I made a couple of edits so decided to reupload this chapter. Hope you enjoy, new chapter coming soon! ;)
Author's note: the story will now be in America's perspective.
I felt proud of myself for singing my song so well. I had risen up, and I always will. I won't let this place or the people in it bring me down ever again.
I went through the rest of the evening engaging in small talk with various different people, all the while trying to avoid Maxon. Seeing him and the way he was looking at me was almost unbearable. He's married, he chose Kriss, I have to keep remembering that.
I decided to take a moment for myself away from the hustle and bustle of all the people and explore my old room to see if it looked any different. I snuck out of the ballroom, hoping no one would see me go as I wanted to be alone for this moment. I looked around as I walked, taking in the place I once called home. Although it never really was home, it was the person who lives here that made it home. I shook that thought out of my head and increased my pace to my room. When I reached it, I took a deep breath before opening the door.
The room looked almost exactly as it had when I left it, albeit a lot tidier after I left in such a rush. I walked in, looking at the room and all the memories from the selection flooded back to me. I bit my lower lip, suddenly feeling a pit in my stomach and my heart fluttering. I walked towards the door to the balcony when I heard a noise behind me, the feelings in my stomach and heart intensified. I turned around and saw Maxon standing there, staring at me.
My breath caught in my throat. I quickly remembered my place, and tried to draw on some of the strength from the song I had sung earlier. I curtsied, "Your Highness," I said as evenly as I could. Internally I was screaming- what could he possibly want from me? He paused for a moment before responding, "Lady America," he stopped again. This was killing me, "Your song was amazing," was he trying to torture me? I gave him a small smile and thanked him. "You look beautiful tonight," my stomach clenched. "I'm not sure Kriss would appreciate you saying that." I couldn't let him see any weakness in me, I had to stay strong. I could tell I surprised him when he faltered. Did he just expect me to fall back at his feet the second he decided he wanted me again?
I was growing impatient, I couldn't be alone with him for much longer. "Was there something you wanted?" I could barely finish my question when Maxon answered. "You, I want you. I made a mistake, America, I never should have married Kriss. It was you all along and I let a moment of anger ruin a lifetime of happiness." I couldn't believe what he was saying, this sounded like something out of a dream. "No," I whispered, shaking my head and taking small steps backwards. He kept going, "Ever since you left all I wanted to do was reverse the clock and take it all back. It should have been you that I married. We would've been so happy together, there was so much we could have achieved." As he said all of this he started approaching me, "There isn't anything I wouldn't give to take all of it back and make you my wife, America." "No," I said more firmly, "You chose this, this is what you wanted. You don't get to say that to me. I tried to tell you but you refused to listen. You made that decision for both of us." He tried to interrupt me but I kept going, "It's too late now. It's been two years, there's nothing that could change the situation we're in." "But what if I could-" he tried to say. "No, Maxon." My heart flipped when I said his name, it was the first time I had said it in two years, "I'm finally happy now, I made a life for myself, one without you. I don't need to hear this from you, it's two years too late." When I paused for less than a second, Maxon found a chance to jump in, "Don't say that America, I love you." I felt my heart stop beating in my chest. "Don't. You. Dare. You had your chance. You have a wife now, I don't want to hear that from you." I took a breath, "I can't do this anymore, this conversation is over. You go back to your life, and I'll go back to mine, and we'll never have to see each other again." I said sternly as I made my way to the door. Maxon grabbed my arm as I walked past him, "I can't let you leave again," he pleaded with me, but I found it incredulous- I didn't leave, I was kicked out. "You have no say in the matter," he looked so sad, "as someone once told me 'you put on a smile and you wear it to the last second'. I'm leaving, no matter what you say, so I think it's best for you to forget about this conversation, and forget about me, and go back to the life you chose." I took my arm out of his grip, even though it burned like fire where he had just held it. "Goodbye Maxon, forever." I resisted the urge to look at him and my room one last time and walked out the door. That was possibly one of the hardest moments of my life.
I plastered a smile on my face as I reentered the ballroom. It appeared no one had noticed we were gone, which was a good thing, I didn't need anyone asking me any questions. All I wanted to do was leave, but I knew I had to sing another song before I left. I stuck by May and the rest of my family for the rest of the evening. As soon as I was allowed, I took the stage one final time to sing my last song. I told the band which song to play. I wanted Maxon to really know how I felt, particularly after I was sent home from the selection, and this song does just that.
This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending
This is the way that we love, like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life, but not together
Wake up in the mornin', stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I'd guess I wish you well
Mmh, a little bit of Heaven, but a little bit of Hell
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory, happy ending's gone forevermore
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending
This is the way that we love, like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life, but not together
Two o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest, keep walking around
If I pretend that nothing ever went wrong
I can get to my sleep, I can think that we just carried on
This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory, happy ending's gone forevermore
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
No hope, no love no glory, no happy ending
This is the way that we love, like it's forever
Then live the rest of our life, but not together
Little bit of love
Little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day
Hey, hey, hey, hey
This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending
This is the way that we loved, like it's forever
Then live the rest of our lives, but not together
This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending
This is the way that we loved, like it's forever
Then live the rest of our lives, but not together
This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending
As I sang the final two lines, I looked at Maxon, trying to get him to listen to me. I could see the heartbreak in his eyes, but there was nothing I could do about it. He married Kriss, he had to deal with the consequences of his actions- we both did. I did a little curtsy and left the stage.
I gathered my family and ushered them towards the door. Before we could make our exit, King Clarkson and Queen Amberly approached me. I had also been trying to avoid both of them tonight, too. I didn't want to hear any of the nasty things Clarkson had to say, and I couldn't face Queen Amberly's disappointment. I knew she had gotten attached to me, as I had to her, and I let her down. To my surprise, King Clarkson was actually quite nice to me, complementary even. Amberly was lovely as ever, it was so difficult not to reach out and give her a warm hug. She said how proud she was of my singing career and she loved to see my success in the news. They both wished me well, and I left the conversation with a smile on my face.
As I left the room, I took one last glance back. I saw Maxon watching me. He tugged his ear. Was that his way of saying goodbye? As if by reflex my hand moved to tug my ear back. I caught myself before my hand came into view and grabbed May's hand instead. I served Maxon a solemn but stern stare, and turned to leave the palace for one final time. Maxon's last words to be at the end of the selection were ringing in my ears 'I'll be glad when you're gone'. I'll be glad when I'm gone from here too.
