ACT II: They Who Stand
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"Ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, Cassandra."
Ten months. Ten solid, anxiety-ridden, hair-pulling, vomit-producing months, and here we were, at the mouth of what remained from the crumbling Temple of Sacred Ashes.
I was fucking shaking in my boots. Cassandra stood behind me as she commanded our Templars. Shouted orders and last second changes flew behind me as our company hurried to finish their preparations. This was going to be it, we had made our last march up to the Temple and all that was left was to close the Breach. The mouth of the rift hovered above the ground and over a broken pillar just before us, the demolished temple rang hollow with the thundering footfalls of the soldiers and Templars as they hastily moved to surround the rip and prepare for our attempt.
The Breach hung above the rift, high in the sky and swirling with its pulsing greenish, brackish light. Clouds circled the pillar of light that connected the rift to its breach far above, they faded as they drew closer to the ground, dispersing in the faint breeze that had followed us up from Haven. Solas appeared just beyond the peripheral of my vision, his nose and forehead the only things I could truly see. My shaking grew harder under my armor, my maul rattled a bit in its holster.
"Jaime?" Solas called to me, soft and curious.
"Cold," I dismissed him, "that's all."
Lies, honestly. Much more than cold riddled me, but there was no sense in having the same discussion over and over again. With a sidestep, Solas' profile entered my vision and he sighed, his gaze drawn up like mine to the Breach and its rift. More Templars filed in behind us, Cassandra at the head. My eyes closed and a strange sensation of burning could be felt behind my eyelids. Mouth dry as a desert and nose about to break off my face from the bitter wind, I turned to Cassandra, shoulders back and chin level.
"Templars!" I hollered to them, my voice echoing through the ruins. Above my level were the glinting, armored shadows of Bull's Chargers Mercenary Company, the last line of defense should this whole thing go to shit. They stood ready with their barrels of pitch and torches, prepared to rain fire if the sealing of the rift went foul.
"This ends today!" I continued, my eyes cast down to the helmets that turned toward me. "Let the nightmare fall back from Thedas with us!" Cheers and roars thundered with swords battered against their shields. The muscles of my throat tightened around my voice-box. Cassandra's words hung heavy from my mouth, but she had been right: it was exactly what needed to be said.
I saluted them with my fist across my chest and they answered with a solid ring of their swords clanking against their shields again. My teeth were hurting, my ears were ringing something awfully and it was all I had in me not to buckle over my knees as I walked the path down toward the center of the Temple, closer to the rift. Solas and Cassandra followed me, my other companions left behind in the safety of Haven.
I hope this works.
Templars filed around me as planned, their power honed and focused onto a single spot. Hopefully Solas' theory proved only partially true, that with their strength it would be enough to repair the rift and close the Breach without actually having anyone die on me. Without myself dying in the process, if it could be helped, but Solas and I had kept that dark secret between us. There were too many variables between the leaders of the Inquisition and my own companions to think that there would be an easy, clear-cut decision on whether I was to be sacrificed over the Templars.
Guilt gnawed at my stomach, knowing that I walked away from my people without telling them the whole truth, that I could in all actuality die and they would not understand why I had. My eyes found the shrouded faces of the Templars as I walked past them, each one solid and real, their expressions held tight in the face of the nightmare before us. I wonder if Cullen had told them what to expect? What could they expect in this unknown?
Finally, my trek brought me to the floor of the Temple, my Mark pulsed in time with the Breach and I realized it always had. It wasn't mimicking the beat of my heart, it only seemed to, but it had really been keeping time with its creator. A shiver ran down through my legs at the thought, but I pushed forward and stood before the pillar, staring up into the sky.
Hands touched either side of my shoulder blades and with a glance over, Solas and Cassandra came into sight. They both nodded, with Cassandra squeezing my shoulder in reassurance. My jaw trembled, but I blinked to hold back tears. Cassandra would never realize what had happened, if I died here. She wouldn't know and suddenly I feared the guilt she would burden herself with, if it happened. I glanced back to Solas, his own gaze on Cassandra until he felt my own and met my eyes.
He nodded, as if he understood my silent plea.
I walked forward, closer, as they both turned to the Templars.
"Templars!" Cassandra roared, her voice carrying like rolling thunder.
"Focus past the Herald!" Solas followed her, bellowing into her storm. "Let her will draw from you!"
That was my cue. With a hard swallow, I took another step forward and I must have crossed some sort of barrier because the Mark flared to life in a way it hadn't before. The light sparked and glowed, brightening like a comet from the sky, glistening and glinting through my fingers without warning. A hard, trembling pulse quaked up from my palm into my arm, hammering into my shoulder joint and it pushed me back on a heel.
Grunting, I gritted my teeth and raised my palm to the sky, a screeching howl reached my ears, screams and sobbing voices rolled over each other, fighting for space in my head. My eyes shut and I forced another foot forward, the tether of the Fade formed between my palm and the rift, but unlike the tug-of-war I was accustomed to, this one was pushing.
My feet were sinking into the dirt and broken gravel ground of the Temple. The roars of the Templars were warring with the voices in my head, sweat started to form and drip along my brow and neck. My other hand reached up and gripped my elbow, keeping my other arm steady and straight as I fought my way forward. Heat shot through me next, a wire-hot vindictiveness slithered through my bones and lit my marrow alight with a blaze.
I must have been screaming, there's no way I wasn't, but I couldn't hear a damn thing over the other noises around me, or within my own mind. Visions flashed behind my eyes, people and faces I didn't recognize, towering, monstrous figures that burst like sparklers and fireworks before reforming into something else, something bigger, something darker, and filled my mind with a fog. There was another force pushing, it soared behind me, cascading through my back in waves and briefly my mind supplied: Templars.
It made it easier to push against the rift as it fought me for dominance. Each breath was filtered through sandpaper as I continued my desperate push, my eyes were flooded with tears and every blink only brought more. Vision gone, hearing obscured, the only thing I could trust was the next step that I took. Someone or something hollered tremendously from within the rift, a crashing tsunami of hatred, blackened and burnt by time, festered by rage and tasting of salt and copper shot through my throat and poisoned my body.
The tether between me and the rift coiled for no more than a heartbeat before it gave a blood curdling, grating scream and popped, its explosion silent at first before the blast caught me under my diaphragm and rocketed me back off my feet, the tendons and ligaments in my arm felt as if they had been snapped clear off the bone. A scream ripped up through my sandpaper lined throat and I hit the ground with a dead slap, my vision burnt white and then reddened before going black.
I came to consciousness slowly, like waking up from drug-induced slumber, unaware of the passage of time or where my body was in the physical realm. Above me, the sky was darkened by large, rolling rain clouds, a gentle thunder echoing overhead, but the green tint of the Fade was absent. Seconds after, Cassandra's face swam into sight and she knelt next to me, a hand on my shoulder.
"Jaime," she breathed, amazed (to find me alive, no doubt), "you did it."
Immediately, tears sprang to my eyes and without a single thought, I reached up and wrapped my weakened arm around her, my left arm dead to the world, but I couldn't bring myself to care. The woman spared not a moment and pulled me up into her arms, sitting me up against her chest, and with the clank of our armors pressed together, I began to sob.
"You did it," she continued to murmur, comforting me with awkward pats on my back, our armor in the way of her affections. "Breathe, girl. We made it, it's over." It only made me cry harder, wracking, uncontrollable sobs escaped me, my diaphragm spasmed under my ribs to the point of pain and suffocation. Solas came up around behind Cassandra and stood, leaning on his staff, his head bright with sweat.
It was a few minutes more before I could breathe normally, my face swollen and rough from tears. My left arm was useless, but with Solas' help, we slung it up against my chest with a strap of leather and cloth from a Templar. Slowly, we made our way back toward the entrance, the Templars collecting themselves and their scattered bits of armor and weapons. Most, if not all, looked dazed and utterly confused, but with a single look up into the sky, relief flooded them, a few with tears of their own hidden under their helmets.
More silent tears slipped down my face; I couldn't wipe them away as one arm was in a sling and the other was wrapped around Cassandra's neck as she assisted me with walking. A few of the more coherent veteran Templars saluted me with weak and wobbling fists as I walked past them, and all I could offer was a nod: we did it, we shared the silence together.
My throat choked on whatever emotion gripped me, I couldn't tell what it was. Was it relief? Joy? Fear over the lost limb? Grief? I wouldn't necessarily say I could jump for joy at the moment, but the sheer and utter emptiness I felt at having completed my task was overwhelming.
I didn't die. I'm still here.
I wasn't looking at the edge of a never ending chasm anymore, I was looking at the dive into an ocean, and at least with that I knew I could swim. My fingers curled tightly into Cassandra's pauldron and the arm she had around my waist held me firmer. We shared a glance and Cassandra leaned her head enough to press our temples together. My heart felt it would burst, because what she couldn't say in words I could feel through her actions.
Thank you.
Damnit, was I going to cry the whole way back to Haven? A hard sniff rattled through my nose and I ducked my head to keep my walking steady as I stared at the ground. The end of our walk came into view, Templars lined the exit on either side, their armor gleaming and dented in some places, but whole. I hadn't seen any of them lying on the ground, so I prayed that meant they all survived.
"They did." Cole's voice echoed through my head. "There was enough to carry you without letting the Fade take you, they saved you, brought you back, let you stand with their strength." I closed my eyes, relief bubbling in my stomach at the familiar voice and I exhaled shakily, tentatively reaching my thoughts out to Cole.
I thought I told you to stay in Haven?
"I am here, and there. You were scared, you didn't want to be alone. I know that feeling, being with people but still alone." There was a pause, but since my arm was numb, I couldn't tell if he was close by or not. "I wanted to help. I can help, because I am here with you."
Oh, Cole.
"Jaime?" Cassandra's voice broke through my silent conversation and I focused back into reality. With a swallow, I found myself surrounded by my companions and Bull's Chargers, their lieutenant and commander staring at me with unreadable expressions. Cassandra gently unhooked my arm from around her neck and held me steady.
I hadn't realized how weak I felt, my knees buckled under me and it was a race as both Krem and Bull jerked forward to catch me. Krem managed to get to me first, taking me gently from Cassandra's hold and holding me by my shoulders before Bull swept in and picked me up like a child. There was no energy left in me to feel embarrassed or flustered. My head dropped to his clavicle with my eyes shutting heavily.
"Exhaustion, much as before." Solas muttered somewhere behind me, off to Bull's right side. "See that she gets to Haven quickly, have Adan attend to her –"
"I'll have Stitches look her over." Bull countered with a low rumble, or maybe that was just my hearing loss. There was a shuffle of footsteps and Bull adjusted me against his chest, his arm under my legs being careful as he placed his hand on my hip.
"We'll take good care of her," Krem added softly, closer to the left side of Bull, "would you like some of the men to stay here and help with whatever injuries you may have?"
"No." Cassandra injected firmly. "Take the Chargers with you, the Templars have proven their worth and trustworthiness."
"... agreed," Solas sighed, his tone reluctant, "for now, we are safe."
"There's still a mark on her hand." Bull seemed to growl, his arm shifting under my back, cradling me upward a bit. I attempted to blink to clear my vision, but it swirled a bit like mixed, wet paint and deciding that I didn't want to throw up on my crush like some elementary school kid, I kept my eyes closed and continued to listen.
"I shall see to that issue when we return. For now, she is to be taken back to safety. Keep watch on her for any irregularities." Solas commanded. That must have been the last of his patience because footsteps started and faded away. A cloak or something similar was placed over me, my lame left arm pushed closer to my chest to keep it from falling.
My eyelids felt like anchors. "Cass?"
"I am here, Jaime." Cassandra's armored hand rested on my forearm briefly. "Iron Bull and Lieutenant Cremisius are returning you to Haven."
"... 'kay." I wanted to ask so much more, but my throat refused to work, dry and cracked and dusty that it was. I knew this bit of information already, I wanted to know what had happened with the rift, but I couldn't formulate my thoughts to articulate them with my mouth. Fucking hell, I sound drugged. Cassandra must have signaled to my caretakers, because my body bobbed as Bull began to move.
My head rested back between his clavicle and shoulder joint. I tested my fingers of my left hand and found that I couldn't feel them at all. Such a result should have concerned me, but shock must have still been setting in, because the fact of the matter was: I wasn't dead, so a dead arm was a good trade off.
Amputation, though. I'm sure that would worry me later.
It was unclear to me how long it took us to make the march back to Haven, but before long, I was being passed around, more voices could be heard, distinctly Blackwall's and Varric's, but they faded not long after and I found myself in my cabin, the familiar smells of polishing grease and leather oil found my nose and relaxed me, at peace now that I was home.
… home.
-0-
When I awoke, it was morning. Whether it was the next morning or some days after was uncertain. Crust had caked my eyes shut and my hand fumbled out for something to wipe my eyes clear. I almost leapt from my skin as another hand found mine, and a second scare-jump did have me smacking against the wall on the other side of my bed as I realized the hand I was using was the left one.
"You are certainly far more animated than I would have suspected." Solas' voice tingled against my ears, my hearing back to normal. A few hard blinks cleared my eyes of their snot, but not my vision. Odd shapes took form and I could spy that my elven friend sat in my chair facing my fireplace, his legs crossed at the knee and his hands resting in his lap, as prim and proper as you please.
Frowning, I glanced at my hand and found that the one I held was Cole's. I looked up, my shoulders twitching with surprise upon noticing his hat was missing. Christ, rude. Too many things happening altogether. My fingers curled in his palm, his other hand brought up a damp hand towel and he held it up for me. Reluctantly, and with much confusion, I took it.
"Where…? No, I'm – home. What happened?" Both my hands retreated once I took the hand towel wiped my face from my forehead down. The cloth was ice cold and woke me up fast, my vision clearing as my skin pricked with the sensation.
"You fainted, yet again." Solas clarified, sarcastic. "It's been two days. One day less than before, much to our relief."
"There was some healing we needed to do," Cole murmured to me, his hands behind his back, head tilted, "your arm was almost lost, but I told you I can help, so I did, and gave you back your arm."
"Wait, what?" I muttered, lost, wincing up at Cole from the sunlight of my window. "I do distinctly remember losing sensation in my arm, but not the whole thing."
"It's the Mark." Solas sighed quietly, glancing at Cole for a moment. "Cole had informed me of his assistance at Therinfal, replacing the energy you expended with his own." Startled, my gaze shot to Cole and he blinked at me, the situation a natural thing for him. I shook my head, my attention flickering back to Solas.
"Wait, no, that's bad." I croaked. "Cole's a spirit, if he uses that energy –"
"Theoretically, yes, he would be under the same assumptions as other spirits, but Cole is… unique." Solas seemed displeased with his own answer, his eyes narrowed at the young man in question, but Cole took no notice of the attention.
"I'm not fully human, I don't hurt as hurt happens, but I can mend hurts that are not mine." Cole attempted to explain, his kaleidoscope eyes twitched in their sockets, dashing over my face. "If we lost all of you, I couldn't bring that back, but small parts of you I can, the Mark makes it easy."
"In essence, your Mark not only connects you to the Fade, but also to any amicable spirits, such as Cole." Solas nodded his head to the boy, his hand refolding on his lap. "An interesting tidbit of information no one deemed important to tell me."
That was directed at me, surely.
"I hadn't thought about it," I answered him quietly, "I hadn't known what Cole was doing, only that he kept the numbness at bay for a little while."
"Bending, but not broken, tired and twisted, leashed together and sapping," Cole muttered quickly, his hands coming up to lace together in front of his chest, almost resting on his stomach, "Thieving, taking, quaking, putting back what's stolen, fixing what's broken, I've never – got to heal someone before. It's nice." There was a pregnant pause, all three of us unsure of what settled between us. In the end, I reached up with my Marked hand and gently placed it on Cole's closest elbow.
"It's nice to be cared for, Cole." I thanked him with a soft smile, "I'm glad you were here for me."
The smallest, sweetest smile touched his lips, and then he vanished.
Solas continued on as if Cole had never been in the room, "The man from Iron Bull's company, Stitches, kept you stable for most of the first night. You caught a high fever after returning to Haven."
"Hopefully insanity doesn't set in from the damage," I joked, testing my left arm with a roll of my wrist and then my shoulder. I held the joint to add pressure, but also for assurance that I actually did have the arm attached and it wasn't fake. Magic could do almost anything, if the rumors were true.
"Indeed," Solas deadpanned, "Such as it is, the fever broke and you continued to sleep. I must inform you, the company you keep is – disquieted."
"Is it because of this?" I raised my left hand, the Mark's small chasm in my palm still present, but faded like a dying glow stick. Solas nodded his head and I sighed, my hand falling to the bed as I sat up. "Why… do I still have it? I thought… I don't know, that it would disappear with the Breach?"
"I had my speculations it would, but now…" Solas shook his head and turned toward the fire, his expression hard over his mouth. "Now I feel as if most of my theories are lost in the wind. What I thought it once was is incorrect and I fear what it could be, now."
"What is it, Solas?" I asked tentatively, concerned at the cryptic nature of his response. He wasn't ever once to give a full straight answer, but even this was on the far side of vague, even for him. A silence surrounded him, seeming to void the noise that existed in his personal space and he stood, his jaw tight under his skin.
"When I know, I shall inform you. Take your rest, Jaime, we have a long night of celebration to attend tonight." With that, my elven friend gracefully exited my cabin, leaving me befuddled.
