Here's a long fic for a minor character. Spans about 17 years of Yugao's life or what I make of it. Canon-compliant, as much as that is even possible. Some filler-compliant too, namely the Kakashi ANBU arc that has Yugao joining ANBU as a child and NOT the wartime Yugao arc that has her joining as an adult.

Hope you enjoy as this was...surprisingly both heartbreaking and fulfilling to write.

You know the disclaimer.


Chapter 1: Induction

The wide window behind the Hokage's desk let in only a dim, grey light despite its size. The late winter afternoon was dreary and overcast, and for any other regular person would have been a day to stay inside and wait for spring. But starting today, the two young people in the Hokage's office would no longer be regular people.

Thirteen-year-old Uzuki Yugao knelt before the aging Hokage, settling into what would soon become her second skin: her new ANBU uniform. Surprisingly, the cat-like mask formed seamlessly to her face, its supple, lightweight material a far cry from the clunky, cumbersome thing she had imagined. She was delighted to find that although it kept her face and eyes completely hidden, it didn't impair her vision at all – in fact it was barely even noticeable. Instead, it was the slightly too large vest and arm guards that made her want to shift uncomfortably, but she knew better than to do so in the presence of the Hokage. It was rare that they had to make a uniform this small in size, whoever 'they' were who issued the ANBU gear. The last young recruit had been Hatake Kakashi, whose reputation as a cold-hearted and competent killer reached far beyond the ANBU Black Ops.

She glanced over at the boy kneeling to her left. He didn't seem to be much older than her, or larger for that matter. Beneath his much more embellished cat mask he seemed to wear a happuri-style forehead protector, and his straight brown hair reached his shoulders. If they really were the same age, she didn't seem to recognize him as anyone from the Academy.

Unless he graduated early.

Yugao still held some bitterness about that particular issue. Although her skills had surpassed those of her Academy teachers since age nine, she had been made to stay in the Academy until the usual graduation age of twelve. By then, the war was over, and besides, she had no one to recommend her for early graduation.

But finally, she was being recognized.

"As of today," the old Hokage announced, his pipe balanced delicately on his thin, papery lips, "you are both ANBU Black Ops agents under my direct jurisdiction. From now on, everything you do is for the purpose of maintaining the peace and wellness of the village."

The young ANBU were clever enough to read between the lines. "Everything you do"…spying, infiltration, assassination…although from the outside it would appear as though their moral compasses were skewed – or even non-existent – they would be serving the greater good of the village. Yugao knew this, and had accepted it.

The Hokage continued, "From now on, you may choose what you would like to be called." He turned to the boy first.

"Tenzou."

"Yugao."

The Hokage nodded in acknowledgement.

Yugao had known beforehand that she would have the option of making up a codename, yet she had chosen to stick with the name her parents had given her. After all, there was no one left who knew her by that name. She wondered if it was the same for the boy.

"Tenzou, Yugaou," the Hokage nodded to each shinobi in turn, "Do you vow to dedicate your lives to protecting the village of Konoha as ANBU operatives and to put your trust in the office of the Hokage for as long as you serve?"

"I do."

"I do."

The boy's voice sounded so small for a statement so large. She wondered if hers sounded small too.

"As you know, it is imperative that you now keep your identities as ANBU a secret. Some of the closer and more clever people around you may figure it out, and if they do, so be it as long as they are people you trust, although, in your cases…"

Again, they were able to read between the lines. So, the boy had no family, either. Although not a prerequisite, this seemed to be the general disposition of any potential ANBU candidate.

"…This includes hiding your identity even from your fellow ANBU comrades. For this purpose, you are always to keep your masks on."

"With all due respect Hokage-sama," Yugao retorted, "Why must we hide even from our ANBU comrades?"

Clearly, the Hokage was not expecting any kind of unprompted responses from his new recruits, much less a direct questioning of his rules. Nevertheless, he handled the interruption with grace. "It is to prevent any kind of…attachment."

"But Hokage-sama, as shinobi we are able to kill our emotions. We would never let any attachments get in the way of a mission."

She knew that, considering her position, she should have held her tongue, but her entire understanding of what a shinobi was that she had held for her entire life was being challenged, and she wanted to know why.

To her surprise, the Hokage smiled. "In that respect, you are only partially correct, Yugao. The assignments you take on in ANBU will often require you to put aside your personal beliefs and desires. However, even though it is difficult, I ask you not to kill your emotions. Do you know why?"

This time, Yugao was silent. She had never before felt quite so aware of her age. And she didn't like it.

The Hokage continued, "It is because in order to truly possess and understand the Will of Fire that protects this village, there is one emotion you must have. Do you know what it is?"

Again, Yugao didn't know. Part of her was relieved to see that the boy also had no answer.

It seemed as though the Hokage had expected this.

"Well, I can only hope that you will find out in time. For now, you may rest. In two days you will go on your first mission, and after that, you will be assigned to a team. But first, your mission leader Hatake Kakashi has requested that you meet him for a special training tomorrow morning, seven o'clock, training ground nine. You are dismissed."

Hatake Kakashi? Right off the bat? Yugao looked out the window. Dusk had fallen. She was glad that she would at least have the whole night to mentally prepare herself.

The new recruits thanked the Hokage and stood to exit the room. Yugao noticed that the boy – Tenzou was his name – was only slightly taller than her, and to her warped satisfaction, his frame didn't fully fill out the ANBU uniform either. Outside the office, he gave her a short nod, and headed off his own way.

As she walked home, Yugao couldn't help but be a little curious as to what this boy was capable of.

Chilly morning mist still hung in the air when Yugao arrived for the special training the next morning. Tenzou arrived virtually at the same time and greeted her with a nod much like the one he had given her the night before. Yugao was content that they seemed to be on the same page. Small talk was not her strong suit, and nor did she find it particularly necessary. Instead, they both chose to stand in silence, staring at a random spot they assumed their superior might come from.

As the mist dissipated and the sun rose higher in the sky, Yugao began to get annoyed. Kakashi was late. And he's supposed to be one of the top ANBU captains? How disappointing.

She looked over at her new comrade, but to no surprise, he was completely unreadable. Yugao contemplated letting out a distressed sigh to see if he would react or show any sign that he was as annoyed as she. She decided against it.

Twenty more minutes passed in complete silence before she spotted a tall figure seemingly appear out of thin air and lazily saunter towards them.

"Good morning Kakashi-senpai!"

Although she was trained not to show it, Yugao was shocked. 'Senpai?' Did they know each other? Officially there were no rankings in ANBU, although technically as a captain with far more experience, Kakashi did hold seniority. But still, he was late and therefore rude, and for that she decided to withhold any honorifics.

"Yo, Tenzou, and you are…?"

He settled his gaze on Yugao and waited. She noticed that he wasn't even wearing his ANBU mask. Of course, his face was mostly covered by a cloth mask and his forehead protector. But still. Bothering to learn Tenzou's name and not her own? Strike two.

"Yugao."

"Great, let's get started." He held up two small silver bells that he got from who-knows-where. The man was fast. "All you need to do is take one of these from me and you're done. You should be able to do this individually, but seeing as there are two of you, you get a little boost. Lucky you."

Something about his tone was not doing him any favors in Yugao's view.

"Ready? Go." Before either of them could make a move, Kakashi had disappeared.

One thing he hadn't mentioned was that having a partner was not their only advantage. Kakashi's fame was so widespread that even young ninja such as herself knew about all the techniques he was capable of, especially his sharingan. All they had to do was exploit his weaknesses. It may be a powerful eye, but it didn't have 360º vision like the byakugan, and it used up a lot of chakra.

She looked over at her partner. He pointed to himself, then to the right, then to the ground. She understood what this meant. He would cover Kakashi's right side and below, and she would cover the left side and above. She nodded, and watched him seemingly phase into the ground. So that's his ability. Weird. I guess that means I'm up. She leapt up into the trees.

As a budding sensory type, Yugao first focused on sensing out Kakashi's chakra. To her annoyance, there were three of him. Shadow clones. Unfortunately, her sensory skills were not adept enough to know which one was the real body, so she just focused on taking down the one to the left, hoping Tenzou had figured out enough to take the one on the right.

After a quick spar her opponent vanished in a puff of smoke. She sensed again. One left. Good going Tenzou.

Immediately it was apparent that a sneak attack would not work. Kakashi had already sensed her coming, and as soon as she started forming hand signs, he countered with the exact same movements. So his sharingan is already activated. She gave up on finishing the signs and threw a kunai instead. He dodged easily and sent one right back. It came so close to Yugao that it sheared off a few strands of her violet hair. Well I guess they don't call him the copy ninja for nothing. Still makes him seem like more of a jerk though.

Since she was supposed to be attacking from above, Yugao jumped from tree branch to tree branch, launching her attacks in rapid succession. Each one was blocked or sent right back with equal or stronger force. She was starting to tire but if anything, she knew that his sharingan was tiring him out more, so she didn't mind. What she did mind was that Tenzou was nowhere to be seen, and she couldn't expend any more energy on trying to locate his strangely unique chakra signature.

Suddenly, huge branches of wood sprung from the ground and wrapped around Kakashi, immobilizing him momentarily. At the end of one branch hung one tiny silver bell. Phasing cautiously out of one of Kakashi's previously cast mud walls was Tenzou. Kakashi seemed pleased.

"Nice strategizing Tenzou, but Yugao, it seems you might want to cut your hair…"

Indeed, littered around the battle zone were hundreds of strands of Yugao's violet hair that had been cut or ripped off in the various attacks. Long, loosely-kept hair was a liability, a risk only to be taken by the most elite – or the most cocky.

Kakashi cut through the wood with lightening release and turned to face what he thought was his now disadvantaged lone opponent. But before he could take even a single step, what seemed to be hundreds of senbon flew into the air and stopped short of stabbing through all of his vitals.

Calmly, Yugao jumped down from her tree and snatched the remaining bell. Kakashi stayed still. "This is…"

The senbon gathered, as if being summoned, into Yugao's outstretched hand and relaxed into long purple strands. She brushed them back onto her head and they reattached to her scalp. "I think I'll be keeping my hair the way it is, thanks."

"This jutsu is –"

"It's not exactly one jutsu. It's a series of techniques requiring precise chakra control and years of training." She smirked behind her mask. After all, not everyone could channel chakra through their hair and control it remotely after it's been cut off. All her attacks were just a distraction meant to allow her to scatter her "weapons" and keep Kakashi's gaze up above, so he wouldn't notice the small amounts of chakra gathering around his feet. And it worked.

She was elite. And – maybe a little bit cocky.

"Anyway…" Kakashi quickly recovered from any shock he might have felt and resumed his lazy, aloof air. "This wasn't a test. I just wanted to see what you could do."

"But senpai –"

Yugao mentally rolled her eyes.

"– you already knew I could use wood release."

Kakashi shrugged. "I just wanted to see it again."

Wood release…so that's what it was. But to her knowledge, no one since the First Hokage was supposed to have wood release, so how did this boy…

Kakashi's voice jerked her out of her thoughts. "I'll brief you about our mission tomorrow. Meet at the ANBU gate at eight AM. Later."

"Will you be on time?" Yugao challenged. She did not want another repeat of this morning.

Kakashi just turned, shrugged, then disappeared.

"Well, see you tomorrow."

Yugao turned to look at Tenzou in his red and green striped cat mask. It seemed they had now moved beyond simple nods of greeting and parting. "Yeah," was all she could muster in response, unused to the familiarity. He raised his hand in parting before going his own way. Somehow, after this training, she was even more confused about Tenzou than before.

But one thing was clear: she did not like Hatake Kakashi.

Kakashi was late the next morning, of course. But Yugao was more surprised to see another ANBU besides Tenzou there waiting – a taller man in a green owl mask. It seemed they would be a typical four-man squad today.

This time Kakashi arrived in his full ANBU gear, mask included, at least.

"Our mission today is to retrieve intel from an informant in the Land of Waterfalls. Ku," he gestured towards the owl-masked ANBU member, "has been working with this informant for some time, so he will handle the exchange. The rest of us are backup. We have reason to believe that the informant has been compromised. Priority is bringing the intel back to Konoha. If things turn sour, leave no survivors. Understood?"

"But wouldn't we want to capture one attacker for questioning? –"

"Understood?"

Yugao didn't miss the pointed look shot from behind his mask and held her tongue. The three ANBU nodded to their captain.

The beginning of the mission was mostly uneventful. Ku went on ahead and Kakashi tracked him by scent. At first, based on Ku's correspondence through wireless radio, it seemed as though the mission would go smoothly. Ku was able to retrieve the intel scroll and start back towards Konoha without issue until –

"I'm being followed. Four shinobi. Informer's dead."

The pursuers were planning an ambush. From their position at the rendezvous point, Kakashi gave the signal to move.

Yugao could feel the adrenaline rushing through her veins. The sound of the wind whistling past her ears intensified as her senses sharpened. This wouldn't be the first time she would have to kill an enemy. Although she had only held the rank of genin before being recruited to ANBU, a fated C-rank mission turned A-rank had forced her to witness bloodshed – and be the cause of it. Since then, there had been no question as to what she was capable of.

Ku's voice came back over the radio. He was breathing hard, panting. "Don't fight. Scroll is real. They haven't seen you yet. I can lose them."

Kakashi held up an arm to stop them in their tracks. Don't fight? Lose them? What happened to 'leave no survivors'? It occurred to Yugao that perhaps Kakashi and Ku had already formed some secret secondary plan without their knowledge. So this was how ANBU operated.

What seemed like several agonizing minutes later, Ku's voice was heard once more. "Ok. 1.5 kilometers northwest of the rendezvous point."

"I sense you."

Yugao was slightly annoyed that Kakashi's nose had a wider range than her own sensory abilities. She would have to work on that.

By the time they reached Ku they found him sitting against a tree. He was badly injured, but all his senses were still there.

"What happened?"

"Killed one, injured two, one retreated. Captain, they won't stop until they have this scroll." He produced the coveted intel scroll from a pocket on his vest and gave it to Kakashi. From his pouch he pulled out another scroll and transformed it to look identical to the one he just handed over. "I'm ready."

It only took a second for Yugao to realize what was happening. Ku's entire body was covered in special-grade, ANBU-exclusive explosive tags. Most were hidden under his clothing but she only needed to recognize the corner of one sticking out of his collar to understand what he was about to do. When an ANBU died in the field, they could leave no trace of their body.

"We can make it painless," Kakashi almost whispered.

"Kakashi – "

"Tenzou, set traps one meter in every direction. We'll remotely detonate when the enemy gets near. Yugao, use your hair senbon. Make it undetectable."

Yugao's breath caught in her throat. One of Kakashi's nicknames floated into her mind. Friend-killer Kakashi. He wouldn't hesitate even to kill a friend for the sake of a mission. Was this some kind of test?

Kakashi's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "Yugao, now!"

Yugao had no problem with killing an enemy. She had done it before and she would do it again, but this…

And then Yugao did something she would regret for the rest of her life. As she formed one strand of hair into an impossibly sharp senbon and poised it near Ku's ear canal, she looked through the holes of his owl mask and into his eyes. They were blue and they were empty and they were looking right back at her. As the senbon pierced through his ear canal and into his brain she held his gaze. She watched the life disappear from his eyes. It's not that she wanted to, but she just couldn't look away. She heard him take his final breath. Faintly, some part of her brain registered surprise that his eyes did not close, as she thought they would, but rather remained open and wide and dull.

"Let's go!"

They left him against the tree, clutching the fake scroll as they retreated. From the outside, it would look as though he was simply resting. On Tenzou's signal, Kakashi detonated the bombs once both pursuers had activated his traps.

"Yugao, sense for survivors."

Regaining her focus, Yugao pushed her chakra perception to her farthest possible reach.

"No survivors."

As they sped back towards Konoha, real intel scroll in hand, Yugao had time to thoroughly assess the situation. Ku had been badly and painfully wounded, but most likely would have made it back to Konoha if they had the time. If the two pursuing shinobi were already injured as Ku had said, Kakashi, Tenzou, and Yugao probably could have taken them easily. So why did they have to leave Ku behind?

But, she answered for herself, one shinobi had escaped, knowing full well that Ku was gravely injured. If they had returned with backup to find their two comrades dead and Ku gone, they would have known he had gotten some help and kept pursuing. They had to believe that Ku and their comrades had died in the blast along with the scroll.

She had to admit, it was the best strategy to secure their mission success. Of course, Kakashi must have worked this all out beforehand. The image of Ku's lifeless eyes flashed before her own. He knew exactly how this mission would end.

If these were the types of actions she was expected to take in ANBU, how could the Hokage ask her to hold on to even a shred of emotion?

The sun had set by the time they reached the secret ANBU gates leading back into the village. Slowing down to a stop Kakashi turned to face Yugao and Tenzou, who had done well to keep up with him despite their differences in height and stride.

"I need to make something clear."

Kakashi's tone was dark and serious, much unlike the laissez-faire attitude he had displayed at their training the day before. Was that really only the day before?

"That could have been either one of you today," the copy-nin announced. He was referring to what happened to Ku. "Don't think you're getting any special treatment just because you're new and you're young. You can't depend on anyone to have your back. No one's going to look out for you. No one's going to hesitate to dispose of you if it enhances the success of the mission. You are ANBU now. You must be prepared for death at any moment."

Yugao and Tenzou were silent. Kakashi waited only a few seconds to let his message sink in, then disappeared.

The moon shone weakly through a break in the clouds.

"I don't think he was being entirely truthful, do you?" came Tenzou's soft voice from her left. Yugao realized that she hadn't heard him speak a full sentence to her in the three days they had known each other. He sounded tired, but there was something inherently…innocent in his voice.

Yugao turned to her companion in confusion. "About having to be prepared for death at any moment? I don't doubt that one bit."

He shook his head. "Not that, about nobody having your back."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, well, he could have let Ku detonate his own bombs."

Yugao let that register in her mind. 'We can make it painless' Kakashi had said before giving Yugao the order to end Ku's life. Was that how Kakashi showed compassion?

"Well, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

When Yugao got home and closed her eyes all she could see was Ku. She had only known him for one day - less than one day - so why did she care? Why did she try to look past his mask and into his eyes, and why didn't she look away?

Perhaps she hadn't imagined it, the words he whispered with his last breath.

'Thank you.'

"You can come in."

It was clear that Kakashi was talking to Yugao, who had stopped a few steps behind him and Tenzou. They were entering the men's ANBU locker room in the hidden corridors under the Hokage mansion, where the Hokage had told them they would receive their team assignments and meet their captains.

"You can enter ours, but we can't enter yours," Kakashi clarified, pointing at the tattoo on his right shoulder. Their ANBU tattoos were infused with a jutsu that allowed them access to certain rooms and documents that regular people did not have. She nodded and followed them in.

Inside, the room was large, spacious, rows of lockers lined evenly across the optimally designed space. Benches occupied the spaces between the lockers, shelves lined the walls, and young men chatted and joked with or without their masks or ANBU gear. There was a sense of, not closeness – that could never happen – but something like camaraderie, a sense that even though they knew they may have to watch each other die in the field, they were the only ones who would ever truly understand what kind of world they lived in.

"Tenzou, you're with me," Kakashi sounded pleased, if that were possible, "Team Ro. Your locker's over here." As Tenzou joined his team he was greeted with nods, introductions, and claps on the back. So quickly and easily, he was one of them. Yugao suddenly felt very isolated.

"Yugao?"

She turned towards a tall dark-haired man in a bull mask who she presumed was her captain.

"Yes."

"You're on Team Go. We meet at training ground twenty-four. Seven AM. Women's locker room is down the hall to the left."

"Thank you."

He nodded. No other teammates came to introduce themselves, so she left.

The only door down the left side of the hallway looked like it led to a closet, and when she opened it, she discovered that her assumption wasn't that far off. Compared to the men's locker room, the women's was small, cramped, slightly claustrophobic even. The "lockers" seemed to be rows of mismatched old wardrobes and cabinets, and the spaces between them were so narrow only a few women could access them at a time. A few folding chairs were shoved unceremoniously into the corners of the room, and all of them were occupied.

No one spoke. Some of the women glanced up at her when she entered, then simply went back to what they were doing – changing into their civilian clothes, adjusting wigs, applying makeup or covering their faces with cloth masks or glasses. Yugao was fairly certain she would never be able to recognize any of their true faces even if she wanted to. It was possible that some were even employing a transformation jutsu. She knew she would have to wear a civilian disguise from now on, and had prepared a black wig and a black pencil to color her eyebrows, although she wasn't quite sure how to do the rest of her makeup yet. After what seemed like minutes of no one acknowledging her presence, finally she heard someone call, "What team are you on?"

"Team Go."

Another voice answered, "Figures. They never put more than one of us on a team."

So she'd be the only kunoichi on her team. Yugao wasn't surprised.

"Are you a medical ninja?" asked a woman in a green-striped antelope mask.

"No."

"You mean, not yet." The room snickered.

"Your locker is over here."

The source of the helpful voice was a light brown-haired woman in a rabbit mask. She seemed to be in her early twenties. She was gesturing toward the cabinet next to hers, shoved nearest to the wall. As Yugao started putting away her things and changing out of her ANBU gear, the woman spoke to her again.

"You're probably thinking this is very different from the boys' atmosphere, huh?"

Yugao nodded. Whereas the men had been fraternal and almost relaxed, the women came off as cold and detached.

"There are only a few of us kunoichi so we should all help each other and get along," the woman continued, "is what I would say, but between dying in the field and quitting, most of us don't last very long."

Yugao hadn't heard of many ANBU quitting for reasons besides old age or injury, but she supposed that even after being thoroughly screened and admitted, some people still couldn't handle the pressure.

Since this woman would likely be the only one to talk to her, Yugao decided to ask her about something that had been bothering her before she lost the woman's attention.

"How come the men have a real locker room and we have..." She glanced around as if the word she was looking for would appear before her eyes.

"A closet?"

Yugao nodded.

"How old are you?" Yugao wasn't sure if she should answer, she was trying to keep as much of her identity a secret after all. The woman didn't seem to mind. "Doesn't matter, but you look young. The longer you live in this world, the more you'll come to understand."

It wasn't really an answer but Yugao figured it was the best she would get. As she put on her new wig she combed the black hair into a high bun at the top of her head. She felt strange not having any bangs to frame her face but she figured it would help with the disguise element. She covered her nose and mouth with a white cloth mask that hooked behind her ears, and fastened a small butterfly clip at the base of her bun. Her parents had gotten it for her when she was a child but she couldn't seem to outgrow it just yet. As she closed the door to her locker she saw that it was secured with a padlock and key, not the combination locks the men had. Most of the women had filtered out by then and only she and the rabbit-masked woman were left. To her surprise, the woman was still in her full ANBU gear.

As she was locking her own cabinet/locker the woman caught her staring. "Guard duty. Night shift." For some reason this woman had a knack for reading Yugao's mind. As she approached the door to exit the woman stopped, Yugao following not far behind. She turned and Yugao could tell she was peering at her through the holes of her mask, even though Yugao couldn't see her eyes.

"Look, don't expect me or anyone else to look out for you here."

Yugao had heard that one before.

"But...you're new and you're young so I'm only going to say this once. Get lots of rest. Eat healthy meals whenever you can. Prove to everyone that you deserve to be here. And... have a good night."

The kunoichi left before getting any answer, but Yugao believed that might have been the kindest thing anyone had said to her in years.