...

"I haven't fucked any mothers." I deadpanned, my words quite literally taking the wind out of whatever sail Nick Fury had built up to.

To the side, I could see Tony Stark momentarily close his eyes and hold the bridge of his nose.

Bruce Banner meanwhile was eyeing the guns pointed at us warily as he tightened the wristband on his left hand.

Before Nick Fury could presumably respond, however, Jane Foster, unable to help herself, promptly snorted and covered her mouth with a hand.

Nick's gaze turned towards her with a raised eyebrow.

"I am so sorry, not the best time to laugh, I know."

"Stop glaring at Frosties, your beef's with Quack Doctor." Tony Stark, was, frankly just being himself.

Also Quack Doctor? I am officially offended.

"It's.. It's Foster."

Tony Stark shrugged.

"Oh, ya'll a real circus act, ain't you." Nick Fury remarked, taking a step towards me. His gaze briefly swept over towards Bruce Banner, before turning back to me. "You wanna tell me where the hell you scooped him up from?"

"Ice cream vendor." Both, Tony and I responded immediately.

Nick Fury took in a deep breath before he turned towards Stark.

"You're in enough shit as it is Stark, why don't you sit this one out?"

"Hey, I didn't piss in your houseplant! What's your problem with me? Besides, you said you were here to talk, not hold 'em hostage."

Jane Foster turned her gaze towards me, a deadpan stare on it.

I, naturally, refused to look her in the eye.

Mostly because I'd probably start laughing.

"You went to Russia. Their government is up my ass because of you." Nick remarked, completely ignoring the man's second point.

"It was for healthcare purposes,"

"Excuse me?"

"Well you have to admit, the American one sucks."

Tony, literally, just didn't give a single fuck.

"So, uh, sounds like you two have some problems to deal with, any chance-" I piped up, amusement colouring my face. At which point the guns pointing at us got even closer.

Begrudgingly, Nick Fury turned his attention from Stark back towards me.

"Oh, I am sorry, am I boring you?"

"Little bit."

Jane Foster eloquently jabbed me with her elbow.

Bruce Banner seemed to be in his own little world, judging by the vacant stare he held onto the wristband.

Rolling my eyes, I promptly took a step forward right up to Nick fury's face. the man not budging a foot, though off to the side, I could see Phil Coulson's body tense up, his hand raised to give the guns pointing at us a signal of sorts.

"Look. I take it you're here to talk."

"I am here to do a lot more than that."

"You know, I'd be worried if you didn't have enough on your plate already."

"See, that's funny, because the only thing on my plate right now, is you."

"Not if you knew what I knew buddy."

"I am not your friend."

"Exactly, you want me to talk, get rid of the guns."

The man nodded his head. "Sure, after that you and I can go grab some ice cream while were at it."

"I'd be down for that."

"Why am I not surprised?" Nick Fury retorted, one of his hands immediately reaching into a pocket.

"If I had to guess, it's the one-"

"Quack Doctor, don't push the eye."

I grinned, the action immediately setting off alarms in Nick Fury's mind as the man promptly took a step back, and levelled a gun at my head.

"Don't even-"

"Should've told Goose that."

"Motherfucker." The man responded, an entirely different expression taking over, even as the gun in his hand minutely shook. "How by god all mighty, do you know that?"

"Wait, am I missing something here?" Tony remarked, somewhat baffled.

I kept my gaze locked onto Fury.

"Like I said. You want to talk, drop the guns."

"..." The man's expression twitched the slightest, his mind likely at war with itself.

"I am gonna have to agree with Quack Doctor here. He's my employee, so... unless you want me to even the odds, I'd say put those guns down."

Nick Fury didn't budge his expression, still locked on me.

"That a threat?"

"Could be." Tony shrugged.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about Stark right now." I snorted. "See, right now, Frosties and Bruce here, are, what'd you call it, under my protection- Not that the jolly green giant needs that of course. That wristband doesn't cover survival instincts. Regardless if a bullet were to sway. If one of your trigger happy goons were to go off the handle and hit 'em?"

My expression switched, the smile and amusement disappearing out of my face as I took another step forward. Nick fury's gun, quite literally, was held against my forehead.

"I'd bury Shield so far underground, you'd get to say hi to Howard Fuckin' Stark."

"I don't take threats very well Jackass." Nick Fury responded tersely.

"Neither do I. Like I told Widow, you're on two strikes, one more, gun-fire or not, and you can clean the shithole your organizations in when it fuckin' explodes on you and takes out that other eye."

Even Stark, right now, seemed to be having second thoughts. The man quite literally taking a few steps closer to the nearest Iron Man suit.,

Bruce Banner was currently tugging at the wristband, his gaze switching between me and Fury.

Jane Foster was downright petrified.

"So like I said, put the guns down, and let's talk. You're making Frosties uncomfortable. And I am really starting to not like that."

Phil Coulson chose that moment to intervene, walking up towards Fury as he whispered into his ear.

After a mild staring contest between the two of us, the man relented and signalled the others to put their guns down.

"Alright motherfucker, let's talk."

I shook my head.

"Tony, get the goons out of your lab."

When Nick Fury made to protest, I locked gazes back with him.

"Agent Coulson and the redhead hiding behind Stark can stay. Mariah Hill can listen in. Everyone else, that I don't know," I raised a single finger. "Exit's that way. Those are my terms."

Tony Stark in response, promptly turned around and used a pick-up line on Black widow.

After a brief moment of Nick appraising my expression, and not finding a hint of amusement on it, the man to my surprise, begrudgingly agreed before clicking one of the earpieces he had stuck to his head.

After the extras, albeit begrudgingly, left through the aforementioned exit. Jane let out the breath she'd been holding in.

Idly giving the woman a look. I asked her if she wanted to go home.

"It might be for the best Miss Foster." Phil Coulson remarked though the man's gaze never left mine.

"I am... good. I feel like I am going to be dragged into this regardless..." She responded, warily.

"...Why do I feel like I don't want to be part of this conversation?" Bruce Banner added on, probably feeling the same way.

"Trust me, Banner, nobody wants to be part of this conversation."

"Just so we're clear, you try to pull anything and I've got fifteen squads ready to storm into the building." Nick Fury remarked taking a step back, the gun still in his hands though it no longer pointed anywhere.

Tony Stark wasn't even paying attention, the man too busy mock-flirting with an increasingly annoyed Natasha Romanov.

"Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "And how much you wanna bet most of them are Hydra?"

When Nick Fury's eye narrowed, I nodded.

"Oh yeah, it's gonna be one of those kinds of conversations. And f-y-i, I wouldn't go running to Pierce about this."

Oh, if the man's eye could get any wider, I am pretty sure he'd lose it.

"Like I told Romanov, your homeboy's one of their leaders. Don't believe me? Call him up and ask. See how many of those squads come in to put a bullet in your head."

...

Nick Fury had started to pace around, his hands in his pockets, his gun finally out of sight while Phil Coulson had started mimicking a statue, his curious, somewhat wary, gaze focused on an uncomfortable standing Bruce Banner.

Meanwhile, I turned towards Tony Stark, who'd thankfully finally stopped using terrible one-liners on a relieved Romanov.

"Hey, you get any sofa's installed here yet? I'd rather not cramp during story-telling."

"I'd appreciate it if you could take this more seriously." Nick Fury remarked, temporarily pausing his pacing.

Evidently, he was taking the whole Pierce exposure hard.

Regardless, Tony obliged, giving out an order to Jarvis.

I watched, admittedly impressed as right in the middle of his lab, a section of the floor promptly lit up and turned in on itself. The technology ontop replaced by two sofas and a large table.

I rolled my eyes at the drinks that came with it.

"Before you say anything, I had this prepared for a very different situation," The man remarked, promptly taking a middle seat on one of the sofas.

I turned towards Jane and indicated the opposite sofa, receiving a pair of rolled eyes from her as she took the seat to the left. I promptly took the one in the middle.

Following that, I immediately reached for one of the two glasses and the bottle on top of said table.

"You serious right now? I tell you to stop joking around and you decide to get drunk?" Nick Fury remarked tersely, a disbelieving expression on his face.

"What can I say?" I retorted. "Sour company needs a sour mood." Filling up a cup half-way. "'sides, it's not for me," I added on.

I promptly turned towards Jane and offered it to her, receiving a raised eyebrow in return.

"Drink."

"I thought the whole point of a relationship was that you didn't need to get her drunk for-"

"Tony. I am gonna have to stop you right there." I deadpanned, before turning my gaze back on a thoughtful Jane.

When the woman made to refuse, I shook my head.

"It's for your nerves. I know you're pretty shaken up as it is."

Jane shook her head the slightest, a smile growing on her face before she accepted the cup and took a sip- Before immediately regretting it as a wince filled her face.

"That's vintage stuff, you should be enjoying that!" Tony remarked, offended.

Jane shook her head rapidly for a moment.

I turned towards Banner and raised an eyebrow at him.

The man didn't need any further coercion as he reached for the second cup.

"Tony, think you can get us a third cup?"

"Jealous already?" The man couldn't help the snort.

I shook my head, before locking gazes with Phil Coulson.

"Think he might need it," I stated, idly watching as Tony grabbed another glass from one of the drawers on the table.

"You know, I pay you right? I shouldn't have to do this."

"I am good, thanks." The man immediately responded.

I shrugged- Before immediately twitching at the sudden sound of a glass breaking.

I gave Tony a deadpan look. The man had literally just thrown it to the side.

"What? He said he doesn't want one."

After a moment of silence, Nick Fury stopped pacing and walked up to the right side of the table, keeping all of us in view as Romanov promptly took to stand on the other side, her arms crossed. Phil Coulson took that moment to take a seat beside Stark as Banner had filled up the one to my right.

"Before I get started... Two things." I remarked, looking Fury in the eye. "One, after this conversation, we all walk away, no strings attached. No problems from whatevers left of your organization."

"You got a lot of nerve asking for that."

"We haven't caused any problems."

"I beg to differ. Want me to read out a list?"

"Doesn't matter. The information I am about to give you trumps all of that. And if you bring up his-" I pointed towards Banner. "-problems, or body-count or what have you, then I am pointing straight ahead at the former Merchant of Death himself, who you willfully asked to become an Avenger."

"Way to throw your boss under the bus." Tony Stark snorted.

Nick Fury on the other hand leveled a look at the man.

"You told him about that?"

"Didn't need to, Quack Docter already knew."

"Did he now? Because I am finding that very hard to believe."

Tony Stark didn't let up, his staring contest with the man unimpeded.

"You know what I am finding hard to believe?" The man remarked. "You're buddies with a Nazi."

"Pierce isn't a Nazi." Nick Fury fired back, gritting his teeth in the process.

"Not according to him." He pointed towards me.

Nick Fury turned his gaze towards me, his narrowed eye in full view as he restarted his pacing. "He hasn't given me any proof."

"Is that why you haven't called to ask him yourself?" Tony Stark's words were ignored, by the two of us for that matter.

"That's condition number two. I am not offering you proof, mostly because I don't really have any to give you."

"So, what, I am supposed to just take your word for it?"

"I don't remember doing it to get anything out of you. So, yeah, you are supposed to do that."

"That's a load of crap." The man remarked. "I am not going to turn in my own allies just because you said so."

I shrugged in response, leaning my head back on the sofa. "Honestly, that's not my problem. Whether you use my information or not, is entirely up to you. Just don't come crying to me if you don't and it turns out I was right anyway. Because it will turn out that way."

"Then tell me how you found out."

"If you're asking me if I hacked into any databases, no, I didn't. In fact, you could look as hard as you want, you'll never find a trail that doesn't exist."

Nick Fury promptly swept over to the sofa, his hands on the left edge of the hand-rest, momentarily causing Jane to lean away from him, and into me.

"I want to know how you know! Because if you can find out, then others can to-"

I shook my head.

"There isn't a single soul out there who could. I can assure you of that, but I figure that doesn't mean much to you."

"So, what, you got the information out of thin air?" He questioned tersely, taking his hands off the sofa though not moving any further. "Ain't that some shit."

"Doesn't mean it's not true." I shrugged. "As I said, I am just giving you names, the rest is up to you. And by the way, if I had found out through some physical means, you really think we'd be having this conversation right now?"

"Why shouldn't I take that as proof that you're full of it?"

I raised my head of the sofa and locked gazes with the man.

"Because you're still standing there. Because you're still entertaining me. Because you know deep down, that Pierce is the one that's full of shit right now."

The man started shaking his head, his hand itching at the left side of his body as he started pacing around again.

"Sir." Phil Coulson spoke up. "If all he can do is give us names, then we might as well hear him out-"

"I don't want to spend half my day looking at people the wrong way out of paranoia because of this fool." Nick Fury stated frustrated.

"He's not-" I put a hand on Jane's shoulder the moment she started to speak up, promptly earning her gaze.

Evidently, she was more offended than I was.

Shaking my head, a small smile gracing my face, I calmly told her to leave it.

"If they want to think that, let 'em. It's not my problem at the end of the day." I raised my head. "It's theirs."

The woman, in return, forced another sip of the drink, though this time she kept her wince mostly under control.

Natasha Romanov, I'll admit, seemed to be the most... I wouldn't say confused, but rather the most torn out of the three agents.

"Do you have any proof?" The red-head questioned, her voice barely above a whisper.

Wracking my head for an answer, I let out a sigh.

"It's a long shot-"

"Just say it." Widow immediately replied as Phil Coulson's expression perked up while Nick Fury temporarily paused in his steps to look at me.

"Werner Reinhardt."

A flash of something passed through both Phil and Fury's eyes at the words.

"An old man-"

"A Hydra agent your buddy released."

"For medical reasons, and he joined them under duress-" Nick Fury responded, warily.

"According to Pierce."

"That's not proof-"

"Where is he now?" I questioned calmly. "Last I checked he went straight back to his own freakin' base-"

"

That base was under S.H.I.E.L.D protection and control-" Coulson suddenly urged before immediately regretting the decision. "Which was probably been run by Hydra..."

"You don't believe this crap do you?" Nick Fury turned towards his colleague, warines lacing his eye.

"Makes sense to me."

"Wasn't asking you Stark."

"Sir... Why would we even keep that facility up and running? Unless it wasn't meant for us."

"For god sakes, Hydra died out after the second war-" Nick Fury bit out.

"And it would've stayed dead if your predecessor hadn't recruited Arnim Zola." I calmly spoke over the man. "He's been helping keep Hydra alive ever since."

"Zola's dead-"

"His body's dead. His mind isn't. Why don't you give Steve Roger's old base a tour?" I fired back, locking gazes with Fury again.

Annnd cure more pacing.

Jesus, how did this guy ever get any work done?

No wonder they're so deep in his organization.

Hydra could've probably Uber'd their way into Shield and he wouldn't have even noticed.

"By the way, Werner Reinhardt isn't actually an old man anymore," I added on, gaining his attention again. "He's running around calling himself' what's the name- Danial Whitehall? If you want to double-check that, be my guest."

Before any of them could shoot the theory down, or whatever nonsense they had planned. I promptly reached into one of the drawers in the table and was pleased to find another glass.

A glass I immediately pushed towards a very worried Phil Coulson.

"I said I was good-"

"Whitehall's responsible for indoctrinating Strucker, Hale-" Cue pale-expression. "And Sitwell."

Needless to say, Phil was heavily considering the drink before him.

"And if that one's bad, you're definitely gonna need that drink for the next one."

The man promptly started shaking his head, as he rose up from the sofa.

"Coulson-" Nick Fury started as he paused in his own pacing, watched as Coulson promptly started his own. The younger man cursing under his breath. Almost immediately, Nick Fury turned to glare at me, though he refused to say another word.

Idly pouring the other man a drink, my peripheral taking in how utterly white Natasha's knuckles currently were, I said the last name Phil Coulson wanted to hear. The man himself on the brink of likely yelling at me to shut my trap up.

"John Garret."

Phil Coulson promptly kicked the nearby wall out of frustration, the barest whisper of a curse echoing out of him.

"Coulson, these are unvalidated claims-" Nick Fury attempted to dissuade his colleague, while I sighed and let my head relax onto the sofa. I idly started drawing circles on Jane's back with my left hand. The woman was seemingly grateful at the gesture as she leaned into it the slightest.

Bruce Banner seemed to be torn between sympathy for the other, or simply relieved that no Ross's had come up.

"But what if they're not?" Phil remarked, both hands momentarily covering his face as he sat back against the wall he'd kicked.

Tony Stark was simply drinking away, almost uncaring as he watched the fireworks.

Almost.

I could tell, mostly by the vice grip he held onto the glass in his hand that he wasn't remotely happy about the situation.

Figuring I might as well give out one more name, one I figured was important enough for them to know about, I let out a sigh.

"Why don't we continue this once you've all had time to process this?"

Nick Fury turned a glare towards me.

"I'd start with Zola, in truth. Though if you're willing to hear me out, there's one more name you ought to keep track of just in case."

Gritting his teeth, Nick Fury let a terse "Which one is that?"

"Gideon Malick."

"Mother-" The man-made to curse before simply holding a fist up to his mouth and turning his gaze. "I swear on my god's damn life that if all this turns up nothing- You're gonna regret it."

I completely believed him.

"Duly noted." I deadpanned in response. "Oh, and while you're at it, you might as well just keep an eye on Rumlow."

"Got any good news?" Stark questioned, his own expression uncharacteristically wary.

I shrugged.

"Senator Stern's part of Hydra too."

The man blinked once before a deadpan expression took over.

"Dibs."

I couldn't help the snort.

When I turned my gaze back towards the two agents on the brink of a breakdown- my gaze briefly froze on Black Widow as I watched the woman take out her own glass from the table.

Ignoring that, I gave them some actual good news.

"So. Why don't we, uh, put a pin on the can of Hydra worms that Shield is and look on the bright side."

When Nick Fury gave me a disbelieving look, one filled with contempt and overall nothing good, I continued.

"Who wants to meet Captain America?"

A single beat passed.

"Motherfucker," Yikes, how many times have I made him say that already? I counted... Five? Six? Any more and I might get sued by Quentin Tarantino. "You pull Steve Rogers out of your pocket, and I'll believe every damn word that comes out of your mouth."

"Well, I don't know about pulling him out of my pocket- Pretty sure only the card-collector over there can do that. But I do know where you can find him. Well, completely frozen that is. But you know, still alive."

The man shook his head and promptly walked up towards Coulson, the two promptly settling into a private conversation of sorts.

"Shit." Black Widow, meanwhile kept her focus on, stated. "You know about the damn cards as well?"

I shrugged.

Jane Foster for some strange reason just looked incredibly relieved as she relaxed into my arm.

"Jesus, it's like you read a book on all of us. You even knew about Betty." Bruce Banner added in his own two cents.

"Not a fan of reading, more of a movie person myself. Get really bored otherwise."

Jane gave me an incredulous look at that.

"If you hadn't ruined Physics for me, I'd actually believe that."

"Ruined Physics? How does one ruin Physics exactly?" Bruce continued, though his gaze was kept on the secret agents on the fit of a breakdown.

"Whole other can of worms that one," I snorted.

"Okay, I am just gonna be the voice of reason here-" Tony Stark said that with a straight face. "-where is Steve Roger's exactly? As far as my dad was concerned, the man crashed down inside a bomber plane. Which, and I am pretty sure I don't even need to tell you. Explode!"

I idly considered telling him it hadn't in fact went down that way-

"Super-soldier Serum's a hell of a drug." I deadpanned in response.

Ah, I'll just let 'em figure that one out for themselves.

...

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