Ep 10: Screaming Topher / Shipbroken

"Previously… on Total Drama: Bakuhatsu Island…"

Phil rested casually on a vibrant, reclining beach chair, gazing at the breezy ocean in front of his very eyes while planting one foot on the wet sand. Given that both legs were stuck inside an itchy cast, he vigorously scratched his other foot, already irritated by his crippled state.

Standing beside the wheelchair behind him was his assistant-turned-host-turned-co-host Hailee, holding a portable table fan behind her uncle's bald head. Her face froze in irritation by her demoted status. Feeling the cool air flow from the fan, Phil leaned his head back, sipping Hawaiian punch from a kids-sized juice box. "Ahhhh…" He soothingly sighed. "Nothing like a beautiful, clear Thursday morning, ain't that right, niece?"

Hailee rolled her eyes. "Just… get on with the show already. This is Total Drama, not Total Malibu."

"Relax, Grumpy Face," he took another casual sip from his straw. "We're still on commercial break. Right, boys?" He raised his voice, staring at his small camera crew awkwardly surrounding them as the shoreline current continuously washes over their shoes. They glanced at each other, shrugging in confusion.

"Uncle…" Hailee facepalmed. "Camera's been rolling for ten minutes straight. Meanwhile, here you are, still drinking your Kool-Aid. Like, what are you? Ten? Quite discreditable for your so-called 'professionalism'".

"Actually, I'm drinking Capri-"

"You're… YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT!" She raised her voice harshly.

"Uh, guys?" The lead cameraman hesitantly interrupted their bickering. "We're behind schedule."

"Oh, right," Phil cleared his throat, awkwardly smiling. "As you can see, guys, I'm not at my… peak performance," he pointed to his leg cast. "But… the show must go on."

Hailee rolled her eyes yet again. "Phil… you do know I exist, right? I can host the show while you recover peacefully. My dad would hate seeing you like this on live TV."

"Quit the pity-partying, niece." Phil shook his head. "I'm fine, Hailee. My show, my rules. I've said this a billion times already-"

"Ahem, guys? We're behind schedule? Remember?" The cameraman blurted, pointing at his wristwatch.

"Alright, alright!" Phil shouted in frustration. "So, previously, on Total Drama: Bakuhatsu Island…" he swiftly pulled out flashcards as Hailee pouted in disapproval upon realizing his incompetence. "We had love, betrayal, love, betrayal, love once again, betrayal, and more love! Yeesh! Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions!" He laughed. Hailee, however, remained unamused.

"Get on with it," she muttered.

"Anyways," he continued, fully ignoring her. "We have a more competitor-savvy Kayla breaking up the star couple, Emily breaking up the relationship from within, Spencer breaking Nanci's heart, Daniela breaking up the relationship again, and Arnold breaking his… ankle?" He shrugged. "Meanwhile, the contestants had to dodge and jump through hoops of lasers and traps, snatching the treasure chest and exiting out of HQ with their prize intact. In the end, your favorite slacker, Daniela, snatched the victory. An unlikely alliance between Arnold and Emily formed. That will last long, no doubt." He muttered sarcastically. "After Daniela chose Spencer as her lover-I mean… 'roommate', Kayla felt betrayed, weakening their friendly little alliance. However, tonight, before Daniela's roommate pickin', after a shocking twist of events, Spencer pulled out his idol, delivering the heartbroken Nanci to the hungry ocean for some awkwardy-quirky-erm… something desert."

"Grasping for straws on that final one-liner, it seems." Hailee dropped the fan, crossing her arms in a relaxed smirk.

"Shush, and don't stop fannin'," Phil wagged his finger. "Any-who, ignoring my… pain-in-the-butt niece, who else will drink ocean water tonight? My bets on the pirate." He winked, smirking menacingly. "But I guess we'll find out on this explosive, one-of-a-kind episode of…

"Total…"

"Drama…"

"BAKUHATSU ISLAND!" He screamed on top of his lungs, quickly calming down upon coughing. "Hailee… carry me to the wheelchair. Help out a broken man with broken dreams, will ya'?" He muttered under a sore throat. Hailee kept her mouth shut, rolling her eyes.

"Gee, I wonder what the theme of this episode will be…"

"Hailee, just… shut up and pass me my wheelchair…"


Opening Theme

(Multiple cameras popped out of the lush bushes and palm trees found within the island)

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine,

(The camera did its signature zoom across the island, as it quickly flew by Hailee and Phil arguing on the camper's compound.)

You guys are on my mind.

(The camera then entered a deep pond found further inland covered in dark, dense vegetation.)

You asked me what I wanted to be

(A gleeful Arnold found a treasure chest deep within the pond, but it was quickly snatched by Hunter's fishing rod as he raised it onto the wooden boat. Arnold swam up onto the boat and threw his fake, plastic cutlass sword towards him, but Hunter deflected it and whipped it into the air, as it flew across the sky.)

And now I think the answer is plain to see,

(The cutlass falls and lands with the blade stuck on the ground, frightening both Kiara and Kayla, as they stood right next to it.)

I wanna be famous.

(A large, green snake with bright, red eyes slithered out a nearby bush and hissed at Kiara and Kayla, frightening them once more as the snake chased after them.)

I wanna live close to the sun,

(Spencer and Nanci were both on a motorboat, cruising through a river in a dense, swampy region. A couple of random crustaceans jumped onto the motor and pinched it, causing the motor to glitch. The boat then sped uncontrollably, zooming through the river. Spencer and Nanci were panicking.)

Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,

(The boat quickly passed by Alexander, as he continued playing his pipe flute.)

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

(The crustaceans that were on the motorboat jumped out the river and pinched on all over Alexander's body, as he then screamed in immense pain.)

I'll get there one day.

(Lily leaned onto the outhouse confessional and noticed Alexander's screams from a distance. She took photos of his inconvenience with her camera but was then startled by a sudden arrow piercing through the confessional door. It was revealed to be Emily carrying a bow and arrow, who then had an apologetic smile.)

Cause, I wanna be famous!

(At a region near the beach, Rashon tried to carry multiple coconuts at the same time, presumably for someone else, but clumsily tripped on a rock, dropping all the coconuts at once. Zane creepily stared at him from near a palm tree.)

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

(Soraya and Daniela were seen arguing on the beach. Soraya was standing with her arms crossed, while Daniela sat on a black couch with her hand resting on her face.)

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

(On the main dock, Oliver pulled out a line graph from the sky, seemingly out of thin air, as he pointed out the downwards slope in viewership and ratings for Total Drama.)

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

(The dock exploded out of nowhere, dropping Oliver into the water. As he swam back up, it was revealed to be Phil. He stood on the leftover part of the dock, holding a remote control in his hand as he grinned menacingly.)

(Whistle)

(Spencer and Nanci smiled and looked straight into each other's eyes, but suddenly, Arnold popped right in between them, waving his sword in front of their faces. Nanci's face turned to confusion, while Spencer was completely annoyed. The camera then zoomed out of the campfire site, revealing all the contestants sitting in a circle.)


Camper's Compound, Two Days Ago…

Be cautious what swamps beneath…

Be cautious…

Upon hearing strange noises outside his closed-shut window, Spencer immediately woke up. Yawning, he vigorously rubbed his eyes. Lack of sleep, yet again. Typical. Remaining on the bed, laying stoic and quiet, he pondered, blankly staring at the blank ceiling. He silently played back everything that occurred last night in his head like a record tape…

The passionate kiss. The handholding. Her playful arms wrapping around his neck. Her cherry-flavored lips. Her silky black hair flowing over his stiff shoulders…

Why? He thought.

Why?...

Slowly lifting his head, he peaked one eye out the window. Nothing. Just the usual 8 AM morning. Clear skies with a side of humidity. He spotted Kayla sitting outside by herself, leaning the back of her head on the shed, seemingly bored. Analyzing her frustrated eyes, Spencer could tell she was just about done with the show. Just like him, he was about done too…

Unable to pinpoint what woke him up, he glanced back at his bedroom door as he jumped out the bed, ready to walk out the hallway for some typical morning pancakes, attempting to avoid Daniela and the potential awkwardness that could ensue. The last thing he wanted was more awkwardness…

Unfortunately for him, walking out the hallway, he instantly stumbled upon his kicked-back roommate, bonking into her forehead like bowling pins. They both swiftly stepped back, almost tripping backwards while rubbing their own foreheads.

"Ow." Spencer muttered. "Blind much?"

"Aye, speak for yourself," Daniela countered, leaning her back onto the thin wall, arms crossed. "Pfft. You look… dead. No, um… d'you miss your bedtime, dude? Did Oliver's little notebook keep you awake at night? Seriously, dude. What's with the zombie eyes?"

"Hilarious, aren't ya'?" Spencer also leaned his back on the wall, arms crossed. "Heard something… off, just a few minutes ago. Woke me up."

"Heard something… off, just a few minutes ago," she teasingly repeated his words, mimicking his low-voice seriousness. "Aye, what can I say, dude? Your girl can voice act," she chuckled.

"So… yeah. Yeah… um…" Spencer glanced around the house in awkward silence, rubbing his arms while unable to stir more conversations. Daniela simply stood relaxed, smiling, patiently waiting as she continued gazing at his tired face. Her eyelids were half-asleep, but remained chill as ice, leaning her elbow onto the door frame.

"So, ummmm…" She repeated, mimicking his voice again while playfully kicking his leg with one foot.

"Ow." Spencer jumped. "But, um… yeah, well… I was thinking…"

"Well, you think too much," she yawned, stretching her arms over her head. "I'm gonna crash back to bed, dude. Gonna be dreamin' million-dollar big, baby. Peace-"

"Uh-w-wait!" Spencer stuttered. Daniela looked back, leaning her shoulder on the door frame with the most playful grin, softly nibbling her lips; he caught her attention with ease.

"Yes… Spencey? C'mon now, don't be shy…" She teased. "But for real, hurry it up 'cause I'm super dead sleepy right now, and my bed's gonna need some-"

And before she could finish, Spencer rushed towards her, delicately holding both her hands. Rapidly capturing her attention, she locked eyes with him, slowly rubbing his soft, albeit messy bedhead hair with one hand. As soon as she blinked, Spencer leaned his face over…

For another kiss.

Vigorously pressing lips, they both spun around, with Daniela's back slamming onto the thin hallway wall as she tightly wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck. She did not mind the spontaneous roughness; in fact, she loved every second of it. Her legs gently wrapped around his tall legs, gripping tight as she was lifted off the ground, pressing harder onto his cold lips.

Spencer was not expecting to lift her up onto the wall. His face blushed more vividly as soon as Daniela's soft lips were pressing harder onto his. Cherry-flavored, just like he remembered. Even though he felt shameful, drenched in wrongful icky-ness from their second kiss, not to mention the looming guilt…

He still loved every second of it.


Two Days Later, Near the Swamp Ravine…

"So, Phil…" Topher smiled flamboyantly, assisting the host by pushing his wheelchair on a dirt path headed towards the camper's compound. "Ever miss those glorious, triple-choke slam wrestling days? Doesn't strolling helplessly on a wheelchair, I don't know… bother you? No offense."

"Pfft." He scoffed. "When you're a superstar, beef-junky beast like me, I can endure any pain. Including the emotional kind. I'm a retired man, with retired dreams. You just gotta learn to… cope with it. Move on with life. Or… just become a deep thinker, like me! That'll help build mental muscle. The key is not only building up physical beef, but mental beef as well. Trust me, kid. No pain, no gain." He laughed, pointing to himself with a touch of playful arrogance.

"Hmm, speaking of pain, what's your pain tolerance like? Can you still endure extreme pain even within your… crippled state?" Topher pondered, continuing to slowly push the bulky host riding his oversized wheelchair.

"HA!" Phil slapped his knee. "I used to be a stuntman before my wrestling years. I've skydived into a canyon from the very top without parachutes. How did I survive, you may ask? Well, a stuntman never reveals their secrets..."

"Very interesting…" Upon approaching the swamp ravine—the same exact ditch during the intern-rescue challenge—a lightbulb popped out of Topher's head. Inches away from the crevice, Topher had the brightest idea… "Well, in that case, I suppose you can check this ravine off your bucket list. WHOOPS!"

'Accidentally' tripping and falling onto the grass patch while landing on one knee, the wheelchair rolled down the slope by itself, carrying a wide-eyed Phil, staring straight ahead to his sudden doom.

"Hey kid! What are ya' doin'? I'm 'bout to fall o-AHHHHHHHHHH!" Without enough time to react, he nosedived down the dark abyss. Seconds after the fall, an echoing thump rumbled throughout the crevice like a boulder striking onto cold stone.

Miraculously, while Topher timidly peeked into the deep abyss, he spotted a moving speck. Arms were moving. Hands rubbing over his forehead, accompanied by painful groans…

Phil… was still alive.

Phew, thank goodness, Topher thought, rubbing off sweat. He wanted no criminal record. He was too 'pretty' for prison, after all. Once assured, he pulled his ear out of the cliff edge, whistling and walking away awkwardly like nothing ever happened.


"So… Arnold… final five, huh?" Emily grinned, nudging his shoulders; both stood stiff outside, leaning their backs onto the Pahkitew shed, waiting for the supposed challenge announcement.

"Yarr!" Arnold swiped his sword in the air. The usual. "Me dreams comin' truer than ever before!"

Confessional:

Arnold: "Final five! Wow!" He gazed into the camera lenses in amazement, patting his chest in a self-admiring manner. "Thy captain is ready to snatch the million bucks," he dropped his pirate accent. "But seriously, my competition fierce as pirate ships. This won't be easy…" his eyes concentrated down to the floor as he rubbed his chin in rare sternness. "Time to activate my… ultimate serious Arnold mode. Contrary to popular belief, I am no legendary Captain Crack. Thy captain has a long way to go before reaching legendary status. I will admit, my toughest adversaries are… Spencer, Emily, and Daniela. All three can make excellent pirates, which worries me. I'm easily replaceable by any one of these guys. Well, anyone but Kayla. She doesn't seem like the… pirate type."

-static-

"Me too!" Emily nodded in glee. "But it's such a bummer that I won't be sharing my victory with my Calvin-baby. Hailee slammed a 'restraining order' between us, so he won't be visiting me anytime soon…"

Looking straight at her, the pirate held one hand over her small shoulder, comforting her. "Argh! Love is a fickle, sailing ship, always in danger of sinkin' by outside forces. But even if it does sink, you can still sail on a broken wooden shard. Remember, our main objective is reachin' the coast. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Wow! You're a lot wiser than I thought!" She flashed the brightest, most exaggerated smile that day. "It's no wonder you were able to confront Spencer with that level of determination. Speaking of which, how did that go?"

"Oh, argh…" he gritted his teeth. "Haven't confronted him yet. Work in progress, but that's the pirate life, alright. Expect the unexpected. It's like repairin' a ship. Yarr!"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll soon be teaching that jerk a lesson," she smiled, lifting his chin up with her hand. "Besides, you can always ask for help, alliance buddy," she winked.

"Like thy captain postulated…" he lightly shoved her hand away from his face. "It's a work in progress. Patience, m'lady. But it… shall be done!"

"Argh! That's great!" She giggled, following it up with a devious smirk as she playfully poked his nose while walking away. "I'll keep in touch. Bye!"

Confessional:

Arnold: "Thy captain knows how to swoon with the ladies. Argh," he crossed his arms firmly while lifting his chin up in confidence. "Ever since working at the circus, I honed the art of seduction while…" he suddenly froze, silently glaring at the camera for a couple seconds, eyes widened, playing back a traumatic flashback in his head like a videotape. "The circus. No-no, why did I mention the circus? Must… forget… working at the circus. Must… forget… working at the circus…" After rubbing his forehead in a failed attempt to wipe his memory, he pulled his sword out, switching back to his heavy pirate accent. "YARR! Circus? What's that? Thy captain only knows thy pirates, pirate ship, an' pirate sea! ARGH! GRRR!"

-static-

Emily skipped and hopped past a squinting Kayla, who pouted her lips while leaning her back on the wooden shed, arms crossed, not minding the potential splinters as she slouched her back.

Confessional:

Kayla: "I haven't spoken much to Dani in days," she rested her elbow on the thin wall, laying her ear on her palm. "Seems like everyone is, like, swooning into love town with each other. Arnold and Emily, and now, Dani and Spencer. Like, okay, so much for our long-running alliance…" she crossed her legs, sighing. "Final five… lonely as hell. Without Nanci, I have no one to girl-talk with. Spencer drove a wedge between Dani and I. Arnold… yeah, like… yikes. And Emily is, like… suspicious. Got my eyes on her…" she pouted her lips, sighing yet again. "Yup. Feels lonely at the top…"

-static-


Inside Daniela's disorganized bedroom, Spencer laid down with her on her bouncy mattress. The curtains were closed shut, reflecting most of the light out of the dimly lit room. Cuddling each other, she wrapped her legs around his like a decorative bow, tenderly rubbing her feet against his legs.

"This… this is nice," Spencer smiled, gazing into her sleepy eyes. She smiled back, rubbing his soft hair.

"Pfft. And I'm sleepy," she giggled softly. "Dude, gotta say, I love your hair, so don't mind me rubbin' it all night."

He gently reached his hand over to her black hair, messily flowing on her shoulders. "And your hair is… silky. Flowing down your body like… a river?"

"Um… cheesy much?" She giggled. Spencer's face visibly blushed upon gazing her reaction. "Dude, it's cool. Don't be so embarrassed, man. I like your cheesiness. It's cute," she playfully squeezed his nose with her two fingers. "Did you know, out of all the boys I've dated, you're my favorite one?"

"Really?" He smiled. "And why am I so special?"

"Oh, if you'd met my exes, you'd eyeroll them hard," she poked his nose. "You wouldn't wanna meet them. They're a bunch of shallow, dumb, lame soccer player wannabes with the same old goals. If we met for the first time at my hometown school, I'd date you in a heartbeat. Even though you'd probably… look the other way."

Spencer observed her sigh as she turned her shoulder, facing directly towards the dark ceiling with her back resting on the cushion. "So…" he continued, holding her hand. "If you liked me a certain way, how come you never… asked me sooner?"

"Pfft, livin' on stupid street?" She turned around, facing him while lightly tapping his skull with her small knuckles. "I just… I didn't think you ever looked at me the same way you looked at Nanci. Just… the way you always locked eyes with her… I just… I didn't think I ever stood a chance," she tenderly caressed his cheek, but this time, without smiling, gazing at his face in solemn. "But ya' know, it's cool. You loved her, and she loves you. Guess I was just… jealous. Yeah… if your… not into me like that, that's cool too. I'm not a biter."

"Honestly, I've been feeling… I don't know…" he muttered, playing with her hair. "For some reason, this feels so wrong, but also so right. Shameful, but also… daring? And yet, at the same time, I don't feel… anything about it? I've been so distant with her lately that I… stopped thinking much about her. Should've just officially ended our relationship, but I guess I was just… so spineless. Too petrified to tell her the truth. Completely chickened out. I guess, in a way, that makes me irresponsible. But… did I do something really bad? Am I… a terrible person?"

"I mean… technically, you did rekindle your relationship before she left, so yeah, you're one bad boy," she teased. "But… does it matter? Find what gives you the most joy. At the end of the day, it's about seeking the most happiness in life, right? There's nothing wrong with that. You're not obligated to her needs. Aye, if you wanna officially end it with her, you can always do that. And ya know, you can always… scooch up with me," she smiled before pecking his lips.

"I guess… I guess that's something to think about," he whispered, pressing harder on her lips before suddenly interrupted by a loudspeaker rumbling through the walls.

"RISE AND SHINE, CAMPERS! It's your friendly-neighborhood Topher here, delivering a message from yours truly! Phil wants all competitors to meet him outside the camper's compound in about ten minutes! DON'T BE LATE!"

"Thought the gopher was fired," Daniela rolled her eyes, teasingly tilting her head onto Spencer's chest.

"Seems like Chris wannabe wants an ego-flex. Whatever." While playing with her hair, he glanced at her messy room one last time, eyeing down a peculiar plastic container filled with a variety of electronics, from headphones to outdated music players. "That's quite an… assortment."

Upon piecing together Spencer's remark, she rolled her eyes at the sight of the container. "Oh yeah… my 'prize'. I nagged Phil for a phone replacement 'cause, ya' know, ya' girl won last challenge. But he just dumped his random collection of 90's junk and called it a day. But aye, at least I got a music player now!" She laid her head sideways near the edge of her bed, not wanting to bounce off the bed for yet another challenge. "Ugh, dude, I don't wanna get up just yet. Mind fetching my socks and shoes for me? Just… don't open my bra drawer, dork-face," she muttered teasingly.

"Aye-aye, captain," Spencer joked, pecking her smiling lips before sitting onto the edge of the bed. He glared at her prized container one last time, noticing another device sitting atop of all the electronics: an audio recorder, just sitting there next to all the junk. Daniela was right, he thought; win a challenge, receive worthless prizes…

"No, I won't be giftin' my prize. Quit starin', dude!" Daniela giggled, playfully shoving him off her bed.


The remaining five contestants stood quiet and firm near the compound's center, wearingly waiting for Phil's arrival. Daniela and Kayla talked amongst themselves, while Arnold exercised his sword-swinging abilities on his own, seemingly like he was auditioning for a movie role onstage.

Leaving only Spencer and Emily standing in silence, Spencer observed the pirate in careful detail… still annoyed, of course.

"Watcha lookin' at, Spencey?" Emily leaned forward with her hands behind her back, grinning.

"Don't talk to me…" Spencer remarked, looking away, only eyeing the pirate's guarding practices. "Using outside forces to cheat your way through the system. Pfft. You might as well sneak into HQ and snatch away the million-dollar briefcase."

"Aww, still upset over the private questionnaires Calvin handed to me?" She lowered her voice, smirking. "Think I cheated the system? Guess again. Those little personal digs all of us answered during our interviews were only useful so long as we answered truthfully. Duh. Oh-but I do have challenge foresight, so there's that. But… cheating the system? Nah… it was a flawed system nonetheless…"

He rolled his eyes. "A flawed system in which you took advantage of…"

"Nah… really?" She fired back sarcastically. "Tell me; wouldn't you do whatever it takes to secure the bag? Hmm? What, you don't know?"

"Not when it involves cheating…"

Emily laughed. "Cheating… funny. Whatever you say, Mr. Righteous," she smirked teasingly. "Oo! Oo! I have an idea! Tell ya' what, since you want to one-up me so badly, how about… you save me a surprise after the challenge is over, hmm? I'm sure you'll think of something, smarty-pants. Because I love surprises! But I digress. Gonna see what the girls are up to. I'll await whatever the hell you got, Spencey-poo!" She playfully poked his nose while skipping away towards Kayla and Daniela's chitter-chatter.

Spencer, however, continued glaring at her; his eyes sharpened, determined to stomp over her schemes once and for all…

Confessional:

Spencer: He sat up straight, with worried eyes. "I… I can't believe I'm saying this, but… this… this calls… for the most unexpected alliance to ever form," he gulped. "An alliance… with Arnold," he eyed down the camera, petrified. "I'm scared."

-static-

"Well, well, well… if it isn't… Mr. Grumpy-McGrumpy face himself. ARGH!" Arnold hissed, arms crossed and stiff, pausing his pirate shenanigans upon Spencer's interruption. "Came to make fun of thy Captain for the thousandth time?"

Spencer's eye twitched, then swiftly took a deep breath. "Look, I know we both aren't anywhere near friendship territory, but…" he gulped. "We both share a common attribute: a lack of trustworthy accomplices. Hard to make friends here when everyone's ready to pounce at your every misstep. What we need is-"

"YARR!" Arnold interrupted, drawing his sword, aiming the blade tip under Spencer's lower chin. "Well, THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG!" He shouted. "I've made a new friend, and she's one lovely m'lady!"

"Arnold…" he facepalmed. "If you're referring to Soraya, who—by the way—dumped you instantaneously in the most publicly embarrassing manner, then you're proving my point."

"Soraya? ARGH!" The pirate roared, sliding his sword back onto his belt. "That ship has sunken long ago. Now, I've hopped onto a new, formidable ship, ready to set sail towards shore on our everlasting hunt for treasure! She's fierce! She's the toxophilite! The pirate in disguise! The one who swamps beneath!"

"Are… are you referring to-"

"Emily. That is correctomundo."

"That… that's not even pirate lingo!" Spencer blurted, quirking an eyebrow, arms crossed.

"Silence, stupid face!" The pirate retorted

"And now, throwing childish insults."

"But… at least this pirate with 'childish insults' has friends," Arnold grinned cockily.

"And an untrustworthy one at that," he cautioned. "You are befriending the wrong person. Listen carefully—she's not what she seems. Now, I know you and I haven't seen eye-to-eye, but haven't you ever noticed anything off about her? Even the teeniest, tiniest details? Like, how she only speaks in an overly obnoxious cutesy voice? Or her very off-putting survival skills? Or the fact she hardly ever used the confessionals! Haven't you ever noticed?"

Arnold rubbed his chin, pondering. "What I'm sensin'… is jealousy. Envious of my success at making more friends than you. Angry that I've proven you wrong. You want Arnold to fail because you think Arnold is weird. Well, guess what?" He drew his sword, ready to attack. "Arnold is goin' nowhere. And Arnold will no longer stand for your fragile insecurities pushin' me around much longer. YOKAMA-POW!"

While about to slice Spencer's coat with his plastic blade, a familiar pretty-boy emerged from the misty shadows, stepping foot onto the camper's compound. All contestants stood stiff and ready for yet another challenge, bundled up near each other once Topher walked closer towards them…

However, all the campers knew something was off. Very off.

"Uh, where's hunky Phil?" Daniela pointed out, unamused by Topher's sudden presence.

"Yeah, and where's the rest of the assistant squad?" Spencer squinted.

"Those are all some excellent, thought-provoking questions," Topher replied, with the sleaziest grin on his moisturized face. "Unfortunately, we are cut-short on time, but since I'm a very-good-looking gentleman with impeccable taste in the arts of filmography…"

"Seems like you got competition…" Daniela teasingly whispered to Spencer.

"You can check 'e-gopher' off the list," Spencer mumbled back, as Daniela chuckled, briefly leaning her head on his stiff arm. She swiftly held her hands on her hips, lifting her head back up once her quiet laughter slipped away.

Standing on the opposite end of the camper group, Kayla silently watched and observed their whispering, squinting at her friend's rather close touching with Spencer.

Confessional:

Daniela: "I won't lie…" She leaned her elbow on the wall, legs crossed. "I had no idea what joke Spencer just told me. But dude, I just went along with it 'cause yo, I like me some weird, little awkwardness from time to time." She giggled.

-static-

"ARGH! JUST SPILL THE CHIPOTLE! Thy captain is growin' hungry!"

"Hold your horses, Captain Crunch," Topher retorted, hands on hips. "According to very-trustworthy intel, seems like Phil is running late yet again…"

"Ugh, typical," Kayla rolled her eyes, arms crossed.

"So, no host equals no challenge? YAY!" Emily hopped in place and clapped in excitement.

"Don't forget Hailee High-Heels still exists," Daniela joked, nudging Emily's shoulders.

"Awwwww…" Emily lamented in exaggeration. "I was hoping I wasn't going to see Ms. Law and Order…"

"Well, you won't be seeing her. Hailee's off tackling a salient issue with the network. Which means…" Topher's signature smirk returns, ready to drop bombastic news. "Without anyone else to fill in as host, Hailee left me in charge ONCE AGAIN! Surprise…"

Crickets. No one seemed to care for Topher's grand return at this point. Tiresome, given the number of host switcheroo's the show pulled.

"Yeah, can we, like… get on with the challenge?" Kayla rolled her eyes, hands on hips.

"Pfft. Whatevs…" Topher crossed his arms, irritated by the lack of a standing ovation. "Since absolutely no one offered congratulations to my handsome return as host of the show, I'm now forced to… spice things up a bit. Let's see, speaking of…" Upon pulling out a piece of paper detailing the challenge rundown, he shredded it violently in front of the confused campers. Paper crumbs fell and drifted away from his shoes.

"Um… what?" Spencer blurted out.

"New host equals… NEW challenge!" Topher grinned.

"New challenge?" Off guard, Emily raised an eyebrow, attempting to maintain her usual endearing façade. "That's a little… off the script, don't you think?"

The new host smiled arrogantly. "Whenever Topher is around, expect some magnificent twists and turns along the way. Unpredictability is the way I roll, baby!"

"Oh, yay! Great!" Emily clapped, but this time, rather defeatedly.

Confessional:

Emily: "Great…" she jabbed, unamused.

-static-

"ARGH!" The pirate stomped. "Then what will thy challenge be?"

"Two words…" Topher flashed a V-sign. "Topher… University."

The competitors continued staring blankly at the smirking host. Especially Spencer, hands stuffed in his coat pockets, and eyebrow quirked by his cryptic nonsense.

"What?"

"You heard correctly: Topher University. My soon-to-be film school launching next year. Only the elite-of-the-elite are permitted inside to learn the Topher Experience," he continued grinning, with a splash of arrogance on his so-called 'picture-perfect' face. "However, I will consider your guys' entry inside my pristine university. Let's see… whoever… showcases the best 5-minute vlog for today's challenge… WINS!"

"YARR! A… vlog?" The pirate scratched his head.

"Really?" Spencer remarked, rolling his eyes at both Topher's nonsense challenge and Arnold's ignorance. "And Arnold… really?"

"I certainly wouldn't, like, mind a vlog," Kayla crossed her arms, flashing a smile, rare these days for a mentally exhausted Kayla.

Confessional:

Kayla: "Kiara, Noemi and I used to, like, play and giggle around with vlogging back in sophomore year. Vlog Royalty days," she smiled, briefly looking up at the ceiling, then swiftly back down to the camera, sighing. "Yeah, those were fun times…"

-static-

Spencer: "My cranky media arts teacher used to eyeroll at my 'boring, overly woke' film demos," he stuffed his hands inside his pockets, recalling the teacher's wrinkly disapprovals. "Yeah, those were fun times…"

-static-

"So, that's it?" Spencer remarked. "You just want us to film a simple, harmless vlog as a challenge? No funny business? No additional, danger gimmick nonsense?" What are your check boxes for 'best vlog'? Where are our cameras?" He rambled impatiently.

"Calm your horses, Questionnaire," Topher remarked, gesturing a smooth hand stop. "I'm not finished. Your 5-minute vlog must include a wild Bakuhatsu critter in the rainforest wilderness. Frame a mini documentary discussing fun critter facts. Or walk with your critter on a short little hiking trip. Your vlog, your choice. Creative freedom will be bestowed…" he glanced around the lively compound, then back at the fatigued, almost soulless competitors. "Any questions?"

As soon as he asked, almost everyone's hands raised in a zoom. Topher chuckled, staring the ground with his hands on his hips. "No questions. Got it. You guys are fast learners!" He winked, finger-gunning in front of their unamused faces. "Camcorders are inside the ATV. Don't drop 'em. They're cheap and we got only five in stash today. In the meantime, Topher needs to formulate a… master plan, in front of a Topher-sized mirror. You guys got 30 minutes to shoot your vid! Sayonara!"

Spencer peered at Topher's arrogant strut; arms crossed. "From butt sniffer to wannabe. Must be nice being top dog."

Arnold, noticing Spencer's touch of frustration, attempted to push him over the edge even further by pointing his sword underneath his chin.

"And now… I'm suddenly attacked by a crack pirate," Spencer remarked, hands in the air, frozen yet visibly unamused.

"ARGH! Like thy captain previously hammered… jealousy over everyone, including Topher. Who's the wannabe now?" He snickered, attempting to pose as a maniacal threat to his nemesis, but evoked almost no reaction from Spencer.

"The irony." He dryly retorted.

Observing their constant bickering from the side, Daniela teasingly chimed in. "Looks like you made a new friend," she sharply bumped her lover's shoulders with her elbows.

"Oh yeah," he replied sarcastically. "Friends with the pirate, alright!"

Confessional:

Spencer: "Forgot how much of a moron Arnold was…" he rolled his eyes, hands stuffed within his pockets. "Scratch that, maybe the girls could be better reasoned with. But I must play my cards right. Otherwise, Emily wins…"

-static-

Daniela: "Just Spence being cute again…" Upon realizing her slight blushing, she shook her head, giggling at herself. "I get so embarrassingly corny when fallin' for a boy, but yeah, so can't wait for my brothers back home. Metiendo las cucharas. Yeah, lookin' at you, Jorge!" She pointed at the camera. "But aye, soon-to-be millionaire right here, dudes! Game plan movin' forward? Stay chill, vote off either Arnold or Kayla if it comes to it. Probably Kayla 'cause that chick is givin' me the cold stares lately. Don't know what's up with her lately, but either way… whatevs."

-static-

Arnold: "Thy captain has a genius idea for a critter!" He roared, swiping his sword. "But alas, standin' up to Spencer is the best feelin' I've ever had! And now, I'm feelin' so confident with myself that I want to start datin' again! Now, who's a good candidate for captain Arnold…" he rubbed his chin, peering at the camera.

-static-


"Argh!" Arnold strutted alongside a galloping, jolly Emily, roaming across the humid wilderness in search of critters as they both lightly held plastic-red camcorders. "So, did you witness my stone-cold confrontation towards Spencer?"

"I did!" Emily grinned, slowly walking alongside him, no longer skipping. "I'm so happy for you! Showing that bully who's really in control. I'm so glad I looked out for you. You're a great friend! Here, have an argh!" She winked, mimicking pirate mannerisms while giggling.

"Yeah, argh!" Arnold chuckled nervously. "So… we're friends. Feels great to have that these days."

"Friends make my darkest days bright like the sun!" She gushed.

Upon closely observing her young, innocent-like face, he rubbed his chin, pondering. "I've been meaning to ask…" Second thoughts steamrolled over his true desire, changing the subject before even attempting to blatantly asking her out. "Are… are you an actress?"

"What?" She smiled, albeit confused.

"You're face… it changes fast. In theater, they teach you how to convincingly change facial expressions on cue."

"Oh… what a thoughtful fun fact!" She grinned. "But nah… I'm just… naturally gifted at it!"

"Hmm," he pondered further. "So, you must be a survivalist then! We pirates love survivalists! Yarr!"

"Are you basing that on my archery and handcrafted tools?" She smiled teasingly. "No silly, but back home, I used to run into sticky situations, so I relied on my craftiness, as in, learning how to craft my own tools, or even learning how to craft my own bow-and-arrow! As a tiny little girl, learning self-defense is a must to fend off potential monsters."

"Monsters, as in… wild wolves?"

"Exactly!"

"So, that must be why you're so reserved at confessin'?" Arnold wondered; arms crossed. "The confessionals probably aren't your favorite part of the show, right?"

"I see where this is going…" Emily's back faced Arnold, slowly turning around to face him. "All these questions…"

"Yeah?"

"You…"

"Yes?"

"You want to ask me out on a date, don't ya?" She flashed the brightest smile in front of the blushing pirate.

"YARR! How'd ya' know?" He stuttered, sweating.

"Sorry, friend…" she teasingly poked his nose. "You're not my type. But I hope you find someone that matches your cute, little pirate heart!" She skipped and hopped away; dead set focused on locating her critter for the vlog.

"Oh okay…" Left behind, he attempted to flash back a grin. "Looks like I'll… find my critter vlog buddy too. Alone. Yarr…"


"Arnold is really getting on my last nerves lately…" Spencer whined, walking alongside Daniela. "He's just so… argh!"

"Aye, looks like the pirate's rubbin' in on ya!" Daniela chuckled, closely walking behind him as they calmly wandered under dim light. The tall trees hovered over them, with its blanket-like leaves reflecting off the sunlight.

"Seems like I'm catching pirate-itis," he gagged. "But on a real note, he's just… ah, he's so annoying with his wacky 'yarr matey, Spencer a poopoo head, argh, argh, argh-argh-argh,' acting like he's some kind of oblivious cartoon character, like NO, this show is serious business!"

"Dude, this is a reality show," Daniela fist-bumped his shoulder, chuckling. "So, what you're sayin' is… you like boring? Lighten up, dude. A little spontaneous unpredictable fun ain't so bad…"

You… do have a point," Spencer smiled, both standing still and by their side as they quietly observed their surroundings in search for a wild animal. After brief seconds of silence, he slowly slid down his arm, gently holding her hand.

Upon feeling his touch, Daniela flashed a soft smile, with a hint of cherry blush. "Speakin' of… annoying, you've spoken to Kayla recently? She's been actin' weird, I'm tellin' ya."

"No. Not really. She drives me away with her resting stuck-up face, but besides that, she seems… chill?"

Daniela laughed, holding onto his shoulder with one hand. "She's the gossip queen, dude. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like gossip too, but it's almost like… that's all she cares about. Maybe toss in a few high-end fashion talks here and there. We talk about other stuff, but… yeah, no offense to her, but she's kinda dry. Yeah, sorry Kay, I don't speak rich..."

Spencer's left ear picked up muffled rattling behind him, turning his head around for a peek. The thick bush no longer trembled; he turned his head back forward after being briefly distracted. A green jacket flap poked out of the bush. It would require binoculars to detect whoever hid behind the leaves.

She peeked out the bush one last time, before silently crawling away from the scene…

Confessional:

Kayla: "Do I really have a resting stuck-up face?" She wondered, feeling low-spirited, but also itching irritation, arms crossed with fiery eyebrows. "But, like… what? I do not talk about gossip, like, all the time! And also, like, look who's talking, Dani! Ms. Hypocrite. And yes! I do like my wardrobe expensive. I have money, like, might as well buy my favorite brands! What do you expect? You want me shopping at, like, Walmart?" She rolled her eyes, slowly realizing her tangent pretentiousness. "Whatever. Remind me, like, not to make friends with these backstabbers."

-static-

After searching for his critter buddy with no success, Arnold sat underneath a tree, almost seemingly ready to give up. Until…

"Argh?" Strange, golden sap oozed out of the tree, dripping onto his pirate hat. Arnold instantly stood up, viscously shaking the sap out of his hat, but to no avail. "Oh well, might as well snack it…"

He pulled out a ripe apple out of his jacket, hovering it underneath the leaking tree sap, letting the syrup-like substance drool over his snack.

Confessional:

Arnold: "Thy captain needed to refuel. Apples make great pirate snacks!" Arnold bit a piece of an apple, but with no tree sap splashed over his snack. "Ya know what they say—empty stomach equals angry pirate, but apple plus syrup equals yummy pirate fuel!" He glared the camera in a confused look. "I… sometimes make no sense."

-static-

Upon almost biting off his sappy apple, he noticed Kayla walking right past him, leaning her back onto a nearby palm tree with her arms crossed, expressing the most visibly annoyed face imaginable.

"You look… like a pirate gone sailin' for days without food," Arnold pointed out.

"Let's just say… it's been, like, a long day," she looked away briefly, glancing the trees around her.

"You hungry? Syrup-covered apple. De… licious!" Arnold displayed his snack in the air like a shining trophy.

"Sure. Why the hell not. My stomach is, like, grouchy. Thanks." Kayla cupped her hands, catching the tossed apple. She took one, massive, aggressive bite, salivating over the sweetness of the syrup. "Hmm, tastes, like, so different from the usual syrup. Super sugary, but also, like, so tasty…" She bit off another piece, heavily salivating at each bite. She had never felt this strange sensation of heart-pounding infatuation before, eyeing her apple with a teasing face.

"Yarr, Kayla? Earth to Kayla?" Arnold called her attention, waving his hand, concerned over her rather sudden, bizarre behavior. "Must've been sailin' for days, matey! You've scrunched your entire apple in a record time! Thy captain's impressed."

Upon silently staring at Arnold after gobbling up her snack, she walked over to him in an almost trance-like state, swiftly adopting shy behavior near his presence. "Oh wow… you're like, much cuter up close and personal," she blushed, gently caressing his tense face.

"ARGH!" Arnold backed off in an instant. "Thy captain was… not expecting a q-quick turn of events," he stuttered, sweat dripping underneath his hat.

Confessional:

Arnold: "YARR!" He blurted, stunned by Kayla's heart eyes. "Impressive how my pirateness can be a lady's weakness. The number of ladies oozing over me is surprising, but it's to be expected. Thy captain's got moves… and some booty…"

-static-

Kayla froze, fidgeting her hands, slightly flustered over his off-guard stance as he slowly walked away. "Wait, where are you going?"

"We… have a vlog challenge, remember?" Arnold reminded, waving his camcorder at her. "We must vlog alone, but after today's challenge is over, then... your booty be mine, matey!" He winked, casually saluting before walking off, disappearing into the heavy vegetation.

"Oh?" Kayla stood stiff, still fidgeting, but her face blushed visibly more upon witnessing Arnold's magnificent wink, timidly touching her own buttocks in preparation for… whatever Arnold had in store.


Topher flung both legs onto the black, reclining sofa, waiting outdoors at the camper's compound for the contestant's arrival, with their vlogs ready for Topher's dramatic judging. A massive screen monitor was propped behind him, but given its flat-screen shape, one wrong sudden couch adjustment and the screen could fall flat onto the rough ground.

Pulling out the iconic megaphone, the new host laid back on the sofa, combing his hair while flashing his typical, cocky smile. "ALRIGHT, CAMPERS!" He yelled. "TIME'S UP! GET YOUR CAMPER BUTTS OUT HERE NOW!" In a matter of seconds, all five competitors zoomed into the compound in a flash, swift like roadrunners.

"Argh!" The pirate raised his sword in the air, grinning. "Thy captain's captured a magnificent beast on camera! Hope y'all like dirt, especially you, Mr. Grouchy-McGrouchy pants!" He pointed towards an unamused Spencer.

Upon hearing Arnold's confident declaration of victory, Kayla leaned over, hovering her mouth near his small ears. "I'd love to eat your dirt, pirate cutie," she whispered teasingly.

"Wait just a minute…" Spencer's eyebrow raised, baffled by Kayla's sudden flirtiness.

"SHUT!" Arnold hissed. "Thy captain is a ladies' man now."

"Can you stop saying 'thy captain'?"

"No." He fired back, shifting into a random martial arts stance. "YAPUMA-KACHOW!"

"Guys, stop stealing all my spotlight!" Topher whined.

"Yeah, we'll gladly stop," Daniela echoed, arms crossed. "This show is gettin' weirder and weirder by the minute…"

"The show should just be renamed, 'Love Island'. Get it?" Emily nudged Daniela's shoulder, expecting a burst of laughter, but instead, a simple shrug.

"That show bores the hell out of me, dude." Daniela grimaced.

"AHEM. Moving on…" Topher pulled out a remote. "I need everyone to plug their camcorders to the monitor. Or hard drives… whatever. In the meantime, I will order my minion staff members to grab the other two… judges, inside the victory cabin. We'll be right back…" He finger-gunned the camera, smirking.


After being gone from commercial break, Topher strutted out the cabin, alongside two returning assistants, Tanner and Trevon, rolling out two judges with brown paper bags over their heads. Their bodies were tied to a hand truck dolly, viscously rolled out on the ragged dirt. Both wore the typical intern uniform: red shirt and khaki pants.

"Alright, campers!" Topher announced, as both judges were set right beside him, on opposite ends. Shoving the sofa out of sight, he grabbed the paper bag to his left, ready to reveal the first mysterious judge. "Here are our two judges that I sooo didn't kidnap!" He chuckled nervously. "To my left, you may recognize her from a certain… Total Drama season. Please welcome… former cast member… drumroll please…"

"Probably Heather," Spencer muttered to Daniela.

"You better not go all hots on her," she teased, playfully bumping his shoulders.

"For Heather? No way."

"Don't lie," she giggled.

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"It's… Ella!" Topher finally pulled the bag, tossing it in the air, revealing an innocent-like smile with her princess-like hair, appearing very similar to when she was a Pahkitew cast member, aside from her current intern outfit.

"Hello, everyone! It's so nice to meet brand-new faces!" Ella gushed, with the brightest grin on her face.

"WHAT?" The second judge screamed out from inside her bag. "Did I hear an… ELLA?"

"Oh, jeez. I wonder who that could be…" Spencer rolled his eyes, arms crossed, ready for the not-so-surprising second reveal.

"ARGH! I'm with McSmarty Pants on this one," Arnold nodded his head, his first time in agreement with Spencer in a long time. "This better not be another princess! I hate princesses!"

"You got that right, pirate!" The second judge echoed his sentiment.

Confessional:

Arnold: "I don't really hate princesses," he assured, grinning awkwardly. "Just goin' in pirate character. To become a great pirate, one must sometimes agree with the adversary. Keep your friends close, and your bullies closer…"

-static-

"You were supposed to stay quiet!" Topher stomped the ground, almost seemingly bursting into a tantrum. "Whatever. Everyone, meet the second judge…"

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"Sugar!"

As soon as Topher pulled out the bag, Kayla and Arnold gasped. Emily scratched her eyebrows with a confused look, while Daniela and Spencer both had their arms crossed, eyebrows raised at the obvious.

"HEY!" Sugar yelled, glaring at Topher, attempting to wiggle out of the ropes. "You said you were takin' me to the all-you-can-eat Bakuhatsu Buffet!"

"You're at Bakuhatsu, and this a buffet… a vlog buffet." Topher winked to the camera. "Think of it like… a buffet, except it's a vlog and it has nothing to do with food. Surprise!"

"Uh-vlog?" Sugar appeared visibly lost. "You speakin' Russian?"

"You're… in the most-simplest terms, you're judging for the best video shown on this screen right here…"

"Ahh, mud!" She lamented, wanting to kick the ground, forgetting that her legs were restrained.

"Alright campers!" Topher announced into his megaphone. "It's time we judge your vlogs! From a score of one to ten! Step aside from the screen and observe from the sidelines! Lights, cameras, action!" He pulled out his remote, pressing play. First vlog to roll up: Emily's.

"Hi, Topher! It's me, Emily!" She waved ecstatically to the lenses, flashing a massive grin. "Hope you love my wonderful video!"

"Barf." Spencer rolled his eyes, knowing full-well the extent of her inauthenticity.

"Today, I will be showcasing everyone's favorite, adorable critter: squirrels!" She pointed the camcorder towards a single squirrel resting on tree bark underneath a ray of sunshine.

"They have squirrels on tropical islands?" Spencer muttered to Daniela.

"Dude, it's Total Drama. Don't question it," she whispered back, chuckling.

"They are small! They are cute! They love wiggling their little tail. They love nuts, and-"

"BORING!" Sugar yawned, interrupting the video. "I've seen enough. I'm slappin' an F!"

"It's one-to-ten, Sugar, not high school grading." Topher facepalmed.

"Fine, it's a zero! That… was… TERRIBLE!" Sugar laughed hysterically, staring at the eye-twitching Emily. "What are ya? Ella 2.0?" She burst into laughter again.

Confessional:

Emily: "Hillbillies…" She glared unamused, arms crossed.

-static-

"I'll give that… a 10!" Ella smiled gleefully, resulting in a distraught Sugar.

"It's… a 2 for me," Topher yawned. "Not much of a vlog. More like… an infomercial."

For the first time, it seemed like Emily wanted to burst into frustration, but remained calm and collected, hands on her hips while forcing out a smile. "But… you said, it doesn't matter what the vlog was about…"

"Yeah, but I got bored, sorry-not-sorry," the host shrugged smirkingly, brushing her off. "Alright campers! Next up is… Kayla!" The screen flickered to the next video.

"Hey, what's up! It's Kayla Fay! And today, I have a very special little pumpkin I want to show you all…" She hid inside a bush, pointed her camcorder towards a familiar contestant. "Look at that cutie," she whispered. "He's about to swing his sword around! What a big, strong gentleman! His name is Arnold, and he is my favorite person on this entire island!"

"Uhm…" Spencer was beyond flabbergasted, unsure on what to blurt out next. "This is… wow."

"Yeah, don't look at me, dude," Daniela shrugged, eyes wide-opened as well. "What a weird show."

Spencer nodded, glaring at Emily, who stood on Daniela's other side. "So… what do you think caused Kayla's cuckooness?" He jabbed with suspicion.

"Your guess is as good as mines!" Emily shrugged with a hidden smirk, knowing full-well that Spencer is tossing any attempt to throw her off. "There goes Spencer's paranoia again," she whispered to Daniela, both giggling.

"I'll give that… a 10!" Topher declared. "Reminds me of the time I stalked the one and only Chris McLean. Good times."

"It's a 10 for me!" Sugar yelled. "She went straight to the point! Like that time I struck head-first to a giant drawin' pin on my backyard!"

"Um… why did you have a giant drawing pin on your backyard?" Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"Argh! Even better question, how'd you even survive that?" Arnold doubted, questioning the absurdity of her situation.

"Easy. My head's a bus!"

"I'm giving that a 10 as well! I love the positive energy!" Ella approved alongside the rest of the judges, leaving Kayla with the maximum 30 points, compared to Emily's measly 12 points.

"Yay…" Emily forced a grin, softly clapping. "I'm so happy for you, Kayla. That's so… wonderful."

Confessional:

Spencer: "Ya know, the old me from the first episode would've hated this absurd challenge with a passion, but… observing Emily slowly breaking down from the island's absurdity turning against her is just so… so therapeutic. Ironic justice, I must say," he smiled relaxingly.

-static-

"Next up: Arnold!" Topher switched to the pirate's rather… chaotic start of a vlog.

"ARGH! Hello, mateys! This is thy captain speaking!" He was sprinting and galloping away from a jelly-like monster a few meters away from him, pointing the shaky camcorder behind him. The dim lighting underneath the tall, jungle-like trees, plus the wobbly recording was reminiscent to a found-footage horror movie. "For my vlog, thy captain is capturing the beauty on the most powerful beast on Bakuhatsu Island: Brad, The Beast! It's chasin' me towards the camper's compound as we speak, but with my expertise in pirate-hoppin' maneuvers, thy captain will evade capture from the hideous beast. Observe…"

"Wait…" Spencer peered, facing the pirate. "Don't tell me that thing followed you all the way here…"

"Argh?" Arnold shrugged, awkwardly grinning.

"Spence, dude, you're worried. I can tell 'cause of all your chitter-chatter," Daniela chuckled. "But relax… it's not like Swampy chased Pirate Patch all the way here-"

And as soon as Daniela finished talking, the slime monstrosity echoed a roar, rolling over the palm trees like bowling pins. Its unexpected, flashy presence jump-scared the entire crowd as everyone screamed and dashed out of its way as panicky as possible, knocking down the TV screen along the way as it shattered on the ground. Mostly everyone, minus Topher and his Pahkitew 'buddies', sprinted towards the victory cabin; each one darted inside one-by-one, including the almost-forgettable Tanner and Trevon.

"No… NO, NOT THE FACE!" And before Topher could run and hide, Brad's sticky tentacles sprouted out of its gelatin body, tightly gripping his body in a wrap. Ella observed his hopeless friend viscously dragged onto the ground, wanting to help but was still unfortunately tied to the dolly.

"Oh… my!" Ella gasped. "The creature seems very stressed. Looks like Mr. Slime could use… a song!"

As soon as Ella found a hope spot, Sugar violently ripped the rope off her with relative ease upon hearing the word, 'song'.

"Hey, booger-face! Eat Ella!" Sugar smirked and snickered, shoving Ella's dolly closer towards the beast, face-planting her onto wet mud.

Brad, however, had no appetite for princess dinner this time around…

"So long, SUCKA!" After almost reaching inside the Pahkitew shed while leaving a trail of devious giggles, her sluggish run was no match for the tentacles' swiftness, capturing and hovering her around with ease as the monster returned to the wild rainforest; both Topher and Sugar screamed and screeched.

"Um… a little help here? Pretty-please? I'm stuck." Ella begged; her voice muffled from the mud as she was left alone outside the cabins, still tied and unable to escape. "I think Mr. Slime also took away my dear friend, Sugar! Hello?"


Inside the dimly lit suburban cabin, all the contestants, including the two assistants, crouched and formed a circle around a small table. Not much of the living room has changed, aside from the vandalized wall that Daniela and Hunter graffitied on, and the curtains completely shutting off any sunlight. An almost-apocalyptic interior.

"Man, this the second time you screwed up big-time, Mr. Liability," Tanner grunted, gearing his utter annoyance towards Arnold. "First, freeing Zane out of his cell, and now this? I'm surprised Hailee hasn't slapped disqualification on your pirate-booty."

"Yo, Hailee might straight up fire us for violating Operations Brilliant Red," Trevon gritted his teeth, wiping sweat off his forehead. "We gotta cover this up. Just pin the blame on Arnold, man."

"YARR! I'm right here!" Arnold shouted; arms crossed.

"Arnold, quiet!" Spencer shushed loudly. "Brad could literally be behind this cabin. We must remain as quiet and less cooky-buccaneery as possible."

"Whatever, man. I'm outta here," Tanner stood and walked away towards the kitchen. "This is out of my pay grade, dudes. Trevon, stop chasin' Hailee around. It ain't happening. Let 'em fire us, bro."

"If I may ask, boys?" Emily kindly intervened. "What's… Operation Brilliant Red?"

"Infestation control." Tanner blurted out.

"Yo, you stupid?" Trevon facepalmed. "Hand-deliver all our top-secrets on an all-you-can-eat platter, why don't ya?"

"Infestation? Pfft," Daniela held her giggles. "Like what? A zombie outbreak? Mutated plants? Be more specific, dudes."

"It's to keep all the Uglies on Sector B while restricting any rogues from entering the other island sectors." Tanner rambled, resting his arms over the granite countertops of the kitchen galley. "But somebody had to lure Big Boy Brad out of Sector B, now attracting a potential flock of Uglies into our safe zones."

"What are these… Uglies you speak of?" Kayla curiously tilted her head. "I hope you're not saying Arnold is ugly."

"Sorry, but that's all you'll be gettin' out of us," Tanner brushed off her question, while Trevon slowly peeked out the curtains, spotting nothing but sunset.

"No Brad on sight," Trevon claimed with confidence. "Seems like it captured both Topher and that Pahkitew chick. We gotta warn Hailee. Pin the blame on Topher, and we good. Let's roll."

"Whatever, man. Like I care if Hailee dumps me." Tanner left the kitchen, walking out the double-door exit, while Trevon followed pursuit.

Until he was asked a sudden question before leaving…

"So, wait?" Spencer blurted out. The rest of the competitors remained seated on the floor. "What are we supposed to do? Wait until Hailee's arrival?"

"Uh…" Trevon rubbed his chin, his body half-visible from the door frame. "Whoever brings back Topher wins? I don't know, man. But yo, if you bring him back, that'll slide y'all onto Hailee's good side, I'll tell ya' that. Tanner and I would take care of the rest…" He smirked before dashing out the front porch.

"So…" Emily broke the silence with a bright smile. "Anyone interested in rescuing Topher?"

The other four contestants pondered silently, staring down the floor before revealing a unanimous…

"Nah!"

"Let Hailee look!" Kayla brushed off the idea of even attempting a Topher hunt. "I'd love to spend time with my one and only!" She leaned her head onto Arnold's hat, wrapping her thin arms around his rugged jacket.

"Argh!" Arnold pointed his sword towards the exit. "Wanna scally away into the wild and make out?"

"Oh, I'd love too!" Kayla squeezed him before closely tagging along, both sprinting out the cabin in a flash.

Confession:

Daniela: "I'm confused, is she?" She crossed her legs, resting her chin over her knuckles while pouting her lips. "Is she flirting with Arnold to… make me jealous? Or to make herself feel better? Or none of the above? Yeah, I don't know, dudes. So… weird…"

-static-

"Looks like I'll be on a solo rescue mission tonight. Have fun, friends!" Emily winked before walking away. Spencer knew exactly who that wink was directed to, but remained silent and vigilant, not wanting to cause a scene, at least, not in front of Daniela. For now…

"Wanna chill and lay in bed with Phil's iShuffle knockoffs?" Daniela held Spencer's wrist, tugging his arm as she stood up, smiling and ready to take a breather.

Spencer nodded. "Sure. After wasting our time recording our vlogs without even having them judged, I could use a filler episode."


"Almost done, m'lady?" Arnold shouted outside the outhouse confessional, waiting for his newfound lover to finish dressing up before the sun completely set.

"And then, we could make out?" Kayla blurted out.

"Ya' darn right!" Arnold exclaimed giddily, resting his chin over his sword handle.

"Okaaaay! Ready!" She slowly unlatched the door, showcasing her new outfit, or rather, the exact same pirate outfit used by Soraya during the pirate-themed challenge, minus the jacket and hat.

"Woah…" Arnold gasped, stunned by her natural beauty. "I… I underestimated you. Good thing I kept Soraya's pirate outfit after all this time. Not creepy at all…" He chuckled nervously. "Anyways, you look dazzling!"

"Aww, thanks!" She blushed, grinning, standing idly and shyly. "So… like, would you, oh, I don't know… would you like to kiss me?"

"Walk this way, m'lady," Arnold beckoned teasingly, as Kayla took a few shy steps, her face blushed while walking. Once she was inches away from his face, Arnold immediately noted her towering presence, reminding him of Soraya, except with a much more delicate touch.

After they continued silently eyeing and tenderly smiling at each other for a few seconds, Kayla bent her legs to reach down to Arnold's height, then leaned her soft lips over…

For a kiss.


"Is this… Brihanna?" Laying down on bed alongside Daniela, Spencer grooved his head to the beat, facing the ceiling.

"Duh." Daniela tapped his head with her knuckles, thudding like a coconut. "It's got her signature voice, dude. La-la… la, la. Who else could it be?" She chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right. I think I caught a case of pirate stupidity."

Daniela shuffled her music playlist with just a single, dramatic swipe. "Check this out! Her lesser-known banger. She's got some underrated goodies like this one. Bet your sister would love this track."

"I don't have a sister." Spencer turned his head towards the edge of her bed, facing away.

"Uh, and I'm an only child." Daniela lightly punched his ribs, grinning. "C'mon, bro. Spill the frijoles. I won't bite, mmm, well… maybe just a little. But c'mon. I love keeping secrets. Trust me, dude."

"There's… no secrets to spill really…" Spencer faced back the ceiling. "I'm telling you the truth. I don't have a sister. But… I do have a stepsister. Big difference."

Daniela chuckled. "Stepsister, huh? Why don't you ever talk to me about her?"

"Because… I don't like to talk about her," he lightly snarled. "We don't get along. There's… something wrong with her, I can tell you that. The only trait we share is that we both wear glasses, but besides that, I'd much rather forget she exists."

"And so that's the reason you signed up for this show?"

"No. I just needed to escape from the mundane," he rested his head on top of his palms. "Taste a bit of fame. Get a feel of what its like to be under the spotlight. After feeling like that guy people forget exists in a friends' group, you'd want to feel a taste of fame. And ya' know what? For once, I wanna be famous."

"Dude, same." Daniela mimicked his relaxed hands-behind-head, staring the ceiling alongside with him as they both quietly nodded their heads to the melody. A couple seconds later, and her earbud wires tangled itself, so she fiddled around with the wire, attempting to untangle them but to no avail.

She gave up, and instead, continued to glare the ceiling, feeling the time quickly slip away from their idling. A brief existential pinch struck her eyes, almost to the point of dropping a small teardrop, but she immediately wiped it off her face without Spencer noticing.

"Dude, I'm bored. Wanna just join Emily's rescue mission?" Daniela tapped his shoulders repeatedly.

"Isn't it getting dark outside?"

"Yeah, but… your girl feelin' a little bummy just laying here doin' nothing."

Spencer was zoning out into his own world, a growing world of guilt and shame. The more time he spent around her, the guiltier and dirtier he felt about their spontaneous relationship. But the time for pondering was no more; he also wanted to jump out of bed to shove aside any intruding second-thought. "Sure, why not?" He shrugged, pulling out his earbuds, ready to journey through the dangerous rainforest in the lonely dark.


"Hey, I just want to offer my sincere gratitude for untying me!" Ella expressed gleefully, closely walking behind Emily as they cautiously trekked through the damp bushes off-trail, with a single flashlight beaming the front.

"I know your beautiful singing will come very handy, so I knew I couldn't leave you behind like that." Emily glanced back, grinning cheerfully before eyeing forward.

"Really?" Ella smiled innocently. "Hardly anyone ever took the time to complement my singing back in Pahkitew Island. Are you sure you wouldn't like me to sing you an awe-inspiring lullaby? You know, to lighten up the dark, desolate atmosphere?"

"That's okay, no lullaby needed." Emily grinned. "Let's just say… I'm very fond of the quiet dark…"

In a sudden twist of events, they both finally spotted a lone, walking silhouette, a few meters ahead. "Shh. That could be Topher. Stay right here. I got this." Emily hushed before swiftly climbing up a nearby tropical tree like a spider, whipping out her handcrafted slingshot once hopping over another tree.

As the figure walked away, Emily bounced from treetop to treetop, attempting to catch up to the shadowy figure before escaping her sight. The closer she reached, the greener and more disfigured the creature appeared, bearing no resemblance to the suave host-stealer at all.

Couching on a flimsy tree branch, she sneaked closer towards the enigma; however, she miscalculated a footstep, snapping the entire branch in half as she plummeted down to a bush, letting out one quiet grunt. She instantly poked her head upwards, noticing a slimy, zombie-like creature, grumbling and snarling, seemingly like gargling snot inside its throat while trudging towards her with both arms extended frontwards.

Wide-eyed, she swiftly pulled out her slingshot, aiming directly towards the head. In a matter of seconds, she struck bullseye, knocking down the creature to the ground as she promptly flighted away from the scene, running back to where she left Ella.

"Ella! Still here?" Emily shouted and whistled. Reaching back to their split-off, she was nowhere to be found, vanishing into thin air. Not a single trace of footsteps anywhere. She continuously searched inside each nearby bush. Glanced at every treetop near her vicinity. Nothing.

Not a single clue.

"Uh-alright… whatever," Emily mumbled to herself, unnerved by the sudden misty fog obscuring her view before walking away into the darkness without a care in the world.


Kayla and Arnold continuously touched and pressed lips under the rising moonlight, softly moaning as they both tripped into a bush. Its prickly twigs were no distraction to their make-out; Kayla made sure not to scrape her face from the pointy bush by keeping her lips pressed onto Arnold's for as long as possible.

"Right this way, m'lady," Arnold whispered, gently pulling her face away from his lips. He gripped her hand and led her away from the bush, roaming around the dark wilderness until he stumbled upon a small cave below an overhanging cliff. "This path leads you straight under the swamp," he pointed his flashlight towards the dark abyss. "Cool, huh?"

"Oh-totally!" She nodded, pecking his face while caressing his hat. "You-know, I also have something really cool I'd love to show you…" she pulled out three tiny oranges from inside her green jacket, spontaneously juggling them as Arnold observed her hidden talent in awe, jaw loose. "A cute, little lingo I taught myself whenever bored or alone. My friends think I'm some, like, undercover circus freak, but, like… it's just fun to learn, ya' know?"

Arnold remained silent, almost hypnotized by her smooth juggling. His eyes glared directly at the flying oranges, seemingly like the oranges rolled a flashback through his mind.

"Um, Arnold?" Kayla grinned awkwardly, continuing to juggle fatiguingly. "You there? My hands are, like, tiring quick."

Nothing came out of Arnold's mouth. Just mindless staring, eyes widened by the thought of working at the circus. He could envision the exact key moments, dressing up as a circus clown, tying balloons in complicated knots for kids to smile and enjoy while the same kids would accidently let go of their balloon later in the day. He could recall the smell of popcorn and pizza. The numerous times parents slapped cash onto his palms for their ecstatic children to be entertained.

But those were not the fond memories he would vividly remember. Shoving aside the innocent camaraderie were the habitual hecklers in town. The bullies. Those same ones from his high school. Whenever the three bullies arrived for some circus fun, Arnold would flee and hide inside the public restrooms, cowering in the grimy toilet stalls until they disappeared from his sight.

Sometimes, however, he was not so observant. Sometimes, the bullies would randomly spot him in his clown costume. Not much Arnold had done but besides stand there and take it. The insults, oh-the insults were vivid memories. 'Circus freak' and 'clown' was their most common choice of words. His mandatory clown outfit and makeup were no help to alleviate the inner tears hidden underneath the makeup…

"Arnold? Hello?" Kayla repeatedly waved right in front of his wide-eyed face, waking him up from his trance. "You okay? Need me to, like, splash water on your cute face?"

"I-I can't do this. I don't wanna do this. I don't want to remember my circus days! I don't want to… I DON'T WANT TO!" He shook her shoulders, hyperventilating.

"Hey-hey, breathe? Breathe. Relax. It's okay." Her hands gripped tight onto his shoulders, softly gazing into his shaky eyes. "Breathe in… breathe out. You're okay, sweetie."

Arnold took her advice, deeply breathing in and out through his nose. In, and out. In… and out…

Once his nerves relaxed, he glanced back up at her worried face, blushing and backing away from her in embarrassment. "I'm… I'm sorry you had to see that." He turned to face the cave wall. "I'm… I'm just a phony. A fake. I'm not some cool, fearless ladies-man like I thought I was. I'm a clown. A sad, lonely clown." He pointed to his outfit. "See this pirate getup? It's what I aspire to be. Someone cool. Someone fearless. Someone that doesn't care what other people think. But… I'm far from it. I'm still that same, girlfriendless clown from the circus. A phony pirate."

"But… you are cool. You are fearless," Kayla reassured, sitting down. "Like, screw what other people think of you. Be what you wanna be. Don't let other people shove you down. Carve your own path and if others block your path, shove them. Don't invite them in your head. And you know what? Sometimes, that pathway can be loveless. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it can feel hopeless without a significant other sticking by your side through-and-through, but that's okay. Sooner or later, that love will naturally find you, as long as you be your true self."

"Wow…" Arnold wiped his tears before turning around to finally face her. "That's some… really good mindset to have. I… I don't know what to say. I still have a long way to go-"

"And that's okay. Ya' know, it's something I strive to be as well," Kayla smiled tiredly. "Still not, like, exactly there, but it's a journey. My dad knows a bit of psychology. Gives me self-actualization talks here and there. To stop following other people's footsteps. This show, like, made my follower habits more apparent. Opened my eyes a bit."

They glared into each other's eyes once more. Arnold noticed a peculiar detail; her pupils appeared less dilated and discolored compared to when she first fell in love with him, seemingly appearing more normal. "Have I been falling for fake love?" The pirate thought. The more he pondered, the more illogical the thought that Kayla loved him out-of-nowhere became. "Argh! You know what? You're right," he flashed a soft smile. "How 'bout we… stop moping about and find out what's on the other side of this cave. You up for this journey… together?" He held out one hand, palm facing up, ready to delicately hold her hand.

"Anything for you, cutie."


"Soooo…" Daniela nudged Spencer's shoulders, walking behind him as they both wandered aimlessly into the rainforest, with nothing but a single flashlight that Spencer gripped tightly. "Think we're screwed. No way I remember where that ravine was," she attempted to hold Spencer's hand, but instead, he swiftly pulled it back.

"Dani, I need to get something off my chest," he rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his flashlight beam, avoiding eye contact. Daniela tilted her head in confusion. "I've… I don't know how to say this, but…" he paused, eyeing the ground. "Maybe in another universe, this would all work out… but you need to understand, I… I can't do this anymore. I can't love you," he turned away in shame. "This… this is wrong. I feel wrong. Immediately after seemingly working it out with Nanci, I stab her in the back. Just like that. What kind of friend does that make me? Might as well tattoo 'disloyal a-hole' on my face."

"Spencer, are we really doin' this now?" She crossed her arms, her face expressed visible frustration. A rare sight for such a relaxed Daniela.

"We can't be a thing." Spencer shut her down. "W-whatever we were? Holding hands? Kissing under your ceiling. Yeah, I'm sorry, but we should stop now, I need to catch a break," he continued facing the other way, afraid to glance at her reaction. "You're… you're not fuming with hatred at me right now, right?"

Daniela briefly froze, arms crossed, visibly frowning. She took one last look at Spencer's back before flipping her silky hair, facing the other way. "It's… it's cool, dude. I'm not mad. In fact, I don't really mind. I knew we were never really a thing. Could have said something a lot sooner instead of draggin' it out, but it's cool, dude…" her voice almost broke down, hiddenly wiping a tear off her eyelid.

"I'm-I'm so sorry."

Daniela began walking away, brushing him off. "Don't worry 'bout it, dude."

Before heading back to camp, she paused, glancing back at him one last time. "I have something I need to confess as well…" she sighed, catching Spencer's attention, turning back to face her. "You wanna know how Nanci was eliminated? Emily and I deliberately voted her off because Em knew you had invincibility. So, I helped her remove Nanci out of the equation, and in return, she'd help me be with you. So that I could have you all to myself because I was jealous. But ya' know, things ended up not workin' out. Thought I should let you know before I head back to camp. I'm so sorry, dude…" she walked away, feeling guilty as ever, hands stuffed in her pockets while eyeing down the ground.

Spencer, however, was not keen on the truth bomb, still facing away staring at tree bark. No longer feeling sorry, but instead, inner anger. "It all makes sense now," he thought. He eyed down the tree one last time; fury marked by his scrunched eyebrows.

Confessional

Spencer: "Emily… is going down," he glared in complete determination."

-static-


Kayla and Arnold continued traversing through the narrow cave, walking deeper and deeper below ground level. They held hands tightly, not wanting to lose each other. Arnold aimed and pointed the flashlight beam with his mouth, gripping the handle with his teeth.

"Argh! These caves do ring familiarity in my ears. I know exactly where this will lead." Arnold exclaimed proudly before swiftly dropping his smile.

"Really? Where?" And before Kayla reached over to his face for a kiss, they both heard a rumbling roar. Mixed in with mechanical screeches. They both knew exactly what that was.

"Kayla, listen to me," Arnold gently held her chin, gazing into her eyes. Her pupils seemed to be morphing back to normality, just like the pirate suspected. "I've underestimated you. Before, I didn't think you'd make a good pirate, but I was wrong. You can steer thy pirate ship towards the destination, no matter the cost. I see that now. Because you helped pick me up at my darkest moment, I will lend you a hand," he pointed ahead. "Use that inner warrior. Use it! I could see you have it in ya'! I could see that potential! Win that million dollar check by any means necessary!" He took one last look at her worried, quiet face before sprinting forward, tossing the flashlight and sword over to Kayla, leaving her behind…

"Wait! Where are you going?" Kayla blurted out. "Arnold? ARNOLD? DON'T LEAVE ME!" She chased after him, attempting to catch up but to no avail, slowly bursting into tears by each passing minute. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? ARNOLD? ARNOLD! PLEASE ANSWER ME! Arnold…" her composure steadily slipped away, gripping tight onto jagged stone near the ceiling to avoid fainting and falling face-flat. "I… I don't understand. Why'd you leave me alone? Why…" Blurry vision. Brief flashes of nausea. Eyes almost rolling back…

After a long glare towards the stone ground, her entire vision was clear again, no longer fuzzy from almost passing out.

And now, she remained calm. Composed. Back to reality. Her strange infatuation for Arnold suddenly wore off. Slipped away. She felt normal again, no longer feeling chained to the pirate. "Wha… what happened?" She mumbled, rubbing her forehead. "Was I really making out with Arnold for that long?"

She continued her path forward, flashlight illuminating the cave's narrow tunneling before staring at Arnold's sword on her palms with determination, one last time.

Confessional:

Kayla: She crossed both her arms and legs. "I don't know, like, what the hell happened, but… I'm glad Arnold didn't drag out… whatever the hell that was," she shrugged, with a touch of tipsy.

-static-

Composure? Check. Stern seriousness? Check. Fixated at rescuing Topher before anyone else for a potential ticket to victory cabin? Bold check. She continued her trek down the gray, featureless caves, with its path widening up again by each passing minute.

Slime. Suddenly, green slime popped into her sight. Drooling down the pointy ceiling like snot. She speed-walked down the path, shielding her hair with both arms, hoping that the sticky substance doesn't touch her skin. "Ew-ew-ew-ew-ew," she muttered, quickening her sprint, ducking and dodging each drop of snot.

And before she knew it, she had arrived at the end. Or rather… the beginning of the swampy ravine. Brad's home. Her very first visit. Glancing upwards, the ceiling was much higher, the walls steeper. No longer round, but almost oddly rectangular. Further ahead, the ceiling appeared to disappear abruptly, almost like she was under a scooped-out, towering hollow cliff.

She glanced back directly over her head one last time, picking up a peculiar whimper. It was not long until after squinting, she recognized exactly who that was: cyan-turquoise shirt, khaki pants, glued to the ceiling and covered with slime…

"Topher?" She called out, her voice bouncing over the walls like ping pong. "How'd you get stuck up there! Where's Ella and-"

"SHH!" Topher shook his head frantically, pointing to what was ahead. "It's… it's coming…"

And before finishing his warning, the monster roared and screeched, approaching Kayla at rapid speed. It popped into her vision within seconds, no longer obscured by the fog.

"Save yourself, Kayla! BUT DON'T FORGET TO SAVE ME FIRST!"

Kayla ignored his cries, forming a battle stance with her sword pointing at the beast. "I got this," she murmured before charging head-first to the monster like an assassin sprinting into darkness.

Once she finished running a roundabout towards the slime monster's back, she stabbed its behind, straight for the kill. However, it was not long until she noticed a face-palming moment: she was wielding a plastic sword.

Confessional:

Kayla: "Ha… ha. Yeah, before you, like, start giggling back home, I was still feeling weird and tipsy," she crossed her arms. "Now I gotta wonder, like, what the hell happened to me. Reminds me of that time I blacked out at Naomi's sister's 'gorgeous nineteen'. Yeah, don't ask."

-static-

Leaving the sword glued behind, she backed off hurriedly as she observed the monster wailing its tentacles around in a harsh panic, accidently knocking Topher off the ceiling to crash-land down on stone, headfirst. Kayla ran around the distracted beast, picking Topher up while wrapping his arm around her thin shoulders.

Miraculously, he was still conscious, albeit not without imaginary spinning birds gliding around his head.

"Kayla, look out!" Topher cried, steering his face clear from the monstrosity regaining its composure and rolling down towards them. Kayla sped up her pace, attempting to help Topher regain his footing. But they were no match to Brad's speed. Not even close…

Until suddenly, the monster was distracted once again…

"ARGH!" Arnold shouted, calling Brad's attention. Kayla peeked over the monster, squinting at what lied behind. Her eyes widened, noticing a carefree pirate standing on a wheelchair, right on top of the sleeping, wrestler-like giant: Phil. They both rolled down a stone slope as Arnold performed a juggling feat.

Turned out, Arnold never left her behind.

Confessional:

Arnold: "Found my favorite host Phil glued down to the ground unconscious," he rubbed his chin, spinning his blade. "Seems like someone pushed him off. Unsolicited pirate-ness is forbidden in these territories! But who would be jealous of his coolness, enough to attempt murder? Hmm…" he pulled out a magnifying glass out of nowhere, pointing his magnified eyeball directly in front of the camera lenses.

-static-

"YARR, MATEYS! Coming out of circus retirement once more to showcase my inner clown! RA, DA, DA-DA-DA-DA-DA, DA!" He blurted out loud while juggling five chunky stones. Brad froze, glaring at Arnold, hypnotized by his enigmatic maneuvers before the pirate flung a stone at the beast, fully provoking it as the beast rolled away from Kayla and towards Arnold and Phil. "RUN, KAYLA! I GOT THIS!" He rushed her away while hurling another stone near its belly. Kayla simply nodded and carried Topher out through the caves.


The cave entrance was not far from the camper's compound, surprisingly. Kayla and Topher hurried towards the treeless safe zone as the sluggishly galloped over bushes, keeping her flashlight beam as steady as she could.

After a brief, finishing sprint, they finally made it back. "Home…" Kayla sighed in relief, dropping Topher as he faceplanted the dirt. From a few meters away, a tall figure walked towards them, towering over them in a rather irritated mood. She glared at Topher, her heels tapping the dirt impatiently.

"You got a lot of explaining to unravel!" Hailee crossed her arms, eyebrows scrunched. Her mean, signature look. "In the meantime, PHIL?" She whistled harshly, beckoning him over as his coma-induced self was rolled over to them in his bumpy wheelchair, pushed by Arnold himself.

"Oh, hey. Beat me to it." Kayla flashed a peace sign, smiling.

"Actually, I arrived minutes before you. So, w-we're both winners!" Arnold grinned awkwardly, looking down the ground while rubbing the back of his neck.

"Nope, she's not the winner." Hailee shut him down. "In fact, a challenge was never scheduled for today! Thanks to a certain… host stealing, backstabbing, little gopher."

Topher pointed his finger in the air, his face still stuck in mud. "It definitely can't be me-"

"YOU THINK YOU COULD FOOL ME? WALK OVER ME… no, we're not doing this today," she rapidly regained her composure, squeezing her eyebrows in frustration. "Don't forget, our team has surveillance covertly stashed all over this island in case of dire circumstances, but of course, your lack of furtivity oversaw that. Professionalism is key, and so you will be dealt with privately. In the meantime," she sternly patted Arnold's back. "Since Topher was so generous of offering us free footage to splice up an entire episode, I am declaring Arnold the victor for rescuing my uncle!"

"Oh wow. How great." Kayla rolled her eyes.

Confessional:

Kayla: "Ms. High-and-Mighty just had to, like, step all over my hard work and effort," she ranted. "All that for nothing. Thanks, Stuck-Up. Glad to have you back."

-static-

"Elimination ceremony is in three hours," Hailee pointed at her wristwatch. "I've already gathered Emily, Spencer, and Daniela inside the victory cabin while you two searched for Phil… and Topher, I suppose," she rolled her eyes. "Wash up, take a shower. I could care less. I have a certain… surprise waiting at the ceremony…"

Confessional:

Emily: "I wonder what ever happened to Sugar and Ella…" she rubbed her chin, squinting… before shrugging it off.

-static-

Daniela: She gripped both hands onto the scraped ends of the wooden platform seat. "If I get eliminated this episode, it's whatevs," she shrugged. "But I've come this far. No way this chica is quitin' now! Think a random dude who I've had a crush on is gonna stop me now? Get outta here! Your girl hasn't been joggin' on the daily back home for nothin!"

-static-

Spencer: "Tonight's the night…" Spencer eyed down the camera. "Called Emily to meet me a couple walks away from the compound, ready for confrontation. No more distractions. No more emotional manipulations. It's time I put an end to her schemes. Because I… have a secret weapon…"

-static-


"Very sweet of you to follow through with a surprise…" Emily yawned, walking over to Spencer. While waiting for her arrival, he leaned his back onto a tree, looking up at the full moon. Its magnificent shape helped reflect sunlight onto the rainforest, illuminating anything that hid in darkness. "Make this quick, Spencey-poo. My eye sockets are gonna darken, and it's gonna be visible with my pale skin. I'd like to keep this innocent face cute and pretty, thank you very much," she grinned gleefully, before slowly morphing into a smirk.

"You're a terrible person, you know that?" Spencer peered at her sternly, arms behind his back. "Interfering with MY relationship just to eliminate any double-voting down the road. Injecting chaos while you sit back and watch. You love watching others self-destruct, don't you?"

Emily grinned, holding her laughter. "Tell me something I don't know. Like I've already said, I'm here to win, and win only. Playing the game the most secure way possible. Not to mingle or any of that lovey-dovey nonsense. It's not my fault you were distracted by hugs and kisses. Such pointless crap."

"It's not the only way you could play the game…" Spencer retorted. "You took the coward's way. Playing up a Baby Girl Riding Hood façade like a psycho. Take me, for example. I've been playing the game with the most morally-intact method imaginable, and yet, I'm still in the game…"

"Hol' up, I'm stopping you right there, mister," she sneered, stifling a laugh. "You tryin' to take the piss out of me? You? Morally intact? Give me a break, man. You've already forgotten your little cheating scandal with Dani?"

"Because you had set Dani up with me."

"And-oh, it's my fault you couldn't control your urges?" She laughed. "Goody-two-shoes snobs are just so stupid. You wanna hear all my so-called 'sins' one last time, Mr. Morality? I rewired Alexander's magic flute, framed that nutcase Zane, drove Soraya insane to sabotage her own team, stole a couple belongings and framed it on Hunter, played around with your 'relationship' with Nanci, which—by the way, stupid idea to mingle on a reality TV show. Oh, and don't even get me started on my background," she remarked. "Think I give a damn for Arnold's people-pleasing issues, or Dani hooking up with you? I helped set her up with you for a favor because at least she understands the basic winning principles: if you want something, you gotta get your hands dirty. I want… I take. Simple as that."

Spencer took one last glare at Emily's cold face. "I just… wanted to confront you under the darkness. I'm onto you. You can still continue ruining friendships. Spreading lies. Gaslighting. Just know that I will always be watching…"

"And I'll… still love ya', Spencey-poo!" She hopped and skipped towards him, ready to poke his nose with the fakest smile, until… she glanced down, noticing an off-putting wire dangling underneath his gray coat. Laser-focused, she glanced back at his confused face as she flipped open his coat. Her eyes widened open, startled by the sudden revelation as she uncovered a device taped onto his black undershirt…

An audio recorder.

Spencer immediately dashed away, running back to camp as fast he could, dropping Emily as she face-planted the ground. Seemingly, for the very first time, she panicked. Lifting her face off the mud, she frantically scanned around her vicinity in an animalistic posture, finding nothing but darkness. No sign of Spencer. Nothing.

"Damn it!" She punched the ground. She knew that, sooner or later, Spencer would share the entire audio recording to the entire cast. She rubbed her sweaty forehead, thinking of something, anything quick and last-minute that would save her from elimination before she bit the dust over a major miscalculation.

Until… something hit her.

Surveying the ground for any sturdy branch and a few smooth rocks, she pulled a branch poking out from a bush behind her, biting and grinding her teeth into the bark. Then, she grabbed a stone, slamming it onto her frail arms until they visibly bruised, remaining as quiet as she possibly could while gritting out any whimpering. Her eyes glanced at a puddle nearby, reflecting her delicate face. She gripped onto the rock, now aiming for her left eye, smacking her eye socket until she saw red. Her face peeked into the puddle one last time, revealing a purple eye with blood flowing down her cheeks.

"Perfect."


"Dude, what's this all about?" Daniela complained, rubbing her eyes while walking alongside Kayla and Arnold outside the victory cabin front porch, all bothered by Spencer's rush. "Dude, this better be important. Waking me up during my nap…"

Kayla rested her face on her fist. "Yeah, like, can't this wait until the ceremony?"

"Guys, this is incredibly crucial," Spencer assured. "I'm here to expose a rat, living amongst us to take advantage at our demise. It's… it's about Emily if you haven't put the pieces together already. You guys think you know her, but I'm here to showcase her true colors. I know I haven't been the most transparent dude, but… yeah, you guys need to listen to—"

"AHHHH!" A terrifying scream was heard from behind a bush. As everyone glared at the outer trees, Emily's cries and whimpers were heard clearer and more audible, digging her face into her palms to hide her crocodile tears as she rapidly approached Arnold.

"Argh! Why are thee possessed by a demon of sadness?"

"Because… because SPENCER ATTACKED ME!" Emily raised her arm, showing multiple bruises from her wrist down to her elbow. "And LOOK what he did to my eye!" She poked out the left side of her face, revealing a swollen bruise underneath her eye socket. All three of the campers gasped, shocked by the revelation.

"WHAT!" Spencer fumed, appalled by her sudden assault accusations. "This… this is unbelievably low! Do not even dare listening to her! If you guys could just let me play the tape—"

"You… YOU MONSTER!" Arnold shouted at Spencer. "Unsolicited pirate-ness is an absolute no-go in my book. Prepare to take the Swim of SHAME!"

Daniela remained quiet, hands in her pockets, looking down to the ground, still upset over Spencer shutting her off. Kayla, however, was left emotionless, arms crossed, sharing her piece of melancholy, but still analyzing her weeping in a calculated fashion.

"It's… it's okay, Arnold, you don't have to d-defend me," Emily sniffed.

"No, it's not okay," Arnold walked towards her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. "Let's walk you back inside. This… this is evil behavior. Everyone except Spencer, follow me. Screw your tape. We are done with your bullying. Thy captain shall sentence you to… a night in the Pahkitew shed!" Arnold pointed away, as Kayla and Daniela walked inside, leaving a trail of yawns and sadness.

"Let me just grab my belongings from the shed," Emily pulled his arm out. "I, I got this."

"I believe in you, m'lady. You're gonna be okay." Arnold tipped his hat, smiling before heading back inside, leaving behind a jaw-dropped Spencer and a snickering Emily.

"I can't believe you just framed me with an assault case."

"Oh, one last thing…" Emily aimed her slingshot, knocking down his audio recorder out of his off-guard hand as it smashed into the porch. Spencer had already played the recording, but it was muffled underneath Arnold's screaming, only acting as background noise under Emily's con. The recording was still playing but now fully warped and distorted from the drop impact. "Don't worry, I won't press charges. 'Cause I could care less." She sneered. "Try not to let the ocean water freeze you up, Spencey-poo. Ta-ta!" She smirked, waving goodbye, walking back inside giddily while leaving Spencer behind as he glared at his broken recorder… fully defeated.


12 AM. Full moon illuminated the gloomy campfire; each eye-rubbing contestant yawned sluggishly, waiting for Hailee to read out her impromptu flashcards, a first for the blonde host. Standing behind her: Trevon, Tanner, and Topher, all three held their hands behind their backs, prepared for any of Hailee's strict demands.

"Thanks to a certain… gopher…" Hailee rolled her eyes frustratingly. "I have no choice but to go off-the-cuff," she flung her flashcards behind. "Let's just cut to the chase, Arnold, here's your damn treat!" She gripped onto a marshmallow from her wooden bowl, hurling it towards his salivating face. "Spencer, Daniela, Emily, and Kayla? One of you will be going home tonight. I wonder who that could be…"

"Wait, you're not gonna, like, build suspense by narrowing the loser candidates?" Kayla questioned?

"Nah, too obvious," Hailee pouted. "Now, the one swimming home tonight is…"

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"Spencer."

"Yeah, figures," he sighed, immediately standing up and walking towards the dock without turning his back once. "I sure won't be rooting for any one of you guys back home. Well, except maybe Kayla and possibly—"

"YARR! BEGONE, BULLY!" Arnold shouted, pointing away.

Spencer rolled his eyes, preparing for a dive, ready to swim. Before jumping over the dock, he tossed one last warning…

"Beware of the crocodile." He cautioned, leaping into the ocean water as he swam away from the Final Four.

Until…

"And now…" Hailee declared, turning to face the remaining competitors. "It's time we prepare for… another elimination tonight. Assistants?" She whistled, beckoning one of them to pull over Pahkitew's elimination weapon hidden behind a bundle of bushes. Tanner ran through the beach with sandals, pulling out the cannon seemingly out of nowhere while dragging its wheels over the sand, shoving it closer and closer to the end of the dock.

All four of the competitors gasped, shocked by the sudden announcement of a double elimination. A first for the season.

"Hey, wait a sec!" Kayla blurted out. "You said there wouldn't be, like, a double elimination this season!"

"Well, I lied." Hailee stood her ground. "Rules change. Just how the game works."

Daniela crossed her arms, unamused. "Yeah, so much for integrity."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you." Hailee glared, rolling her eyes. "Let's just get down to business. To spice things up, we brought back Pahkitew's good ol' blaster, for old time's sake: The Cannon… of Shame. It's reserved for the second eliminated person, and maybe… just maybe… it'll be our new mode of transportation for the rest of the season. That person riding The Cannon of Shame tonight will be…"

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"Topher."

Hailee smirked while Tanner and Trevon both grabbed the terrified Topher by his arms on opposite ends, dragging him through the sand as they forcefully hurled him towards the cannon, lighting it up as fast as possible before Topher opened his mouth. All three of them planned his demise accordingly.

Just as planned.

"No, you can't do this to me!" Topher cried, slapping the cannon in a tantrum. "This was supposed to be MY show! MY… SHOW!"

"And I was supposed to host THIS episode, but I suppose we can't have all the glamour in life now, can we?" Hailee took one last glare at him before lighting him up. "This… is for pushing my uncle off a cliff!" She slammed the big red button on her remote control, launching Topher in the night sky as he screamed in horror.

"Looks like the screaming Topher is out. Finally, no half measures." Hailee dusted her hands, facing the camera like a gleeful news reporter. "Nice cop-out, am I right? Who else will succumb to the dangers that awaits them on these final episodes? Will there be another batch of breakups? And… whatever happened to Ella and Sugar? We're nearing the end, folks, so grab your popcorn, count your calendars, because things will only skyrocket from here on out! Your one-of-a-kind host, Hailee Friarwood, will take over the show once again while Phil recovers from his coma, delivering more action-packed drama, right here! On…"

"Total!"

"Drama!"

"Bakuhatsu Island!"


5 AM. Everyone was asleep by then. Crickets chirped outside the front porch of the victory cabin, where the winner resided. One of the surveillance cameras hidden inside a tree zoomed towards a peculiar device: the busted audio recorder. Still left outside, already forgotten. As the lenses zoomed in even further, it captured sudden movement outside the frames…

A hand reached down and grabbed the device.


The Votes:

Arnold: (Spencer)

Spencer: (Emily)

Kayla: (Emily)

Emily: (Spencer)

Daniela: (Spencer)


Elimination Table:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5. Spencer

6. Nanci

7. Oliver

8. Hunter

9. Soraya

10. Rashon

11. Kiara

12. Lily

13. Zane

14. Alexander


Remaining Contestants:

Kayla, Daniela, Arnold, Emily


And here it is! A new chapter finally on the table! We are nearing closer and closer to the finale! This was quite a surprisingly long episode. I was not expecting this one to match lengths with the previous chapter, but I felt obligated to push the length a bit further, like last episode, to properly flesh out some of the characters. The next three chapters will be more fast paced, so be on a lookout for those episodes!

So, a couple thoughts about Spencer: I initially planned his elimination to take place last episode, but ultimately, I felt like this chapter was a more necessary spot. He was surprisingly a difficult character to write because on my earliest drafts, I was not absolutely sure what end goal I wanted for him, but I also did not plan for him to reach the final four. At the end of the day, I'm satisfied with his conclusion.

Admittedly, I ran into a bit of trouble deciding what path I should take for this episode. I had a secondary script written for the second half of this chapter because I felt like a certain scene felt a bit too dark, but I decided to ultimately stick to the original script and take the risk.

So, your overall thoughts? Who do you think grabbed the audio recorder at the final scene? Predictions for the final three episodes? Any additional theories?

And as always, thank you all fellow readers and reviewers! You guys are the best! The next three chapters will be quite an explosive round of back-to-back drama, so stay tuned!