And on we go! I hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know your thoughts. Thanks very much to MissCallaLilly, Filisgirl251, DawnScarlet19610, purple-pygmy-puff16, Erikawaskiki, MissRuthless and Aquamarine for your reviews on the last one!


*** 7 years after the battle ***

"Apply it every night before she goes to bed. And keep a good eye on the progress of her recovery. Should the coughing not subside, come back and let me know."

"Thank you," the man before her said, taking the small pouch of medicine that she was holding out to him. He rummaged in his pockets for some coin, but the druid quickly shook her head at him, pressing the pouch into his hand instead. The man's eyes widened in surprise and he inclined his head in genuine thanks. "You are a blessing. Thank you very much."

She just gave him a nod, before she watched him stand up slowly and leave. He had been the last one in a long queue of people that had entered the tent that day. They had set up early in the morning, when the sun had only just begun to make its ascent into the sky, and it was now dark already. She got up with a small sigh and grabbed a clean cloth, wiping the small table they used for their business as she did every evening.

"You know, if you actually took people's money, this venture would be a lot more successful."

The druid looked up, seeing a silver-haired man standing by the tent's entrance, two pouches of coin in his hands, their combined earnings for the past two days. He watched her out of astute blue eyes, sending her a pointed look as she inclined her head. His name was Senias and she had known him for many years. Though his silver hair suggested that he was older than her, they had grown up together as close friends, almost the same age, in the druid colony of Evendim.

"He is a poor farmer with a sick child," Arinna muttered in reply to his words, finishing to clean up the table. "I won't take his last coin in exchange for his daughter's health."

Senias just smiled slightly, nodding his head in agreement, though she did not see it as she put away her supplies. She had always been a kind woman, with little care for riches and all the more for the people she might help with her skills. Which was why she was the only person he'd ever considered doing this with. It had been his idea to travel through the lands, to offer their healing services to the people in need of them. And when he had asked her to join him, she had been all too glad to accept the offer.

Arinna had spent almost four years back in Evendim by then, feeling more out of place than ever before. Though she had been welcomed back with open arms, she had known even on her first day back that this was not home anymore. It had never truly been after her father died, yet she had not known where else to go. Though Bilbo had asked her to stay in Bag End, the druid had neither wanted to intrude on the hobbit's much earned return to peace and quiet, nor had she felt it was the right place for her.

Instead, she had spent months trying to reintegrate herself into the colony. But Oromé, the colony elder, the woman who had taken her in many years ago, had known from the start that her heart was not in it. At first, she had kept asking questions, but that had soon stopped when it became clear that Arinna would not talk about the journey she had been on or the things that she had seen. Oromé had not been surprised when Arinna announced that she would go on the road with Senias, who was an experienced druid and healer in his own right. She had wished her luck in finding whatever it was the young woman was looking for, for that was all there was still to say. Three years later, Arinna knew that this life was not what she was looking for, but it gave her more purpose and pleasure than anything else had for many years.

"Here, let me help."

Arinna was pulled out of her thoughts, when Senias grabbed one end of the table that stood in the middle of the tent, helping her get it out of the way. They used the tent for both their business and as their sleeping quarters, changing it every morning and night. They put the small table to the edge of the tent and instead grabbed their bedrolls and laid them out on the ground.

"I think we can expect the first snow soon," Senias said a little while later, after they had been sat together in silence for a while, eating their small supper by the fire that he had built outside. Arinna gave a small nod, tearing apart her bread roll. "You seem quiet today."

Now the druid looked up at her friend, a small frown playing on her face as he shot her a small smile.

"Quieter than usual," he muttered. Senias had known her since they were children and had grown up with her voice ringing out through the druid camp. She had always been thoughtful and deliberate with what she said, but there had always been such joy in her when she had been growing up. She hadn't lost it entirely, even when her father had died. Yet, seven years ago, when she had returned from her journey to the East, Senias had barely recognised her. She was a different woman now, and the one he had known before had never quite returned.

"I'm sorry," she uttered softly, though she knew very well why her voice was failing her today. It was the same every year. The last days of autumn had passed and today was the day that had determined her fate seven years ago. The day that had followed a night of battle. The day that Kili and Thorin had lost their lives. She shook her head slightly, trying to banish the dark thoughts from her mind. "I suppose I'm still thinking about that farmer. His daughter is only four years old."

"You are the best help he could have hoped for," Senias answered seriously, though he was looking at her with slight concern, trying to read the hidden thoughts behind her eyes. "Perhaps we could stay a few days longer this time, to make sure he can find us again should he need to."

Arinna gave him a nod and a small smile. "Yes, I'd like that."

Senias watched as she brought her gaze back to her food, the smile fading as quickly from her face as it had appeared. He suppressed a sigh, feeling helpless in the face of her obvious sorrow.

"It pains me to see you this way," he uttered, without truly thinking about it. However, Arinna merely raised her eyebrows slightly.

"What way?"

Senias let out a small sigh this time, not quite knowing which word to use. In the end, he shook his head, thinking that it was best not to push her. He had learned many things about her journey over the past three years that they had been on the road together, though never the parts that seemed to haunt her the most. On the rare occasions that she did talk about the journey to Erebor, she only ever talked about the adventurous parts, about the company as a whole, the wizard or the hobbit. Senias had never heard her mention to him the man whose name sometimes fell from her lips when she was fast asleep.

"Never mind," he said finally, sending her a kind smile. He got up then, giving her a small nod as he collected their empty plates. "I'm going to bed. Early day tomorrow."

"Early day every day," Arinna muttered, before she thanked him quietly for clearing up her plate. She heard him rummage inside the tent for a while, before the rustle of his bedroll confirmed that he had gone to sleep. She kept sitting outside by the fire for a while longer, allowing herself for a moment to remember. She never usually did, but on this one day in the year, her memories always threatened to overwhelm her. Sometimes, it was better to follow willingly where they tried to lead her.

She allowed herself only a few moments, closing her eyes and waiting for what her mind would conjure up. And within an instant, she found herself transported back in time, to a dark night in Mirkwood. Strange sounds filled the air around her, yellow eyes staring. She felt herself shiver at the thought, before her memory showed her something else. She could almost feel his arms around her then in the dark, could almost feel the soft furs of his coat gliding through her fingers. She tried to remember what he had said to her that night after they had been separated from the company and he had regained his memory, but it would not come to her. The sound of his voice remained lost, as it always did.

She opened her eyes with a sigh, hesitating another moment before she extinguished the fire before her.

"Good night," she whispered into the wind, before she got up and went inside the tent to get some rest for the night.

Outside, the first snow began to fall.


Several months had passed and they had set up camp somewhere else by summer, near Bree. It was a clear and warm evening, and Arinna had gone out to collect some firewood for the night, while Senias had stayed by the tent, clearing up after another day's work. They liked to share these responsibilities evenly and took turns every other day.

The druid was carrying a small pile of branches and twigs in her arms as she made her way back toward their camp, walking slowly and enjoying the slight, warm breeze that rustled the leaves of the trees around her.

"Roads go ever ever on," she sang quietly to herself, the old tune sometimes coming back to her unexpectedly. It never failed to make her think of Bilbo, which in turn never failed to make her smile. "Over rock and under tree..."

She could already see the camp in the distance, still smiling slightly, when her gaze was suddenly caught by something else. Two unfamiliar horses were standing a few yards from the tent and the druid frowned at the sight, increasing her speed slightly as she made her way to the camp.

Voices carried over to her from inside the tent before she had even reached it, and the druid carefully put down the firewood outside, before she sneaked closer, listening closely.

"I do not want any trouble," she could hear Senias saying from within, his voice forcibly calm but trembling slightly. Arinna wondered for a moment whom he was speaking to, though she received the answer not two seconds later.

"I hear you druids make good money like this," a deep male voice said, a lurking tone accompanying the rough sound of it. "Taking coin from people who are in need of help."

"We only take what is needed. We need to eat," Senias answered quietly, which was met with laughter from the other man.

"Aye," the man chuckled roughly. "So do we! So do we, isn't that right, Tom?"

Arinna couldn't hear the other man replying, though she had already known that there must be two, judging by the two horses that stood outside. She listened, as the first man continued, while slowly pulling a dagger out of her boot at the same time.

"We are in need of help, as well, you see, druid. We are two poor, poor men, in need of some money. Because, we, too, need to eat. You understand that, don't you?" Senias said nothing in return, and the man continued, while Arinna sneaked toward the entrance of the tent. She could now see the backs of the two men's heads. And she could see that one of them was holding a knife to her friend's face. Senias was not a violent man. Like most druids, he carried no weapon on him, even when travelling the roads, nor did he know how to wield them. Arinna sighed at the thought, hearing the bandit continue. "I hear you druids are a peaceful folk. I wouldn't want to hurt you, my friend. Give us what you have, and you can keep your face intact. Sounds like a fair deal, doesn't it?"

"I'll make you a better one," Arinna said loudly, taking a deep breath as she gathered her courage and stepped forward. Gripping her dagger tightly in her hand, she looked at the two men, who had turned toward her voice in surprise. "You leave – and in return we give you nothing."

The man with the knife laughed out loud at her words, while the other put one hand on the hilt of his sword. Arinna shot him a warning look. "If you wish to live, take your hand off your sword."

"Well, you're a feisty one, aren't you?"

Her gaze wandered back to the man that was threatening Senias, though he had partly turned away from him now and more toward her. Arinna narrowed her eyes at him, tilting her head slightly before she made her throw. The small dagger whirled through the air and hit the man's hand with full force, knocking his own knife straight out of his grasp as it cut through his skin. The man cried out and Arinna quickly turned toward the other one, kicking him in the knee and causing him to drop his sword, before he even had time to raise it properly. Before he could react, there was another dagger to his throat, which the druid had pulled from her belt and which was normally used for collecting plants in the forest.

There was a loud clank on the other side of the tent then, and Arinna looked up to see that Senias had whacked the other bandit over the head with their small, but heavy saucepan, knocking him to the floor. The druid couldn't help a small smile at the wide-eyed look on her friend's face.

"Leave," she then said to the one before her, pressing her dagger into his skin as he gave a quick nod. "Take your friend, and don't come back. Or we'll finish what you've started."

She let the blade of her dagger rest on his neck for another moment, before she retrieved it, watching with alert eyes as the bandit scrambled to his feet and grabbed his semi-unconscious partner off the ground, dragging him out of the tent. She followed them outside, watching as they hurried over to their horses, yelling angrily at one another.

"I thought you said they were peaceful folk!"

Arinna did not go back inside until she was certain that they had gone.

"Where on earth did you learn how to do that?" Senias asked her in amazement as she stepped back into the tent, holding out the dagger that she had thrown. Arinna took it from him with a small sigh, running her thumb across the familiar hilt. She put it back in her boot, where she always kept it, ever since she had received it. "They had no idea what hit them!"

"I was taught," she answered softly, sending her friend an amiable look as he shook his head in wonder. "You weren't so bad yourself, though. Poor man never saw that pan coming."

Senias laughed slightly, waving her words away with a shake of his head. "That was pure panic," he admitted, still looking at her curiously. "I knew you could wield a sword and are handy with a bow, but… that was something else. Who taught you to throw daggers?"

Arinna's mouth opened and closed, the name that had come forth in her mind not wanting to fall from her lips. For a second, she was catapulted back to a clearing in the woods, practicing her throws with his commentary in the background. The druid shook her head, ridding herself of the memory.

"A dwarf," she finally said, avoiding Senias' gaze as he frowned slightly at her words. "He… well, he gave me the dagger. And showed me how to use it."

"He must have been very good, then."

Arinna smiled slightly, looking down at the ground and not seeing her friend's look upon the rare occasion of such a pure smile. He hadn't seen it in a long time.

"He was. And so cocky about it, too. It was a pain in the neck to admit it, but yes, I never saw anyone else wield blades like he did," she muttered, before she walked past Senias and put down her things, sitting down on her bedroll, the firewood that still lay outside in the grass completely forgotten. Senias followed her movements, sitting down opposite her and watching her attentively. He was still reeling slightly from the bandits' attack, but he could tell that something in Arinna had suddenly opened up, and he was determined to use this opportunity before the door to her mind and heart closed again.

"What was his name?" he asked quietly, carefully. He frowned again as she took a deep breath, shuddering slightly as she released it. She stayed silent for a long moment, pressing her lips together before she finally looked up at him, a thin veil of tears covering her eyes, though none escaped her.

"Fili," Senias looked at her as she smiled sadly, before she repeated herself, more to herself than to him. "His name was Fili."

He recognised the name immediately, though she had never uttered it to him consciously before, only ever while she was dreaming. They remained silent for a few moments, in which Senias finally began to understand the expression on his friend's face. He had never seen her look sadder or more vulnerable than in this moment, and he now thought he knew why.

"Arinna," he uttered softly, causing her to glance up at him again. He sent her a compassionate look, his eyes kind as he spoke. "Who was Fili to you?"

"It hardly matters now," she whispered, almost too softly for him to hear but he shook his head at her, giving her a concerned frown.

"I think it does."

Arinna drew in a shaky breath, looking up at her friend with sad eyes. She wasn't sure why she was telling him all this now. "He was… he was the love of my life."

Senias nodded, understanding flooding his eyes as he gazed at her compassionately. He stayed silent for a moment, giving the words time to settle between them, before he quietly spoke again. "What became of him?"

"King under the Mountain," Arinna answered thickly, wiping at her face again as she drew in a deep breath. Senias frowned, confused and surprised at her words. Fili, the man who haunted her dreams, the man whom she had loved for all these years, was not only heir to the kingdom of Erebor, but -

"He is alive, then?" He asked, uttering his thoughts out loud and frowning further, when she simply nodded in return. He shook his head slightly. "Then why did you leave?"

"I had no choice."

Senias looked at her for a long moment, taking in her words. He knew her well, and couldn't help but think that this was something that she had been telling herself for the past seven years, even though her heart kept disagreeing with her.

"I believe sometimes it's easier to think that you don't," he uttered finally, looking at her thoughtfully as she glanced up at him. She said nothing, unable to utter her thoughts aloud or to deny his words. Instead, Senias continued softly, giving her an emphatic look. "Arinna, when you came back to us seven years ago, I thought you had gone through hell and back. And I suppose you did, in a way. You came back to us as someone else, someone we did not recognise and could not connect with, but you never talked about it. I hoped that you would recover eventually, and at times I thought I could see some parts of the old you returning, some parts I remembered of you. But to this day, you seem… haunted. Not entirely whole."

"What are you saying?" Arinna asked in a small voice, shaking her head at her friend as he got up and instead came to sit beside her, grasping her hand tightly in his.

"I am saying that I finally know why you were so willing to leave Evendim with me," he said. "You travelled East to find your home and came back with empty hands. And you never managed to make your old home feel like one again, so you came with me. You ran away and have been running ever since. But you know what I think? I think you did find your home in the East. I think you did find where you belong, and where you will find your happiness again. That is where you left it, after all. With Fili."

Arinna shook her head, but Senias simply continued softly. "I can see now that you've been denying your heart for all these years," he uttered, squeezing her hand gently. "Perhaps, I should have noticed sooner, should have asked you sooner. But it is not too late for you, Arinna. I want you to smile again, my friend, like I saw you smile tonight at the mere mention of his name."

"It is not that easy. I cannot go back," she uttered finally, using her free hand to wipe some stray tears from her cheek again, but her friend shook his head.

"How long have you been telling yourself that?" he asked. "Seven years? Your heart is free, Arinna, have the courage to follow it. Take Lithen and go home."

The druid inclined her head, letting her tears fall into her lap. She took several shuddering breaths, his voice echoing in her head. She knew that he was right with one thing. She had left Erebor, and with it her joy, and she had never quite managed to find it again, to replace it.

"He does not want me to come back," she muttered eventually, looking back up at him and finding him giving her a kind smile in return.

"How could you know, without trying?" he answered slowly, putting one arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his side. As she leaned into him, he added quietly. "He is not the only one there that your heart longs to see, is he? These dwarves… they are your family, Arinna. More than I could ever try to be. And if nothing else, family is something worth coming back to."