...
After essentially tearing more or less everything Nick Fury had believed in apart, Tony Stark had decided that we needed to relocate from his companies building to continue... Well, whatever it is we were doing. Wasn't exactly paying much attention.
Well, that is to say, we just had to relocate from his laboratory and after somehow convincing Nick Fury that the portal I'd made did in fact send him to one of Shield's buildings, he'd obliged to go through it.
By convince him of that, I of course mean to say that he found the idea of letting Stark or anyone else go through first and sniff around a tad worrying.
Needless to say, after getting complete proof that Sling-Ring's were bullshit, I had a feeling Nick Fury was dying to have me hand over mine, and show him how to do it.
Judging by the glare he set on me.
Jane Foster, I of course sent home first, after confirming it was her apartment. The woman had, to my surprise, been rather agreeable to the idea-
Well, presumably.
She was somewhat drunk and rather hard to make heads or tails of in terms of understanding.
Evidently, she can't handle her drink.
Still, she wasn't drunk enough to forget to get a promise out of, well, Fury, that he'd let me go in the morning.
Pretty sure she just assumed I was going to show up at her place myself.
The gall.
Bruce Banner had elected to stay in a hotel- Well, intended to at any rate. Fury, of course, hadn't agreed to that. Which was why Stark had to begrudgingly let him stay at one of his own places of accommodation, one that Fury could keep track of online.
To my own shock, the man himself hadn't been particularly bummed about the idea of having a secret spy temporarily watch over his every move. His standards for living were ridiculously low.
His complete freedom of course would come about later, once I proved once and for all that I wasn't just talking out of my ass.
Which was why I was currently ontop of the heavily camera-covered roof of the Shield-owned building, taking in New York's skyline, while Nick Fury was sending in his own agents through a few of my portals after said proof.
That being the arctic, presumably. I'd just pictured Captain America just like I did with the Banner. Albeit this time, I'd made a few different portals, each one leading to a different area in the cold continent. Each one had had a squad of agents sent through with the intention to try and triangulate his location.
After the first few hours of waiting, one filled with naught but a grieving Stark at the lost chance of an enjoyable night, I'd elected to portal to the roof while they searched around.
Evidently, as long as I was in sight of one of his cameras, Nick Fury wasn't entirely too worried about the idea.
Or maybe he just really didn't like my presence.
In regards to Coulson himself... I hadn't exactly seen signs of him since leaving Stark's building. Black Widow to for that matter.
Regardless once Fury found Captain America, Banner gets his long over-due pardon, a potential Avenger's job offer, and Jane stops been a possible target, at least by Fury.
You know, considering he'd be too busy worrying about either of them giving he'd have to comb through his entire friend's list with a fine-toothed Nazi-detector.
Not to mention with me at his side.
I let out a long sigh into the cold wind at the thought, my elbows rested on the ledge of the building as I idly watched streams of cars pass by unnoticed.
I ignored the urge to turn around and speak to the agent Fury had stealthily sent to shadow me.
I had a feeling Barton wasn't in the talking mood, and frankly, nor was I.
The silence was rather nice, in truth-
"How'd you know about her?" Barton of course chose that moment to break what little peace I'd had.
I sighed.
"Same way I knew about everyone else." I shrugged, idly glancing towards the spy, watching as he walked out from the shadows of the actual entrance into the roof, before I turned back ahead onto the nightlife.
Barton took that moment to walk up beside me, his own gaze set in the same direction though I had a feeling he wasn't paying much attention to it.
"That is?"
"You asking, or your boss?" I questioned in response.
"Does it matter?"
I shrugged again. "Not really, neither of you would believe me anyway."
I wasn't sure what the man's expression showed, though judging by the relaxed posture, he didn't seem particularly wary around me.
In fact, I'd go as far as saying he was aloof.
"You tell Stark?"
I snorted. "He'd definitely believe me," I remarked. "You know, before asking me if Cleopatra was as hot as everyone said she was."
The man did turn his gaze towards me at that, one I found my peripheral taking in. A bewildered expression had taken over.
"You've met Cleopatra? Ancient ruler chick?"
I snorted again. "Of course not. I am not that old."
The bewildered expression on his face changed, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.
"Damn. Would've liked to know if she was as hot as everyone said she was as well."
"I am quoting you if I ever meet Laura." I deadpanned, fully turning towards him, watching as the expression changed to one that was unreadable. Or passive?
Literally couldn't tell the difference with the guy.
I am pretty sure Hawkeye just had resting done-with-life face.
"Remind me to never let you meet her."
"Mhm." I nodded sagely. "Would hate to steal her from you."
The man scoffed. "She doesn't do crazy, or old for that matter."
I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Say it and I shoot another arrow at you." He deadpanned, not missing a beat.
I rolled my eyes and turned back ahead. "I believe you."
"Good." The man remarked, punctuating his words by nodding his head before a more serious expression took over. "How old are you?" He questioned, pausing for a moment before adding on- "I don't mean to pry, but dating someone much younger than you is worrying."
I gave him a deadpan look at that.
"Everyone is much younger than me."
"You brought up age first."
"I literally didn't."
"Seriously." The man remarked.
I let out a sigh at that and turned ahead again, my eyes idly picking up a potential mugging going down. Before I could even think to do something about it, that been open up a portal of sorts, I watched as Hawkeye instinctively took up the bow and arrow behind his back and took a shot. The arrow landing just behind the earphone-wearing victim and in front of the potential criminal. The action enough to set the man running in the opposite direction, the potential victim completely unaware.
"You get orders for that?"
"No. I'd be an ass not to help though."
Which, really was the crux of the matter of it all for me, wasn't it?
I... hadn't really wanted to help anyone at all. Not at first anyway... Yet, here I was, practically helping to bring Captain America out of ice, and more or less giving Fury a road map to possible problems in the future.
I'd thought the hero-complex I'd gained so long ago had died out in my wizardly adventure...
Evidently, I just couldn't help myself.
When I'd helped The Ancient One deal with Dormammu I'd convinced myself it was for a Sling-ring, and possibly get access to the time-stone. When I'd helped Stark get over his poisoning it was because I figured he'd realize it later anyway and it wouldn't really do much long-term. When I'd helped with Vanko, it was more or less to repay him for the fact he'd turned a blind eye to my robbing him.
Bruce Banner... I'd just genuinely felt bad for-
I let out another long sigh.
Maybe instead of trying and failing to end a reincarnation cycle, I ought to just get rid of my emotions. They're not good for my health and sanity.
If not for them I'd be single, free-of-responsibility, an even bigger dick than I already was and... probably a borderline evil dictator.
I can certainly still recall my tenure as Kira.
I gazed upwards, somewhat glad to see the stars were all in the right place.
It took me a moment further before I realized Clint Barton was still waiting for an answer.
"I am, give or take a hundred, probably going into my fifth or even sixth century now," I answered. "I stopped counting a long time ago."
The man didn't so much as blink an eye at the answer.
"And you think that's not hard to believe?"
I shrugged.
"Honestly man, I really don't care if you do or not. But it's the truth."
The man after a moment shrugged himself.
"Eh, in that case, might as well tell me how you know anyway, right?"
I rolled my eyes, and for a brief moment considered just not saying anything, before I figured, what the hell? It might not be the exact truth, given the exact truth really would just paint me as either delusional, insane, or frankly just mad.
I wasn't particularly sure what was the difference between each one.
"When you cross universes, you get a brief glimpse of the biggest blips in its timeline."
I watched the man's expression as he took in the words, his eyes blinking once, twice before-
They narrowed?
Tilting my head, I made to ask before I watched him place a single finger on the earpiece he wore.
"Nick Fury heard all that?" I questioned with a snort, idly wondering if the man had just gotten another headache-
"No. Though I am somewhat confused as to where Laura comes into all of it."
"She doesn't. You do. She just gets dragged along."
"Damn." Was his eloquent response. "Though for what it's worth, you should tell Fury that if you want him to get off your ass about it."
I blinked in response, somewhat taken back as I appraised the man's expression further, finding no hints of suspicions- Though he was a well-trained spy, not that it'd help much given my experience with literal ninjas.
"You really believe me then?" I questioned curiously.
The man shrugged. "Kinda have to now... They just found Steve Rogers body,"
"Cool. I've always wanted to meet a capsicle." I grinned as I turned around and opened up a portal downstairs.
Whatever he'd been about to say disappeared as he blinked again before shaking his head.
"That's going to take some getting used to."
I wasn't sure if he was referring to the words, or the portal- My brain says portal, my sense of humor says words.
I'll go with words because clearly, judging by the trainwreck I'd turned this timeline into, my brain wouldn't know a good decision even if Stan Lee broke character and said it himself.
I idly made a mental note to meet the fucker in one of his cameos.
"You can blame your boss," I snorted in response.
"I blame my luck."
I rolled my eyes as I began to walk through.
"Please, you need to have luck in the first place before you can blame it."
...
I whistled as I took in Steve Roger's ice-encased body the moment I came through the portal.
Looking around, I was surprised to note the fact there were no other agents, barring Fury, Coulson? and Barton- which wasn't surprising given he'd come with me.
I was bummed out, in truth. Was really looking forward to meeting Robin Sparkles.
I blinked the moment my eyes landed on Phil Coulson, currently standing in the back, his shadowed eyes eery as the man seemingly appraised me- Or tried to burn a hole through me with his eyes? Couldn't really tell.
It wasn't the same room as the one I'd left earlier, unlike that office, this one seemed to be filled with a bunch of tech and computers, with Nick Fury currently stood next to a fair number of monitors as he seemingly looked over the information. I knew he'd noticed our presence, mostly because-
"Quack Docter, you really pulled the capsicle out of the hat, I am impressed." Tony Stark deadpanned, his humor seemingly unbroken by the knowledge half the universe was probably going to end up relying on him.
"Ah." Barton's voice filtered through behind me. "That's what you meant. Just got it." The man deadpanned, nodding once.
I turned a look towards him wondering what the hell he was-
"The capsicle thing. Wasn't sure what you were talking about." Barton remarked, idly walking up towards Coulson's location.
I blinked once and promptly shrugged and turned back towards Steve Roger's body.
Tony Stark however felt he couldn't let that one go.
"Really? I understand using your secrets to help stop every conspiracy nutjob's wet dream from happening, but stealing my jokes? That's going too far." My employer remarked, narrowing his eyes as he crossed his arms.
I rolled my eyes and locked gazes with him, a smile slowly growing on my face.
"Tony. I am quite sure that's not what you're thinking right now." I remarked, turning my gaze back to Steve Roger. "We have here with us, a 40's relic about to wake up in the future."
A light of understanding filtered through the man's face as a small grin slowly started growing on it.
"You thinking what I am thinking?" The former Merchant questioned, hints of giddy realization echoing in waves out of him.
I nodded.
"Virtual simulation of an asteroid belt, convince him the earth blew up and he's the last survivor!"
A single beat passed, one with Tony Stark owlishly blinking at me the moment I finished.
"...I was thinking we wake him up in a strip club."
I blinked in response.
Huh.
Captain America in a strip club.
Another beat passed before I shrugged further.
"Asteroid belt strip club?"
The man clicked his fingers.
"Lap dance around the sun, hell of a way to start-"
Phil Coulson chose that moment to make his presence known, audibly taking a few steps closer towards us, with a... I wouldn't say an angry expression, but yeah, he looked somewhat angry.
"If you two can stop joking around for one-"
"Coulson." Nick Fury's voice was eerily calm as the man spoke up from beside the monitors, his body turning around to the rest of us. "Just leave it be." He remarked shaking his head, a tired expression taking over before he settled his gaze on Stark. "I take it you got the best technology on hand to get him back to full functionality?" He questioned indicating the frozen popsicle.
Stark shrugged in return. "If I don't already, I will."
Nick Fury nodded once before turning towards me, an unreadable expression on his face- The eyepatch really made it difficult to read the guy.
For a few moments, he simply stared at me, almost unsure of what to say for some strange reason.
Honestly, I'd figured him to get on my case about how this doesn't really prove anything-
"I have your word you'll come through if I give you a call?"
I blinked in response.
"You sticking to our deal this time?"
He nodded once.
"Then sure, you got my word."
A single beat passed before he nodded again.
"Good. As soon as he wakes up, I am enlisting you to take down Zola. You're free to go... annoy someone else or whatever it is you do."
I raised a single finger.
"Don't... Just don't say that, makes it sound like I work for you." I deadpanned. "One asshole employer's enough."
"I am standing right here Quack Doctor."
I turned towards Stark and raised an eyebrow.
"Just pointing that out."
Nick Fury took in a deep breath, muttered something we couldn't hear, and continued.
"Banner will have his pardon by the morning. Jane Foster's officially out of my sights. Like we agreed."
"This means you believe me now?" I questioned with a grin.
"You know, I was really hoping you wouldn't pull through."
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Go, and take Stark with you. I've just about had it with his humor."
"Dad was right, the whole worlds against you," Stark remarked exasperatedly shaking his head.
"You still keeping an eye on me?" I questioned Fury, ignoring Stark for the moment.
"If you don't answer my call, I will."
"Oh? I'll be sure to leave some hentai on for you to watch." I smiled at the man, crossing my arms.
"Get the hell out of my office before I change my mind."
"Sir, if I may-"
"Coulson, let it go." Nick Fury immediately stated as he turned towards him, an unnerving expression taking over his face for a moment before he turned back towards me. "Actually, one more thing." He added on, watching me as I stopped spinning my hand.
"No. Teleporters not for sale," I deadpanned immediately.
The man let out a terse sigh at the words before shrugging.
"Was actually going to ask you what your name was."
"No, you weren't."
"No, I wasn't. But you might as well tell me anyway."
I thought about it for a moment.
"Frosties still hasn't earned the right to call me by my name, you're gonna have to try harder." I deadpanned.
The man raised a single eyebrow. "You really are an asshole aren't you."
"I am not lying."
"My point exactly." He remarked shaking his head before turning towards Stark. "Universe has a hell of a sense of humor bringing you two together."
Before Tony Stark could object, I promptly opened a portal to his lab and led the annoyed man through.
Mostly because I didn't want Fury to suddenly change his mind.
Though the moment we went through, Tony Stark chose that moment to immediately, and finally ask what had happened to his parents.
Needless to say, that conversation wasn't nearly as fun as the one I had with Fury.
...
(Nick Fury)
He... just stared at Captain America's frozen body, for perhaps too long. His own body unmoving, his mind practically frozen.
What he would've given for the chance to recruit the man before him, the first honest-to-god genuine superhero.
The man that had buried Hydra underground.
Well, as it turned out, that was a little more definitive than he'd like.
And... from a certain point of view, these weren't even the worst ways for him to have found him.
Frankly... The universe may have finally paid him back for the life he'd practically given up for the sake of his country.
If only it didn't taste so... sour.
"Sir... I can't say I agree with giving h-" Coulson was, for all intents and purposes right. But...
"I almost fucked it all up." Nick Fury stated resigned and tired as he let out a long sigh. "The man came hat in hand, told me secrets presidents could die for- secrets presidents probably did die for..." He shook his head. "And I was so sure of myself, I almost told him to shove it." He turned a heavy expression towards Coulson.
"...He might still be wrong... Not to mention he's a national security risk-"
He let out a humorless laugh.
"Stark's brain is a national security risk, and besides, you heard him yourself. He's worried about bigger shit than Shield. He doesn't have a reason to lie."
"..."
"I know it stings." He added on. "And we'll find out soon enough if this-" He indicated Steve Rogers. "-wasn't just a fluke. But, right now... I am inclined to listen. A lot of pieces suddenly make more sense, in hindsight."
Coulson didn't say anything in response to that, his eyes heavy as he nodded once.
Honestly? Humility sucked, as far he was concerned, but it was good.
"I like him." Barton deadpanned, taking his attention as he walked up towards them.
...
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