...

"Is it just me, or has everyone you met so far threatened to kill and or imprison you in some way?" Tony Stark questioned me over my Asgardian adventure, as he paced around outside the room before us impatiently.

"You didn't." I pointed out in response, idly leaning against the wall opposite the entrance to the room, my gaze settled onto the phone in hand, watching as Jane's non-step texts regarding my history came through.

"I am a reasonable guy. Actually, I am the most reasonable guy you'll ever meet."

I idly wondered who was next in line to threaten me on contact- I wonder what Thanos was going to threaten me with? I should really start thinking of an icebreaker for the inevitable fucker.

Still, in the end, regarding the whole name and Jane thing, I'd just elected to give her my original one, the one I'd been born with- And as expected, the laws of my origin had prevented her from outright saying it. Given, I'd explained the concept of my multi-versal travels, I'd then elected to give her my most recent name.

I figured it was the tamest one in terms of historic dickhead-ness that I had. You, know barring my stint as Aizen Sosuke which was just beyond ludicrous to believe.

Still, she'd had a hard time accepting the fact that I was, at one point, named Sirius Black.

I wasn't entirely sure she believed me- though judging by the questions, I had a feeling she wanted to.

Apparently, she'd only ever read the first three books- Before 'growing up' and focusing on her obscenely incorrect university degree.

'What was Hogwarts like!?'

It hadn't taken much to convince her of the truth, really. Mostly because up until the day before she'd never thought Asgardians were real, which probably helped overall.

'It was like a mental asylum for children.'

Her three-dot response earned a chuckle out of me. And honestly? I meant every word.

You didn't have to be insane to study and live at that castle- But it sure as hell helped.

"Earth to Quack Doctor?" Tony Stark interrupted my mobile conversation as he clicked his fingers before my face.

"Yes?"

Tony Stark indicated his head towards the door. "I think they're ready for us- Capscicle's stopped punching the bed."

"Cool." I shrugged and followed him through.

...

Steve Rogers' attention shifted from the wary and very tired Nick Fury towards the two of us as we walked through the door. His eyes practically piercing through the both of us as he seemingly appraised us. He was currently sat down on top of his bed, both hands crossed over each other.

I idly noted the fact Nick Fury was the only shield agent around, Coulson nowhere to be seen- Which was odd enough on its own in truth.

I'd figured the fanboy would want to be meet his hero- Though he was probably still dealing with the fact half of his circle of friends were borderline Nazis.

Which, you know, was fair.

If I was a secret agent who could barely trust anyone enough to consider them a friend, finding out my taste in said friends involved amoral evil dicks would probably sour my mood somewhat as well.

Still, the moment Steve Rogers opened his mouth to speak, I watched as Tony Stark immediately made to speak over him in some sort of power move of sorts-

Needless to say, I beat both of them to the punch as the flash on my phone quickly flooded the room.

"...You do understand this is supposed to be confidential?" Nick Fury sighed, a single hand covering his face.

I nodded and promptly saved the photo for later use.

"Just want to show Foster what she's missing out on by being exclusive with me."

Steve Rogers, to his credit, didn't bat an eye. "You must be-"

"Quack Doctor." Tony Stark deadpanned immediately before he turned towards me with a pointed finger. "And that was biased. Didn't even get his good side."

I snorted.

Nick Fury sighed again as he leaned against the wall.

Steve turned his gaze towards Tony Stark, appraising him for a moment as he uncrossed his hands and stood up off the bed. "You must be Howard's son."

"Howard huh? Must've been real close, he never let me call him that."

"You look like him."

"You look like the statue I once saw in a museum."

I promptly walked up to stand beside Nick Fury, waving a hand as my other pocketed the phone. "I'll just be here while you two get the dick-waving contest out of the way."

My words immediately turned Steve Roger's attention towards me.

"Ooh, there's a question I've always wanted an answer to- Does the Serum affect the size of your-" Tony, of course. was just being himself.

"I am not answering that." Steve immediately answered, though his gaze never left me.

"You ever get the chance to use it post-"

"Stark. There are bigger things to worry about than my love life."

"Was more asking about your sex-life-" Tony shrugged, before momentarily pausing. "That is if you've ever had one- Is Captain America a virgin!? Someone call a reporter-"

I turned my gaze to an increasingly impatient Fury. "So, anything new with you?"

"No." The man remarked tersely, still watching the non-sensical argument before him grow- Steve's patience slowly getting the better of him. "You? I heard you went off the grid. Had me worried there for a second."

"Nothing much. Asgard kidnapped me, I insulted their king, dealt with an Eldritch bitch, and broke an ancient weapon."

"...Tell me you're joking."

"I am joking."

"I don't believe you."

"You really shouldn't. It's all good, though, they're not gonna invade us or anything- King's a bit of a pussy."

"..."

"Yes, I called him out for it."

"I didn't ask."

"I know. But you thought it."

"...You know what, not my problem. If they ask, I am just going to hand you over."

I chuckled at the sheer indifference that poured out of the eyepatched secret agent before my focus shifted back towards Steve Roger- The man had walked over towards the two of us against the wall as Tony Stark immediately sat down on his bed.

"What, the government budget couldn't afford a more comfortable bed?" The man's remark was ignored by the rest, though I couldn't help but add on to it.

"I am pretty sure I saw that mattress in a garbage dump a few days ago-"

"Hey." Steve Roger promptly called out towards me, the man a couple of feet away as he appraised me. His gaze staring at the tattoo on top of my head before lowering down to my eyes. "I hear you're responsible for my rescue."

"You can not thank me for it later. I know how you feel about cursing."

Something flashed across his eyes at the words.

"Trust me, I know better than anyone here what it's like to wake up out of time. It sucks." I added on.

For a single moment, he held my gaze before tipping his head the slightest.

"Fury here says you're also responsible for figuring out Hydra's continued existence."

"Well, someone had to do it."

The man nodded again, carefully.

"I look forward to working with you."

"That's 'cos you don't know him yet." Tony snorted from his side.

Steve turned a quick gaze towards the other before turning back to me.

"Just so we're clear, if and when I inevitably decapitate someone's head off, I am not a hero. So don't give me crap for it then."

"..." Steve continued regarding me for whatever reason, his silence stretching out by the moment before- "Your eyes tell a different story."

"...Are you hitting on me? 'cos I am taken." I immediately deadpanned in response, the words creasing the other's face into a more... Amused? Expression.

"...Fury says you'll be the go-to for this mission. Anything I should know before we get started?"

I idly put a finger on my chin at the words, barely managing to hold back from grinning at the other.

I was after all rather late to come through here when Tony called- He'd just assumed that I was busy with Jane but, well...

"Well, for one thing, I just want to make what we do with robot Zola clear," I remarked easily, watching as Fury seemed to tense for a moment before narrowing his eye at an amused Tony Stark.

Apparently, he hadn't told him already.

"Which is?" Steve raised an eyebrow at me.

I promptly pulled out the calculator.

"I want to install him inside this- Make him into a Nazi-scanner to find the rest of them."

Nick Fury had the most gobsmacked expression on his face at the words, the man literally speechless as he switched gazes between me, Stark, and said calculator.

Steve Roger, on the other hand, didn't bat an eye-lid as he nodded.

"Technologies' really come far-"

When Nick Fury made to speak up, Tony Stark immediately cut in as he nodded his head rapidly. "Yes, it really has- You should see what we can do with toasters."

After a moment of silence at the words, "Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Nick Fury remarked through grit teeth as he walked out of the room, one finger on the earpiece on the left side of his head.

"Oh, right, almost forgot!-" I added on, grabbing Steve Roger's attention again. The man taking a single step back as I started spinning my hand before me. "Here's a little welcome back gift." His eyes widened the slightest as his lips turned into a thin line at the sight of the portal opening up before him.

With a grin, I reached inside and grabbed onto the specimen I'd hidden away in Bruce's hotel room. (With his permission of course... Sort of.)

Promptly pulling him out, I watched as Steve roger's expression practically broke as a hoarse whisper left through his mouth. Even as Stark seemed to momentarily close his eyes while shaking his head in the process before letting a tired sigh.

"Steve Roger mee-" Whatever I'd been about to say was promptly interrupted as the man in question immediately grabbed hold of his long-time friend out of my hand.

"B-Bucky!?"

"Talk about rude. And I thought he had better manners." I deadpanned towards Tony Stark, the strained smile on his face admittedly relieving.

I'd expected him to go off the handle immediately.

Steve ignored both of us, as well as the panicked Nick Fury who'd run back into the room at the exclamation.

I immediately raised both hands up.

"It's cool, I put a wristband on him! He's not going to kill anyone for Hydra!"

Judging by the looks from the Secret agent, and former hero, I had a feeling they were going to need more of an explanation than that.

Tony Stark's face-palm really said it all.

...

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