Chapter 7
Mike, Mike, slow down!
Watch out Mike- watch for the – BANG
Hailey jolted awake at the flailing body beside her.
"Jay, Jay!" She shouted, not touching him for her own self-preservation. Injured or not, Jay would 100 percent lash out still.
He continued to whimper and scrunch his face up in pain. His limbs were writhing about, whispering Mike's name. It hurt Hailey's heart on many levels to see and hear this.
"Jay, it's okay Jay. Come back", she tried a calmer voice this time.
This continued for a few minutes until Jay eventually woke himself up out of how violent he was being with himself. She was sure his injured shoulder would hurt later.
He opened his eyes forcefully, immediately looking around, breathing heavily, moving his arm to clutch his left shoulder.
"I'm going to be sick", he stated plainly, after evaluating the situation he was in.
"Okay", Hailey got out of bed and started to follow him in the bathroom. It was hard to ignore the fact that Jay was just in his underwear.
Despite his injuries and the many scars that littered his chest, back and abdomen… Jay Halstead was fit, and had filled out everywhere. Hailey's mind and eyes wandered, skimming the waistband of the tight black briefs, but only for a moment. She was harshly brought back to reality by the sound of Jay dry heaving over the toilet.
She gave him a minute, until she heard the toilet flush. She softly knocked on the bathroom door to find Jay sitting on the floor with his back against the tub. His face was flushed, from the puking and maybe a bit of embarrassment. Hailey couldn't quite distinguish.
"You look like hell Jay", she said with compassion.
He took a deep breath in, just nodding "Yeah", was all that came out, agreeing with her. He felt like hell. From the nightmare, from the T3's, from his shoulder, all of it.
Hailey grabbed a washcloth from the towel rack, running it under cool water.
Jay felt her sit on the edge of the tub behind him, gently dabbing the back of his neck with the damp cloth. He took a few deep breaths in, his heart rate slowly coming back down. He didn't quite feel like the walls were closing in on him anymore.
"You wanna tell me what that was about?" Hailey asked.
Jay paused. It was as if she already knew anyways. He didn't have the energy to rehash things right now, so he told her a different version.
"It's the T3's. This happens every time, it's why I hate taking them", he explained.
Hailey knew that was a lie, and Jay knew she knew that. He had taken T3's many times before, and to her knowledge this didn't always happen. Will wouldn't have done that to him either. But he clearly wasn't feeling well, so she didn't push it.
"Okay", she replied, continuing to hold the washcloth against his forehead now. Her heart melting as he hesitantly rested his head on her knees.
"It's alright you can put your head there", she whispered, reassuring him, granting permission.
"Thanks", he replied back, his eyes starting to drift as he felt Hailey's cold fingers run through his hair.
The bathroom light made the bruises from the car accident look much worse. Hailey glancing down at his slightly swollen, bruised left shoulder, the stitches looking raw just above his elbow.
They hadn't been in this type of position for a long, long time. After Jay's first deployment he started having what he called night sweats, but what Hailey knew now is that it was the start of a very difficult battle with PTSD. She lost track of how many times she had seen him like this, waking up in a panic in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, so worked up and anxious that he'd make himself throw up in order to make sure he wasn't dreaming, that this was real. It was a nasty cycle, and one that he hid from her, from everyone, for a long time.
What she didn't know was that this was still happening to him. Maybe this is what Mouse meant a few years ago when he called her. If anyone would know and understand that Jay was in a bad place it was him.
Jay was quiet, but she could tell he was still awake, even with his back to her. She suspected he was afraid to close his eyes for too long again.
She cleared her throat, deciding to lead with something to lighten the mood. "You know, I wasn't aware that I was sleeping in bed with an almost naked Jay Halstead", she mentioned cheekily.
She felt his smile against her knee. "Why you like what you see Hails?"
She ignored the question, replying with another question. "When did you take your pants off?"
He chuckled. "Long before you came up with dinner. Just didn't feel the need to tell you."
"I guess another nothing I haven't seen before moment", she chuckled back.
"Huh?" Jay asked, Hailey feeling the flush of his cheeks against her legs this time.
"Jay I've seen your butt before. You used to moon me at least once a week up until we were like 12, remember", she laughed.
Jay sat up and burst out laughing. "I forgot about that actually. Classic." Boys at that age. They all used to think that was hilarious, mooning each other, her brothers included. Hailey just happened to be the only girl and subject to that, caught in the crosshairs if you will.
They giggled for a minute, laughing at that hilarious memory from their childhood.
"Come on Jay, let's go back to bed. It's 4 in the morning", Hailey coaxed him to get off the bathroom floor.
He reluctantly stood up with some assistance from Hailey. Her arm gently falling to his lower back to guide him back to bed.
He hesitated, watching Hailey pull back the covers to get back into bed, with him. As if she didn't just see him have another panic attack, help him get cleaned up, pick him up off the floor. Like this was so normal for her, for them. And it did, as much as the nightmares were always scary when they happened, having Hailey here and her not judging him for that- felt normal. But there was still something inside of him that felt guilty, for putting her through this again. This is what ultimately tore them apart last time, not the PTSD directly, but the consequences of that.
"What?" Hailey asked as she watched him just stand at the side of his bed, not getting in. She averted her eyes, trying not to stare at his chiseled chest, abs…
Suddenly it occurred to her why he was hesitating.
"I'm not scared of you Jay", she said calmly.
"Maybe I should sleep in the spare room. What if I-…", Jay started.
"Jay don't be ridiculous. You're not sleeping in the spare room and neither am I. Get in, you need rest", Hailey took charge of the situation.
Jay nodded and got under the covers. Hailey waited until he was settled before turning off the lamp on his bedside table. They sat in silence for a minute.
"A lot of horrible things happened while I was overseas…but I do the work. I've learned how to manage the triggers and the stress…but sometimes…it still happens. And I've accepted that this is something I'll have to deal with forever. The war was a part of my life Hailey, but it's not who I am anymore. I just want you to know that. My friends made the ultimate sacrifice so Mouse and I could come home and live our lives. So, I try to honour that. I know I didn't make the best choices when I came home, but I've been trying. I go to therapy now…", Jay spoke out in the comfort of the darkness, he could still feel Hailey's eyes on him, acknowledging the obvious of the last hour not being caused by the medicine he took. He needed her to know he had made changes, to help himself, like she had begged him to do so many times years before.
He felt a tiny soft hand on his cheek before he heard her voice. "I know you're trying Jay. I knew that even when we weren't talking. Mouse called me a few years back…told me that you were having a hard time. I was going to fly home…but I didn't know if you would want to see me. And by the time I made my mind up to come back he told me you had sorted yourself out. I'm sorry I didn't come home or check on you."
Jay felt a twinge of guilt, Hailey shouldn't be apologizing to him. He didn't know Mouse did that. He wasn't mad though, that must have taken a lot for Mouse to contact Hailey on his behalf, after everything that went down. She was going to fly home for him. He smiled at that.
"I always want to see you Hailey", he replied, not caring how forward that sounded.
He heard a soft laugh escape from Hailey's lips. Oh, how she had wished he would have said things like this to her when they were younger. "You always had me Jay", was all she could come up with, her heart skipping a beat when she felt his fingers loop with hers.
"Even though I know it's coming… I still feel scared when it happens, like I'm not in control", Jay elaborated.
This was one of the more honest conversations they've had about his PTSD. Jay kept that bottled up after he came home, all through their 20's really.
"I can't imagine. It's hard enough to watch you go through that, let alone experience it yourself", Hailey agreed, surprised that he was opening up like this.
"Thanks for not running away and being there for me even when I was being a jerk", Jay told her, Hailey understanding he didn't just mean tonight, he meant during all of it.
"You know I'd follow you anywhere. Even if it meant a dark tunnel", Hailey replied. Jay yawned, fighting to keep his eyes open.
"Close your eyes Jay, it's gonna be alright", she reassured him.
"Can you hold me?" He asked her so quietly she almost missed it.
Her heart ached at the thought, that he would be nervous to ask her that. One of the few things that helped him sleep after he came home.
"Thought you'd never ask", she replied, not skipping a beat.
Jay turned over to lay on his right side, his left protesting a bit.
"Here", Hailey reached behind him to place a pillow under his side to support his shoulder.
"Thanks", he grimaced as he felt her arms slip around him, pulling him in to lie against her chest, and at the same time alleviating some of the pressure off his shoulder by being able to rest it on her.
"Is your shoulder okay?" She asked.
"Never better", he murmured.
He wiggled around to find a comfortable place, already feeling a little lighter. The familiar notes of lavender and coffee on her clothes mixed with the same perfume she's been wearing since high school, her trademark scent if he had to put a name to it, and the sound of her heartbeat lulling him to sleep.
Hailey pulled a blanket up to cover both of them, her body falling into the familiar routine of rubbing Jay's back until he fell asleep.
As Hailey's mind was wide awake thinking about the first time she ever did this for him, Jay was falling asleep in one of the few places where he always felt safe.
2007
Hailey was bouncing off the walls with excitement. After 6 long months, Jay was finally coming home from his first deployment in Afghanistan.
She was sitting in her apartment that she shared with Lily and Amanda. It was no secret that she couldn't wait for Jay to be home. The girls knew how on edge she was this past year with him being overseas. Fortunately, he was coming home in one piece. Unfortunately, some of his friends weren't. Jay didn't share much with Hailey in terms of accidents that had happened over there, but she knew he had lost 2 friends to IED's, a third lost a leg. He had written about them in the letters that he sent her. They tried to write each other once a month or so, and she could tell he was trying to push things down. She couldn't wait to see him again, to really make sure he was okay.
"Earth to Hailey!" Lily interrupted her thoughts.
"Huh?" Hailey replied while absentmindedly washing a few dishes.
"I said are we going out tonight or what? Celebrate Jay being home?"
"Umm, I don't know if he'll want to go out tonight… he might just want to see his parents, stay home", Hailey responded. What she really meant to say was she wanted Jay to herself tonight.
"That's fair. Maybe tomorrow. It's the Saint Patrick's Day Parade! What do you say?" Amanda suggested.
Hailey smiled, she loved Saint Patrick's Day in Chicago. Dyeing the river green was one of her favourite things to see, she went every year.
"Ya, that would be fun. Jay loves that too. I'll call you guys later. I'm going to head home", she said checking her watch. She'd have to leave soon to get across the city and beat the Friday afternoon rush hour.
"Okay, give Jay a big hug for us", Lily said. "And maybe more", Amanda added cheekily.
Hailey rolled her eyes and laughed. "I definitely will."
Truth be told, she had been thinking about their reunion. Every day since he left really. How would they react? Was it going to be like one of those movie scenes, jumping into his arms? No don't be silly, she thought to herself. It's just Jay.
She didn't let herself get excited until she actually saw him walk through the arrival gates at O'Hare. His mom ran to him first, rightfully so. Pat was at work, and Will was at med school in New York, so Hailey joined Kate for the ride. Jay didn't expect to see her there and his heart flip flopped when he picked out her blonde ponytail in the crowd.
She went to hug Mouse first, who was arriving home with Jay. His parents didn't meet him at the airport, which made Hailey angry, but not surprised. It was no secret that their relationship wasn't great. She really thought his mom would have been here for him though, and apparently so did he, as his eyes scanned the crowd around Hailey and Kate. The crestfallen look on his face broke Hailey's heart. He tried to downplay it, but she could tell he was hurt.
"Welcome home Mouse", Hailey whispered, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and a big hug. Mouse was a reserved, quiet guy, and she smirked when she saw the blush on his cheeks after she planted one on him.
"Thanks Hails", he said, reciprocating the hug. He missed his friend, but not nearly as much as Jay missed her.
Jay released his mom from his hug and gave a side eye glance to Hailey. Kate went up to hug and kiss Mouse too.
"Hi Lails", he said calmly, she almost wanted to ask him to say it again. She missed his voice, his face, his smile, more than she could find the words for.
"Hi Jay", she replied back equally as calm. The two of them just staring at each other for a second, soaking this in. That he was really home.
A big smile broke out on Jay's face and he couldn't hold it in any longer. He quickly closed the gap between them and engulfed her in the biggest hug imaginable, her feet dangling off the floor.
Her arms flew up around his neck, one hand cupping the back of his head, the other gripping his back. He was way more muscular compared to when she last saw him.
He gently set her down, pulling back to get a good look at her. She decided it was only fair, to give him the same greeting she gave Mouse.
"Welcome home Jay", she pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, watching the freckles crinkle over his nose, a slight shade of pink invading his cheeks too.
"She kissed me first Jay, don't forget that", Mouse teased. Kate just stood there grinning at the two of them.
"Well, well, well. Now this feels normal again doesn't it you three", Kate replied, Jay putting an arm around her at the same time. Hailey leaned into Mouse as he did the same for her.
"It does, doesn't it", Hailey agreed as they started walking towards the exit. So happy to have the two of them back on home soil.
Mouse hitched a ride home with Kate, and she waved at his mother who opened the front door across the street. His mom did give him a big hug, so that made Hailey feel a bit better too.
"You staying for dinner?" Jay asked.
Hailey hesitated, "No, no. I'll let you guys catch up."
"Sweetheart don't be silly, you're more than welcome", Kate insisted.
"Okay", she smiled. "I'm going to go drop in at my parent's first."
"Sounds good, I have to shower anyways", Jay said motioning to his army fatigues.
"I'll be back at 6!" Hailey shouted as she made the short trip down the street to her house.
Pat Halstead had joined them at the table after work. Giving Jay a brief hug and a handshake, Hailey could tell that meant a lot to him.
They listened to Jay as he told some funny stories about his unit, Hailey not missing the fact that he chose to keep the bad stuff to himself. She wasn't sure if his parents knew the extent of some of the things that happened while he was over there. He was pretty aloof about it with her, and she suspected even more so with his parents, especially his mom. She would worry too much.
It was getting late, and Jay was yawning on the couch as they were watching a movie. He looked dead tired.
"I'm going to head out okay. You need some sleep, you look exhausted", Hailey nudged his shoulder, peeling herself off the couch.
He didn't fight her on it, which meant he was ready to call it a day. It had been a long 24 hours of travel and excitement. Thankfully he had a few weeks leave before he had to report back to Benning.
He nodded and got up to walk her to the door.
"Tomorrow- river dyeing? Lily and Amanda want to go", Hailey proposed.
Jay smiled, "The perfect timing to be back home in Chicago. I'm in. Is it okay if Mouse comes?" He didn't tell Hailey, but he was worried about him. He seemed off the last few weeks.
"Of course! I'll come get you in the morning. Go to bed, we have a long day tomorrow", she smiled.
They said good night, and Jay watched to make sure Hailey made it in her house safely. It was silly he knew that, it was only 3 doors down, and she had made that walk 1000 times, probably more. But something in his brain just made him feel on high alert for everything these days.
The following morning, as promised, Hailey came down to get Jay and Mouse and take the train downtown together.
They lined up along the river, watching it being dyed green. Hailey took a quick look at Jay and Mouse, their smiles showing how happy they were to be home.
By the time the parade was over it was well into the afternoon, and well into a few drinks for all of them. Lily and Amanda were having a great time, and the five of them continued on their impromptu pub crawl. The last bar on their stop was close to the girl's apartment.
Mouse and Lily decided to leave early, which surprised Jay, but not Hailey. She knew about Lily's crush on her friend, giving her a wink as they grabbed their coats.
"Lily and Mouse?" Jay raised his eyebrows, smirking.
"Hey, whatever makes them happy", Hailey laughed. Amanda had met up with a guy she had been seeing as well, calling it a night around the same time.
That left Hailey and Jay at the pub, Hailey looking over in the booth and seeing him yawn again.
"Alright, let's finish our beers and head out", Hailey said.
"Hmm? No, I'm fine if you want to stay. Another Guinness?" Jay tempted her.
"Jay you're tired. You can barely keep your eyes open. You've had a busy few days", Hailey called him on it.
He smiled, one of his dimples showing. "I have not adjusted to the time change yet."
"I know. Let's go." Hailey didn't prod further; he was quieter than normal.
They each grabbed their coats and headed toward the exit, Jay was grateful to inhale some fresh air. He was feeling a bit closed in at the bar, with so many people. No one was there to hurt him, he had to keep telling himself that. It was busy because it was Saint Patrick's Day. Luckily, he didn't think Hailey noticed he was feeling overwhelmed to be out in public. Mouse didn't let on either, but Jay suspected that's why he got out of the crowded bar so fast with Lily too.
Jay and Hailey grabbed a burrito for their walk home and staggered in the direction of her apartment.
They were laughing about something as they opened the apartment door and quietly snuck back into Hailey's room. They both got changed privately into comfortable clothes, the assumption being that they would be sleeping in the same bed. In a platonic way of course.
"Why do girls have so many pillows?" Jay wondered out loud, taking the decorative ones off to set them on the chair next to Hailey's bed.
"It's called style Jay", she rolled her eyes and swatted him with one of the pillows jokingly before heading to brush her teeth.
Hailey returned with two giant glasses of water. Jay smirked. "Good thinking."
"We're gonna need these in the morning for sure", Hailey laughed.
They got into bed and turned the lights off as if this was a normal routine.
"Night Hails", Jay mumbled from the other side, already shutting his eyes.
"Night Jay", she lightly placed a hand on his shoulder, his back facing her.
Their sleep was not that peaceful. Hailey could feel Jay moving around, trying to get comfortable every hour or so. She didn't say anything, figuring his body was just time confused still and continued to pretend to be asleep.
Around 2 or 3 she was in a dead sleep but woke up suddenly as her bed started shaking. She was confused at first, maybe this was the alcohol talking for her too, until she realized it was coming from the person next to her.
He was mumbling something in his sleep, every so often a whimper sneaking out. She was caught off guard. Bad dream, she supposed. He wasn't being loud or aggressive, the worst part was just that he was shaking, badly.
She didn't know what to do, and it didn't look like he would wake up any time soon. She watched him for a few minutes, it seemed like he was calming down. She sat up in bed, and Jay's eyes shot open, looking terrified. She was surprised he woke up when she moved in bed, he was usually such a deep sleeper.
"Hey. Whoa, it's alright Jay. Just me", Hailey raised her hands in defense.
"Sorry. Did I wake you?" Jay asked sounding disoriented.
"You're shaking Jay. Are you sick?" Hailey asked, sounding concerned. Her hand gently coming up to touch his forehead and the back of his neck.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. "No, I'm okay. Just feeling really out of it. Too many beers, and jet lagged."
"Okay. Well go back to bed. It's 3 in the morning", she rolled back over to her side as he agreed and they both quickly slipped back to sleep.
The shaking happened periodically throughout the rest of the night though. Hailey did have her window cracked open; it wasn't quite spring weather yet. But it was hot when they first went to bed. Maybe he was just cold? He did just get back from the desert after all.
Jay felt Hailey's arms wrap around him as he tried to keep the trembling under control. He didn't understand what was happening in his body right now.
"Sorry", he whispered.
"It's alright, come here", Hailey pulled him towards her, so that his body was tucked against hers, his head resting on her chest. She made sure the blankets were tucked over his shoulders and back.
"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, it was odd that he was shivering like this, but she checked again, and he didn't have a fever.
"Mhmm. Tired", Jay mumbled, her body heat slowly causing him to relax, the trembling gradually coming to a stop.
"Okay", she replied, her hand resting on the side of his head, her fingers softly grazing his hair.
"I missed you Hailey", Jay said quietly, the sleepiness evident in his voice.
"I missed you too Jay. Get some sleep, you're run down", Hailey whispered, and didn't push it. Jay nodded against her chest, his breathing evened out, and he began to feel more like dead weight. His arm flopped across her stomach, and one of his legs crossed on top of hers. If anyone saw this, it did look like a compromising position. Jay was clutching her for dear life.
She put a hand on his back, and the shaking eventually stopped. She figured he was just overtired, the last few days had been a lot for him. What she didn't know at the time, and would come to realize later, was that he wasn't trembling because he was cold, he was trembling because he was scared.
Hailey rolled over in bed the next morning, groaning, feeling the effects of day drinking, Guinness and shots of whisky at that.
She looked around, seeing the other side of her bed empty, and perfectly made. Jay's inner neat freak had clearly been taken to a new level since joining the Army, that he made her bed with her still sleeping in it. She chuckled to herself.
She strolled out to the living room to find Lily and Jay having a coffee. Jay jumped up when he saw her, immediately handing her a plate of pancakes and fruit and a mug filled with a nice dark roast.
"You made this?" She looked at him questioning.
Jay smiled as Lily chimed in. "I don't know where you get off Hailey, interrupting my breakfast date with this handsome stranger who stumbled out of your room this morning."
Hailey rolled her eyes, laughing at her roommate and gratefully accepted the food and coffee.
"Where's Mouse?" She smirked, raising her eyebrow at Lily, her turn to be in the hot seat.
Lily scrunched her nose, pointing to the bathroom.
"Uh oh, too much to drink", Hailey giggled, Jay didn't join her though.
"I guess so, these things happen", Lily smiled, didn't seem phased by it. Hailey shrugged it off, the look on Jay's face said something else though.
"I'll go check on him", Lily offered.
"No, I'll do it", Jay told her.
Hailey didn't think much of it, as he waved her off and disappeared to see how Mouse was holding up.
The girls finished their breakfast and coffee, only hearing mumbling from the inside of the bathroom.
Finally, after 15 or so minutes, Jay and Mouse resurfaced.
"Well, well, well Gregory how are we feeling this morning", Hailey laughed, Mouse shaking his head at the use of his full name.
"Gregory, oof I must be in trouble?" He laughed somewhat nervously.
"Of course not. If anyone, you two deserved to have a good night", Hailey got off the couch and headed towards the fridge.
"It's okay Hails, I got it", Jay replied. Hailey noticed the two of them were acting so strange, something was definitely up. She also suspected Jay rushed out of bed first thing, so they didn't have to talk about how they slept, or didn't sleep, last night.
"Jay, just sit down. Relax, enjoy your breakfast date", she winked at him and Lily, who was sitting there pretending to be honoured.
Hailey came back with Gatorades for the 4 of them, everyone applauding the idea.
"Mouse do you want something to eat? You look a little pale", Hailey asked.
"No thanks Hailey, I don't think food is a good idea right now", he replied sheepishly.
"Gotcha", she responded.
The four of them sat around laughing about their shenanigans from the day before for most of the morning. Hailey was just loving having both Jay and Mouse back home, she missed them so much, and worried about them every day.
Jay spoke up about an hour later, saying they should get going. Hailey had work to do for school that day, but she promised to come home to see them again mid-week.
Hailey gave them each a hug, Lily did the same. The girls closed the door and went to crash on the couch for a bit longer.
"So, how was your night?" Hailey finally asked.
Lily suddenly got quiet.
"Oh no. What happened", Hailey wondered.
"No, no it was good. That part was good, really good actually", Lily stressed. Hailey immediately thought too much info but didn't ask any further.
"Greg was just acting really strange during the night…", Lily started, trying to gauge Hailey's reaction. Hailey on the other hand, was trying to keep a neutral face. She was thinking the same thing about Jay.
"How so?" She asked curiously.
"Like I don't think he slept….", Lily said slowly.
"He's probably still jet lagged, Jay was pretty restless too", Hailey added.
"No like I don't think he slept. At all", Lily clarified. "I woke up at one point during the night and he was just lying on his back staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open. He didn't even respond when I started talking to him though, it's like I wasn't even there. As if he was in his own world or something", Lily got quiet, as if she was sharing something with Hailey that she shouldn't.
Hailey pondered to herself before replying. Jay was the opposite; it was like he couldn't get enough of Hailey. He was always a touchy person, but he seemed to really need her last night, need human touch.
"I'm overthinking this. I'm sure they're just both exhausted. Mouse is a great guy; he is super kind. I'm really glad Jay brought him along", Lily replied before Hailey had the chance to tell her about Jay.
"Mouse is the best", Hailey agreed. Mouse was usually pretty shy around other people, especially girls. She noticed he was a bit more outgoing yesterday, maybe the Rangers gave him some confidence. Either way, she was glad he was finally putting himself out there. Mouse had a tough home life, Hailey always thought he deserved the world.
Hailey pushed what happened with Jay last night to the back of her mind. She refused to believe that something was wrong with either of them. They were just tired, she kept telling herself. Maybe they picked up a bug on the flight back or something. In hindsight, the red flags were all there. PTSD wasn't really part of her vocabulary at that point in her life, but maybe it should have been.
Will slowly cracked open Jay's bedroom door the next morning, not the least bit surprised at what he found.
Hailey was half sitting up in bed, scrolling through her phone, with one arm still on Jay's back. His brother was sprawled across Hailey, his body wedged right against her, pillows protecting his sore shoulder.
Will raised his eyebrows at her, Hailey smirked back in reply.
"Shhh", she mouthed, holding up a finger to her lips, motioning down to a sound asleep Jay.
Will mouthed back, "Is he okay?"
Hailey nodded her head. "Tired", she whispered back.
Will gave a thumbs up and quietly snuck out, closing the door behind him.
He wasn't around for Jay when he came home from Afghanistan. His brother had never explicitly told him that he didn't sleep well after his deployments, but what he did know was that Hailey slept in Jay's bed almost every night with him after his second tour. That's what his mom told him anyways. She was really sick then, so part of him wasn't sure if she imagined Hailey sneaking in every night or not. He didn't know it at the time, but Jay was really sick then too, in a different way. He didn't learn about Hailey rocking him to sleep, wiping his tears, and sticking by him when he went on bender after bender until years later, and a part of him ached for his brother, wishing he could have done more.
Looking back now, he was silly to have even questioned his mom, telling him that Hailey was the only reason Jay was getting readjusted to civilian life. Jay had shut the rest of them out, Mouse was off somewhere in the deep end, and all they could do was watch him self-destruct. But not Hailey. Their mom was sick, Jay was hurt, in more ways than one, but Hailey was there to pick up the pieces. Seeing them together again now brought up so many memories, mostly good, some bad from near the end.
He went downstairs, pausing as he caught a glimpse inside Jay's office, eyeing the picture he kept hanging of him and Hailey at the end of their dock from many summers back. After all this time, and hardship after hardship, those two young, freckle-faced kids were somehow still smiling in each other's arms. He smiled to himself, and got started on a long standing Halstead tradition, Saturday morning waffles.
Was inspired by Chicago secretly dyeing the river green this past weekend! How I wish I was there…next year! Thanks for all the reviews and messages. I so enjoyed writing this chapter. I've been throwing in some references from "Hailey and Jay" in this story, have you caught them? Hope everyone has a great week, spring is in the air (at least where I live) - K
