Dean watched Sam get in Eileen's car, promising to return after he cleared his head a bit, but Dean anticipated he'd be out well past sunrise. Without really knowing what else to do, he headed inside.
He was surprised by how quiet it was. He followed the distant sound of quiet talking to the kitchen.
Eileen and Donna both looked up, and gave a small soft smile over their drinks.
Donna gestured to a second bottle of whiskey on the counter, a fuller twin to the one between the two of them. "Can horsemen still get drunk?"
"Your guess is as good as mine." Dean countered.
Eileen caught his eye. "Sam?"
"He went for a drive." Dean replied. "Took your car."
"Figures." She rolled her eyes. "Drink with us."
Dean considered for a moment before hopping up on the counter, choosing to keep what he considered a safe distance away. "An offer I cannot refuse."
Donna gave a small smile. "We were just cracking into the old "this one time" stories."
Dean opened his bottle, pouring out a generous amount. "Sounds about right."
Eileen leaned back against the wall, bringing her legs up to stretch across the other benches. "I only hunted with her twice. She backed me up on a couple in South Dakota." She turned her glass in her hand. "Wouldn't have made it out without her."
Donna nodded. "Sort of her specialty." She murmured. She looked up at Dean. "You knew her first."
"Yeah." He leaned back. "For a few years before she met you." He shook his head, his mind flashing back to their first meeting in that diner. "It was a rough case all around."
"She'd talk about it sometimes." Donna said. "She didn't just sweep it under the rug." She looked down, voice growing a little distant. "She always… she had a good head on her shoulders."
"I always admired how she handled it." Dean admitted. "She never let hunting take her over. After something like that… most hunters start that way, but it eats them alive."
Donna's expression softened. "I think she would have… without Alex."
Dean took another drink. "Yeah."
"She did what she did for family. She made her own, and we-" She cut off, feeling her face grow hot, fighting the prick of tears behind her eyes.
Eileen leaned forward, resting a hand on hers.
"Thank you." Donna said softly. "I just miss her, you know? Already."
Dean closed his eyes.
"How soon after… I mean, how soon before she was hunting?"
"Not too long." Dean admitted. "Helped Bobby out of a few binds." He smiled. "She had surgery… her doctor was a monster. She watched him eat her roommate. Got herself out of the hospital drugged out of her mind, fresh stitches and all. Called Bobby to come get her… uh, the Bobby from this world." He finished his glass, absently reaching to refresh it.
"Sounds like Jody."
"She was the one who figured out that borax burns Leviathans. On accident, but still. After that, well. When Bobby died she helped us on a few cases. Saved my ass a couple of times too."
"And then she found Alex." Donna concluded, finishing her own glass and following suit.
Eileen looked up. "What happened with Alex?"
"Let's just say her family was a little blood thirsty." Dean said. "After we finished them off, she didn't have any family to return to…"
"They found each other." Donna finished as soon as Eileen looked back at her. "Then Claire when her mother died. Then Patience… Kaia…" She sighed. "Me."
Dean looked into his glass. "Us too. I mean… we always knew we had her if we needed to talk…"
"She built this family from the ground up." Donna agreed. "Without her I think a lot of us would still be lost."
Dean held up his glass, giving half a silent toast to her memory.
The sheriff emptied the last of the bottle, standing and not hesitating to get another one. "It was her idea to head out here. Garth called; He was setting up a network, trying to see where everyone was." She settled back down across from Eileen, mirroring her in leaning against the tile. "Patience is starting college, Alex just got done with hers. Sort of seemed like the right time, ya know?"
Dean looked at her.
"Claire was pretty shaken up after Cas died. And then you… a change of scenery was what everyone needed. She found work at Smith Center. I got something a couple towns away. It was supposed to be a fresh start."
"Donna-"
She blinked, a few tears finding their way down her face. "We've only been here a few weeks. She hasn't even unboxed everything in her room."
"I'm so sorry."
"Yeah." She whispered. "She's in heaven?"
"I took her there myself." Dean assured her. "Jack woke up her family when she got there."
"Owen?" Donna asked, a small smile crossing her face.
Eileen signed "who?"
Dean nodded. "Her son." he explained. "She says she better not see any of you there any time soon."
Donna laughed slightly, ending in a rough sniff as she tried ineffectively to wipe at her eyes. "That's Jodieo."
Eileen reached across, taking her hand again and giving it another reassuring squeeze.
"I don't know what we'll do now." Donna admitted. "It feels like… the house was supposed to be with her, ya know?" She shivered slightly. "I'm not sure any of us are ready to go back just yet."
"Well… it isn't exactly mine to offer, but you know that Garth is going to extend an invitation for as long as you need."
"Yeah." She took another long drink. "That's good. We… we'll need it."
Eileen leaned forward. "Sam and I are going to stay for a while too." She said, "We talked about it. This case is sort of…" She tried to think of a better word, but settled on "big."
Donna frowned, clearing her throat. "Yeah… what in the heck were those things?" She asked.
Dean shook his head. "We got no idea. Best guess? Jack is running with something to do with him taking over."
"That could cause… that?" Eileen asked.
"Maybe." Dean said. "All sorts of other things got messed up. This… infection or whatever wouldn't be too far out there."
Donna looked sympathetic. "I didn't ask… how are you holding up?"
Dean gave a weak chuckle. "Aces." He said. He regretted looking at Donna as she pulled off a disbelieving look that was so clearly learned from Jody herself. "We're figuring it out."
"Figuring what out exactly?"
"With any luck, how to undo it." Dean admitted. "This whole, being Death thing. Let some poor reaper take on this gig. It's in their job description."
"Do you think that's possible?"
Dean winced. He took a long moment before he answered. "No." He said, letting his breath go. "I don't."
.
Just inside the woods, the pyre had burnt down to its last embers. Claire had been standing still, watching the flames die for over an hour after everyone left and she wasn't making plans on going inside any time soon.
Castiel stood watch from across the clearing.
When three a.m. had just passed, she finally stuffed her hands in her pockets, crossing the field and plopping down a few feet away from him without immediate comment.
Cas walked over, debating for a moment before sitting in the grass a few feet away. "Claire-"
"If you say sorry I am going to hit you with a rock." She said, picking up a sizable stone for emphasis.
Cas closed his mouth for a moment. "Very well." He said at last.
Claire put it down. "You didn't have to stay out here."
"You don't have to be alone."
Claire whipped her head up to glare at him. "I already am alone." She hissed.
"I just meant-"
"Yeah, I know what you meant." She fought down the anger for a second, though she wasn't sure how long that would last.
She reminded Cas of Dean; Hostility rising to the surface, a defense mechanism desperate to defend her from the despair that was threatening to choke her. She didn't know how to do anything else.
Claire was silent for a few minutes. "We never got to do this for dad." She said, tonelessly.
"I know." He breathed.
"We… you guys helped me with mom but… Dad was just gone. It didn't feel real. For years I kept expecting him to just come back… like he did before you took him over again." She rubbed at her eyes, struggling not to let herself cry. "How did… I never asked for details. How-"
"Claire-"
"I have a right to know." She said, her voice too tired to hold any bite.
Cas hesitated. "Lucifer…" He admitted. "Raphael attempted to destroy us completely, but God restored us." He tilted his head back, looking up at the hazy night sky and using it as a slight distraction. "When Lucifer was possessing Sam I attempted to distract him to get Dean a few minutes to reach him."
"What happened?"
"It worked… but he killed me the second he realized what I did." He closed his eyes. "I don't know why God decided not to bring Jimmy back that time… perhaps he thought it was finally time to allow him to rest."
"What, like it was a mercy?" She snapped.
"Being possessed by an angel… it is… unpleasant. I didn't know at the time…"
Claire looked away. "Was it quick?"
"It was instant. It was over before he'd ever have the opportunity to feel it."
She rubbed her hand over her knee. "Good." She mumbled.
"Jody-"
"Don't." Claire warned.
Cas let the silence settle in again.
"It didn't feel real… with Dad." She repeated softly. "This feels real."
"I know." He said again.
"Everyone leaves." She said, voice dry and resigned.
"Claire-"
Her tone snaps immediately to a desperate anger. "You left me." She accused. "I didn't even get to see you since my mother died, and all of the sudden you were dead or sacrificed or gone, whatever. And then Dean-" She cut off, taking a few breaths, trying to gather herself. "Out of nowhere. And we move out here… Jody-" Her voice breaks and she angrily wipes at the tears suddenly streaming down her face.
Cas just looks at her, sympathy reflected in his expression. "Claire-"
"She saved me… after everything with dad and- and mom... She saved me."
"I know." Cas said gently.
Clair sank down further in exhaustion. "I know I still have family." She said, "But she-" Her voice broke, suddenly small. "And it's all for me… My dad gave himself up to you because he didn't want it to be me. And mom got in the way of that sword. Jody was only out there to rescue me…"
"This isn't your fault."
"Yeah." She breathed, but she didn't believe him. She took a shaky breath, her expression flattening with record speed. She dropped that thought, quickly covering with another while she continued to try and gather herself. "I can't believe you're back…"
"I am sorry."
Claire ignored him, carefully tucking her emotions back behind a wall. "Yeah." She muttered.
They both sat in silence for a few minutes, and Cas watched her brush away the last of her tears and smooth out her features.
Once she was sure she had control of herself again, she took a deeper breath, changing the subject. "So how'd you and Dean end up with this gig, anyway?"
"Fallout from the transfer of powers in the universe."
Claire frowned just looking at him. "Right…" She ventured.
"I do not know what this means in the long run." Cas admitted.
"I bet it'll suck." She said earnestly. "Being Death can't be a riot."
Cas hesitated, but nodded. "I imagine you're right."
"Well… sorry then."
Cas looked up, hearing the rustling in the leaves as Dean walked into the light of the pale moonlight. He was carrying a tote bag and a rolled up blanket which he threw at Claire. She caught it, scowling at him for a moment before begrudgingly unfurling it and wrapping it around her shoulders.
"I came to check on you two."
Claire settled back against the tree behind her. "We were just talking about how terrible being Death is gotta be."
"Mmh." Dean huffed, rolling his eyes. "Sounds like fun."
"It's a funeral, jack-ass. Not supposed to be fun." She retorted, but her words had no bite and she finished them with a weak smile. "Where you been?"
"Tucking Sam in like a good brother."
"So, Drinking with Eileen?"
"And Donna." Dean admitted. He reached into the bag, pulling out a beer and handing it carefully to Claire. He grabbed one for himself and opened one for Cas. "Sam left for a drive a little while ago. Probably won't be back before dawn. Patience and Alex settled into a few of the spare rooms. Kaia is setting one up for you two when you're ready to head back."
Claire looked down to hide her widening smile when she heard Kaia's name.
"Sap." Dean accused, grinning wide.
"Shut up." Claire rolled her eyes. She watched Cas take a drink from his bottle thoughtfully. "You can eat now? Or drink?"
"I could always eat." Cas said simply.
"Yeah, but I mean, Dean once said you couldn't taste things. Like, some sort of angel thing."
"Death has its perks." Dean said, plopping down on a log and beckoning Cas to join him. "Not many of them, but at least food is in the mix."
Cas took a sip of his beer and pulled himself up off the ground.
Claire watched them for a moment in the dimming light. "I thought both of you were gone too." She said, voice softer than she wanted it to be.
"I regret staying away as long as I had." Cas admitted.
"I was mad at you for a while... Stopped sucking as much when you finally got the hang of video chat."
Dean looked up. "Oh, you taught him that? I was wondering how-" He managed to almost look guilty. "Not that it was surprising that you learned something new on the phone." He defended.
Cas threw him a quick glare before turning his attention back to Claire. "We can still video chat." He assured.
"You can teleport or whatever again. No more video chat, you're coming in person. You owe me that."
Cas gave a small smile. "Alright."
She glanced up at Dean for just a second before focusing back on the ground. "You can come too, I guess."
"Gee. Thanks."
Claire scuffed her shoe in the dirt. "So what are you two doing here?"
Dean frowned. "Paying our respects."
"No, you're here for more. It has to do with whatever was infecting all those things in the theater."
"Claire…"
"I deserve to know. If you're fighting it, I want in." She cut Dean off before he could refuse again. "I'm going to find out one way or another."
Dean deflated. "We don't know."
"What do you know?"
"It can infect angels, reapers, and demons." Dean said.
Claire stilled, putting the pieces together. "They were trying to turn a human… Jody she-" she broke off for a second. "They were trying to do it to her."
"We think so." Dean said. "We don't know what it is yet, or how it's spreading, but we're trying to find out."
Claire crossed her arms. "Could it be more fallout from taking out Chuck?"
"That's one of the theories."
Claire looked him in the eye. "Hey, next time you guys create another species, do you think you could make it a little less evil?"
Dean frowned. "We'll do our best." He glanced at Cas. "We'll figure out how to trap these guys."
"Trap them?"
"Our latest plan is to get them into purgatory." Cas said.
"Like the leviathan." Claire nodded. She caught Dean's sideways look. "Sam shared his journal with Jody. I read up."
Cas sat upright. "When Chuck was new at this, he accidentally unleashed the leviathan, and they laid waste to what little had been built so far. He created purgatory specifically to serve as a prison for them. We're hoping we could do the same."
"Was Jody-"
Dean nodded. "She was there with everyone, talking about them."
"What'd you name them?"
"What?"
Claire leaned forward to lean on her knees. "There's no way you didn't immediately name them."
Dean glared at her.
"The hollowed." Cas supplied, earning Dean's glare switching to him.
Claire laughed. "That's awful."
"It's a good name." Dean said, defensively.
"Sure, alright." Claire shook her head. "Jack can't just open a doorway to purgatory? Or you? I mean, you're Death."
"Opening purgatory isn't the hard part. Gathering them is." Cas explained. "We don't know how exactly they exist here, how they formed exactly."
"Or how many of them there are." Dean said under his breath.
Claire tightened her grip on her knee. "Oh."
"We're all working on it. We have a bunch of eggheads up there giving it all they've got."
Claire looked back in the direction of the bunker. "You have everyone here too now."
Dean smiled slightly. "Heaven, Hell, Earth, God, Death…" He scoffed. "I like our chances."
.
Everyone had settled into their rooms by the time they returned to the bunker. Dean hesitated, not quite sure what to do when Claire walked off to find Kaia.
"Do you want to stay?" Cas asked.
"I don't know…" Dean admitted. "I don't think there's really anywhere else I want to be more." Heaven slept now. Or maybe it always did. Something to pacify the human need for normalcy. Currently even those staying late at the roadhouse are asleep. And Jack was off doing (literally) God only knows what. Dean sighed. "We should head to my room. Don't wanna be too loud for people."
Cas didn't point out that the library was far enough away, the chances of interrupting people's sleep was low. Dean was burnt out. He needed some time guaranteed not to run into anyone. "Do you wish to be alone?"
"I really don't." Dean said, continuing out of the map room.
Cas followed. He watched the facade melt away in stages as they approached the familiar safety of room 11. By the time Dean shakily dropped into his desk chair, he looked years older than he had just moments before. Cas sat down on the seat across the room.
"Hey." Dean said quietly. He felt himself deflate, allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way he couldn't risk near anyone else.
Cas wished he knew of anything he could do to help. Dean had been giving himself away all day. Staying strong for Sam, reaching out to Claire, spending time with Eileen and Donna. He hadn't let himself mourn yet, and he didn't expect Dean to fully let himself even now.
"We just saw her." He breathed.
"It doesn't help." Cas said knowingly.
Dean leaned forward, burying his face in his hands for a second. "Not even a little."
Cas sighed.
"They don't get to see her… she's just gone to them." He shook his head. "And her… she has to be separated for who knows how many years, and when they do get there, she's going to know-" He cut himself off.
"It is unfair."
Dean hissed out a bitter laugh. "You can say that again." He closed his eyes. "I know we… we're going to have to take friends." He said. "Family… I just… I keep looking at them all, and I imagine it." He kept his eyes carefully on the wall, letting a part of his mind focus entirely on every detail in an attempt to keep himself from spiraling completely. "I imagine reaping Claire, and Donna… Eileen…" His voice wavers. "Cas, one day I'm going to kill my baby brother."
"You don't kill them."
"That's not what it feels like from where I'm sitting." He pushed himself to his feet, feeling a growing restlessness that he couldn't quite fight off. He walked over to the sink, taking a second to stare in the mirror before turning away again. "It's not like it is my first time losing someone. I've been to so many funerals."
"They never get easier."
"Aren't they supposed to?" Dean tried to summon the anger, but his voice broke on the last word. He froze in the middle of the room, everything he had been putting off crashing in on him like a tidal wave. "Can't it get easier?"
"Oh Dean." Cas whispered softly.
"Cas, I don't know what to do."
Cas stood, walking up to him and taking Dean's hands in his.
Dean resisted at first, but he let himself be led back towards the bed. He felt himself get pushed down to sit on the mattress. "Cas-"
"It may never get easier." Cas admitted as he knelt down and began to untie one of Dean's boots. "You haven't failed the ones you love."
"I never said-"
"I know how you see yourself." Cas reminded him gently. "And I know what you carry on your shoulders." He slid the boot free. "This isn't your fault."
"I want it to be." Dean admitted, pushing himself backwards as soon as his other shoe was off. He pressed himself back against the headboard, unconsciously drawing one knee up. "It's easier if it's my fault… or someone's fault."
"It is the fault of these creatures."
"That's not good enough." Dean objected. "They're a disease… we don't know where they're coming from, or how-"
"We'll figure it out."
"I keep… I keep telling…" He swallowed, trying to get the words to work. "Cas, I don't know if I can do this. If I can figure this thing out… or even if I can do what Death is supposed to do."
"You can… we can." Cas corrected. "You aren't alone anymore."
Dean opened his mouth to argue, but the fire finally died completely, leaving him cold and completely numb. "Cas-"
Cas watched him reach an arm up and he stepped back, quickly removing his tan coat and discarding it on the chair behind him. He stepped out of his shoes before climbing onto the bed next to Dean, pulling him close. "We can do this."
"I'm glad you're here, man." Dean breathed, turning his face against Cas' shoulder and breathing him in. "I wouldn't even be able to start without you."
Cas was careful not to say it was going to be okay. It was an empty promise, and one that even if it were true, wouldn't be believed. "I'm here." He simply assured instead.
Dean didn't say anything back, instead just pressing himself closer. He let the silence stretch on until it had settled in deep, and just let the sound of Cas breathing beside him be his rock.
