Hey guys. A little different this time. This one occurs sometime after the Lewis saga but before the trial. Nick blames Amanda, causing her to have a meltdown. Since I love Dana Lewis I brought her into this one to help Amanda. Hope yall enjoy.
Dana Lewis watched with concern as Amanda Rollins became more overstimulated by the minute. She was helping the team with a case that related to terrorism and Amanda had bonded with her, much to Olivia's amusement and happiness. However, the blonde was currently on the verge of a meltdown. Everything was just so bright and God, it was so loud. Why wouldn't it just stop.
Amanda suddenly began tapping her pencil against the stack of files she was working on, much to Nick's annoyance.
"Can you fucking stop?" He snaps and Amanda looks towards the voice, tears gathering in her eyes.
She doesn't understand why Nick is suddenly so angry with her. She supposes it's because of the whole Lewis fiasco but she hoped they would've resolved that by now, but apparently not. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." She responds quietly and he knows she's not just apologizing for the pencil but for what happened to Olivia and he's so tired of that. It wouldn't change anything.
"Look, I don't care how sorry you are. You did this. Do you not get that? If you hadn't been so desperate to collar him, he wouldn't have kidnapped Liv." He snaps and her eyes widen, trying to process everything.
"Wouldn't have kidnapped Liv. Don't understand. My job." She whispered and Dana watched with concern, wondering if she should tell Craigen, Nick's next words igniting a fury and protectiveness in her she hadn't felt in years.
"You don't understand? I'll tell you. It shouldn't have been Liv. Lewis should've taken you." He snaps before leaving the room. Remembering Olivia's warnings of not touching her, Dana slowly approached her, doing her best to tamp down the anger running through her, knowing Amanda didn't need that right now and picking up the blonde's headphones from Olivia's desk as she walked by. Amanda stared at the papers in front of her, but all she could focus on was the pounding in her head and how the lights were just so bright. A sob escaped her mouth as Nicks words played on a loop in her head. Looking around, she began to panic when she didn't see Olivia, but she suddenly calmed upon seeing the FBI profiler approaching her. Without giving her actions a second thought, she rose from her chair and walked closer to the southern profiler and hesitantly placed a small hand over Dana's, relaxing slightly at the contact but the tears continued falling from her eyes. She never wanted Liv to get hurt. Lewis had taken her. No one knew he would do that. She just wished Nick could understand that. Without warning another sob escaped her mouth and before she knew it, she was sobbing so hard she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Dana was momentarily surprised but recovered quickly, giving her a smile.
"Hey, sugar. Do you need a break?" She questioned gently, already knowing the answer as she felt Amanda's small hand tighten in hers.
"Do you need a break? Do you need a break? Yes. Yes. Yes. Break." She responded through her tears, a whine leaving her mouth.
"What is it, sugar?"
Amanda opened her mouth, but no words came out. Sighing in frustration, she tried once more but still, no words came out. She slowly began to sign, hoping the profiler could understand.
"Pressure. I need pressure. Liv."
"You need Olivia?" Dana asked and Amanda shook her head.
"My fault. Liv." She signed as her sobs became almost screams. Nodding in understanding, Dana lead her into Craigen's empty office and took a seat with her on the leather sofa that was against the far wall. Then, she carefully gathered the blonde detective in her arms and placed her headphones over her ears as she held her tight.
"This was not your fault. Do you understand? Liv doesn't blame you and I need you to remember that." She explained as Amanda buried her head into her jacket, still continuing to sob.
"Shhh, sugar. You're ok. I've got you." Dana whispered, carefully removing Amanda's headphones, knowing she couldn't see her.
"My fault. My fault. My fault." She began repeating, her voice rising to a scream as she rose from the sofa and began pacing around the room as she began repeatedly slamming her fist against her head. Before Dana could act Craigen burst through the door, having heard all the noise and frowned when he saw Amanda's continued hitting.
"Dana? What happened." He questioned and she began signing rapidly, Craigen's face becoming more livid the more she signed.
"Take care of her." He said before leaving the room and she nods, moving towards the blonde detective, not entirely sure what to do. All she knew was that Amanda was harming herself.
"Hey, sugar. Can you stop hitting? You're hurting yourself."She tried but Amanda just shook her head, beginning to bang it into the wall behind her.
"My fault. My fault." She repeated once more as Dana carefully placed a pillow behind her head. This, however did not go well with Amanda and she attempted to lash out at the profiler, but Dana was quicker and gently restrained her as she began speaking softly.
"Amanda, I need you to calm down and listen to me. I'll help you, but you need to stop. That's enough. I understand you're very upset right now, but you harming yourself or me won't help." She explained.
"My fault." She shrieked again, this time trying to get out of the profiler's grip.
"Do you need Olivia, sugar?" She questioned, not sure what to do at this point. This statement only seemed to set her off once more and she let out a frustrated growl.
"Get. The. Fuck. Out." She suddenly hissed and Dana's eyes widened, shocked by the words that had just come out of the Georgia detective's mouth. However, she didn't let her surprise show. Amanda needed her and she'd be damned if she was leaving, especially with the self-destructive behavior currently taking place.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that, not with the way you're acting right now. If I leave you'll hurt yourself, and Olivia would never forgive me if I left you alone." She explained as Amanda let out another shriek.
"Get out. Hates me."
"Olivia?" She questioned and Amanda nodded, continuing to struggle.
"No, sugar. She doesn't hate you. You can askher yourself if you don't believe me." She explained as the blonde's struggles slowly stopped and the post-meltdown sobs started.
She gentlly released her and removed the pillow, glad that meltdown had passed. She just hated she couldn't have prevented it. Putting those feelings aside she gathered her close and kissed the top of Amanda's head.
"Come on, sugar. Try to relax and calm down."She encouraged, beginning to rock her slowly as Amanda's hand went into her mouth.
"No, baby. Use this instead." She said, handing her a chew necklace which Amanda surprisingly took.
"There you go. You're ok. I've got you." She cooed as Amanda cuddled closer, a hand desperately gripping the profiler's jacket, terrified she'd leave her.
"I'm not going anywhere, sugar. This is not your fault. I promise. You're one of the best detectives I've ever known and you were doing your job when you arrested that son of a bitch." She said as Amanda nodded but still continued to cry.
"Close your eyes and take a little nap. You're exhausted. I'll hold you until Liv gets back."
"No. Stay." She signed and Dana nodded, just glad she was able to help.
"Hmmm." The blonde said quietly, finally beginning to relax despite the fact Olivia wasn't helping her. She was learning to trust someone outside of her circle and she was surprisingly ok.
"You ok there, sugar?" Dana signed and Amanda nodded, wrapping her arms around the profiler, suddenly tensing and fearfully looking at Dana upon hearing the loud shouting coming from the squad room, realizing it was Nick and Craigen.
"Shh. You're ok. He isn't mad at you." Dana whispered, slowly beginning to stroke the blonde head resting on her chest, just above her heart, and she smiled when Amanda let out a sound of happiness, ear pressing more firmly against her chest.
"You wanna tell me what you were thinking? You know she's autistic and you leave it up to Dana Lewis to help her." Craigen yells and Nick rolls his eyes.
"She needs to learn to be normal. She doesn't need a fucking babysitter. I mean really, how does Liv even allow her to live with her with all her routines. We can't even go to a restaurant without her freeking out because she eats the same stuff." He rants as Craigen glares at him, sighing in relief when he looks through his office window and sees Dana securely holding Amanda in her arms and he just prays she can keep her calm. The last thing they need is Amanda becoming more upset.
"Oh, and by the way, what the hell were you thinking telling her Lewis should've taken her?" He growled and right at that moment, Olivia returns having heard her captains words.
"You did what?" She says dangerously, eyes widening upon seeing Amanda in Craigen's office with Dana.
"I told her the truth." He says and Olivia gives him a murderous glare before turning to her captain.
"I want a change of partner. Either I work with Amanda or I'm done." She says before quietly entering the office.
"How is she? I've got it if-"
"No. No. No." Amanda screamed and the profiler held her closer.
"Shhh. I'm not leaving you. I'll stay right here. Try to go back to sleep. Liv is here too."
"Liv. Sorry. Sorry. Kidnapped. Got you kidnapped." She whispered as tears began falling from her eyes once more.
"No, baby. Nick was wrong. You didn't do that, not at all." She explained, sharing a look with Dana and gently covering her with a blanket.
"Meltdown?" The brunette whispers and Dana nods.
"Pretty bad one. She told me to get the fuck out." The profiler explained and Olivia winses, shocked she'd spoken that way to her.
"I'm sorry. She usually doesn't act like that unless she's very angry."
"Oh, don't worry about it, honey. We made it just fine."
"Thank you." Came a small voice and the two women smiled when they saw a much calmer Amanda looking at them.
"You're welcome."
"Are you ok now, baby?" Liv asked and she nodded as she briefly made eye contact with Dana.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I was just really sad. Why just him." She questioned and it broke both women's hearts.
"It's ok, Amanda. We made it through.was She responded before continuing.
"I have no idea why he is the only one who thinks that,but he is. Neither Liv or myself think that and that's what's important." She said with a smile as Craigen entered the room.
"How are you doing, Amanda?" Craigen asked softly and the blonde shrugged.
"You'll be working with Liv for the time being." He explained and she shook her head.
"Fin."
"Fin will work with Nick. Olivia would like you to workwith her." He explains and watches as she processes the information.
"How about that, sugar." Dana says and Amanda's smile widens.
"How about that." She echos and Liv lets out a chuckle, knowing Amanda will be alright.
