Hi lovelies! Yea, I know, I know, I'm a terrible person for leaving you all for so long. In my defence, this chapter took a really long time to get right, no matter what I did, I was not happy with it. At all. Finally, I got it to where I wanted it! So, enjoy, and the next chapter is already part written and nearly planned out so I am hoping to not leave you all hanging for so long this time!
Chapter Thirty - Miscommunication
After smashing the fourth cup of the day, Bucky slammed the cupboard door hard enough to bring the whole thing crashing down and screamed in frustration. Steve and Clint ran in to see what was wrong and when the blond saw the tears in Bucky's eyes, he asked Clint to fetch Tony and give them a moment alone.
"What's wrong, Buck?" Steve asked.
Bucky grimaced as his metal hand twitched. "I'm not sure, the new arm isn't responding properly. Either it's too strong or it twitches and hurts. I was gonna go see Tony this morning but he's been in video conferences all morning."
"Buck, come on, you and I both know that if you interrupted a meeting because you were hurting he'd drop everything to help. What's the real reason you haven't been to see him?"
The former assassin rubbed the back of his neck with his flesh hand and looked away, a flush colouring his cheeks. "I'm having a real hard time keeping my hands off him and Tony already said he wants to take it real slow. And I get it, of course he wants to do that. The fact he can even stand to kiss me is a miracle, Stevie. But Christ, I love him and I can't even tell him."
"Can't tell who what?" Tony asked as he came around the corner, worry in his hazel eyes. "Your arm giving you shit, Bucky? You should've just come down to the lab, the meetings would have waited."
"You were busy, I didn't wanna get in the way of your work."
Tony grabbed his metal hand and flattened their palms together, linking his fingers with the cool metal ones. "Come on, I'll have a poke around. Might be a wire crossed somewhere."
Blue eyes slid closed at the contact and opened to see Tony frowning at him, mouth turned down and hazel eyes staring at him. Bucky felt the fingers linked with his squeeze but he didn't squeeze back for fear of crushing Tony's hand. "Buck?"
He shook his head and forced a smile to his face. "It's fine, I'll just come down when you're done with your meetings."
Gently extricating his hand from Tony's grasp he started for the doorway, stopping only when the smaller brunette called his name. He turned to face him and was met with a sad Tony. "If you don't want me to look at the arm, Bruce is more than capable if you prefer?"
Christ...how was he supposed to tell Tony that having Bruce do his arm would be easier? Their relationship had been progressing well, movie nights were spend wrapped in each other, sharing soft kisses and bites of food. And, somewhere along the way, Bucky had fallen in love with the genius.
But he couldn't do it. "No, doll, I'm fine with you sorting my arm out. I just didn't wanna make a nuisance of myself."
The blinding smile Tony gave him was worth the pull at his heart. Might as well soak them up because when Tony realised what they shared now was no longer enough for Bucky, he was sure to call an end to their romance.
He cocked his head to one side. "What's going on, soldier? You've been growing more distant with me daily. Is this your way of telling me you want to call it a day?"
Before he could stop himself, Bucky reached for Tony and cupped his chin with his flesh hand. "No, dollface, of course not. I absolutely do not want to call it a day. Come on, let's go fix my arm and put that big brain of yours to good use."
He pressed a soft kiss to Tony's lips and bit back a moan when the genius moulded himself to Bucky's body. "My brain is always put to good use," he snarked, teasing.
Bucky allowed himself to be towed down to the workshop where Tony hooked him up to a computer and asked FRIDAY to run the necessary tests. The mechanic clicked through a series of pages and commands, tongue caught between his teeth as he worked and it gave Bucky time to drink him in fully.
Although not very tall, Tony was all leg, slender but powerful, fast. His stomach had gotten a little softer lately, less definition and Bucky loved it. Dark hair that was slightly grey at the temples, longer now and starting to curl around his ears.
Even though Tony was focused on the computer screen, Bucky knew his eyes well. The way they would light up when he talking about something he was passionate about, eyes always sparkling, whether it be emotion or excitement. Full lips that could offer the most breath-taking smile, or hide a tongue that could cut you deeper than any blade.
His heart stuttered in his chest a moment, and he raised his flesh hand to press against it. The idea that Tony would one day no longer want him was heart-breaking. He was so deeply in love with Tony it was insane, they'd done nothing more than kiss and fondle and yet the soldier was head over heels for the man.
Gaze dropping to look at the strong thighs that had wrapped around him when they'd kissed in the kitchen. The vee of Tony's thighs was probably Bucky's favourite place to be, thighs around his hips and holding him in place as they kissed until they were panting for air.
Hands with slim fingers, capable of the most wondrous magic when it came to engines or robotics. Those fingers that flew over the keyboard had created his arm, stroked his hair and soothed him when his memories had been too much, and stroked him through his pants until he'd gasped his release.
"My eyes are here, soldier," Tony said, smirk on his lips. "What's on your mind?"
Bucky smiled. "Nothing, just admiring my view."
While the computer took its readings, Tony hit a last command then slid into his lap, roping his arms around Bucky's neck and nuzzling his cheek. "I missed you."
"I saw you just last night, Tony," he chuckled.
"Yeah, that's hours ago! I need constant attention or I wither and die!" Tony cried dramatically.
"Constant attention, huh?"
Tony nodded and brushed his lips across Bucky's, nipping at the bottom one, eyes sparkling with mischief. "We've got about five minutes before the computer is done, what's betting I can get you off before then?"
Damn near choking on his tongue, Bucky inhaled sharply and felt his cock grow hard in an instant. Tony looked down at his lap and winked, wriggling on his lap and making Bucky moan lewdly.
"God, Tony, the things you do to me," he groaned.
"That a yes, Bucky bear?"
He shouldn't say yes. He should be distancing himself from Tony in preparation of the inevitable break up, but one look into those bright, hazel orbs and Bucky was lost. He cupped Tony's chin in the fingers of his flesh hand and drew him in for a soul searing kiss.
A hot, calloused hand wrapped around his dick and Bucky let his head fall back, thinking the hardback of the desk chair, and groaned. When the hell had Tony managed to get his pants off?
"Fuck, Tony," he croaked.
He could only stare as Tony brought the hand that had been wrapped around him to his mouth and licked his palm, coating it in saliva, and slid it around his cock once more.
"Four minutes," Tony whispered, then hopped off Bucky's lap and sealed his lips around the head of his cock and sucked.
Those plump, red lips descended down his length until he the back of Tony's throat, and he bit out a curse when the genius swallowed around him and he slid deeper.
His flesh hand tangled in Tony's hair and held on, not pushing or pulling, just gripping the silky strands. Tony's mouth was sinful, his lips soft and warm, tongue wet and throat tight. There was no need to glance at the clock to see if Tony would manage his challenge because three swallows later, Bucky growled and came down Tony's throat, hips bucking and cock pulsing.
Tony pulled off once Bucky had stopped spurting and licked his lips. Bucky surged forward and kissed him hard, shoving his tongue in Tony's mouth and swallowing the heated moan from him.
"Jesus wept, Tony! You could kill a guy with that mouth," he growled, chasing more kisses.
Tony laughed and climbed back in his lap. "Ninety seconds, that's gotta be a record."
Bucky winced. "Yeah let's not tell anyone about that, okay? Not my finest moment."
"I disagree."
The computer beeped and Tony read the information displayed on the screen. He did some things that Bucky definitely was not able to follow, and popped the tiny hatch on his arm that held the main chip.
He plugged it into a reader and ran an update, clicked it back into the arm and ran a few basic reflex response tests with Bucky. It no longer hurt and Bucky grinned widely at him. "It feels great, Tony! Thank you!"
"You're welcome, it's nearly time for dinner. Afterwards, you wanna crash in my room?"
And there it was. The thing that hovered over them. Bucky always refused, remembering that Tony wanted to take it slow, but now he asked almost every night for Bucky to stay with him.
"We…not tonight, Tony."
The brunette's smile dimmed. "Okay." He turned back to the computer then swivelled right back around, face angry. "Why the hell not? I've been asking you nearly every goddamn night, for weeks, to come stay with me. Jesus Bucky if you're really against us having sex yet we can just cuddle, sleep wrapped round one another. If you only ever want hand job and blow jobs then I'm happy with that, but don't string me along just so you can leave me later on!" He cried.
Bucky's dark head shot up, a frown marring his face. "What? No, Tony! God no! I'm scared you're gonna leave me! Jesus Christ, I don't even know how you can stand to touch me knowing what I took from you! I'm still waiting for you to realise you've made a massive mistake and end this," he gestured between them both. "And I'll just be left in the dust, my heart broken."
Hazel eyes saddened and Tony reached for him. "Buck, no, never. I know we got off to a rocky start and I wasn't ever fair to your, but I made my peace with it. It was never your fault and I should have come to that conclusion much sooner than I did. It's done and I can't change it. I'm happy with you, soldier. I wish you'd realise that."
When Bucky didn't take his outstretched hand, Tony dropped it. He muttered something about work and disappeared from the 'shop. Bucky was left standing there wondering if he'd just brought about their end.
Tony was at his wits end by three days of barely seeing Bucky, the soldier almost actively avoiding him and going so far as to leave any room Tony was in. It was like when Bucky had first arrived at the Tower and he'd treated the former assassin in the same manner. It hurt to be on the receiving end of this kind of treatment.
Three days he'd gone without so much as a kiss and Tony was going crazy with want. And not even sexual want, he just missed being held and softly kissed. He'd tried more than once to initiate a conversation with the soldier but Bucky always looked so scared and forlorn that Tony's words had died in his throat.
He couldn't work out what had changed in the time since they'd been moving forward. Sure, their kissing and groping sessions had moved faster than he'd expected but he wasn't against it. He was perfectly happy with the pace they were taking and if anything, he was absolutely ready to bring Bucky to his bed. After all, the soldier had already taken up residence in his heart.
The team had taken to avoiding him lately, every time someone tried to speak to him, his answer was waspish. He didn't mean it, and he was pretty sure they knew it, but they pretty much kept a wide berth now. Even Steve was concerned for him, trying to get him to just talk to Bucky.
"There's no point, Steve. He's all but given me clear signals that he wants nothing else to do with me. He leaves the room if I enter, and he looks at me in a way I just can't comprehend because he's the one that backed away from me. I thought maybe he just wasn't ready to...well, move further in our relationship, if you get my drift, and I said just sleeping next to each other was enough for me. Fucking hell, Steve, I went and fell in love with him and he goes and breaks my fucking heart!"
Tony walked away, well, stomped away, and all but snarled at Clint when the archer was in his way. He hoped the man didn't take it to heart but he also couldn't find it in himself to care. There was a bottle of scotch in the workshop that had his name on it, and he planned on enjoying it.
On the way to the elevator he passed Bucky, blue eyes sad when they landed on him and Tony pointedly shoved some shades on his face and carried on his way. The sharp intake of breath almost made Tony's step falter, almost.
He rubbed his chest, the deep ache awful and it made him miserable. How had they gone from Tony being so ready to have Bucky in his life, to the man doing everything possible to avoid him? When did it go so badly? Tony had been so sure, once upon a time, that he'd want nothing to do with the soldier. Ever. But then soft eyes, warm smiles, little moments together, and slowly but surely, Tony had enjoyed Bucky's company more, made more allowances in his life for the man, and eventually, he'd fallen head over heels in love with Bucky.
So, why then, was he being so difficult? Why was he being so hurtful? It frustrated Tony, made him pull on his hair and growl in anger when he couldn't make sense of it all.
He didn't know how long he'd been working before Tony realised he wasn't alone in the workshop. The scotch sat on the table, unopened, but Tony had been tempted a few times to drain the bottle in one go. He glanced around until he spied Bucky leaning against the glass wall of the workshops, arms folded over his chest. "I don't want to end things," he murmured.
Rage tore unexpectedly through Tony and he stood up so fast his chair shot back and crashed into a wall. "Oh, you don't? Funny, the behaviour you've displayed over the last three days suggests otherwise, Barnes."
The soldier flinched at Tony's use of his surname, something he hadn't done since they'd been at odds with one another. "I know. I'm sorry, doll."
Tony shook his head. "No, you don't get to use your pet names with me after the way you've been with me. You've done everything to keep away from me! I have every right to be angry and hurt!" He yelled, swiping a hand over his eyes when tears spilled. Fuck, he hated crying.
The soldier took a step forward, holding up his new metal arm and curled his fingers at Tony. "I know, Tony. I've been an ass, and I'm sorry. I thought...I thought that if we took another step forward that you'd wake up and realise I wasn't good for you. I took so much from you, I took your parents, your happiness, your life, I took everything when I did as HYDRA commanded and I don't know how you can stand to touch me."
Against his better judgement, Tony placed his hand in Bucky's outstretched one and tapped his fingers along the palm and up to the wrist. "That's nonsense and you know it. It took me months to even stand to be in the same room as you. Just the other day I had your dick in my mouth. If there was ever a time I wasn't going to be sure about us, Bucky, it would have been after having you come down my throat."
A light flush creeped over Bucky's cheeks. "Yeah, I probably shouldn't have let that happen."
Tony pulled his hand back like he'd been burned. "So, you had doubts even then but let me suck you off? What the fuck?" He yelled. "Jesus fucking Christ, Bucky! If you aren't sure we have a future together then fucking walk away now. I don't have time to listen to your internalising and wait for you to shatter my heart."
Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "No, Tony, I just meant that I should have made sure we knew where each other stood before letting that happen. There is no part of me that is trying to hurt you, Tony, Jesus Christ I..."
A frown marred Tony's head when Bucky trailed off, an uncertain and shy look in his eyes. Tony realised that he was going to have to take the leap in this situation and pray it payed off, otherwise he was absolutely going to be nursing that unopened bottle of scotch. "Buck...what's going on? Huh? We've spent all our time together recently and now it's like even being in the same room as me is torture. You are breaking my heart, Bucky. I love you and no matter if we never make it all the way I don't care. I just wanna be with you."
Blue eyes shot to his and widened impossibly. "What did you say?"
Tugging his hair in frustration Tony growled. "I'm not gonna keep repeating myself, Bucky. I fucking love you and you're breaking my goddamn heart, you asshole!"
The former assassin, let out a soft 'oh' and then threw his hands up to stop Tony's tirade when his face went red in fury. "Tony...I love you too. I was...I didn't think you'd return it so I distanced myself, thinking it would hurt less if you already thought we weren't gonna work out. It was a shitty thing to do, doll, and I'm sorry. I fell for you and didn't know how to deal with it."
Rolling his eyes, Tony crowded Bucky against the worktable at the soldiers back and tangled his hands in the thick, silky strands of his hair and yanked him down for a brutal kiss. "You're a bloody idiot sometimes, Snowflake."
Then proceeded to kiss Bucky until the man's knees buckled and Tony had to shove him back onto the table, the metal arm sweeping out and shoving everything to the floor. "So, I guess now is a good time to say that just the kissing and hand jobs is nowhere near enough anymore?"
Laughing, Tony stood between his knees and pulled at Bucky's Henley until he wriggled out of it, baring his chiselled chest and abs, the thick scaring where flesh met metal drew his gaze and Tony worried the area with kisses and nibbles, making Bucky whine with need. "That's what all this was about? You thought I wanted to keep going slow?"
Bucky nodded, a flush creeping up his neck. "Yeah, I was worried about pushing you and it all just kinda spiralled outta control."
He pushed at Bucky's chest until he laid down on the worktable and climbed up, straddling his hips. "In case you hadn't worked it out already, I am very much okay with stepping things up," he purred and captured the taller man's lips in a kiss again, grinding down against the hardness in Bucky's trousers.
"You're nuts, I've been going out of my mind trying not to push you," Tony said between kisses and nips. "Then I'd catch these little looks you'd give me, like you were undressing me with your eyes."
"Pretty much wished for x-ray vision every night," Bucky laughed.
Tony bit his neck lightly and soothed the skin with his tongue. "Oh, god, I'd have stripped for you in a fucking heartbeat, screw who'd been there at the time. I wanted to rip my clothes off and pounce you, especially when you were all sleepy-eyed in the mornings and voice all scratchy and growly. I spent every morning awkwardly eating breakfast and willing my dick to go down."
He sat back enough to be able to get his hands on Bucky's belt, tugging the leather from the belt loops of his jeans and unsnapping the buttons with ease. Tony hopped to the floor and pulled the Soldier's jeans, boxers and socks off in one go, his mouth watering at the sight of Bucky's hard, thick cock bobbing. Bucky leant up on his elbows in time to see Tony literally tear out of his clothes and swallow Bucky to the root, leaving him winded and gasping.
His brain could formulate no words, all coherent thought utterly annihilated in the assault on his senses that Tony was performing. From seemingly nowhere, Tony pulled a bottle of lube out, slicked up his fingers and slid one into Bucky, ears pricked for any sounds of distress. Instead he was rewarded with a lewd moan and canted hips.
Tony increased the pressure his mouth had around the former assassin's cock and slid a second finger in quickly. Silken heat sucked him deeper and Tony searched for the nub he knew would drive Bucky wild. Suddenly the cock in his throat was shoved deeper and Tony took it, moaning, the vibrations travelling down Bucky's dick and then a scream reached his ears as the other man shot his load down Tony's throat. When Bucky pulsed no more Tony pulled off, fingers still buried in his ass.
"Sorry," Bucky mumbled, sheepish. "Gimme a sec and I can go again."
Tony burst out laughing and walked around the worktop, kissing Bucky upside down and lightly stroking himself, his own cock twitching impatiently. "Oh I am gonna have so much fun testing the limits of that serum," Tony teased.
When he spied Bucky hardening again he returned to his place between his lover's legs and pushed his coated fingers back in, adding a third until Bucky was begging him for more. "Please, doll, I need you! Want you to fuck me through this table!"
"Your wish is my command." Tony lined up and slid home, barely giving Bucky the chance to adjust before he was pulling out almost completely and slamming back home. Bucky screamed for him in the most delicious way, begging for more, chanting his name, hands desperately fumbling for purchase on something other than fresh air.
It didn't take long before Bucky was babbling nonsense interspersed with pleads to come. Tony wrapped lube-sticky fingers around him and jacked him off, hard and fast. Neither of them were prepared when Bucky's orgasm slammed through him, his ass clenching around Tony so tight he came with a yell, vision going white and slumping over Bucky's stomach, sticky with cum.
On shaky arms Bucky leaned up and carded a hand through Tony's messy locks. "We gotta clean up, doll. Anyone could waltz in and not to mention we're both too old to sleep on hard surfaces."
Tony snorted at the pun but reluctantly dragged himself off Bucky. "Crash with me tonight?"
The soldier lifted Tony bridal style easily and kissed him. "Just try and keep me away, baby."
