"Yeah, it's me," Hermione said. "What happened?"
"I… I don't know." Harry sat up, shocked to find himself at Grimmauld Place. "One minute we were dueling, and the next… it felt like someone jerked me away."
"Who?" Ron said.
"I don't know. I thought Tonks or Moody might've done it."
"No, they were here with us," Hermione said. "Tonks wanted to go back for you, but Moody stopped her. He said we needed to call for reinforcements."
"Reinforcements? Did anyone come?"
"See for yourself," Ron said as he parted the curtains.
Pushing himself to his feet, Harry joined Ron at the window. More than a dozen Order members had gathered on the street below, standing in formation like a miniature army.
"Where's Voldemort? The other Death Eaters?"
"Gone," Hermione said. "They must've realized they were outnumbered."
"Do they know where we are? Is the house still hidden, or…"
"Moody says the charm is still intact," Ron said. "They know there's a hiding place nearby, but they won't be able to find it unless…"
"Unless what?"
"Unless Snape tells them."
Snape. Harry had nearly forgotten about him, too distracted by his confrontation with Voldemort and the bewildering aftermath. Whoever had jerked him away…
No, he hadn't just been jerked away. He felt like he'd gone through a Portkey, one that had deposited him at Grimmauld Place. But how was that possible? Tonks and Moody had been busy with Ron and Hermione, and the other Order members hadn't arrived yet. Just him, Voldemort, and the Death Eaters…
"We should leave," Ron said.
"Are you daft?" Hermione stared at him, eyes wide.
"Snape knows about this place. Didn't I just say that? We've got to get out of here while we still have the chance."
"Snape was with Voldemort."
"What?" Ron and Hermione said in unison.
"When we were at the other house… I think that's why he left so fast. He must've been summoned."
"Right, so Snape was trying to kill us, too. All the more reason why we should…"
Harry shook his head. "That's not what I mean."
"No? What is it, then?"
"Someone saved me. It wasn't either of you, and it couldn't have been Tonks or Moody. Snape was the only one who could've…"
The front door burst open, followed by a swirl of black robes as Snape slammed it behind him. He stood there white faced and shaking, teeth bared like some vicious predator.
In that moment, Harry knew his theory was correct. He'd seen a flash of those teeth when he'd been jerked backward, thrust through the Portkey so quickly he hadn't had a chance to figure out who they belonged to.
"How dare you defy me? You three are the most foolish, reckless, idiotic…"
"Stupefy!"
Snape dodged the spell, glaring daggers at Ron. "Wand down, Mr. Weasley!"
"Expelliarmus!"
"Did you not hear me? I said, 'put your wand down!'"
This time, Snape didn't wait for a reaction. Disarming Ron with a flick of his wrist, he turned his attention to Hermione as she crept toward the door.
"Go ahead," he said, his lip curling into a sneer. "Try it."
Hermione tugged on the handle, her eyes widening as it refused to budge. Taking out her wand, she cast a couple spells, her breath coming in short, panicked bursts.
"Expecto…"
"Oh no," Snape said. "No, we'll have none of that."
Another flick and he had both their wands, still fuming as he shoved them in his pocket.
"Oi, give those back!"
"Professor Snape, you can't just…"
"I can do what I want," he said. "Now sit down."
Ron and Hermione hovered beside the door, their expressions caught between outrage and fear as they stared at Snape.
"Don't make me repeat myself," he said, his voice dangerously quiet.
Hermione did as she was told, shooting Harry a frightened look as she joined him on the couch. After a moment, Ron plopped down beside her, muttering under his breath.
"So you are capable of following instructions. Why did you fail to do so earlier?"
"We…"
"I told you not to leave that house under any circumstances. I told you…"
Ron snorted. "Just sit there and wait for you to fetch You-Know-Who. Right."
If Snape had been angry before, he was furious now. He loomed over Ron, face twisting into a grimace.
"If you think, even for a second, that I would do that to my own son…"
"Are you mad?! He's not your son!
"Stupid boy. You have no idea…"
"I look like James."
"What?"
"James," Harry repeated. "My father. I look just like him."
Sighing heavily, Snape sat down in a nearby armchair. "There's an explanation for that."
"His dad shagged his mom and they had a kid," Ron said. "That's all the explanation he needs."
"Mr. Weasley…" Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously struggling for composure. "This discussion does not require your input."
"I don't know what you're up to, but I'm not gonna sit here and let you lie to him."
"Ron!" Hermione whispered.
"What?"
"Be quiet!"
"Thank you, Miss Granger. As I was saying…"
"That's why you hate me, isn't it? Because I look like him?"
Snape shook his head. "I don't hate you."
"Bollocks," Ron said. "What about all those times you punished him when he didn't deserve it, the nasty things you said? Did that to all of us, but it was worse with Harry. You…"
"Mr. Weasley, this is your last warning."
"No," Harry said. "He's right. You said I was just like my father, lazy, arrogant…"
"I didn't know."
For the first time, Snape didn't sound angry. His voice was strange, almost vulnerable, his expression subdued.
"I didn't know," he repeated. "If I had…"
"Expecto Patronum!"
It was Harry's last, desperate attempt to prove him wrong, the stag bursting from the tip of his wand before it raced around the room. To him, it was irrefutable proof, though Snape didn't seem perturbed. He looked thoughtful instead, returning his attention to Harry as the Patronus faded away.
"I saved you," he said. "When you were facing the Dark Lord…"
"I know."
Snape nodded. "Then you must also realize that I took a great risk in doing so."
"Yes."
"Just like the risk I took when I appeared at your aunt's house."
"Yeah."
"I've had countless opportunities to harm you, even deliver you to the Dark Lord had I chosen to do so. Would you agree with that, too?"
"I guess."
"Do you believe I murdered Dumbledore?"
Harry hesitated, glancing at Ron and Hermione. Of course, he knew what Ron believed, all those arguments that had convinced him to run away from the safe house. But deep down, did he really believe them? Or did he trust his own eyes, his own instincts, the memory of what he'd witnessed that night burned into his brain like a permanent scar?
"No," he said. "I don't."
"Good." Snape said, his expression relieved. "As for the rest… I cannot blame you for your skepticism. I should've known that my explanations wouldn't be sufficient. What you need is proof."
"Proof?"
"Proof I happen to have. If you'll accompany me upstairs…"
"He's not going anywhere with you!"
"Ron…"
It wasn't Ron's fault. He was very much on the outside, hadn't seen any of the things Harry had since last summer. He hadn't witnessed the changes in Snape's behavior, all those private lessons and civil conversations, the moments of decency. He hadn't been there on the Astronomy Tower, nor at 4 Privet Dr. when Snape put his own life on the line to escort Harry to safety.
He also hadn't been at the safe house earlier that day, baffled by Snape's confession. The idea that Harry could be his son… well, that part was hard to believe, but the pain in Snape's voice when he'd talked about James and Lily? That was real.
In any case, there had to be more to the story. The least Harry could do was hear him out.
"I'll go."
"Harry!"
"Ron, I trust him. He's not going to hurt me, okay?"
"But…"
"If Harry says it's all right, I'm sure it's all right," Hermione said, though she still looked dubious. "Let's stay down here and find something to eat."
If there was one thing that could distract Ron, it was food. He followed Hermione into the kitchen, shooting a suspicious glance over his shoulder.
"Right," Harry said. "I guess we should…"
Snape nodded. "Follow me."
"Do you remember this?"
Harry frowned, studying the ornate box that had belonged to his mum. He hadn't seen it in more than a year, recalling all his unsuccessful attempts to pry it open.
"Yeah, Sirius gave it to me. How did you know…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "Occlumency lessons."
"Correct," Snape said. "I retrieved it when I was here last summer."
"You stole it?"
"Don't be absurd. It belongs to both of us."
"How do you know that? It doesn't even open!"
"Laymos," Snape whispered. Harry heard a soft click, his eyes widening as the lid swung open.
"What spell was that? I've never heard…"
"It was invented by your mother."
Settling himself on the bed, Harry kept his hands in his lap. He'd been so curious to know what was in the box, but now that it was open, he was afraid to look. What Snape said earlier… what if it was true? What if everyone else had lied to him, fooling him into believing he was someone he wasn't?
"Can you smell that?"
"What?"
"Lean closer," Snape said.
Ducking his head, Harry inhaled deeply. The odor was vaguely familiar, like some half forgotten dream, vanilla mingled with a fragrance that reminded him of sunshine.
"Your mother… Lily…"
"That's what she smelled like?"
Snape nodded.
"It's nice."
"Yes, it is."
Withdrawing a stack of pictures, Snape handed them to Harry. All of them were photos he'd never seen before, depicting his mum's pregnancy along with his first year of life. Just the two of them… James was nowhere to be seen.
"That was intentional," Snape said, as if sensing the direction of his thoughts. "Everything in this box is about you and her, not…"
"And you," Harry said. "Right?"
Snape grunted, pulling out a scroll and tossing it in Harry's lap.
"What's this?"
"Read it."
Harry unfurled the scroll, studying the elegant handwriting. To think that his mother had written these words, that she'd touched this parchment with her own hands…
Dear Harry,
You used accidental magic for the first time today. As much as I hate that your father couldn't be here to see it, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.
His father couldn't be there? Had James been off on an errand, maybe picking up supplies from Diagon Alley or taking care of Order business?
No. The letter was dated October 25, 1981, which meant James and Lily would've already been in hiding.
Harry shook his head, frowning as he read a little more.
Sometimes I wonder who you'll take after. Will you be skilled at charms like I am? Or will you inherit your father's talent for potions?
"Was my father… was James good at potions?"
"Abysmal," Snape said.
"But I… I'm a great Quidditch player. He was, too."
"So was my uncle, or so I've been told. Slytherin never lost a game when he played Seeker."
"Your uncle?"
Snape nodded. "My mother's elder brother. He died before I was born."
Strange, but Harry had never imagined Snape having a family. He was too connected to Hogwarts, someone who barely seemed to exist outside the school.
"Your mum? Where is she now?"
"Dead."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"Do you know what these are?" Snape said abruptly. He held several vials, each of them filled with a swirling silver substance.
"Memories?"
"Read the dates."
"October 25, 1979," Harry said. "July 31, 1980. August 6, 1981…"
"There's more."
"These are my mum's memories?"
"Yes," Snape said. "Do you wish to see them?"
"I… I don't know, I…"
"If you're not ready…"
For the first time, Harry leaned all the way over, peering into the box. It contained at least a dozen of those little vials, each one carefully labeled. His mum had obviously put a lot of work into preserving them, but why?
In the end, he supposed it didn't matter. The box spoke for itself, the creation of a person who'd desperately wanted to be heard.
"No, I'm ready. Not sure where we can find a Pensieve, but…"
"Here."
Reaching into his pocket, Snape withdrew a tiny object. He murmured a spell, waiting for the Pensieve to enlarge before he touched his wand to his temple. One by one, he extracted several silvery strands, dropping them into the basin.
"But those are your memories. What about my mum's?"
"These will help you understand the rest."
"Are you coming with me?"
"Pardon?"
"Dumbledore came with me," Harry said. "I just thought…"
Wouldn't that be invasive, watching memories with the person they belonged to? Maybe, though Harry was afraid to go alone, bewildered by too many things he still didn't understand.
"Is that what you want?"
"I guess."
Snape was beside him as the world dissolved, the two of them landing in a sunlit field. Harry spotted a swingset nearby, breath catching in his throat as he saw a flash of brilliant red hair.
"Mum?"
"Yes," Snape said quietly. "Lily and your Aunt Petunia."
"And you."
The boy was hiding behind a bush, his expression filled with longing as he watched the girls play. Harry felt a surge of pity, seeing clear signs of neglect in his thin body and shabby clothes.
"Don't look at me. Watch her."
He nodded, turning his attention back to Lily as she let go of the swing. Laughing wildly, she soared through the air, as graceful as a ballerina as she landed on her feet.
"Lily, don't do it! Mummy told you not to!"
"Aunt Petunia hated magic," Harry said. "Even back then, she hated it."
"She didn't hate it. Watch."
Snape had a point. Petunia was staring at the flower in Lily's hand, her eyes widening as the petals started to move. Lily tossed it on the ground, and still, Petunia seemed fascinated, her voice full of awe.
"How do you do it?"
"It's obvious, isn't it?"
Harry jumped, startled as the boy stepped out from behind the bushes. His cheeks were flushed, an air of nervous excitement hovering around him as he moved a little closer.
Meanwhile, the adult version of Snape had looked away, clearing his throat self-consciously.
"You're a witch."
"That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"
It was an awkward scene, not helped by Petunia's snide remarks. In the end, the dark-haired boy was left standing alone, his expression full of bitter disappointment.
"You don't have to be embarrassed," Harry said. "I had trouble making friends at that age, too."
"I'm not embarrassed," Snape said stiffly. "Shall we proceed?"
As if on cue, the scene dissolved, reforming in a thicket of trees. Two children sat side by side, chattering excitedly about going off to Hogwarts.
"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"
"No, it doesn't make any difference."
Again, Snape averted his gaze, his mouth twisting like he was in pain.
"I can finish this on my own if you want."
"No."
They both went quiet, watching several years pass by in quick succession. Lily and Snape had obviously been the best of friends, a closeness that continued despite being sorted into different Houses. Unfortunately, their friendship couldn't last forever. Harry already knew what to expect, but still, it was painful to watch the disagreements that led up to that terrible day by the lake.
"He fancies you, James Potter fancies you! And he's not… everyone thinks… big Quidditch hero…"
"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag. I don't need you to tell me that."
Honestly? Harry agreed with her. He'd already known James was a bully, of course, but these new memories…
"Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."
"I wasn't listening," Snape muttered as the scene dissolved. "I should have."
Harry recognized the next memory, stopping in his tracks as Snape headed toward the lake.
"Wait," he said. "We don't have to go over there."
"Ah, yes. You've already witnessed this particular humiliation."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I shouldn't have…"
"Did you enjoy it?"
"What? No!"
"I'd spent five years going out of my way to make your life miserable. All those things I said to you, the insults, the vicious taunts? And let us not forget all the times I've punished you, finding even the smallest excuse to…"
"I still didn't enjoy seeing you bullied like that," Harry said. "Why would I?"
"Because I deserved it."
"No, you didn't."
Snape opened his mouth, though the scene shifted before he had a chance to respond. They were inside now, standing at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower as teenage Snape attempted to apologize.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not interested."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath."
He really did seem to regret what he'd done, though Lily wasn't having it. She just stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, green eyes cold and unyielding.
"I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just…"
"Slipped out?"
It wasn't about the word. Harry understood that, though the younger version of Snape remained clueless. He didn't even deny that he wanted to join Voldemort, which was the only thing that might've salvaged their friendship.
"You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
Abruptly, the memory dissolved, depositing them back at Grimmauld Place. Snape's expression was grim, mouth pressed into a tight line as he retrieved the contents from the Pensieve and placed them back in his head.
"Why?" Harry said. "Why did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Choose them – him – over her."
"I thought she'd be impressed."
"What? That makes no sense! She hated…"
"Do you think I don't know that? I have spent a lifetime regretting…" Snape paused, taking a deep breath. "What's clear now wasn't so obvious back then. Yes, there were warning signs, but it was easy to ignore them or dismiss them as rumors. The things he offered… protection, power, prestige…"
"So that's why you did it?" Harry said. "You wanted to be powerful?"
"I was tired of being powerless."
"Because of Sirius and my father?"
"Stop calling him that! It's an insult, not just to me, but to you and your mother, too! All the things he did, the lives he ruined…"
Snape trailed off, white faced and shaking, his hands clenched into fists.
"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly. "I just don't understand…"
"Of course you don't. Forgive me, I…"
"Maybe we should finish this later."
"No."
"You're obviously upset…"
"We'll finish it now."
Snape perched himself on the edge of the bed, taking several deep breaths. Soon enough, he'd regained his composure, his expression neutral as he dropped several more memories in the Pensieve.
"Watch these while I check on your friends."
Harry couldn't blame him for wanting to skip these memories. They were painful, humiliating, difficult even for Harry to watch and he hadn't been involved. All that stuff Sirius and Remus had said about James growing up, how he'd stopped bullying and become a better person?
"Well, Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down, could you?"
That wasn't what happened. It wasn't what happened at all. Granted, Snape could've left out stuff that made him look bad, but everything Harry saw was entirely unprovoked. They really had peed on him, ambushing him when he was just walking down the hall. They'd stripped off his clothes and put him in a body bind, leaving him to lie there until he was discovered the following morning.
The next memory wasn't much better. Snape had slipped off into the woods, obviously upset, and what had they done? They'd ganged up on him, James and Sirius forcing him to duel them both. They didn't seem to care that they had an unfair advantage, laughing as Pettigrew joined in.
No one had believed Snape. They'd left him there injured and bleeding, and no one had believed him. He was the one who was punished, unable to make it back up to the school until well after nightfall.
"You ambushed him!"
"Is that what he told you? Well, I'm afraid it was the other way around."
"Then why is he the one lying in the Hospital Wing?"
"I healed myself."
"You don't know how to heal, Severus. All you ever do is destroy."
Harry shook his head, feeling sick as he saw the devastation on Snape's face. Even Lily hadn't believed him, treating him like a criminal.
Caught off guard by the next memory, Harry found himself staring at a younger version of Voldemort. He looked far more human, less snakelike, almost like an ordinary wizard aside from that strange, reddish glow that had just begun to creep into his eyes.
"Why are you here?"
"I'm tired," Snape said. "Tired of feeling less than. Unworthy. Tired of others looking down on me, assuming they can treat me like rubbish."
"And why should anyone look down on you? You've barely reached your majority, yet you're already exceptionally skilled."
"How do you know…"
"I've been watching you for years, Severus, marveling over your potential."
Snape hadn't been right to join Voldemort. Of course not, though Harry could understand why he'd done it. Young, frightened, no one else in the world he could turn to…
"Are you finished?"
He nodded, lifting his head from the Pensieve.
"Good," Snape said as he closed the door behind him. He took his wand out of his sleeve, bringing the silvery strands back up to his temple.
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
Yes, well…"
"To go through all that and have no one believe you? Even my mum…"
Snape shook his head. "It wasn't Lily's fault. None of it. What Potter did…"
"He really had her fooled, didn't he?"
"Yes."
Harry nodded. "So what happened next?"
"Shall I tell you, or shall I show you?"
"You can just tell me," he said. "I mean, if you're okay with that."
"Will my words be enough to convince you?"
Snape didn't expect Harry to believe him. Why would he? Judging by past experience, he was used to being called a liar, even when he was telling the truth. Wasn't that why he was reliving all these painful memories? How else was he supposed to prove…
Harry wasn't ready to follow that train of thought. Not yet. But there was one thing he could do, an act of faith that would hopefully make this a little easier.
"I believe you about my fath… about James. I know him and Sirius were awful to you, and I know he lied to my mum. Whatever else you want to tell me? I'll listen."
Clearly, this was enough for Snape. He sat on the edge of the bed, folding his hands in his lap.
"As soon as I left Hogwarts, I began working for the Dark Lord…"
"Doing what?"
"I'd rather not go into detail. Suffice it to say, it wasn't what I'd expected."
Harry nodded. "Go on."
"One night about a year later, I encountered your mother."
"Where?"
"In a dark alley." Snape smirked. "She was supposed to be meeting the Order, but by the time she arrived, they were already gone. I was fortunate to stumble across her when I did. Had it been one of the others…"
"So what happened?"
"I gave her the opportunity to kill me. She didn't."
"Why?"
"Why didn't she kill me?" Snape said.
"No, why would you do that? Did you really mean it, or…"
"I meant it," Snape said quietly, "though it really wasn't a risk for me. If she'd hated me that much… enough to want me dead… I wouldn't have wanted to go on living anyway."
"You loved her that much?" Harry stared at him, stunned.
"I did. I still do. That is why… well, I suppose we'll get to that later. Where was I?"
"The alley."
Snape nodded. "After that night, I was convinced I'd never see her again. I was wrong. She contacted me just a few weeks later, asking if we could talk."
Harry sensed where this was going, but he couldn't bring himself to stop it. He was too curious now, desperate for answers to questions he was afraid to ask.
"Talk?"
Snape nodded, touching his wand to his temple. Withdrawing a single strand, he dropped it into the Pensieve.
"I said I'd listen. You don't have to…"
"In this case, my words would be insufficient."
"Okay."
The bedroom disappeared, replaced by what appeared to be a vacant cottage. Two people were sitting on the couch, their silhouettes illuminated by several candles that had been placed around the room.
"Severus, I wanted to apologize. You were right about James, you tried to tell me…"
"What did he do?"
"Let's just say he isn't the person I thought he was."
For the first time in his life, Harry saw his mum cry. Her tear filled eyes wrenched at his heart, blowing yet another hole in the story he'd been told. James Potter, Gryffindor hero, devoted husband and father…
"Please, Severus. I've been lied to so much that I… I don't know what to believe anymore. I need to know the truth."
"What would you like to know?"
"That day in the woods… what really happened?"
Harry knew what to expect, but still, it was hard to listen as Snape described what he'd been through. Lily was obviously having the same problem, her cheeks wet with tears.
"I asked James to leave you alone. He promised…"
"He lied."
Really, it was no wonder that Snape hadn't wanted to explain this conversation. So much had been said, every single word of it laced with pain. It only got worse when they talked about Snape becoming a Death Eater, Lily's voice filled with pity while his dripped with regret.
"Don't feel sorry for me, Lily. Don't excuse my actions. I've done terrible things."
"Did you want to do them?"
"No, I did not. I thought… I didn't realize…"
"You must've heard the rumors."
"I didn't want to believe them. All I saw was…"
"What you wanted to see."
"Yes."
"Just like I did with James."
Lily sounded bitter, heartbroken, her mouth twisting like she'd just tasted something revolting. Was that because James had lied to her about the bullying? Or was there more, yet another awful truth that hadn't been revealed yet?
Then again, maybe it had been revealed. All that stuff Snape had said earlier, the things Remus had told him? Something about James not loving Lily, marrying her just for show…
"If you could go back and choose… I mean, between You-Know-Who and me…"
"I'd choose you. Without hesitation."
Harry lost his train of thought, eyes widening as his mum kissed Snape. Abruptly, the scene dissolved, depositing him back at Grimmauld Place.
"I don't need to tell you what happened next," Snape said. "Or at least, I hope not."
"No," Harry said hastily. "No, I get it."
"Our… affair lasted for the next few months."
"She cheated on him?"
"Lily did nothing wrong," Snape said, his eyes suddenly burning with fury. "Nothing! You have no idea what he put her through!"
"Then tell me," Harry said. "Make me understand."
"He… he took advantage of her in every possible way. You saw what he did to me, our friendship, always trying to come between us. He was after her for years, and all for what? He didn't love her. Didn't want to be with her like I did. He did it just to spite me."
"Did she love him?"
"No," Snape said. "Only who she thought he was."
"But she figured out the truth pretty quick, didn't she? That memory you showed me… seems like she already knew…"
"She did."
"So why didn't she leave him?"
Snape sighed. "For all Potter's faults, he came from money. He had a powerful name. He was able to give her protection where I could not, and indeed, he used that protection as leverage. She never had the option of leaving, no matter how much she might've wanted to."
"You mean he forced her to stay?"
"Yes."
"But I don't understand. Why couldn't she just…"
"Hand me that vial."
"Which one?" Harry frowned.
"October 29," Snape said. "1979."
Snape chose to accompany him, the two of them landing in an unfamiliar kitchen. Harry saw James sitting at the table, though for the first time, no thrill of recognition shot through him. Instead, he felt uneasy, struck by the notion that he was looking at a stranger.
"Brace yourself," Snape said. "This won't be pleasant."
He nodded, watching closely as his mum slipped in through the back door. She cringed as she spotted James, though she did her best to pretend nonchalance.
"I know you must've been worried. I can explain."
It was too late. James already knew she'd been with Snape. Not only that, but he'd been spying on her, using Peter Pettigrew of all people to do it.
"Death Eaters sneaking into my house in the middle of the night? What else was I supposed to do?"
"I… I think I'm going to be sick."
Lily fled from the room, leaving James sitting there alone. Harry studied his face, stomach twisting in knots as he noticed James's expression. Heartbroken, sad, miserable? No. He looked smug.
"He's enjoying this!"
"Yes," Snape said, sounding as angry as Harry felt. "He is."
"How can he be so…"
Harry trailed off as the scene dissolved, only to reform in the same location. James was still at the table, though Lily had returned, glaring at him from her place beside the counter.
"If you knew he was here, what we were doing… why didn't you…"
"Why didn't I come back and catch you in the act?"
"Yeah."
"Because you were afraid of me finding out. As long as that was the case, you'd do whatever it took to keep up the facade."
What was that Snape had said about leverage? He'd been right. Not only that, he'd been right about other things, too. James admitted that he'd married Lily to pass on his family's name, not because he loved her. As for Snape…
"It gets worse," Snape said, his voice grim.
"How can it possibly get any worse?!" Harry was agitated now, cursing under his breath as James continued to torment his mother.
"If you can't handle this, perhaps we should return at another time."
"No, no, I want to see. I need to know what he did. All of it."
"Very well."
James hadn't only sent Wormtail to spy on Lily. He'd also put a tracking charm on her, tracing her location to… Spinner's End?
"James, please. He's not who you think he is."
"So he's not a Death Eater?"
"He doesn't want to be. Not anymore."
Harry glanced at Snape, troubled by his expression. He was grimacing, teeth bared, hands balled into white knuckled fists.
"Are you sure you can handle it? I don't mind watching alone."
"I'm not leaving. Not now."
Harry nodded, returning his attention to James. He'd just finished the last of his Firewhiskey, glowering at Lily as he rose from the table.
"This has to stop. You and Snivellus, whatever madness this is… it has to stop."
"I don't want it to stop."
"You're married to me!" James shouted.
"Fine. Let's get an annulment then."
"No."
"Okay, we'll stay married if that's what you want, but can't we stop lying to ourselves? We both want to be with other people."
"So?"
"So why can't we work out an arrangement? You and Sirius, me and…"
It was true. What Snape said, what Remus told him… James had been involved with Sirius, a detail his godfather had never bothered to mention. Why? Why had they lied? Remus said they'd done it to spare his feelings, but…
"You can end it. That's the only option I'll accept."
"And if I refuse?"
"If you refuse, I'll give his address to the Order. I'm sure they'd love to capture a known Death Eater, especially when he's alone and vulnerable."
Harry felt a hand on the back of his shirt, followed by a rough jerking sensation. The next thing he knew, he was back in the bedroom at Grimmauld Place.
"Are you all right?" he said.
"Just… give me a moment."
Snape sank down on the bed, holding his head in his hands. Finally, he looked up at Harry, his eyes full of anguish.
"Forgive me, I…"
"It's okay."
"It's not okay! None of this is! He had no right…"
"There's more, isn't there?" Harry said, though he was afraid he didn't want to know the answer. "What did he do?"
"He made her take the Vow."
"The Unbreakable Vow?" Harry's eyes widened.
"She vowed not to contact me," Snape said. "No contact, no attempts to see me."
"But why would she do that?"
"Why do you think?"
"To protect you?"
Snape nodded. "She traded her vows for theirs, making them swear they'd leave me alone."
"Theirs?" Harry said.
"Potter and Black."
"And you didn't know?"
"Of course I didn't!" Snape snapped. "Do you think I would've let it happen if I had? I spent the next 16 years assuming she'd chosen to leave me, that she'd ended our relationship because she was having Potter's child! I had no idea…"
"That I wasn't his?"
"Yes."
"But I… I look like him. I have his Patronus, and besides…"
Snape shook his head, shuffling through the scrolls before he thrust one in Harry's direction.
"Read it."
This letter was addressed to Snape, written the day after Harry had been born.
The only person I want… the only one I should be able to share this with… he isn't here. He can't be here, and I know that's my fault, but I didn't have a choice. I hope you'll understand that, that you won't blame me for what I've done. I hope Harry won't blame me either. It's a terrible thing, keeping a son from his father…
Harry hesitated, swallowing hard.
He's yours, Severus. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I hope you'll hear it directly from me rather than reading it in a letter, but just in case… I need you to know how and why this happened.
"By the time she realized she was pregnant," Snape said, "it was too late. She'd already taken the Vow. Obviously, she couldn't tell Potter out of fear for your safety. She had no choice but to pass you off as his."
"But how could she be sure? I mean, couldn't it have been either of you?"
"She knew."
"But…"
Why was Harry still fighting it? Why would he even want James as a father, knowing what he knew now?
"You don't believe me," Snape said.
"No, it's not that. I…"
"You don't want to believe me. Is that more accurate?"
"I just… I thought I knew who I was, who they were. Everything I've been told about myself, all the ways I take after him…"
"You take after your mother," Snape interrupted. "Anyone who says otherwise is either a fool or a liar."
"What about you?" Harry said. "You always compared me to him, saying I was lazy, arrogant, mediocre…"
"I was wrong."
"Okay, but that still doesn't explain…"
"Your appearance?"
Harry nodded.
"There's one more memory I'd like you to see," Snape said quietly. "It took place on the day you were born."
"Okay."
Ducking into the Pensieve, Harry landed on his feet in a dimly lit bedroom. His mother was kneeling on the bed, sweat-soaked and trembling as she gazed down at a newborn infant.
"Well, Severus, I guess we have a son."
She spoke in a whisper, her voice so hoarse he barely recognized it. Still, the words were unmistakable, a chill skittering up his spine as he watched her cut the cord. She wiped the baby with a clean, damp cloth, cooing as she cradled him in her arms.
He moved a little closer, frowning as he studied the tiny features. Green eyes? Those were definitely his, but the thin lips, the slight hook at the end of the nose…
Lily reached for her wand, eyes filling with tears as she traced it over the baby's face. The lips filled out, followed by the cheeks, the tiny nose suddenly straighter than it had been before. Subtle changes, but they made all the difference, transforming him into a miniature version of James Potter.
"Your mother was always good at charms."
Who'd told him that? Was it Sirius? Harry couldn't remember, standing there stunned as the scene faded to black.
