…
I was a little wary if I was honest. Which quite frankly said a lot.
And no, I wasn't about to sleep with a Darcy that portalled into my room because I was trying to get a hold of Hulk's caricature of a cousin nor was I about to fight some big immortal darkness exuding demon, or seal his sister in a puma. I wasn't about to reveal a secret superhero team hell-bent on saving the world to the masses, nor was I about to kill T'challa for the soul stone…
I am fairly certain I got a few of those mixed up.
Which really, once again, said it all.
I was nervous as hell and I hadn't been nervous in a long time.
I wasn't nervous fighting a one-and-a-half deranged Dark Lord, nor was I nervous fighting Ninja Space Gremlins- Hell, Even Aizen punching me in the face didn't phase me nearly as much as this, and I was practically an innocent back then- Well, an innocent that accidentally hit that universe like an imaginary wrecking ball. Still, it definitely wasn't my intention to. No matter what Aizen said about it.
However, this was a whole different ordeal- Why? Simple, I was meeting Jane Foster's family.
Apparently, she had one.
Now I wasn't the most up-to-date person in the universe- That was a lie, I absolutely was.
I was almost certain we were supposed to be in the MCU, given the characters defining looks- Just as I mostly knew that Jane Foster wasn't supposed to have any parents, courtesy of death and cancer.
Sure the directors, writers, and all were vastly different in every retelling I'd come across so far in my journey- Some of them being me, but the source material was always accurate. The only exception was my One Piece adventure, which had been televised in Huaco Mundo of all fucking places. Though I was still convinced it was Kyoka's fault somehow.
Never got to watch Loki season three though- Akane canceled the show there for some reason. And considering how my life as Sirius Black went, the MCU never came into existence so I didn't have a chance to catch up on it there either but at least they had an excuse. A live-action series about superheroes was pretty stupid with actual fucking wizards running around.
You have no idea how many people I threatened to kill for trying to retcon Sabrina the Teenage Witch into Sirius the Insane Fuckwit.
I was getting side-tracked.
The point was when I popped into a new universe, I generally got updated on everything that goes down in the stories in my original, actual first-life, timeline.
And Jane Foster wasn't supposed to have any parents.
Hell, the sibling she mentioned before should've been a red flag all on its own, and if not for Kill-fucking-monger trying to blow me and her up I would've questioned it then and there!
To my side, I watched as Jane stepped out of her apartment with a grin that probably fed off the nervousness on my face as she offered me her hand.
"Ready?" She questioned, giggling at my expression.
"For what? A cab? We're teleporting." I deadpanned back.
Her grin faded into a resigned sigh.
"Well, as far as first impressions go-" I didn't let her finish as a portal opened up behind me- One I quickly pulled her through with me.
Just gotta Fiendfyre the band-aid and all.
I think that was the saying.
"-a sling rings a good one?" Jane finished with a deadpan look before confusion quickly filled her as she took in the graveyard we'd portalled into. "…This isn't the place hon." She remarked.
"You sure?" I deadpanned back. "Because honestly, it makes a lot more sense to me than you having a family you want to introduce me to."
She crossed her arms at me for that one.
"Please don't say anything like that in front of them."
"Aha! You admit it then, they are here!" I exclaimed, spreading my arms out to indicate the depressing ass place.
She twitched at me.
"You know, I thought the nervousness was really cute on you at first- You know, what with all the magical crap you can pull- But I am starting to think it wasn't because you were about to meet your girlfriend's family for the first time."
I nodded, absolutely seriously.
"To be fair," I stated. "I usually don't have to- Considering my former girlfriends either didn't have any parents-" I might've accidentally offed them for wearing the wrong masks. "-Or they were fine with literally anyone taking their psychotic girl off their hands."
"…I don't…" Jane started, twitching at me. "I don't see the fair part…"
"Isn't it obvious? If you had a loving family, there's absolutely no reason for you to be with me."
She just stared at me for a few moments, opening and closing her mouth in the process before she let out a sigh.
"Like, you'd need a fucked up origin story and all." I continued on.
She muttered a few words under her breath before schooling her expressions.
"You're not getting out of this dinner."
"Oh yeah, I am sure the corpses would definitely mind."
She gave me a very unimpressed look.
I let out a sigh and opened another portal.
"Look if this one leads to another graveyard, I am just going to take it as a sign-" Jane started walking away in the other direction. "Oi, where are you goi -"
"We're taking a cab!" Shoot, I was really hoping she'd get pissed off and cancel the whole surreal thing. "I know this graveyard."
I started following her.
"Yeah, no shit, your parents are buried here." I deadpanned.
"You're still not getting out of this dinner." She repeated herself like a parrot.
Letting out an amused snort, I calmly shrugged and decided to follow her, and on noticing that, the woman let a genuine smile bloom on her face as she grabbed my arms.
"I promise it won't be that bad alright? I know dealing with normal people's... Probably annoying for you-" She shook her head at the words. "Look, if it gets out of hand you can always just teleport us out!"
Maybe I really was just being tightly wound about all of this?
She's certainly not wrong- The last time I met another person's parents for the first time went pretty well for me.
And they were the Potters for crying out loud.
"Alright but if I accidentally leave you behind, I am not coming back for you," I remarked with a raised eyebrow.
She rolled her eyes at me.
Maybe it was just another mix of sorts? Bit of comic here and there- Umar wasn't an MCU thing now that I think about it? My updated stream of information certainly didn't give me that much comic knowledge... What with it mostly being focused on the MCU, given that was I'd been obsessed with before I'd found myself in the Multiverse of Stupidity.
"As long as you don't accidentally port yourself into another naked girl's apartment, I won't complain."
My instinct was to snort at the comment, knowing it was entirely possible for the universe to throw some form of drama my way, all things considered.
Yet... The fact it was...
Huh.
Forget her existing sister and family.
The first red flag was...
I stared at the woman idly whistling a tune as she led me out of the open gates, while I held in the urge to frown.
I was supposed to portal to Bruce Banner then... Right? Yeah, fairly certain I'd only been thinking of the green giant then.
How the hell had I ended up in Janes's first apartment then?
...
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