Chapter 8

Jay woke up the next morning in somewhat of a daze.

As he came to his senses, he tried to stretch his arms, forgetting about his shoulder for a minute.

"Ahhh", he groaned as he rolled on his back, clutching his left forearm.

"You okay?" Hailey's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah. Just need a minute", Jay replied, his right hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

He took a few deep breaths, wiggling his shoulder around, feeling it loosen up after a minute.

"Better?" Hailey asked.

"Ya it's not too bad today, just stiff", Jay replied.

"Probably because you slept on it all night instead of having it resting on a pillow", Hailey chided.

"Trust me, I got a better sleep on top of you than I would have lying on my back", Jay let that slip out a little too quickly.

"Still have the magic touch I guess", Hailey smiled.

"Definitely", Jay agreed.

There was a knock at the door and Will stormed in with a breakfast tray filled with waffles and coffee and fruit.

Jay's face immediately perked up, "Waffles", he grinned.

That made Hailey and Will laugh, his inner child just poking right out.

"Tough day for you yesterday, thought this might brighten your spirits. And if you're nice to me I might even cut them up for you", Will replied.

Jay rolled his eyes, Hailey laughed and moved over to make room for Will in Jay's bed.

"How you are feeling Jay?" Will asked as the three of them watched morning sports highlights and relaxed with their coffees.

"Better actually. Little sore, but it's fine", Jay replied.

"You sleep okay?" Will slyly asked, earning himself a kick under the blankets from Hailey.

"Ya, the usual", Jay didn't bite. Will couldn't resist running with it.

"That's cute, that you think I didn't see you and Hailey all snuggled up just like old times", Will sipped his coffee smugly.

"I wasn't feeling good", Jay sassed back defensively.

"It's alright Jay, Will's just jealous", Hailey joked.

"I'm just playing with you little brother. I would jump at a Hailey Upton snuggle any day. I'm convinced it's the cure to all ailments", Will said batting his eyelashes, kissing up to his old friend.

Hailey smacked him playfully and the three of them laughed at old times. Will was no stranger to migraines and had fallen asleep a few times on the couch with Hailey rubbing his back too. That's partially why he came here after work. He knew Hailey would be here still, and he sort of just wanted to spend time with her and his brother, he had a rough night.

"How was the rest of your shift Will?" Hailey asked, changing the subject.

He let out a big sigh, feeling the laughter and joking tone he had a few minutes ago leave his body. "Terrible actually. Had a young girl die on me in the trauma bay, hit by a drunk driver. She was only 18. Her life was just starting…", he could feel himself rambling, staring off into space.

Hailey looked at Jay who lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry Will", she whispered.

"Thanks", he forced a smile and a big exhale. "If I slow down, I think about things…", Will trailed off, Hailey secretly looping a pinky finger around Jay's. That's something that resonates with him too.

"Will?" Hailey asked him, nudging his shoulder, shaking him out of his trance.

"Hmm?" He looked at her with glassy eyes, tears threatening, but not quite spilling.

"Did you come in here because you wanted a snuggle?" She asked as a smile slowly appeared on his face.

Will playfully looked over to Jay, who was staring at the TV and jokingly replied, "I'll allow it."

Will nodded immediately after receiving Jay's unspoken approval, grabbing a pillow and leaning it up against Hailey.

"You made breakfast, it's only fair", Hailey laughed as Will started to yawn.

"Two Halstead's for the price of one", Wil said sleepily.

Jay shook his head and laughed, pointing at his brother. One thing that has never changed over the years is Will's uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime. One minute he's wide awake making homemade waffles for Hailey and Jay, next minute he's out like a light after Hailey rubbed his back a few times.

"I wish I could sleep this soundly", Hailey told Jay, not even whispering because Will wouldn't hear them anyways.

"Same. I think that's why he made the waffles- bribery", Jay smirked, pointing at Hailey's comforting touch.

"Meh- good trade", she smiled. "You want to go back to sleep too don't you", Hailey eyed Jay.

He bit his bottom lip, his dimples showing- "Maybe."

"I'm only going to offer this once…", Hailey started, and Jay took the hint, wiggling himself over to her side again.

"Sleeping the day away with not one but two Halstead's, was not how I was expecting this weekend to go", she laughed as Jay got settled again.

"You comfy" He asked.

Hailey took in what was happening right now, reflecting on how the more things change, the more things stay the same. Something she wished and dreamt of for years. Being in this house, filling it with laughter and smiles again, with Jay and Will.

"I am."


2007

"I don't know man, if I slow down… I just see it again. All of it the smells, the bodies…", Mouse whispered to Jay.

"I get that. But we need to get our heads on straight. We have a few weeks to decompress, relax. Then we have to head back to base, and get ready for the next time", Jay reasoned, shutting all the emotions of the past year out.

Mouse nodded, taking a deep breath. "You're right. I think the lack of sleep is just getting to me."

"I was thinking we could head up to the cabin for the week, get away for a bit. Thoughts?" Jay proposed.

Mouse exhaled, "That sounds great actually. Getting out of the house would do me good I think."

Jay didn't ask too much about that. He knew Mouse's relationship with his parents, particularly his dad, wasn't great. He had no brothers or sisters to turn to either.

"Hailey's off for spring break too…thinking maybe we could ask her to join", Jay added. Mouse smiled. Jay's soft spot for Hailey was all too obvious to him, and it had been their entire lives. The three of them were best friends, but it was always clear that Hailey and Jay had a different type of connection, although they hadn't explicitly discussed what that really meant. There had been talks over the years, but Jay always maintained that Hailey was his best friend, adding romance into it would complicate things, it was never the right time. Mouse had heard all of the excuses before.

"It's been too long, just the three of us up there, like old times", Mouse replied, craving some normalcy in all the chaos he had been in the middle of.

"I know. I think we need it. Plus, if she comes maybe we can convince her to cook for us", Jay laughed, Mouse agreeing with that sentiment.

"I've been dying for her lasagna", Mouse added.

"Me too. Okay I'll call her", Jay and Mouse parted ways at the end of his driveway.


Hailey accepted Jay's cabin offer immediately, she was needing some time away from school and would happily spend the week with two of her favourite humans. The snow had melted enough that the dirt road in wouldn't be too treacherous. Kate generously offered her car so the three of them could stay up there for the week.

Hailey swore she saw Jay's shoulders relax as soon as they hit the I-94 North out of the city.

"This was a great idea", she murmured, closing her eyes as she leaned back into the headrest.

"Switch with me if you're gonna snooze the whole way there Hails", Mouse kicked Hailey's seat lovingly.

"Ugh, you know I get carsick in the backseat Mouse", Hailey eyed him from the visor mirror.

"Right, how could I forget", Mouse cringed, thinking back to the time he had to find that out the hard way on the several hour drive when they were kids.

"You're right, I need to be on music duty anyways", Hailey chugged some more of her coffee and scrolled through her iPod to find a good song.

The three of them laughed and reminisced the whole way up. The Halstead cabin was a special place, and it was just what Jay and Mouse needed right now.

Jay pulled into the familiar gravel laneway, a wave of calm washing over him as he looked out at the lake. Parts of it were still frozen, but spring was coming, and he was feeling hopeful at the signs of new life and growth.

Changing of the seasons was a reminder that life wasn't stuck. Jay kept telling himself that this period of guilt, and anxiousness and fear- would pass…eventually.


They unpacked the car, had a bite to eat and immediately opened all the curtains, letting the sun in and just staring at the water. It was a beautiful day, unseasonably warm.

"Bet you wouldn't jump in there", Jay dared Mouse.

"Sure, I would, only if you do it with me though", he proposed. Neither of them was ones for backing down from a dare. Hailey just rolled her eyes.

"The two of you are going to end up with pneumonia and ruin my holiday", she pretend scolded. Even at their age, she was still the mom figure in the group.

"Come on Hails, little polar plunge never hurt anybody. Shocks the system, reminds you that you're alive", Jay tried to convince her.

"You know it has to be sunny and 75 for me to even consider jumping in that lake", she laughed.

"Fine, fine. But hey you might want to steer clear of the windows, I might make it a skinny dip", Jay raised his eyebrows jokingly.

"Won't be much to write home about anyways", Mouse chimed in, making a playful jab at his friend, using his two hands to show Hailey an estimate. It had her howling.

Jay was about to chirp back but then he looked at Mouse and didn't have it in him. This was the first time he had seen Mouse smiling since they came home, before that even. A real, genuine smile and laugh that reached his eyes. So, he let his friend have it.

"Guess there's only one way to find out Hailey Anne", Jay left it at that and took off running towards the lake, stripping down on the way. Mouse followed as Hailey shook her head in the kitchen, unpacking the groceries that they brought up.

Some things never change, and even when they do, they have a way of finding their way back. And there would always be little things, moments in time that reminded you that you were alive.


Will was out cold, snoring away on her right side. Hailey was wide awake after their morning nap, and Jay was somewhere in between.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked quietly.

Hailey snapped out of the trip down memory lane she was in, smiling down at Jay, who although was awake, was still taking full advantage of her current willingness to snuggle. Hailey was never one for snuggling, that was always Jay that craved that growing up.

"Just thinking about that week, we spent up at the cabin when you and Mouse came home after your first tour", she admitted.

Jay smiled, "That was a really good week. Next time Mouse is home, we should do that again."

That took Hailey by surprise a bit, Jay Halstead making long term plans, and to see her no less. Who would have thought?

"I'd like that", she replied.

"Come on, let's get up. Let Will sleep in here", Jay said, initiating the arduous process of rolling over in bed.

Hailey watched him closely but let him do it himself. Once he was upright, she slowly snuck out from under the blankets, trying not to disturb Will. Jay took this time to go to the bathroom to get freshened up and change clothes.

By the time he managed to get a sweater on by himself, Hailey had already made her way downstairs, pouring herself another coffee, and one for Jay too.

"Thanks", he replied, sipping it slowly.

"Didn't have the heart to tell Will we had waffles for dinner last night", Hailey giggled.

Jay smiled back. "Same. But double breakfast never hurt anyone."

"Very true", Hailey agreed.

"Will is more sentimental than he lets on", Jay smirked.

"Sounds like another Halstead I know", Hailey raised her eyes knowingly.

"Yeah, yeah. Where were we?" Jay asked, continuing their reminiscing.

"The cabin."


Mouse woke up the next day with a horrible headache, this whole not sleeping thing was really messing with him. He took a few deep breaths and pulled himself out of bed. Caffeine would help, it always did.

He wandered out to the kitchen to find Jay awake and brewing a pot.

"Morning", Mouse rubbed his eyes, holding a mug out.

"Sleep okay?" Jay prodded; he didn't sleep so well himself.

"Not bad, you?" Mouse lied.

"Decent", Jay lied too.

The two of them sat there in silence, having a coffee and some breakfast, trying to keep it down while Hailey was still in bed.

She resurfaced an hour later, pleasantly surprised to find breakfast and coffee waiting for her. She had no idea what the army had done to her two boys but was grateful they were maturing in their own ways.

"Morning, sleep okay?" Jay asked. He was hoping the bags under his eyes wouldn't blow his cover.

"Great sleep actually, you?" Hailey asked, she always felt so relaxed here.

"Good", "Ya good", Jay and Mouse replied at the same time, quickly exchanging a look with one another, but Hailey didn't notice.

They had a slow morning together, searching through old photo albums and finding pictures of the three of them growing up.

Hailey excused herself after lunch, saying she needed to do some work for school. Jay and Mouse said they would be doing some work outside; he promised his mom he would look after the gardens and clean up from winter while they were up for the week.

Hailey poked her head outside close to dinner time, Jay and Mouse were in the shed working on something, so she went ahead and got started on dinner. Mouse had requested lasagna, so lasagna it was.

Jay and Mouse walked in about an hour later to the smell of Hailey's cooking.

"Mmmm, please tell me that's what I think it is", Mouse grinned.

"I will cook whatever you guys want this week. Consider it my welcome home gift", Hailey smiled, Jay and Mouse raised their fists in victory.

Hailey served everyone a plate, homemade lasagna, garlic bread and salad. Jay was drooling. Mouse was hyper-focused on his growling stomach.

"Hailey this looks", Mouse eyed the spread, giving her a thumbs up.

Jay uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured each of them a glass.

"We did not eat this good overseas that's for sure", Jay stated, Mouse agreeing.

"Thanks guys. Dig in, honestly this is the least I can do", Hailey replied.

Mouse and Jay both went for seconds before Hailey was even done with her first piece.

They continued to talk, and eventually played their usual Rose and Thorn game.

"I am super happy to be up here this week with both of you, I have no thorns. Just happy you're both back, healthy, in one piece…" Hailey trailed off, feeling a few tears sneak up. She quickly composed herself and grabbed one of Jay and Mouse's hands.

"Happy to be back too. Missed you", Jay replied, running his thumb along the palm of her hand, the one that was still holding his.

"At least your family is happy you're home. I think my parents are just happy I'm home in one piece, that I'm not costing them an insurance deductible", Mouse laughed nervously, but Hailey and Jay just shared a look with one another.

"That's not true Mouse. Your mom was worried sick about you while you were gone", Hailey added.

"They sure have a funny way of showing it", he looked down at his plate, playing with his remaining food. Jay just shook his head, his eyes silently begging Hailey to drop it.


Jay started a fire later that evening, so they could curl up and play cards.

After a few rounds of Rummy, Jay started yawning, and eventually excusing himself to go to bed. He had tired himself out, working outside all day.

"Night Jay", "Night", Hailey and Mouse stayed sitting on the couches.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Hailey intently watching his every move. Mouse was always quiet, unassuming, barely said boo to anyone. Right now, he just seemed so fidgety, and tightly wound. Hailey knew something was off.

"So, what else have you been doing since you've been home?" Hailey asked.

That question seemed to catch him off guard. "Um…not much really."

"How are your parents doing?" Hailey asked. She spent so much time at Jay's house that his parents were practically hers. But neither of them spent much time at Mouse's place growing up. His parents were always nice to Hailey, but she knew what really went on, so she had a hard time looking his dad in the eye.

"They're fine. Same old, nothing changes with those two", he replied tellingly.

"Gotcha", she replied back, sipping her wine.

Mouse didn't seem like he wanted to talk, but he also stayed sitting on the couch, every so often glancing Hailey's way. Almost as if he wanted to ask her something. The longer she stared at him, the more exhausted he looked.

"You good?" She finally asked.

He exhaled, looking towards Jay's door briefly. It was quick, but Hailey noticed.

"I'm just really tired", he replied, feeling guilty lying to her face. Well, a white lie. He was extremely tired.

Hailey hesitated for a minute, knowing that wasn't the only thing that was bothering him.

She moved a bit closer to him on the couch, sitting facing towards him, gently resting a hand on his back. One that he flinched at initially, which made her feel guilty and sad and angry all at the same time, that he reacts that way to someone laying a hand on him.

"Greg, please talk to me. I know you're hurting", she said softly.

All he did was just shrug his shoulders slightly, not really verbalizing what was going on in his head. Her big eyes staring back at him almost made him cave. Hailey had this way about her, always bringing calm and comfort to every situation. It was something he loved about her, and definitely helped him growing up. He wasn't in a place where he wanted to talk about it though. But Hailey tried again.

"You can talk to me, you know that? Whatever happens here in this cabin, can stay here. In the circle of trust", she persisted.

"I know", Mouse replied. There was an awkward silence before he spoke again, "Thanks Hailey", he said softly, but in a way that signalled that was the end of that conversation. For now, anyways.

She half smiled his way, somewhat frustrated, but understanding, Mouse was private and shy as it was. He had a hard time talking about his feelings.

She didn't say anything further, just put her hand on his back again, rubbing a small circle near his shoulder.

"I'm going to head to bed", she said as she stood up. "You should do the same, get some sleep."

"Sounds good, I'll try", Mouse agreed, and they parted ways for the night.


That's it for another chapter! Bit of a filler, hope you enjoy! As always thank you for following along. I love reading the messages and reviews, and hope I'm living up to all the nice comments I've been getting on here. Enjoy the rest of the week, only two more days until more Upstead fingers crossed. - K