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'Guess whose back!? Back again!'
Arguably the highlight of my time here so far has to be the existence of Slim Shady.
"I don't know how you can listen to this... Noise." Tony Stark deadpanned beside me, as he sipped from his cup.
"Yeah, like your taste in music's any better."
Taking it as a challenge, Tony Stark promptly told Jarvis to switch the song to one by ACDC.
"Don't even think about disrespecting them," Tony remarked, a pointed look at my expression. "Literally can't be friends with you if you don't like this band."
I snorted in response, shaking my head.
"Really? I figured we were friends because I helped save your life like two years early. Helped stop a homicidal maniac from coming after your head- Helped you get some closure regarding your parents, or solve your Stern problem- Or maybe it was the part where I gave you billions in Vibranium!?" I remarked dramatically.
Tony Stark shrugged in response.
"None of those things compare to the idea that you can't appreciate the greatest band of all time." He paused. "Like, you'd be too stupid to be friends with."
"...I can't tell if you're serious or not." I deadpanned in response. "Like bloody hell no wonder you don't have any other friends!"
"Friends are overrated." He snorted in response. "I'd rather live alone in a world than be surrounded by idiots."
"I mean given your entire life, I'd say you have lived alone-" I grinned at him.
"I have Pepper!" He remarked offended. "And Happy!"
I nodded, a serene expression on my face.
"Now that you mention, you do pay them..." I frowned. "Shit, you pay me- Do you buy all of your friends?"
He blinked once, twice, before he turned his gaze back towards the large screen in front of us- The trial of the century going on inside it.
I wasn't sure of the legality of him snooping into a closed courtroom, but I wanted to watch it as well so, no complaints?
"I don't pay Jarvis." He settled on.
"...I don't even need to say anything to that, do I?"
"Shut up and watch." He took another gulp. "You're ruining the mood, we're about to witness- Well I wouldn't say history but I guess it might be a highlight of the year? Season? Month?" He paused again. "Week? Wakanda having more money than America's a little hard to get over if I am honest."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"I never took you for a patriot."
He scoffed in return.
"I am not, I am a Starkriot, it just so happens that my family legacy originated here."
"You're really losing your touch when it comes to banter."
"I had a lot on my plate recently- You have any idea how many applications a crap ton of Vibranium has? I've had to remodel Stark Enterprises' entirewardrobe because of it!"
I hummed along with his words, my gaze set on the massive screen-
"Don't tell me the flat screens made of Vibranium too!?"
"So what if it was? The screen ain't just filled with pixels you know? That's literally everything in that courtroom down to the last air particle! It's as real as it could get."
I shook my head at the sheer waste- I can't believe I thought he was more pragmatic than this!
"With the V.R tech I've put into the stock market, I've officially revolutionized the meaning of porn!"
I held in the urge to smack him upside the head for that one.
"You're a degenerate." I deadpanned towards him.
"Isn't that why we're friends?"
"I hate ACDC,"
"No, you don't." And as if to prove his point, he promptly had the volume turned so high up it completely overtook the trial to save democracy. "Nothing beats that sound," The man sighed as he leaned back into his seat.
"I don't know, the sound of Hydra's heads crying might."
He waved a hand in a shrug.
"Jury's out on that one, I am more concerned about what would make Hydra cry."
"Failure?"
He scoffed at me. "Please, failure's all they know, I am sure they're used to it."
Speaking of- I couldn't help the grin on my face as Alexander Pierce promptly took to the stand and testified against himself, his colleagues, and everyone that had been included in the pre-planned speech.
Turns out when push comes to shove, Pierce was ready to throw everyone else under the bus for a place in one of America's 'cushiest' prisons. Which is literally on a brochure for rich people in trouble by the way.
Still, we might not have gathered all of them up yet, but it definitely helped to get the seal of approval to do it- And essentially freeze most, if not all, of the assets they had in the country.
It was Tony's idea at the end that had finally worked to convince the genocidal fucker to willingly turn on everyone else- Evidently, a prison resort was all it had taken.
"To democracy!" I raised the empty glass on the edge of my seat.
"To V.R porn!" Tony Stark cackled beside me. "I might be rich, but you have no idea how much money vibrianium-reality porn's going to make me."
Because of course, that's what he called it- Only Tony Stark could take a country's heavily guarded resource and literally use its name for that.
"I want a cut of the profits."
"You have the only Stark credit card without a limit placed on it, you know that?" He paused. "Even my one has a limit!"
"Eh. Sucks to be you." I snorted in response, causing him to roll his eyes at me.
Honestly, I am just glad he hasn't decided to make a sex robot named Wakanda.
Dude was more pissed off with them than I was for some reason!
Though in hindsight, the fact Captain America's shield was forever going to be linked to that might've also had something to do with it.
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