(Author's note: This story is a cross-post from Ao3, and as such I'll be uploading a chapter a day until I'm caught up! Thank you for reading!)

Chapter 1: The Lost Boy

The sun was high in the air of the Gobi desert, and the blistering heat rose in shimmering waves off the dunes. The resulting distortion of the air would have made it hard enough to see any landmarks even if the fierce winds weren't whipping sand around enough to lower visibility down to a few yards anyway. Not that it mattered to the boy trudging through the blighted landscape anyway, as he hadn't seen a sign of any other human beings in days. He was covered head to toe in a thick brown cloak worn over a ratty yellow shirt and black pants half held together by wrappings at the bottom, and his face was entirely obscured by a protective mask and goggles. All of this was perfectly suited to keeping sand out of sensitive areas and was therefore normal desert attire, with the exception of one thing: most people would not think to bring an umbrella into the middle of an arid wasteland. Most people would also traverse the desert by night in such a sweltering outfit and use the hot days as a chance to rest in whatever shade they could make, but this young man was clearly too determined to reach his destination to even consider stopping.

Or perhaps he just hadn't thought to travel at night.

Stumbling into an oasis, he refilled his canteen and, with surprising care, dampened his yellow-and-black spotted bandana and wiped his face. He approached a much older man (who had just gotten done splashing a generous amount of water into his own face, which countless desert days had transformed into something resembling an old leather sofa) and after they each cycled through languages until they landed on a dialect of Chinese they could both bastardize well enough to get the point across, held up a map. It had stick figures. It had a smiling sun. It was, to put it generously, completely useless.

"Excuse me", said the boy. "Could you tell me how to get to Furinkan High School?"


Several days and 2000 miles away, in the Nerima ward of Tokyo, the eldest of the Tendo daughters was of the opinion that the household was having an altogether too interesting night. Admittedly, Kasumi thought there hadn't really been a boring night in the Tendo household since her father's old friend had shown up with his son just a week prior. ...Kasumi stopped to think. It couldn't possibly have been only 7 days, could it? It felt like so much longer than that. Doing a quick mental replay of the daily routines and noting when she no longer remembered a brash boy fighting with her sister Akane or her father finally having a shogi partner, she shrugged. She supposed that was just how life with the Saotomes was going to be. In any case, the reason for tonight's excitement was being caused by middle child Nabiki advancing on the Saotome son Ranma with a dress in hand, brown bob of hair disheveled and sweaty from running through the house, and a look on her face that even Kasumi (always one to assume the best in people) could not manage to read as anything other than "nefarious".

"All your clothes are in the wash, Ranma!", She remarked gleefully. "Besides, it's only for a few hours!" Ranma, for his part, was backing down the hallway, naked from the waste up, with only a towel draped over his breasts for modesty.

"N-no way!", He said, heart pounding in his throat and eyes darting to look for any available exits (there were none). "I'm a guy, there's no way yer makin' me wear no girly clothes!" Meager protests were made, but the boy who was to be Akane's husband meekly agreed to wear something out of the girls' closets. So long as it wasn't too frilly, of course. A man had pride to maintain, after all.

It is at this point, perhaps, that an explanation is in order. One week ago, Soun Tendo had called his daughters for a family meeting and explained that his old friend and fellow practitioner of the Anything Goes school of martial arts would be bringing his son to become the fiancée of one of the three of them. None of them were exactly thrilled with the news. Kasumi, as the only one who was out of high school, had a vague feeling of discomfort at the idea of dating someone her sisters' age. Nabiki seemed to primarily be interested in how cute the potential suitor was, and as for Akane…well. The less said about her (very reasonable, considering circumstances) hangups surrounding boys, the better.

The duo who had appeared at the dojo that day, however, were not the martial arts master and his son (cute or otherwise) as promised, but a 250 pound panda carrying a protesting young woman on its shoulder. There was some momentary confusion and a misunderstanding relating to the family bath that's best left buried, but it was soon explained that on their training mission in China, both Genma and Ranma had fallen into cursed springs known as Jusenkyo. The father, who fell into the Spring of Drowned Panda, became a large, fat panda, reduced to writing on signs to communicate. The son, who fell into the Spring of Drowned Girl became, well. A daughter. Fiery red hair, a figure to make any girl jealous, and funnily enough, perfectly applied purple eyeliner. Kasumi often wondered how the curse accounted for exactly what makeup the unfortunate victim was wearing at the time of their death, but doubted anyone else even noticed.

And so it was that the two elder sisters of the dojo found themselves rummaging through the youngest's closet for something for Ranma to wear, as she was the closest in size to Ranma's girl form. She wasn't happy about the situation, and made sure to let everyone in earshot know.

"So why does Ranma need to borrow my clothes, specifically?" Akane asked, frowning while sitting on her bed and decidedly not helping pick something out. "If you're both so determined to dress the weirdo up like a little doll you can use some of your own clothes!"

Kasumi smiled, "But Akane, you and girl Ranma are nearly the same height," she reasoned. "It just makes sense, we wouldn't need to alter anything! Plus, you have so many clothes that would look so cute on them!"

Weirdo. Girl Ranma. Ranma was not liking the tone of the conversation, and decided to put his foot down. "Well I ain't wearin' no skirt, no way! At least find me an outfit with pants!", He angrily demanded.

And so it was that he found himself dressed in a pastel pink pair of overalls emblazoned with the English word for "China" on the bib, worn over a plain orange cap-sleeved t-shirt. Ranma found himself staring at the outfit in spite of himself, he was used to the loose silk shirt that he normally wore and didn't notice much of a difference in the fit between his 2 forms. It was an odd sensation to wear something that actually seemed to be fitted properly.

"Huh! It's a perfect fit!" Akane's words brought Ranma back to reality, and he immediately angrily retorted by describing exactly how the tomboy failed to measure up to the body of his girl form.

"Are you kidding me? The chest is practic'ly suffocating me, it's so tight!" He whined, being as obnoxious as possible. "And I'm swimming in this baggy waist!", He said, tugging on the pockets for emphasis. Akane, taking the bait, immediately began whaling on the boy with a bokken, screaming that she was going to kill him. Ranma wasn't sure why he continually antagonized his arranged bride. It's not like she was unpleasant to be around. She was a skilled martial artist, and despite his many jibes to the contrary, was genuinely very cute with her long, flowing black hair and he found himself getting butterflies in his stomach whenever he caught a glimpse of her all-too-rare smile. There was just something about the whole situation, he decided. It wasn't his fault, their dads had forced them into this arranged marriage without consulting them, that had to have put a damper on things. And then there was the way that every boy at Furinkan High, led by Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Blunder himself, endlessly threw themselves at her every morning, declaring their love in the same breath that they used to swing a hockey stick at Akane's head. It was no wonder she hated men. Add that onto Ranma's lack of any female socialization since he started going to an all-boys' middle school, followed almost immediately by a nomadic life of training in the Anything Goes style, dating her like a normal person was just out of the question! And Ranma wouldn't say it (certainly not to Akane's face), but there was something he somehow knew he'd have to pony up some hard-earned yen to the all-knowing Nabiki for.

He had a sneaking suspicion that Akane's hatred for boys went a bit beyond the simple result of experiencing firsthand the boorish bullheadedness of your average high school boys.

And thinking about this for too long made him very sad for some reason.


Days passed, with Nabiki forcing a girl-bodied Ranma into a number of increasingly ridiculously skimpy and ridiculous outfits that he wanted no part of. It was as if the girl was getting some sort of sick thrill out of it, Ranma thought. Unbeknownst to anyone at the Tendo household, miles away a boy was zigzagging across Japan, with his utter inability to follow directions kindly given to him matched only by his grim determination to make it to Tokyo and face his hated rival Ranma Saotome once and for all. Tired, hungry, and desperately needing a shower (a hot one, the boy ruefully thought) he staggered through what finally seemed to be urban streets and grabbed the collar of the first person he laid eyes on.

"Alright you! Tell me where to find Furinkan High School!", he barked, expecting a nervously stammered set of directions that would turn into a jumbled mess in his brain. Instead, the boy he had grabbed simply looked at him with an unamused expression and pointed behind the strong boy trying to threaten him, not bothering to say a word. Sounding out the kanji etched onto the sign like someone unfamiliar with the written word, the boy started shaking and turned back to his new informant. "Now tell me where I can find Ranma Saotome!" Before the question could be answered, however, the boy in yellow heard shouts from the school.

"Wait, Ranma! Come back here, you jerk! Come back!", shouted a girl with long black hair that the wandering boy didn't know. Who he did know, however, was the pigtailed boy with the black hair she was chasing. It was him.

"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!", he shouted, lunging at Ranma with his umbrella and leaving a crater in the ground from the force of the impact. Ranma had dodged with a handflip, however, a move which struck a nerve with the bandana-wearing youth. "Still just as skilled at running away, eh Saotome? I've waited for this moment for so long."

Ranma stroked his chin thoughtfully, not saying a word. "Do you know this guy?", Akane asked. Something about the genuine look of confusion seemed to strike a nerve with his attacker.

The scruffy-looking youth looked crushed. "...You mean you really don't remember?", he asked, seemingly on the verge of tears. Ranma shook his head rapidly to indicate that no, he did not. Anger replacing grief, the mystery boy asked "Well then answer me one thing, Saotome! Why didn't you come to our fight at the agreed-upon time?"

Realization dawned. "Oh I remember now!", Ranma said with a snap of his fingers. "We went to junior high together! Lessee, yer name was uuhhh…"

"It's Ryoga Hibiki", Ryoga said, glaring at the other boy.

"Oh yeah, long time no see man!" Ranma said with a smile, moving to lay his hand on the shoulder of his old buddy. Ryoga smacked it away, clearly not amused.

"Just tell me why you didn't come to the fight, you coward!", he snarled.

Ranma pinched the bridge of his nose. "Well Ryoga", he said, words dripping with annoyance, "some people'd consider failin' to show up after 3 days for a fight that was behind yer house to be the real mark of a coward. I thought you always went on about bein' a 'real man'. What happened to that, huh?"

Ryoga's eye twitched. "O-oh yeah?" he screamed, tears welling up in his eyes. "Well a real man wouldn't abandon his best buddy to go on some TRAINING MISSION IN CHINA!" Shit. Tears were flowing. Tears were unmanly. Boys didn't cry, much less strong martial artists. He had to get this fight started. "You went and broke a man-to-man promise, and you DARE to run away and claim the high ground? This is revenge, Ranma! I went through hell tracking you down, and I'm about to pay it back to you tenfold! Say goodbye to your happiness!" Enraged, Ryoga threw his umbrella in a sweeping arc at his former friend, the bystanders crowded around intuitively knowing to back away rather than see just what was up with this weird weapon he carried.

Moving the minimum distance needed to avoid the passing umbrella, Ranma turned to Akane. "Happiness?", he asked. "Akane, do I look happy?"

The joke failed to land, with Akane simply saying "what are you asking me for?" Ranma paused in a rare moment of introspection. Why had he asked Akane if he was happy? ...Whatever. It was just a dumb joke delivered to a humorless girl. Introspection cancelled. "You need to figure out what this guy's beef with you is! It seems like more than a normal grudge."

Ranma punched his open palm in realization. "Hey Ryoga, buddy! Is this about the bread I sniped during school lunch?", he asked, confident that he had gotten to the bottom of the misunderstanding.

Clearly furious, Ryoga shouted "No it is not about the GOD DAMN BREAD, RANMA!" and jabbed at him with the umbrella. The fight was on. Chasing the red-shirted coward to the high school's soccer field, Ryoga skidded to a halt, breathing deeply with umbrella in hand. Ranma finally stopped running and faced him. "Why'd you stop running, Saotome? Finally decided to man up and face me?"

"I was just getting us away from bystanders, ya big lug", Ranma said, rolling his eyes. Looking at the crowd gathering around Nabiki to place bets, he realized it was a pointless effort. As the two began their match, Ryoga threw his umbrella at Ranma once again. The pigtailed boy easily sidestepped it, almost ashamed that his old friend had gotten so sloppy. He didn't notice the handcuff until it was around his wrist. The throw was a feint, and the boys were now tethered together. Ryoga smirked. Ranma wouldn't be running away this time.

"Just try to run away now, Ranma!", Ryoga goaded.

"How many times do I hafta tell ya, I didn't run away!", Ranma shouted, blocking Ryoga's punch while throwing a kick that collided with the other boy's own, resulting in a perfectly symmetrical display of violence. The umbrella, meanwhile, had come to rest at the edge of the field, and students were discovering that it weighed more than the average adult. Akane was mortified that a person who could toss this like a frisbee was allowed outside of a research lab, let alone fighting someone she was technically engaged to, even if she didn't actually want to admit she cared about him at all.

"Ranma, don't let him hit you! Be careful!", she shouted. She needn't have bothered. Ranma was finally beginning to have some fun.

The handcuffs had been a smart ploy, if not for one detail. They didn't call Ranma's style "Anything Goes" for nothing. Swinging below his opponent using the tether, Ranma pinned Ryoga under his weight. Which also would have been a smart ploy, if Ryoga Hibiki hadn't happened to have been the strongest fighter in terms of brute strength that Ranma had ever faced. Using his one free hand, the boy in yellow launched them into the air and clear out of the school grounds, where he half chased, half was dragged by his opponent to the Nerima Zoo.


"Why won't you fight me head on, Ranma?" Ryoga yelled, swinging his umbrella and inadvertently snapping the tether attaching them, as well as cutting a slit into the chest of Ranma's shirt.

"Hey, you ruined my favorite shirt!", Ranma said, looking down in shock. "It's going to take hours to- to work off what it'll cost to replace!"

Ryoga scoffed. "This is a duel to the death, Ranma! Don't you start talking like a girl!" Ranma blinked, taken aback, before scowling.

Well, thought Ranma, it had been fun, but it was time to end this. "Who you calling a girl? I'm a guy!" Ranma aimed a kick at his opponent, who jumped to escape, leaving Ranma to collide with a drinking fountain. Uh oh. Water erupted into the air, a freezing cold geyser. Ryoga immediately blocked the water with a quick, practiced deployment of his umbrella. Ranma was not so fortunate. Still focused on beating his opponent, Ranma turned to the other boy and in a voice an octave or so higher demanded "Come on, let's finish the fight Ryoga!"

"Wh- who the heck are you?" Ryoga gaped, staring at this new girl. Where his old friend and rival Ranma Saotome had just been there was now a much shorter, cuter figure standing in an identical fighting stance. Red hair had replaced black, and instead of a flat, muscled chest she had. She had…

Oh, dear.

"Shut up and fight me!", the girl shouted, landing a kick on the dazed martial artist. Ryoga recognized the kick. It couldn't be. He couldn't believe it.

"...Ranma…? Is it you?", he asked, scarcely believing the evidence of his own eyes. But there was no room to dispute it. Ranma had been there one second, been splashed with water, and then standing in his place and acting just like him was this girl in front of him. Ryoga knew all too well what this meant. That bastard Saotome had fallen into his own spring at Jusenkyo.

"Ranma, your blouse!" Akane yelled, running up to the two sparring boys. Ranma blanched for half a second and was about to insist that he was wearing a regular silk shirt and not some girly blouse, but remembered the huge gash in the chest just in time to realize that he now had a huge chest of his own. As he quickly covered up his assets, Akane asked "Didn't you even notice that you became a girl?"

"Ranma… you're…" Ryoga said, eyes wide and mouth agape. He was still having trouble processing what he was seeing.

"Yeah, yeah.", Ranma muttered. "Laugh it up, Ryoga. That's right, I've been cursed with this body thanks to pop's idiotic training. Now I gotta live like this for the rest of my life, like some sorta half-girl weirdo!"

"Ha ha hahaha…", Ryoga chuckled darkly, no humor in his eyes. "Don't make me laugh! How can you say a thing like that?! Since when is having a beautiful body like yours a curse?"

Ryoga immediately knew he had said something wrong. You don't get an awkward silence like that unless everyone is judging you, and with those stares? They were judging him hard. At least, that was how his brain decided to interpret the largely slack jawed expressions of the group of bystanders who just saw a fountain explode (or were trying to sneak a peek at the chest of that redhead girl who just showed up). The recently-transformed focus of his attention, however, had a mix of emotions on his face that Ryoga couldn't quite pin down. There was realization there, and was that… guilt? Did he know he was responsible for Ryoga's tumble into the spring of the drowned pig?

That jerk, Ryoga thought. This most recent embarrassment, like every misfortune you had ever suffered, was all his fault! Ever since Ryoga had met him in junior high his life had been a never-ending string of disasters, from the lousy rat cutting in the bread line at lunch, to skipping out on your fight like the coward he is, to leading you on a goose chase across China that gets you cursed! You used to LIKE cold showers! And now when you finally find him, after years of running around Asia, you learn that he fell into a cursed spring too! But instead of becoming one foot tall with a curly tail he gets to be…

Gets to be…

...Human! Right. Human.