Chapter 4

"I took down the whole neighbourhood crew with the flu that week", Will laughed, cringing at the memory. Jay was telling him about last night with Hailey.

"Yes, yes you did", Jay shook his head, forgetting about that unfortunate incident until Hailey brought it up.

"So, is that all you guys talked about?" Will prodded, not too surprised that Jay told him Hailey stayed here talking until 4 in the morning.

Jay suddenly went quiet, paying far too much attention to getting the roast ready on the counter rather than answering Will's question.

"Jay…", Will said gently. "I know it's hard. You can't blame yourself for what happened…"

"Enough Will", he responded sharply, not wanting his brother to finish the sentence.

Will backed off metaphorically, raising his hands, signalling a truce. "Alright. I'm sorry, we don't have to bring it up again."

Will took Jay's silence as his apology being accepted. He quietly picked up a potato peeler and helped him finish the rest of the dinner prep.

About an hour later Will needed to lie down, feeling a stiff pain grow in his knee from standing on the cold kitchen tile for too long.


Will was lying down on the couch when Hailey came in later that afternoon, awkwardly with a pillow under his right knee.

"Uh oh", Hailey cringed.

"Uh oh is right", Will replied.

"What happened?" She asked, sounding concerned. She looked around, no sign of Jay, which she was slightly happy about. Her nerves were kicking in, she wasn't sure if she was ready to see him again after what she did last night.

"Had an unruly patient on shift yesterday, was assisting a nurse with a transfer and tweaked my knee. It's okay, just a bit sore", he reassured her, knowing what she was thinking.

"Have you had problems with it again? Or is the repair still good", she could feel herself slowly slipping back into high school Hailey.

"Repairs still good, I just have to watch that I don't overdo it", Will smiled.

"Gotcha, is it swollen?" Hailey moved towards him without thinking, leaning over him, gently palpating his knee.

"Well, well, well trainer Hailey, you're still in there. Nice to see you make the appearance for little old me", Will joked with her.


2002. Will's senior year, soccer star at their high school, in their district really. He even had a few scholarship offers to play at college, all eyes were on him during the season. He embraced it. Hailey was the student athletic trainer for the boys soccer team. They welcomed her in, super respectful, given her own athletic status at the school. Hailey was All-American for track, with scholarship offers of her own. She was planning on taking the University of Chicago one, so she could stay close to home, she was somewhat of a homebody. She thought she wanted to become a physiotherapist, but that later changed in her first year of college when she realized it wasn't for her. She still completed her Kinesiology degree, but went to law school afterwards, rather than physiotherapy. Jay was an athlete in his own respect, he played on all sorts of teams, not specializing in one in particular. He probably could have played hockey somewhere if his plan was college, but he was dead set on enlisting in the military once they graduated high school. It was a plan of his since junior year, since 9/11 happened really. Hailey didn't love that idea; she couldn't bear to think of anything happening to Jay. She was suddenly pulled from her own thoughts on the sideline when she heard commotion from the field.

She watched Will collide with another player and go down, hearing his ACL pop from the sidelines. She instantly cringed, feeling the panic rise up, running out on the field before anyone's hand went up to call for her. She just knew. The way he planted and twisted, fell awkwardly, the ungodly noise that followed. It was over for him.

She was kneeling down next to him faster than anyone thought she could get there, perks of being a runner. His teammates cleared a path for her, even the opposing player who he collided with, it was a freak accident.

"Shh, I know, I know. It's okay Will, take a few deep breaths for me", she soothed, trying to get him to stay calm, well as calm as possible right now.

"Hailey, it hurts", he whimpered. Will was never one to complain. All her life, she had never seen Will show so much as a tear. Now he was laying on the field, sobbing holding his right knee, curled into a ball, his fingernails digging into Hailey's hand that she had offered him for support. Jay ran over from the stands, kneeling down next to Will. Hailey's brother Mike, who was Will's best friend and also on the team, remained next to him the whole time, looking to his sister for reassurance, the subtle head shake signalling that this was serious.

"I know it does. Can you try and lie on your back for me? Straighten that leg?

He obliged, cursing the whole time, several of his teammates supporting him. His eyes were puffy from crying. She barely touched his knee and he groaned in pain again. When she did manipulate his knee, what she saw wasn't good.

"It's torn isn't it", he quietly asked.

"You'll have to get an MRI to be sure…", Hailey didn't want to confirm anything. She wasn't a doctor, but she was pretty sure his ACL was torn, based on everything that she saw and heard, and what Will was telling her now.

Will just nodded, reading her facial expressions and interpreting that as a quite likely.

"I'm sorry Will", she touched his back, giving him a small side hug, before getting him up with the help of Jay and Mike.


"You know, that felt like the end of the world at the time, but I might not have put as much effort into my studies had I played soccer somewhere. Medical school might not have been the end result. I'm a big believer in things happen for a reason…", Will trailed off.

Hailey glanced sideways towards the kitchen, thinking she heard Jay.

"I miss Mike too Hailey, everyday", Will blurted out with a sad grin on his face.

Hailey nodded, gently patting Will's foot before facing the music, promising him an ice pack. Meaning, she would have to make her way into the kitchen and see Jay.

"Hey", she cleared her throat, not fooled by Jay's pretend look of surprise that she was here. Jay was hyper aware, of everything. His senses heightened by years at war. She knew he heard her talking to Will in the living room but chose to not acknowledge it.

"Hey", Jay smiled and turned back, focusing on the gravy.

"I brought apple pie", Hailey replied, making it sound like a peace offering of some sort, peace for what she wasn't sure.

"From that bakery on 47th", she smiled, that made his ears perk up.

Jay turned around, not able to put up a front much longer. "That is my favourite."

"I know", Hailey nodded knowingly.

She left it on the counter, rummaging around in the freezer for an ice pack. She absentmindedly opened a drawer; the tea towels were still kept in the same spot.

"It's like no time has passed", Jay commented, noticing how comfortable and familiar this all was to her.

Hailey blushed a little, realizing her slip up. "Old habits die hard I guess."

"Hmm", Jay smiled. "Will?"

"Yeah, said he hurt his knee at work last night."

"I noticed that", Jay replied.

"But didn't offer to get him ice", Hailey accused jokingly.

"Meh, knew you would be over soon, figured I'd let you deal with his moping", Jay laughed as he felt Hailey swat at him playfully.

"Not the first time she's played nurse for us, likely won't be the last", Will surprised them both, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

Hailey spun around quickly. "William Patrick you scared me", she laughed.

Will laughed, "Mission accomplished."

"You should be lying down", Hailey scolded.

"Yes, doctor", Will teased.

She took that as her opportunity to escape from Jay, she wasn't sure why she was being so awkward around him today. Maybe because she knew they got close to talking about the accident last night, and things were feeling very raw and vulnerable for them today.

Will sat back down, Hailey helping him put a pillow under his knee and setting the ice pack on top.

"Hails" Will started.

"Mhmm", she replied, encouraging him to continue as she sat across from him on the coffee table.

He took a deep breath, gathering courage to say what he had to say next.

"You know he blames himself still. You and I both know that what happened wasn't on him. He still beats himself up about it. And before you say anything, I know you two haven't talked about it yet, or else I think the vibe in here would be very different", he said motioning around the house, almost in a whisper.

Hailey let out a deep sigh. "I know he does. We got close last night, but…but I got scared", she admitted quietly, her voice wavering.

"I know. It's hard. It's still hard for me too. Just… think about it. I think he needs to hear it from you", Will gave her a look.

Jay joined them a few seconds later, unaware of what conversation he was walking in to.

"I see you're milking Hailey for her kindness again Will", Jay said jokingly.

"Hey", Hailey threw a pillow at him. "If my memory serves me correctly, there was more than a time or two where it's been you on this couch, being taken care of."

"You really would have been a good nurse, or doctor, in another life Hails", Will said seriously.

Hailey smiled, "Thanks Will."

"That time after my ACL surgery, where I puked for 2 days because the pain was so bad", Will cringed. "Hailey fed me soup and crackers on and off for a whole Saturday afternoon."

"When I broke my collar bone in the 8th grade playing hockey", Jay added.

"That was in your I'm too cool to have a girl best friend in public stage", Hailey quipped back, rolling her eyes and smiling.

Jay rolled his eyes too, "Right. Well, after you were so nice to me those few weeks, I reconsidered."

Hailey nodded her head, "Mhmm, that's what I thought. Someone had to carry your backpack to and from school every day for you."

Will laughed at the memory too. "You weren't fooling anyone Jay. Everyone knew you and Hailey were a package deal."

"Yeah, yeah", Jay waved his brother off with a grin, his eyes twinkling as he glanced at Hailey. We still are, he thought to himself.

"Remember that time Jay was giving himself stitches in the bathroom upstairs and you had to help finish them because he almost passed out", Will laughed heartedly.

Jay shot him an evil glare.

Hailey started giggling uncontrollably too. "I forgot about that one."


Jay jumped in, yet again to defend Greg from guys a year ahead of them in high school. For some reason they took to bullying Greg for no reason in particular. Jay had grown a foot between the summer of grade 9 and 10, but Greg hadn't quite hit his peak yet, still lanky. Some guys just were like that to make themselves feel good he supposed.

"Mouse! You look like a little mouse, want some cheese?" Luke Bowman snidely asked Greg as he walked past him on the path home, shoving him into Jay a little bit.

"Leave him alone Luke", Jay warned.

"It's fine Jay, I can handle it", Greg said confidently, although Jay knew behind the façade, he was tired of this.

"You aren't going to have big strong Jay around forever to fight your battles for you", Riley, the other bully added.

That made Jay angry. What was it with these guys?

"You two losers must have nothing else going on in your life, that you spend so much time on Mouse here", Jay called him by the nickname they gave him on purpose, trying to show them that it didn't bother Greg, even though he knew it did.

"You're right Halstead, we spend way too much time thinking about all the things we're going to do with your friend Hailey instead. Aren't we Riley, what a hot piece of ass she's turned into huh", Luke grinned.

That was when the wires crossed for Jay. His nostrils flared, Irish temper taking over. There was no way he was going to let them talk about Hailey that way.

Luke didn't see the first punch coming, Jay connecting with his nose straight on, feeling the bones crumple beneath his knuckles. Riley, however, was ready for it and clipped Jay right above his eyebrow. The zipper on his jacket tearing open the skin.

The three boys fought for a bit until Will and Mike came running down the path to break it up. "Get out of here", Mike shouted at Luke and Riley, pushing them to the ground in the process.

"You alright man?" Mike asked Jay, as Jay was feeling his forehead, eyes going wide at the sight of blood on his hand as he peeled it away from his face.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine", Jay replied. Greg agreeing, a few bumps and bruises of his own.

"You might need stitches", Will stated, after taking a look at his face.

"I'll do it myself; I don't want to go to the hospital. Mom's working", Jay replied.

Will gave him a funny look. "Okay, whatever you say."

The four boys walked home in silence after that. Jay giving up trying to wipe the stream of blood coming from above his eyebrow. They parted ways with Greg and Mike before going into their house. Luckily, their dad wasn't home from work yet, so they wouldn't have to explain what happened to him.

Will went into the bathroom upstairs with him, handing him a towel to try and stop the bleeding.

"What do you think?" Jay asked, hovering over the sink, letting the blood drip down.

Will hummed and hah'd. "It's pretty deep Jay, I think you need to go get stitches."

"No, I told you I'm not doing that", Jay replied, still feeling the anger from what happened earlier.

"Alright", Will raised his hands, backing off, letting Jay figure this one out on his own.

About 20 minutes later Will heard a knock on the front door. He looked out the window, not entirely surprised to see who it was on the other side.

"Hey, heard what happened", Hailey scrunched her nose up.

"Hey, ya that got a bit messy. Glad Mike and I walked home when we did."

"How is he?" She asked cautiously.

"He's okay. Pissed off. Has a wicked cut above his eyebrow, refusing to go to the hospital to get stiches of course", Will rolled his eyes.

"Classic Jay", Hailey shrugged her shoulders. "Greg okay?"

"I think so. Poor kids been taking a beating lately….at school and…you know", Will didn't say the obvious, but Hailey knew what Greg's dad was like after a few drinks, the whole neighbourhood did.

"I'm going to go check on him after", she confirmed, checking her watch. "It's still early, there's hope if I go there that everyone will be in a good mood."

Will moved aside, waving her upstairs. "Good luck with that", he raised his eyebrows.

Hailey moved quietly upstairs and softly knocked on the bathroom door, that was already slightly ajar.

"I told you I didn't-", Jay spun around, expecting to see Will. "Oh, hey hails."

"Hey bruiser", Hailey replied, trying to lighten the mood. She could tell Jay was still fuming.

He sighed loudly, attempting to suture his eyebrow with supplies he found in his mom's medical kit from under the sink.

It was after the third attempt at the same stitch that Hailey decided to intervene. She respected that Jay was mad, he had a right to be. But she knew how stubborn he was. He would sooner look like Frankenstein than ask for her help.

She approached him from the side, gently bringing her hand up towards his holding the needle. The contact made him flinch, Hailey wasn't usually this gentle with him.

"Let me help you Jay, you look a little pale", she said. He nodded, giving her permission. Before he knew it, he felt her other hand come up under his chin, tilting his head toward her so she could inspect the cut.

"Did you clean this out before you started?" She asked, not shocked by his sheepish head shake.

"Here, sit down", she pushed him back towards the toilet seat. Jay had taken a growth spurt lately, they were no longer close in height, he had a full head on her now. So, she needed him to be sitting so she could be at the right level.

Hailey took a damp washcloth and started dabbing at the dried blood around his face before wiping the cut with some rubbing alcohol.

Jay hissed; Hailey's first instinct was to blow on it. That put them in a somewhat precarious situation. She realized after she did it, so she played it off as a joke, naturally. Jay laughed to humour her, but he knew she was feeling embarrassed, so he didn't push it. She was about to put a needle in his face after all.

Hailey went slow, having watched Kate do this more than a few times for the boys in the neighbourhood. One of them was always doing something dumb and needing her to sew them up. This kit got a lot of use.

Jay was quiet the whole time, Hailey knew he needed to just breathe and calm down on his own. When she was finished, she nudged him to open his eyes and take a look in the mirror.

Jay looked at his eye and then at her in the mirror, looking impressed. "Not bad nurse Hailey", he flashed her his signature grin.

"You're welcome", she replied.

"Thanks", he said looking down at the counter.

"You did a good thing Jay", Hailey reminded him, before patting him on the back and saying bye for the night and wandering down to Greg's.


"Wait what? I didn't know about that", Hailey said, sounding surprised at Will's version of the story.

"What part…?" Jay pretended to play dumb.

"The part where you clocked Luke because of a gross comment he said about me", Hailey looked at him curiously. She thought he was just defending Mouse that night, turns out it was her too.

He looked down awkwardly staring at his hands. "Oh, yeah. I wasn't going to let him talk about you like that. Greg has been Mouse ever since, embracing the nickname. Plus, Luke's nose never healed right. Karma", Jay grinned while simultaneously brushing off the subject.

Hailey reached out her hand to touch his face. At first, he flinched at the contact, just like that night in his bathroom, but instantly relaxed when he realized what she was doing. Her thumb softly running over the scar just above his left eyebrow. It was faded now, but still there. Sort of like their love for one another.

"My hero", she replied back, void of all sarcasm. He paused for a minute, relishing in the fact that Hailey was touching him. She did that for a few seconds, before her eyes ran over another scar on his face, this one further up in his hairline. The warmth she was feeling in her heart suddenly turned cold. Jay realizing what she was thinking about in an instant, his eyes apologetic.

Hailey thought back to what Will said earlier, he needs to hear it from you.

Jay cleared his throat and got up off the couch before she could say anything, before she could show him that she forgave him a long time ago.

"I better go check on dinner", he said awkwardly, turning towards the kitchen.

Hailey sat there quietly, dreading making eye contact with Will.

"You don't have to say it again, I know", she finally said out loud.

Will just smiled weakly, "I know you do. Now let's go eat."

Hailey smiled back, in hopes it would mask the tears building in her eyes. She extended a hand to help Will off the couch. Once he was standing, she offered him an arm to act as a human crutch.

"Missed you kid", Will said as he leaned on her and ruffled her hair as they made their way to the kitchen table.

"Missed you too Will", she replied softly, a familiar ache building in her chest as she sat down at the Halstead kitchen table. It was the only piece of furniture that Jay kept the same in the kitchen from when his parents lived here.


"Okay, you two know the drill…. Rose and thorn of your week go!" Will shouted as they rhymed off the good and bad of their respective weeks, all of them in tears laughing as Will shared his thorn. It involved a patient who had explosive diarrhea and a pair of brand new shoes.

They reminisced about Mouse, and some of their other childhood friends, while skirting around the elephant in the room. Hailey wasn't all that surprised that Mouse was briefly working in Jay's unit but decided to re-enlist. With what happened to them, it was understandable that he wanted to go out on his own terms and was finally in control of his life again. She wrote letters to him every so often. Mouse was old school, they had each other's numbers of course, but texting life updates felt so impersonal. She was so proud of Mouse, of Jay too. More than they both knew.

Jay managed to snap a pic of Hailey at the table and send it to Mouse over WhatsApp. He got an instant reply, confused, because it was very late overseas where he was stationed.

Shut the front door. I don't believe it. Hailey's at Sunday dinner?! Does this mean what I think it does? Tell her I say hello and 1-4-3!

Jay laughed, 1-4-3 was such a middle school thing to say, but they still used it all the time. I (1), love (4), you (3). It was something they came up with as kids, because saying I love you to your friends wasn't as cool back then or growing up with a girl in the squad. It was silly looking back on it, but 1-4-3 always felt like their own secret code. It made it more special.

"Mouse says 1-4-3 Hails", Jay informed her.

"I miss Mouse", she replied, gesturing for Jay to take a photo of the two of them. He gave her an are you sure glance, to which she nodded her approval. Will just watching and taking all of this in, shaking his head. Half in disbelief, half in joy. One glass of wine and these two were back to their old tricks.

Jay stuck out his tongue and Hailey smiled wide. He sent it with the caption, Back in business. He would update Mouse later.

Laughter. It was something that this kitchen table hadn't seen in a while, Jay thought as he looked around. He often felt alone when he sat in here to eat his meals. But not tonight. Tonight, he was reminded of the good things, when so many of his days revolved around remembering the bad things. A hot meal, a good bottle of red, belly laughs, sharing old memories, best friends. Sometimes that's all you need.


The night came to an end way too soon. Will and Jay couldn't remember the last time they had a Sunday dinner this good, or this normal. It had probably been since their mom died.

Jay wasn't sure what the next play was, since Hailey was flying back out to New York in the morning.

He could tell she was procrastinating leaving. Just based on the way she was lingering in the kitchen, long after all the dishes were washed, dried and put away.

Will was yawning in the doorway, raising a hand to signal that he was on his way out. "I'm gonna head out, have to work in the morning."

Hailey looked to Will, then to Jay. "This was really nice you guys. I didn't realize how much I missed this, missed you", she said it to both of them, but she was staring right at Jay.

"We missed you too Lails", Jay replied, Will's mouth dropping open out of Hailey's sight.

She smiled, as Jay walked Will out to the front door.

"Lails?!" He whispered to his brother, "You're back in deep Jay."

"Oh, shut up", Jay answered back, not wanting Hailey to overhear.

Will said good-bye to Hailey and Jay, giving them both a hug, an extra-long one to Hailey. Jay turned around after closing the front door, not expecting to see Hailey with her coat on either.

"You're leaving too?" He said, sounding hurt.

"I have an early flight", she replied, regret in her voice.

"Gotcha", Jay said, fumbling his words, with his hands in his pockets.

It was awkward again. They were trying their best to avoid this. Hailey didn't expect any of this to happen on this short weekend trip home. It made things complicated, especially with her new job offer on the table. Before she left one of the few places she called home, she wanted to come clean with Jay. Let him in again. She watched as he nervously bit his lip, trying to hold himself together as she was about to walk out of his life again.

"Jay?" She called him back to Earth.

"Hmm?"" He looked up at her, his emotions were guarded again, to protect himself she learned, not to protect her like she thought all those years ago.

She took a deep breath and stepped towards him, mentally preparing herself that this was it. This was the buildup of the last seven years, she needed to rip the Band-Aid.

Her hands came up to touch his face again like they had earlier on the couch.

He looked confused initially but letting her do whatever she was about to do. Maybe that meant kissing him again, who knew at this point in their whirlwind weekend.

She laced her fingers behind his head and brought his face down towards hers, first, kissing the scar above his left eyebrow. She paused, breathing heavier now. Jay felt frozen in place, and for the first time in a long time, he had no idea what to expect.

Next, she slowly stood on her tippy toes, tilting his head even farther down to the floor. He tensed at her touch, after years of injuries, always having the instinct to protect his head.

"Shh, Jay, come here", she whispered, tilting his head again, silently asking him to trust her. Their faces were dangerously close now, Jay's hands had come up to rest on the outside of hers.

"Okay", he replied back, barely audible.

When his head was tilted just right, Hailey ran her fingers through his hair, intentionally pulling his part back to find that ugly jagged scar that was so well hidden now.

Jay sucked in air sharply, scared what might happen next. He waited, his heart racing a mile a minute, until he felt Hailey's soft lips on his forehead, in his hair, pausing there for what felt like an eternity.

He felt the tears start to roll down his cheek as he felt Hailey hover over the scar high on his forehead with her lips and her fingertips before tilting his chin towards her. They were at eye level now.

"Mike's death was hard. But I want you to know I don't blame you for it", Hailey said bravely, having a good handle on her emotions while talking about this with him for once.

That made the tears in Jay's eye well up even faster, every bone in his body telling his to look away from her, break eye contact, so that she wouldn't see him fall apart. But she didn't let him.

"Hey, look at me. I want you to know that. I need you to know that. I was angry for a long time and took it out on you. And I'm sorry for the pain that caused."

"You don't owe me an apology Hailey", Jay replied softly.

"Yes, I do", she wiped the tears from his cheeks with her thumb.

He nodded, unable to get any words out. She understood, pulling him in for a hug, one arm around his neck, her other hand cradling the back of his head. She felt him let go and sob into her shoulder. As he let go the years of guilt and regret, she kept repeating the same thing over and over again while holding him together in the front entryway.

"I forgive you."


Ahhhh, I loved writing this chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the feedback on this story! I always love to hear that people are enjoying it. I'm thinking that this chapter may have left you with more questions than answers though! Promise I have more coming. Can't wait to keep writing this and diving into this world I've created for Hailey and Jay. Hope everyone is having a great week and staying safe wherever you may be. -K