THE FOLLOWING IS A FAN BASED PARODY.

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-One mile below the city of Tairon-

The low hum of computer screens were the only audible noises she heard as she regained consciousness, one single thought echoing around her mind as her vision took in the sight of the world around her.

She should be dead.

She had lost, even in her confusion addled mind, she could distinctly remember her failure in battle. The pain and fear, and most of all confusion rushed back to her as she gingerly began to raise her body off the floor, her body aching in ways that she had never felt before. Her brain processed emotions she had never experienced before, things she was designed never to experience.

The strong do what they want and the weak suffer what they must, or so her master would claim to anyone who would listen.

The low hum of the computer beeped several times, drawing her attention to the closest screen to her. A large blue bar the only image visible on the screen, with the words " Download Complete" over it in big bold black letters. Her mind didn't seem to make sense of it, whether that was because of a raging headache overtaking her or not she couldn't be sure, but she noticed the same black bar and the same big bold lettering appearing on every computer screen she could see, and she assumed even those she couldn't.

A sharp bang, like a large weight being thrown against a wall, followed by a howl of pain cut through her confusion. She was not alone. Her vision was still slightly blurred, the world around her more than a foot away from her face was blurry and formless, but she could make do well enough. Her instincts honed after years of training not leaving her despite her current situation.

She crouched down close to the ground, her legs straining from the movement after the amount of stress that was put on them from the previous fight. She was reminded of her first mission outside the village with her older brother, Hayate when they were tasked by the clan elders to sneak inside of a rival clan leaders' compound to...

No...that wasn't her. None of that was really her. That was just another memory from the real Kasumi.

She kept to the shadows, despite the memories not really being hers, the memories still showed her the advantages of stealth. With each step she took her vision improved slightly, featureless shadows took human shapes, blurred forms gained hard edges and grew features until she saw what was happening in front of her.

Rig, the man who had made her do so many horrible things was fighting with everything he had left, but it wasn't enough. He wasn't strong enough, wasn't fast enough, and wasn't skilled enough to pose much of a threat to the encroaching figure.

The towering figure looked as frightening to her as it had when she first stood in front of it. The light reflecting off of its golden visor almost blinding her as it stalked Rig like some powerful predator.

Rig threw a wild haymaker towards the taller figure, his normal form and confidence shattered from equal amounts of fatigue and distress. The blow was caught as easily as the massive thing had blocked her own attacks. A light squeeze from the giant hand more than enough to completely ruin Rigs appendage, the sound of breaking bones overshadowed by his grunts and screams of pain. But even those sounds were quickly silenced as Rig was lifted off the ground by the figure, its other hand circling around Rigs neck, and slamming him against the hard metal wall.

"Let him go." She didn't know why she said it, but she did.

The man being held up by his neck was not a good person, even she knew that. He had done horrible things to people who didn't deserve it and enjoyed himself while he did it. He...he forced her to do things she didn't want to do, things she didn't want to do to people who didn't deserve it, but even so she didn't want to see the man suffer.

She didn't want to see anyone suffer if she could avoid it.

The massive green figure looked her square into her eyes, still not even flinching from the vain attempts Rig made to defend and to free himself, before he unceremoniously dropped her master's son to the ground and turned fully to face her in one single motion.

She tensed for a moment, her mind willing her body into a fighting position to defend herself but finding it impossible the closer the large being became. She heard a voice that sounded eerily similar to that of her master, ordering her to eliminate the treat in front of her, But what could she do that she hadn't tried before?

The figure didn't strike at her when it stopped less than a yard away from her, even though she knew it could cut the distance between them in the blink of an eye. The twin lights on either side of its face (Face?, Helmet? Mask?) illuminating her to the point where she thought her vision would be lost once again.

It reached a hand to the back of its head, and then placed a small piece of metal on top on one of the many crates that still littered the lab. Suddenly, luminous and pale blue light bloomed from beneath the shard of metal and she froze in place as lights danced upward into the very air itself. They twinkled and shimmered like shafts of moonlight refracted through shards of crystal ice, becoming more and more numerous and radiant with each passing second, until, in a flicker of white glow, a woman unlike any she had ever thought existed appeared if as by magic.

Was...was that a spirit?

Were...spirits real?

She remembered a dream she once had. A memory from the real Kasumi's childhood, of playing in the forest of her family's home, looking for all sorts of spirits and fairies that might have made the thick underbrush of the Mushin forest their homes. But to see one in real life was a completely different experience altogether, what does one say to a literal spirit?

Wait...was she a nature spirit, like the ones Kasumi was looking for?

What if she was a ghost?

Or maybe a demon?

Or.. was she...a goddess?! Was she in front of an actual goddess!? Were goddesses real!?

How does someone act around a goddess?! What should she say!?

"H-Hello."

"Hello" the handheld goddess spoke to her, in a tone of voice she couldn't remember hearing from anyone before." It's good to see you up and about, I was worried that the Neanderthal over here was too hard on you from before."

"She attacked us."

"That doesn't give you an excuse to mistreat a lady like that." the blue woman said, turning her glowing body to look up at the larger figure." What would Doctor Halsey say if she saw that? For shame." The giant figure shook its head slightly before answering the tiny blue figure.

"She'd be upset that I left a potential threat alive." the giant said before the small figure raised her hand to silence him, and to her great shock, the massive being obeyed the silent command. She really must be a goddess to command the obedience of such a being.

"That's enough out of him, let's just you and I have ourselves some girl talk. How does that sound?"

She really didn't know how that sounded.

She had never spoken to anyone before, in any meaningful way, the only words ever spoken to her were orders and demands. The prospect however of speaking with someone (fairies and spirits are people, right?) in something more than harsh orders and one-word answers made her chest ache. A warm feeling started to grow in the pit of her stomach that quickly spread throughout her body, and her heart felt as if it would beat out of her chest if it moved any faster than it already did.

The giant cleared his throat.

The fairy glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Oh, just spoil my fun, will you. The first piece of girl talk I have in months and you go and ruin it, being a such a man." The blue goddess spoke with such familiarity, very unlike that of a master speaking to its servant, so maybe the green giant wasn't the goddess slave? then what was he? Was he a he? He certainly sounded like a "he", in fact, he sounded more like a "he" then almost every other man she had ever heard in her life.

It was settled then, the giant green "it" was, in fact, a "he".

Their conversation was broken, however, when a shrill sound broke through. Halfway between the moan of a wounded animal and that of a terrible laugh erupted from behind the massive figures great bulk. She looked behind the massive figure before her to the defeated form of Rig. He barely had the energy to sit up, allowing the thick metal wall behind him to do most of the work of keeping him upright. His face, whose distinguishing feature was once the cruel smirk he wore and his pair of menacing dark eyes were overshadowed by the deep gashes and bruises of a man who fell in battle. His nose was crooked and bent, like the beak of a vulture, and his once vibrant dark eyes were dull and swollen.

He looked like a completely different person from only an hour previously.

"You don't get it, do you? you oversized freak, "Rig said, spitting blood and pieces of broken teeth as he spoke. Even in defeat not allowing a once of respect to the man who nearly beat him to death.

"You don't ask a car for its permission before you drive it, you don't ask if a hammer is okay after using it. That isn't a person."

He rose to his feet, slowly and painfully, dragging his broken body with the effort of a man who would like nothing better than to not stand up. "That thing is my property"

The blue fairy eyed the man for a second, her disdain overriding her indifference for a split second, before turning away from him and saying with a tone of utter boredom replied: "Chief grab his arms."

"Wait, what?" Rigs eyes went wide as the green giant took a step towards him without hesitation. Rigs reaction to the command was as warranted as they were predictable, as he found himself once again off the hard ground and floating in the air. One armored gauntlet was wrapped around his neck, firm but not tight enough to constrict Rigs breathing or speech, the other was gripped vice-like around the same arm that held his ruined hand.

"You're in a very talkative mood I see." the spirit said from her position, arms crossed as if even speaking with the man was beneath her. "Let's see if you can be more than a glorified punching bag for the big guy over here."

Rig convulsed and shook as if trying to wrestle himself free from the titanic grip holding him, his eyes and face, red from anger and exertion. But like a rodent who found himself within the maw of a great eagle, he could do nothing to free himself.

"I'm only going to say this once and only once." The small blue woman said," whenever I ask you a question and you don't answer it to my satisfaction the big guy over here." She pointed to the behemoth manhandling him" Will tear off the limb of his choice."

"So, let's start with something simple. Who are you to victor Donovan?"

Rig didn't answer at first, his pride and ego overriding his survival instincts, but all it took was a simple squeeze on his extended arm to convince him of his folly.

"He's ...my father."

"See, not so hard right, keep this up and you might get a gold star out of all this." The fairy said, her tone just as pleasant as it was when she spoke to her, but the look on her face showed nothing but disdain for the pained man before her." Now, what did you mean about that girl over there." the blue spirit said pointing to her still frozen form. "not being a person?"

The man looked between the small blue woman and her giant green companion, before obeying the order. "She's a clone, made from the DNA from some of the best fighters in the world to help create a perfect weapon," he said, a cruel smirk plastered on the half of his face that still resembled a person.

A strange look crossed the face of the blue spirit, and the look of disdain shifted to one of complete and utter loathing.

"Why?" she said, her voice holding none of the pleasantness it once held, now so harsh it could cut like a knife. Rig gargled, his eyes widening slightly as he realized the danger his words had put him in. The seconds between the spirits question and Rigs awaiting the answer, felt like they would last forever.

"Why," the spirit said again if it were possible her tone somehow grew harder than before." Would you do such a thing?"

"Because we could." came the answer.

The green giant didn't seem to like the answer.

Like a strike of lightning, so abrupt and so fast she could barely see it happen, Rig was catapulted to the wall on the opposite end of the abanded lab, his body turning whatever piece of equipment it landed on into an explosion of debris and broken shrapnel. A blow such as that should have been enough to end Rigs life, but she knew from experience that her master's son was much too prideful and spiteful to meet his end in such a way.

"Well," The Spirit said," I guess you were right about Victor Donovan."

She stood still, not knowing what would happen after that show of violence. every instinct programmed into her body was screaming at her to defend her creator's son, to defend the research her master desired. But she couldn't do it, a nagging voice from the back of her head telling her to stay where she was.

"So, what are we going to do about her?" the blue spirit said, her voice cutting the tension in the room like a

"What do you suggest?"

"we can't leave her here all alone." the blue goddess said, looking up at her massive companion, her tone of voice allowing little discussion in the matter.

"We can't take her with us, she's a civilian." the giant said simply, his tone of voice showing that he was well used to whatever the small spirit was trying to accomplish.

"She a civilian who can shoot plasma from her hands and can teleport, I think she'll be fine."

"It doesn't matter..." while the giant's voice hardly changed, she thought she could hear a faint sigh prior to his response, for what reason she did not know.

"Why doesn't that matter?!" The goddess said, turning her entire body towards the towering figure, completely ignoring her as the two continued their conversation.

... A conversation about her...

"Um excuse me?" Were they going to take her with them? Was... this her chance to escape the life of a weapon?

"We can't risk it, she may.."

"Don't finish that sentence, you heard the same things I heard..."

"Excuse me?" she tried again to regain their attention, her excitement momentarily overriding her confusion.

"Why are you such a man!?"

"I don't even know what that is supposed to mean."

"That's the problem!"

"Excuse me?" she spoke louder, her voice cracking from the slight strain. This was the first time she raised her voice above its normal octave outside of battle. It felt...good. In a strange tingly way, she could quite put into words. Whatever she did though it worked, as both figures turned away from one another and looked towards her.

"I-I would like to go with you." She said simply, watching a knowing smile grow on the face of the small blue goddess as she turned back to her giant companion.

"Well that settles it doesn't it."

"I don't know how you could..."

"Well, its two to one in our favor so it's settled."

"Cortona."

"It's settled."

"...Fine"

The Blue spirit disappeared but not before giving her a warm smile, the scornful look on her face she held when she was speaking to Rig long since gone. It made her feel...good for some reason.

The massive figure walked towards her, picking the piece of metal the goddess came from in its massive hand before looking down at her.

"What's your name?" the giant said to her, his voice never once changing octaves throughout the conversation.

Her name?

She shrugged her shoulders, half of her reasoning because she didn't have an answer to his question, and the other half of her feeling too overwhelmed to even trust her voice to work properly. Whether the tall figure knew of her inner turmoil or not, it was kind enough to accept her response with a nod of his head, before motioning her to follow him.

For a moment she didn't move, too afraid that any sudden movement would prove to her that this was all a dream. The voice of her master demanding her to obey his orders, willing her to remain where she was. The Master who claimed her entire existence was to serve. The same master that had said she was the ultimate weapon, a warrior without peer and the future of warfare.

He had also said she wasn't a she, but an "It". A tool created to be used for whatever her owners wanted to use her for, and the first in a long line of similar automation. He said she would know nothing of the fragility of humanity and know nothing but victory in battle.

But she had lost.

And if she could be defeated in battle, then her master was wrong. And if her master was wrong about that then what else was he wrong about?

With one last look at the unconscious body of her creator's spawn, she steeled herself and followed after the surprisingly quiet footsteps that lead her to a new life.


-Hong Kong, Three Days Later-

Jann Lee was not in the greatest of moods

When Kasumi came to him, going so far as to ask him to help her kill, not fight mind you, not stop, not even rough up just for shits and giggles, but to kill Victor Donovan, Lee knew for better or worse his life was going to get exciting.

Fending for his life against the leader of a shadow organization, whose hands were in everything from ninja clans, to third world dictatorships, sounded like the perfect way to work out whatever ring rust he gained from in-between tournaments, and if even a fraction of what he heard from the petit kunoichi was right, that meant his days spent languishing in the slums of his hometown dealing with bums and wannabes would be over.

Oh god. How wrong he was.

He was promised nonstop action. He was promised as much challenge as he could get. HE WAS PROMISED A DECENT FIGHT FOR ALL OF HIS TROUBLES!

But here he was, poolside at some luxury hotel in the part of Hong Kong he normally wouldn't be caught dead in, watching a bunch of men in cheap suits watching another man in an expensive suit has a lunch meeting with EVEN MORE men in expensive suits.

Jann lee silently brooded as he chugged another one of those fruity alcoholic drinks with the small umbrellas that the tourists around him seemed to drink exclusively while enjoying themselves at the pool, slamming the now empty glass down at the bar with enough force to cause the scrawny bartender to jump nearly a foot off the ground in surprise. Between the excessive waiting and watching he was forced to do and the listening to the vapid discussions from the mouths of overfeed and overprivileged trust fund babies as they drank and tried flirting with women who seemed to either want nothing to do with them or pretended to want something to do with them in order to get free drinks that were forced upon him, Jann Lee was just about ready to snap.

Why did he agree to help Kasumi again?

"Why did I agree to help you again Kasumi?" The brash martial artist asked, with much more heat then he intended. But if the redhead felt offended she hid the emotion well. Which in retrospect shouldn't have surprised Lee as much as it did, with her being a trained ninja and all that?

Kasumi lowered her sunglasses, baring the full intensity of her glare at the much taller man, unnerving the young Chinese man more then he would willingly admit to anyone. The short women's piercing stare contradicted her sunny and bright appearance in an almost comical fashion. With her bright floral pink sundress coupled with one of those oversized straw hats that almost every other woman within a square mile seemed to be wearing, one wouldn't be faulted in assuming the compact assassin in front of him was just another of the many vacationers that flooded the hotel in its summer months, and certainly not the trained killer she actually was.

She sighed for what had to be the tenth time since this intel gathering mission began. While Jann Lee had many positive traits (or so Kasumi assumed, considering lie fan feelings towards the man), subtly and patience was not among them. Despite what the Jeet Kune Do fighter had first assumed, the way of the ninja was far from how it was portrayed in those action movies that littered his apartment. Most ninja missions were less about killing your target from shadows and more about gathering information while hiding in plain sight. Which seemed like it needed to be explained to Jann Lee more than once.

"We're here to gather information of Donovan's allies"

"We need to keep our distance."

"We can't just randomly assault people."

"Could you at least TRY and blend in?"

"Jann, please stop banging your head against the table. People are beginning to stare."

"The man in the black suit," Kasumi said, "in the center of the table, he works with Donovan, he's head of the largest private military company in the world."

Even Jane Lee was aware enough of what Kasumi meant when she said a Private military company. Mercenaries, this guy was nothing more than a modern-day warlord with a personal army that was ready to sell its services to the highest bidder.

Said warlord seemed to be in a meeting of some sort, with a hand full of who he had to assume were other 100 percent "legitimate" businessmen in a sectioned off part of the hotel, all the while a dozen or so armed men looked on with emotionless masks. Most of the men seemed to be ex-soldiers themselves if the concealed weapons and their general appearance were any indications.

The four other men, each one looking more Weasley then the last, sat at one end of the table taking turns reporting to the lone man at the tables head, who Kasumi was eager to remind him was a member of Donovan's inner circle.

Despite the importance, Kasumi placed on the man, he certainly didn't look like someone who stood out from the crowd, at least in Jann Lees opinion. He looked so... well, he looked average.

He was a slightly balding middle-aged man of average height, with a build that while not as muscular as his bodyguards, Jann Lee couldn't exactly call him slender. His face was gaunt and somber, with no emotion showing on his pale face, but despite Kasumi's reassurances to the contrary, He looked like every other middle-aged businessman he had ever met in his life, average height, average build, average looking. The man was so aggressively plain and average, Jann had to fight to keep his eyes open when he was looking at him.

Jann Lee was about to vocalize his discomfort once again when a familiar face entered his vision. A familiar face that made his blood boil from the sight of her.

Her dark skin and white hair contrasted from the mob of people around her, but it was the almost animal like gaze from her eyes Jann Lee noticed first, Like a massive jungle cat stalking prey within the brush of the jungle. She sauntered towards the table of businessmen and sat down upon the lone empty chair, seated directly across from the lead man.

"Christie..." JaneLeee growled, his body rigid and his heart rate increases at the sight of the female assassin. Kasumi's grip on his shoulder the only thing keeping him from confronting the "murderous bitch" right then and there.

"What did I say about assaulting people?" Kasumi harshly whispered into his ear, her tone cutting through him like a knife through silk. "Do you ever listen?"

Despite Jann Lee's frustration, he could see the two of them were making a minor scene for their audience of tourists. He could clearly hear mutterings "problems in paradise." and "lovers quarls" from throughout the mob of the bathing suit-clad populace, but couldn't find it in him to care, not with the psyhco for hire so close.

"But..." Jane Lee said, looking from Kasumi and towards the back of Christie, trying to find the words that would convince Kasumi to let him go, but finding his confidence shaken from the steel from her stare and the iron in her voice.

" . .OBSERVE." Kasumi said, pronouncing each and every word with deliberate force to illustrate her own frustration at the moment. The deadly seriousness of the small teenaged ninja's voice seemed to sap whatever anger erupted out from Jane Lee, leaving him somewhat numb from the petite girl's mood swing.

He had forgotten the fact that while the girl in front of him was both a head shorter than him and several years his junior, she was a trained killer. One who had spent her entire life training to take the lives of those who stood against her and her clan. He remembered now and seeing the hard look of her eyes staring at him, Jane Lee questioned how he could have forgotten.

She let go of him at that moment, turning away from him and back towards the meeting happening a dozen or so yards away. Jane Lee followed noticing that the men had paid them little mind despite the audience they had attracted.

The four men looked far more nervous now than they previously did before the hitwoman's entrance, one looking as if he would pass out from under the combined stare of the English woman and his employer. The man in charge, who had looked so average to jane lee a moment ago, now bore into the clearly smiling face of Christie, his eyes looking almost lizard-like in the summer sun.

The last time I saw eyes like this they were attached to the shark from Jaws.

"Christie is here to speak on Donovan's behalf." Kasumi started. Her voice returning to its normal tone, toying with the still untouched strawberry daiquiri in front of her" He's been staying at this hotel for several days. Ever since he loaned out the use of a considerable bulk of his mercenary force to Donovan."

"something is going to happen very soon, and we're going to find out what."

"He doesn't look too happy." Jane Lee said, seeing the unbridled fury in the quiet man's eyes as he sat silently listening to whatever the British hitwoman was saying.

If looks could kill that chick would be six feet under before I could finish my drink.

"No one who works with Donovan is "happy" about it." Kasumi said, once again lifting her drink to her lips and pretending to take another sip." They are either forced to do business with him, or they're the type of person who isn't happy unless they make other people suffer."

Jann Lee didn't respond, knowing full well that Kasumi would know far better about the type of people this Donovan guy surrounded himself with, and that from the look on Kasumi's face she wasn't in the mood to continue with the conversation.

His annoyance must have shown on his face as the scrawny bartender from before decided that now was the perfect moment to make his appearance known, as he walked towards the frustrated fighter and offered to refill his glass.

He chugged the far too sweet beverage, finishing it with a single chug and continued to brood. all the while thinking to himself as to why he had decided to help Kasumi with her fool's errand, so lost in his thoughts he could help to control his mouth before the words left them.

"Why did I agree to help you again Kasumi?"


So apparently a couple of people complained to mods about this story, claiming that it violates the site's terms of service or whatever. I was told in private messages that I had nothing to worry about, but I may start posting chapters of both my stories on Ao3 just in case.

Funny story, since updating this story it was discovered I had a tumor the size of a golf ball attached to my thyroid. Thankfully it wasn't cancer, but then I was struck by a car in a hit and run incident.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I appreciate how many people generally like this story, ( as well as my Captain America story) and I really am trying to update these in a speedy matter, but life like so many things is a fucking weird thing when you're an adult.

So Enjoy, leave a review, and maybe, I don't know, try not to get me kicked off this site? that would be cool.