Story Title: All The Ways to Say I Love You

Disclaimer: I still don't own YYH.

Author's Notes: Again, this fic is incomplete and this is not the last chapter. It's only as far as I got before the deadline. CH 5 is in progress. I have to admit that near the end of the deadline my self-doubts really kicked in and I got really burned out and stressed over completing it in time. Hopefully everyone can at least see where I was going with this fic and let me know if you like it. It's always nice to hear from fellow JinTouya fans.

As always, thanks for reading.

-o-

Chapter Four: That Butterflies Feeling

-o-

Jin could not have wished for a nicer afternoon than the one he got. Blue skies, cotton fluff clouds, warm temperatures, the fair winds were blowing in his favor today. He had hurried home after work and got ready in record time. The way he was feeling, that excited jitter, usually only happened on a first date. He was kidding himself, of course. This wasn't a first date. It was just a funny thought he had.

He stood by the mermaid fountain, waiting for Touya. He watched a few small birds peck at the handful of seed scattered on the cobblestone path. Even if the lad didn't know where the fountain was, surely he was going to see him through all the other folks. Everything about him—his height, his hair color, his body build—stuck out like a sore thumb most places. Not to mention the fact that he was wearing a sunset-colored t-shirt and burgundy pants. There was always the chance that Touya wasn't going to show up, but Jin held out hope that the lad was just running a tiny bit behind.

Jin whistled a tune and tapped his boot heels against the ring of the fountain. Every splash of blue caught his eye, but each time he was disappointed to see that it wasn't Touya. The lad had seemed taken aback when he had asked him to meet him. Maybe he had reconsidered and decided not to come. Jin checked the time on his phone. It was three-thirty, and no sign of the lad. Maybe he had been stood up. Jin had never been stood up before. It was a strange feeling. A painful one too.

A few minutes later, Touya showed up. His flushed face and quickened breaths made it clear that he had ran most of the way here. Or the lad was already a bundle of nerves. Could have been either really, but Jin was hoping on the former than the latter. It was the first time he was seeing him without an apron on. He was wearing a dark blue jacket open over a white shirt with matching dark blue jeans. A dark gray and black fashion scarf hung loosely around his neck, hiding most of it.

"Took a little longer to free yourself from work, didn't it?" Jin said, his tone playful. Rushes happened. Customers kept him on register. Last-minute issues arose. There were plenty of times that Jin hadn't gotten off work until fifteen, twenty minutes past his shift.

Touya nodded. And then he stood very straight and bowed.

"No need to apologize. You're here now, aren't ya?" Jin said. He then turned and looked out across the park. The wind ruffled his hair. "Today is nice, innit? Will you walk a lap around with me?"

Touya agreed to.

They started walking together, following the perimeter of the park. It was going to take them a little over an hour to lap the entire park. Truth be told, Jin didn't have much of a plan beyond this. He mostly had just wanted to have a chance to talk with the lad outside of work. He wanted to take away the pressure to represent the business or the limits on their time. There were no other job responsibilities and customers to tend to. It was just the two of them. Asking him to go eat somewhere, or to go to the cafe for a cup of coffee felt too much like a date and wasn't the approach Jin wanted to take. A walk in the park was neutral territory.

Though if things went well and the lad agreed, Jin was happy to head back to the cafe for a cup of coffee. That was just wishful thinking, of course. He doubted that things were going to change that much so soon. Hearing his voice would be nice, though.

It really was a fantastic day. People were out exercising with friends and family. Dog owners were playing catch. Children were running around the nearby playground. Jin was enjoying the sun, feeling its warmth on his face. He jabbered on about how nice the day was again and remarked on the color of the leaves as the sunlight filtered through the branches, the songs of the birds all around them, and the scent of flowers and freshly-mowed grass carried in the breeze.

He told Touya how he had been looking forward to meeting up with him all day, and he thanked him for coming. All the while, Touya kept his head down throughout their walk and listened. Outside of the bookshop, Touya was even less confident around him than usual. On a wind's blessings, social interaction really wasn't the lad's strong suit... It was such a shame. He seemed like he had a gentle heart, but it was protected behind icy walls.

Unfortunately, reading the lad's face to get a clue of how he was feeling and how things were going was like trying to read tea leaves to see the future. The lad seemed at a loss at what they were doing or why he was here. Jin didn't pick up any signs that he didn't want to be here. He had the feeling that this was strange to him but it was nice too and he hadn't expected that.

And, well, there was another reason that Jin had wanted to come here too. The park was home to a fairly-popular public attraction. There was a butterfly house, and it was one of Jin's favorite places. He often came by after work to walk through the giant greenhouse area and enjoy the peace and beauty surrounding him—even on his worst days, he always had something to look forward to after work. He had always wanted to take a friend along, but most of his friends thought a good time was a bar crawl or the front row on fight night. His best option to take was Yusuke—and it was never good when Yusuke was the best choice among the bunch.

The butterfly house was a curious place to stumble upon in the park if someone didn't know it was there. Touya read the large welcome sign and then looked at Jin questioningly.

"Have you ever been inside?" Jin asked.

Touya shook his head no.

"We should go in it then."

The butterfly house was free for locals, so Jin and Touya continued on through to the exhibit area. Jin was keyed up with excitement. He was having trouble keeping his eyes on where he was supposed to be going, but that was only because he badly wanted to see Touya's face when he saw the butterfly area. There were all kinds of butterflies and even more flowers in just as many colors. Jin only knew what four, maybe five of them were called, and there were so many more than that. Lavender was an easy one, and he knew the shasta daisies from work. Echinacea too. And of course, the butterfly bush. There were all sorts of pretty, clustered flowers and tall ornamental grasses too.

It always smelled so nice and sweet on the butterfly walk. The floral perfume made Jin think of honey and the sweet scent always went to his head. It only made him more giddy-headed. Jin smiled as he watched those blue sky eyes of Touya's take in the bright colors all around them. Jin had never known anyone as serious as Touya, but being so tense all the time wasn't good for anybody. It was going to be nice to see him relax, even just a tiny bit. The lad wasn't smiling yet, but this was a right step.

The two of them wandered on down the path as butterflies flitted from flower to flower. Butterflies were everywhere they looked in any direction. Some fluttered without care straight into their faces, and others speedily darted around them as if they were zooming by a couple of slow cars. Little white ones. Little yellow ones. Brown with white spots ones. Yellow tiger-striped ones. A shiny dark green one. Maybe it was because he was wearing bright, warm colors or maybe he smelled of sugar and syrup, but the little buggers liked landing on Jin. They always liked him, especially when he came here still in his uniform.

Jin looked back and caught sight of Touya taking a picture of a black and bright green butterfly on his phone. "A shutterbug, are ya?" he said.

Touya seemed embarrassed that Jin had caught him and put his phone away. Jin didn't understand why. The butterfly house was for photo-taking. Jin hadn't meant anything by calling him a shutterbug. He was glad to see the lad enjoying himself.

"If you like snapping photos, I know a spot on down," he said, waving his hand to come follow him.

In the center of the exhibit, there was a koi pond and a man-made waterfall. Jin usually spent most of his time here when he visited the butterfly house. He liked looking up at the sky through the greenhouse glass ceiling as butterflies spiraled above him. From this center area, the walking paths branched off in several directions to other sections. Nectar stations and chrysalis observation boxes dotted the space as well.

Leaning against the metal safety railing, Jin hung back by the koi pond and watched Touya as he admired an unusually large butterfly bush. Many of the branches hung down over him and were rife with fragrant pale purple blooms and butterflies dancing circles above it. And to Jin's delight, Touya was smiling. Him among the blossoms with such a gentle, peaceful expression was such a mighty lovely sight. Jin wished that he was able to make him smile at him like that.

The lad didn't seem to want to take pictures anymore. Jin didn't understand why. He didn't want to talk about his hobby either. Jin didn't know a lick about photography, but listening to the lad talk all about it would have been a delight.

Maybe, try as he might to make it so, he and the lad weren't meant to be anything more than strangers. Kurama had told him that he had to be patient and that it would take time for the lad to warm up to him, but how long was that? Jin had tried talking to him. For more than a week, he had waved at the fellow. And now, they were spending time together in silence and Jin's attempts at conversation were left unreplied. At best, Jin was getting the tiniest glimmers of hope, but those glints barely shined at the end of this dark, uncertain tunnel. How much time was going to have to pass before the lad smiled at him? Before he said a single word to him? And with every forward step, how many walls like this was he going to hit?

Jin looked over at the lad, who felt his gaze and glanced at him before quickly turning back to the butterfly bush. This was possibly the closest they were ever going to be.

Jin's heart ached. He liked the lad. He liked him from the moment he saw him. He wanted to put his arm around his shoulders and tell him that he was his friend now and that there was nothing to it and what was would forever be. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to hold him so close that he felt his heart beating and his stomach flutter with laughter against him. He wanted to ask questions and listen and know everything about him.

Perhaps he should just tell him. How he felt and what he was thinking. Jin had been trying to hold back, to not come across too strongly and overwhelm him. Maybe putting his heart on his sleeve was the right call.

Touya came over and leaned against the railing beside Jin. They stood just in each other's bubble. It was closer than Jin had expected they would be. A large silvery-blue butterfly had landed on the lad's head. It was a very pretty blue, though not as pretty as his eyes. Jin knew enough to know that it was one of the rarest butterflies visitors could find on the walk.

"Sure look, you made a friend," Jin said playfully, as the lad let the butterfly carefully crawl onto his hand. It came to rest on his bent thumb and gently opened and closed its wings. Jin swore he almost saw Touya smile.

"Me and that butterfly have a bit in common. I've been stuck to you these past few weeks, haven't I?" Jin said, as he hooked his thumbs in his pants pockets. "I hope I haven't been making you feel uncomfortable. I don't mean to. Never have. I'm after getting to know ya is all. That's all I've ever been trying to do."

Touya listened. The butterfly was on the move again, traversing his palm and dawdling around his pulse point before taking off.

"If I'm bothering you, if you want me to leave you alone, tell me. It's okay if you do. I'd rather know than be causing you stress." As sure as he was that they would get along with each other, Jin wasn't trying to force the lad to like him. "Do you want me to stop?"

Touya drew in his bottom lip and bit down on it as he weighed his thoughts. Jin knew the risk he was taking. But if he told him to leave him alone, Jin planned on showing the lad that he meant his word. He wasn't going to stop by the bookshop anymore. It was going to be strictly polite smiles and the usual script between them at the cafe. It wasn't going to be all bad. Not forever. Jin was going to do a lot of sad sighs and wistful longing for what could have been and what never came to be, but he respected Touya's feelings. And if he wasn't as interested in getting to know him as he was with him, then so be it.

Touya shook his head no.

His eyes widening in honest shock, Jin hadn't expected him to answer no. Jin was ready to apologize for the trouble he had been, say goodbye, and be off. But despite his silence, the stares, the shyness, Touya still wanted him to come around.

"You sure?"

Touya nodded yes.

Jin's heart fluttered faster than all of the butterflies in the whole exhibit. He needed to calm down and not sweep him up and hug him. He probably wouldn't like that—Yusuke hadn't liked it when he had picked him up and hugged him and Touya was much shorter than Yusuke.

"I just hope to see you not so nervous around me. What you see is who I am. All smiles and laughs and a couple of loose screws. You can probably hear them rattling in there too." Jin even shook his head just a little, but the lad didn't smile. Jin might have seen the corners of his mouth lift up, but the lad's mouth was so tightly pressed into a thin line it was hard to tell.

"One day, you'll speak to me, and I know it'll be a grand sound. Ears like mine know a pleasant sound when they hear it."

It was then that Touya grabbed his phone from his pocket and tapped on it a bit before turning the screen toward Jin. It took him a second to figure out what he was seeing, but Jin realized that Touya was showing him his contact list, specifically where to put in a new contact. Jin eagerly recited his phone number to him. Touya typed a little more and then Jin's phone pinged.

Until then...will this suffice? read Touya's text. The lad peered up, saw Jin's starry eyes, and quickly tilt his head down in an effort to hide the pink spreading across his cheeks.

This was more than good. This wasn't a glint in the dark. This was a lit lantern showing him the way. Little by little, as long as Jin was patient, the lad's ice walls were melting. At least, Jin hoped so. Hearing his voice might be a ways away still, but they were getting there. Jin had his doubts, but he never quit. Not easily. How ever long it took, Jin was willing to wait.

-o-

There was a word for this kind of feeling, but the word was eluding Touya. He wasn't sure what a good kind of nervousness was called. Eagerness? Excitement, maybe? Touya had never felt this way about another person before. He had never looked forward to seeing someone every day or hoped to spend more time with them. But the fellow—Touya scolded himself for not referring to Jin by his name again. He really wasn't a stranger to him anymore, and while it was too early for him to call him a friend just yet, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

Touya wasn't sure yet if they were friends. Making friends was something Touya hadn't really done before. He didn't know what all went into it, how much time needed to pass, or what milestones they needed to reach. Touya didn't know. With Kurama, their friendship had grown slowly over time, years actually, and Touya had never noticed. It just happened, and there was not much Touya could reflect on to figure out how they came to be friends.

Besides, what he and Kurama had built their friendship upon was very different from what his and Jin's friendship was going to be based on. And Jin was nothing like Kurama. Jin was direct and upfront. He always said what he meant and meant what he said. Touya liked that honest quality about him. He never had to worry if he was pretending to be nice to him. Touya was only just starting to realize several things about Jin actually.

Namely, that most people would have given up or never bothered to get to know him like Jin had tried. Touya was well aware how isolated he kept himself from other people and how reluctant he was to open up. Part of it was because he didn't know how to form bonds with other people, and he genuinely did not know how to react, but part of it was purposefully done. But Jin had obstinately persevered for reasons Touya did not understand. Clearly, Jin had seen something about him that he liked, something about him that was worthwhile to put up with his stares and silence all this time. Touya had no idea what that something could have been and didn't focus too much on figuring out why. Figuring out what Jin was thinking was a little like trying to herd cats sometimes.

Jin still came over to the bookshop on his break and talked to him if he wasn't busy. Touya's phone was in his locker, but he was still able to answer Jin's yes-no questions. It was a game between them now where Jin asked him if he liked a certain movie or a food or the daytime, or cold weather and Touya would nod according to his preferences. The fact that it was a fast way of getting know a lot of little things about him was not lost on Touya.

At home for the day, Touya changed out of his gym clothes and took a shower. He then changed into a dark blue tank top and a pair of light gray sweats. He picked up his phone that he had left on the kitchen table and climbed into his oversized chair. After putting on a show for some background noise, Touya sent Jin a quick text to let him know he was home. Their last text was the two of them wishing each other a good day at work. Getting a good morning text every morning from Jin was a bit strange to Touya at first, but he was getting more and more used to it. Honestly, it was a nice splash of sweetness in his otherwise bland morning routine.

Speaking of other good things happening, Touya had been lucky enough today to finally snap a cute photo of Our Landlord, a semi-stray cat that lived around his apartment complex. He was a calm and affectionate fluffy brown and orange cat that always turned and ran away whenever Touya had tried to take a good photo of him. Touya had taken a photo of him looking very regal as he looked down on him from atop a sun-warmed brick wall.

Touya liked taking photos, but he took photos of things he found aesthetically pleasing—nature mostly, the sun rising and setting from his apartment balcony, cats he met, a good meal he was about to partake. He wasn't a professional photographer. He didn't even consider photography his hobby. It was just something he did for himself.

Which was why he had to stop taking pictures at the butterfly house when Jin had caught him. Jin had meant well, and he had tried to encourage him to take all the pictures that he wanted, but Touya didn't like any attention on him or on things he enjoyed doing. He didn't want Jin watching him from afar. His photos weren't meant for any social media platform or to build a career portfolio. He wasn't searching for the perfect shot to garner the most likes. They were his memories meant to remind him of better times.

Touya had thought that he had deleted the next photo. Touya didn't take selfies. He didn't like getting his picture taken. But after convincing him to take one as a keepsake of their good time, Touya had humored Jin and hopped up onto the metal safety railing, so that they could take a picture together. The whole reason he had let Jin use his phone was so he could delete it later in secret.

Touya hated how he looked in the photo. All he could see was his ocean of a forehead and his short eyebrows. He was embarrassed and blushing and trying not to look at the camera. He had never been so close to anyone before. Jin had put his arm around his waist and pulled him closer to him as he leaned into him. Touya was basically pressed up against Jin's chest. Touya could have laid his head right on Jin's chest if he had tilted his head back. Which wasn't incorrect, but it was still kind of a strange thing to realize, now that he thought about it.

And well, Touya remembered something else unusual he had noticed that he didn't usually notice. Jin had smelled nice. He had smelled clean and fresh from a good men's soap. He remembered everything being so warm and Jin was so close and practically hugging him. The flowers were beautiful, and there were so many butterflies. All in all, it had been a wonderful, unexpected surprise, and honestly it had been one of the best times Touya had experienced in a very long time.

He still hated how he looked. But he decided not to delete the photo after all.