A/N- Enjoy this chapter. It's Rory-perspective, so please let me know what you think of that. It's harder for me to write Rory, to be honest with all of you, but I wanted you guys to have this one. As always, please read, continue to review (! I love you all!) and recommend it to your friends (hi again, new readers, and welcome!). I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its characters or concepts, but only the right to manipulate the concepts of them I've devised in my head.


Chapter 40

The next morning, Rory woke up early and walked over to Luke's before her mom woke up. She left a sticky note on Lorelai's forehead with "Lunch at Luke's 12 PM" to allow enough time for the Malomar hangover to wear off. Smiling, she opened the door to Luke's at 7:30 AM, to find not an empty seat in the house.

"Hey, Rory," Luke said quickly, clearly swamped in the rush, "There's nothing open, sorry. I wasn't expecting you guys till later. But if you want to just go hang upstairs, I can send whatever up."

"I'll just bring coffee and a donut if that's alright. Thanks, Luke," she smiled, and he nodded, opening the donut case and handing one to her and quickly pouring a mug of coffee. She grabbed the two and headed upstairs to the quiet apartment.

Opening the door, she felt instantly at home. Her books always made her feel that way, and it had been so long since she'd really been surrounded by them. It was like being in a neighborhood with only people you knew, and liked, for that matter. She was able to select every resident individually, to her taste, without anyone overseeing or criticizing her choices. She slowly walked over to the bookcase and picked up a book of Bukowski's poetry (she'd been in such a Beat phase like never before over the past few months) before flopping onto the bed, stomach first, with the heavy tome in her hand.

Zoning out into the cover, she began to consider the events of her time in Star's Hollow thus far. She'd basically holed up in her house, other than excursions to Luke's, where she smiled and answered questions very basically to everyone but Luke and her mom. It had been so good to see Luke, and she'd apologized to him too, immediately, which he'd of course gruffly said wasn't necessary and that he was there for her. Something she already knew, and had basically forever. The first night she'd crashed right away and the second she and Mom had done a movie marathon with the Brat Pack theme. Tonight was supposed to be Joe Pesci night. A lot of feel good choices, no pressure. Rory could tell Jess had sad something to Lorelai and she appreciated that her mom was giving her some room to feel it out.

Rory was surprised about the newly formed tolerance, and even bond, between Lorelai and Jess, but it made a lot more sense to her than it might to others. She had always known how much they had in common and how those things were what drove them apart, could help them get along incredibly well or fight furiously. She was happy it had changed and more than anything that it was for Luke rather than her. It was more stable that way, and made more sense, and it was so good for Lorelai and Luke's relationship and for Jess and Luke too. Everyone just seemed to be really…good.

Which she had to admit was weighing on her. Because she wasn't good, at all. Rory was still a bit smiley in public, and to be fair she was happier having the support of Jess, Luke and Lorelai than she was when she was still denying everything, but the pressure was still sitting there on her, like a rock. She was miserable. She wasn't happy with her life. She knew some things would have to change for her to be happy, though she was still figuring out what they were. She had finally gotten in touch with her editor, and he'd agreed to let her take her vacation time plus sick days for the following two weeks and then file stories digitally until further notice, for a reduced wage and demotion. Yes, demotion. Rory was no longer covering D.C., only New York.

"I'm sorry, Rory," Nathaniel had said to her on the phone, "But I just can't have you in charge of something that high profile right now. I don't think it's good for you and I know it's not good for me."

"I understand completely," Rory had assured him, and she did. Actually she wasn't upset about it at all. The lack of money sucked, but she had no expenses right now (she really needed to talk to Jess about paying rent or something) and honestly she was barely motivated to turn in much of anything as it was. She was, as much as it surprised her to admit it, completely fine with having less responsibility there. Which scared her a bit, but thrilled her too. She'd mention it to Jess tomorrow. She hadn't told her mom, but she didn't feel the need to. They were fine as they were and Rory was happy with the current level of communication.

At least she'd gotten some sleep last night, Rory thought as she stretched across the bed. The first night she'd tossed and turned for hours. She hated not being in the apartment, even though it wasn't hers, and not being around Jess, even though he wasn't hers either. And it wasn't like she was alone. Her mom was there, in the next room. She just didn't feel comfortable. Rory had been so happy when Jess said he was coming to town, and she could tell immediately that he was experiencing exactly what she was.

Jess. A topic of a great deal of thought, but for right now, leave the thinking to the "artists", Rory mused as she dove into Bukowski headfirst, really agreeing with an earlier statement that Austen probably would've liked him.