ACT II: The Stirrings in the Mist
Note: For whatever you celebrate (or don't!) have a happy surprise gift from me!
My body jolted awake and shuddered against the blankets I was caught up in. My heart raced at a rabbit's pace behind my ribs. I ripped up from the blankets, a frantic look around told me I was back in Skyhold, back in the nest I had made in front of the fire. The light outside the windows was young, coming from a sunrise rather than the sunset I had fallen asleep to. It was a moment more before I scrambled out of my blankets in search of water.
What the hell was that?
There was a pitcher of it that sat near my bed. I retrieved a cup and took a few hearty swallows. The cup sat back on the nightstand and I stood there with my hands braced on the edge of the stand. The rush of my breathing whipped in my ears and a shudder shook my neck as sweat dripped down from my hairline. It took a few more minutes before the shaking stopped and my heart slowed to a normal pace.
What in God's name… I shot an accusatory glance at my left hand. Could it be the Mark? Is it strong enough now to connect me to the Fade? I need to think. I wasn't about to go running to Solas in this state since there was far too high of a chance that I would babble like a moron. Wait it out. List it all up first. I would need to start my day in a different way.
The trouble with the room I was in now, so high in the tower was that there was no easy means to get a bath set up. Nothing warm, at least. There was enough water in a barrel in the storage space for me to rinse down with a cloth and dress so I was mildly presentable. Step one; complete. This would likely be my last few days in Skyhold before I went back out into the world to deal with the problems at large.
Like dancing with a fucking dragon.
Dressed in my normal garb of tunic and pants, the coat was left over the dresser and I set about fixing the bed (just in case a servant came in and found my nest). Finished with covering up my more animalistic tendencies, I moved toward my desk and took a seat in the chair Blackwall had carved for me. It was sturdy and though it lacked the ability to lean back, it was functional. The scrolls Josephine had given me were still nestled at the center of the desk, waiting for my curiosity to read through them.
I might as well.
There was a small note from our Quartermaster, Ser Morris, and it seemed he had been the one to put forth the idea that my training needed to go beyond whatever the Inquisition could currently offer. It brought a smile to my face to think that someone else was keeping an eye out for us. I opened one after the other, reading over the description for the services and training they would give me.
The first was an Orlesian noble by the name of Chancer de Lion. A long line of leadership and military experience followed the man. Known extensively throughout Orlais as a stark defender and reliable champion of the people. I twisted my mouth in thought, not a bad start. Defense is good. Learning to use a shield would be nice, but could I handle a sword?
He would be useful if we kept him around to train a lot of the civilians on how to defend their new home. It would keep them out of most of the fighting (hopefully) and leave the soldiers with more attention to spare when it came to the actual battlefield. Could I convince him to stay around and train others?
That was a hard maybe.
The second was extremely interesting. The only signed name was Ser, and there was an added note to clearly state that he Was Not Affiliated with the Templar Order. Noted, ser. The rest of it was self-explanatory and I would be a liar if I couldn't admit that the idea of learning what the Templars did wasn't intriguing. The only part of it that worried me greatly was the use of lyrium. Cullen and Barris have made mentioned that the stuff can be addictive. Even Josephine mentioned some of the Templars going feral without it.
It posed a unique problem. Knowing what the Templars did and how they used it against the Fade and demons was a boon to be sure, but what would happen after when it was all said and done? Would that mean I would have to file in rank with the Templars? Half my forces were already Templars, so if we needed to train anyone else, they were available to do so. Not like they wouldn't want to bolster their forces after such a devastating lost with the Envy demon.
Hmm. That was going to be a no, then. I didn't want or need what I already had, and Cullen had told me stories of his years with the Order. It took an immense amount of training and dedication, and my attentions were already devoted elsewhere. I set the scroll aside and moved to the shortest one of the three.
The last one made me laugh. Breaker Thram. Holy shit. Her specialization didn't have much in the way of a description. All she had written down to offer her services was: You wish to inspire? Inspire terror. I knew better than to be led down the rabbit hole of power, because that's how someone ended up on the wrong side of a superhero movie. Wanting to do good with the power you have, only to turn into the villain you tried to defeat. The simplistic, minimalistic nature of her offer intrigued me, though.
I'm always a sucker for getting to the point.
I would have to ask Josephine to bring in Breaker Thram. Decided, I left my desk and collected the scrolls under my arm before heading back down and out to Josephine's office. The fort was quiet and it was only then that I realized how early in the morning I was skulking around. Surprised, I scurried over to Josephine's desk and left the scrolls on top of her books. After a moment, I pulled up her quill and left a note on the parchment to request Thram be invited to Skyhold.
Out into the main hall I wandered. It was quiet and had an odd thrum like an empty church. Braziers cracked with low flames and shadows danced along the stone walls as I walked past them. The fireplace at the far end of the hall by the entrance was also low, but as I spied over the table, I could see a few parchment rolls of Varric's handwriting. The dwarf was nowhere to be found.
With a turn, I snuck through the rotunda. Solas was also absent, perhaps too early for him as well. Come back to talk to him about that dream, for sure. It gave me an excuse to slip away up the stairs and higher into the tower. The mages that had been up here with Dorian were absent, the windows glinting with the low morning light. The fluttering of bird wings and impatient caws brought my attention upward. I scaled the stairs in their wide circle to make it all the way to the top of the tower.
Leliana stood by the open door that led out to her balcony. Cullen just beside her.
"I am sorry." Leliana spoke gently.
Cullen shook his head and left her side, "So am I."
I was stuck, there was nowhere in the landing to hide that he would not see me as he walked past. The Commander said nothing to me as he made his way out. My head ducked quietly and I watched as his feet shuffled past mine, hitting the stairs with a soft clank from his boots. There was a pause and my gaze came up to Leliana, my Spymaster's careful eyes focused on me, but mine spied something silver in her grasp.
She lifted it, a cylinder of silver. "The names of those we've lost. You must blame me for this." A sharp sting popped my lungs and I exhaled, tight in my shoulders as I walked up to her table. She left the cylinder on the table closest to me.
"We all saw who attacked us." I answered quietly. "We know exactly who to blame." A silence fogged up between us, her eyes strayed to my hand from the cylinder and back. She shook her head and pushed away from the table, her gaze turning to the windows where the sunlight was weakest.
"I keep wondering if I could've done something different." Leliana murmured against the glass, the fog of her breath appearing for a few seconds. "When the first of my lookouts went missing, I pulled the rest back, awaiting more information." A reactive plan, a limb jerking away at pain to avoid any more that would come. I couldn't and wouldn't blame her for that. She saved them from being captured.
"If they'd stayed in the field, they could've brought us more time." She exhaled with her lips pressed tight together. She scoffed, pained and mournful, "I was afraid to lose my agents, and instead we lost Haven."
"We would have lost Haven anyway, it was a chapel, not a fortress." I interjected. I walked toward the end of the table where the windows overlooked the parchments and scrolls she gathered up against the wall. "You saved your men. We would have lost them to the horde, to the snow. To the dragon."
"You don't know that." Leliana countered darkly, a sharp glance at me over her shoulder with half her face hidden by her hood. "Their lives could've bought Haven a small chance."
"We would have died in that grave." I shot back fiercely, keeping my voice low to avoid the echo of the tower. "Nothing — no warning, no planning, nothing would have saved us from a dragon. We were in a home made for pilgrims, not armies."
Leliana shook her head hard. "My people know their duty. They know the risks. They understand that the Inquisition may call upon them to give their lives."
"Our people aren't tools to be used and discarded." I resisted the urge to smack my knuckles against the table. I understood her, I truly did, because I had to wade my way through those same thoughts nearly every day. But I can't have my Spymaster second-guessing her tactics!
"Leliana." Her name drew her attention to me and I held her gaze with mine. "Your instincts were right. Their lives matter."
She was just as quick to bite. "Can we afford sentimentality? What if Corypheus —"
"We're better than Corypheus!" I snapped, my voice warbling as I controlled my volume. "You start using bodies to hold up a bridge without offering them support, you're going to see the whole thing fall to pieces because no one likes being sacrificed." My Spymaster turned to face me fully, her eyes wide for a second before the same soft smirk fell upon her lips.
"You've become so commanding as of late." There was a laugh in her tone somewhere, I could almost hear it. She smiled, her arms folded behind her back. "I understand, Inquisitor. I apologize for my weakness."
"It's not weakness to care, Leliana." I sighed, rapping my knuckles against the table. "But I forgive you for being a sap." I smiled as a true laugh escaped her, and never before had I felt so elated at the sound of someone's laughter. It warmed me much like the sun's rays and she took the moment for herself, relieved. She settled back into her normal, quiet self after a moment or two, but her eyes were brighter for it.
"I very much doubt you came up here to cheer me up." She murmured peacefully. "How may I be of service?"
"Okay, so." I laughed. "First off, I need you to check through the roster for a Mira that came to us from Orlais. She's got a look to her that I think you'll put to good use."
Leliana smirked, "Understood. I could always add another to the flock. Anything else?"
"Speaking of birds." I gave an amused huff. I took a seat at her table while she remained standing across from me, poised and graceful. "Hawke. How much do you know?"
"For once, not much." She admitted lightly. "He was here for only a few days. I suspect Cassandra has gotten wind of it, as a few of our soldiers recognized him before he left."
"So that's probably why I haven't found Varric anywhere, huh?" I joked. Leliana offered me a small shrug, but laughter tugged at the corner of her mouth and eyes. "Right. Well. He might have a few leads for us. Bethany is still alive, from the sounds of it. And another Warden has entered our mists."
"Oh?" She piqued her curiosity enough for me to see it cross her lips. "Do tell."
"Warden Stroud. He didn't disappear with the rest of the Wardens, they're hunting him. He disagrees with something they've done." My knuckles tapped against the tabletop again, a muted rhythm within the wood. "Hawke also has him looking into the sources and symptoms of red lyrium."
She frowned. "Is he? Interesting. I know Hawke and Varric had become very disturbed by its effects within its victims. I had wondered if there was a link between the idol they had found in the Deep Roads and the red lyrium we recently found in the Temple."
"Yeah, same." My hands rose to rub at my cheeks. "I didn't think of that, but I remember it from the story. What's to stop it from being an external force as much as an internal one?"
"Nothing that we know of." Leliana muttered. "I shall send word that any red lyrium found must be quarantined until further notice. We must find some way to dispose of it."
"Check." I listed it off with a flick of my index finger. "Which leads to the next point; Hawke has agreed to let me meet his Warden and talk to him. I'm hoping I can find out what happened to the rest of them."
Leliana nodded. "Good. If we know where they are, then even if they do not side with us, we can make sure they don't side against us. Just you alone, or was the agreement for a party?"
"I didn't ask, but I'm not going alone." I answered with a sigh. I leaned into my hands. "Varric is a must, because of Hawke. Blackwall, for sure. He may be able to help us with the Wardens…" I hesitated and I hated that I did because just like a cat with a mouse in her sights, Leliana's eyes narrowed on me.
"Something wrong?" Leliana intoned politely, her mouth small to hide her pleasure at weeding out a secret. "No one else to accompany you?"
"I hate that you phrased it that way." I pointed an accusing finger at her and the smirk across her face widened. "Don't you dare be smug, you witch — you have nothing on me."
"Oh, my darling Inquisitor." Leliana hummed, pleased at having caught me in my idiocy. "You may not always see me, but I am always watching." I glared at her, but the smirk remained on her face and I had the strongest vibes of Mike Wazowski hit me like a truck. I shuddered and clapped my hands once to rid the feeling from my bones. I fought to keep the words from my mouth, but I knew doing so only delayed what she already knew. Or suspected. Damnit.
"Maybe Bull." I muttered, defeated. "I don't know what we're walking into, so having a Wall is a good idea."
Leliana fought to keep her heels to the ground. "Of course, Inquisitor. Such as it is, he may need our assistance in the near future, so best to collect on favors now."
"What do you mean?" I glanced up with surprise. "Are we about to have issues with the Qunari?" That was the last fucking thing we needed. There had been no hints of an invasion, but perhaps the last incursion with Corypheus over Haven may have tipped their opinion of the Inquisition. Fuck, I hadn't thought of that. I'm going to have to make some mad dashes to build up a reputation again.
"Not quite. Bull hasn't said anything yet, but the missives we've been getting are hinting at a possible alliance." She struck me with a look of disinterest skepticism.
"You don't think that's the real offer." I caught on, folding my hands on the tabletop. "Are they looking to get in good with us, only to take us over?"
"Hmm." Leliana's mouth twisted, her arms coming forward to cross under her armored bosom. "The possibilities are endless. It could be the precursor to an invasion. It could be they plan to take Bull back, it could be they want more agents to spy on us… on and on it goes."
"So I can't trust it." My right hand brought my fingers up to pinch my brow. "Christ Almighty. That's going to be a mess. And Bull hasn't said anything yet?"
Leliana shrugged. "There has not been anything to confirm or deny, a shadow in the mists for now. I will keep you updated if that should change."
"Please do." I asked with a nod. "I guess… I'll have to have a chat with him first, and see what's going on. Fuck you, you planned this didn't you?" I had only barely caught the sly look of a scheme brushing across her face before the whole expression dropped into a neutral smile.
"Absolutely not." Leliana denied sweetly. "But considering that you're going to be a Reaver, who better to help you with that, than him?"
"How the fuck do you know that?" I asked, visibly alarmed. "I literally just decided that this morning. I left the scrolls on Josephine's desk today."
"Jaime." Leliana shook her head, amused at my antics. "I know you. The secrets you keep may be deep, but everything else about you is an unbridled announcement. I —" Suddenly, hesitation took her voice and she eyed my face with a distant gaze. I remained still, waiting, watching as my Spymaster drug herself back from the memory she slipped over.
"Sometimes you are much like her." Leliana continued softly. "Divine Justinia. She was never — happy, per se, and she questioned much of what she did, but when she did something…" She cut herself off with a quick, warbled laugh and a shake of her head. There was a struggle as my mind wrestled with what to say. Do I ask about her? Would she tell me? Is it a touchy subject?
It was the first I had heard of Justinia from Leliana, but I recognized the look on her face. Picking up pieces of a broken heart were hard.
"Well. Maybe she imparted some of herself into me when she shoved me through the Fade." I let slip the lame joke and stood from the table. Leliana gave me a reflexive smile and nod.
"Perhaps she did. I am… glad for it. I shall see to your requests, Inquisitor." Leliana straightened and switched back into her Spymaster formality. "Breaker Thram was last heard camping out close to Orlais. She should be here in two or three days time."
"Thank you, Leliana." The sensitive topic tumbled past us, quiet and ghostly. "I'll make one more round for today and then tomorrow morning I'll be making the march to Crestwood."
Leliana nodded. "I'll have the soldiers ready. We might as well make our presence known there as well."
"Aye, aye." I saluted her with two fingers touched to my forehead. She was quiet as I left her, the stairs echoed only with my retreating footsteps.
-0-
The tower remained empty as I left Leliana's area. The birds were impatient to be released and fed; I wasn't terribly tempted to stick around and get nipped at for being in the way. Down the stairs I went, following the stonework under my feet to the rotunda where I could hear the gentle clinks of pots and shuffling of feet. Hurriedly, I dashed down the last of the steps knowing that I would find Solas at the bottom.
"Holy fuck, dude!" I hissed at him, nearly fishtailing from my sliding drift as I ran past his table. He turned to me from his painting work on the wall, brow shot over his face with amusement. He set down his pot of paint and brush, wiping his clean hands on his pants reflexively.
"I wondered when you'd come to find me." He chuckled, shoulders shuddering with laughter. "What a marvelous experience to have with you, my friend. I see now why you needed so long an adjustment period."
"No shit, right?" I laughed, hands hanging from the back of my neck in excitement. "I almost thought for sure I was home… I mean — I don't know what I mean."
Solas softened his smirk to a smile. "I understand. Elated to think you've returned home… heartbroken to find it is only a memory. Real, but long since gone."
"Yeah," I sagged from my shoulders briefly, "I was… I thought I was crazy. That maybe… it was just a dream. I mean, it was a dream — to me — but now it's just a mess. How did you get there?"
"Usually when I take to sleep, I find myself in the Fade. Since I am here," Solas looked up to the ceiling and the surrounding stonework, "Skyhold yields many memories for me to explore. I am quite sure that the old magic residing here is what brought you into the Fade."
I held up my Marked hand. "You think because this changed, it changed my connection to the Fade, too?"
"I believe so." Solas led me to his table. He pushed away works and sketches that littered the surface. A chair was pulled up close and I took it as he walked around toward the other across the table. He tapped the surface of the table and obediently I placed my left arm upon it.
"I know Cole told me that it seems somewhat sentient now." I babbled, twisting my wrist. "It listens, he says. It'll only take what I ask it to take."
"In a sense, he is correct." Solas tugged his sleeves up slightly and held the back of my hand, the Mark facing up toward us. "Before, the Anchor had been a simple tool, pushed to capacity with magical essence in order to rip apart the heavens." His thumb pressed at one corner of my palm near the tear and the Mark's green glow fluttered from the touch.
"And now?" I prompted, my fingers twitching from the sensation.
"Corypheus has empowered you, much to his chagrin, I am sure." Solas placed his palm over mine and he focused his gaze on me. "Jaime, if you may — pull." Sparked surprise shot through my muscles and I watched him for a second more, uncertain. Solas was undeterred, his expression firm and patient. My attention dropped to my hand and for a moment more, I stared. How?
But wait. I frowned as my fingers flattened. I had done it before… willingly. The terror demons both in the Hinterlands and in Fallow Mire had come to blows with the Mark, and had been dispersed because of it, but only the Envy demon had suffered under the crosshairs of being an actual target. My hand was shaking under his palm, but I concentrated, staring at our hands.
Pull, I commanded, envisioning the tendrils that connected me to the Rifts whenever I closed them. The glow under Solas' palm brightened for a fraction of a second and then a spiraling heat drew into the opening of my palm, a swirling sensation that took the cold right from Solas' skin. Immediately, I yanked my hand back in alarm, nearly toppling myself out of my chair.
"Spectacular." Solas was smirking as he caught my wrist to keep me steady. "Corypheus has refocused the Anchor, given it a purpose without intending to."
"He turned it into a weapon?" I couldn't fathom the destruction I could cause. "Because he connected to the other Anchor he had?"
"Yes." Solas nodded, releasing my wrists and smoothing his palm over mine, his magic cooling the heat in my palm. A healing spell? "Corypheus had made the Anchor a blunt force, to blow open the heavens and return to the Fade by force. The power in the Mark was chaos, and ripped at everything it could reach."
I could vividly remember the ripping sensation I felt when Corypheus had attempted to take the Anchor from my body, holding me as a hanging prisoner with his own weapon of destruction in his other hand. When my limb was released, I drew it back from Solas and rubbed my thumb over the open scar, the glow of the Mark fading gently.
"What is it now?" I asked myself quietly. "In the cave… when the demons showed up I just — I was so done with everything, I thought I could just blow us up with the Mark, but…"
Solas leaned in against the table, intrigued. "But?"
"I saw it." I looked up to him, eyes wide. "I remember — I could see a ripple in the air. Not like a Rift, I could… I don't know if I could tell it was stable, but I thought I could tear it open…"
"And did you?" Solas prodded questioningly. "What happened, Jaime?"
"I reached up and it felt like running my hand through water." I answered without a thought, the memory hazy as my mind desperately fought to keep the trauma at bay. "I could feel the energy and decided, well, fuck it, you know?" Solas watched me, his gaze studious as it roamed over my face and then down to my hand. Thoughts flashed through his eyes, an endless sea of questions that flooded him.
"I do know." He said instead, his gaze unfocused. "I know that feeling, of thinking there isn't any other way. It allowed you to focus on what most others would normally ignore."
"What do you mean?" I asked. His mind had gone somewhere else, something coiled in his past that sprung forth with my explanation. He skipped my true question and latched onto another.
"You know the Veil exists. You also know that it separates the Fade from this reality." Solas ticked off with his fingertips tapping on the table. "What I need you to understand now is that the Fade is, truly, its own reality. It exists. The Veil only exists as a barrier, but it is unnatural."
"Wait, what?" I floundered with a double take catching my voice. "It's unnatur — are you saying that the Fade and this world used to exist together?" Solas winced briefly and covered the expression with a thoughtful one, a sigh passing his lips as he stood from his chair.
"That part — pure speculation." He shook his head, moving to collect his sketches and avoiding my curious gaze. "But from my studies, the Veil hadn't always existed. This means to say that your Anchor, with its purpose now reinstated, is your gateway into the Fade. You can command it much the same, to allow what you want in…"
"And what I want, out." I followed along, leaning back in my chair. The implications… is that why Corypheus wanted it back? But what about the one he has? What was it supposed to do? "Solas. Then the second Anchor he had…?"
"A stabilizer." Solas tucked his sketches away into a bag behind his chair. "I deduce that the first attempt to breach the Fade failed because he only had the one, yours, and not the second one to act as a focal point to control the explosion."
"But if he has the second one, could others exist?" I snagged on the line of questions. "Or if he can't find any, could he still use the one in my hand? How much trouble are we looking at here?"
"I do not yet know, my friend." Solas sighed, resting against the back of his chair. "These items were rare and date back to the days of old where the People ruled — my People. How he found them, I am unsure."
My palms pressed together, poisoned fear burning my lungs. "... then I'm just going to have to make sure I'm his only option."
"Jaime?" Solas blinked, startled. "How… do you mean to use yourself as bait?"
"It's easier to face fears than to hide from them." I murmured with my fingers laced together and my forehead pressed against them. "And as long as he comes to me, I know where he's going to go. I won't lose him."
"Ah." Solas deflated, a sour look of sorrow pulling at his mouth. "You mean to use yourself as bait."
"As a trap." I answered, looking back up. "We're going to need to start setting it up now."
