"…and that's when I decided to report to you immediately," Kakashi finished.
"I see," Sarutobi said thoughtfully before taking a drag off his pipe.
"Do you really think it's…" Kakashi's voice trailed off.
"Alexander stated that with the artifact, Naruto could raise an entire graveyard though at a great price. Logically, simply speaking to his departed parents should cost very little," the old man reasoned.
"Looks like I'm going to be training him to use the Rasengan then," Kakashi said with a smile that made the corner of his one visible eye crinkle.
"Good luck with that," Sarutobi said, amused as he recalled all the reports about the chaos Naruto caused in school.
Kakashi smirked behind his mask. "You just have to know how to motivate him."
Their meeting was interrupted by the appearance of a bear masked ANBU who appeared in a swirl of leaves, kneeling in front of the Hokage's desk.
"Report," Sarutobi ordered.
"We have an incident involving The Uzumaki in the Uchiha graveyard," Bear replied. "An unconscious woman matching the appearance of Uchiha Mikoto appeared unconscious on top of her grave in a flash of light as The Uzumaki passed out. Both appear to be fine though have yet to regain consciousness. We have moved them to the closest house in the Uchiha district. There appears to have been no witnesses to the incident save myself and my squad."
Sarutobi and Kakashi leapt to their feet.
"Kakashi, you check the site for chakra traces and anything else you can think of and have Cat retrieve Inoichi. I'll check on Naruto and make sure he's alright. Bear…"
"Yes, sir!" Bear practically vibrated in place, eager to obey.
"Clean up all these leaves," the Hokage ordered before vanishing in a swirl of chakra that noticeably did not scatter leaves all over the Hokage's office.
"Newbies," Kakashi said with a chuckle before walking out the door.
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"Think we've annoyed them enough?" Joan asked with a smirk, as she started gathering nature chakra, causing her curves to swell and catch the eye as her muscles grew.
"We really should put them out of their misery," Jiraiya agreed, matching her growth with his own, his form taking on a slightly amphibious cast.
"Holy shades of Innsmouth, Batman!" Xander exclaimed with a grin, summoning a set of green crystal plate armor and European great sword.
Anko and Tiamo exchanged evil grins as they checked their weapons.
Xander tilted his head as he examined Joan closely. "I just thought of something."
"Is it a sex act?" Joan asked with a leer.
"No, but you may be able to pull it off if you pay close attention," Xander said, suddenly becoming the focus of all the nin's attention as he gathered two white mana and one green. "Wall of brambles!"
Sudden screams and curses came from outside as the nin rushed out to take advantage of the confusion.
Xander followed and found the battle was nearly half over by the time he got out the door, half a dozen nameless mooks in white masks, peppered with throwing weapons and partially restrained by wires were bleeding out while another eight were being torn through by a pair of sages and two very enthusiastic young women with blade fetishes.
Another dozen nin were fast converging on the fighters using fire jutsu to cut through the brambles that lashed out at everyone Xander didn't like.
"That was useful," Jiraiya noted with a grin as he readied himself to face the nin rushing through the flaming vines.
Xander gathered a single green mana and waited for a second. "Regenerate," he called out as the flames were overwhelmed by new growth and the sea of thorny vines entangled and gouged at the invading nin.
Restrained or slowed, the faceless mooks met a quick end.
Joan chuckled. "I'm pretty sure I could cause local plant life to regenerate, but the power needed to create the brambles is a bit above my pay grade."
"Maybe if we combined our chakra," Jiraiya said thoughtfully while Tiamo and Anko looted the bodies.
Joan made a few signs and the bodies sank into the soil.
The group restocked their edged weapons and placed all the equipment they didn't need inside the keep.
"Sex and violence," Anko said cheerfully, "what a great way to start the day."
"Some of them were actually carrying maps," Jiraiya said with a chuckle. "Amateurs."
"And such simple ciphers too," Joan said, shaking her head.
"Yeah, simple," Anko said, rolling her eyes at the incomprehensible confusion of symbols.
The vines parted to allow them to pass, closing behind them.
"Do we need you with us to get in?" Jiraiya asked.
"No," Xander said, "it'll remember you guys and let you through along with anyone you'd care to bring, unless they are hostile of course, then they'll shred them."
"Now that's my idea of a safehouse," Anko said.
"So, what's the next step?" Xander asked.
"We've got two secret bases and over a dozen supply caches," Jiraiya said. "What do you think we should do next?"
"I do like the idea of looting…" Xander said slowly. "But I'm going to have to say we should stay on target and just have our allies loot for us."
"Allies?" Anko asked.
Xander called up and used four white mana, creating a broad shouldered red headed man with a bushy beard. "Donald, tracking expert."
"Lord Xander," the man said, giving a short bow.
Xander called up another four mana and created a slender blonde. "Minnie, a poison expert."
"Lord Xander," she said with a bow, waiting for orders.
Xander called up three chakra and created a top heavy girl with blue hair. "Daisy, high chunin but an expert in traps and is a chakra sensor."
"Lord Xander," she said solemnly, inclining her head slightly.
"Having them rob all the supply caches would make a pretty good distraction," Jiraiya said. "Where did you get Daisy's pattern from?"
"That one nin I was using as a club the battle before last," Xander replied. He turned to the three. "Consider yourselves loyal Leaf nin and Jiraiya your commander," Xander ordered the three and gestured towards the Toad Sage.
"Yes, Lord Xander," they chorused before turning to Jiraiya for orders.
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"Mikoto," Sarutobi greeted her.
"Lord Hokage," she said, inclining her head as she couldn't bow with her sleeping son attached to her.
"We are in a most unusual situation here," he noted while a pair of ANBU stood ready.
"I know," she agreed, "just consulting with the murdered members of my clan showed how negligent you were in allowing Danzo a free hand as he first arranged for the death of any clan members that chose to live outside the compound and then of those that associated freely with non-clan members before insuring there were enough 'accidents' to drive us nearly to rebellion and finally arranging for my eldest son, assisted by an unknown Uchiha, to murder us all."
The Hokage paused as he considered her words. "I'll have to have Inoichi verify your claims," he said.
"And what will you do about Danzo and those two 'advisors' of yours?" she demanded.
"Danzo I'm going to have executed regardless," Sarutobi said, much to her surprise, "my old teammates will be questioned, as they have parroted Danzo's ideas quite frequently."
"Just questioned?" she asked in disbelief.
"Between Inoichi and Ibiki, I know I'll get the answers I need," he said flatly, his eyes cold.
"Yes, Lord Hokage," she said respectfully, suddenly remembering exactly who she was speaking with.
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The Mayor sighed as yet another ritual failed to tap into even a fraction of the Hellmouth's power. He waved for a couple of vampires to take away the gutted corpses of several coffee shop employees as he used a wet wipe to clean the blood from his hands. "A century of hard work and countless sacrifices, all for naught."
"Sir?" Deputy Mayor Allen Finch asked nervously.
"Relax Allen," he said kindly, "there was nothing you could have done to either cause or prevent this. It looks like I'm going to have to relocate and my choices are either Cleveland or… France."
"You're joking," Allen said in clear disbelief.
"I really wish I were," the Mayor said, "but this Hellmouth has been drained of all its stored energy and claimed by a greater power."
"What will happen to Sunnydale, sir?" Allan asked, still in shock.
"That will be up to its new mayor," he said, amused at Allen's response. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pack."
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"How accurate are these?" Buffy asked Giles as she held up a handful of cards.
"Fairly accurate," Giles replied, "at least as far as we can tell and no Planeswalker has spoken on the matter, but the abilities demonstrated have matched up in most of the major details."
"How did it become a game?" Willow asked.
"That I can answer," Wesley spoke up. "In all dimensions that have been known to generate Planeswalkers, a similar game has been found. Common wisdom is that the higher powers have inspired its creation to give some guidance to how Planeswalkers develop and behave."
"And X is now some uber god type?" Faith asked as she looked through her own cards.
"It's not something that would have been evident," Wesley said, "otherwise the gods would kill them long before they had a chance of igniting."
"Still hard to picture him as a god like Thor or something," Faith said, opening another booster pack.
"Are you sure triggering on the Hellmouth would push him towards these spells?" Willow said as she laid out all the black cards she'd gotten in her packs. "He's not exactly fond of the undead."
"He's more Evil Dead than Interview with a Vampire," Oz offered. "Bruce Campbell," he added at the Watchers' confused expressions.
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"Come get some!" Xander called out from the back of a giant bear with Holy Strength and Giant Growth cast on it.
Giant snakes were everywhere as were giant toads and lots of crushed nin.
"You don't want to fight us," Danzo said, uncovering a Sharingan.
Xander blinked. "What a lovely ability, and at only a single blue mana too, thanks." A rain of senbons ricocheted off his armor, making a pleasant chiming sound.
"It didn't work?" Danzo asked in surprise, using chakra to stick to the giant serpent as the bear raked his claws down its side.
"It worked fine," Xander assured cheerfully before doing a girly little spin and calling out, "Shabon Spray Freezing!"
"Looks like it didn't work to me," Orochimaru complained as he bent around one of Jiraiya's kicks only to get tit smacked by Joan's armored breasts, sending half his teeth flying. "Tsunade?!"
"I don't want to fight you, I want to kill you," Xander explained, drawing an invisible bow and releasing an arrow of fire that incinerated Danzo's chest.
Danzo somehow got up a second later, chest intact once more, only to have a glowing white blade take off his head.
"I can barely sense you in this," Orochimaru complained as he drew a sword out of his mouth.
Joan stomped on the ground, a wave of green chakra causing the plants to grow rapidly and entangle their foes' feet.
Getting desperate, fire and wind jutsu were thrown about with abandon, decimating their own ranks as Anko used a jutsu to cast her mad cackle amongst the enemy.
"Manda!" the boss toad summons chuckled with evil glee as he appeared in a burst of chakra, crushing an entire squad of nin.
Wounded, blind, and desperate to escape, Manda unsummoned himself, dropping Danzo to the ground in an uncontrolled fall and snapping his neck.
"I was saving this for Sensei," Orochimaru complained, "but you leave me no choice."
"You're a bit of a whiner aren't you?" Xander asked as the giant bear died from the poison it had been injected with and he had to leap off, landing in the center of an entire squad of nin.
Orochimaru took a deep breath and created a massive wall of flames, giving him enough time to pull out a scroll and unseal the contents, three wooden coffins.
Joan and Jiraiya sent a pair of water dragons at the wall of flame as Orochimaru called out, "Impure World Resurrection!"
The three coffins creaked open, revealing three familiar looking faces to the Leaf nin.
"The First, Second, and Fourth," Anko said. "This is going to suck."
"Interesting," Xander said, using a nin as a flail while he observed what Orochimaru was doing closely. He paid for that distraction as a dragon of flame sent him flying and cooked his 'weapon'. Tiamo saved him from a nasty tumble, catching him in midair.
The tides of the battle began to turn as the three new fighters were not only fast and powerful, but skilled as well and regenerated even lethal wounds in seconds.
Forced together with Joan concentrating on countering the First's control over plant life, Jiraiya turned to Xander. "Got any more aces up your sleeve?"
Xander grinned evilly. "Which is the most powerful of the three?"
"The Fourth Hokage, the blond," the Toad Sage said.
"Everybody watch this, cause I can only do it once," Xander said with a grin.
"Bah, let him try," Orochimaru said smugly, secure in his victory and motioning his forces to hold back.
Xander called up a single black Mana. "Raise dead!"
The Fourth Hokage took a deep breath and his formerly stoic expression changed to one of anger.
"Alright, I may have made a tactical error," the Snake Sennin admitted as Danzo fell with a three pronged kunai lodged in his throat.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
TN: Well. That escalated quickly. XD
