"Your guard is slipping, Padawan," Jaro Tapal said from somewhere to his right.
Cal, attention fixed on the two training droids floating around him, couldn't be certain where exactly his Master stood, but he responded in an instant. "Sorry, Master."
The Jedi hummed in response, watching his Padawan intently. "No need to apologise. Just focus on the exercise."
"Yes, Master." As instructed, Cal raised his arms slightly, adjusted his grip on his lightsaber and brought the blue blade up to intercept the bolt of energy coming from the droid furthest from him. He felt the energy dissipate through the weapon but had little time to think on it before another bolt came flying at him. He blocked the second as easily as the first and grinned. This isn't so difficult, he thought, swiping the lightsaber in a downwards arc.
"I should hope not, Padawan." Cal's eyes widened involuntarily. He hadn't meant for that to slip through the training bond. Behind him, the Lasat watched on fondly but said no more on the matter. "Remember your footwork."
Cal spared a moment to look at his feet, prepared to readjust them to match that which he'd been taught, only to hesitate with uncertainty. He already held the correct stance. His confusion rang through the force, but, before he could voice it a sharp stinging sensation drew his attention back to the droids. One had taken advantage of his lowered guard and a training bolt had slipped past his weakened defences.
I thought you were finding this easy, Padawan. The teasing remark filtered across the bond. Another shot clipped his shoulder, the pain nothing more than a slight shock to his system, disappeared in an instance with no injury or lingering sensation there to suggest anything had happened at all. Cal scrambled backwards anyway, hurriedly adding distance between himself and the danger. This did little to deter the training droids, both of which just continued their advance, shortening the distance as quickly as he stretched it. However, this did give Cal the time he needed to pick up his defence again. Just in time, as the droids wasted none of it, both now firing at him together. The tactic forced him to block an attack with his lightsaber and then duck out of the way of the other almost immediately after. He didn't see that last shot brush past him, but he could feel the energy through the force as it disappeared somewhere behind his head.
Once he had everything under control again; the droids both in clear sight, his weapon held in the standard guard in front of him and his feet definitely in the correct stance, Cal spared a glance at his master. "You distracted me," he said, not hiding the accusation from his voice, though there was no heat to his words.
He flicked his head back to the droids when a loud whirring reached his ears, one suddenly flying very close to his position in order to get behind him.
"Did I, now?" The amusement in his Master's tone failed to reach his ears as the droids once again had his undivided attention. Thanks to that little move, he now had the misfortune of them hovering on opposing sides of him, the prospect of holding them both off successfully had become an increasingly difficult task.
"Padawan, your footwork," Master Tapal stated again, and Cal, like before, looked down at his feet. His Master wouldn't make the same joke twice.
This time he truly stood incorrectly, and with his attention drawn to it, Cal could feel the way his balance was off, as if the ground wasn't quite steady. He was part way through adjusting it whilst still keeping track of the droids, when one of them fired a training bolt at him, following it up with another in quick succession.
He barely had time to block the first, aimed at his midsection, before the second came careening for his face. It caught him off guard, accustomed to the consistency of the previous shots, and he awkwardly pulled his lightsaber up in front of him. Unlike the first which he knocked away with a well practised ease, the second connected with the blade before he had the chance to properly position it in front of him. The weapon was held uncomfortably in his hands. His wrists, still partially twisted from blocking the last bolt, locked when it connected with plasma and he felt the power behind the energy that his lightsaber usually dispersed. That, combined with his poor footwork was enough to tip his balance in gravities favour. Before he realised what had happened, he found himself lying face down on the floor.
As he landed, his right hand took the brunt of the fall, twisting awkwardly with his weapon still in hand. Luckily he'd automatically let go of the switch as he fell, but somehow the hilt still managed to connect painfully with his cheek.
"Cal!" His master stood by his side in an instant.
"I'm okay, Master," Cal said, rolling onto his back and giving his Master a shaky smile. Even crouched down at his side, the Lasat Jedi still towered over him. He towered over most of the people they met, both in the temple and off world. Cal knew it was unlikely he'd ever reach his Master's height, Lasat as a general rule tended to be a head taller than most other sentient beings. But he did wonder how long it would be before he wasn't craning his neck to speak to the Jedi when standing beside him. He sat up and still his head barely reached his Master's shoulders. So unlikely any time soon, then.
"Are you hurt?" Cal shrugged. His wrist ached something fierce, more so than he thought to be normal for the slight tumble, but he could still move it with minimal ease. Likewise, his cheek seemed to hurt more than he expected, the area that connected with the lightsaber stinging as if he'd caught it on the blade, not the metal hilt. He brought his non injured hand up to feel it but found no broken skin. Strange.
"Cal?"
The use of his name reminded him he did in fact need to answer the question. "It's nothing, Master."
His master gave him a pointed look and he sagged his shoulders, his will crumbling immediately. "I just knocked my head," he admitted reluctantly. "But it was just my cheek. It feels fine, and my hand doesn't hurt that much."
Cal watched as his Master frowned in thought and felt his hopes crumble. The Jedi's next words confirmed his fear. "Perhaps we should call it here for today."
"No. No. I'm fine," he quickly said, attempting to reassure as he jumped to his feet just to prove his point. "It really is nothing." His Master had hired this training room out for the entire afternoon, finally willing to show him the basics of wielding a double bladed lightsaber. He wasn't about to let a slight fall ruin that. Not after how many months of asking 一begging一 he'd had to put in to get here.
The Lasat looked him over for several drawn out seconds, studying his Padawan's face and then the injured hand. He lingered on Cal's face again, noting the hope in his eyes and let out a deep sigh through his nose before shaking his head and standing up as well. "Alright. But I think we're finished with the training droids today."
The man turned to face the two droids, both of which had powered down at some point and now lay on the floor. A small flick of the Jedi Master's hand had both droids rising in the air and floating carefully to the side of the training mats, where they then slowly fell back to the floor, now out of the way.
Then he walked to the opposite end of the mat to Cal and turned to face him, unclipping his own lightsaber from his belt. "We'll start with a simple spar and take things from there. Remember Cal, we can always return here another day. I don't want you to further injure your wrist, so if it gets worse, you'll tell me. Understood?"
Cal nodded once, and mirrored the older Jedi's actions. "Yes, Master." He picked his lightsaber up from the floor with his right hand and couldn't help the slight wince that escaped his lips as the joint twinged at the movement. It clearly didn't appreciate the weight of a lightsaber in his hand. Unsurprisingly, his master noticed the action immediately and raised an eyebrow. Sheepishly, Cal switched the blade back to his left hand, ignoring the look his Master gave him and the sigh that originated from that direction. When no comment called a halt to the spar, Cal risked a glance and saw his Master waiting patiently. He ignited his weapon in accordance with the Jedi, his face instantly lit in a ghostly blue light and both Jedi bowed to one another.
They started circling each other, neither willing to make the first move. His heart hammered in his chest, as it always did at the beginning of a spar. He controlled it with a careful measure of breath, his chest rising and falling evenly as he released the nervous energy that made him want to attack first. His Master's form held no clear opening and whilst his sprained hand wasn't serious, it would put him at a disadvantage fighting with his left. It was better to wait for his Master to make the first move and perhaps that would offer the chance Cal needed to slip past his guard.
And attack, his Master did. A swift overhand strike from the left and Cal was bringing his own blade up to meet it, holding the hilt in both hands as the force behind the blow erupted through the weapons. It sent a dull ache through his wrist so he pushed more strength through his uninjured hand, letting it take the brunt of the power. He had expected the attack, had been watching and prepared for his Master to move first, yet the reality of the situation offered very little in the way of a viable response. So he remained on the defensive, blocking blow after blow, his Master never one to go easy on him and not yet holding back.
Soon Cal's heart was racing with exertion and adrenaline. It wasn't a real fight, and other than a few mild burns that wouldn't last more than a few hours, there would be very little in the way of consequences should he fail to win. Perhaps a bruised ego. A little bit of demoralisation. Nothing he wouldn't bounce back from, forgotten within the hour. He kept this in mind as he failed to find room to manoeuvre, blocking the rain of attacks headed his way.
As of yet his Master hadn't ignited the second blade of his lightsaber, but the single blade on its own felt just as imposing, even in just a training scenario. His Master was a towering force to be reckoned with. In the two years he had been training with the Lasat Jedi, Cal had slowly grown used to this fact. Their missions before the war had involved a lot less violence, consisting of political mediations and trade disputes, but on the missions where conflict had occurred, Cal had always felt safe with his Master fighting alongside him.
Unfortunately, when facing his Master in the training halls, this factor could easily be forgotten. Sympathy for their enemies would better describe the situation, of which Cal could recount many fleeing on several occasions rather than chance the wrath of his Master.
"Remember your lessons."
Right. His training. What had he been taught in the past?
Cal leapt out of the range of the blade careening towards his side, altering his stance as his feet landed on solid ground to oppose the position his Master now held. "Well done, Padawan. If you cannot match your opponent in strength…"
"Then surpass him in speed," Cal finished, ducking under another blow aimed at his head. The second blade sparking to life as he dodged the first caught him off guard, the extra attack following on from the first in a surprise move that didn't disrupt his Master's flow of movement. Cal barely stumbled to the side of it, his feet moving double time to keep up with the momentum of the rest of his body.
Even on the lower training setting, a lightsaber still released energy in the form of heat, and Cal felt this now as the blade passed only a hair's breadth from his cheek. The whole left side of his face seemed to absorb the heat, as if he'd just left the shade of a tree to bask in the sunlight, and even after the blade retracted again Cal could still feel the lingering sensation.
When he concentrated on it, the warmth began to increase, fraction by fraction, increasing until the skin itched and stung with the tell tale signs of glancing blow. But he knew that hadn't happened, he didn't doubt for a second he wouldn't notice such an injury, as minor as it would be from a training blade. On top of that, his Master would certainly stop the duel to make sure no real damage had occurred.
Cal fumbled a block and scowled at the continued assault. Yes. Clearly his Master had no plans to let up.
Which was beyond strange, but he didn't have a chance to think about it given his current situation, not unless he wanted other injuries to join the others.
"Keep your thoughts on the duel, Padawan. Your attention is slipping."
His cheek still stung, but as Cal chose to do as his Master instructed, the pain faded until it disappeared entirely, as if it hadn't even been there to begin with. How strange?
"Come on, Cal. What else have we learnt?" Right, he needed to concentrate. He shook his head, forcibly clearing his mind to focus on this moment alone and then racked his brain, trying to figure out what lesson his Master referred to.
In the force, his Master felt as calm as ever, not giving anything away, so Cal turned his attention to the movements. Each footstep, every swing of his Master's arm, and any adjustment of his weapon, Cal stored away, trying to evaluate the movements whilst simultaneously holding an attack off. It was difficult work, but eventually it paid off as Cal picked up on the minute break in defence as his Master switched from a single hand grip to a double.
He didn't take the opening immediately, unsure whether to take the risk. His Master had to be leaving himself open to attack intentionally, there could be no way the Jedi would repeatedly leave his guard down in such a way. Yet Cal still couldn't bring himself to make a move.
Again, the opening appeared and Cal realised exactly what sort of opening it was. The slight elevation of his Master's arms, the gate a fraction too far apart, his left side completely open to attack. It all culminated in the chance for Cal to duck under the blow and into his Master's space, the split second moment to slice his weapon across the Jedi's unprotected side, in the exact method they had been practising only last week.
Surely that settled it? His Master had to be allowing him the chance to try out a new form in as close to a real fight as they could get. That could be the only explanation, right?
Unless he was about to walk into a trap and allow his Master the chance to lecture him on the importance of patience. He waited for the same opening to occur once more, and then resolved himself for either outcome. In the exact same movement as his Master's grip slipped, Cal took a step forwards instead of backwards as he'd previously been doing, pushing through the attack to duck under the weapon heading towards him and bringing his own blade up at the same time.
He felt the contact of the blade on a solid surface before he heard his Master's slight grunt of pain, but he ignored it for a second to ensure he put space between them in case it had all been a part of some trick on his Master's part.
When he turned to look at his Master, Cal let a spark of triumph trickle through the training bond that matched the smile showing on his Master's face, even as the Jedi stood there holding a hand to his side. If his Master had been allowing the attack to slide, Cal still couldn't help his excitement at landing a hit. He'd never succeeded at such a task before, only when practising a new move would his Master allow such things to occur.
No echo of a response filtered back to him over the force though and he noticed his Master still had his hand clutched to his side, the slight pull of a frown creasing the Lasat's forehead. Then the Jedi brought the same hand to his mouth and coughed into it as if each breath irritated the back of his throat.
"Are you okay, Master?" Cal failed to keep the tremble from his voice.
Instead of an answer, the coughing continued and Cal felt worry start to claw at his insides. His cheek began to sting again in accordance with the unexpected situation. He switched his weapon off and waited for a reaction.
The coughing continued. Cal stepped forwards.
"Master!"
"I'm alright, Cal," the Jedi stated, reaching out a hand that clearly said to remain still.
Seconds felt as if they dragged out into minutes and Cal watched with bated breath, heart hammering in his chest and a cold sweat breaking out across the back of his neck. Eventually the coughing stopped and his Master straightened back to his full height.
An immense sense of relief washed over Cal when several seconds passed and no further coughing occured. For a moment he'd been truly worried. But his Master seemed fine.
Then Jaro Tapal raised his head and the fear returned in full as a trickle of blood dribbled from the corner of the Jedi's mouth, running steadily down his chin.
"Well done, Padawan," the Lasat said, a wide grin spreading across his face, allowing the blood an easier opening to escape down his chin. "You executed that move perfectly."
The praise was lost on Cal in the moment as the concern continued to rise within him. Overshadowed by the blood, the pleasant expression on his Master's face, one that usually instilled a feeling of pride, instead marred the atmosphere in the room.
"Master," Cal said, his voice shaking. "You're bleeding."
"Come now, Padawan." His Master took a step closer to Cal, unaware of the trail of blood that had now slipped past the collar of his robes. "Our sabres are at the lowest setting. Even a direct hit wouldn't cause such damage."
Cal's confusion quickly erupted in the force, alongside his concern. Things had long surpassed strange. This wasn't right. Everything felt wrong.
"Now. Remember your training. Keep your guard up." His Master gestured with his own weapon, flicking the blade slightly in an upwards motion in front of him until Cal numbly followed his lead. The duel no longer held the same excitement, and he stumbled over his training as his Master suddenly jumped forwards, bringing his lightsaber in a downward strike over his head. As their blades connected, Cal's grip loosened on his weapon at the unexpected power behind the blade, but at the last moment he managed to gain a small measure of control.
"Master, please," he said through a clenched jaw as the strength behind the weapons grew. "I think we should stop."
"But we've only just begun, and it's important you learn how to defend yourself, Padawan."
But now this close, with their weapons locked closely in front of them, a new sensation came to the forefront of Cal's mind. The smell of burning reached his nostrils, not the burning of wood which he'd grown to associate with one of the many campfires he'd sat around, either with his Master on missions, or with his friends when they had the chance to celebrate birthdays in the temple gardens. This had an acrid note to it, a smell he recognised hidden underneath a far more bitter one that hit the back of his throat.
His eyes made the connection before his nose did, and they widened as they followed the trail of smoke to a burning hole in his Master's robes. The brown fabric glowed a bright orange at the edge, surrounded by a burnt ring of black smouldering ash.
Cal's eyes were glued to the apparent injury, even as his Master remained oblivious to it. He stumbled backwards away from his Master, his lightsaber held in a loose grip in his hands as they dropped to his side. Years of ingrained training were the only thing preventing him from losing his hold on the weapon completely.
So distracted was he, that Cal didn't notice the release in tension between their two blades until his Master had already started to step around him. He stumbled forwards, barely staying on two feet.
"Come on, Padawan. Follow my lead and do as I instruct. Our lives may one day depend on it." He accompanied this last sentence with an experimental swing of his lightsaber, the azure blade cracking through the air like lightning.
Cal resolved himself for the next attack. Despite the clearly visible injuries, the blood that glowed an eerie maroon in the light of their weapons, his Master remained oblivious and the practice swings were only seconds away from becoming real ones. The Jedi raised his blade and Cal copied him, a shadow of the Lasat both physically and in experience. But then before anything else could happen, his Master's hand fumbled on the switch of the lightsaber and the blade snapped out of existence.
Cal watched in disbelief, muscles frozen in shock as his Master crumpled to the floor. The weapon dropped from his hands, the metal rattling as it hit the ground and rolled away, followed by the resounding thud of bone and muscle as the man's knees followed. It all happened in slow motion. Cal didn't even notice his own hands loosen from his own weapon as the room dropped into darkness. His Master stared numbly at his chest, reaching up for the injury there, but then his energy left him and his hand fell to his side, his legs gave out from him and he fell backwards.
The crack of his head colliding with the rocky cave floor spurred Cal into action. The Padawan ran to his Master, sliding to his knees as he grabbed the hand reaching out to him. "Master!"
"Padawan…"
"Don't talk, Master, I'll go… I'll get help."
"No!" The Lasat pulled at his hand and Cal fell forwards with the motion, not expecting the strength behind it but even that small action drained what reserves the Lasat had left. "Listen. Please."
He nodded, even as the words seemed to disappear in the haze of his mind. "Cal."
Cal flinched back as his Master said his name. It was said with barely a whisper yet it felt as if the word had been said from within him, an echo of what had been said aloud. It sent a shiver down his spine and he had to fight a sudden instinct to move away from his Master.
Without thinking, Cal turned his attention inwards to their bond and a sharp stab of pain erupted behind his eyes when he went to reach out across it, only to find the connection he was so used to relying on torn to shreds. Despite it being a metaphorical link, Cal could still see it in his mind's eye. He'd always pictured a strand that connected him to his Master's thoughts but now it came to a sudden stop, one end floating aimlessly in the vast expanse of the force, as a drift in space as he felt.
Horror engulfed him, snapping him from his own head. He expected to find his Master lying motionless on the ground, dead and broken as their bond. Yet his Master, whilst still unconscious, was in fact still alive, the Lasat's eyes moving rapidly beneath closed lids. Cal's heartbeat hadn't slowed since his Master had first looked at him with blood dripping from his mouth, but now it skipped a beat, tapping out a rapid rhythm in his chest that left him breathless. How could his Master be alive, yet their bond be so thoroughly destroyed?
Cal.
His brow furrowed as his name was called again. Now the only sound around him, it seemed to come from nowhere yet reverberated off the cave walls as if they were screaming his name themselves. Bouncing off stone and rock, and echoing down the network of tunnels far past what he could see through the darkness. Spoken from a distance, yet so close at the same time. From within him, but outside too.
There could be no mistaking it this time though. The word didn't line up with his Master's shallow breaths. The fear he had expected to grip his heart never appeared. He recognised the voice but he couldn't put his finger on where.
A gentle squeeze of his hand alerted Cal to the fact his Master had regained consciousness, if only a little, glazed eyes staring up at him as the Lasat fought the exhaustion forcing his eyelids to close. "Trust in the force, Cal. Trust… your instincts."
A final wave of reassurance washed over him, the faith and confidence from his Master a minor comfort. But as Cal sat there, the tears he expected to follow didn't fall, even as those final lingering thoughts from his Master trickled to a stop.
Cal sat there for a long time, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as the air around him suddenly felt heavy and thick, a weight settling on his shoulders, of which he couldn't pinpoint the origin. The force sung around him, opening its arms in greeting yet somehow still oddly oppressive in its embrace.
It reached out, a guide to ease the pain that had taken root in his heart and off load the sickening unease that had opened like a pit in his stomach.
He opened his eyes, expecting to see crumbling cavernous walls and the dismembered gold remains of droids. Instead, nothing. If it hadn't been for the glittering sparks of light in the distance, he could almost convince himself he'd never opened his eyes at all. It looked like the night sky, the thousands of lights the stars dotted about the galaxy, surrounding him in life as the force flowed between every being. Some glowed brighter than those beside it whilst others were so dim they blended in with the darkness around them.
In his peripheral, Cal could have sworn some even blinked out from existence. He scanned the endless expanse for one star in particular, closing his eyes once again as he settled further into the force in his search. Like the body of his Master, the familiar presence in the force he'd grown so accustomed to over the last few years had disappeared as well. He hadn't even caught the moment that integral light had flickered off for good.
Something gently encouraged him to focus on where he was, to float amongst the light instead of sinking further into it. He recognised it again and pulled back. He couldn't remember how he'd arrived here, but he knew he'd started the journey alone.
Trust in the force, his Master had said. Trust his instincts
Right. He could do that.
The presence reached out towards him again and this time Cal tentatively reached back, and with that his ability to centre his mind and body came hurtling towards him at once. Immediately he remembered what he'd been doing and the events that transpired, all of which had led to his choice in meditation, the way he'd let his mind sink back into the force, no strings attached, further than he ever had before.
Open your eyes, Cal.
He did.
A dark canvas with flickering lights. This time he could tell they were stars, not the hundreds upon thousands of living signatures that lined the force in every aspect of the universe. The white stone of the Jedi temple cut through his line of sight and a few paces ahead of him, a person, crouched down and watching him with concern.
"Get away from me!" He flinched back in surprise, pushing himself away from the figure, too overwhelmed by the past five seconds, five minutes, five hours? How long had he been sat here, lost in memories that the force had brought to life before him?
The Jedi, who he now recognised to be Master Kenobi, did as he asked and put more distance between them. He remained at Cal's level though and put his hands up in front of him in the universal sign for 'I'm not a threat'.
"It's alright, Cal," he said and slowly lowered his hands back to the ground when Cal finally locked wild eyes with him. "You're safe. We're atー."
"I know where we are." They were in the temple. Well, technically outside of it. But it was more or less the same thing. He'd come here to find peace, so why did it feel as if he'd done a lap of ther largest training room?
Master Kenobi tilted his head as if to acknowledge the statement. He went to speak but stopped himself, the famed Negotiator thinking over his words. "You were meditating," the man said instead. "You called out in the force."
Had he? He didn't remember doing so. Yet Master Kenobi was here, and Cal's breathing slightly elevated like he'd been running. "I wasn't asking for your help," he said anyway. He knew he was being unnecessarily difficult. Master Kenobi had done nothing to deserve his anger. But he'd been shocked to find him there when he'd opened his eyes, and his mind was still reeling from what had transpired.
His Master would have said that to be no excuse, that such behaviour, justifiable or not, immature for his age.
Cal didn't care. His Master wasn't here.
A shifting of fabric to his right and Cal's anger dissolved instantly as he realised someone else was in the space with them. His cheeks flushed off their own volition, though in the dark it could hardly be seen. He didn't want another Jedi, for he assumed that was who they must be, to see his outburst. It was bad enough his friends and Master Kenobi had already seen his lack of control, he didn't want another stranger seeing it as well.
The second Jedi had remained further away this whole time, present but not intruding on the situation. Having noticed Cal's reaction, they now stepped further into their secluded corner, properly making themselves known.
Then Cal realised just who the other Jedi was, and his shoulders dropped in defeat. Not only had he apparently panicked like a lost youngling and Master Kenobi had come running, but so too had Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi just as renowned within the temple and Galaxy at large. His friends would freak out if they ever found out he'd been in the presence of both Jedi at once and at that thought Cal didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. Or maybe both. That felt like an appropriate reaction to everything that had happened in the last hour. Or the last month.
Cal pulled his legs up to his chest and let his head drop to his knees. Suddenly he very much felt like a lost youngling, untethered in the one place he should feel safest, and alone on one of the most populated planets in the galaxy. He wished he could just disappear.
"I think I better head off," Master Skywalker said, breaking the strange silence that had settled over the group. "I told Snips we would go over some katas when I returned. We're still on for lunch tomorrow, right?"
There was no immediate response, and Cal raised his head slightly until only his eyes were visible over the top of his crossed arms. Master Skywalker remained out of sight, but he could see Master Kenobi. Both men were having some sort of silent conversation.
"Yes," the oldest said hesitantly, before quickly recovering. The slip almost went by unnoticed but he continued before anyone could focus on it. "Of course. Tell her I said hello."
"Will do. Good night, Master." A pause. "Padawan."
"Good night, Anakin."
The Jedi Knight's footsteps started to retreat towards the temple, disappearing entirely not long after. The silence resumed. Master Kenobi remained kneeling on the floor. It couldn't be comfortable. Cal's legs had started to go numb from sitting on the hard stone for so long and his muscles had frozen from the cold seeping through his clothing. The nightly breeze in the air didn't help matters.
A flash of orange in the distance caught his attention. The taillight of a speeder perhaps, or the reflection of a sign on a window. Whatever it had been, it disappeared just as quickly. But in the fraction of a second it had been there, it glowed the same burning colour as the edge of a blaster hole, and he felt the phantom warmth of his Master's injury on the palms of his hands. He quickly placed them flat on the floor, willing the chilled stone to cool them just as fast.
He knew his movements were obvious, but like the last time they'd talked, Master Kenobi made no mention of it. His frown just deepened in contemplation. It did seem to be what pushed the man into a decision though, and the Jedi Master stretched out of his crouched position.
"Are you leaving too?" Cal suddenly had the overwhelming desire to not be alone.
"Not unless you want me to," Master Kenobi said, catching the desperation in Cal's question.
Cal said nothing. He just returned to burying his head on his knees, blocking out the world as much as he wanted to his own thoughts. He remained that way in silence, torn between asking for help and not wanting to disturb the Jedi any longer.
He'd almost forgotten the man was there when he heard footsteps make their way closer to him, stopping at his side. They were followed by a groan as the man lowered himself to the ground to sit beside him.
"I'm not as young as I used to be," Master Kenobi said by way of explanation. The joke had Cal raising his head a centimetre. The Jedi didn't look that old. Ailyn had said Skywalker was nineteen, yet the Jedi in front of him didn't look old enough to have trained someone of that age to Knighthood. In fact, now that Cal gave it some thought, the man actually looked a lot younger than all the stories led him to believe.
"I didn't see anything," Master Kenobi said, not aware of the scrutiny he was under. "Whatever you saw. I only skimmed the surface to guide you back to the present. We were unable to reach you without the use of the force."
"I know," Cal mumbled, surprised to find he believed what the Jedi said completely. The man had done the same the other day, hadn't he? And now that he looked back on it, the sensation of joining the force with the Jedi Master had been the same both times. A solid presence near him, but only tentatively reaching out, waiting for Cal to return the gesture. He just hadn't made the connection that what he'd heard in his head had been a mirror of the words spoken outside of it.
"I'm sorry for shouting at you," he added. "I wasn't expecting you to be there when… when I returned. It caught me off guard and I panicked."
"The force does have a way of encompassing our complete surroundings if we allow it the chance."
Cal had never agreed with something more. He'd completely forgotten he'd even been meditating in the first place. The memory had seemed so real, even as it merged with another that had taken place months apart from it. His muscles still tremble from the adrenaline of the duel. "Can that happen often?"
"Sometimes. It really depends on the situation. But a lot of the time, if a Jedi has a vision or if they're caught off guard, the force can surround their senses completely."
Visions. He knew very little about them, past the basics he'd been told as an initiate. Then there had been no reason for his Master to ever expand on the knowledge.
"They usually pass as dreams, when our shields lower naturally in sleep," Master Kenobi explained, sensing Cal's confusion. "Or perhaps when we meditate. But they're not overly common now, even amongst the Jedi."
He wondered if Master Kenobi had ever had a vision before, or perhaps he knew someone who had. Surely as a Council member, he must know someone. They oversaw the entire Order. It stood to reason, if anyone had a vision, they would go to the council about it. To look for guidance and advice. He figured that's what he would do.
"Have you had a vision before?" Cal tried to sound casual. He was curious about the man across from him, but he didn't want to come across as prying.
Master Kenobi shrugged his shoulders. "Once or twice as a Padawan. My Master spent many an hour lecturing me on the importance of the living force."
"I don't think I've ever had a vision. Just then, I was uhm… they were memories… From Bracca. But I don't…" Cal bit his lip to stop the words leaving his mouth. "I don't think I really want to talk about it."
"That's alright, no one's here to force you to. But if the time comes where you are, I'm sure there are many people who are happy to listen. I know it can feel like you're alone. But the Jedi Order is a family in its own way. There will always be someone ready to talk or lend a hand when we need it."
Images of his friends floated into view, Sarr stopping him from getting lost in his thoughts, Ailynn always concerned for those around her and Dala reaching out to hold that concern back before she could take it too far.
Commander Coal checking in with him throughout the journey back to Coruscant, hunched over Cal's too small desk for a man of his size, getting on with work from leading the 13th and definitely breaking his spine in the process to make sure Cal wasn't alone for too long.
He glanced at Master Kenobi who had drifted into silence and seemed quite happy to remain that way until Cal felt comfortable enough to break it. Twice now, the man had chosen to spend his time with Cal, instead of whatever else he had to do on a no doubt busy schedule. There were bags under the General's eyes and time had definitely passed since they'd both been out here, yet the man had settled himself on the floor, looking for all the world like he didn't plan on leaving anytime soon.
Master Kenobi was right. No matter how he sometimes felt, Cal knew he couldn't truly be alone, when he had people willing to help around him. In time he would open up to them. First he just needed to figure out exactly what he wanted to say.
Neither of them spoke after that, both quite happy to just be in the presence of the other without forcing a conversation. It wasn't until a shiver rocked Cal's body that he decided he should probably head to bed. If he wanted to start that project with his friends tomorrow like he'd said he would, and do so without falling asleep on them, then he needed to get at least a small measure of rest tonight.
Darkness had truly fallen now, as had the temperature. The wind had stopped, but it no longer seemed to matter for the chill had already set into his bone. "It's getting cold," he said and rose to his feet. He rubbed his hands together and blew gently on them to warm them up as Master Kenobi stood as well. Together they headed towards the entrance to the temple, stopping just short of the doors.
"Thank you, for helping me," Cal said, the man's last words still repeating themselves in his head. He still didn't know precisely what he wanted to say to anyone, and he knew he didn't want to talk about his Master just yet. But he figured he had to start somewhere so drew in a shaky breath. "And for not pressuring me to talk. I uh… spoke to my friends after you helped me the other day. We'd argued, but we made up. I was angry with them. But what you said made me realise they were just trying to help."
"Well, I'm glad I could help you," the man responded, smiling in a way that told Cal it was genuine. He didn't know what to say in response though. He hadn't thought past the hurried words as he said them, but the yawn that passed his lips spoke for him. "Get some sleep, Cal. I think I've kept you long enough."
Cal took the escape handed to him even though it felt like he should say something more. "Goodnight, Master Kenobi," he said and quickly moved towards the doors, the two temple guards opening the doors for him as he reached them. In his hurry, he didn't even give the Jedi Master a chance to respond.
When he made it to his room, the exhaustion from the day hit him like a speeder. Making up with his friends, the intensity with which they'd focused on their school work, the mental drain from his accidental dive into the force. All of it caught up to him at once, and as he slipped into the shared dorm, crept across the darkened room, felt blindly around for his bed, he didn't even have a chance to get under the covers before he found himself drifting into sleep, all but dead to the world as he slept deeply for the first time in weeks.
-o-0-o-
Obi-wan remained where he had been standing as Cal disappeared through the temple doors, his thoughts on the boy and the difficult hand the child had been dealt, and he found he was more uncertain on the situation than ever.
He'd heard the gratitude clear as day in the boy's words, yet the shock and fear escaping the boy after he'd left the meditation trance lingered in Obi-wan's mind just as clearly. Around him, the force still sang in agreement that offering aid was the right thing to do, and if he were being honest with himself, he believed it too.
Yet that moment where Cal had flinched back from him remained a nagging thought in the back of his mind. He wanted to help and for the most part, he believed he was succeeding. But if there was a chance his presence had made Cal feel worse… He didn't want Cal opening up to him because he thought he had to.
"Master Kenobi?" The guards still held the doors open, but he had no clue which one of them had addressed him. The gold and silver masks, standard uniform for guards of the temple, hid their faces from view. He realised they were waiting for him to enter the temple too, or head back into the city. Either option, the two guards would remain holding the door open until he made his choice.
"My apologies," he replied. Trusting his gut, he addressed it to the one standing to his left. He continued in after Cal, honestly unsure how long he'd been lingering outside for. No more than a few minutes, surely?
Whether the guard on his left had spoken or not, neither made it any clearer. They both just bowed their heads to him as he passed, the sign of respect one he reciprocated with a muttered, "thank you." Once inside, the doors shut behind him with no further sound from either guard. Well, if he'd guessed wrong, at least he would never know if he spoke to them again. The masks hid their identities from him completely, and he wasn't about to read their force signatures to find out.
There were no other Jedi in the entrance hall and he wondered just how much time had passed since Anakin's poorly excused departure. Did Ahsoka know how often Anakin used her as an excuse? Probably. If anything, the padawan used her Master as an excuse as much as Anakin vice versa. His only hope would be that Ahsoka might grow to sound a little more believable when she did so.
And lunch tomorrow? Cal certainly hadn't noticed the lie, but Obi-wan knew no such plans had existed until Anakin had mentioned them. And his former Padawan had been clever about it, asking him in such a way that left Obi-wan no room to back out without confronting him in front of Cal. Clearly Anakin had picked up something from Obi-wan's lessons on negotiating after all. Although those lessons being used against himself had never been a part of his plans.
Obi-wan groaned. Anakin attempting subtlety never boded well for anyone and Obi-wan brought his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache his former Padawan would likely cause him.
He needed some sleep if he wanted to be anywhere near prepared to deal with that problem tomorrow, he realised. So with dread settling in his stomach but his worries about Cal momentarily forgotten, Obi-wan headed to his rooms, mentally preparing himself for the problems tomorrow could bring.
So at this point, the plan for this story is somewhat out of the window. At least in terms of chapters. I ended up splitting this chapter in half and adding a little Obi-wan POV to the end, because without it this chapter would be well over 10,000 words which would be ridiculous. Which is fine, but technically we still haven't reached the point where the previous chapter had meant to end. The entire memory/force scene with Cal hadn't been a part of the original plan. It was supposed to just be a small part where Cal goes to meditate and then it cuts to Obi-wan and Anakin returning from their meal at Dex's. That conversation would have been from Obi-wan's perspective, among some other things that are now maybe going to appear in the next chapter but also maybe not, because another scene ended up slipping in which is why I cut this one in half again.
Anyway, this way I think things turned out better this way, and I got to write more Jaro Tapal stuff which is always good. But who knows how many chapters this story will have. The plan has now changed to 11 chapters so who knows…
