Chapter 23
December 10, 1907
Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin
I had a rather simple life. Some people may have looked at it and seen only cold winters where we all huddled in front of the fire, or my mother and father sitting at the dining room table with the bills and expenses, desperately trying to make ends meet. My family and I viewed it differently.
My life in Chippewa Falls consisted of spending time with my family, seeing my best friends, and drawing on whatever I could. I had all the freedom that I could ever need, even without money. Money complicated things, I thought. With money came responsibility, limitations, permanence. If I had money, I would be forced into a job I didn't want and into a loveless marriage. That wasn't anything I ever wanted.
If I had been forced to be a lawyer or a businessman, I wouldn't have been free to visit Lake Wissota today and draw the fathers and sons ice fishing. I had gone ice fishing when I was younger, but once I had fallen through some thin ice, I decided that my ice fishing days were behind me. Now, I was on my way home from drawing at the lake.
"Hello," I called in a sing-song voice as I opened the front door. I stomped my feet at the door and removed my shoes, which were covered in snow. I walked further into the house and found my parents standing in the kitchen cooking. My mother's laughter echoed down the halls, along with my father's indistinct chatter.
As I got to the kitchen, my mother turned to me and smiled. "Hi, honey," she smiled, brushing the snow out of my hair. Both of my parents were always so happy: I had never seen either of them in a bad mood for more than an hour or two, I had never heard them fight, and I never knew them to be anything but content with their life together. I admired that my whole life and thought that I was similar to them in that way. If I had air in my lungs and a couple blank sheets of paper, I was content. "I take it you went to the lake today?"
"Yes, I did." She offered me a bowl of soup, which I accepted. "It was lightly snowing, and… I just wanted to take a walk, get some air, you know." I picked up the spoon and took a bite. The heat from the soup warmed me up in an instant, and I sighed contently.
"Hmm… sounds like your father," she turned to my father, who looked back at the mention of him and just shook his head with a smile. My mother turned back to me. "Go take that soup into the living room. Clara's in there with David and Bella."
"Alright." I picked up my bowl and headed into the living room. I got there to find Bella sitting stretched out on the floor, propped up by her hands just behind her, and Clara and David sitting on the couch. David had his arm around Clara, whose head rested almost on his chest. I sat down cross legged next to Bella and playfully hit David's leg, a grin on my face. "What do you think you're doing? Get your hands off my sister!"
Clara jokingly groaned and David laughed. In retaliation, he wrapped his arms tighter around her, kissing her cheek. They both knew I was just fine with their relationship. After all, I knew my sister was in good hands with David, and I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to her. Not one person in the town didn't bet on those two getting married one day, and I could already picture it. Sometimes I thought the best way to define a word was through an example, not a description. If there was ever a way to define "soulmates," it was David and Clara.
"So, did you get any good drawings at the lake?" Bella asked.
"I'll let you be the judge of that." I slid my portfolio over to her and she picked it up, flipping through the pages.
"My God, Jack. How do you do this? I swear you'll be famous with these one day."
Clara grinned, "Yeah, he will be. Somehow all the artistic genes skipped me and went straight to Jack, but he's so good I wouldn't want to take any from him."
I rolled my eyes, "Oh, come on. I won't amount to a thing. These aren't even that good."
David raised an eyebrow, not willing to go without saying his piece, "Yeah, tell me that in twenty years when your drawings are hanging in the Metropolitan Museum of Art and all the girls are dying to be yours." Bella passed me back the portfolio and I smiled.
Not much later, Mother walked into the living room, wiping her hands on her apron. "Dinner is almost ready," she announced. "David, Bella, would you like to stay for dinner?"
"Actually, I'd better head home," David said, glancing at his watch.
"I'll walk you out," Clara said to him, and they both stood up.
Clara walked out of the living room first, leaving David to hit my shoulder gently. "Can you stop by my house later? I have something to talk to you about."
I knit my eyebrows and nodded. "Yeah, alright." I looked at him and nodded. "I'll stop by after dinner."
David gave me a crooked smile, "Alright, good, I'll see you there."
He walked out after Clara, who was waiting for him by the door. The second they reached each other, her arms were around his neck and his around her waist, pulling her closer as she whispered something to him before touching her lips to his in a light kiss and pulling away.
I smiled as I saw David go to kiss her again and I turned to Bella, not wanting to intrude on their moment. I offered her my arm to escort her to the door in a jokingly formal manner. Before I could say a thing, she said to me, "One day I want someone to look at me the way David and Clara look at each other, don't you?"
I laughed, "Of course. I'm sure we will in our own time."
She flashed me a playful grin, "What do you say… if neither of us is married once we're thirty, we go ahead and get married."
With the playful twinkle in her eye, it took me a moment to decide if she was joking or not, but something in her tone told me she wasn't, "You've got yourself a deal."
"Now you just have to get yourself married so you don't have to deal with me for the rest of your life!"
I nudged her arm, "Oh, come on, you're not that bad."
She grinned, "You say that now, but you haven't lived with me."
We reached the door as Clara and David were finishing their goodbyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" David said to Clara. She nodded, and David leaned over and kissed her cheek, which made Clara smile. "I'll walk you home, Bella."
David and Bella waved goodbye, and Clara and I waved back before going into the kitchen, where my mother was preparing dinner. "You like her," Clara said to me out of nowhere. "I can tell."
"Who, Bella?" I asked, and Clara nodded. "I like her as a friend, I don't like her romantically."
"Oh, come on, Jack." Clara rolled her eyes. "I see the way you look at her. The way you offer her your arm," she said in a fake romantic voice. I shook my head. "And I think she likes you too."
"She's one of my best friends, Clara. I look at her the same way I'd look at a friend," I replied, though I did wonder if there was something different about our relationship. She was my only female friend, so I had nothing to compare her to. Maybe Clara was right, maybe I did like her as more than just a friend. "And since when are you so obsessed with my love life? Don't you have your own relationship to worry about?"
Clara crossed her arms. "I'm happy, and I just want my little brother to be happy like I am." she pinched my cheek, the same way older members of my family did.
I freed myself from her grasp. "You're one year older than me. Maturity wise, we might as well be the same age," I answered, rubbing my sore cheek. "And I am happy. I don't need a girlfriend to be happy."
Just as Clara was about to answer, my mother walked over, holding four dinner plates. "Alright, you two, enough arguing," she handed me the plates. "It's time for dinner. Would you please set the table?"
That was the end of our discussion about the possibility of Bella and I. Clara and I started setting the table and then ate dinner with our parents.
Clara and I stood in the kitchen doing our nightly chores. "So you really don't want to fall in love with someone? To have one person who you love more than anything, someone you experience life with?"
"I don't know, Clara. I mean… I want to travel the world, I want to meet interesting people in interesting places, I want to make art and live every day to the fullest. If love is in my future, that's great. I just don't need to force it, to make something happen when it's not right." I placed a dish on the drying rack. "That's what you want, though… isn't it?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "I want all of that." She looked up at me, at the perplexed look on my face. I understood what she was saying, it was just different than what I wanted. "I want David to… get down on one knee and tell me that he loves me, ask me to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to marry him, in front of everyone I love. And… and I want children," she laughed, and I laughed too. "I still feel like a child, but…you know, one day." She looked at me, a smile still on her face. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like I'm crazy," she laughed uncomfortably.
"You're not crazy," I smiled, placing my hand on her shoulder. "You just want a different life than I do." I went back to wash the dishes. "But that's fine, you know? I'll come back from my world travels and be the best damn uncle to my nieces and nephews." Clara chuckled. "Just because we want different things doesn't mean I don't understand what you want or why you want it. And you'll have that, with David. I truly think you will."
Clara smiled and wrapped her arms around me, holding me in a tight hug. "Thank you, Jack."
An hour later…
I finally finished washing the dinner dishes and placed the dishes on the drying rack. I walked into the living room and found my parents on the couch talking, and my sister curled up on the other couch with a book. "Ma, I'm going to David's for a little while."
"Alright," she smiled at me. She jumped up from the couch and grabbed my face between her hands. "Be good," she arched an eyebrow, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Don't stay out too late."
"I won't," I promised. "I'll be back in an hour or two." I grabbed my coat and buttoned it to the top, waving before walking out the door. It was freezing outside, so I walked as fast as I could to David's house. I knocked on the door, and heard footsteps approaching the door.
The door opened, and standing there was David, looking even more uncomfortable than he did earlier that day. "Hey Jack, thanks for coming," he stood to the side to let me in.
"Sure," I answered, looking around awkwardly. I had been to David's house more times than I could count, but something wasn't right this time.
We talked for a while, just about life and school... and then Clara. At the mention of her, David clenched up and started acting strange again. That was when I finally asked what he had asked me to come here for. "So… what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked, removing my coat.
"Well…" he paused, wringing his hands. He looked at me nervously, then looked at the ground. He looked back up at me. "Would you like something to drink? Some tea? Water?"
"Uh… water, I guess." I had never seen David this way in my entire life. He was nervous, uncomfortable, and I had no idea why. I let David pass me a glass of water, and we sat in his living room. "What's going on?" I asked. "Seriously, you're not acting like yourself."
"Jack, I have to ask you something-" I spotted something through his window making my eyes grow wide and me jump up. I had been looking down for quite a while, and I hadn't noticed what was outside David's window. David stopped talking instantly. "Jack? What is it?" He stood up too, and looked out the window. His jaw dropped open. "Oh my god."
Through David's living room window, you could see my house. I had known that in the past. This time, however, the image that had engrained itself in my memory was anything but the same. Where my house once stood was now a brilliant mass of fire and smoke.
As fast as we could, David and I ran out the door and straight back to my house. A few people from town were standing outside already, including Bella. Tears were running down her cheeks. I looked to the right, where there were two figures covered with white sheets: my parents. Bells saw us and ran over. "She's still inside," she cried. "Clara, she-she's still inside."
I froze for a moment out of fear and shock, but David didn't waste any time. He ran straight through the front door. "David, no!" Bella cried. I tried to run in too, desperate to save my sister. Bella wrapped her arms around my torso, holding me back. "I'm not letting you go too."
Before I had the chance to fight my way free, David stumbled out of the front door, through the smoke, with an unconscious, motionless Clara in his arms. He was looking down at her, tears running down his cheeks.
David walked back over and gently placed Clara down on the front lawn, and I ran over and collapsed onto my knees next to her. "Clara," David shook her gently. "Clara, baby, wake up." He coughed for a moment, struggling to breathe. "Clara!" He stared at her for a moment, then collapsed next to her, his hand still holding hers.
Suddenly, someone put their hand on my shoulder. I turned and looked up, recognizing the person: It was the town doctor. "We better bring them to the hospital," he said, staring down at Clara and David. "
Clara and David were brought to the hospital. I was forced to wait in the waiting room, and as I did, I realized that two of the most important people in my life had been taken from me, and a third was slowly slipping away. A few hours ago, I had parents who loved me and a sister who acted as my protector. Now, I was an orphan, and my sister was fighting for her life. How had everything changed so quickly?
"Mr. Dawson," the doctor walked towards me. I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't come bearing good news. "I'm so sorry, your sister didn't make it."
I was in such denial that I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't fall apart at all. I just nodded. "My friend, David. Is he okay?" I asked. I wanted him to hear it from me, not another doctor.
The doctor took me to David, who was just starting to wake up. He looked at me and smiled weakly. "Hey, how's Clara? Is she alright?" I looked down at the ground, unable to tell him. "No…"
I walked over and sat down next to him. "They're… They're gone," I said, staring at the white wall straight ahead. "All three of them. They're gone. Clara-" I couldn't even speak anymore. I shook my head, then looked up at David. There was a silence and I was desperate to break it, anything to take me away from this unquenchable grief slowly filling me, "When you asked me to come over earlier, what did you want to talk to me about?"
David looked at his hands, not answering right away. "No point in saying it now... but anyways," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, then showed it to me. "I was going to tell you that I wanted to ask her to marry me… and I wanted to ask for your permission first."
I couldn't contain my emotions anymore. I started to sob. David started sobbing too. "God, what- what do we do now?" I asked. "What do we do?"
"I don't know," David sighed. He looked down at the ring, then back at me. "You can stay with me, if you want. I don't know what happened to your house, and if you'd want to be living alone…"
"I think I have to go away for a while," I said, staring at my hands. "I just… I can't be here, seeing where they used to live, the looks of pity on people's faces, their sad smiles… I can't do it."
A week later, David was discharged from the hospital, and there was a funeral for my parents and sister. I walked up the path to my house to find multiple townspeople working on the house. My family was well liked in Chippewa Falls, and they wanted to help fix my house and do anything they could to help me.
I walked into the house, packed a single bag, and left my house, not looking back. I left everything behind, but I would always carry the memories of my family with me. I would never be able to leave those behind.
A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was all flashback! I originally planned on having a lot more in this chapter but everything I had planned for this chapter turned into over seven thousand words, so I decided to split it into two. I hope you enjoyed anyway, and I'll try to update again soon!
