Author's Note: This chapter includes brief graphic violence and references to sexual assault. No main characters are involved in the latter.


Doubts

Lily followed James across the Hogwarts grounds, stopping at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The trees along the perimeter grew in thick clusters, shielding them from view as they settled themselves on the grass.

"Two more weeks," he said. "Can you believe it?"

"I've been trying not to think about it too much."

"Oh, come on. You don't want to stay in school, do you?"

"It isn't that. I just…"

She trailed off, not knowing how to explain herself. How could James understand what it felt like to be without a home? That was the reality she'd lived with since Petunia had sold off their parents' house, sending her only a tiny fraction of the profits.

We went far below market price to ensure a quick sale, and of course, we had burial expenses to cover. You understand.

Had Petunia been telling the truth? Lily couldn't bring herself to care either way. All she knew was that she had little money and even fewer options.

"Not sure what you want to do yet?"

She nodded. "Something like that."

"Well, my offer still stands."

"Moving in with you?"

"Why not? It's the perfect solution."

"We've only been together for seven months," she pointed out. "Don't you think it's a little soon?"

"Too soon for what? I didn't know there was a time limit on these things."

"There's not, but we don't have to rush into anything. I could always rent a little flat. I've got enough to cover rent and necessities for a month or two, which would give me time to find a job."

"A job? Lily, I don't want you working."

"You don't want…" She narrowed her eyes into slits. "If this is some chauvinistic…"

"Not at all!" he said hastily. "I'm just worried about your safety. You know what they did to those Muggleborn shopkeepers. They've got spies all over Diagon Alley, and I swear I saw a couple in Hogsmeade the last time we were there."

"I could get a Muggle job."

"Don't you need training for that?"

"For some jobs, yes, but I…" She trailed off, realizing that her Muggle education was terribly insufficient. Who'd want to hire a teenager who'd only completed primary school?

"You'd end up with some terrible job that pays next to nothing," James said. "Anyway, this isn't the time to worry about money."

She snorted. "That's easy for you to say. Some of us don't have the luxury…"

"You will if you move in with me. Safe place to live, all your needs taken care of? Pretty good deal if you ask me."

"I know, but I don't want to be dependent on anyone. I'd like to take care of myself."

"Understandable," he said. "Admirable, even. But we're in the middle of a war, Lily. Why spend your time slaving away at some meaningless job when you're needed for more important things?"

"The Order?"

"Of course."

"James, we haven't even been recruited."

"Not yet, but we will. I know we will." He brought a hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "And when that time comes, I want us to fight together. Don't you want that, too?"

"You know I do."

"Then why don't you move in with me? It's the best solution, at least for now. Everything else can be sorted later."

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, knowing he was right. She couldn't give the war her full attention if she had to worry about searching for employment, finding a place to live, working day and night just to pay for food and shelter. True, she liked the idea of providing for herself, but right now, she had other priorities.

"Okay," she said. "Let's do it."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"Brilliant!" He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "Anyway, if you don't like living with me, you can always move out. It's not like I'm going to tie you up and keep you there."

She tilted her head back, flashing him a mischievous grin. "What if I want you to tie me up?"

"Hmmm, well, maybe if you ask nicely…"

He trailed off, lowering his mouth to hers. As usual, his kisses were gentle, restrained, his lips remaining closed until she urged them to open. He didn't resist as she deepened the kiss, but he kept his hands on her back, her shoulders, never attempting to touch her anywhere else.

When they'd first gotten together, she'd appreciated his restraint. Now it left her feeling frustrated, longing for things she couldn't bring herself to say aloud. She tried to show him instead, moaning softly as she pressed herself against him.

He didn't respond… at least, not in the way she'd hoped he would. He just went on kissing her, burying his fingers in her hair.

"When it comes to boys, you have to be blunt. They're not good at picking up on hints."

She couldn't remember who'd told her that, but it seemed like sound advice. Hesitantly, she lowered her hand to James's lap, rubbing him through the fabric of his robes.

"Lily, we can't."

"Why not?"

He shook his head, putting a little distance between them. "Someone might see."

"You have the Invisibility Cloak, don't you? We can use that to cover ourselves."

"Yeah, I guess we could, but… bloody hell!"

"What's wrong?"

"Sirius," he said as he scrambled to his feet. "Told him to meet me at the Quidditch pitch an hour ago. I'll… um, I'll see you at dinner, all right?"

"Sure."

This wasn't the first time her attempts to get closer to him had failed. If his friends didn't interrupt, he had an assignment to finish. If homework was done, he had to attend an unplanned Quidditch practice. There was always some teacher who needed to see him, some book he'd left in the Transfiguration classroom, some reason why he couldn't be alone with her for more than a few minutes at a time.

She sighed, resisting the urge to cry as she watched him hurry away. What was she doing wrong? Was she being too pushy? Maybe so, but she'd waited months for him to make the first move. He hadn't.

"I can't believe you're dating James Potter. He's so dreamy."

"Yeah, I bet he's a great shag."

"I wouldn't know," she'd told the pair of sixth years. "We haven't…"

"You're holding out on him? Wow."

"Don't know how you do it," the other girl said. "I would've dropped my knickers the first time he kissed me."

Naturally, they'd assumed the reluctance was on her side. Wasn't that the way it usually was with teenage boys? She'd heard the gossip in the common room, eavesdropped on her classmates as they whispered at breakfast. From what she understood, it was the boys who couldn't wait to have sex, while the girls…

"Don't know why I bother wearing these things," Mary McDonald had said as she'd put on her bra that morning. "He's already ripped two of them trying to get them off."

"Well, at least he takes the time to undress you. Mine just hikes up my robe and has his way with me."

"Oh, so that's how your knickers wound up in the Charms classroom."

"Yep. Had to make a run for it when we heard Flitwick coming."

The girls liked it, too. That much was obvious, despite their mock exasperation. They blushed and they giggled, confident in their desirability. And why wouldn't they be? Their boyfriends were insatiable, always looking for any opportunity to shag.

Meanwhile, James stuck to his chaste kisses, never even attempting to put his hands under Lily's robes. Was it any wonder she felt insecure? She wished she could talk to someone about her feelings, but what could she say? "I'm afraid my boyfriend isn't attracted to me?"

No, that was too embarrassing. Besides, it didn't make sense. Why would James be in a relationship with her if he didn't find her attractive? Why would he have asked her to move in with him? Surely he wouldn't have done that if he didn't want to sleep with her. Living together meant…

It meant they'd have privacy. They'd be able to have sex in their own bed, not up against the wall in some dusty corridor. They wouldn't have to worry about getting caught, constantly looking over their shoulders as they hurried to finish. No risk of embarrassment, no need to worry about detentions or loss of House Points.

Could that be it? Was James just waiting until circumstances were more ideal? Maybe he wanted their first time to be romantic, like the flowers he'd given her for Valentine's Day.

The more Lily thought about it, the more this theory made sense. James was interested in much more than a quick shag, after all. What he wanted was a life, a future that the two of them could share. He'd made that clear when he'd practically begged her to move in with him, promising her safety and comfort. He wouldn't have done that, unless…

Unless he loved her.

That was the difference, she realized. True, he'd never said those words aloud, but his actions told her everything she needed to know. Why had she ever doubted him?

No, there was no harm in waiting. In just two more weeks, she'd have him all to herself. There'd be no more excuses, no distractions, no need to constantly compete with his friends for his attention. That would be the right time to take their relationship further. She'd be able to spend as much time with him as she wanted, finally getting to know him in ways that had never been possible at Hogwarts.

"Two more weeks," she whispered, smiling to herself as she wandered back up to the school.


Severus lowered his hood, wand clutched tightly as he moved out of the shadows. Two figures materialized on either side of him, one quite tall while the other was relatively petite. Female? Perhaps, though it really didn't matter unless…

Unless it was Lily.

Lily in Death Eater robes? A few months ago, the idea would've been absurd. She'd despised the Dark Lord and everything he stood for. Of course, she couldn't have known that Voldemort was hardly the tyrant the Wizarding world believed him to be. He was generous, even kind to his followers, never one to strike out indiscriminately. True, a handful of Muggleborns had been killed over the past few months, but only those who posed a direct threat.

"Our raid on Diagon Alley was a success. The Mudblood shopkeepers have been disposed of."

"What did they do, my lord?"

"They poisoned one of our own."

"How?"

"He tried to purchase Dreamless Sleep, not realizing they'd replaced it with something far more noxious. It's a good thing you had us well supplied with antidotes – otherwise, he'd be dead now."

"I'm glad I could be of service, my lord."

"Do you see, Severus? This is why it is so important to keep our bloodlines pure. Too many Mudbloods are horrendously flawed, unworthy of the world we're trying to create. Their magic is weaker, their morality easily corrupted. That is the price of having not just one but two Muggle parents."

"My lord, I agree, though I do wonder…"

"Yes?"

"Could there be any exceptions?"

Voldemort hesitated. "Well, I suppose there are always exceptions. If a Mudblood was suitably talented, fully committed to our cause? I might permit them to join our ranks."

Severus had seized the opportunity he'd been given, telling the Dark Lord all about Lily. He'd emphasized her considerable talent with charms, explaining that her skill with potions was equal to his own. The latter was a slight exaggeration, but Voldemort didn't need to know that. If he just gave her a chance, surely he'd realize how exceptional she was.

"She's also a capable duelist, my lord. There are few who can beat her, even among Purebloods."

"Impressive," Voldemort said. "And she's a friend of yours?"

"She is… someone I value."

"Someone you desire?"

Severus hadn't responded, though of course, there was no need to. Voldemort had already come to his own conclusions, nodding slightly as he'd leaned back in his chair.

"Well, Severus, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to make her an offer. If she's as powerful as you claim, we could certainly use her talents."

Had Lily accepted the offer? He couldn't be sure, though he chose to be optimistic. If she'd just agreed to one meeting with the Dark Lord, she would've seen that she had nothing to fear from him. True, she was impossibly stubborn, but if anyone could inspire a change of heart, it was Voldemort.

Severus came back to the present, realizing that the smaller figure couldn't possibly be Lily. There was no grace to her movements, her wand slicing savagely as she blasted the door apart.

"Oh, goody," she said, seeming to relish the sound of Muggle screams. "Time to play!"

Severus had assumed the deaths would be quick and painless. Instead, the young couple were brought to their knees, twisting and writhing under the effects of the Cruciatus curse. They cried out again and again, pleading for mercy until they no longer had the ability to speak.

"Wait," said the male Death Eater. "Let me have a little fun before you curse them into insanity."

The female Death Eater snorted. "They don't have to be sane for that."

"No, but it's much better when they know what's happening to them. Prorsus nudi!"

Severus hovered in the doorway, doing his best to remain stoic. Oddly enough, he couldn't help remembering how he'd felt when Potter and Black had stripped off his clothes, though that was nothing compared to the brutal violation the Muggles were forced to endure. Hours seemed to pass before the Death Eater finished, humming in satisfaction as he straightened his robes.

"Go on, then. Take your pleasure."

"My pleasure?"

"Boy, girl, whichever takes your fancy."

Severus looked down, unable to imagine anything less arousing than the pitiful creatures who lay shivering on the floor. Both of them were covered in filth, a pungent smell informing him that at least one of them had soiled themselves.

He shook his head. "Muggles aren't to my taste."

"No? Well, you better do something. The Dark Lord won't like it if you don't participate, especially on your first ambush."

"He doesn't have the stomach for it," said the female Death Eater. "You know how these new ones are."

Severus knew then that he had no choice. He took a deep breath, pointing his wand at the Muggles. Several slashing motions and blood sprayed across the room, splashing the walls, the furniture, even his companions. It wasn't a pleasant death, but at least it was a quick one. There was a terrible gurgling sound as he severed the Muggles' throats, swiftly followed by silence.

"What spell was that?"

"Sectumsempra," he said, wiping the blood off his wand before he tucked it back in his sleeve.

"I've never heard of it."

"One of my own inventions."

"Really?" said the smaller Death Eater. "It's quite… visual. You must teach me how to do it."

"Of course."

He followed her out of the house, wondering how he could've ever mistaken her for Lily. Lily would never be found in a place like this, killing Muggles for sport. No one, not even the Dark Lord himself could convince her to do such a thing.

Bidding the others farewell, he returned to Spinner's End, stripping off his robes as he entered the bathroom. He stopped in front of the mirror, jarred by the sight of his own reflection. Staring back at him was a gaunt, grim faced figure, eyes haunted by the things he'd seen and done. His hands still trembled ever so slightly, streaks of dried blood standing out in sharp relief against his pale skin.

The next thing he knew, he was standing in the shower, water so hot it was almost scalding. He scrubbed himself furiously, shaking his head as he did so. Lily… joining the Dark Lord's ranks… how had he been foolish enough to think she'd even consider such a thing? Why hadn't he realized…

Muttering under his breath, he turned off the water. He dried himself off, slipping on a clean pair of shorts before he retrieved his Death Eater robes from the bathroom floor.

"Scourgify."

The blood on the sleeve was from the female Muggle. He'd killed her first, seeing no point in prolonging her suffering. The male had seemed more resigned to his fate, his jaw set, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Killing him had been slightly easier, but the female

Severus would never forget the way she'd stared up at him, her face wet with tears as she'd begged for mercy. He'd watched the hope in her eyes fade, swiftly followed by terror as he'd lifted his wand. In that moment, he'd wanted nothing more than to tell her to look away, wishing he could rip off his cloak and cover her face. But of course, that hadn't been an option. He'd had no choice but to slice her throat, knowing that his own murderous eyes were the last thing she'd ever see.

Murder. There was no other word for what he'd done that night. He couldn't pretend there was any justifiable reason for killing those Muggles – what threat could they have possibly posed to the magical world?

That, he supposed, was the sickening part. Facing a worthy opponent was one thing, but terrorizing defenseless Muggles? Forcing them to endure hours of torture? It had been the worst sort of bullying, a disgusting combination of cruelty and cowardice.

Cowardice… yet the Dark Lord condoned it. Why?

Severus cast another cleansing charm, wondering if joining the Death Eaters had been a mistake. He couldn't be sure, though there was one thing he knew for certain. He'd proven his worth that night. Whatever happened, no one could ever accuse him of having a weak stomach again.


Contrary to Lily's expectations, James wasn't in any hurry to get their own place. They moved in with his parents instead, both of whom welcomed her with open arms.

"Come, let me show you to your room," said Mrs. Potter. "I did my best to make it comfortable, though if you'd like to make any changes…"

"No, this is perfect. Thank you."

"Wonderful. I'll leave you to get settled, then."

She'd never seen such lovely furniture, rich mahogany carved with intricate flowers. There was a huge dresser and a mirrored vanity, matching the table and chairs that had been placed in one corner. The bed was the most impressive part of all, cloaked by a white lace canopy that fluttered in the breeze from the open window.

"Well?" James said, closing the door behind them. "What do you think?"

"I love it. I just… I thought we'd be sharing a room."

"My parents are a little old-fashioned. They believe witches and wizards should be married before they sleep together."

"I understand," she said, doing her best to hide her disappointment. "Maybe we can get a hotel room for a few hours, or…"

"Lily."

"What's wrong?"

Taking her by the hand, James led her over to the table. He sat down on the other side, hesitating for a long moment before he spoke.

"To tell you the truth," he said, "I feel the same way my parents do. I know it sounds daft, but I… I've always wanted to wait until my wedding night. I'd like the first person I ever sleep with to be my wife."

"James…"

"Oh, I know it's unrealistic. Stupid, really. If you'd rather not wait, I suppose we can…"

"I don't mind waiting."

"You don't?"

"Not at all," she said. "I mean, now that I know the real reason… I was beginning to think you weren't attracted to me."

He laughed, giving his head a little shake. "Trust me, that isn't the problem. You have no idea…"

"Oi, what's going on?"

She glanced over her shoulder, suppressing a sigh as she spotted Sirius. He still shared a room with James, which of course, was the other issue with their living arrangements. Not that she didn't like Sirius, but…

"Hey Padfoot! We going out or what?"

"I'm up for it if you are. How about you, Lils?"

She shook her head. "I've got too much unpacking to do."

"All right then. Have fun!"

They took off for the pub, leaving her to settle into a strange house with people she barely knew. It wasn't so bad, really – she joined the Potters for dinner, followed by a pleasant chat about her years at Hogwarts. Still, she couldn't help feeling lonely as she headed up to bed, wondering if she'd made a mistake.

No. James loved her. He'd treated her kindly, giving her a home rather than leaving her to fend for herself. True, he wasn't around to share that home at the moment, but surely it wouldn't be like this every night. Really, what was wrong with him spending a little time with friends? It wasn't like she couldn't do the same thing.

With that thought, she sat down at the little table, reaching for quill and parchment.

Dear…

She frowned, unable to think of a single person she could contact. Over the past couple years, her own friendships had faded, replaced by James and his friends. How had she let that happen? Why hadn't she…

"Lily?"

Startled, she turned around to find James standing in the doorway. His black hair was even messier than usual, his eyes slightly unfocused.

"Are you drunk?"

"Nah. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

He nodded, closing the door behind him before he settled himself at the table. Fumbling in his pocket, he withdrew a roll of parchment, running a finger across the unbroken seal.

"What's that?"

"Someone left it on my table at the pub. It's addressed to both of us."

"Well? What does it say?"

He shrugged. "Doubt it's anything important. We might as well just toss it out."

"Oh, don't you dare!" She snatched the letter out of his hand, ignoring his smirk as she broke the seal.

"Dear Miss Evans and Mr. Potter," she read aloud, "I understand that both of you have shown considerable promise, one descended from a noble bloodline while the other possesses enough talent to compensate for her lower birth…"

"My lower birth?" She shook her head, forcing herself to continue.

"In light of this, I believe that each of you could be beneficial to our cause. We have much to offer, including…"

"Honestly," James interrupted, "I don't give a toss what he has to offer. Hand me that quill – I'll write back and tell him to sod off."

"No, don't."

"Why not? Don't tell me you're actually considering…"

"Of course not, but there's useful information here. He's given us an address, says we should meet him there on Saturday night. Shouldn't we pass that along to the Order? Maybe we can help them set up an ambush or something."

Clearly, James was drunker than she'd thought. It took him a few minutes to catch on, though once he did, his face broke into a grin.

"Brilliant. I'll write to Dumbledore…"

"Tomorrow morning," she said firmly, plucking the quill out of his hand.

"Tomorrow," he agreed.


"Excellent," Dumbledore said as he inspected the letter. "Write back and tell him that you accept his offer. Just be sure not to sound too enthusiastic. A fair amount of skepticism will be much more believable."

"What will happen when we get there?"

"The Order will be watching from a distance, ready to move in as soon as you give us the signal. Here, take these."

He placed a Galleon in each of their hands, seeming to enjoy their confusion as they inspected the coins. Lily gasped as hers suddenly grew warm, her eyes widening as she stared down at the single line of script.

Would you like to join the Order?

"How do I respond? With the coin, I mean."

"Just project your thoughts," Dumbledore said. "It's very simple."

"Okay." She clutched the coin tightly, focusing on the message she wanted to send.

I'd love to.

"Very good. And you, Mr. Potter?"

James nodded, using his own coin to communicate a similar message.

"Welcome to the Order," Dumbledore said, smiling at them both. "I wish there was more time to celebrate, but I must inform the others of our plans. I'll look forward to seeing you again on Saturday night."


"Nervous?"

Lily shrugged. "We'll have the entire Order behind us, right?"

"Right, though I do want to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"I…" James hesitated, fidgeting awkwardly. "I love you, Lily. I just… wanted you to know that. You know, in case anything goes wrong."

"You love me?"

She gazed up at him, touched. Those three words did wonders to soothe her insecurities, helped by all the extra attention he'd been giving her lately. What had changed? She couldn't say, though she was glad he'd stopped taking her for granted.

"Yeah, I do. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay. I love you, too."

He pulled her into his arms, lowering his mouth to hers. Even his kisses had gotten better, as passionate as they'd been at the beginning of their relationship. She couldn't believe how affectionate he'd been over the past few days, eager to hold her or sneak off for a good snogging session. If it never went any further? Well, she didn't mind. She loved the idea of waiting until marriage, even if her body didn't agree.

"Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

He nodded, wrapping his arms around her waist. The next thing she knew, they were standing in the middle of a deserted road, thickets of trees interspersed with sprawling farmland.

"Wow," he said. "This really is the middle of nowhere, isn't it?"

They didn't have any trouble finding the house. It was the only one nearby, a derelict thing with a roof that had partially collapsed. Lily stared at it in bewilderment, wondering how it could possibly contain Lord Voldemort and a horde of Death Eaters. It looked so small, though to be fair, appearances could be deceiving. If the magical world had taught her anything, it was definitely that.

"So what do we do?" she said. "Just go up there and knock, or…"

"Shh. Someone's coming."

A hooded figure separated itself from the shadows, gliding across the unkempt lawn. It came to a stop just a few feet away, speaking to them in a harsh whisper.

"Come."

"Where are we going?" said James.

"The Dark Lord wishes to see you."

"Here?" Lily questioned. "Or will you be taking us someplace else?"

"What does it matter? Come."

She hesitated, glancing up at James. Dumbledore had cautioned them against relocating, reminding them that there'd be no way for the Order to follow.

"Come on, Lily."

She followed the others inside, feeling even more uneasy as she inspected her surroundings. The house had clearly been abandoned for decades, ancient furniture covered by a thick layer of dust. Piles of fallen leaves were scattered across the floor, the doorways crisscrossed by cobwebs.

"He's not here," she said.

"No," the Death Eater agreed, offering her a heavily cloaked arm. "But I'll take you to him."

James chose that moment to send the signal. Lily felt the coin in her pocket grow warm, gasping as more than a dozen Order members burst into the house. Disarming the Death Eater, they put him in restraints, ripping off his mask to reveal a plain faced, ordinary looking wizard.

"Where is your master?"

"I'll never tell."

"No?" said Dumbledore. "Well, maybe a bit of Veritaserum will loosen your lips."

They exited the house with their captive, realizing they couldn't Disapparate from inside. Lily had just begun to turn on her heel when she heard a shout, her eyes widening as she spotted several hooded figures standing at the broken windows. She whipped out her wand, barely dodging a Stunner that flew past her head.

Where had they come from? She supposed it didn't matter. The Order was clearly at a disadvantage, their opponents shielded behind solid walls.

"Go," Dumbledore shouted, casting a massive Shield Charm. "Go!"

Lily did as she was told, firing off a round of spells before she ducked behind a tree. Hastily, she Disapparated, reappearing at Order headquarters.

"Where is he?" James said as he landed beside her. "The one we captured."

"Dead," Alice Longbottom said grimly. "You didn't see them strike him down?"

"You mean they…"

"Killed him on purpose? Of course. They couldn't take the risk of him revealing their secrets."

Lily shook her head. "That's awful."

"Indeed, it is," Dumbledore said. "Lord Voldemort might promise them protection, but he won't hesitate to dispose of them if it seems more convenient."

Despite everything, Lily couldn't help thinking about Severus. Was that the life he'd chosen, just a tool to be used and discarded at a madman's whim? She knew she shouldn't care, though deep down, she still hoped he'd chosen a different path.

Of course, that hope was probably futile. If the rumors were true, he'd received the Dark Mark before he'd left school. He might've even been part of the ambush that night, hooded and cloaked like the other Death Eaters. If so, had he seen her? She hadn't worn any disguise, her red hair unmistakable beneath the moonlight. Had he attempted to curse her? Or had she been the one who'd unknowingly struck out against him? What if…

"All right, Lily?"

"I'm fine."

James nodded. "Let's go home and get some rest."


The rest of the summer flew by, followed by an autumn that seemed to disappear as soon as it arrived. Before Lily knew it, winter had settled in, cloaking the Potters' townhouse in freshly fallen snow. All the while, she and James worked for the Order, their lives filled with a newfound sense of purpose.

Perhaps it was strange, but she'd never been happier. She was finally doing something important, taking control of her life in a way she never had before. Granted, she often put that life at risk, but wasn't that better than sitting on the sidelines? She'd much rather…

"Ready?"

She set down her hairbrush, smiling up at James. He also seemed happier these days, spending most of his nights at home rather than running off to the pub. Working for the Order had matured him in ways she'd never expected, revealing a side of him that was truly thoughtful and considerate. He never hesitated to tell her that he loved her, always surprising her with compliments and little gifts.

"Where are we going?"

He shook his head. "It's a surprise, remember?"

"I know, but…" She sighed, gesturing at her outfit. "Can you at least tell me if I'm dressed appropriately?"

"Hmmm, you might want to bring a coat. Wouldn't hurt to put on an extra sweater as well."

"Where are you taking me? Siberia?"

"Maybe."

Shaking her head, she put on the heaviest coat she owned. James wrapped a scarf around her neck, nodding in satisfaction as he led her down the stairs.

"Don't the two of you look nice!"

"Thank you," Lily said, smiling at Mrs. Potter. "Don't worry, we won't stay out too late."

"Oh, take all the time you need! I'm just so happy that…"

"Right," James said, clearing his throat rather pointedly. "We best get going."

As soon as they reached the front step, he wrapped her in his arms, Apparating them both to what she assumed was their destination.

"A cow pasture? Why on earth would you bring me to…"

"Don't worry," he said. "This is just the halfway point."

He drew her in a little closer, spinning in a slow circle. When she opened her eyes, the setting was much more familiar, making her smile as she spotted a row of twinkling lights in the distance.

"Hogsmeade!"

"Well, sort of. You'll see."

He led her across the field, her breath catching in her throat as she realized where he was taking her. She recognized the tree where they'd sat a little over a year ago, that lovely autumn day when he'd kissed her for the first time. Even in winter, it was a place she'd never forget, her stomach filling with butterflies as he sat down beside her.

"I was going to take you to some fancy restaurant," he said. "Or maybe even do this at home. But… well, I guess it made more sense to bring you here."

"Do what?" She stared at him, confused.

"This."

Kneeling at her feet, he withdrew a tiny box from the inside of his coat. He flipped it open, revealing an impressively large diamond.

"Lily Evans…" he said softly. "Will you marry me?"

Oddly enough, she couldn't help noticing that his face was cloaked in shadow. Even his eyes were obscured, his glasses fogged up from the frigid night air. For a fleeting moment, she felt like she was looking at a stranger, an unpleasant shiver skittering up her spine.

But of course, that had nothing to do with fear. It was the cold that made her tremble, the eerie landscape giving her an odd sense of foreboding. It couldn't be James, a boy she knew as well as she knew herself.

A boy who loved her.

Was she ready to get married? She supposed it didn't matter. They were in the middle of a war, after all, which meant there were no guarantees. Why insist on waiting a few more years when even tomorrow might be too late?

"Lily?"

She reached out to touch his face, wondering how she could've ever thought of it as mysterious. The contours were intimately familiar, her thumb tracing the curve of his cheek as she brought her lips to his ear.

"Yes."