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Chapter 26 – Words of Hope
Something orange hurled itself at Amaya as she was locking her apartment. She stumbled sideways with the impact but managed to keep her feet. Disentangling herself from what she realized was Naruto, the auburn-haired Jonin smiled. "It's good to see you too."
The blond's grin made hers stretch even further. He hugged her again. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"So your training going well, I take it?"
"Yeah! Pervy Sage is great. He's helped me get really strong."
She ruffled his hair as she walked past and out of the building. "He is one of the Sannin, you know. He deserves a bit more respect than that."
"I'd give it to him if he wasn't an old pervert." Naruto followed her like a puppy at her heels. "So, where you headed?"
"The hospital."
"You going to visit that Genin who lost his team?"
Amaya glanced sideways at him. So that's what he wanted. The boy wasn't supposed to have visitors outside his family, Kazuma, and, at Kazuma's request, herself. "Yeah."
The young Genin didn't look at her. "Can I come?"
"I suppose so, as long as you promise to behave and be calm. Too much activity sets him off."
"I will. Promise." She could tell he wasn't done talking, so she waited for him to continue. "I don't know if I can do anything for him, but I think that if I lost Sakura and Sasuke, I'd want someone to tell me I wasn't alone, that everything would be okay again."
"Then you tell him that…. Did you know Sasuke left the hospital?"
The orange-clad ninja nodded. "I tried to find him once I heard, but I haven't had any luck."
"He's probably busy training. But you should be worrying about yourself. The finals are only three days away. Do you think you're ready?"
"I'm more than ready!"
"I know you'll do great."
The rest of their walk was quiet, though Naruto practically vibrated with excitement. Amaya could see he was trying to contain himself as they entered the hospital and went to the Genin's room. Hiroki was reclined in his bed,propped up by pillows. His torso was wrapped in bandages but otherwise he appeared healthy. A tray of untouched food rested on his lap.
The auburn-haired shinobi crossed the distance between herself and the young nin. She pulled up a chair. "How're you feeling today, Hiroki? Not hungry again?"
Kazuma's student didn't turn to look at her. He stared out the open window at the tree outside. She continued to talk to him until a nurse came in to take away his breakfast. Amya rose to follow the nurse. The Jonin glanced back at the boy's room. Naruto hovered outside, not sure whether to go in or not with Amaya gone. She returned her attention to the nurse who waited patiently for her questions. "Is he still not eating?"
"I'm afraid not. The I.V. is the only way we're able to get him any kind of nutrition, but no one can live off an I.V. If he doesn't start eating, he could kill himself."
"Has his sensei, Kazuma Izashi, been by to see him?"
The nurse nodded. "He came by last night and tried to get Hiroki to eat. Tried to get him to talk too, but Hiroki won't. His doctor's at a loss. We're thinking about asking Inoichi-san to come and see what he can do. Maybe he'll be able to get through to him."
"If you think that's necessary…. Well, thank you for the information."
Naruto watched Amaya-sensei leave with the nurse. He held back a moment until he caught her eye. When she turned back to the nurse, he figured that was permission enough. He slid the door shut behind him and took Amaya's seat. The blond shifted in his chair. "I heard what happened to your team. I'm..." His words died in his throat as Hiroki turned his eyes on Naruto.
The injured Genin's eyes were blank, dull, disinterested. The blond knew that look; he'd worn that expression enough. Hiroki didn't care about his life anymore. All that mattered were his failures, but he knew he could never atone for them. Worse, he would be alone. No one wanted anything to do with a failure like him. Hiroki's voice was soft when he spoke. "You're sorry, right? Go away. I don't want your sympathy."
"I know it seems bad now, but it'll get better. No one blames you for what happened."
"I was on look-out. It was my job to watch for the enemy. It's my fault Eiji and Kayo are dead."
Naruto clenched his fists at his side as he rose from the chair. "So what? You think they'd want you to give up and die? So you made a mistake. You're not perfect. Own it and move on."
"You don't understand," Hiroki said, bowing his head, clutching the sheets in his hands. "I don't deserve to live. I can't ever make up for my failure."
"Yes, you can," came the reply from the door. Naruto glanced over his shoulder to see Amaya leaning against the wall beside the door. She came to stand beside the young blond. "Your sensei asked me to visit you because he guessed you'd feel this way. I lost my team once too. I couldn't do anything to prevent their deaths. And from what your sensei tells me, you couldn't have done anything either, but if you insist on correcting something you couldn't control, if you insist on carrying this guilt with you, say goodbye to any chance you have at happiness. I know Kayo and Eiji have already forgiven you, so all you have to do is forgive yourself. Once you do that, you can move on. Yes, they'll always be a part of you, and yes, it'll still hurt. But you can live life knowing you did everything in your power to save them. Don't forget, though, that sometimes even our best isn't enough; the people you love will still get hurt. There's nothing you can do to change that."
Naruto laid his hand on Hiroki's. The injured shinobi lifted his head, his face wet with tears. The orange-clad nin gave him a smile. "You're not alone, either, no matter what you think. You have your family and Kazuma-sensei and me, if you'll let me visit."
Kazuma's Genin nodded and Naruto's grin grew. He began enthusiastically telling Hiroki all the things they could do together once he was better and promised to bring ramen on his next visit. Amaya knew her words had made an impression on Hiroki, but it was Naruto who got through to him. Naruto was truly amazing. She couldn't count the number of times she'd seen or heard of him being able to make someone take a second look at their life or to make a change for the better. He just seemed to have that effect on people.
An hour later, she corralled Naruto out of Hiroki's room, so he could eat in peace.
"Oh, I forgot to ask Hiroki what kind of ramen he likes," Naruto said, turning to dash back into the hospital.
She caught his arm. "You can't bring ramen to a sick person, Naruto. They need good, nutritious food while they heal."
"But I eat ramen when I'm sick. It never bothers me."
"Not everyone heals the way you do. Some fruit would be a better idea."
"Alright…. Hey, sensei, what you said to Hiroki earlier, have you ever said that to Kakashi-sensei?"
The auburn-haired woman frowned. "No, why?"
"I've only heard you use that tone with Kakashi-sensei, that's all."
The young blond left after that, leaving her to walk home with her thoughts. The more she replayed her words in her head, the more she realized the little speech she'd given Kazuma's student was what she most wanted to say to Kakashi, the words she hoped might finally get through to him. Perhaps…. Perhaps she'd been harsh on him. Maybe she underestimated him. After all, he had been drinking that night. And the two weeks she'd practically avoided him since must have done something to curb the desire she'd seen in his eyes and heard in his voice. Maybe the feelings she still held in her heart for him could be a positive force that allowed them to reach something they'd never had before.
They'd never really been just friends; they sort of skipped over that, partly because of Kakashi's personality and her own belief at the time that she needed that closeness to fill the void of her parent's death. Maybe friendship was the thing they needed right now. Genma wouldn't have a problem with it. And if he did, well, that was something he needed to sort out. No one would tell her who to be friends with, especially someone who said that all he wanted was for her to be happy.
By the time she reached home, she decided to give Kakashi another chance. She wanted him to show her he was still worthy of the place he held in her heart; she desperately prayed that he was.
