Cruising is fun, guys!


Chapter 8

Fact of the day: ramming am actual sea monster into an actual ship wasn't half as much fun as it initially sounds like.

Lyndon committed the mistake of hoping that this trip would go smoothly. It looked like it, though: the Twin Seas were calm (although slightly horrifying with its bottomless darkness and moonlit waves), there was no cloud on the horizon that would signal a storm, the sea monster was completely okay with having passengers on its scaly back, and Quiet was sleeping peacefully on the scoundrel's lap. Lyndon wished he could join the angel in this activity, but first he was determined to strangle some answers out of these seven jade figurines that were somehow possessing the beast.

Unfortunately, the statues had similar ideas too.

- We have questions! – they announced in Lyndon's head.

- So do I. A lot of them! – he retorted.

- That doesn't matter. Our questions are more important.

- Hell no! I'm the guy who is risking his life to keep Quiet out of the hands of the Nephalem hero! I need those answers to survive somehow!

- Bah, you clearly wouldn't know how to use the information.

- Are you saying I'm stupid?!

- Clearly, if you haven't consulted that insane amount of knowledge you have at your disposal… – grumbled one of the figurines in a flat tone.

Insane amount of knowledge? Oh… Oh, Cain's book! Crap!

Dragging a giant tome out of a dripping wet backpack with panicked hurry, while simultaneously making sure Quiet didn't wake up, wasn't the easiest thing to do in the world, but eventually Lyndon was successful.

Only to find the codex completely fine and dry as desert sand.

- What the—? – the scoundrel gawked.

- Ahhhh… protecting magic woven into the cover of the book. Very clever – the statues hummed. – The author wanted it to last, clearly.

- Cain, you genius bastard, you – Lyndon exhaled loudly, greatly relieved that he wasn't responsible for wrecking just the most important collection of writings in the whole world.

- Insane amount of knowledge. We told you so – the figurines snickered.

- I admit I forgot about it, but how the hell am I to find anything in it, if I don't know what to look for?! – Lyndon glared at them. – Do you have any idea how many things are in this?!

- Reading is good for you!

- If I had the time! – Lyndon snarled, before taking a deep breath. – Look, this doesn't get us anywhere! How about I ask a question, you answer it, then you ask one and I answer it. Sounds good?

-… Yup – the statues finally agreed.

- Alright… First of all, what are you? – Lyndon exhaled loudly.

- We are the Seven! – the figurines proclaimed proudly. – We were created by the Eye and the Allfather, to protect and observe. At first, we were to keep watch over the Eye, but then… stuff happened. Lots of stuff.

- What are the—?

- A-a-aaa, our turn!

- Right. Sorry – Lyndon scratched his head.

- How did you find him? – one of the statues nodded in the direction of the sleeping Quiet.

- In the Realm of Hatred, during our raid there. We were looking for Mephisto but never found him. I stumbled upon this room of mirrors and him in the middle – Lyndon looked down at his charge. – He was much bigger than this, but he… blew up? Or changed shape? Hard to tell.

- Interestinnngggg – mumbled the statues.

- Right. So. Why do you keep calling him Eye?

- Because he is the Eye, of course!

- Yes, but what is the—?

- Our turn! – shrieked the figurines.

Lyndon had to bite down on a curse.

- Why do you run from the Nephalem? – one of the statues asked.

-… – Lyndon had to take a deep breath, before being able to answer. – She had been a great friend in the past… but something changed in her. She is different now, and not for the best. I… was told that I must keep Quiet away from her… whatever the reason may be.

- Sometimes it's better not to know the reason, for your own safety.

- Bullshit – the scoundrel snorted angrily. – How up to date you are in a situation can be a matter of life and death. I sure as hell know this.

- Rrright.

- My turn. What is the Eye?

Silence. Lyndon frowned, getting the distinct feeling that the statues no longer paid attention to him.

- Hey! I asked a quest—!

- Your captain played you for a fool – one of the figurines interrupted him.

- What?! – Lyndon whipped his head around.

In the dead of the night his vision failed him, but eventually he spotted distant lights dancing over the water, lights that there were definitely not from the moon.

- Is that—?!

- The Albatross clearly didn't wait half a day, like its captain had promised – the statues grumbled. – The rat has no honor.

- Are you sure it's that ship?!

- Yes. We sense a great power on board.

- You mean Johanna.

- Aye, she is there. With everyone else – the figurines spoke, dead serious this time.

- Can't this monster swim any faster? – Lyndon stared down at the scaly back in growing fear.

- Not much, no. Whatever lead we might be able to gain won't be enough. We will need to land far away from Kingsport not to raise attention, while she will sail right into the docks. You need to beat Johanna to Kingsport with much more time, if you wish to evade her effectively.

Lyndon wanted to pull out his hair in frustration.

- Alright, Seven! Now what?! – he barked angrily, stuffing Cain's book back into the backpack.

Once again, the statues didn't answer. The scoundrel stared venomously at the Albatross in the distance, silently cursing the captain's name a million times. Quiet softly whimpered in his lap, and only now did Lyndon realize he accidentally squeezed the angel with his hands in his agitation.

- I'm sorry – he hurried, letting go of him.

Quiet blinked several times, glancing around in confusion.

- Leendonn, bad? – he asked timidly.

-… Yes. Very bad – the scoundrel looked at the ship helplessly again. – The worst we had so far, in fact.

Quiet audibly gulped and hugged one of his arms close to his small chest.

- Lyndon, Guardian of the Eye, and Quiet, Origin of All – the statues suddenly spoke up in perfect unison, their voices grave and unwavering. – We regret to inform you that our servitude to you must come to end sooner than we have originally believed.

- What are you talking about? – Lyndon turned back to them.

- We have a plan. Our only option, perhaps.

- Oh thank the gods – the scoundrel let out a sigh.

- We are going to attack the Albatross.

- WHAT?!

The sea monster began to turn towards the light, picking up speed, letting out a low but powerful growl that rattled its entire frame.

- Are you insane?! – Lyndon cried out.

- While we fight, you two will sneak on board and steal one of the landing crafts – the statues explained, clearly focused on the growing shape of the Albatross.

- Johanna had killed the Prime Evil and Death itself! What is a sea monster to her?!

- Nothing. Clearly.

- You will die!

- We will. Absolutely. That is why we can no longer serve you two, despite our initial plans – the figurines said solemnly. – But our goal is to damage the ship. Maybe even sink it. That will buy you much more time than trying to race it to port.

Lyndon helplessly glared at the seven figures, holding Quiet close to him.

- This is a terrible plan – he tried weakly.

- Yes.

- Why can't you just drop me off somewhere on the other side?! I'm sure we can make our way to Westmarch—

- But you must go to the Nest of Wrath – the statues said firmly. – There is… someone there, waiting for you.

- Who?!

- A monster you involuntarily helped create. You must deal with her, before moving on. It is your duty, and it will help you get stronger on your journey.

Lyndon's throat dried out at this. He couldn't find the strength to argue as the words sank into his mind. He helplessly turned to the rapidly growing Albatross, its shape getting clearer and clearer in the night.

- You don't have to do this – he tried for one last time.

- We all have a duty to uphold in this world – the statues rumbled. – We had failed ours in the past, many times. In the end, we had to leave Mount Arreat in shame, with the Allfather's rightful anger upon our heads, dividing us for millennia. This is our one and only chance to make our mistakes right. Do not take it away from us, please.

Lyndon surrendered to his fate, casting his eyes on the back of the monster.

- I am… truly sorry – he mumbled.

- Don't be. We shall go out in a blaze of glory. Honor us by making sure you two survive and make it off the ship in time.

- Will do – Lyndon took a deep breath, as the Albatross' alarms reached his ears.

oooOOOooo

To be honest, this was almost completely like that one time when they had used a ridiculously huge battering ram to get inside the Pandemonium Fortress, and for some godforsaken reason, Tyrael and Johanna had thought it a good idea to stand on the ram while that was happening.

And just like back then, Lyndon couldn't really explain how the hell they have survived the crash.

The ship noticed the incoming attack minutes before it actually happened. Clearly most of the crew including the passengers had been sleeping, and now everyone was scrambling and the chaos only played into the sea monster's hands… fins, whatever. On its back, Lyndon prepared for the crash: he took up a crouching position, with the backpack and Quiet on his chest, and readied himself for being flung into the air upon impact. The plan was that they would fly onto the top deck of the ship, he would roll over his head upon landing and then dash for the nearest landing craft, trying to use the chaos to their advantage.

Of course it didn't happen like that. The sea monster rammed into the right side of the ship with all of its might, but for some dumbass reason, the arch upon which they began flying was much, much flatter than originally thought. The rapidly approaching wooden hull only allowed fractions of moments for Lyndon to helplessly scream "I WANTED IN!" in his head, before collision. The scoundrel screwed his eyes shut and he tried to twist his body around mid-air, somehow shielding Quiet from the worst of it.

He landed on wooden floor and skidded on his back. Eyes flying open, Lyndon found himself staring at a ceiling, arms crushing the bag against his chest. The ship shuddered with horrible power, jolting the scoundrel. He jumped to his feet and began running through the nearest door. His mind registered that he was inside the ship, maybe one deck under the main one, but refusing to acknowledge the fact that the wall behind him, the one he supposedly flew through, was completely intact.

He really didn't have time to freeze up now. He was on a sinking ship with Johanna, after all.

Lyndon threw himself in between some barrels as panicking, shouting crewmen ran past him. No one batted an eye on him, their current focus was on survival, instead of the passenger-list of their ship. Hauling the bag on his back, Lyndon set out again.

- Are you alright, Quiet? – he called out.

- Arriyt! Arriyt!

- Good. Hold on!

Lyndon desperately searched for the hatch that led to the main deck. Sailors running around like headless chickens, the insane rocking of the ship, barrels and other cargo bouncing around, and the general dread that Johanna could round the corner any goddamn time, all this made that task quite difficult. At one point, Lyndon's sixth sense flared up and he flung himself forward, skidding across the floor on his belly. Right where he stood the ceiling caved in, and one of the masts came crushing down, dragging the uselessly torn sail with it. Pushing himself up from the ground, Lyndon stared at it for a second, before jumping on it and finally climbing out onto the main deck.

Beyond the railing, the sea monster thrashed around, repeatedly bashing its entire body against the ship, roaring from the top of its massive lungs. Occasionally it raised its head and struck out, dragging a sailor into the water. Ropes and pieces of the masts rained on the heads of the crewmen, who shouted orders and called for weapons. Lyndon masterfully navigated in the chaos, vaulting over obstacles and evading others. He thought he spotted Eirena in the commotion for a brief moment, but thankfully the girl was swallowed up by the mayhem. As he ran, eyes fixated on the small boat resting on the deck, he noticed the captain to his right, shouting orders, standing just a bit too close to the railings.

Not even thinking, Lyndon changed course and stormed towards the treacherous man who failed to notice him until the very last second. The scoundrel jumped. Just before impact, their eyes met and Lyndon allowed and angry snarl to show up on his face. The captain wanted to scream, but by that time the scoundrel stomped into him with both feet, sending him tumbling over the edge.

Lyndon landed hard on his rear but he was safely on board.

- Should have waited out that damned half a day, mate – he spat as he stood up and rushed for the boat.

He couldn't fully believe it, but it looked like they would make it just fine. Nobody was paying any attention to them, most of the railing that would have stopped the boat from sliding off was gone, the sea monster was still alive and beating the hell out of the ship—

His sixth sense raised the alarm, but Lyndon barely had the time to act upon it in any way. The boat blew up right before his eyes, sending him flying backwards, blazing pieces of wood singeing his clothes. He smacked into the floor hard, the air was knocked out of him, Quiet crying in alarm on his back. Lyndon banged the back of his head into the wood and his vision swam, his skull filled with a dull ringing. Struggling to push himself up, he finally spotted the rapidly clearing form of Johanna in partial armor.

The Crusader was barreling down on him, fire-coated flails fluttering in the air like a flag in one hand, the other holding the well-known large shield.

- FOUND YOU! – she screamed, eyes glinting with mad light.

Lyndon scrambled back, terror grabbing a hold of him. On his back, Quiet frantically held onto his neck for dear life, wings flared up from behind his cape, clear as day. Johanna was upon them, like an avenging angel, she jumped over some debris in her way, weapon ready to rain down pain and death upon her former comrade.

As the flail came crushing down, Lyndon's last thought was safety.

There was a horrible stabbing pain in his guts that quickly spread across his body. The vision of Johanna blurred and washed away.

Then Lyndon blacked out and couldn't feel his head colliding with the dark sandy shore.


Alternative title: Shit Hits the Fan, Because of Course it Would.

This chapter was a bitch to get right. I had no idea how I could make it interesting, when it was supposed to be an info-dump. Then inspiration bitch-slapped me across the face during a dinner with my boyfriend, and I knew what my mission was.

Because what is a sea monster without a ship to wreck in the meantime, CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

Hope you guys enjoyed this one ^^