They'd decided to create the crystal in the Hokage's office, once Xander and Anko had returned from… collecting Mana along the border with Stone, expanding further the number of Red and White Mana he had available by five each.

"The final results are in," the Toad Sage said cheerfully as he rechecked his work on the massive seal surrounding Xander, "the healing spell you use works exactly as advertised. How'd the seal practice go?"

"Still much better with his tongue than his hand," Anko interjected with a smirk.

"Very true," Xander admitted cheerfully, "but I also managed to figure out regeneration, unholy strength, and holy strength, all of which I can apply by mouth."

"Apply by mouth?" Sarutobi asked.

"Well, any bodily fluid really, but saliva works so I can apply my magic with a kiss," Xander explained. "Actual seal work using chakra is still an explosive work in progress."

"And what are the details of the three new… magics you've learned?" Sarutobi asked curiously.

"Unholy and holy strength both strengthen the body with unholy requiring Black Mana and concentrating on offensive strength while holy strength requires White Mana and concentrates on defensive strength," Xander explained. "It's a permanent effect costing one Mana. Regeneration is a bit more complicated. I connect someone to a forest and if they take lethal damage, it automatically kicks in to heal them, but only once per day."

"A single Mana? How strong are we talking here?" Jiraiya asked.

"Lean forward," Xander said. "This is holy strength."

Jiraiya leaned forward, allowing Xander to kiss the side of his neck, his eyes shooting open and his breath hissing out as the magic did its work, causing Jiraiya's muscles to strain his kimono. "Whoa!" He adjusted his suddenly too tight clothes.

"Are you OK?" Sarutobi asked.

"Yeah," Jiraiya agreed. "Could have done without the kiss, but… it's similar to the physical effects of channeling sage chakra, but more harmonious…"

"What are the limitations of this technique?" Sarutobi asked curiously.

"I can only use the pattern three times a day and you can't layer it on top of itself," Xander said. "It's one of the most basic enhancements I can use on others."

"You can't use it on yourself?" Jiraiya asked.

"I'm enhanced by being a Planeswalker seven ways from Sunday," Xander replied, "and it's similar enough to how I'm enhanced by my connection to White Mana so it'd be like layering it on top of itself."

"A lot of your basic enchantments are learned by examining the way you are connected to the various types of Mana," Sarutobi said thoughtfully.

"Yeah," Xander said slowly. "That's why all Planeswalkers learn a lot of the same basic spells, it's practically programmed in. Why didn't I see this before?"

"He's called The Professor for a reason," Anko said proudly.

"This opens up a lot of doors for me," Xander said. "You are so getting a regenerative seal! It's worth the permanent Mana cost."

Sarutobi laughed.

"Let's get to work, I wanna see this crystal," Jiraiya said, activating the seals he'd drawn and making Anko wince.

"It's like my senses are packed in cotton," Anko complained.

"That just means its working," Jiraiya said with a smirk.

"And on that note, let's begin," Xander said. Closing his eyes, he felt his connection to the plains and pulled White Mana into his hand, letting it pool there while he tapped another, and then another, and then another…

The three Nin shielded their eyes as power flooded the room, burning through the seals like they were flash paper, and still Xander called up more power until he seemed to hold the sun itself in his hands. Frozen in awe at the act of raw creation in front of them, the Nin could do naught but watch.

"And tap Magic Girl Tokyo…" Xander said distractedly. "And prest-oops!"

"Um… hi," a young boy dressed in orange offered as Xander held him bridal style, having caught him as he fell from the ceiling.

"And the Silver Millennium Crystal is now… equipped on a small child," Xander deadpanned.

"Naruto… What have you done?" Sarutobi asked, worried about what this could mean.

"Equipped?" Jiraiya asked as he recovered.

"I was climbing on the ceiling and things got fuzzy," Naruto said.

"It's bonded to him," Xander explained. "As long as he lives, it is his to wield and no one can take it from him."

"Where is it?" Anko asked.

"Probably on his chest," Xander guessed. "Over the heart is a traditional spot."

"Can you put me down?" Naruto asked.

"OK, you are the ugliest Princess I've ever seen," Xander said.

"Hah!" Naruto laughed. "Sexy jutsu!"

*POOF*

Xander found himself holding an overly curvy underage blonde girl dressed in wisps of smoke.

"That is a great transformation," Xander said, placing him on his feet and copying it. "The smoke that draws the eye and distracts them has to be the best part." Xander spun around but the wisps of smoke stubbornly clung to his groin and breasts.

"Finally, someone gets it!" Naruto crowed.

"How safe is the crystal?" Sarutobi asked intently.

Xander dismissed his transformation. "It's an extremely powerful reality warping device," Xander said seriously. "It takes enormous amounts of Mana to use, but that can be gotten around by using your own life force."

"And there is no way to unbind it?" Sarutobi asked.

"Nope," Xander said. "I'd suggest a lot of training and having someone with him twenty four seven."

"Really?" Naruto asked, changing back into himself, the amount of hope in his voice stabbing a dagger in the hearts of the Nin present.

"I'll make him my apprentice," Jiraiya decided.

"You seem pretty unconcerned at losing such a powerful artifact," Anko told Xander.

"I was giving it to the village anyway," Xander replied with a shrug. "He's young and enthusiastic, so learning to wield the crystal will be easier for him, as it's very complicated to use properly."

"Plus you can make another," Anko realized.

"Not on this plane," Xander said, "or possibly just not in this solar system. It's a unique item, beyond legendary. There will never be two crystals in one place."

"What crystals?" Naruto asked.

"Take off your shirt," Jiraiya ordered. "It should be stuck on your chest."

"Eh?" Naruto asked, confused as he took off his bright orange jacket.

"At least we won't have to worry about him accidentally activating it," Sarutobi said as Naruto removed his shirt.

"No, that will be a problem," Xander said. "See, it's complicated because it has a million and one uses. I just told you the most dangerous ones. Lesser powers take less power to use."

"This could be a problem," Jiraiya said as he stared at the seal on Naruto's stomach, which was completely visible and had the glowing crystal lodged in the center of it, slowly changing the black ink of the seal into lines of gleaming silver.

"You didn't happen to seal some great evil connected to the moon into the kid, did ya?" Xander asked.

"Wait, what?" Naruto asked, seeing no one had jumped to say no while he tugged at the crystal that seemed to be glued to his belly button.

"The crystal was created by the Moon Kingdom to rid the universe of dark powers," Xander explained, "So if you were to have… the bunny of the moon sealed into you, or rather an evil version of it, the crystal would eat it."

"Eat it?" Jiraiya asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, but what are the odds… He had the evil bunny of the moon sealed into him?" Xander asked in surprise.

"The nine tailed fox," Sarutobi admitted, "though on reflection, the ears were more like a rabbit's."

"Foxes hunt rabbits, that's probably why it'd change its form to that," Jiraiya offered.

"I thought the fourth Hokage killed it!" Naruto exclaimed, looking at his stomach in horror. "Why was it stuck in me?!"

"It was too powerful to be killed, all he could do was seal it away," the Hokage explained, "and you were born at just the right time, so he entrusted you to keep Konoha safe."

"And that's why everyone ignores me?" Naruto asked.

"They hate and fear the fox and since you contain it, keeping everyone safe, some of those feelings leak over onto you," Sarutobi admitted.

"'Did' contain the Fox," Xander said as he examined the seal, "or rather in about five minutes that's what I'll say. Mr Bun is going to be completely absorbed by then and I am seriously surprised it's taking this long, the Fox must have been enormously powerful."

"Mr Bun?" Anko asked.

"Short for bunny," Xander replied. "The crystal is purifying as it goes, so the bunny will be purged of all darkness as it's absorbed."

"What are the lesser functions?" Jiraiya asked as they all watched the slow crawl of silver across the seal.

"The healing spell I use I picked up from it. It's also good at purging darkness, getting rid of demons… and just about anything he wants it to do."

"Can it make ramen?" Naruto asked excitedly.

Xander nodded. "Create food and drink is a very basic function, but you'll have to wait for it to finish first."

"Can it harm him?" Sarutobi asked.

"He can harm himself using it," Xander replied. "It doesn't act independently if that's what you're asking, but he could easily kill himself by trying something stupid like… resurrecting an entire graveyard. Doing something like that would cost so much energy, it'd suck the life right out of him."

"But it's safe to use for healing?" Sarutobi asked.

"As long as he doesn't overdo it," Xander agreed. "A room full of people a day isn't a big strain, but an entire hospital floor would be."

The seal on Naruto's stomach lit up, glowing silver and shrinking as it was absorbed into the gem, which was glowing brighter and brighter.

"What do I do?!" Naruto asked worriedly.

"That just means it's fully charged and ready for use," Xander assured him, "you don't have to do anything."

"And it's always going to glow like that?" Jiraiya asked.

"As long as it's charged," Xander replied. "Put on your shirt and no one will notice."

Naruto quickly pulled on his shirt, covering the gem, which was still glowing brightly but was much less noticeable. "How do I use it to make ramen?" he asked excitedly.

"Concentrate on the crystal and the food you want," Xander said. "The better you visualize it, the easier it will be."

"Is that safe?" Sarutobi asked as Naruto closed his eyes and scrunched his face in concentration.

"It's best he start with small uses of the crystal so he can get a feel for it," Xander replied. "The last thing you want is for his first use to be something large that kills him."

There was a flash of light and a bowl the size of a child's wading pool appeared in the center of the room, filled with ramen.

"It worked!" Naruto exclaimed happily.

"Someone needs to teach him moderation," Jiraiya said, catching Naruto before he could dive in.

"That lets me out," Anko said cheerfully, grabbing Xander's hand. "Come on, we have a prank to play!"

"Use chopsticks!" Jiraiya ordered, pulling a pair out of nowhere and forcing Naruto to grab them.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"You can use Green Mana to restore someone to what they should have been, which is a bit larger in most cases, but can you use Green Mana to make giant creatures out of normal ones like the creatures in the Forest of Death?" Anko asked.

"Theoretically… yes," Xander agreed. "One of the most basic Green spells is called Giant Growth, but it only lasts a day and then they return to normal. Permanently enhancing with Green Mana is something I'll have to study to figure out."

"You could make someone a giant for a day?" Anko asked, surprised.

"Nope, or at least not yet," Xander replied. "I was working on other things. Give me a day or two in the forest and I'll probably have it."

"We've got a clan with a skill like that," she said thoughtfully, "but it only lasts a short time because of how much chakra it costs."

"It's pretty cheap, but Planeswalker cheap, not normal person cheap, for me to cast," Xander said.

"Something to look into later," Anko said, "but for now, let me explain my prank idea to you…"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Well, that was terrifying," Jiraiya told Sarutobi as they watched Naruto attempt to eat several times his body weight in ramen.

"Indeed," the old man agreed, lighting his pipe and noticing his hands looked a little younger and he felt a bit stronger than he had just a few hours ago. "We forgot that for all his kindness, he is not human."

"I thought all that talk of growing more powerful than the gods was idle boasting," Jiraiya admitted.

"Apparently he was being modest," Sarutobi said with a small chuckle.

"Sometimes you have to see something to believe it," Jiraiya admitted.

*BURP!*

The two turned and saw Naruto lying against the inside of the empty ramen pool with a contented smile on his face.

"And sometimes not even then," Sarutobi admitted.

Typing By: Abyssal Angel