Running On Empty: The Long Road Incoming


We arrived at Haven like a sack of dead rodents. Moldy, rotten-smelling, pale corpses that hadn't seen the light of day in nearly a thousand years. Exaggerations, yeah, but that's what it felt like when the first of the troops spotted us coming up the road and hollered for reinforcements. At the front I kept the soldiers and my party at bay. I knew how badly they wanted to go back to their tents and rest, but the threat of the plague still loomed.

It had been a week and half to get back on horses, and two of my men had succumb to cough and shakes. The only healer among them had been unfamiliar with the plague and I didn't have enough general knowledge to assist them. One man died soon after his coughing started, the other was still hanging on by a thread. At the mouth of Haven, I kept Cullen back with a push of my hands against his chest and told him to get Adan. My lost patrol was quarantined, along with Scout Harding and her men.

Bull, Blackwall, and Vivienne were sectioned off with me in a different tent. Vivienne and Blackwall were given a quick bill of health as most of their bruising had disappeared and they had energy to spare with no other symptoms. Bull had a slight sore throat, but no fever and I hadn't eaten in a few days with my skin turning clammy. Joy. Away my other companions went, Vivienne to assist Solas with the samples I had brought back for Adan and Blackwall to retrieve someone for Bull.

Bull had a healer of his own, a man he called Stitches, and god bless our fucking asses for that man. With a knowing nod from Bull, I divulged as much of my knowledge as I could to Stitches. He would convey the information to Adan and leave me in the clear of where an orphan had learned such things. They were mostly remedies and practices to help contain the spread of the disease. Stitches wrote nothing down and only stared at me as I vomited up my information. Once I was wrung dry, he glanced at Bull and his commander waved him away.

"Stitches will keep your secrets." Bull reassured me from his cot. He sat upright and kept a hot-water bag at the back of his neck. I had my own cot across from him, with six different blankets wrapped around me to keep my body from shivering into oblivion. I felt like an overheated cream-puff. Sticky and gooey in the center with too many layers of pastry wrapped around me. Maybe I was hungry after all? My gaze turned to Bull.

"... thank you." It was all I could think to say after a few beats of silence. Before our trip to the Fallow Mire (and fuck if that didn't feel like months ago rather than a two weeks), we had left on a sour note. Or rather, I had, with our conversation having turned into a desperate plea of not insane. We hadn't touched on it since and I was not keen to open that can of worms just yet.

Weakly, I croaked. "So. How did you get the name The Iron Bull?"

"I picked it." He groused, his voice rough from the bottom of his chest to his tongue. "You know how it is from what I told you, Qunari have no names. Just titles."

"But why specifically Iron Bull?" I prodded, the silence of the tent heavy in my ears.

"This may surprise you, but I really like hitting things." He snorted, his eye landing on me. "Also, it's The Iron Bull, technically. I like having an article at the front. It makes it sound like I'm not even a person, just a mindless weapon, an implement of destruction... That really works for me."

I hesitated. Bull had proven to be anything but a mindless weapon. Even when he fought the guard for the Hand of Korth, he had done so with precision, hadn't taken a step or move out of place without my command. Mindless, certainly not, an implement of destruction, hell yes.

"Why bring that up?" He asked, his gaze having never left my face.

"What's in a name?" I murmured, a sudden strike of Shakespeare's Juliet hitting me from high school. Seriously, the weird shit you remembered at the oddest times. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and all that shit. His head tilted, curious, but once more he didn't push. A sigh escaped through my nose.

"It's... an old play, back... home." I stuttered. We were still in a tent with very thin leather barriers. I kept my voice low, my gaze glued to the ground. "Theater. A woman love-struck with a man, a boy really, from a rival family. What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet."

"Is that a flirt?" Bull teased with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey," I grumbled. A blush shot over my face to my ears. "You smell like your name, fuck off." I had to fight a smile as his face broke out into a grin and a laugh soon followed. The muscles of my lower back and in my shoulders relaxed a fraction. Perhaps our relationship wasn't as strained as I thought it to be, not if I could still make him laugh.

"I dunno, boss. People are gonna talk if they hear that. Bad enough you handed me that maul." He retorted playfully. A blink brought the memory back. I had shoved Korth's massive maul into Bull's hands. The distraction of the Watcher had been a greater concern than a peace-offering to the Qunari.

"Well, it was going to be yours." I retaliated and scrunched my nose at him. "But if you can't handle it, I can give it to Amund. I'm sure he'll be glad to have it." The Watcher had asked about Korth's maul, but at my mention that I had given it to the Qunari, Amund had only laughed and told me it was a fitting 'gift,' whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean.

Both of his eyebrows rose on his forehead. "Amund? Was that the Avvar's name?"

"You do not get to act like an idiot." I threw one of my sweaty rags at him. It landed on a horn and stole a laugh from me. "You knew perfectly well what his name was, fucker."

"Just checking. I'm actually surprised you remember his name, you aren't usually good with those." He pulled the rag from his horn and wrinkled his nose at it, tossing it to a bucket near the flaps of the tent. My gaze narrowed on his face, my mouth tight over my teeth.

"You know, you keep digging that hole and I'm going to bury you in chicken feathers."

"Aw, shit, Krem told you that story?"

I laughed, "Of course he told me that story. Are you kidding? That kid boasts about your like you're his dad, but he's not afraid to give me the shittier details of some of your contracts. Cock on the walk, if I recall." A harder laugh escaped me as a growl came up from his sore throat and broke into a cough.

"Kid needs to learn to keep secrets." Bull grumbled and dragged the hot-water bag from his neck. It must've gone cold already. He stood and moved to leave it in the bucket near the flaps, same as my rag. Instead of returning to his cot afterward, alarm bells rang in the small space of my heart as he made his way over to mine.

"So, now that the small chit-chat is over and the coast is clear, what did you really need to talk about?" He asked once he was seated beside me. The cot was not poor quality, not for the Herald, but goddamn if it didn't bend to his weight the smallest amount. I huddled harder in my blankets and peered up at him, startled.

Suddenly, anything I wanted to bring up had been hard reset from my brain.

"I just," came the stutter with a swallow, "... I dunno." It was a chicken coop of a situation, all shaken up and left in tatters. To be honest with him meant that I laid bare a Murphy's Law of probabilities. The Qunari had only been with us for the better part of two months or so and to trust him with so much meant trouble.

"Walk me through your thought process?" He offered. His head tilted and the tip of one horn nearly brushed the top of the tent. I cast a glance up at it and then his face, but said nothing. His nose flared, "I think I get it."

"I haven't said a damn thing." I muttered with a furrowed brow. My gaze shot to his face accusingly.

"I'm a spy." He answered gently. "You don't have to tell me anything for me to know enough."

"That is not reassuring when my whole life here is based on lies." I snapped from under the cover of my blankets. There was a strange sense of boldness that came from being wrapped up like a burrito. An added layer of protection (that would probably do fuck-all against a determined Qunari) that allowed me to have some sense of focus.

He sighed and stood and walked toward the mouth of the tent and murmured something to a guard. He remained at the entrance of the tent until another shadow appeared from outside and in came the form of Solas, tired and bleary eyed, but awake and healthy.

I blinked and my gaze shot to Bull.

"Something changed with the Mark, back in the Fallow Mire." He began and gestured to my cot for Solas to take while he returned to his own cot across from me. My gaze followed him, alarmed at his speculation. "I saw it. Something worried you, because you took longer to recover from closing the rift."

"Jaime?" Solas peered at me and held his hand out to take my Marked one. Unwanted tears sprung to my eyes at the sound of my name as realization struck that I hadn't heard it in over a month. Perhaps Solas knew me better than expected, the sight of the tears didn't surprise him and he reached up to wipe them away and took my hand to inspect it.

Bull waited for a beat and continued, his voice low. "She managed to close one rift, but there were traps laid by another mage that connected veilfire to summoning demons."

Solas' sharp eyes flashed to Bull. "Similar to a ritual?"

"Not quite." Bull shook his head. I remained quiet, shame flooded my throat. I was not ignorant that it was my place to tell Solas all of this, fuck, it should have been my top priority upon return, but I had been concerned with saving my soldiers and making sure the plague didn't kill them or spread. My eyes shut and more tears fell; I'm still a failure.

"Where there any markings, sigils, or the like nearby?" Solas prodded the Qunari as he rubbed the palm of my hand with his thumbs, a soothing and comforting gesture that only sickened my stomach with more shame and disgrace. Bull's focus retreated from his gaze, dulled as memories filtered before he nodded.

"Actually, yeah. On the pillars there were these markings I could only see when Vivienne had veilfire in her hand near them." Bull answered with a bit of surprise. Solas' brow furrowed and a sigh left my lungs. More shit I missed. Why hadn't I seen that? How the fuck did I miss something like that on the pillars when I knew they were traps?

"That may have been what binds the demons to the veilfire and when it is lit, they have enough energy to come through the weakened Veil." Solas theorized in low tones. His brow pinched over his forehead and his gaze drew down to my Mark before swiftly coming up to my face.

I heard his silent question. "I couldn't sense those things like I can the rifts. I... was using the Mark to disperse the demons with contact."

Solas scowled and held my hand. "I warned you not to use that until we knew the side-effects."

"The side-effects are over-stimulation of the nerves, numbness, and delayed use of my arm. A few minutes at most." My answer was monotone and straight to the point. Tears still slipped down my cheeks, but the blankets hid most of them, at least from Solas. I hoped Bull was too far away to notice them.

"And with the rift?" Solas pressed, my hand still held in his.

I shrugged. "Same as before? The... pain doesn't last as long now. I still hear the spirits and..." Another hesitation. The vision. The one that I had gotten from the Despair demon while it was fighting Vivienne. To tell or not to tell? Lots of misquoted Shakespeare today, my English 101 professor would be so proud.

Solas turned to Bull, "Iron Bull, I think -"

"He knows, so don't bother sending him away." I interrupted weakly. For the first time since this discussion started, Solas' eyes honed on me like a laser, to view me and not just my connection to the Mark. I cleared my throat gently. "He knows my name. That I'm not an orphan. That I'm not from here, but... not from where."

"Jaime," Solas breathed, a lecture at the back of his tongue.

"It doesn't matter." My answer was sour as was my glare. I withdrew my hand so he couldn't use it to coerce me into spilling my guts. "He'll figure it out sooner or later, either because he heard it from me or he stole the information from Leliana or Josephine."

Solas winced and turned to Bull with a hot glare.

"I didn't force it out of her, so back off." Bull answered with a calm twitch of his nose. "She offered the information and I've told no one."

"Your superiors?" Solas accused sharply.

"No one," the Qunari reaffirmed, "I'm not an idiot, Solas. If word got out that she's from a different place, a different world, a different plane of existence, the Qunari would not wait to hit Thedas. She could be anything, in their eyes. A demon disguised as a human, a mage who is powerful enough to make the Breach - you know how much we hate magic."

"She is none of those things." Solas retorted heatedly.

"I know that, now." Bull reassured him with a raised hand. "And I have no doubt that you lot believe it, too, but its easier to convince a small group of people than to convince a sovereign power."

Solas' shoulders stiffened, "We should not be having this discussion here. Let us continue in the War Room." The elf brokered no argument as he took off a few layers of my blankets and bundled me tighter in the ones closest to my body. A shiver still raced through my muscles and I ducked my head as we were led out of the tent, Bull a pace or so behind us. Commander Cullen spied our movement and hastily left his command to his lieutenant before catching up with Bull.

I could feel Solas' sideways glance, the frustration that boiled just under his teeth, but I said nothing and kept my chin tucked to my neck as we walked. Soldiers and civilians stared as we walked by, Varric caught sight of us and took a few steps forward before he stopped. Worry marked his face and I made a mental note to talk to him soon.

The march to the War Room was silent. Leliana saw us from her tent and followed without a word, falling in step with Cullen behind Bull. Josephine was hailed from her room as I was ushered into the War Room, the musty smell of the maps and books a welcoming familiarity in this turbulent storm.

The Hydra gathered in their usual places, Solas beside me where Cassandra would normally stand. Bull off to my right and closer to Josephine. There were a few awkward seconds of silence as I peeled off the blankets. Cullen made a noise in the back of his throat and I remembered the bruises and cauterized wound that scarred my skin, visible through my loose tunic.

"It's fine, Cullen." My voice felt dull. "Vivienne healed it and it's only a small scar."

"Very well," Leliana pressed forward with her eyes on Bull, "may I inquire as to this meeting, Herald?"

"Bull, Mark, Fallow Mire, in that order." I answered sourly. An inhale settled in my lungs for a moment. "... I told him some of my story." The response was immediate. Leliana and Cullen's faces grew dark and wary, their gazes flashing to Bull to assess the new possibility of danger. Josephine was less bloodthirsty than the other Heads, but she nonetheless stiffened and raised her chin.

"How much?" Cullen asked tightly.

"Enough that I can speculate." Bull answered for himself. The Hydra turned toward him and he was none the more worried for it. "She's too educated to be an orphan all her life, less wild and more civil like a noble, her dialect is obscure at best, and some of the civilians were more than willing to talk about the strange clothes she appeared in."

I winced, fucking more evidence that we didn't think to cover. Christ.

"And to cut it at the head right now, no," he continued, his gaze leveled with Leliana, "no messages, secret or otherwise, have been sent to my superiors about the information. The minute they find out, you'll have an invasion on your hands."

"I thought as much." Leliana sighed, her arms behind her back.

"Herald, why would you... share this pertinent information without discussing it with us first?" Josephine tsk'ed disapprovingly. A flare of anger scraped along the inside of my throat and I narrowed my eyes at her. She hadn't meant it with complete accusation, but fuck if it didn't burn like one.

"Personal privilege." I snarled quietly. "And he had already figured out some of it before I even touched the subject with him, so I figured it was pertinent he know enough so as not to accuse me of insanity." Josephine reeled at my tone and blinked hard at my expression. She cleared her throat and moved to answer, but Leliana was swifter.

"A wise decision." Leliana agreed with a nod. "Truth, even omitted parts, is better than a lie. I wondered how long we would be able to keep it from you. I suppose not very long at all."

"I'm good at my job." Bull muttered. "I also realize how dangerous this information is. Word gets out, the Inquisition loses all creditability. Doesn't matter what she's accomplished, it'll all go up in flames."

"The Andraste reference is not appreciated." Josephine remarked, lips tight over her teeth.

Bull blinked, and then snorted. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm as willing as you all are to keep it secret. The Inquisition is the only organization right now that's doing anything about the Breach."

"You do not believe the Qunari would be just as capable?" Solas stung viciously from my other side.

"The Qunari coming here under force is a bad idea." Bull shot back over my head. "I don't think anyone wants a repeat of Kirkwall."

"No." Cullen interjected with a glare at Bull. "No, we don't."

Bull raised a hand to calm him, "That, and the freedoms you give the boss would be gone. She's... she'd be considered a tool. Plain and simple. They'd escort her to rifts, but she wouldn't have any command, not like she has here. You do know how demoralizing that would be to your people, right?"

"I've theorized, yes." Leliana answered with another nod. "Even if we managed to work with the Qunari, if it was not on equal terms, she'd be caged much like your saarebas. Those in the Inquisition would revolt, there would be chaos."

"And we hate that just about as much as we hate magic." Bull agreed with a snort. "I'm not asking to be let in on every secret meeting you have, it's just a precaution to warn you that I know."

"It will be taken into account." Cullen muttered through clenched teeth. His nose pinched over his mouth as he exhaled roughly and turned to me. The focus had ping-ponged over my head for a while now and I was not keen to interrupt it. I had never seen anyone aside from Cassandra take on all three Hydra Heads at the same time and it was damn impressive.

"Herald." Cullen called my attention. "The Mark?"

"It's been changing for a while now." I answered dully and pulled up my loose sleeve to give my Mark visibility. I turned my eyes to Solas. "I can sense the demons, if they're close enough, like I can the rifts before they open."

"You can do that?" Josephine sparked with surprise. "Was that always possible?"

"I do not believe so." Solas answered for me, his eyes between my Mark and Josephine. "Jaime mentioned that before, during our trek up to the Temple, she couldn't sense anything from the Fade, but after the Breach was closed, the sensations became stronger."

"The first rift I closed after that was at Lake Luthias, after recruiting Blackwall." I continued and cleared my throat. My gaze flickered between the Hydra Heads. "It was then that I could - that I figured out I could feel the rift before it tore open, and I could hear the spirits before they fell through the tear."

"Then it's not a willing transition?" Leliana questioned quickly. "Are they only spirits that are pulled through due to unfortunate timing?" I hesitated and glanced at Bull. The Qunari appeared confused, his brow pinched together. My lips pressed together and an exhale shot through my nose.

"No." I replied slowly. Solas and Leliana's gazes pinned me. "Not all of them. Some of them are already demons when they come through."

"That one big beastie." Bull exhaled roughly. "It was already a demon and forced its way through?"

"What are you talking about?" Solas demanded with a low tone. He turned to me, his expression tight over his face. "Jaime?" With another sigh, I reached for pieces of parchment. Again, as it had been so many months ago, my Hydra hurried to produce the items I needed. Hastily, I drew what I could remember of the creature.

"It's not perfect." I hadn't practiced drawing in all the time I was here, aside from my crude map of Earth. "It was dark and I had a Despair demon to contend with, but this thing was attacking Bull and Blackwall."

"What is that?" Cullen leaned over, his hand on the pommel of his sword. Leliana tilted her head to inspect it, being the closest, and Josephine shuffled to Cullen's side to peer at my half-assed drawing of the towering creature that left claw marks on Bull's back.

"A Revenant." Solas murmured disbelievingly. He turned his eyes to me. "In the Fallow Mire, where there corpses around?" The Iron Bull and I shared a hard snort. Solas focused his momentary glare over my head at the Qunari and waited for my reply with a sigh.

"That was the other part." I answered wearily. "The Fallow Mire seems to be diseased with a plague I recognize from my world. We called it the bubonic plague."

"Cause and symptoms?" Leliana's face went hard at her question. My focus shifted to her, the conversation had already derailed in multiple ways, I might as well keep with the thread I had created.

"Bubonic is caused by infected blood of an animal being transmitted through ticks or mites to a human." I dipped my head and scratched at the back of my neck as I recalled the information. "Usually that's how it spreads, but this seems like a mutated form, a pneumonic plague, passed through other fluids like water or spit, with no need for ticks or some such."

"According to the Avvar Watcher that was with us, the symptoms are cough, fever, chest pains, bloody mucus, shortness of breath and then death." Bull continued, stepping a pace closer to my side. I tilted my head up at him and he glanced at me with his one eye, to which I answered with a shake of my head; continue.

"The plague seems to survive in a host for ten days." Bull added, nodding to me. "The boss also mentioned that boils or warts appear in specific areas. Stitches will have that information, and he'll pass it along to Adan."

"Good." Leliana sighed, her soul heavy under her ribs. "It was worse than we feared, then. Scout Harding had mentioned that the village had died off, we hoped it would have contained the disease."

"Nope," I interjected, "Plague doesn't care. It'll incubate. Pass along through animals. Those bog-pig-things we saw that you'll find in the bestiary? They are probably resistant to the disease, but will still carry it. Best not to hunt them for food."

"Noted." Cullen ran a hand down his face, scratching hard at his chin. "What a nightmare. What does that have to do with the Revenant, Solas?" Like a television camera, our gazes shifted to the elf who had his brow deep over his eyes and nose in thought.

"A Revenant is usually a demon of Pride or Desire that takes possession of a corpse." His gaze shot up to Cullen as if warning the man. "Something that powerful to come through and still have enough energy to possess and reanimate a corpse is deadly indeed. If there are any more in the area, further exploration will have to be extremely cautious."

"Hell the fuck no." I interrupted hotly. Several pairs of eyes landed on me and my gaze bounced between Leliana and Cullen. "No one else goes to the Fallow Mire. Not with the disease. The traps were sprung, but the mage is still around and could reset them. No one else but me goes back there."

"You came back half-dead, Herald." Solas muttered disapprovingly. My heels rocked back to draw my spine to its full length and I stared at my companion. He said no more, but his eyes were stern on my face. I took note that I had been tilted Herald and not Jaime.

"Exaggeration," I breathed, attempting to remain calm, "no one else. I can deal with the demons and the mage. But for now, let's focus on recovery and the Storm Coast. There was only one rift in the Mire, from what I could sense." Solas looked keen to argue, his mouth twisted over his teeth and under his nose, but he only exhaled and neutralized, standing with his hands behind his back.

I'm not one-hundred percent sure that it was a victory, but I would take it.

Cullen nodded, watching the tension between me and Solas. "Let's get you rested, then, and we'll have a company set up to travel with you to the Coast in a week's time."

"Thank you." I tucked my tunic closer, folds of fabric tucked under my arms, and turned to leave. It was colder in that War Room than it was outside.

Bull dutifully followed me out.


Note: So I have been wondering for a while if anyone would like snippets of moments unseen for this story. Not from Jaime's POV, but from her companions. Anyone want to suggest a scene from the previous chapters? Let me know.