I'm back from holidays with a longer chapter for you guys. Thanks to Lady-Finwe and purple-pygmy-puff16 for your reviews, I'm so happy you're enjoying this story! I'd love to read from you again.
When morning came, Fili was more determined than ever to put things right with Arinna, looking for the right moment between the hustle and bustle of the company getting ready for departure and not finding it. The sun had barely risen as they packed the provisions and supplies that Beorn provided, saddling the ponies that he was lending them.
"There are only thirteen," Thorin was saying as he held one of the black and white ponies by the reins. Beorn gave a short nod.
"Thirteen of my fastest ponies and a horse for the wizard are all that I can spare, Master Dwarf," the skin-changer said, his gruff tone of voice shutting down any protest that Thorin might have had. The dwarf-king, grateful for any help they were getting, merely inclined his head in acceptance and thanks before he looked around, trying to decide who would have to share a pony.
"Bilbo, Arinna," he called, finding the two of them standing close together. They both looked up at him upon hearing his voice. "You're the lightest. You'll ride together with someone else. Bilbo, go with Bofur, and Arinna -"
"She can ride with me," he suddenly heard someone say and looked up to find Fili, already mounted on a pony, nodding his head almost hastily. The dwarf-king's brows furrowed slightly at his nephew's quick offer, though he did not have time to unpack his thoughts on it at that moment. Thorin had noticed of course that the two of them had spent much less time together recently, apparently having stopped their training in the evenings altogether. Their combined foul moods had been almost impossible to ignore for any of the companions. Perhaps they had finally settled their differences, whatever they might have been, Thorin thought, and was glad for it. He could not use his companions fighting among themselves. He finally gave Fili a curt nod, before he mounted his own steed.
Arinna looked up at the blond dwarf in surprise as he rode up beside her, holding out his hand for her to get up onto the pony's back. Of all people, she would not have counted on him volunteering to have her ride with him. She hadn't gotten around to talking to him yet, and so she didn't think he would be much in the mood to be in her company. But she slowly took his outstretched hand anyway and he heaved her up behind him with little effort. The druid's hands automatically grabbed hold of the sides of Fili's coat to steady herself as the pony began trot after the others, the company riding away from Beorn and the safety of his place.
Fili and Arinna rode silently for a long time, while the others chatted on cheerfully around them. Both of them were thinking and wanting to say something to the other but not finding the right words, until they suddenly both spoke at the same time.
"Fili -"
"Listen -"
They both stopped in surprise at the sound of the other's voice and Arinna took a small breath, thinking about what to say for a moment. Fili continued before she had managed to gather her thoughts.
"I'm sorry about what I said to you the other day," the blond dwarf said quietly, as he slowed the pace of their pony slightly, not particularly wanting to alert the others to their conversation as they fell to the end of the group. Arinna could do nothing but silently stare at his back as he spoke. "I didn't mean what I said about you not being able to protect yourself. I know you can take care of yourself, in a battle or otherwise, and it's something I find very admirable about you. It's just that… well, it's just that sometimes I wish you wouldn't have to. I want you to be safe and you can't be while you're on this journey with us. But that's something that I cannot change and I certainly wouldn't want to not have you around. And as for what you said… I do appreciate you looking out for me but I will not stand down from a fight, no matter if -"
"I know, Fili," the druid interrupted him softly and the dwarf's eyebrows rose in surprise at her unexpectedly amicable tone. He heard her sigh behind him as he steered the pony down a hill, feeling her adjust her position behind him slightly. She took a few moments to find the right words. "That is also something that neither you nor I can change. It was unfair of me to expect you to back down when the people around you were in danger. I would have done the same thing as you. In fact, I did do the same thing as you. It was wrong to call you reckless for it. It's just that I don't want you getting hurt because you're trying to protect me… I was worried, is all. I'm sorry."
She heard Fili hum quietly, the sound vibrating through his torso as he accepted her words with a small nod. The druid smiled, happy that they had been able to resolve their issues so easily after the days of stubborn silence. Though she couldn't help but feel slightly foolish that they hadn't tried to reconcile sooner and that it had taken Kili's push to get her to do so. She had missed the easy conversation she and Fili usually had, the way he managed to make her smile even when her mind was occupied otherwise. Even his sometimes smug grin had been something she'd missed, Arinna thought with a small shake of her head, while she unconsciously wrapped her arms tighter around the dwarf's middle.
"Forgive and forget?" She asked quietly, and Fili couldn't help his own smile when he felt her hold tighten around his stomach, her hands moving from his sides to his front and linking together over his coat as she held on to him. He felt her drop her chin on his shoulder as she gave him a sideways look and he let go of the reins with one hand for a moment, putting it over her smaller one and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"There is nothing to forgive," he answered her in a low murmur, his thumb brushing over the soft skin of her hand for a second, before he let go and grabbed hold of the reins once more, kicking his heels slightly into the pony's sides to catch up with the rest of the company, relief filling him at the resolution of their argument. He did not think that he could have taken much more of the silence between them.
The journey to Mirkwood was a little under a day's ride and as they travelled with speed, they reached the forest just as the sun was slowly beginning to set that evening. Fili slowed the pony to a stop as they approached the looming, gloomy-looking trees that marked the edge of what had once been known as the Greenwood. Arinna dismounted quickly behind him and Fili followed her lead, watching for a few moments as she made her way toward an ancient archway that led into the forest. He stayed behind to untie their packs from the pony's saddle, his gaze shortly set on the form of the tall wizard as he made his way over to the druid, before he concentrated on his task at hand.
"The Elven Gate," Gandalf announced, coming to stand next to Arinna as he looked down the path that led into the forest. "Here lies our path through Mirkwood. Set the ponies loose! Let them return to their master."
Arinna looked up at the wizard while the dwarves did as they were told behind them. She could feel that something was amiss, noticing the distant look in Gandalf's eyes. She turned her gaze back to the trees. "This forest feels sick, Gandalf, as if a disease lies upon it."
The wizard gave a small nod, acknowledging her words, though he remained silent. Arinna sighed, her knowing gaze drifting toward the grey wizard. "You won't be coming with us, will you?" She asked quietly and now Gandalf's eyes turned to her.
"No," he sighed in reply, shaking his head slightly as he gave her a soft smile. "No, I must go South. It is the news that Radagast has brought me, and something that Beorn has said. There are questions occupying my thoughts that need answers. And unfortunately, it cannot wait."
Arinna inclined her head, accepting his words silently. She knew that no unimportant matter could have drawn Gandalf away from them at this point in their quest, so she did not try to argue, though concern still filled her heart at the prospect of continuing on without him.
"Leave my horse! I need it," the wizard called to the dwarves then, who sent him confused looks, before he turned back to the druid beside him. Arinna was looking up at him with worried eyes, and Gandalf reached out to pat her shoulder lightly. "Do not fret, my dear Arinna. We will see each other again before this journey is over. You are right, this is not the Greenwood of old. The very air of the forest is heavy with illusion. It will seek to enter your minds and lead you astray. You must make sure that nobody leaves the path, Arinna."
"How can I make sure of that?" The druid asked doubtfully, feeling her concern rise at the wizard's words. "How can you be sure that I will not also be led astray?"
"You have magic within you," Gandalf answered kindly, smiling with encouragement. "And are therefore less susceptible to its influence. The dwarves are not, and neither is Bilbo. This forest holds many dangers for them, though you should not underestimate it. Magic may give you some protection, but there are other things lurking behind these trees. There is also a river in the woods that carries a dark enchantment. They mustn't touch the water, Arinna. Under no circumstance."
He waited until the druid gave him a small nod, taking in his words silently and mulling them over in her head, before he turned away from her and walked to his horse, calling out to the dwarves as he prepared to ride off. "I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me. You must stay on the path; do not leave it. If you do, you will never find it again!"
The company watched as the wizard turned his horse around and rode away swiftly, his retreating form calling out to them one last time. "No matter what may come, STAY ON THE PATH!"
The dwarves stood dumbly for a few moments after the wizard's departure, until Thorin called for them to hurry up and gather their things. They quickly set the ponies on their way back to Beorn, before they shouldered their packs and marched after the dwarf-king, following him into the trees.
"So, do you think he wants us to stay on the path, or no?" Fili heard Kili mutter beside him and couldn't help but laugh quietly at his brother's sarcastic tone. The brunet dwarf shot him a cheeky look before they got in line with the rest of the company, who were now trailing slowly through the Elven Gate deeper into the forest.
Fili was surprised at how fast the light seemed to vanish around them after they had entered Mirkwood. Though it had already been evening when they had stepped into the forest, they kept going for a fairly long while still, while some light still flickered through the tree tops above them. But soon they were forced to stop, unable to see the Elven path in the growing darkness. They made camp in a smaller circle than usual, careful to stay as close to the path as possible. However, they were still somewhat cheerful when Oin and Gloin lit a small fire for supper but it soon had to be put out, as masses of large moths and critters were drawn to the flame. Instead of a proper supper, they ate bread and other things that didn't need cooking in the dark.
As the days continued in the same way and the company's mood dropped, Fili felt his head grow heavier with every day that passed and that led them further into the depths of the forest. He soon struggled to know what time of day it was and after a while, he didn't even actually remember how many days had passed since they had first entered Mirkwood. They kept following the Elven road as it wound its way through the trees, Arinna now often at the head of the group together with Dwalin and Thorin as she tracked the path. She somehow seemed to be least affected by the strange lull of the forest. The dwarves, on the other hand, grew more troubled with every passing day, strange thoughts entering their minds and numbing their senses.
After a while, Fili kept thinking he saw eyes in the dark behind the tree line, watching him. And then other times he could have sworn he saw a pale, translucent figure following alongside him from the corner of his eyes, but whenever he spun around to look, there was only darkness staring back at him. He looked around, though no one else seemed to have noticed anything. He tried to shake off the uneasy feeling that crept up his spine as he walked along, stumbling over a root and almost falling, before he managed to catch himself. None of them spoke much as they made their way through the trees, and Fili kept his eyes firmly on the ground for the rest of the day, until Thorin called for camp not long after the same evening, choosing Gloin and himself to keep watch that night.
Again, no fire was lit that night, and it was already long past midnight when Thorin was sitting awake with his back against a tree. His left hand rested on his knee, while the other was wrapped around the hilt of his sword, as it had been every night that he had taken watch since they had entered the forest. He had taken watch duty upon himself more often than usual the past days - or had it been weeks? - for he barely slept anyway. Yellow eyes kept staring at the company from the darkness, lurking, biding their time. Thorin knew that whatever animals were watching them in the dark were only waiting for an opportunity to jump on them at an inattentive moment.
He heard something rustle the leaves to his left, his hand gripping his sword tighter as he swivelled his head around at the sound. He was already poised to strike when he realised that its origin had been a member of his company and not one of the mysterious creatures. Thorin tried to squint through the darkness, finding a familiar figure sitting up with a sigh beside him.
"You should be asleep," he murmured, the grip on his sword relaxing.
Arinna looked over at the dwarf-king's low voice, his words a deep rumble that was pleasantly distracting from the strange sounds that came from the darkness around them. "I cannot."
"Aye," Thorin replied unsurprised. "I doubt any of the others are sleeping soundly."
"It's these damned eyes," the druid agreed quietly beside him, feeling a shudder run down her spine. "I do not feel safe in this forest. It is… strange. Wrong, somehow. And so are the creatures that inhabit it. Gandalf warned me about it but it is worse than I imagined."
Thorin couldn't help a small sigh of his own, the truth of her words undeniable. He shot a small glance over to her, seeing her pull her blanket closer around her shoulders in the dark. The nights were already cold, the dwarf-king dreaded to think what it would be like without a fire in the forest with autumn advancing steadily. He cleared his throat. "What has the wizard told you?"
"That the forest is sick," Arinna told him freely, her voice a soft murmur. Thorin listened carefully, slightly annoyed that Gandalf had not deemed it worthy telling himself about these things. "He said that the very air here is heavy with illusion and that it will seek to enter your minds and lead you astray."
"You do not include yourself in this?" The dwarf-king asked curiously, his gaze drifting across the tree line and over his sleeping companions.
Arinna let out a small hum beside him, before she answered. "It does not affect me as much as it does the rest of you."
Thorin let her words sink in for a few moments, his eyes roaming over his company again. He knew the druid's words to be true. He had noticed these past few days how his companions had gotten more muddled in their heads, they were often confused and seemed to see things that weren't there. And so did he, he admitted to himself. His thoughts were now often hazy, and he found it hard to concentrate on the continuation on the Elven path, which is why he was letting the druid lead them more often than not. Thorin had realised already that her head seemed to be clearer than those of the others, that they could rely on her to lead them the right way.
"I am glad you are here, Arinna," he finally said, slightly to his own surprise, for he had not meant to utter his thoughts aloud. But he was there now, and so he might as well be truthful with her, he thought, as he looked over and saw her head turned toward him. "You have proven yourself a loyal companion. Without you, I fear, we would already have lost our way."
There was a momentary silence between them before Thorin continued thoughtfully, his voice low and carrying a quiet curiosity. "I have often wondered why Gandalf suggested you," he admitted. "And at times I wasn't sure that it was the right choice to let you sign that contract. But I see now that the wizard had good reason and I am grateful."
"Thank you, Thorin," Arinna answered softly, slightly taken aback but touched by the dwarf's kind words. "It is my honour travelling with you. Not long now and we will be out of this forest and within reach of the Lonely Mountain."
She heard a heavy breath leave Thorin. His voice was tinged with longing as he spoke. "I do believe we are close to our goal," he said quietly, before his tone changed slightly and became more amicable. "I will rest easier once we reclaim Erebor, together with all its riches and treasures. Tell me, Arinna, what will you do with your fifteenth share?"
The druid hesitated. She had never actually thought about her share in the treasure. It had always been at the very back of her mind, for it had never been the reason she had joined the company at all. "I do not know," she admitted and could almost see the surprise on Thorin's face in the darkness. "To be honest with you, I do not think I have much need of it. I grew up without any riches and never felt any worse for it. But perhaps I would…"
"Perhaps you would what?" Thorin prompted quietly, when she faltered, curious to hear her answer now. He could hear her hesitate and his brows furrowed. "Believe me, lass, whatever you tell me cannot be worse than what most of our companions will do. Bofur wants to open a toy shop, of all things."
Arinna smiled at the thought. "I think that's a lovely idea," she replied and though she couldn't see it, Thorin was smiling slightly as well. "I… I would use it to rebuild my father's home."
"Your home in Evendim was destroyed?"
"No," Arinna shook her head slightly, letting out a deep breath, as she prepared to tell the dwarf-king the truth. Her gaze drifted to the sky, the tree tops still dark above them, though soft light was beginning to filter through the leaves now. Morning was close. "My father's home was destroyed. He did not hail from Evendim, not originally. His family and my mother's family came from a small village near Dale."
There was another long silence between the two of them at her words and the druid drew in a nervous breath, her fingers twiddling with the silver charm on her necklace as she looked over at Thorin to find him staring at her intently. His gaze did not hold any doubt, or betrayal, or other things that she might have expected. Instead he just looked at her calmly, something akin to understanding in his eyes.
"You never said." It wasn't a question. Arinna shook her head with a soft but sad smile, upon which Thorin gave her a small nod. His gaze drifted away, back to the tree line as he continued thoughtfully, his mind filling with unpleasant memories of long ago. His voice was bitter when he spoke next. "I knew of druids living in a colony East of Dale in my time at the mountain. It was said they had the greatest healers in the land among them. I am sorry to hear that your family suffered such a fate."
"They were not the only ones who suffered at the hands of Smaug," Arinna answered gently and Thorin inclined his head ever so slightly. She tried to steer the conversation into a more cheerful direction, not having wanted to bring up bad memories with the dwarf-king. "And yet, they made a new life for themselves and for me somewhere else. A good life. I grew up very happy in the Hills of Evendim, much as I believe your nephews did in the Ered Luin."
Thorin hummed quietly, shooting her a small half-smile. "You are a kind woman," he rumbled, his heart feeling slightly less heavy as the memories of Smaug were chased away by images of his nephews running through the village in the Blue Mountains, two little dwarflings getting into trouble wherever they could, laughing all the way. As the sun slowly shed its dim light over the company, his eyes found his sister's sons sleeping beside each other. He cleared his throat slightly, looking over at Arinna and putting a heavy hand on her shoulder in thanks for her words and their honest conversation, before he got up and called for the companions to wake up.
Arinna sat for another small while, watching as the company rose, before she packed her up her own things. She felt tired but the conversation with the dwarf-king had helped to ease her mind slightly, at least for a while, distracting her from her surroundings. It was Balin who led them along the path that day, and Arinna fell in step behind Bilbo as she followed the group.
They had been walking for a while, when she suddenly tripped over a root on the ground, her foot getting caught in it, and she fell with a pained cry. She heard Bilbo call out for the others to stop, as she scrambled up onto her forearms, her ankle throbbing painfully.
"Are you alright?" She heard the hobbit ask worriedly and she looked up at him with a nod just as she felt a hand wrap itself around her ankle. She twitched with a small jolt of pain running up her leg and spun her head around to see Fili crouching by her side, untangling her limb from the protruding root with care.
The blond prince looked up at her, and she felt him give her ankle a tentative squeeze. His touch was gentle but it made her hiss nevertheless, pain jolting up her leg once more.
"What has happened?" She heard Thorin call from somewhere behind her, the company now gathering around her as best they could on the narrow path. She caught the dwarf-king's eye as he looked down at her with a mixture of worry and slight annoyance. "Are you alright to walk? Have you hurt yourself?"
"I'm fine. Just took a little tumble, nothing more," Arinna was quick to assure him, nodding as he simply levelled her with a hard stare for a second, before he motioned with his head for the others to move on. He made his way through the group, back to the front to lead the way with Balin.
Arinna sat up, looking back at Fili as she still felt his hand on her leg. The dwarf shot her a pointed look. "Are you sure you can walk?" He asked dubiously, though there was no annoyance in his eyes, only concern. "It looks to me like a sprain. You should have Oin look at it."
"I won't be the reason we spend even a day longer in this forest than is strictly necessary. I can walk," she reiterated, though she could tell that he was probably right. She reached out her hand, waving it at the blond dwarf slightly. "Now, help me up, please."
While the company was moving slowly but steadily away, Fili did as he was told, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet. Arinna suppressed a yelp as she put pressure on her injured ankle, feeling it protest painfully at the movement. She avoided Fili's gaze as she tried to take a few steps, but her hand involuntarily shot out and grabbed his shoulder to steady herself when another sharp pain shot up her leg.
"Here, I'll carry you," Fili offered, holding out one arm toward her, but the druid shook her head. She did not want him to have to lug her around, when there were already dark rings under his eyes showing her how exhausted he must be. "Arinna -"
"I'm alright, Fili," she assured him, hobbling a few steps further and glancing ahead to where the rest of the company had put a small bit of distance between them already. She sighed deeply, knowing that she would never be able to keep up with their pace like this.
Fili watched as the dark-haired woman hobbled yet another few steps ahead, her right arm shooting out again to find some balance as she tried to put hardly any pressure on her injured leg. He kept watching silently as she came to a halt, and he could almost see her fighting with herself over what to do. He wasn't going to push her though, knowing by now how stubborn she could be, and instead waited until she finally turned around to him with a defeated, almost shy look on her face.
"Would you like my help?" He asked with a soft but knowing smile and waited again until she gave him the tiniest of nods. Only then did he incline his head and stepped up to her, one arm wrapping around her back and the other around her legs as he lifted her up easily. Her arms wrapped around his neck automatically, and he heard her mutter a quiet thanks as he moved to catch up with the others.
"Just for a little while, though," Arinna asserted and Fili shot her a small sideways glance. Though he was tired, he did not mind carrying her. The feeling of her in his arms somehow made his mind feel less hazy than usual, almost as though he had needed something to hold on to, something real, to keep his eyes from straying to the dark shadows behind the trees. She spoke quietly against his neck. "I'm sure I'll be fine in a little while, I don't want you to exhaust yourself."
"How heavy do you think you are?" Fili chuckled quietly, but the druid only rolled her eyes at his jest slightly.
"That's not what I mean," she said. "It doesn't matter if you're carrying me or Bombur, this place drains you. I don't want to add to it."
Fili let out a small breath, his hold on her tightening slightly as he shook his head with a small smile. "Still, I much prefer to have you in my arms than Bombur. If only for a little while."
