And on we go! Bit of a longer one for you today, I hope you enjoy and let me know your thoughts. Many thanks as always to purple-pygmy-puff16, Filisgirl251, MissRuthless, ValarenOfGondor, Beatrice3, SarahWeasley and DawnScarlet19610 for your lovely reviews on the last chapter, I always love reading from you guys.


It was strange to be back on the road. Though Bilbo had always known that he would be going back home eventually, – in fact, it had been one of the things that had driven him on in the direst situations –, this was not how he had expected to leave the mountain. It felt odd to be travelling without the dwarves now and he already missed them only a few days after they had departed from Erebor. On their way to the mountain, most of their nights had been filled with stories and laughter, even music sometimes. Well, the hobbit thought with a slight shake of his head, the nights when they hadn't been running from orcs or spiders, or other things that wanted them dead. Now, however, both the days and nights were mostly quiet. He rode with Gandalf and Arinna, both of whom did not say very much. Gandalf sometimes would be struck with a talkative mood and would converse with Bilbo for a good while, or just listened to what the hobbit had to say.

Arinna, however, only spoke when spoken to, which saddened Bilbo greatly. She was not the woman he had come to know during this journey. The light in her green eyes seemed to have vanished and she never smiled anymore. She simply rode in silence, ate in silence, slept or kept watch – without ever uttering any of her thoughts, though Bilbo could see that they were whirling in her head all the time. Of course, he still tried talking to her every now and again when he thought the moment was right, and he noticed that she did try to make an effort to respond whenever he did, but it was not the same. She was not the same.

They travelled around Mirkwood this time, Gandalf saying it was too dangerous to take the Elven Road again, and though it took them longer this way, Bilbo concurred whole-heartedly, unwilling to chance another run-in with those nasty spiders. And indeed, the longer path allowed Bilbo to try and enjoy the new kinds of land they were now travelling. There was still so much to see of the world.

They rode north for several days and then followed the outskirts of the Grey Mountains to the West uninterrupted. Then Gandalf led them South, along the edges of Mirkwood, and it was after several days of riding that way that Bilbo suddenly began to recognise his surroundings again, seeing the great shape of the Carrock standing out in the distance.

"We may take refuge with Beorn for a few days," Gandalf announced, following Bilbo's gaze. He cleared his throat slightly, shooting a small glance over his shoulder to where the druid was riding along on her brown pony, a little distance behind them. She was looking around as well, though her expression was unreadable. "We will restock our provisions and rest for a while, before we go on."

"It will be nice to see him again," Bilbo uttered with a small smile, nodding at the wizard.

They reached Beorn's house late that evening and the skin-changer welcomed them with open arms. There was none of the suspicion left that had welcomed them upon their first arrival in his lands many months ago. Beorn offered them shelter, food and the comfort of warm beds. Travelling through the winter, Bilbo was more than glad to have stopped here. On their first night, the skin-changer told them that he had also been at the battle and that he had returned home the very next day, travelling through the lands in his bear form.

"I was sorry to hear about Thorin Oakenshield," Beorn spoke over a large pint of ale that night, as they were sat in front of the fire together. "And the young one –"

"Kili," Gandalf provided quietly, giving a solemn nod. "Indeed. A great tragedy."

"Azog nearly succeeded, then," Beorn uttered. "Breaking the line of Durin. Though, I hear one sits on the throne of Erebor even today."

Gandalf let out a small sigh, nodding his head. He glanced up at the skin-changer as he answered. "Yes. Thorin's nephew, Fili, assumed the throne. Though he is young and inexperienced, and after such tragedy, it will take time for him to grow into his role. But I have every confidence that he will restore Erebor to its former glory, given the time."

Beorn nodded his agreement, even though he barely had come to know the blond dwarf, taking a sip of his ale. Meanwhile, Bilbo had followed the conversation silently and now noticed how Arinna got up, as the skin-changer and wizard continued their conversation. She excused herself quietly and the hobbit watched her make her way over to her bedroll, going to bed hours before the rest of them.

When Bilbo woke up the next morning, he found her already gone. He only found her after breakfast, when he left the house to explore some of Beorn's garden once more. The druid was sat on the steps in front of the house, seemingly lost in thought. She only noticed him when he had already sat down beside her and cleared his throat quietly. Bilbo sent her a soft smile as she turned her head to look at him in surprise.

"You were up early," the hobbit said.

Arinna gave him a short nod, and again, Bilbo could see the effort it took her to participate in the conversation. "Yes. I had trouble sleeping."

"I do, too, some nights," Bilbo agreed, letting out a small breath. There were nights when he had nightmares, though he suspected that the ones that plagued Arinna's sleep were much worse than his. He had noticed her tossing and turning many nights during their journey here. "Have you talked to Gandalf about it? Perhaps he could provide some sort of potion, or –"

"I do not wish to numb myself to sleep, Bilbo," she answered tiredly, though she sent him an apologetic look. "But I appreciate your concern."

"I am concerned, you know," Bilbo said quietly, looking at her intently. She lowered her gaze in return. "I just… I care about you, Arinna. You are my friend, and I can see that you are changed. It is as though all your joy has been stolen from you."

He waited for a moment, continuing quietly, when she did not reply. "Are you sure that leaving the mountain was the right choice?"

"There was no right or wrong choice," Arinna answered after a long moment of silence, her voice heavy with sadness, though she did not cry. It was as though her tears had run out some time ago. She looked up at Bilbo with a slight shake of her head. "I had to go. It was the only choice I could make."

"But you love Fili."

A sad smile pulled at the druid's lips at the hobbit's simple words of truth. She inclined her head, nodding slightly. "I do. But it… it is not enough. My love, or his, if it still exists. It is not enough to bridge the space between us, to undo what has happened."

Bilbo let out a deep sigh, watching the druid for a long moment. She averted her gaze and looked out over the grassy field in front of Beorn's house for a while, remembering how she had sat on these very steps with Kili some months ago, when the brunet dwarf had encouraged her to end the argument with his brother. She still remembered what they had been fighting about. She remembered how she had called Fili reckless, though really, she had just been worried about his safety, and how he had said that maybe he wouldn't have to be so reckless if she were able to actually protect herself. The druid felt a slight pang of pain in her heart at the memory of his words. He had been right, even then, she could see that now. Had she been more capable, Kili would not have had to risk his life for her.

"Alright," Bilbo said beside her, ripping her out of her thoughts as he stood abruptly. The druid shot him a confused look when he held out his arm toward her, motioning pointedly. "Come on."

Arinna hesitated, before she slowly got up and let the hobbit link his arm with hers. "Where are we going?" she asked, still confused, as Bilbo began to lead her to the back of the house.

"I may not be able to give back what you've lost," the hobbit uttered gently as he walked with her down toward Beorn's garden. "But I will do my best to bring back your smile."

Arinna could only shake her head in slight wonder, though she followed Bilbo without protest. As they approached the garden, which was partly covered in snow, Arinna remembered the many bees that had populated this area when they had last been here. Though it was winter, Beorn's garden still held much beauty. Great pine and oak trees stood tall around them and the white snow blanket that covered the ground and bushes gave their surroundings a strange calm. Arinna walked silently with Bilbo until he came to a halt in front of one of the large oak trees.

"Here," he said, pulling something from his pocket. "I want to show you something."

"An acorn," the druid muttered, her confusion rising once more as the hobbit held the small object out to her on his palm. He nodded.

"It's from this very tree," he explained slowly. "I took it with me when we left here."

His words stirred a small memory in the druid's mind, remembering how he had told her that he had taken it when they had first departed Beorn's lands. Arinna shook her head, not quite knowing what to say as she looked the hobbit in the eye. "You've carried it all this way?"

"Yes," he answered quietly, closing his fingers around the acorn gently. He let out a small breath, studying her for a moment before he went on. "I am taking it home with me. I'm going to plant it in my own garden, in Bag End. And one day it will grow, and every time I look at it, I will remember. Remember everything that happened, the good, the bad… And how lucky I am that I've made it home."

The druid drew in a sharp breath, pressing her lips together at the hobbit's words. He looked at her kindly as they bore right into her heart, and she had to work to suppress the tears that she had thought to be spent.

"It is a promise, you see," Bilbo uttered, using his free hand to grasp hers and give it a gentle squeeze. "A promise of hope. There is always hope for a new beginning. Because… because when faced with death and such sadness, what can anyone do? You go on living, Arinna."

She wiped the few tears that had escaped her eyes from her cheeks, breathing out shakily as she returned the hobbit's gesture, giving his hand a grateful squeeze. She could not think of what to say, though it was again Bilbo who spoke, his voice filled with kindness as he gave her a small smile.

"Don't despair, my friend," he said. "You will find yourself again."

Arinna moved forward then and wrapped her arms around Bilbo, pulling him into a tight hug. He returned it gladly, one hand rubbing lightly over her back as they stood out there in the snow together, beneath the large oak tree.


They stayed at Beorn's for nearly two weeks and Bilbo was sad to leave when the day came, though he was also looking forward to getting home. He waved at the skin-changer as they rode away from his lands, and he looked over to see Arinna doing the same. The druid's demeanour had softened slightly over the past days, and a few times, Bilbo had even thought that she was close to a smile, though it never truly came.

"We will make for Rivendell," Gandalf explained to them as they made their camp that night, out in the wilderness once more. "And then it will be only a few more weeks until we reach the Shire."

Bilbo just nodded, preparing a fire, which Gandalf lit easily with the tip of his staff. Though Bilbo knew by now how to build a fire out in the wild, having learned from the dwarves, he was glad for the bit of magic that Gandalf provided. It did make things easier, after all. They ate in a comfortable silence and were sat up still a while later. Bilbo's gaze was wandering between Gandalf and Arinna, lingering on the druid for a few seconds more each time. She was sat by the fire, warming her hands, though she had not said anything since supper. Bilbo could see her retreating into the realm of her own thoughts again, and wasn't sure how good it was if she spent too much time there.

"I have… I have written a song," he uttered finally into the silence, clearing his throat loudly when both of his companions looked over at him in surprise. Gandalf drew his eyebrows together slightly while he was puffing on his pipe, though he said nothing, his gaze instead wandering toward the druid, who had sat up slightly.

"A song?" Arinna asked, her soft voice carrying a slight tinge of disbelief. She shook her head slightly when Bilbo gave a quick nod. "Well… may we hear it?"

Bilbo, though having hoped that she would ask, blushed slightly. He looked at Gandalf, who was watching him out of knowing blue eyes, before he gave him an encouraging nod, curious to hear the song himself.

He hadn't had a chance to write down any of the words yet, intending to do so once he reached Bag End. But he remembered them well enough. And so, Bilbo cleared his throat slightly, bracing himself, before he began to sing quietly.

"Roads go ever ever on,

Over rock and under tree,

By caves where never sun has shone,

By streams that never find the sea;

Over snow by winter sown,

And through the merry flowers of June,

Over grass and over stone,

And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on

Under cloud and under star,

Yet feet that wandering have gone

Turn at last to home afar.

Eyes that fire and sword have seen

And horror in the halls of stone

Look at last on meadows green

And trees and hills they long have known."

Silence hung over the camp as he ended, wringing his hands slightly as he looked at Gandalf. The wizard sent him a smile, nodding approvingly, and as the hobbit looked over at Arinna, he realised that she was smiling at him, as well.

"It's beautiful," she uttered, the soft smile still playing on her lips as Bilbo waved her compliment away with his hand. "Really, Bilbo. I love it."

"Thank you," he answered with a bashful smile of his own, though he was more than happy to see her kind eyes twinkle in the firelight. It had been too long since she had smiled like that.

"I did not know you had such a sweet voice, my friend," Gandalf uttered cheerfully, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his own smile as Bilbo blushed again. Arinna's smile widened slightly as she watched him, before her gaze wandered back to the fire before her. The words of Bilbo's song resounded in her head still when she went to sleep that night.


After another few weeks of travelling, they finally reached the valley of Imladris. As they approached the city of Rivendell on horseback, Bilbo was reminded of its immense beauty. His eyes wandered around the place with wonder, as they had done on his first visit. There was a serene beauty here, a reassuring calm that invaded his senses and his thoughts. It felt good to be back in Rivendell.

Lord Elrond was waiting to greet them at the gates like old friends. He shared a few words in Sindarin with Gandalf, nodding for one of the other Elves to take his horse and their ponies to the stables.

"I assure you, they will be well cared for," the Elf lord said kindly, noticing as Bilbo watched his pony being led away with some trepidation. The hobbit shot him a slightly apologetic smile, inclining his head in thanks.

"I don't doubt it," he said earnestly. "It's just that Petal likes to be fed an apple every evening."

Lord Elrond smiled in slight surprise, nodding at the hobbit as he motioned for them to follow him inside his halls. "I am sure that can be arranged, Master Baggins."

They were invited to dine with the Elf lord that night and were provided with the best food that they had eaten in weeks, since leaving Beorn's house. The feast brought out their tiredness very soon though, and so Bilbo and Arinna excused themselves quite early and left Gandalf and Lord Elrond to talk among themselves. They walked together along the quiet hallways toward their respective chambers, which were situated right beside each other. As Arinna opened the door to her chamber and said good night, she noticed the hesitation in Bilbo's face. She tilted her head at him, as she studies his features.

"You're going to find Petal and feed her that apple yourself, aren't you?" she asked in slight amusement, feeling a wave of affection wash over her, as Bilbo just gave a slight shrug, looking at her sheepishly. On the whole journey here, he had always taken a moment at night to give Petal a special treat, the druid couldn't help but find it endearing. She smiled slightly and nodded, motioning for him to go as she stepped into her chamber. She listened to his quiet footsteps leading down the hall before she turned away and closed the door behind her.

A small sigh fell from her lips as she made her way toward the large, comfortable looking bed that stood in the middle of the chamber. In the silence of the room, she suddenly felt a rush of loneliness overwhelm her, letting herself sink down onto the mattress weakly. She wondered how long it would take her to get used to the feeling.

It was easier not to think about him during the day, when she was riding along with her two companions on the back of her shaggy brown pony. Bilbo was surprisingly good at keeping her mind occupied with other things, and it had become easier for her over the past weeks to let him do so. But in moments like these, when she was alone with her thoughts and the silence, the feeling came rushing back, along with her sadness, sometimes with such force that it took her breath away.

The druid stood slowly, discarding the bow and sword she always carried with her. She carefully put the Elvish weapons down on a table by the window, before she took a few steps to look out onto the evening lights of Rivendell. Her hand softly brushed against the white curtain that covered the side of the window, trying not to think of the face of the blond dwarf that always threatened to invade her thoughts. It was no use though, her inner eye had already conjured him up in front of her and the druid stared at the face she saw in the window's reflection, instead of her own.

She reached up her hand, her fingers brushing lightly over the glass. Fili did not smile, his pale blue eyes piercing as her fingertip brushed against the contours of his cheek. Arinna blinked, and he was gone. It was now once more her own reflection that was staring back at her, though she hardly recognised herself. Her face was pale and thin, dark circles under her eyes, though at least the bruises and scratches she had carried away from the battle had almost healed completely by now. As the druid studied her own face, her eyes suddenly fell on the braid that her reflection was still wearing behind her ear and her fingers tapped lightly against the glass, right where she saw the small metal clasp that held it together.

Suddenly, a sharp knock sounded at her door and the druid jumped, startled by the loud noise in the otherwise silent room. Arinna took a deep breath and turned her back on the window, shaking her head slightly as she made her way toward the door.

"Arinna! Are you asleep? Open up!" Bilbo called loudly from outside, causing the druid to frown slightly at his agitated voice. She increased her speed, reaching the door with a few steps and pulling it open swiftly. She looked at the hobbit with concern as she found him standing outside in the hallway.

"Bilbo, are you alright?" she asked, frowning when he just nodded quickly in return, before he suddenly reached out and grabbed her hand. The druid stumbled after him dumbly, letting herself be pulled with him as the door to her chamber fell closed behind her. "What are you doing? Bilbo, is everything alright?"

She stumbled down the hallway behind him, as he didn't provide an answer, and she pulled slightly on his hand but the hobbit didn't stop. He led her down another long hallway, then around a corner and out into the open air, and Arinna shivered slightly as the cold wind enveloped her.

"Bilbo!" she called quietly, not wanting to raise her voice too much and alert anyone. Her friend came to a short halt, shooting a glance over his shoulder.

"What?"

"Where on earth are we going?"

Bilbo smiled, a bright smile that surprised the druid. She blinked in confusion as he just nodded forward, motioning for her to follow. "You'll see," he said, the excited smile still playing on his lips as he pulled her along again.

This time Arinna followed silently, knowing that she wouldn't get a proper answer if she asked again anyway. Bilbo led her down a few steps and around another corner, seemingly knowing exactly where to go. The druid's frown deepened when they finally arrived at an enclosed meadow and she looked around in confusion as she realised that they were at the stables. Bilbo led her to the very edge of the fence, before he finally let go of her hand. Arinna shot him a questioning look, her confusion only rising.

"Is something wrong with Petal?" Arinna asked with some concern, trying to make sense of why they were here, but Bilbo just shook his head and pointed at something up ahead. The druid sighed and followed his gesture, looking around the meadow where a few horses were grazing underneath the rising moon.

They were beautiful beasts, she thought, several white ones standing out in the dark. They were peaceful and calm. And, in one corner, Arinna could see Petal grazing along with the others mindlessly. She was about to turn back to Bilbo with a question on her lips, when she saw it.

A dun-coloured pony, standing at the far edge of the meadow.

Her heart stopped for a moment; her breath caught in her throat. Whatever she had meant to say to Bilbo had gone straight out of her head as she stared across the field, unable to believe her eyes. But there was no mistaking it. The druid raised both her shaking hands to the fence, feeling Bilbo's gaze on her back as she instinctively lifted herself up and climbed over it. Her feet landed on the other side of it with a soft thud in the grass.

"Lithen!"

The pony's ears perked up and the druid watched as it slowly raised its head from where it had been grazing. Arinna felt her heart ache when she saw her loyal steed look over toward her, before he made a few slow steps forward, as though he wasn't quite sure it was truly her. She raised her hand to her mouth and gave a short whistle, watching as Lithen perked up further at the familiar sound. He suddenly fell into a fast trot and made his way over to her, a loud neigh sounding over the meadow, while tears began to form in the druid's eyes. She felt her knees buckle beneath her and fell to the ground with a small sob, her thoughts whirling in her head.

Lithen neighed again, even louder this time, as he came to a halt in front of her and the druid wiped at her eyes as the pony lowered his head, slightly nudging it against hers. She couldn't help the sob that escaped her as she raised both hands to Lithen's head, her fingers trembling as they made contact with his fur. Lithen neighed again, more quietly this time, and then let out a snort, nuzzling his head into her touch.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered thickly, leaning her forehead against the pony's head. She stroked his dark mane, crying quietly as he continued to nuzzle against her. "Oh, how I've missed you, my boy!"

She wasn't sure how long she kept in that position, though Lithen eventually lifted his head and she moved with him, slowly getting to her feet. She stroked a hand down his neck lovingly, and as she looked back around to Bilbo, she realised that he was no longer standing by the fence by himself.

"He is yours?" Lord Elrond asked calmly, but with slight surprise swinging in his voice. He was standing behind the smiling hobbit, next to Gandalf, whose eyes were twinkling kindly at her. The druid wiped at her eyes again, crying and smiling at the same time as she nodded.

"We got attacked by trolls, just before we got here, and I… I lost him," she said through heavy breaths, feeling Lithen nibble slightly at the fabric of her tunic. She gave him a gentle shove, stroking his head once more. The pony gave a content snort. "I thought I'd lost him."

Lord Elrond nodded his understanding, his eyes shining with a curious light. "My guards found him just as he crossed over the borders to Imladris," he answered. "In fact, he arrived only a few days after the company of Thorin Oakenshield departed our halls. We took him in with our own horses because he seemed so… docile. We could tell that he was no wild beast. Perhaps he was searching for his mistress all along."

Arinna inclined her head, wiping at her eyes once more, not knowing what to say as the Elf's gaze rested heavily on her.

"Curious, isn't it," Lord Elrond muttered gently, seemingly to no one in particular. "How even after such a long time, some paths are bound to cross again."