Chapter 17

April 14, 1912

RMS Titanic

My father always had a way with words. It seemed as though he always had the perfect saying or response to anything anyone would say. I idolized him my whole childhood, just as I had with my mother. However, where I idolized my mother for her beauty, I idolized my father for his work ethic, his intelligence, and his power.

The feelings were never reciprocated. While I idolized him, he saw me as a foolish girl, a nuisance, really. I was useless to him in every way. Not to mention, I was constantly causing trouble and getting myself thrown out of school. When I was fifteen years old, shortly before he died, I was suspended from finishing school on account of my "misbehavior". The night I arrived back home, my father summoned me to his office.

I showed up at his office and he called me in. He scolded me that night, telling me that I only had one job: to get through finishing school in order to become a good potential wife.

"Rose, listen to me," he said, pacing, while I sat on his large leather couch. "You've been messing around your whole life. It's enough." He looked down at me. "The hands on the clock are spinning fast, Rose, and soon, they'll both hit twelve. And the carriage will turn back into a pumpkin."

I sat in my stateroom, sitting next to the window. Jack had spoken to me in the gymnasium a few minutes ago and given me the perfect opportunity to leave my life. However, I just couldn't take it. Both hands had hit twelve, and I had collapsed under the pressure.

There was a knock at the door, interrupting my train of thought. "Miss Rose?" It was Trudy, coming to let me know that tea had been served. "Your mother has asked me to- what's wrong?" She looked at me and could tell I was upset about something. Trudy knew everything about me, since she was the only one I could talk to. She was also one of my closest friends.

I explained everything that happened in the gymnasium as Trudy listened. Her hand had leapt to cover her mouth in shock. "I want to, Trudy. You know how unhappy I am here with Cal and Mother. It's just… it's impossible."

Trudy nodded, looking down. She knew how restrictive life was in high society, though she could never fully understand the extent. "But you deserve to be happy," Trudy said sadly. "You were so happy last night, after that party. And this morning, when Mr. Hockley flipped the table… I want you to be happy."

"I do too," I said sadly, wiping my tears. The hands on the clock both hit twelve. My father had been right all was time to make a choice. "Trudy, how do I make this happen?" I asked sadly. "How do I escape from Cal? How do I have the life I want? I'm not naive. I know this is a man's world. I can't possibly survive on my own."

Trudy smiled at me all-knowingly. She was only a few years older than me, but she carried such wisdom. We were opposites in many ways. I was a realist, understanding the difficulties and complications of the world, understanding my own limitations and restraints. Trudy was an optimist, seeing everything as black and white, in simple ways. Often, I dismissed her politely, explaining that it was "too complicated" for whatever solution she was offering me. I was well aware that there were no solutions to many of my problems. But this time… her solution wasn't naive or unrealistic.

"You need to go find him, and you need to tell him that you changed your mind." I nodded, standing up out of the chair. I smoothed out my dress, and Trudy wiped my tears. "You look beautiful," she smiled. "I'll make sure no one comes looking for you."

I hugged Trudy tightly. "Thank you." Trudy had changed my life, saved my life, in ways she would never know. I never had the opportunity to thank her, to tell her how much I appreciated her, to give her one last hug. She always told me that things would work out, that I'd make a wonderful wife and mother to whoever was lucky enough to have me. I hoped she could see me now.

•••

January 1, 1921

Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin

I walked down the stairs, dressed in a light blue dress. Jack bought it for me once the temperature really dropped. He bought me a few warmer dresses, long sleeves and thick, and they were of course much more comfortable than any of the dresses I traveled with.

I held the banister as I walked down the stairs. "Mia," I heard Jack's voice. I slowed down and took lighter steps, wanting to watch them without interrupting. I could see them once I had descended half the stairs, but they didn't notice me.

Mia was standing next to Jack with a book, her favorite book: Cinderella. Jack had bought some toys and books for her, wanting to provide her with some of her favorite things. I could tell by the way she was looking at Jack that she had asked him to read the book to her. "You know I'd do anything for you. But if I have to read that book one more time…"

I chuckled under my breath. Mia liked repetition; she often ate the same foods, wore the same dresses, and played the same games. Asking Mia to pick another book was futile, she'd just answer with "But I like this one!" I loved watching Mia pull Jack into some of her habits, the habits only I had been a part of before. He now was a constant visitor of her tea parties, a permanent resident of Wonderland, and a personal grilled cheese chef.

"But I want to read this one," Mia whined. She held the book out once again, tilted her head to the side and used her best little girl face. Jack wouldn't be able to say no, especially when Mia was using her best tricks. Jack and I often gave in, if she wasn't asking for too much. We knew that, even though she seemed to be doing alright, it couldn't be easy for her to be isolated, trapped and dragged away from her birthplace. If reading a book or playing a game gave her even an ounce of happiness, it was worth it.

Jack sighed and smiled. He lifted Mia into his arms and placed her on his leg. He often placed her there, balancing on his thigh, with his arm around her holding her steady. "Alright, hand me that book." Mia gave him a huge grin and handed him the book. Although it was a rather dark story, Jack censored it when he read it to her. I actually liked Jack's version of the story better than the original. Jack opened the cover and cleared his throat, starting to read. "Once upon a time…"

I smiled and sat on the stairs, listening to the story until the end. I didn't know how much time had passed; it could've been hours. "And then they lived happily ever after?" Mia asked. I chuckled under my breath as I listened. She always wanted to know that they lived happily ever after, even when she was little. Before I found Jack again, I often told her that some of the best love stories didn't have a happy ending at all.

Jack chuckled. "Of course they did," he answered. Only then did he look over and see me sitting on the stairs. He smiled at me before picking Mia up and placing her down on the couch. "Ready for a nap?" He covered her with a warm blanket and tucked it under her chin. Mia nodded tiredly, closing her eyes. "Sleep well, Mia." He leaned down and placed a light kiss on her forehead.

An ache filled me, washed over me, stabbed me like a thousand knives. Watching him take care of Mia, watching him read to her and play games with her and tuck her in made me want him even more. It made me love him even more, if that was possible.

Jack stood up and smiled at me. I waved him over, desperately wanting to wrap my arms around him and be in his arms. Unfortunately, a repetitive knock on the door interrupted us. "Police, open up!"

We exchanged terrified looks. "Jack," I couldn't say anything but his name. My hand covered my mouth, my breathing quickened, and my heart pounded in my ears.

"Hey, hey," Jack walked closer to me. "It's okay, I'll just look to see who it is." He walked to the window that overlooked the front door and moved the curtain out of the way. The moments while he looked out that window felt like a million years. Finally, he sighed, and walked back over to me. "It's my friends, they must have been joking."

I sighed in relief and cried in my hands. I hardened myself a moment later, forcing myself to be strong. Mia was asleep on the couch. Perhaps I could take her upstairs and hide. Or, if they were Jack's friends, maybe they would be understanding, maybe they would keep this enormous secret for Jack. "W-What do we do?" I asked nervously. "Jack, what do we do?"

Jack walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "He didn't find us, Rose," he whispered. "We're still safe." He kissed my cheek and smiled. "It's alright. It's my best friend David and his wife Bella. I've known them both my whole life. Th-they won't do anything to endanger your life or Mia's." He stroked my cheek. "Do you trust me?"

I let out one short laugh at that. Did I trust him? I had placed everything in his hands. I had trusted him with my life and with Mia's. I had shown him parts of myself that had never seen the light of day. "I trust you."

"Okay," Jack leaned over and kissed my cheek. He was about to open the door when we both heard a noise.

"There's noise coming from inside," it was a man's voice. David, if i had to guess. He started knocking louder on the door. "Jack, open the door."

Jack quickly walked over and opened the door, wide enough that they could see me, and I could see them. Standing in front of Jack was a tall, dark man, with dark brown hair and a short, thin beard. Next to him stood his wife, a medium height woman with medium brown hair and green eyes. "Hi, happy new year..." David looked at me, and I smiled politely. He turned back to Jack. "What's going on here?"

Jack looked back at me, then at David and Bella. "There's a lot to catch you up on."

•••

David, Bella, Jack, and I all sat in the kitchen. "So… who exactly are you? And… what are you doing here?" David asked. "I'm sorry if I'm being rude, I'm at a bit of a loss…"

Jack put down four cups of coffee and sat down next to me. He took my hand under the table, squeezing it gently. My heart was pounding rapidly. I was still on edge after thinking that Cal had found us, and I was just as nervous about the fact that Jack's friends now knew about us. "David, Bella, you remember how I came back here, what I told you about Titanic?"

David nodded quickly. "Yeah," he said slowly. "About the first-class girl you met and fell in love with, who saved you from the sinking but died…" he eyed me as he trailed off, and I suspected he had figured everything out.

"This is her," Jack looked at me and smiled. "This is Rose De-" he stopped short as he realized that Dewitt Bukater wasn't my name anymore. I was Rose Hockley, much to both of our dismay. Jack and I shared a heartbroken look. "This is Rose."

Jack went on to explain that Mia and I had fled the Hockley estate and that we had coincidentally found him. He explained that we were together now (my heart fluttered as he did) and that we would be staying here, hiding from Cal.

"Jack," Bella spoke now. She placed her mug back down on the kitchen table and looked at him. "What if he finds you? What if he comes here? I know you're not an idiot, Jack, so what's your plan here?"

I squeezed Jack's hand gently, trying to offer whatever support I could. "Rose and Mia have been here for over a month, and no one has found out anything. They stay here, around the house, and no one sees them or knows they're here. This plan… it's not ideal, but it works."

"I've heard of this Hockley guy," David said. "He's a serious guy, not the type to see his wife and child run away to another man and let it go. He could be hiring private investigators, getting information from the police, anything. And based on what you told me about Titanic, he knows who you are and knows you're a threat to his relationship. One look into the name Jack Dawson and he would know where to find you."

"He thinks Jack's dead," I said quietly. I had been silent in the conversation thus far, too busy worrying about everything. Perhaps David and Bella were right, perhaps this situation was a lot more dangerous that I ever realized.

"Be that as it may," David continued. "He'll see records more recent than Titanic. He'll see that you were sent to Europe to fight in the war, he'll see hospital stays, bank accounts-"

"What if this were Clara?" Jack interrupted. Suddenly, a somber mood took over all three of them, all at the mention of Clara, who I had heard nothing about. "What if you had the opportunity to save Clara? I know you would do it, even if it put you at risk. You loved her, I know you did. And if she showed up at your doorstep, alive, with a small child and no place to stay, you would've done exactly what I did! You would've taken her in and promised her that everything would be alright!"

David had nothing to say. He looked down at his feet, not saying a single word. Bella was the first to speak. "Jack, I know we would all do the same thing for the person we love, but… as your friends, we have to tell you that this is dangerous."

"I know," Jack said. "But it's worth it. It's a risk I'm willing to take."

•••

David and Bella left a little while later. Jack had been rather quiet the rest of the day, and I let him have time to do whatever he needed to do. I didn't ask about David and Bella, I didn't ask about Clara, who I guessed had died at some point in Jack's past. I took care of Mia for the remainder of the night: cooked dinner, read a story, and put her to bed.

Now, it was around eleven o'clock, and Jack and I were both getting ready for bed silently. I wanted to break the silence at the right time, and I wanted to ask my questions in the right way. The longer I waited, the more time I had to talk myself out of asking any questions at all.

I was sitting at the vanity brushing my hair. I looked through the mirror at Jack, who had just put on one of his warm night shirts. He ran his hands through his hair, then walked towards the bathroom. On his way, he stopped behind me and gave me a light kiss on the cheek. At least I knew, no matter what he was wrestling with, he always loved me.

As he went into the bathroom, my mind wandered. I knew Clara was with David, not Jack, yet he was saddened by the mention of her name. I wanted to know, though I didn't want to push him.

We climbed into bed at the same time. Jack faced his own side, not saying a single word. My heart broke seeing him so upset, and I didn't know what I could do to help him. I shoved aside all my fears and hesitations, and I leaned over and placed a light kiss on his cheek. "Jack, are you alright?

He rolled over to look at me. "I'm sorry," he whispered. I saw a tear run from his eye and hit the pillow. My heart broke, I had never seen Jack this sad before, and it wasn't something that I ever wanted. "I've been brooding all day, and I haven't given you any explanation."

"Shh," I wiped his tears and placed my hand on his cheek. "It's alright, it's alright. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I understand there are things that I don't know about, and it's okay to keep those to yourself."

Jack shook his head. "I want you to know. You deserve to know." He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. "Clara… Clara was my sister. She died with my parents." My heart broke instantly. I knew Jack lost his parents when he was young, but he also lost his sister. He lost his whole family. "David, Bella, Clara, and I used to be best friends. It was always the four of us together. David and Clara were in love. I thought they'd get married for sure. They probably would've, to be honest. He loved her so much, and she loved him. They were… they were like puzzle pieces that just fit. Bella and I always joked that if we were thirty and both unmarried, we'd marry each other." He let out a soft, sad chuckle. "Anyway, one night, I was with David, and there was a fire at the house. They all died. My mom, my dad, Clara. All at once. And just like that… my world collapsed."

I closed my eyes as a few tears left my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Jack," I kept my hand on his cheek, needing to have some sort of contact with him, and wanting him to know that I was there, to feel my touch on him.

"David's house is pretty close by. You could see the house on fire from his bedroom window," Jack continued. "David and I saw what was going on and ran over. My parents had already been pulled out, their bedroom was right at the top of the stairs, Mia's room. They were already gone, though. Clara's room was more isolated. Do you know that door that I told you was just a locked closet that I couldn't find the key for?" I nodded. When Jack gave me the house tour, he just approached that door, said that it was a closet that didn't open, and got quiet for a second before moving on. "That was her room. I just… I can't bear to go in there. I can't look at all of her things, half burned. I didn't really go into my parents' room either. But… you and Mia needed a room."

"You didn't have to do that," I whispered. "We could've stayed downstairs, or somewhere else."

"That's alright," Jack gave me a sad smile. "My parents… I was incredibly sad that they were gone, but they had already fallen in love, gotten married, had children. They already had a life. But Clara…" He trailed off, struggling to find the right words. "She was only getting started, and I was heartbroken that she died before she could experience all those things." I closed my eyes as I struggled not to cry just at the sight of seeing Jack this way and hearing what he and his family had been through.

"Anyway, once David found out that Clara was still inside, he ran in and tried to find her. He was severely burned and had lung damage from the smoke, but he managed to get her out. But… it was too late." He stopped talking for a second and squeezed his eyes shut. He suddenly started sobbing, and my heart broke.

I wiped a fallen tear from my eye. "I'm so sorry, Jack." I wrapped my arms around him and held his head against my chest. I stroked his hair, kissed the top of his head, and whispered that it was alright. Jack wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tightly.

"I wish they could've met you," Jack said a moment later. I shut my eyes, struggling not to cry for him. "My parents would've loved you, and Clara would've been fascinated by you and wanted to be your best friend." I smiled sadly. "And they would've loved Mia." He finally pulled away from me and wiped his tears. "It's obviously still… not so easy to talk about."

"I know," I whispered. "You don't have to talk about it anymore. Not if you don't want to." Jack nodded, wiping the last bit of tears. "But you can also talk to me about anything, anytime you want. Alright?"

He grabbed my face in his hands and gave me a kiss, one full of heartbreak and urgency. "Thank you," he whispered into my mouth. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him again. "I love you."