CHAPTER DISCLAIMER: A significant flashback to #8 The Alien.
IMPORTANT NOTE: So, when I posted the last chapter, I made that little comment in the end notes about "RACHEL AKUMATIZED" and everybody seemed to comment more on that than on the chapter itself. I'm not mad at people; if anything, I blame myself for putting that comment in there. So from now on, I'll keep the notes and comments to a minimum. (And that being said, what did you folks actually think of the previous chapter?)
WHEW! This took forever for me to write. MAJOR KUDOS to Khanofallorcs and Nomolosk for helping me with this chapter! They're both on AO3, so go show them some love and gratitude and check out their stuff!
Chapter 6: Stoneheart, Part 2
When Marinette would think about it later, all she would remember was a blur. First there was the appearance of Stoneheart, then there was seeing her best friend look so shocked and then so indescribably angry, then there was Chloé's cell phone going off with her father the mayor asking if she was alright and demanding that she come home right away… from there, it was all a blur with the teachers taking a headcount, and then Marinette being allowed to hurry back home.
Both her parents were shocked to find her back so early and then relieved to see that she was alright, both of them hugging her tightly. Once she was back in her bedroom, she turned on her desktop computer and switched to the news.
The images ran by before her: Nadja Chamack reporting as professionally as she could under this duress… Mayor André Bourgeois giving what he hoped was an inspiring speech, complete with the city's Latin motto "FLUCTUAT NEC MERGITUR" prominently displayed on the screen… the damage to Principal Damocles' office left behind by this new villain…
After several minutes, she finally switched it off for a break and groaned out loud, "I hate first days back at school."
Her first day back at school, and not only had a new super-villain appeared, but she didn't even get a chance to see Adrien.
Adrien!
Marinette jolted at the thought of him.
Should she try calling him now, just to see what he was doing? Maybe he could finally return some messages now?
But just then, she noticed a small black box on her desk, with a Chinese symbol etched onto the top in red.
"What's this doing here?"
Marinette Dupain-Cheng reached out to open the box… and her life changed forever.
Meanwhile, in the Agreste Manor, Adrien paced back and forth like a caged tiger.
He'd seen the giant rock monster stomping along his street, right outside the manor's front gates. Not only that, but he'd also seen the footage of his own house from a different angle.
"Probably not the kind of publicity Father would want or like," he muttered, snickering just a little.
What was he supposed to do now? Today was not going as he'd hoped at all.
And then he noticed a small black box on the table in front of his couch, with a Chinese symbol etched onto the top in red.
"What's this doing here?"
Adrien Agreste reached out to open the box… and his life changed forever.
Rachel immediately went back home, as if that would keep her safe. And while she was en route, she quickly texted everyone in her class, trying to make sure that everyone was safe.
From her balcony, she did her best to follow along and see if she could track the monster. She didn't think she'd be in any more danger inside her bedroom than on her balcony.
She could see dust clouds being kicked up by its rampage… she could hear its roars for its intended target… she could even feel the tremors caused by its rampage.
Worried, Rachel instinctively looked in the direction of Marinette's home; it was right across the river from Notre Dame itself.
But as she looked in that direction, she saw what looked like a skinny figure in red flying through the air, up over the world-famous cathedral.
Rachel did a double-take.
"What the actual hell!?" she blurted out loud.
She didn't even bother taking out her smartphone to try and capture it on video, because she knew that not only was it not powerful enough to clearly see anything that far away, but also because she knew that she wouldn't be able to do it in time.
But she managed to look up just in time to see the figure in red collide with a figure in black, the latter of which was walking on something between two buildings.
Rachel had seen lots of insane and wild things, but nothing quite like any of this.
What the hell is going on in this city!?
She really hated not knowing what was going on and not being able to do anything about it.
For the first time since she got her memories back in this life, she was becoming nervous — even afraid — if only because she couldn't do anything to protect herself or her loved ones. She was no coward.
She just hated being powerless.
So she kept telling herself.
All she could do was keep watching from the balcony, keeping her smartphone in her hand for any updates because she was so hungry for new information…
And then, off in the distance, a tall apartment building shook, before sinking into the ground at an angle.
And then those two figures appeared again, the one in red and the one in black. They were following the trail of destruction!
Did Paris have its own superheroes now?
Not knowing what else to do, Rachel stalked over to her punching bag and began punching away at it. She didn't even bother changing into her workout gear first; she just needed to hit something, and now.
And as she hammered away at the punching bag, she pretended that she was punching Visser Three right in his ugly mug…
She kept her big TV set on, with the volume low, just so she could glance at it out the corner of her eye every now and then. It cycled through different scenes, and her father the mayor appeared once or twice, advising that everyone stay indoors and urging calm and patience.
She even saw the Latin motto of the city of Paris in quotation marks as a blurb at one point: FLUCTUAT NEC MERGITUR — "tossed but not sunk."
She did her best to take those words to heart, refusing to sink into despair. Like it or not, she had a role to play as the daughter of the mayor of Paris. If her duties as Chloé Bourgeois weren't enough motivation to stay afloat, then her spirit and drive as Rachel the Animorph wouldn't let her sink either.
Growling in frustration, she quickly changed into some workout clothes and marched back over to the punching bag in a corner of her room to punch it again. At first, she pretended it was Visser Three in his three-legged rock monster morph from her flashback, but then she found herself more and more imagining it as this new rock monster, and she pulled no punches as she pummeled away at it…
Rachel hadn't been paying attention to the time, and so she just kept glancing at the TV screen every so often
But this time, she saw blurbs that the crisis had been dealt with. Apparently, someone had caught amateur footage of these two new heroes fighting the new villain.
Finally tearing herself away from her punching bag, she went over to watch this new footage.
She recognized it as being the Parc de Princes. She heard someone, it must have been the camera's holder, huffing and puffing as she tried to catch footage of the event.
And there was the rock monster again.
Rachel forced herself not to go through that flashback with Visser Three again as she watched this new footage.
"KIM!" the rock monster bellowed as the other students started fleeing for their lives. "So, who's the wuss now?"
Yup, Rachel thought to herself with a sinking feeling, that must have been Ivan.
The rock giant — Ivan — leapt down from the top of the stadium onto the field, and Kim only made it so far before he tripped and fell face-first into the turf.
But just when it looked like Kim was done for, a new figure dropped into view with what looked like a long metal staff.
It looked like a young man wearing a black leather suit, and the pointed ears and long tail-like attachment made Rachel think of a black cat.
His voice was loud enough to carry over to be recorded. "Hey, it's not very nice to pick on people who are smaller than you."
"I guess you're talking about yourself," the rock monster retorted. "And the name's Stoneheart! Remember that!"
The villain and the hero fought each other, and at one point the hero hit Stoneheart with his weapon — which then caused Stoneheart to glow with golden light and then grow in size.
"Where are you, partner?" the hero called aloud, now sounding more afraid for himself as Stoneheart kept trying to crush him with overhead strikes.
And not long after that, Stoneheart lifted up the soccer goal net closest to him and chucked it at the hero. Not only did it miss its intended target, but it bounced off the ground, and now it looked like it was flying towards whoever was recording this—!
The person recording it must have instantly ducked to the ground, and when the camera angle righted itself, Rachel could see that the net was off to one side — but now the villain had the cat-themed hero in his monstrous grip.
And then Rachel realized that it must have been Alya recording it, because she heard the other girl shout: "What are you waiting for, super red bug? The world is watching you!"
And with that, Rachel got a glimpse of a figure in red on the other end of the stadium. Then she realized something, thinking to herself: Were these the two I saw earlier? Must be!
The figure in red hesitated for a moment, before finally leaping into battle. She swiftly jumped into the fray and had Stoneheart tied up and tripped over in one fluid move. "Animal cruelty? How shameful!" she remarked aloud.
"Huh, nice move," Rachel commented.
"Yes!" Alya shouted, and the phone moved awkwardly as she pumped her fist. When her smartphone focused on the action again, it looked like the two heroes were bantering with each other — no, more like arguing with each other.
"Uh, hello, he's walking over to crush you," Rachel remarked aloud, even though they obviously couldn't hear her. "Do something!"
"Cataclysm!" the superhero suddenly shouted, and some type of sickly black stuff materialized in the palm of his hand.
Surprised, Rachel leaned it to get a better look at what she was seeing on the screen. And then he casually reached over to touch the goalpost…
"No, don't do that!" the superheroine protested, but it was too late.
And just like that, he was able to make the entire goalpost disintegrate into black ash and dust — just by touching it!
"Well, that looks nifty," she remarked, stunned by what she was seeing. She couldn't help but think of how useful that power would have been, all the times she was an Animorph…
A cartoonish thought popped into her head and she imagined Visser Three disintegrating into ashes and dust with a single touch, and she got a dark chuckle out of that notion. If only it could have been that easy, she thought.
"Cool, it's just you and me now!" the superhero remarked as he ran at the supervillain. "Time to rumble, soon-to-be rubble!"
"Cat Noir! Wait!" the superheroine shouted after him.
"No, you idiot, don't just rush off like that!" Rachel shouted.
The black-clad superhero — Cat Noir — leapt at Stoneheart, making contact with his large rocky foot…
Rachel watched with baited breath.
…and nothing happened.
Rachel was just as confused as he apparently was. Were his powers only a one-shot deal?
Superhero and supervillain just stared at each other for a moment before the former hit and threw the latter all the way back to where the other hero was standing. Rachel winced at that.
These heroes had never been seen before, they didn't seem to know the ins and outs of their powers… this had to be their first time doing it.
Rachel thought back to when she and the others first became the Animorphs. They didn't know what they were doing back then, either, yet at least they had still survived to fight another day, learning from every fight. Rachel couldn't help it; she clenched her fists and hoped with all her might that these new heroes would do the same here and now.
"Come on," she muttered at the screen, "take him down already…"
Alya must have been straining to catch as much audio as she could, and Rachel also struggled to hear what the superheroine was saying to the superhero, but she could barely make out a word of it.
"…Wait, did she say 'kwami?'" Rachel asked herself out loud. "What's that?" But back to the recorded footage…
And then the ladybug-themed heroine tried something, throwing up her yo-yo as she shouted: "LUCKY CHARM!"
In a flash of red and pink light, something fell into the superheroine's hands.
A ladybug-patterned wetsuit?
Rachel almost prat-fell over. What kinds of powers were these?
"Who comes up with these things!?" she shouted aloud.
It was back to the two superheroes talking as they tried to figure out what to do…
And then Rachel watched in disbelief as the superheroine put whatever her crazy plan was into motion…
"This girl's crazy…!" the cat-boy shouted as he sailed through the air and directly into Stoneheart's grip. And then when the superheroine joined him, Rachel was at a loss for words, wondering what the ladybug-girl was thinking.
"What on earth are you doing!?" Rachel shouted at the screen.
"And now… Alya, the tap!" she shouted.
The camera moved all jerky again as Alya rushed over to somewhere, and now Rachel could see the superheroine's plan…
Sure enough, all the water from the hose into the wetsuit forced open Stoneheart's grip. But then Rachel noticed a small darkened object falling into the ground, barely getting a good look at it before the superheroine broke it.
But then Rachel stared at what she saw next: A dark butterfly fluttering out of the object and flying away.
A stupid little bug did that? she thought to herself.
Rachel felt an awful sensation wash over her. For some reason, it reminded her too much of—
Shaking her head in frustration, she forced her attention back to the video recording.
The rock monster disappeared with roiling dark smoke, and lying there on the ground was Ivan Bruel. He looked around all dazed and confused, and while Ladybug was rushing up to him to see if he was alright, the camera was shaking as Alya herself ran up to them as well.
Alya was gushing. "Uncanny, amazing, spectacular! Are you gonna be protecting Paris from now on? How did you get your powers? Did you get bitten by a radioactive ladybug? Oh, I've got a ton of questions to ask you, miss, uh…"
(Rachel actually laughed out loud at the "radioactive ladybug" bit. Somebody had clearly been indulging in too much superhero stuff…)
"Uh… Ladybug," the superheroine said at last, showing some more confidence. "Call me Ladybug."
And with that, Ladybug swung out of the stadium.
"Ladybug… super awesome!" Alya commented as Ladybug went out of sight.
And with that last frame, the broadcast switched back to Nadja Chamack in the news room.
"So thanks to this amateur footage, the Parisians now know the identities of their heroes!" Ms. Chamack was saying.
Rachel felt herself relax a little. She let the TV continue playing in the background as she went back to her punching bag and resumed working out.
It was a good thing that Paris had a couple of new heroes, she thought. Good thing that they'd managed to turn Ivan back to normal, after they'd done something about that stupid butterfly, and —
Wait.
Rachel paused in mid-punch as she realized something.
Didn't Ladybug simply let that stupid thing fly away?
Now she began to feel very uneasy, something settling in the pit of her stomach.
Feeling the anxiety overtake her, Rachel growled and stepped out onto the balcony. Maybe some fresh air would do her some good. Her gaze slid over to the Eiffel Tower…
And then she saw it.
An entire horde of those dark insects, swarming in all directions and spreading out over the city.
"Oh crap," she muttered.
Her instincts kicking in, Rachel dashed back inside and sealed the doors shut. Not taking any chances, she grabbed some sheets and linens from the closet and stuffed them against the bottom of the doors, just in case these things could get in that way.
And then her attention was drawn back to the still-active TV. Rachel barely paid attention to what Nadja Chamack was saying as she saw for herself what was happening. Random people all over the city were being turned into more of these rock monsters, simply because these dark butterflies touched them.
Evil little bugs turning people into monsters and minions…
Now Rachel knew why she got such a bad feeling about these dark butterflies.
They reminded her too much of the Yeerks. In fact, for all she knew, these butterflies could have been worse than those alien slugs.
Rachel felt her anger and fear overcome her. Once again, she felt trapped. Here she was, hiding in her own home, while these things ran amok.
And now she was well and truly afraid, because she had no special powers to help her.
If there was anything which Rachel feared more than death itself, it was enslavement or entrapment.
Sitting hunched on her bed with her legs drawn up to her chest, Rachel continued watching the news report, eager for any new information. When it looked like no one else would be transformed into one of those rock monsters, she allowed herself to relax a hair — but no more than that.
Looking at her smartphone, she could see that it was blowing up with messages from her friends and classmates. Eager for any kind of distraction, Rachel responded to them, but it quickly became routine. Yes, she had seen Alya's amateur footage. Yes, she was fine now. No, she didn't know what was going on either. No, she was not privy to any kind of top-secret information as the mayor's daughter, so don't bother asking her.
But then Rachel quickly noticed something else: Nothing from Marinette. So she tried calling her best friend.
"C'mon, Marinette, pick up…" she muttered.
Marinette picked up just before her own cell phone could go straight to voicemail.
"Chloé?" Marinette's voice sounded defeated.
"Marinette, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I guess so…" she continued, still sounding rather lifeless.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, you know… what's going on," Marinette said with a bleak chuckle which carried no humor. And then, before Rachel could say anything else, Marinette let out a huge sad sigh.
"So… those heroes, huh?" Rachel said, trying to find something to talk about. "I think they gave it their best shot, but come on, they were clearly new at all this! They didn't act like a real team, and it's like they didn't even know how their own powers worked! And what about that girl, this Ladybug, just letting the stupid butterfly get away?"
Rachel regretted it just a bit, as soon as those words escaped her mouth into the phone. She couldn't help it; maybe she felt the need to rant a little. This reminded her too much of her first days as an Animorph, and not in a good way; it wasn't right that somehow children with superpowers had to go save the day and protect everyone when the adults couldn't.
And if this situation was anything like that one, then Rachel honestly felt bad for these new young heroes.
…And then she noticed that Marinette hadn't responded to her.
There was complete silence, and for another moment, Rachel wondered if Marinette had hung up on her or if the call had been dropped.
"Marinette, are you still there?" Rachel asked.
"…That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Marinette spoke up at last. "What you said about those two heroes, I mean."
Rachel paused as she checked herself. Darn it, I overdid it there, she thought to herself. Of course, she knew from personal experience all about being a hero in battle, about being a teenager thrust into war with special powers and the cost of the experience… and, of course, she couldn't tell anybody about it.
"And how would you know about superhero stuff, anyway?" Marinette pressed, as if she had read Rachel's mind. "Who are you to judge them?"
Whoa… defensive, much? Rachel thought to herself. Scrambling for an answer, she said, "Remember earlier today we were talking about superheroes? I said I got to meet Victory that one time? Well, I also got to meet her fellow heroes on another occasion, and at one point they started swapping stories. They all told me about their first missions and all the things that went wrong. The point was that everybody makes mistakes the first time, even superheroes."
No answer right away, but Marinette seemed to accept it — or at least Rachel hoped that Marinette did.
"Look, I wasn't trying to bash these new heroes," Rachel continued, looking for something to say. "I'm sure that… what were their names? Ladybug and Cat Noir? Yeah, I'm sure they'll figure it out. Everyone makes mistakes the first time they do something."
Or at least I hope they fix this, Rachel privately thought to herself.
Marinette just grumbled something incomprehensible over the phone.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked gently.
"No."
"Marinette…"
"For crying out loud, Chloé, just stop!" Marinette yelled, taking Rachel by surprise. "You don't tell me everything, so why should I tell you!?"
Rachel was stunned. She couldn't recall the last time she'd ever seen or heard Marinette act like this. True, Marinette had grown more of a spine over the years since Rachel had befriended her.
"I really don't get what's wrong with you, Chloé!" Marinette continued on her tirade. "Honestly, you're really starting to scare me! And what was with that look you were giving when you saw the supervillain on the screen? You looked like you wanted to kill someone!"
Rachel winced when she thought back to that.
Sorry, Marinette, I was just dealing with some flashbacks from my previous life, she was tempted to say. Yeah, no.
"I… I don't know," Rachel said awkwardly, trying to give some kind of answer. "I don't know what came over me."
"Yeah, and that's the thing, no one knows what's bothering you, and it makes people crazy!" Marinette continued to rant. "Look, Chloé: I get the fact you have some issues like your family situation and all this other stuff when you were a little kid. But then when you get angry like that, it's like you're a different person, and you set everybody else on edge!"
"Marinette, I'm sorry I got angry…" Rachel began to say.
"No, it's not just that!" Marinette protested, cutting her off. "I know you're hiding something else from me. I tell you everything, but ever since that time, you haven't been the same and you're hiding something big from me. I feel like it all just goes one way, where I tell you everything and you don't really tell me anything important."
Rachel's breath caught in her throat, and all of a sudden she felt like she couldn't breathe. Why did this kind of conversation sound so familiar…?
For some reason, she was thinking of an Animorph meeting back in Cassie's barn when Marinette's voice brought her back to the present.
"Am I really that bad of a friend, Chloé?" Marinette continued on her tirade, sounding more and more upset. "Is there some reason you can't tell me whatever it is?"
Because it would scare the living daylights out of you and traumatize you for life. "I'm sorry, Marinette… it's just too painful and embarrassing to talk about." It wasn't a total lie.
"Even for me, your best friend?" Marinette pressed. "Even the one who you've called the closest thing you have to a sister? After all the times you've come over to my home and been with my family, and after all the times you've turned to my own parents for support and advice?"
Marinette's words stabbed at Rachel's conscience. She recalled how, in that year between her first befriending Marinette at school and getting her old memories back, how she'd slowly but eventually opened up to Marinette's parents about some of the things which happened in the Bourgeois household. In time Rachel came to trust them like she did with Adrien's mother Emilie. She'd even gone so far as to accidentally call Marinette's parents "Uncle Tom" and "Aunt Sabine" one time, but they were so touched by the gesture that they were fine with it.
Rachel tried to keep calm, but her patience was slipping. It took all of her willpower to stay calm and not fire off some stupid retort she would regret later.
And as a familiar memory from her old life threatened to rise to the surface, she tried so hard not to think about it…
"Are you trying to guilt-trip me, Marinette?" she asked in an even tone. Not threatening, but not upset either; simply neutral and trying to be diplomatic.
"What!? No!" Marinette protested, sounding outraged. "Your whole 'secret thing' is really grating, that's all I'm saying! It could wear anyone down after a while!"
"I never demanded you divulge your deepest, darkest secrets," Rachel said calmly, trying to stay diplomatic. "Everyone has that one deep, dark secret that they can't share with anyone else. Whatever yours is — and I know you have one, if only because everybody does — you could never tell me what it is, and I'd be fine with that."
"You really want to know what's bothering me, Chloé?" Marinette huffed. "Well, now I've got problems happening on my end too! And since you don't feel like sharing, then I guess I won't either!"
And then she hung up.
Rachel didn't even try calling her back. It would probably just go straight to voicemail, assuming Marinette hadn't already blocked her as a caller. Wasn't modern technology so much fun?
Instead, Rachel just stared at the phone in her hand, trying to process what had just happened.
On her end, Marinette numbly let go over her cell phone as she realized what she'd just done, letting it drop to the carpet on the floor. Why the in the world had she done that? Chloé hadn't done anything wrong, not really.
Marinette was already very distraught. It was her very first day as a superhero, and she'd blown it.
For crying out loud, Marinette had even argued with Tikki when the kwami had first manifested, saying that she wasn't the best girl for the job. She'd even suggested that Tikki should try Chloé instead, or maybe even Alya because that girl loved superheroes so much. But Tikki was adamant about Marinette being the one to wield the Ladybug Miraculous, and so the girl felt like she had no choice but to go with it.
Stupid clumsy Marinette, she mentally berated herself, you couldn't even catch one stupid little butterfly. And now you've blown off your best friend who didn't even do anything wrong.
No, Marinette could see where she'd gone wrong: It was getting all defensive at Chloé's words, the blonde's criticisms of Paris' two new heroes. But of course Chloé couldn't have known that Marinette was actually Ladybug… right?
Chloé had never hurt Marinette, at least not intentionally. Alright, to be fair, she'd still been a little rough around the edges when they first met, but Chloé was already trying to shed her haughty old persona.
And since then, Chloé had gone out of her way to be Marinette's best friend, becoming the closest thing which Marinette had to a sister.
The more that Marinette thought about it, she couldn't remember Chloé ever doing anything bad or wrong or horrible to her.
Even now, in her own bedroom, Marinette was reminded of her best friend. If it wasn't the pictures on the headboard, then it was the other gifts and articles of clothing scattered around the room.
And sure enough, Marinette's eyes landed on a pair of folders on her desk: One labelled ATELIER #1600, and the other labeled MDC.
For the past few years, Marinette had secretly moonlighted as the mysterious designer with the brand name "Atelier #1600" and was hoping to save "MDC" for when she was done with school and officially entered the fashion industry. It had all started with some off-the-cuff remark from Chloé when the blonde had noted that Marinette's initials coincidentally doubled as Roman numerals and added up to one thousand and six hundred in numerical value. But both of them liked it so much that Marinette simply ran with it, with Chloé's permission and encouragement.
Even now, Marinette could recall the last time she'd had Chloé over to her place. It was a month or so ago, the last time they'd gotten together before Marinette and her parents had traveled to Italy for their summer vacation. And both of them were joking and laughing about it, toasting to the success of the future fashion icon MDC with glasses of bubbly fruit juice as playful imitations of sparkling wine…
Marinette buried her face in her hands, disgusted with herself. What had she been thinking, lashing out at Chloé like that? Chloé couldn't have known what Marinette was really thinking, or what she'd done earlier that day.
On a whim and just for grins, she grabbed her cell phone and tried to call Adrien's cell phone. No response, straight to voicemail.
His father still probably has his phone confiscated, she thought. It would have been nice to see him or at least hear his voice just once today, but it looked like that wasn't going to happen.
Marinette briefly thought back to Cat Noir for some reason. After she'd literally crashed into him the first time they met, she thought there was a flicker of recognition between them, but put those thoughts aside as Stoneheart continued on his rampage across Paris. Sorry, kitty, but you're not the guy I'm looking for, she thought. No offense to Cat Noir, but she was more eager to see a certain other green-eyed blond boy.
She could feel herself sliding back into that old mindset, back when she was bullied all the time and had no real friends. Even now, she was trying to avoid spiraling, as she so often did when her mind got carried away with all her fears…
As Marinette looked up again and aimlessly wandered around her room, her gaze fell upon the vanity again, where Tikki's earrings were nestled in their box again…
Trying to hold back a sob, Marinette fell to her knees and held onto the vanity for support as she began to weep…
Rachel sat on the edge of her bed, stunned. And then, unbidden, other memories came back to her.
She remembered how, as an Animorph, she'd had to lie, especially to her own family, about how she was trying to fight back against an alien menace. Because telling the truth would have been foolish and suicidal.
She might not have had to worry about another alien invasion this time around, but definitely didn't want to get thrown in the looney bin, either.
And as she thought about it, now she remembered why this conversation with Marinette had made her so uncomfortable: Because she had been through something like this before. Except this time, she was the one keeping secrets and being called out on that.
Now she remembered that one instance…
It was relatively early on in their time as Animorphs, a few months after it all started for them. They had just rescued Ax from the submerged Dome on the bottom of the ocean, and Ax was being less than forthcoming about certain things. Despite the efforts of Rachel and the others to keep him happy and make him feel welcome, Ax was still holding out on them. He was doing something behind their backs.
Rachel remembered that confrontation at Cassie's family's barn, when Ax showed up (in human morph) at their unofficial headquarters…
"See, it's like this, Ax," Marco said suddenly. "We're tired of you giving us a runaround. Tobias shows up and he's dragging around some bloody shirt. I ask him what it is, and he won't tell me. Why won't Tobias tell me? Simple. He must have promised someone he wouldn't. And who would that someone be?"
Ax didn't see a point in denying it. "I made Tobias a promise. Puh-romise. It is my fault."
"So now you're not just keeping secrets from us, you're getting us to keep secrets from ourselves!" Rachel yelled. "You need to get something straight, Ax. We're not your little action figures here. We're not toy soldiers. This is our planet. And this is our fight. You don't control us, just because you're some mighty Andalite."
"I am not trying to control anyone," Ax said.
"Yeah, right!" she snapped. "The information all goes one way. We tell you everything, you tell us squat. Oh, you sound like you're being straight sometimes, but you never tell us anything useful."
"You said you knew the Yeerks would probably destroy any Controller that went bad on them," Marco pressed. "How did you know that? Has all this happened before, on some other planet?"
She took over. "We show you our world. We take you in. You see our families, you read our books, you even go to our school. And then you keep secrets from us."
Ax looked like he felt battered by their words…
The conversation went downhill from there, but it all came to one point: guilt and shame. For whatever reason, Ax wouldn't divulge his knowledge to them out of a sense of guilt and shame.
Even now, Rachel could hear the very same accusatory words she'd thrown at Ax back then:
"So not only are you keeping secrets from us, you're getting us to keep secrets from ourselves!"
It was only after Ax had left for a while and the Animorphs had gotten into yet another confrontation with Visser Three, did Ax finally come back and explain everything to them. It was the shocking revelation that the Yeerks had only become such a galaxy-wide threat because a well intentioned but foolish Andalite named Seerow had given them the power to leave their own home world, thus leading to the current struggle against the Yeerk Empire and its goal of enslaving every potential species it could find. The Andalites' reluctance to share anything else with other species, even in the fight against the Yeerks, was born out of the fear that they would be repeating history and creating new threats to let loose on the galaxy.
Rachel's own words to Ax back then now echoed in her mind. Now she couldn't help but wonder, was this how Ax felt back then? Maybe wanting to share what he knew but feeling as though he couldn't do that?
Rachel and the others had certainly felt bad for the one true Andalite marooned on Earth and they couldn't imagine how he must have felt… but now, she was starting to have a very good idea. And at least Ax would have gotten to go back home eventually, once his people arrived and the war against the Yeerks was officially over.
She sent a silent apology to her alien teammate, wherever he was. For that matter, she sent a silent message to all of the other Animorphs, wherever they were in relation to her.
After taking a moment to collect herself, Rachel turned back to the punching bag and continued to pummel away at it once again.
"It's not the same thing," she growled under her breath. "Apples and oranges… not the same thing…"
But even as she hit the punching bag, her own words from her previous life continued to echo in her mind…
"So now you're not just keeping secrets from us, you're getting us to keep secrets from ourselves!"
"It's a completely different situation…" she muttered.
"The information all goes one way. We tell you everything, you tell us squat. Oh, you sound like you're being straight sometimes, but you never tell us anything useful."
"It's not the same thing at all…" she growled.
"…We take you in. You see our families… And then you keep secrets from us."
"NO, IT'S NOT!" she roared, slamming her fist into the punching bag with all her strength.
She distinctly heard a creaking sound, and then the bolts keeping the punching bag suspended from the ceiling broke. The bag dangled ominously for a moment, and then finally fell to the floor due to insufficient support with a loud THUD.
And just then a lot of dust fell from above and floated down onto her, and she instinctively covered her mouth and her face so she wouldn't breathe in any of it.
"Oh, great," she spat sarcastically. "Just great!"
As she shook her head and sent the dust flying every which way out of her long blonde hair, she heard someone rushing in the hallway outside.
"Chloé, are you alright!?" Jean called from outside. "Some people nearby heard something!"
"Hang on, Jean," she coughed out as she got up and walked across the room to the door. Jean stood there, looking concerned.
"What happened?"
"I think I have a screw loose," she said nonchalantly, jerking her thumb over her shoulder to point at the mess in her room.
"Oh my," Jean commented, eyes widening just a little.
"Yeah, we need to get that fixed."
"I'll get somebody on that right away," Jean began to say, but Rachel quickly stopped him.
"Actually, can it wait until I go to school tomorrow? Somebody could fix it while I'm out for the day."
Jean could see her reasoning, and so he went with it. "If that will be all, Chloé?"
"Yeah, Jean. Sorry, I just… I think I just need to be alone right now."
"Very well."
And just like that, Rachel was alone again, without either of her best friends.
She didn't want to indulge in self-pity, but now she felt so isolated and alone again, and she hated it.
Alone again, with only her own thoughts and musings for company…
As crazy as it was, Rachel sometimes felt like she wanted to tell somebody about her secret, if only because it could get to her at times.
But she couldn't tell anyone her secret!
…or could she?
The very idea of it was insane, it went against her very own personal rule of "don't tell anyone anything ever" which Rachel had established for herself as soon as she remembered everything in this world, and she was afraid of what would happen if she told anyone. And it was a perfectly valid concern, because the last thing she wanted or needed was to end up in an insane asylum. Or worse, what if some kind of government spooks or shadowy organizations got wind of it and wanted to get more out of her?
But then again, she now lived in a world where superheroes and supervillains existed, where people with crazy powers existed, and what could only be described as magic… so maybe something involving reincarnation and parallel universes wouldn't be too unbelievable?
Would they believe her if she told them about parasitic slugs from other planets, as well as the power to transform into animals to fight them? Would they believe her, especially if she told them about some of her wilder tales, like morphing out of control because her body couldn't handle acquiring crocodile DNA, or accidentally getting split in two as "Nice Rachel" and "Mean Rachel" who then had to be fused back together to create normal Rachel again?
But then it all led to a bigger problem: Could they understand if she explained to them just what she'd had to do to survive? How would they react if she told them of the approximate number of sentient beings she'd killed, human and alien alike?
And, worst of all, what about the fact that Rachel had enjoyed fighting that war? That she'd been a warrior in need of a war?
Would they still want her to be their friend, let alone know her?
Deep down, maybe Rachel truly did want to tell someone, but she was just too afraid of what might go wrong and how anyone would react.
Growling and shaking her head in frustration, she pushed it out of her mind and decided to focus on something instead. She'd deal with this later.
Rachel's gaze wandered across the room… where it lingered on her headboard full of personal pictures.
She knew her own display like the back of her hand, and sure enough, her eyes roved over the pictures until she found the right one. There was her on vacation with her father André… there was her posing with President Camilla Hombee when the American superhero was visiting France last year… ah, there it was.
It was a picture of Chloé's twelfth birthday. There she was in the middle, between Marinette on her right and Adrien on her left (so from the viewer's perspective, it went Marinette-Chloé-Adrien from left to right). She had an arm around each of their shoulders, and Marinette smiled shyly for the camera while Adrien looked more calm and confident.
She felt a wave of bittersweet nostalgia wash over her as she looked at the photograph.
It was a snapshot of one of the happiest times of Chloé's young life.
Barely a week or so later, Chloé would wake up screaming in the middle of the night because she remembered everything as Rachel.
And without even thinking about it, her eyes wandered over to her walk-in closet, where she knew that a certain other picture lay hidden out of sight…
A box of Chloé Bourgeois' old things sat in the closest, mementos from her childhood which even now she just didn't have the heart to get rid of. Even without walking over to open the closet and then open the box within, she could just see the box and its contents, visualizing them in her mind's eye. Hidden behind her old teddy bear Mister Cuddly was that picture she drew when she was five years old, the thing she saw in a "dream."
It was herself and her friends in morph: Rachel herself as a bear, Jake as a tiger, Tobias as a hawk, Cassie as a wolf, and Marco as a gorilla. And they were all gathered around some Andalite — was that supposed to be Elfangor or Ax? even she wasn't sure — who was holding the "blue box" which gave others the power to morph.
Deep down, Rachel both felt and knew that it was stupid to leave that thing lying around, but for some reason, something stopped her from destroying it and obliterating every last trace of it.
So she just kept it there, hidden from view.
She was taken away from her current train of thought when her cell phone rang. But it wasn't Marinette's phone number…
"C'mon, pick up…" Adrien muttered. Knowing Chloé, she was probably suspicious at first because he didn't recognize the number he was calling from (it was a burner phone he kept, just in case).
Finally, she picked up. "Who is this?"
"Chloé, it's me."
"Adrien!? Where were you today? Are you alright?"
Adrien smiled a little. Even though Chloé was slightly younger than him, she had this "big sister" mentality and approach which he appreciated.
"I'm fine, Chloé," he reassured her. "I was almost at the front steps of the school when Nathalie and the Gorilla caught up with me, and I wasn't affected by that rock monster thing running around. Can you believe it was right outside the front gates?"
"I don't need to believe it, because I saw it on TV; I've seen your house enough times to recognize your front gates just like that."
"And how about you, are you OK?"
"I was never in danger, but I'm still just as concerned as anyone else."
"I bet it's a real circus on your end, huh?"
"Oh yeah. I'll be lucky to see my father at all today, with everything going on." And then, after a beat, she hastily added, "Oh shoot, I'm so sorry, Adrien, I wasn't trying to…"
"It's fine, Chloé, I know what you meant."
"And how about you and your family?"
"Oh, well, of course Father reprimanded me for trying to escape to school, but I haven't seen him since then."
"So he's angry about you trying to go to school, but not the least bit concerned about a supervillain practically on your doorstep?"
"I hate to say it, but it kinda looks that way."
"No comment."
"Still, now that you mention it… what did you think about those two new heroes, huh? Cat Noir and Ladybug?"
Ladybug…
Adrien felt a little strange as he thought about her. She was brave and confident and clever, and he'd liked her right away. And yet, at the same time, she seemed very familiar to him…
Bright blue eyes, jet black hair, slim build… have I met her somewhere before? he thought to himself.
But then he realized that Chloé was saying something, and he forced himself to pay attention to their conversation again.
"Huh?" he blurted. "Sorry, Chloé, can you repeat that again?"
"…I said: Do you really want me to answer that honestly, Adrien?"
"Why do you sound like that, Chloé?"
"Sorry, Sunshine, but the last person I just spoke to over the phone got upset by my critique of our new heroes."
"Come again?"
"To answer your question: Those two heroes seem to have their hearts in the right place, but they must clearly be new at all this, because they didn't know how to work together. And, not to sound too harsh, but the cat hero in particular seemed kinda reckless."
Me-ouch, Adrien wanted to remark, or at least he would have made that catty pun if he was the heroic Cat Noir and not plain old Adrien Agreste. His pride was a little bruised, but he couldn't hate Chloé for it; her no-nonsense attitude was one of the things he liked and admired about her as a friend.
Still, maybe she had a point there?
Off to one side, Adrien could see and hear Plagg softly cackling at him. No doubt the little kwami thought it was hilarious, watching Adrien get criticized for what he'd done as a superhero by his own best friend who had no idea that Adrien and Cat Noir were one and the same.
Then again, maybe he shouldn't have been surprised; after all, secret identity shenanigans were just part of the package when it came to being a superhero.
And then he remembered something else about the fight: The boy who had been Stoneheart seemed very familiar to him.
"Hey, Chloé," he spoke up. "That person who was the supervillain… after he changed back to normal, I mean… he seemed familiar. Have I met him before?"
"His name is Ivan," Chloé told him. "Ivan Bruel. I've had him as a classmate before too, so you might have met him at one of my birthday or holiday parties or something."
"Is he alright?"
"I dunno, I haven't been able to talk to him. I don't even know if he'll be at school tomorrow."
School. Tomorrow. Adrien so badly wanted to think about that, but he didn't dare say anything about it out loud. He had no idea who could have been listening in on him at that moment.
And speaking of which… was that Father's footsteps he heard coming up the stairs outside his bedroom door?
He couldn't take a chance.
"Sorry, Chloé, but I need to go."
"Adrien, wait—"
But he had already hit the button to drop the call. He felt bad about it, but he couldn't risk getting caught.
Adrien was sure that Chloé would understand, but that didn't make it any less unpleasant for him.
Maybe — hopefully — he could finally go to school tomorrow, and see Chloé and Marinette and all these other people again.
But until then, it was back to being alone all by himself.
And to think he'd woken up this morning looking forward to this day. Now he couldn't wait for this dismal day to end.
Adrien sat back down on his couch, watching Plagg continue to zip and zoom around his enormous bedroom, wondering what he could do next…
Across Paris, three different people, each in possession of a Miraculous, contemplated the day's events.
In her humble little home, Marinette Dupain-Cheng kept the Ladybug earrings safely locked away in their box, and privately berated herself for failing on her very first mission.
In his needlessly grandiose bedroom, Adrien Agreste dwelled on the day's events, wondering how he could fix the problem or keep fighting without his partner's help, even though he still had the Black Cat ring.
And in his secret lair, the one calling himself Hawk Moth could only cackle at how well things were going for him so far. It would only be a matter of time until he finally obtained the two most powerful Miraculous items and make his wish…
But unbeknownst to any of them, there was a fourth person in the city who was dwelling on it more than most, and for very unique reasons.
In her bedroom, the girl known as Chloé Bourgeois brooded, wishing once again that she still had the power to morph like she did back when she was truly Rachel. Or that she had any special power, really, because she wasn't that picky. It just agonized her to know that she had all this experience fighting dangerous enemies, but now had no way to put it to good use.
She thought back to her old friends and teammates.
"I could really use you guys right about now…" she muttered out loud.
She didn't know precisely what she and the other Animorphs could have done against an evil threat like this, but surely it would have been better than nothing at all.
For the first time since she got back her "Rachel memories" a few years ago, the girl known as Chloé Bourgeois slept very badly that night.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: ...Yeah, this part took forever, because not only did I need to rewatch "Origins" to get everything right (as well as account for AU differences, like Marinette and Adrien already knowing each other), but I fretted about how to handle the telephone conversation and dispute between Rachel/Chloé and Marinette.
Thanks again to both Khanofallorcs and Nomolosk for helping me with this! Not only with beta-reading, but to the former for helping me come up with a brand name like "Atelier #1600" as an alternative to "MDC" (the realization about Marinette's initials doubling as Roman numerals was my original idea, and I don't think anyone else has done that before) and to the latter for helping me with the telephone spat which gave me the most grief when writing this.
Also, if you're reading this on AO3, then you might have noticed the illustration in middle of the chapter, done by the talented Misticdaisy who I found through other fan art for this fandom. I give my thanks again to her, and you can find her on DeviantArt!
