Chapter 58: No More Secrets

Early morning. Walking down the stairs to the front door.

Monika's Father: "Leaving now?" Stopping in place when she heard her dad's voice.

Monika: "Yes, there's a lot of work to be done for the Festival and the Election."

Monika's Father: "I see, well I hope things go well then."

Monika: "Hm?" Her eyes widen a bit.

Monika's Mother: "Leaving for school now?" She says walking through the hallways to her.

Monika: "Yes …"

Monika's Mother: "I hear your school is going to hold an election after Zackary is gone."

Monika: "Yeah, all of the Council members will be participating."

Monika's Mother: "Then I expect you to win. If you can't win against Zackary you might as well beat everyone else."

Monika: "Yes Mother."

Monika's Mother: "Try not to be a disappointment." She turns away from her daughter.

Monika: "Yes mam." She leaves for school.

Later during lunch after getting away from her adoring fans. Monika quietly makes her way into the school's library. The silent calming atmosphere soothed her soul as she finally had space to think to herself.

Monika: (Oh lord. Finally peace and quiet. Why did the school have to announce the Election today? Because of them I had to deal with a lot of members of the News Paper Club and questions from the other students. Well I'm glad the library remains open during lunch hours. I can rest easy for now before I get back out there.)

Yuri: "Monika?"

Monika: "Yuri?" They both whisper to each other.

Yuri: "What brings you here? You're one to never appear here?"

Monika: "Just needed space from the crowd. You heard the announcement right?"

Yuri: "Indeed I have. I, I hope you do well." She bows.

Monika: "Thanks for the support, but … never mind that. What about you? Are you here to study?"

Yuri: "Yes, my class has a test later today, so I'm doing preparations for it."

Monika: "I see now, well I know you'll do well, you always do."

Yuri: "Y-you don't have to n-nice about it."

Monika: "No I mean it. Your grades are always up there in the top ten. I'm just surprised you're not a member of the Council."

Yuri: "Y-you flatter me, b-but I'm not much of a leader. P-plus I doubt I would do a good job."

Monika: (Never has confidence about herself. Despite having potential. I'm quiet jealous at how cute she is when she's embarrassed. Her grades are always up there in the high ranks. Matter of fact she beats me by ten points. The only one smarter than her is Zack as for me I'm just under her and yet her parents praise her. I may have not met them that long, but just by looking at them.

I can see that they are a caring bunch. Caring parents that support her and her decisions. I wish I had parents like that. Parents who would do the same for me. She's so lucky.) She clenches her hands. (Lucky, so very lucky to have it all. Why does she get to have it all? Why does she get to have a loving family and I don't? Why does she have … Why? Why does she get to spend so much time with him? Why can't that be me? Why does she love him? Why does he have to love her? It's not fair.)

Yuri: "Monika? Are you not well?"

Monika: "Yuri …"

Yuri: "Y-yes?"

Monika: "Can I ask you something?"

Yuri: "W-well sure you can."

Monika: "Do … Do have …" The bell rings ending today's lunch.

Yuri: "Oh it's time already."

Monika: "Yeah" She says disappointingly.

Yuri: "What was it you were about to ask?"

Monika: "Nothing, I'll see you later at the club."

Yuri: "S-sure" She watches as she leaves. (Monika, so head strong, so determined, so athletic, so beautiful. She's everything I wish I could be. Instead I'm everything but a freak. A weirdo no one ever wants to be near with. I wish I could be her. She's so lucky. She's everything he deserves. What could I offer? Nothing. Monika is the better choice there's no way around it. I'm better off being alone. That is my fate.)

Later that same day. Sitting alone on his seat while everyone does their own thing. With only a piece of paper in front of him and a pen in his right. Not moving an inch as the ink bleed into the blank paper leaving behind a big black puddle.

Michael: (What the hell should I wright? Why is this so hard!? Come on dude think harder. The Festival is coming up and I need to think of a poem to write. Come on think, think!)

Yuri: "M-Michael are doing okay?" He snaps out of his thoughts.

Michael: "Oh sorry, I didn't notice you were standing there."

Yuri: "Is everything well?"

Michael: "Yeah a bit. Just thinking about what I should write for the Festival. You know for the performance and all?" She looks down at his not so blank paper to see a huge puddle of ink. "Well better get going now." He moves his hand and … "Well crap. I ran out of ink." He tries to laugh it off. (Kill me.)

Yuri: "I-if you like, you could borrow my pen." She hands him one nervously.

Michael: "Well that's very kind of you. I'll do my best not to waste its ink."

Yuri: "I'm grateful to be of service." She smiles cutely.

Michael: "For now it's best if I take a break. Can't work if I'm stressed right?"

Yuri: "That is correct." He pulls out his volume of Berserk. "That Manga again."

Michael: "Yeah, just thought going to this fantasy world might help me relax, even though I doubt this would help at all given its content?"

Yuri: "I-if it's alright if you, m-may I j-join you?"

Michael: "Well if you want go on ahead."

Yuri: "Th-thank you very much." She smiles brightly which caused him to blush. After getting the seats ready. The both of them began reading the next chapter. As they read, Yuri unable to see well on certain panels caused her to scoot closer to him.

With the two of them so invested in the story and art, the both of them were completely unaware that they are practically arm and arm like a couple sitting on a bench. While they read, Monika looks on from the teachers desk, but choosing to ignore it went back to doing her own work.

"This story is quite good." She breaks the ice.

Michael: "You like it?"

Yuri: "Yes, I love the concept and I understand where the Main Character is coming from."

Michael: "Figured you would."

Yuri: "Hm?"

Michael: "Berserk's story telling is very similar to your books. I had a feeling you would understand it's true concept."

Yuri: "Y-you flatter me." She turns red.

Monika: "It's time to share poems!"

Michael: "It's time to start practicing."

Yuri: "Y-yes, I-I hope I do well."

Michael: "Let's hope the both of us do well." He smiles to her.

Yuri: "Yes let's."

Monika: "…"

Later after all five of them finished sharing each other's poems.

Sayori: "Oh man, I got a lot of work to do if I'm going to perform with this poem."

Natsuki: "Yeah, but yours isn't as bad as Michael's." She shivers.

Sayori: "I think he's the most nervous out of all of us. Yuri on the other hand is talented. MC is well … he's getting there."

Natsuki: "Yeah better than his first attempt. My have they grown." Sayori looks over to see Michael talking to Monika.

Michael: "Man this is hard."

Monika: "Don't feel bad. It's better than the rest that you did, so I say you aren't far behind."

Michael: "I guess so?"

Yuri: "M-Michael, i-if you like I could assist you?"

Michael: "Well …"

Monika: "… I say take it. Out of all of us, I say she's the most experienced."

Michael: "Well if you say so? Ok then." He smiles nervously as both girls stand close to him. (What is going on here?)

Sayori: "Uh, should we help?"

Natsuki: "It's best that we don't. I have a bad feeling we're make it worst."

Sayori: "Yeah I guess you're right." (Stay strong MC. I'll support you all the way … from behind the scenes.) In other words nothing, cause of lazy writing.

While club activities end. On the other side of town.

Johnny: "I did what you told me. We had a deal so hand it over."

Sara: "Fine, fine. Here." She hands him a bag.

Johnny: "What do you plan with all this?"

Sara: "Oh nothing much for you to worry. I gave you what you want, so you might want to get going."

Johnny: "Tsk! Whatever." Him and his friend Ronald leave.

Ronald: "Are you sure about all this?"

Johnny: "I am. Is the info you have right?"

Ronald: "Yes, I spied on the Literature Club and found out that they are planning to do a Poetry Performance again."

Johnny: "Perfect, then everything is going the way I want it."

Ronald: "You sure you want this? If you go through with this you'll be expelled."

Johnny: "I just don't care anymore. I already lost everything. I lost my family, I lost my position, I lost my dignity. He humiliated me, both him and his dad. What else do I have to lose?" Ronald doesn't say a word. "I can count on you right?"

Ronald: "Yeah, no matter what, I'll be by your side. We're like brothers after all. We both grew up at the orphanage."

Johnny: "Good" (Connor, I'll make you pay for your crimes and your dad's. I swear it.)

Ronald: (Is this right? Is it right to take our anger out on someone who did nothing but be born with the same blood as the sinner? I don't know anymore? If I hate him or not?)

The next day, early morning. Tying her white bow. Monika prepares herself for school. After gathering her belongings and heading downstairs.

Monika's Mother: "Leaving now are we?" Her daughter stops in place.

Monika: "I am. Today a lot of my fellow students will be asking me and the other Council Members questions for the election."

Monika's Mother: "Well you better give them a proper answer. None of that nonsense about being fair or good luck crap." Monika clenches her hands. "You better win being President. You've already disappointed me enough."

Monika: "Stop" She whispers.

Monika's Mother: "You've already made too many mistakes. Leaving the Debate Club for something childish."

Monika: "Stop it."

Monika's Mother: "Quitting your lessons."

Monika: "I said …"

Monika's Mother: "But your biggest mistake was breaking up with Todd."

Monika: "I said stop!"

Monika's Mother: "What was that child?"

Monika: "Do you ever stop insulting me! Do you ever stop looking down on me! All I ever do is disappoint you! No matter how hard I work, no matter hard I try, you're never satisfied!"

Monika's Mother: "How dare you raise your voice at me." Her husband overhears them.

Monika: "You never cared about me, you never once praised me, not even a thumbs up! All you ever do is force me to work, work, work!" Starts crying. "I still remember what you said to me when I was a child." *Sniff*

Monika's Mother: "…That's the truth."

Monika: "!"

Monika's Mother: "You're nothing more but a disappointment. I never asked for you. I asked for a son, but instead I got you. A disgrace who can't do anything right. If you turned out to be a boy then you could have easily defeated Zackary. Instead you failed me."

Monika: "What is wrong with you? Why is this so important to you? Why do you hate your sister so much? Why should me and Zack have to suffer your stupid rivalry!"

*Slap*

Monika's Mother: "Don't you dare talk to me like that. This rivalry has everything to do with you. Do you have any idea what your aunt did to me? Always favored, always successful, always so damn annoying. My sister always had a one up over me. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of it all, and I'm sick of you. You should've been a boy, instead I got some tramp who does nothing but play around. You should have never been born."

Monika: "I hate you, I hate you so much. I wish you were never my mother!" She storms out of the house in tears.

Monika's Mother: "Useless daughter of mine."

Monika's Father: "…"

[Everybody's Fool by Evanescence]

Student: "Hey so what do you have plan when you win?"

Student 2: "What do you plan on doing if your president?"

Student 3: "Can you make changes for this school?"

Patty: "W-well …"

Leo: "Hey now one at a time."

Wyatt: "For the last time no, it's not going to happen."

Todd: "What a foolish question."

More and more question asked by the student body. One after the other as some ready themselves for the Festival.

Zackary: "Who do I want to win? Well that's a tough question, but I'm sure whoever the school picks will do a great job."

Walking down the halls as more and more people gather around asking questions. Cornered by the students with no space for herself. Being forced to answer all their questions, Monika tries her best to get away from the crowd as they kept on coming. While she gets all the attention she never asked for, in the stalls on the other side of school. Heavy breathing can heard only for a rush of water to come after.

Yuri: "Why am I like this? " She says as she splashes more onto her face. "Disgusting" While she washes the shame, out in the open of the plaza.

Sayori: (I wonder where MC is?) She looks to her phone for a response. (He told me he need space, but why? I knew I should've stayed with him. He's been acting weird for a while now. Every night he would randomly scream, he would toss n turn a lot, and in the mornings wake up all sweaty. I didn't even count how many times I had to do the laundry for him. I'm worried.) She looks up at the sky.

While staring up as more and more students appear. In the nurses office laying on the bed. Lost in thought.

"You miss it. You miss me. You miss it all."

More and more negative thoughts fill his head as he tries to sleep.

"You love the pain, you love me."

Michael: "Tsk!" (Get out of my head.) He turns to his side. (Why am I feeling this way again? I made the right decision in leaving her and yet … why can't I forget her?) He finally shuts his eyes to rest.

Later on after school has finally ended and students leave for home.

Sayori: "Are you alright MC?" She says as they walk down the halls.

Michael: "Not really, just feeling exhausted."

Sayori: "Do you want to head home?"

Michael: "No I don't want to miss today. I'll be fine."

Sayori: "Come on MC let's just skipped today. I won't be able to take you home today since we have a bit of a family emergency."

Michael: "How's your grandma doing?"

Sayori: "My mom said she's doing fine. I take you to see her, but the hospital is only allowing family members."

[Song Ends]

Michael: "I'll be fine. I can take care of myself. When club activities are over I'll head straight home ok?"

Sayori: "Well ok, but you better not get into any more trouble."

Michael: "I'll think about it."

Sayori: "MC" She says with an annoyed tone.

Michael: "Fine I'll do it."

Sayori: "Good." He pets him. "When I finish seeing my grandma I'll come by with dinner."

Michael: "Ok"

Sayori: "I'll see you then." She walks down the opposite.

Michael: "Take care and say hi for me."

Sayori: "Will do." They both waved to each other as she leaves for the hospital and Michael leaves for the club.

At the club.

Yuri: "…"

Natsuki: "Are you alright?"

Yuri: "Hm?"

Natsuki: "I'll take that as a no."

Yuri: "S-sorry, I'm doing well."

Natsuki: "Really now? Then how about you explain that then." She points at Yuri's book and realized that she's holding it upside down again.

Yuri: "Oh dear." Using the book to cover her face.

Natsuki: "Something bothering you?"

Yuri: "N-no, it's nothing really."

Natsuki: "Hmph! If you say so." She leaves to the other side of class to do her own reading.

Yuri: (Was she actually worried about me? She has changed. She's changed for the better, all of them and here I am who remained the same.) Her pen rolls off her desk. "Oh dear." She attempts to pick it up, but someone beat her to it.

Michael: "You need to be more careful. I might slip if I stepped on it." He smiles warmly to her.

Yuri: "S-sorry, I'm just out of it today."

Michael: "You want to talk about it?"

Yuri: "N-no, I'll be fine. Thank you for asking."

Michael: "Very well then." He attempts to leave

Yuri: "Where is Sayori?" He stops in place.

Michael: "Oh yeah she had to leave for a family emergency."

Yuri: "Is everything alright?"

Michael: "It is, but she wanted to see it for herself."

Yuri: "I see, well I hope everything will go well for her."

Michael: "Me too." He looks at her desk. "Is that a new book?"

Yuri: "Yes it is. My father just got it recently and gave it to me."

Michael: "That was nice of him."

Yuri: "Uhm … M-Michael." She starts playing with her purple hair.

Michael: "Yeah?"

Yuri: "D-do you by chance …"

Michael: "Do you want to see more of it?"

Yuri: "Y-yes please, if that's okay with you?"

Michael: "Do you think you can help with the desks?"

Yuri: "Yes, allow me." She gets the desks set up for the two of them and they sit next to each other as always.

Michael: "Ready?" He opens to the next chapter.

Yuri: "Yes" And they both read together. (Why? Why is it that whenever I'm with him, I feel at peace? When I'm with him I can feel all the stress be lifted away? I don't want to be with him. I want him to be happy, I want him to find someone better than me. I don't want to be a burden, but … I want this forever.) She leans next to him closer, but not too close as they continue to read.

Monika: *Sigh* (That was a pain. None stop questions after questions. I barely had time for myself. Hell I couldn't even get to the library for peace and quiet.)

"You should've been a boy, instead I got some tramp who does nothing but play around. You should have never been born."

(I never asked for this. What kind of person was I in a past life to deserve this? Focus Monika, you have a club to attend to.) She looks at her phone. (I'm super late today. I would've been here sooner, but the crowd wouldn't let me go until the teachers got involved.) She opens the door and saw something that hurt her deep within.

She saw Yuri and Michael together again reading, laughing, enjoying each other's company. (Yuri, Michael. I …) Her heart starts to break. (Why am I feeling sick? They're just reading like always, but why is it bothering me now? No I know why. I always knew, but was too blind.)

Natsuki: "You're late as always."

Monika: "Huh?"

Natsuki: "You're super late. Where have you been?"

Monika: "Sorry, I had to deal with a large crowd today."

Natsuki: "Was it for the election?"

Monika: "Yeah" She looks over to the two again.

Natsuki: "Well I guess I'll cut you a break this time."

Monika: "Thank you." She looks to them again and remained that way until it was time to practice. During that time after hearing about Sayori's family dilemma and practicing their performance. It was time to end todays club meeting.

Natsuki: "You know if you like, I could give you hand?"

Michael: "No I'll be alright."

Natsuki: "You sure?"

Michael: "Yeah I'll be fine. I'll see you later."

Natsuki: "Alright then." They both leave the classroom as Yuri and Monika remain packing their belongings.

Yuri: "I will be taking my leave. I hope you arrive home safely." She bows before leaving.

Monika: "Yeah okay … Yuri." Yuri looks behind herself.

Yuri: "Yes?"

Monika: "We need to talk. You and me."

Yuri: "W-well sure. What would you like to talk about?"

Monika: "I'm sorry." She whispers to herself before facing her. "I'm done with all this."

Yuri: "About what?"

Monika: "I'm done hiding my feelings, so I'm going to say it right here right now. I have a confession to make."

Yuri: "A confession? What are you talking about."

Monika: "I know you feel the same, so no more lies, no more secrets."

Yuri: "Monika, you're not making much sense. What are you trying to say?"

Monika: "I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Michael."

Yuri: "You what?"

[Weight of the World by Saliva]

Alone in an empty room. All students gone from school grounds as the blue sky turns orange. Staring eye to eye, one set purple the other set emerald green.

Monika: "No more secrets, no more stalling. I'm going to be honest with myself with you right now. I'm in love with Michael."

Yuri: "I see." More silence. "When have you had these feelings?"

Monika: "I don't know when exactly, but I fell in love after all our time spent together. When we touched, when he supported me, when he supported you. In the beginning I liked him as a person, as a friend. Yuri, I cared for him even back then when we had class together. I cared for him when he bared his soul.

I wanted to help make him a better man. I defended him to the best of my abilities. I did it all because I cared. I did it cause I wanted him to be happy and in the end, I feel in love. He is the only man to look passed my mask. The mask of a queen, the mask of someone everyone idolized, who thinks she's perfect in every way. He treats me as a normal girl."

Yuri: "I, I see where you're coming from, but why can't you tell him that?" Monika looks to her confused. "You asked me to stay, but for what reason? I'm sure if you tell him he'll happily say yes to you."

Monika: "You don't get it do you?"

Yuri: "About what?"

Monika: "Stupid fool. I know you feel the same for him, so just stop lying and tell me right now. Do you have feelings for him as well?"

Yuri: "I …"

Monika: "I know you do. I'm not stupid!"

Yuri: "M-Monika?" Shocked to see her in such a state.

Monika: "I was so blind that I never noticed. I never noticed that you were in love with him too when it was right there in my face. I fell in love with the same man a friend of mine fell for and you have the audacity to say you don't know or care? Just be honest with yourself. Be honest with me." Yuri starts to remember their kiss in the club room. "Yuri … we both kissed. I kissed him not once, but twice."

Yuri: "Twice?"

Monika: "The first time we kissed it was during New Years. When the clock hit midnight I ran up to him and kissed him."

Yuri: "Y-you kissed him twice?" Her eyes start to go blank.

Monika: "We have. I kissed him again after he woke up from his nap. When he laid his head on my lap, it felt as if we were a couple. I saw him for who he is and kissed him again." Her eyes start to water.

Yuri: "Monika … I … You're right. I love him too. I always had when he supported me that day I ran away."

Monika: "!"

Yuri: "When I ran away after what Natsuki said. Michael was there for me. He supported me and believed in me. When he did that I started feeling something in my heart, but ignored it because I wasn't sure how I really felt, but after everything that has happened. It finally hit me. I love him, I want to be with him, but I could never stand next to him."

Monika: "You …"

Yuri: "I'm happy to know you love him. Now I can rest easy." She puts up a fake smile.

Monika: "Why? Why are you like this?"

Yuri: "…"

Monika: "You, you … you dumbass bitch!" She grabs her by the collars. "Why are acting so happy!? Why aren't you upset with me!? You love him and you just let anyone take him from you! Are you that stupid! Why, why are you so forgiving!? Get angry with me, hate me! I kissed the boy you loved first! Why aren't you hating me or calling me names! I betrayed your trust to make myself happy and you aren't angry with me!? Say something, anything!"

[Song Ends]

She starts crying as Yuri places her hands on her wrist with tears running down her face.

Yuri: "I can't be angry with you because you're my friend." Monika looks to her shocked. "I love him really, but he deserves far better than me. You're so much more prettier than me, you're athletic, charming, and much more active. A life with you is all that he needs to be happy, as for me. I'll just hold him back. I'm just a freak, a weirdo, I have no real talent, no real goal, I'm not confident in myself. I don't deserve him. Which is why I have to let him go.

I love him so much that I'm willing to give up everything for him even if it means giving him up to make sure he has a better future. That is why I am grateful to you. I know you'll treat him well."

Monika: "Yuri" More tears form in her eyes. "To hear you say that. It hurts me. It hurts me. All this time you thought of me like that, but in truth I'm jealous of you. So nice, so understanding, so much more smarter than me, with a heart of gold. I'm jealous of what you have, a family that loves and supports you, no responsibility, no worries. I'm jealous of your normal life. A life I want instead all I ever had is pressure to be a leader, to be what my parents want me to be. I'm just so tired of it."

Yuri hugs her. "I'm an awful person. I always thought I was because I wanted to be with someone that a close friend of mine loves as well. I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I'm so sorry." She continues crying while Yuri holds her.

While they share their feelings with each other. On the other side of town. Making is way home.

"You miss me don't you?"

Walking down the streets in his crutches.

Michael: (Why won't these thoughts just go away already? My life is so much better without her and yet I have these thoughts plaquing my head. It's getting late. Time sure does fly today. I'm usual home before the sun goes down. It's already night. Maybe it's always like that and I never noticed it until now. I'm always walking with Sayori and she takes up all my attention.) He cracks a smile. "!"

"Who goes there." He grips his crutches tighter. (Maybe I should have let Natsuki walk me home? Great.) Sound of footsteps can be heard as he prepares for whatever attack is thrown at him.

?: "My oh my, look at you now, Michael."

Michael: "!" His eyes widen when he heard a familiar voice. Looking behind himself he saw someone from his past.

Sara: "Hey, how have you been lover?"

Michael: "S-Sara?" She smiles.

Sara: "Missed me?"

End of Chapter 58