Running On Empty: Carry On My Wayward Son
It was warm when I awoke. Above me the wood beams and ceiling of a slanted roof. The distant sound of chickens and cattle echoed up to me. There was a thick furred blanket thrown over my body and a flush flashed up my face when I realized my armor was removed. Hastily I sat up and found myself in a shift, old and worn out cotton, a size too big for me. Off to one side, I found my armor cleaned and propped up against the wall, my maul sitting with it, leaned against the shoulder. With a swallow, I slipped out from under the covers and drew in the room. Warm and simply decorated, open to the floor below me. I'm in a loft. There were voices downstairs and they hushed as my feet touched the floor and the wood sighed with my weight.
The sound of feet came from the stairs not far off and I bolted back under the covers. I peered through from under them as the shadow approached and relief flooded me as Cassandra's full form came into view. Tears sprung to my eyes, ecstatic to see the other woman. The covers are thrown back and I surprised Cassandra with a sudden and overpowering hug. We nearly topple over, but my viper readily caught my weight, grunting with surprise. Her arms hesitate before she gently dropped them around my shoulders and returned my hug.
"Jaime?" Cassandra asked gently.
"I missed you so much." I muttered into her shoulder. Her armor was biting into my skin, the shift I wore offered no protection from the metal. Pulling away, I swiped at my eyes to clear the tears. Cassandra blinked, startled to see them. "I don't know how I do anything of this without you around, Cassandra."
"Yes, well." Cassandra sighed. "You nearly didn't. Imagine my surprise when the Iron Bull comes upon our camp with you draped in his arms."
"Oh god, no." I groaned and dropped back down onto the bed. Cassandra hesitated again, but left her shield and sword by the bedside and took a seat next to me. Gently and without prompting, she shifted to lean into my shoulder. Gladly, I leaned into her and sighed, rubbing my face.
"What happened, Jaime?" Cassandra's eyes roamed over my slump form and the same worry I had seen in Blackwall's and Varric's eyes appeared over her face. I shrugged, unsure of what to say or how to say it without sounding completely insane. I would also have to contend with the fact that I passed out and my company would treat me like glass.
"It caught up with me." I murmured softly, my eyes cast down to the floor. My toes wiggled. "We closed a rift. A rift. Just one. And it was almost too much for me to handle." A snort escaped me and I threw myself back onto the bed, hands smothering my face and voice muffled. "How am I supposed to do this, Cassandra? If I pass out each time I close a rift..."
"We'll be better prepared." Cassandra cut me off. I peeked at her from behind my hands. Her face scowled. "Solas... told me some of what happened, but I feel with present company he was reluctant to share all."
Another snort and I shook my head, looking up at the ceiling as my hands fell. "Don't do that. We have to be open about this, it's going to kill us all if we're not careful." I couldn't have divides starting to crop up between my company. I did it myself already and that had to stop, too. It was hard to reconcile the fact that I had a spy at my back, prepared to kill me if the worst came to pass; possession or loss of control. I knew it was necessary, I didn't want anyone I knew dying because I was reckless.
Still, though.
A heavy sigh broke the silence. "Cassandra. Who bathed me?"
The woman chuckled. "Not I, for certain. The Horse Master's wife, they allowed us use of their home and hospitality. We've been trying to negotiate with Dennett on the acquisition of his horses, but he's stubborn." A chuckle came up my throat and I shot her an amused look. She huffed and stood up from the bed. "Since you're better, get dressed, perhaps you can talk some sense into the Horse Master."
Cassandra left and I was in a better mood then when I had woken up. It was unknown to me how long I had slept, as the sun had been setting by the time we had made it to the farms, and daylight was pouring in from outside. I sincerely hoped I wasn't placed in a bed to rest while everyone else was left outside. Maybe they slept in the barn? Was there a barn? With a sigh, I wandered over to my armor and pulled on my leathers and metal plates. Once my maul was on my back, I headed down the stairs to find Dennett still at odds with Cassandra.
"Ah, you're awake." Dennett turned to me, his face hard and arms crossed. "They told me you had sealed a rift. Good on you, Inquisition. At least someone is trying to put things right." I nodded. Cassandra was the only one in the home, the rest of my company was probably outside. His wife stood not far from us at a table, scratching something out in a leather-bound book. A ledger, perhaps.
"We're attempting to, yes." I answered once at the foot of the stairs. I wandered over, Cassandra's scowl was firmly in place, but she was forcing her arms to stay at her sides. My head tilted toward Dennett, "Aside from us, has any of the Inquisition come to you? For help or otherwise?"
"Aye, they have." He answered readily. "They've come asking for horses, saying they need help."
Confused, I ventured gently. "And you refused them?"
"Too right I did." He huffed. "We've got bandits, rogue Templars, rebellious mages, all the like willing to take without asking. I'm not about to send a herd of Ferelden's finest breeds down the road like one sends a letter, only to have them end up as someone's dinner."
"Ah." I murmured, eyebrows raised. "That's a fair point. A deal, then? What could we do to earn those horses, make you feel safer?" The Horse Master stared at me for a moment and then glanced over at his wife. The woman gave him the smallest and briefest of shrugs. He exhaled roughly and turned his dark eyes back to me.
"When we originally heard about this organization of yours, it was a surprise to hear it run by a no-name, run-of-the-mill mercenary, but, you are trying to help." It took a lot of willpower not to allow a matching scowl on my face at the spit-in-the-bucket comment. He shrugged his shoulders and gestured to his chin over at his wife. "Talk to her, and my farmhand. Find out what they need done to secure our lands and I'll send you horses."
"You know," I drawled slightly, my face stony, "if you have a problem with me personally, I'd rather know about it."
Dennett blinked, confusion flashing across his face. "What? No. I have no problem with you, Maker, I know how hard it is to start out from nothing and I respect you for it, doing the good thing. No, Inquisition, no problem, I just have other things that need my attention before I start helping you." With an inhale, I nodded. It was as I had told Cassandra when we first started this venture in the Hinterlands, people weren't going to stick their necks out for a distant organization when their own kin were suffering. I turned to Cassandra, but she was far from appeased.
"Thank you, ser. I'll see about attending to the problems with your people." I bowed my head and Dennett stalked out the front door, business of the day waiting no longer. Curiously, his wife waited for me with an expectant gaze and meekly, I shuffled my way over, giving her a smile. She was quick to shoot me down with a stern look, her eyes hard and she stood to her full height, tall as Cassandra.
"I heard what my man said." She glanced at the door, no introduction beyond that. Sharp eyes turned back to me. "If you want horses, we need our farmers back safe in their fields. Since the Breach, the wolves have gone mad. They come after our men like beasts with the water-sickness." An eyebrow raised to my hairline as I was unfamiliar with the term and glanced at Cassandra for a split second. My viper shrugged and gestured to the horse-master's wife with a tip of her chin. The wife scowled, "You deal with the wolves, and our farmers will be safe again."
"How are these wolves acting different than normal?" A flash of yesterday's fight came to thought. The wolves attacking instead of scattering. It was safer to ask and cover my bases. Solas and Bull had known something was strange about the beasts, and I couldn't ignore the fact that wolves like the ones we had encountered weren't strange; I had nothing to base is off since the only wolves I had encountered before were from a zoo.
The woman stared at me, unsure if I had meant the question. "Normal wolves go after livestock, but come at them with a torch and blade, and they run." She hesitated, a memory crossing her face, pulling at the corners of her eyes and worrying her mouth. "These beasts, though... It's like darkspawn during the Blight, or when the dead rose to attack us." My eyebrows shot clear off my forehead at the mention of dead rising. Zombies? What the fuck? Again with the not mentioning things. I would have to start talking to Varrci instead, even if his stories were exaggerated, there had to be a grain of truth in them.
The wife sighed heavily, "They're possessed, or something like it. I've lost too many men to the beasts. I won't endanger more."
"Of course." I answered and bowed my head respectfully. "We'll see what we can do. Thank you for your time." She followed us out and turned to go to her field. Cassandra and I wandered over to another cabin not too far off from the main homestead. I could see a fire off in the distance and I figured it was the camp the Inquisition finally set up with the choke-point cleared out. My attention turned to the cabin and inside was a scruffy, muscle-bound farmhand. I rocked back on my heels when we nearly collided at the door.
"Hello," I hiccupped, grinning. The farmhand blinked and brought his focus to me, letting out a big, echoing barrel laugh. He bowed and stepped aside, allowing Cassandra and I to step through.
"Sorry about that, Inquisition." He chuckled, voice coming from deep within his chest. "I'm running a bit behind on the list of things needing be done."
"I can understand that. We won't take up too much of your time." I cleared my throat and jabbed a thumb over my shoulder. "Your master made us aware of some needs here on the farm that perhaps the Inquisition could assist with?" His eyes lit up and he waved us over to a map that he had spread out over a table. The cabin was warm and dusty, all around the ground and bed a scattering of books and parchments, scrolls and more maps. My mouth twisted a bit in amusement, perhaps another for Leliana's horde? I glanced at the map and saw scratches of charcoal over a few places.
"The master doesn't want me handing those refugees weapons until they have any hope of defending themselves." He brushed away some dust from the maps and pointed to the marks he had made in charcoal. Scrambling, I reached for my oil-leather knapsack and dug for my little map. Hastily, Cassandra snatched up a piece of charcoal and handed it to me, both of us intent on the map he had. "If you build a few watchtowers, we'd all have more warning before the next attack."
"This is brilliant." I breathed, marking my map and circling the crossings I made, scribbling in notes to make sure I didn't confuse them with the other landmarks I had jotted down. My gaze flicked up to the farmhand and he was grinning wide, pleased with himself. "I'll see that this gets to our Commander. The Inquisition forces will be here to build your watchtowers."
The farmhand nodded, grateful. "You do that, and I'll tell the master and get your people the weapons they need." Relieved that these errands were doable, Cassandra and I left the cabin and allowed the farmhand to dash out to finish his duties. A sigh escaped me and a hand of mind came up to my forehead, index finger and thumb pressed into the temples on either side. Cassandra spared me a quick glance and huffed. I raised an eyebrow at her, questioning.
"You're doing well." Cassandra murmured. "I am... not surprised, you've been learning, but I am glad to see you come into your own."
Something warm swelled under my lungs. "Th-thanks. I have been trying. Without you around to poke and prod me, I've had to do it myself."
"Oh, thank you." Cassandra snorted, amused. "I only did what I thought was best to help you."
"I know, Cassandra." I soothed and placed a hand on her elbow for a moment, and then tugged. "C'mon. We need to get back to that camp I saw over there and see about clearing out those wolves and then fixing up the rest before we head back to Haven."
Cassandra blinked at me, but followed. "Haven? So soon?"
"The food has been taken care of," I answered and trudged over the loamy, rolling ground under us. The camp wasn't far from the homestead and that made sense. If the wolves were being abnormal and the farmhands were having trouble keeping the bandits at bay, this was the safest place to be at the moment. "I could send the watchtower information back through bird, but... after the rift, Solas and I need to talk, and I think I may need to placate Bull."
"The Iron Bull?" Cassandra turned to me in alarm. "Why? What happened?" I hesitated and debated telling her. Cassandra was passionate and any slight against her and her own she took extremely personally. It would make her itchy to have Bull on our team or at least at my side if there was any hint of possible betrayal on his part. Though I was starkly against my death in case of shit hitting the fan, I could (horribly) understand where he was coming from and why it was necessary. It still rustled my feathers, but I could deal. Cassandra perhaps not so much.
I should not be so comfortable with my possible murder.
I sighed heavily. "Nothing, really. He did what he was hired to do, which is protect me and help... but with the incident at the rift and how I reacted to it, I don't think we're on the same page right now. Solas and I also need to hammer out what happened, exam it, and make sure it doesn't happen again." I shook my head and looked over at her, slowing down just before I crossed the little pond toward the camp. "Cassandra, there is so much more to this Mark than just being a key a-and... I'm scared. I don't know what it's doing to me."
"What do I need to do?" Cassandra offered firmly. Tears sprung to my eyes, relieved and ever so grateful for Cassandra. No judgment, no question, just support. I could hug her again if she wouldn't strike me dead because of it. I turned to her and looked over her stern, stone face.
"Just, keep an eye on me. Please." My words shook as I said them, my throat tight. "I think people place me too high on a pedestal that the possibility of me doing anything wrong is inconceivable to them, but I can be wrong, Cassandra - and when I am, I need someone to stop me." My eyes caught sight of Bull. The giant creature was seated among the tents and using a whetstone on the edge of a blade I didn't recognize. He may have been helping. Varric was nearby him, writing something in a journal. Solas and Blackwall were engaged in conversation and my heart shuddered at the thought of hurting them.
"I will, Jaime," she promised me gently. With a swallow, I nodded, grateful that she would help me from spiraling into insanity. We continued toward the camp, our boots pushing ripples through the pond as we approached. The company looked up and I could see relief flash over a few faces, Solas the only impassable expression. A smile flirted with my lips weakly and I saluted the other Inquisition soldiers and dismissed them back to their duties. My company was soon around me, fencing our conversation off.
"New plan," I sighed. "The master of the land isn't going budge about the horses if there's still chaos. We need these bandits and rogues outta here." I rubbed at my forehead with the heel of my palm and ran my fingers into my hair, feeling it loose. I blinked, realized I probably looked like a right mess, and proceeded to bring my hair over my shoulder to braid. "His wife and foreman ask that we deal with some wolves in the area, as well as set up watchtowers."
Solas hummed. "The watchtowers would need to be sent to Lady Montilyet and Commander Cullen. They would need to fund and build them. We have locations?" I nodded and handed over my map, once more as Solas had come to be our information keeper. He looked over them with Blackwall spying over his shoulder briefly and sighed with a nod. Away went the map into his knapsack. His head tilted and his ears twitched. "Blackwall and I were discussing the wolves. While you slept, more came to the farm."
"Aye," Blackwall huffed, "they're more than wild. We could trace them back to their lair, if you'd like."
"You can do that?" I asked, surprised.
He smirked. "That I can, tracking is a good skill to have when you're chasing down darkspawn. We can find the wolves and have them dealt with for the farm." My lungs inhaled, the plan falling together. There was a beat of silence as I contemplated the next few steps. My group waited around me quietly and my eyes flickered to Cassandra, thoughtful. My viper shared my look and tilted her head toward me, waiting for my thoughts to voice themselves.
"I need to get back to Haven." I said finally with another look around my group. "We need the Chargers to set camp there and not have their belongings on the road and I need to check in with Josephine on the state of affairs." My gaze swiftly left Cassandra and rested on Blackwall. "Leliana will also need to talk to you concerning the other Wardens and I need to find out if she has any other leads for me to follow." Nods went around my group and another swelling of warmth bubbled under my heart. This was far from easy, dealing out orders and action plans, but I trusted my people. I trusted Solas, Cassandra, and Varric to keep me in line and check me.
Now I had to learn to trust the other two. My eyes looped between Varric and Cassandra, "Cassandra. May you and Varric please start heading back toward the Crossroads and have the Chargers start packing up. Tell Corporal Vale the plan and set up a system so that he and his soldiers can maintain the hold the Chargers have given us." Varric blinked at me, startled. This would be the first time he'd be separated from me while away from Haven. Did I worry him, I wondered?
"You sure, sweetheart?" He asked with a glance over my face. Cassandra had a frown flash over her face; Varric was not her most favorite of travel companions. I hoped with the addition of the Chargers to lead back home to Haven, she would not kill Varric in his sleep.
I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm good, Varric." The dwarf took another moment to scan my face and sighed, shrugging and scratching at the back of his head. I guess I do worry him. I shouldn't be surprised, after the fainting spell I had yesterday, I'd be dogging my steps, too. I didn't have to glance at Cassandra, I could feel her shoulders stiffen and her back straightened. She was prepared to do what I had asked and merely awaited the dismissal.
"Our company to consist of myself, The Iron Bull, and Warden Blackwall." Solas murmured toward me. It was a question, the slightest tilt to his words, curious as to what I was doing. With the company as it remained, I was isolating myself with only Solas as backup. It was a horrible gamble and I was praying I didn't have another issue with Bull.
"Yup," it came with a nod from me, "We need Blackwall for tracking, and Bull for power. If there's really a demon controlling the pack, there might be a rift, too. So you and I need to be there to deal with it."
"Are we still going to attempt closing those rifts?" Bull spoke up with a rumble. Our gazes caught together and there was a dark question in his one good eye.
"We have to." I answered steadily, holding his gaze. "Whether or not we're prepared for them, we can't leave them open. If we come across one, we deal with it. Can you accept that?" I threw the question back at him, pointedly. I knew what he wanted, but I wasn't going to back down because I was terrified. That wasn't going to change the fact that it was something that had to be done. I could do it, I had the Mark, I would do it and hope it didn't kill me.
I expected another prod, but he grinned wide at me. "Well, alright, then. Lead on, Boss."
- 0 -
We followed Blackwall's lead from the camp down toward the river. From the additional map that Solas had, we had come across Forannan Ravine. It was a steep slope down, the moss and boulders making the trip down difficult. Blackwall paced along the riverbed and paused to glance across the water. A slight hesitation gripped him before he crossed. Obediently, I followed and jumped along the tops of some protruding rocks and made it to the other side, my boots squished into the mud.
Solas followed along as well and leapt a bit further to make it past the mud. I flicked a bit of it at him with my boot and it caught his thigh. He scowled at me and with a laugh, I hurried after Blackwall to leave Bull and the sour elf to bring up the rear. As we approached the end of the river, a clearing spread out and dove into the mouth of a cave.
"Let's see," Bull murmured, "If I was a bunch of wolves, that up there looks like a nice place to set up a lair."
"I mean." I teased over my shoulder, nearly running into Blackwall's ass as he was hunched over, studying the tracks. "You're big enough, if we quartered you right..."
"Bull is only a name, boss, remember that."
"Noted." I laughed. Blackwall's hand came up to silence us. Quiet, we fell beside him and he glared at the ground, his hand hovering over a few tracks. He turned his gaze to Solas and gestured with his chin to draw the elf closer. Curious as always, Solas' ears twitched and he stepped forward, careful of the tracks.
"I see." Solas muttered and hunched down to get a closer look. I didn't bother to inspect them as I couldn't tell a dog's paw from a wolf's, so I knew better than to go sticking my nose where it didn't belong. Solas huffed, "They are strange. I say this might belong to the demon controlling them."
My ears perked up at that and I peered over Blackwall's shoulder, my hand on his pauldron. "What was that?"
"Demon." Blackwall glanced at my hand on his shoulder and then up at him. "Seems our suspicions were right; a demon had taken over the pack."
"Can't we be wrong for once?" I grunted, removing my hand and glancing up at the mouth of the lair. A exhale escaped me and I stepped closer, the men around me quiet. My left hand was dormant, pulsing only with the beat of my heart and not the presence of a rift or a demon. That was unnerving, because if demons could hide among us without detection then we were in serious shit.
"I don't feel anything." My eyes flickered down to my left hand as it came up. The green was muted and the glow gentle. "The Mark is quiet." Solas shared a look with me, concern furrowed his brow and he more than likely came to the same conclusion I did about the hidden demon. The men stayed behind me and my spine iced straight down to my stomach: they waited for my signal.
A harsh puff of my cheeks and I gripped my maul, bringing it over my shoulder in preparation. The sounds of their weapons echoed behind me, the crackle of Solas' magic hummed and a barrier dropped onto our heads. A few steps inward and the stirrings of a growl reached me. Bull spotted the wolf before I did and brought his maul down to snap its mouth shut with a crushing blow.
My palm seared with icy terror and I bolted forward. Blackwall and Solas shouted behind me, but Bull was hot on my heels, following my steps like a blood hound. He was barely in the corner of my vision and with me, he raised his maul to strike where I did as the ground gurgled under us, splitting open.
That poor fucking demon didn't know what the fuck had just happened. Two mauls howled down on its head and the demon tore up like a tsunami, snarling its gapping, ripped maw at us. Half of its body slumped from being shattered. It turned toward me, its anger and rage honed on my Mark. I dodged as a long, green arm slithered toward me. There were more howls as the rest of the pack was called up by the wailing demon. Bull took a mighty step forward and put himself between me and the crackling demon.
"Hey!" Bull snarled. Swiftly, he brought the hooked end of his maul up under the demon's arm and then spun backward with the maul's handle over his shoulder, acting like a lever. A snap hissed through the air and the demon howled again, the wolves coming down from above. With another dodge, I was out of the way of snapping jaws of the canines with enough space to allow Blackwall to sprint between me and the animal that had cornered me. I ducked and crawled on my knees for a second, picking up my maul and standing with it as support.
A blink of blue and an ice bolt struck true, it slammed into the demon's chest. My maul came up again with a kick of my heel on the head of it and spun, it collided with the small of the demon's back. Its neck twisted a full one-eighty degrees and its empty sockets leveled with me, the rows of teeth twitching. A shiver of disgust flashed up my spine and nearly brought my stomach to my mouth with it at the sight. Terrified, I hauled my maul upward and smacked where its jaw should have been.
Its hand snaked out in a flail and caught my left wrist. A vision peppered my eyes with a spark of pin-pricking heat, dark and swirling, smog smothered the ground and screams terrorized my ears. I snarled, shaken by the vision, my teeth clenched tight together, and I shoved my hand forward into its face, my fingers gripped the hollow of its nose and one eye socket. Electricity shot through my arm and numbed my elbow, the Mark in my palm flaring to life with a vicious pulse of energy.
The demon yowled, its body rippled with light, and then dispersed violently, throwing me back. Bull caught me as I stumbled and cradled me against his chest as we hit the ground from the force, his arm coming over my head and face as splatters of the demon and essences of the Fade smothered us. The wolves howled around us, yelping and scattering through the lair. The Mark beat heavily in my palm for a few seconds more and it was then that I realized my chest was heaving, desperately trying to catch air for a solid breath. I held my lungs in place and shut my mouth and nose with a hand, my eyes watering momentarily as control released back into my body. I was shaking like a leaf in the cradle of Bull's body.
"I got her," the giant horned man murmured. My companions had surrounded us at the end of battle and beyond Bull's arm I could spy a worried Warden and a frowning elf. Another sigh shook my lungs, but the heat of Bull's body focused me. Relieved, I patted his chest with the back of my right hand and sighed when he gently relented. Briefly, there was a pregnant pause around us and I looked up to find Bull looking down at me, his head tilted so his good eye was on me.
"I'm good." I coughed into a fist. "I g-guess I can use it on demons, too. U-useful."
"Incredibly." Solas deadpanned. "But something preferably learned under controlled circumstances. That was impossibly reckless, Jaime -"
"I had her back." Bull interrupted. There was a sharp stare between the men and silently, Solas answered him with a ticked brow. There was a rumble from Bull's chest, meeting the challenge. Helplessly, I was trapped against his chest with the one beastly arm of the Qunari. "I'm growing used to it, to reading her. To you, sorry, boss."
"Reading me?" I hiccuped, curious and horrified. It was the last thing anyone wanted to hear from a spy. Bull chuckled and finally, I could breathe as his arm relaxed and rested on his bent knee behind me. Supported by his leg at my back, I was effectively sitting within his lap. Selfishly, I took a moment to soak up the Wall of Fuck Off that surrounded me in the form of Bull's body and allowed my body to recover from the adrenaline. His good eye swiveled back down to me away from Solas.
"Yeah." He chuckled again and nodded his head. "Before, at the first rift, you had this expression that came over your face, and then you ran toward the rift." He gestured with his chin to the burnt spot on the ground where the demon had been seared by my Mark. "Same thing here. There was a moment, like you were frozen in time, and I saw your face change again. So, when you ran - I followed." I stared at him, amazed that in only two encounters, he had a battle-plan set for my recklessness.
Something I didn't even knew I did.
With a swallow, I nodded and held out my hand. Bull hesitated for a moment, but with a smirk, offered his palm to me and I gripped it to lift myself to my feet and out of the protective cage of his body. My hands dusted my ass off and he stood, my maul already in his hand. Nodding, my hand gripped the handle and brought the weapon back up into its holster. The men around me assessed each other, Solas clearly one-sided as Blackwall was new to the group and had not vote for either party.
I cleared my throat, "Let's head back to Elaine and let her know the wolves won't be a problem anymore."
We all needed to have a nice, long chat back at Haven.
Note: FINALLY. It's just a pinch of flavor, but it is a slow-burn romance. Just a touch. A tiny, tiny touch.
