One more chapter to finish off the week, and before I go off on holiday! I hope you enjoy this one!
During their stay at Beorn's house, Arinna discovered some strange but fascinating things about the skin-changer's way of living. He seemed to be entirely self-sufficient. There were many animals living on his lands, not just ponies and goats but also many dogs, sheep, and the air buzzed with the sound of huge bumblebees, larger than any the druid had ever seen. She had found that she felt rather at peace here, enveloped in the strange calm and safety that hung over Beorn's house.
Arinna spent the days with different members of the company, trying to make her still rather foul mood less obvious, as she discussed different topics with Balin in the evenings, or listened to one of Bofur's many stories. Though she mainly found herself exploring the vast garden with Bilbo. The hobbit felt as comfortable here as she did, the peaceful green space filling him with a sense of home. He had even collected an acorn, which he intended to take home with him and plant in his own garden after the journey was over. It was only at night that the peaceful spell broke, for Beorn had warned them not to venture outside after nightfall. This was the time that he roamed the borders of his lands in the form of the great black bear, and he could not guarantee their safety if he came across them.
At the moment, the druid was sat comfortably enjoying the sun on Beorn's porch steps, leaning against the bannister beside her while she was concentrating on the pages of a book on herbs that she had borrowed from the skin-changer's living room. It was as large as one would expect for a man of his size, covering her entire lap as she turned the pages carefully. Arinna looked up when she felt someone sitting down beside her, coming face to face with Kili.
"Good book?" The dwarf asked with a friendly smile and Arinna nodded slightly, her eyebrows drawing together as she looked at him. She could tell that he was not here to talk about books and Kili confirmed her thoughts when he continued, trying to sound nonchalant. "So, how much longer will it be before you decide to talk to my brother again?"
The druid sighed quietly and carefully closed her book. Her gaze shortly drifted toward the spot where some of the dwarves were training, along with Bilbo, a little distance away on the grass. She could not see the blond dwarf among them. It had been four days now since she had last spoken a word to Fili, and he to her, the last time having been their fight by the stream.
"I would give it a while," she simply said with a pointed look toward the brunet dwarf.
"I'm only asking. You know it's not my way to butt into matters that are none of my business," Kili continued, halting shortly at the doubtful look the druid shot him and tilting his head in return. "Well, fine, perhaps that's precisely my way. My point is, that I am asking you because I can see that this… silence between the two of you bothers both you and my brother. And I really don't understand what happened there. You two got along wonderfully until a few days ago."
Arinna looked at Kili silently for a long time, the young dwarf merely returning her gaze questioningly before she finally sighed and began telling him in short words what their fight had been about, knowing that Kili would not back down before he got an answer. He was, annoyingly, much like his older brother that way. The brunet dwarf listened carefully as she spoke, his brows furrowing as he slowly began to understand. He was looking at her seriously when she finished her story with a small shrug, trying to signal that it wasn't that important.
"Let me tell you something about my brother, Arinna," Kili then said thoughtfully, smiling slightly at the druid. "Now, don't tell him I said this, but the two things I admire most about Fili are his honour and his bravery. He's always looked out for other people, and he's always stood up for those he thinks need help. Whether it be for me when we were but dwarflings in the Ered Luin, and he had to get me out of all the trouble that I kept getting myself into, or whether it be his friends, family or even complete strangers. Now, you might think that's reckless, and perhaps you're right, but it is an essential part of who he is. He can't change it. You'll never see Fili back down from a fight, even if he's injured, even if he stands no chance of winning, if it concerns the people he… he cares about."
"I understand that," Arinna sighed, inclining her head at the dwarf's words while Kili just kept smiling kindly at her. "Really, Kili, I do. And I realise that perhaps I was being a little irrational, it's just that…"
"You worry about him," the dwarf finished for her when she trailed off, nodding. "I understand. I do, too. And the same goes for Fili, himself. He worries about me all the time, about you, no doubt, about the others. It's perfectly normal considering the nature of our quest. But I don't think that we should let ourselves be held back by that fear. I think the best and perhaps only thing to do is to just be brave and to look out for one another as best we can."
"But I do not want him to risk his life, especially if it is for me," Arinna answered in a small murmur. "If he thinks I cannot protect myself, then it is not up to him to do so."
"Have you not risked your life for him much the same way?" Kili asked her, shaking his head slightly. "Arinna, my brother can be a stubborn idiot. He says things in anger that he does not mean and his pride will keep him from admitting it for a little while. I think it might be a family trait, actually."
Kili grinned at the small snort that escaped the druid at his words, before he continued. "He knows very well that you're capable, we all do. But it won't change the fact that he will always come to your aid if he can. It's just who he is."
The druid looked up at Kili, frowning slightly at the soft look that was playing on his face. She could not tell what the dwarf was thinking as he gave her a gentle smile and she said nothing for a few long moments, considering Kili's words. She knew that he was right, and that she couldn't really expect Fili, or any of them, to back down from a fight in the face of life or death. She wouldn't either, much as the blond dwarf had pointed out a few days ago and Kili had reminded her just now. She knew that she was being unreasonable, but she had just been so angry with him, Arinna thought tiredly. She had let her feelings take over, perhaps taking his words too much to heart when he had said that she couldn't protect herself.
"Maybe you're right, Kili," she finally muttered, shaking her head slightly. She looked up at him then, a small smile playing on her lips as she gave his shoulder a friendly nudge. Kili returned her smile brightly. "I'll try and attempt reconciliation with your brother."
"I'm happy to hear it, Arinna. And you won't tell him…" Kili reminded her with a playful wiggle of his finger. Arinna laughed.
"And I won't tell him about all the nice things you say about him behind his back. Though perhaps I'll mention the part about him being a stubborn idiot."
She chuckled at the hearty laugh that escaped the brunet dwarf at her words, smiling as he slung one arm over her shoulder, hugging her to his side.
Meanwhile, Fili had found himself a practice spot far away from the others. He was in a foul mood, had been for the past four days, and just wanted to be by himself. He did not have the nerve for the happy chatter and talk of the others at the moment and so he was currently stood under the cover of a few large oak trees, practicing his knife throws. It wasn't as though he much needed the practice, for every throw he made hit its mark with deadly force, it was more so that he had something to do with his hands, an outlet for his growing frustration.
He had spent the past four days trying not to think about the druid and their fight, which had resulted in him barely being able to think about anything else. He was still angry that she had called him reckless, when all he did had been to try to stay alive and protect his friends and family. And her. Did she expect him to stand by and watch her get hurt? Fili still remembered the feeling of her unconscious, bleeding body in his arms as he had carried her into Rivendell. He didn't think he could bear a repeat of that. He let out a frustrated growl at the thought, throwing another dagger at the tree before him.
"So," a voice sounded from behind him suddenly, making the blond dwarf jump slightly as he whirled around. Bofur was waving at him merrily, leaning against a nearby tree. Fili wondered for a moment how long he had been standing there already. "I hear you and Arinna have been arguing."
Fili drew his brows together, surprised at his friend's unexpected and blunt choice of topic. He turned and walked up to his practice target, proceeding to pull out three knives from the tree. "Who told you?" He asked.
"She did," Bofur answered matter-of-factly, causing Fili's hand to halt on the hilt of the last dagger for a few seconds before he ripped it out forcefully. Of course, she was talking to Bofur. Apparently, she was talking to anyone as long as it wasn't him. "Care to talk about it?"
"No."
Bofur ignored Fili's reply thoroughly, continuing to talk over the blond dwarf as he stalked back toward him. "Well, the way I see it, there's only two things for it. You can either not talk to each other until we reach Erebor, which, frankly, will be exhausting for all of us, or one of you will have to apologise to the other about whatever it is that has both your knickers in a twist."
"I'm not going to apologise for telling her the truth," Fili grumbled angrily, and Bofur looked at him curiously, tilting his head in question. "If she can't handle it, then she shouldn't be on this journey."
"You don't mean that," Bofur said.
"I do mean it," stated the young prince with a huff. Fili halted in his words for a moment, before he suddenly couldn't stop himself. He continued to tell Bofur a short and swift version of what had transpired between himself and the druid a few days ago, feeling himself grow angry again as the fight rose afresh before his inner eye. Bofur gave him a pointed look when he had finished, both of them now sitting down in the grass opposite each other, while Fili was playing mindlessly with one of his knives.
"Well, it sounds to me," the hatted dwarf spoke slowly, trying to choose his words carefully while he was confronted with Fili's dark gaze. "As though you're both coming from the same place."
Fili just frowned and Bofur continued, refraining from rolling his eyes at the young prince. "You're fighting about who is more reckless, like the stubborn fools you are. But you're both just worried for each other, Fili. Which is perfectly understandable. Arinna's worried that if you keep risking your life, perhaps the next time you get shot by an arrow, it won't just be your shoulder, and she won't be able to help you. And you're worried that the next time we're faced with danger, she might not make it through."
Bofur looked at the dwarf before him, who said nothing, as he continued. "I don't see why that should be a bad thing, though. Perhaps Arinna lacks some of your experience, or isn't as skilled with her weapons as some of the others, who have a hundred years' worth of advance on her. But she's proven herself a capable fighter. And you know that, of course, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself right now, much less to her."
"She's been lucky so far," Fili said but Bofur shook his head.
"Luck may be part of it, but she knows how to use her sword. And her bow. And her fists, for that matter."
"So, you're saying I should just… let her run to her death the next time," Fili retorted with a raised eyebrow as he looked at Bofur doubtfully.
"Don't be thick, Fili," the hatted dwarf scoffed, continuing before Fili had a chance to defend himself. "You know what I mean. I'm saying that neither of you will change your ways, so you might as well get over yourself. But if it would ease your mind, you can always help her to improve her skills, like you did with the dagger. You know, instead of telling her that they are useless."
Fili inclined his head, letting out a low breath. Perhaps Bofur was right and he should just try and make up with the druid. He knew that he had been too harsh with her and that he had said some things that he did not truly mean. He knew that Arinna could protect herself, he had seen it with his own eyes. And yet that didn't make him feel any better at the thought of her rushing into another fight. All the training in the world probably wouldn't make him feel better about it, he thought. But he also knew that he couldn't avoid her running into danger. Fili didn't know what the rest of their journey would bring but he was sure that they hadn't yet seen the last of Azog and his troop.
"Fili?"
"I would just much rather know her safe," the blond dwarf sighed finally, looking up at Bofur who was nodding his understanding, though there was a strange look playing on his face as he listened. "I would have had her stay in Rivendell, with the Elves even, if it meant that she was kept from any more harm."
"Understandable," Bofur said kindly. "But she's not the kind of woman to be left behind or hide herself away."
Fili couldn't help but smile wryly. "No, indeed she's not," he agreed quietly, lost in his own thoughts for a moment as his gaze rested on the grass beneath his feet, and not noticing the look that Bofur shot him. The blond dwarf jerked out of his thoughts at Bofur clearing his throat and he looked back up, nodding slowly.
"Aye," he said with another deep sigh, making up his mind. "You're probably right. Yes, you're right. I'll talk to her. Thank you, Bofur."
"My pleasure, lad," Bofur smiled as he got up slowly, brushing his hands down his legs to get rid of some stray blades of grass. "And if ye wouldn't mind, I would do it tonight. Because otherwise I might still loose my coin to your brother."
Bofur grinned as Fili raised one disgruntled eyebrow at him. He should have known that these two were up to something, though it did not diminish the truth of Bofur's advice.
While Fili did intend to talk to the druid at the next possible opportunity, he seemed to keep missing her all day. Indeed, he didn't actually see her at all until that evening, when the company was sat around the fireplace in Beorn's house. They had finished dinner a little while ago and were now discussing their plans, for they had agreed that they would leave the next day.
"You need to reach the mountain before the last days of autumn?" Beorn was asking in a deep rumble and Thorin nodded in reply.
"Before Durin's Day falls, yes," he agreed. The skin-changer raised his eyebrows slightly.
"You are running out of time," he concluded and Thorin nodded again, though it was this time Gandalf that answered the large man.
"Which is why we must go through Mirkwood," the wizard said. "We'll make for the road tomorrow morning. If your offer of lending us some of your ponies still stands."
Beorn nodded slowly. "It does. But the path through Mirkwood is a perilous one. A darkness lies upon that forest. Fell things creep beneath those trees. There is an alliance between the Orcs of Moria and the Necromancer in Dol Guldur. I would not venture there except in great need."
"We will take the Elven Road," Gandalf explained, as the skin-changers words echoed in his thoughts. "That path is still safe."
"Safe?" The skin-changer huffed, slightly shaking his head at the wizard. "The Wood-Elves of Mirkwood are not like their kin. They're less wise and more dangerous. They will stop you if they find you venturing into their realm."
"I don't doubt it," Thorin said darkly. "I know their deceitful nature. But it matters not. The orcs will outrun us on the open road. We have no choice but to go through the forest if we are to reach the mountain in time."
Beorn nodded seriously, knowing that the dwarf was right. While the skin-changer continued discussing quietly with the wizard and Thorin, the others began small conversations between themselves, some already moving off to pack their things for the morning. Fili was sat listening to Nori talk about the journey ahead with half an ear, his attention elsewhere as his eyes followed Arinna. The druid had stood and made her way to the stable where they had slept for the past few days, no doubt to pack up her few belongings.
"Don't you think so?"
Fili blinked and looked over at Nori upon his question, not knowing what he had just been asked his opinion on. The red-haired dwarf shot him a doubtful look. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Aye," Fili said quickly, though he saw that Nori could tell he was lying. He cleared his throat quickly, excusing himself as he got up, intending to find Arinna and have a word with her. "I'll see you later, Nori."
While his companion just nodded, Fili turned away and followed after the druid. He had made it halfway through the living room, when he heard his uncle's voice behind him. He turned back around with a low sigh and an asking look on his face.
"Fili," Thorin waved him over quietly but with authority. He was sitting with Dwalin, Balin and Kili now, who were all looking over at the blond dwarf as well. "Come, we have a few things still to discuss for the journey ahead."
Fili opened his mouth to protest, to ask if it couldn't wait, or if perhaps this was a discussion that he did not need to be included in, but he said nothing at the sight of the expectant look on his uncle's face. He knew the answer he would get, and so he shot one last look toward the door where the druid had disappeared, before he slowly made his way over to the small group. He sat down beside his brother, not noticing the knowing look Kili gave him. Instead, his gaze was set on Thorin, as the dwarf-king spoke of the necessary provisions they'd have to take to last them through their time in the forest. The blond dwarf listened as attentively as he could, while his thoughts kept circling back to Arinna, though he did not get another chance that evening to speak with her at all.
She came back eventually after having packed up her things, while he was still discussing things with his uncle, and sat down at the fire for a little while. Fili glanced over from time to time to see her talking quietly with Bilbo and Ori, noticing how the firelight made small shadows dance on her face and the warm light reflected in her emerald eyes as she listened attentively to her companions. She went to bed not long after, and when Fili finally made it to the stable later on, he saw her already asleep, lying curled up against the hay.
