Chapter 19

After a long morning of list-making and phone calls, Jess was ready to take a break. Unsurprisingly, Rory was not.

"But Jess!" she insisted, as he dragged her out of Truncheon, "If you would just itemize the new release inventory by author name rather than chronology, your implementation would more impactfully effectuate the ideas you've put forth in your mission statement."

"Coffee. Now." Jess glared daggers at her until she relented, following him out the doors of Truncheon and onto the Philadelphia streets.

"So explain to me why you're suddenly so fascinated with the bookstore," Jess looked at Rory, meeting her eyes purposefully, "And also suddenly willing to take unplanned time off work."

"Jess, it's like you said last night. We're not kids anymore," Rory said, refusing to hold his gaze, but her voice growing stronger, "I don't tell everyone everything and have the same crazy perfectionist need to be working all the time and do everything perfectly. It's a part of maturing to calm down and level out, right?"

Jess looked at her doubtfully. "Rory, you're insisting that I change the way I stock my inventory so it better reflects the character of my business. Trust me, I can say without a doubt in my mind that your obsessive tendencies have not yet been completely obliterated. And you're right that you don't talk to your mom as much, but is that such a good thing? Your thing with her was always an important part to you."

"I don't remember you caring so much about my relationship with her when she was accusing you of being a thief, and worse things," Rory defended harshly, her muscles visibly tensing, "Since when do you care about that?"

"It's not about her," Jess corrected quickly, still determined not to bring up the recent progress in that area, lest Rory get the wrong idea, "It's just that I always liked you and whether or not I liked her, she was a part of the package. You're not just the girl, you're the girl and the mom and the grandparents and you have to either take everything or you end up like Louie."

Rory stared at him blankly. "Jess, I make about 40 pop culture references an hour and I still couldn't follow a word of that. Are you on something? Did you sneak an extra cup of coffee when I wasn't looking?"

"Only two," Jess smirked, earning a laugh from her, "You know what? Never mind. It's good for you to relax. I just hope you know that if you want to talk about anything I'm around."

"Why?" Rory asked quietly, "We aren't really friends. We can't be, after the way I was to you. Can we?"

Jess sighed, slowing down and turning towards her. "Rory, this is kind of a heavy conversation to have on the way to lunch."

"Well then let's head to a bookstore."

"Fair point, but I didn't think we were really going to address it. At least not yet," Jess replied.

"Why not?" Rory inquired, "You don't want to? Or think it's necessary?"

"Honestly, Rory, I don't know shit right now," Jess admitted, closing his eyes in exasperation, "I don't know why you keep coming here. I don't know what's going on with you. I don't know why you waited so long to come see me after everything happened and I don't know why you chose to at all. I am completely fucking lost as to what's going on in your head, and my ability to process those things is not aided by your strange new tendencies towards sleeping in and wearing all black and being relaxed and not giving a shit about some things. Not that there's anything wrong with those changes, but for someone with no actual background or understanding of what the hell is going on in your life or more importantly in your head, it can be a little challenging. So I was kind of planning to go with the flow until an opportunity organically presented itself to address just one of those many issues."

"If it bothers you, I can stop coming," Rory said, quietly, after a moment of silence, "I don't mean to mess with your head or anything. That is not at all what I'm here to do. And I'm sorry that I'm acting differently than you find normal or are comfortable with, but this is just how I am right now. I can't change that. But I can change the hanging out here thing. I don't know really why I'm here either. I just…am."

They walked into a small coffee shop type of place. After ordering their coffees, Jess exhaled and turned to Rory.

"I don't want you to stop coming here," Jess said, knowing that it was the truth and that it was time to be clear about it, "There are challenges. But whatever they are or aren't, on your end or mine, you were an important part of my life. You probably will be." At Rory's questioning look, he added, "Given your mom and Luke. Either way, you're someone who means something to me, and whatever shitty things either of us have done in the past, are done. I'm not saying we can be friends, or that it'll work out, or even that it will be comfortable or happy. You're right about the guys, you know they hate you and I'm not gonna lie and tell you any different. And they, amongst others, might think this is a romantic thing rather than an attempt to reconnect as friends. There is going to be criticism. And not just of me."

"I can take it if you can," Rory said, raising her eyes to meet his, "Jess, there are some things that I don't get and don't know but I keep coming here for a reason, and right now that's enough for me to think it's a good idea to keep doing it. Does that sound crazy?"

"For the girl I knew in Star's Hollow, yes," Jess answered truthfully, "But for me, and for whoever the hell she's become now, not in the slightest."

Rory grinned and he smirked. He knew this choice was going to cost him. He knew a lot of people would be confused and pissed, and he himself was a little bit of both. But he meant it when he said that Rory was an important part of his life, even if it wasn't in the same way now. And he could see something wrong with her that apparently the other peopl ein her life hadn't yet picked up on. That alone was enough to convince him that she should keep coming back, so he could make sure she was okay. Or, failing that, at least help her out when she figured out she wasn't and that she'd have to face whatever the hell was going on with her rather than avoiding it. Rory would need somewhere to turn, and for once Jess wasn't going anywhere.