Kickball
Rei was out of sorts while she changed before the next gym class. She had been out of sorts for the past three days, since watching Minako's playoff game- or rather, since watching Minako in a playoff game. She couldn't get over her behavior at the game. She wasn't in the habit of ogling her friends, even if they were as attractive as Minako. She glanced at the other girl who was just taking her button down off to put on a t-shirt. She quickly looked away. There she went again, focusing on Minako instead of finishing changing herself. She cursed herself and finished quickly, then marched over to the others to at least pretend like she was involved in their conversation and not driven to distraction by a certain blonde.
At least the others hadn't noticed her distracted state yet. Minako and Makoto had spent the entire previous day talking about their upcoming opponents, while Serena talked about their previous win. Ami had tried to remind everyone that academic finals were coming up as well, but to little avail. Between the volleyball finals and the academic finals, Rei had a good shot of hiding her distracted state indefinitely. But hiding it wouldn't do anything about it. The question was, what was there to do?
The students around them started to file out into the gym and they followed. In the middle of the gym there were four small rubber squares set up in a large diamond. A cone was placed in the middle of the diamond. After their warm up, the teacher told them they would be playing kickball and split them into teams. He vaguely waved his hand at one side of the class and told them to line up behind the one of the squares to kick first. The other half of the class, including Rei and the others, took to the field first. Serena pointed out that the teacher was clearly as ready for the end of the school year as most of the students were.
The defensive positions for kickball weren't as structured as baseball positions. Minako and Makoto wanted to be nearer to the action, but Rei, Ami, and Serena continued well past the mats to the outfield. Rei was happy Minako chose to focus on the game. Some distance might do her some good.
As she watched the game unfold she wondered what about Minako had drawn her gaze so strongly. She was obviously attractive. Even in her gym clothes, which were longer and looser than her volleyball uniform, Minako looked good. There wasn't as much skin showing, but- but she was doing it again. She shouldn't be staring at Minako in any way, shape, or form. She shook her head and resolved to avoid looking at her for the rest of the class.
Which was easier said than done. When the other team got out three times, Rei's team had to bunch together behind the home mat. Luckily for Rei, Minako was still distracted talking by Makoto and their discussion about the next team they would play in the playoffs. Serena was excited to watch another game and kept going on about how much fun it was to cheer for friends in a playoff game. Rei almost frowned. She knew she would be expected to attend the game as well, but in her current state she wasn't sure how she would act during it.
So she tried to practice her self-control. As the game progressed she did her best to keep her eyes on the action. Whether she was in the field or waiting for her turn to kick she focused on the ball as much as possible. When it was her turn to kick she even managed to send it to the outfield and sprint around to second base. Unfortunately for her, the next batter was Minako, and paying attention to the action meant paying attention to Minako.
But she could handle that. All she had to do was focus on the ball, and not on Minako. She wouldn't look at her legs or her waist or her hair, currently up in a ponytail revealing her slender neck. She certainly wouldn't focus on the intense look of concentration on her face as she waited for the teacher to roll the ball. Then Minako slipped her gaze to Rei and gave her a wink. The teacher rolled the ball, Minako took a step and kicked, the ball flew into the outfield, and Rei didn't move. Not until she heard Serena yelling from behind the plate did it occur to her that anything had even happened. She cursed herself again and ran.
She scored easily and turned to watch Minako. The other girl rounded second as the other team threw the ball to an infielder. Minako was fast, but she couldn't outrun a thrown ball, and the infielder's aim was true. Minako was hit. She ran past third base and looped around to the rest of the team at a jog, an easy smile on her face.
"I thought I had it," she said as she reached Rei and the others.
"Save some of that energy for our next game," Makoto said.
"I've got plenty to go around," Minako said. Then she turned and looked pointedly at Rei. "Although I wasn't even sure I'd get a shot since someone didn't want to run. What happened? Too distracted by my sultry good looks?"
Rei almost flinched. That was exactly what had happened. Instead she tried to put on her best sour expression. "That wink was so annoying I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of driving in a run."
Minako stuck her tongue out, something she had often done to Rei before. But this time Rei wasn't annoyed or frustrated by it. It was… still cheeky, but in an endearing way. Something was wrong. When there was something wrong in her life there was only one place to go.
The fire was a special place for Rei. She often turned to it when she couldn't get a handle on her thoughts. It didn't always provide answers but it did always calm her mind. After her staring at Minako and being unable to figure out why she needed that calm.
Of course she knew that staring wasn't a strong enough word for what she had been doing. She had been ogling, leering, creeping- any number of words for objectifying the other girl. She had gazed at Minako's bare legs, higher to those shorts, higher still to where her shirt clung to her so tightly emphasizing her- she took a breath. She wasn't in front of the fire to relive Minako's form
It wasn't the first time she noticed Minako's physical attractiveness. Rei could clearly remember the first time she had seen the other girl in the gym locker room. Minako was as close to objectively attractive as a person could be. She was fit, had great proportions, and an attractive face. But sitting in the stands Rei hadn't been appreciating Minako's beauty for beauty's sake. And Minako wasn't the only attractive person on the volleyball team. Something else was effecting Rei. After all Minako had a lot of Rei's firsts. She was the first person to get a rise out of Rei. She was the first to push into Rei's life. She was the first person outside of her family to care for her. She was Rei's first real kiss, the quick peck with Ami not counting in Rei's mind. And now Minako was the first person Rei felt attraction towards.
Rei had never considered her own sexuality before. Of course she could tell attractive people were attractive, but she never felt any pull before Minako. She wasn't comfortable with that attraction. She had never considered gay people in any meaningful capacity before. She had never met a gay person before- that she knew of, at least. Not that she was gay- for all she knew her sudden leering at Minako was a culmination of ignoring or suppressing any romantic or sexual feelings she might have had. Minako may have acted as a lightning rod, getting all of those pent up urges because her teasing created a lascivious association in Rei's mind.
Or maybe Rei's behavior was a response to all of that teasing. The suggestive remarks and dirty jokes might have triggered Rei to view Minako in that way. Maybe she looked at Minako because she presented that side of life to Rei when no one else dared to.
Or maybe it didn't mean anything at all. She was a teenager, and teenagers were supposed to be volatile and confused. Ogling Minako could have been little more than innocent exploration, harmless and doomed to dissipate as she aged and experienced more of life.
Rei frowned at the fire before her. There were a lot of maybes and the fire wasn't quieting her thoughts. If thinking about her concerns wouldn't help her, then she might as well try to empty her head entirely and try again another time with a fresh perspective. If she could center herself and keep her focus she wouldn't think about Minako in her volleyball uniform, or of her long legs, or of her face flush with victory, the same flush after their kiss when her lips had been so soft, her tongue had been-
Rei cursed herself. Those thoughts weren't helping her relax or helping her believe those maybes. She took another breath, slow and deep, and tried again to clear her head. She was a miko for goodness' sake, she should be able to do that much at least.
It was a slow process. Errant thoughts about her actions, flashes of Minako, and the guilt and recrimination she felt vied for her attention. Instead she focused on the heat from the fire. She focused on the sound of the wind rustling the leaves of the trees that surrounded their temple. She focused on her breathing. And finally her mind settled. The questions she had, the concerns and the maybes, didn't have to be answered immediately. She had been able to interact with Minako as she usually did, albeit with a minor hiccup.
Rei wasn't sure what answers waited for her. She barely knew what questions to ask. With time and patience she would be able to find both. Patience wasn't her strongest attribute, but with the help of the fire she would take her time and figure herself out. At least, she hoped that she could.
A/N: This chapter took a while, but it's done now. All I can say is endings are hard, and this isn't the end yet, but it's close. Maybe four more chapters.
Thanks for reading.
