A/N- Hello! Sorry this is late. Life. Anyway, thanks as always for the wonderful reviews, I look for them every morning and night, more if I have time, and they always just bring a smile to whatever insane day I'm having. This has been coming for a while, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Exhausted but please read and review. Also favorite and recommend to your friends, if you feel inspired to do so. I'd really appreciate it! i do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its characters or concepts, but the amount of caffeine I consume makes me feel like I inhabit their souls sometimes.


Chapter 49

Immediately Rory spotted Chris, walking towards the office door looking irritated. Jess sighed deeply and Rory put her hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Suddenly Chris turned and saw them. He scowled.

"I see you're back," he said pointedly, "I'll just be in the office."

"Chris…" Jess rolled his eyes, about to go after him. Rory pulled him aside.

"Can I try?" she asked quietly. Jess looked at her doubtfully.

"Rory, I don't mean to seem rude, but he really…"

"Dislikes me? I know," she sighed, "But I can't have you fighting all my battles for me. Even when you're more likely to win them. Just let me give it a shot, okay?"

"Your funeral," Jess shrugged, gesturing to the door, "But don't be surprised if he's harsh. I'm out here if you need me."

"I'll be back soon," she promised, knocking on the door before peeking in.

"Hey, Chris?" Rory walked in, shutting the door quickly behind her. He remained facing his computer.

"Not a good time," he replied, staring stonily at the screen, "I'm sure Jess can help you with whatever it is."

"It's not a question about Truncheon," she said, taking a seat in the chair opposite him. Chris sighed, turning around to face her.

"Then what is it?" he retorted, "Look, I'm kind of busy here. In case you forgot, this is actually a business. Ours, in fact. Not just your boyfriend's."

"You know we're not together. But that's not the point," Rory replied, "I didn't ask him to let me work here. But I did ask him to let me stay. And I get why you're angry with him about that, but I think you're being really unfair."

"To him or to you?" Chris inquired, glaring at her, "Because I have to admit, as bad as I feel about potentially mistreating Jess, I'm pretty damn sure you deserve whatever you're getting here, or definitely what you're getting from me. Look, I'm cordial most of the time, if not warm. But you can't expect that of me, after what you did to him. You screwed him over. And just because he seems to have conveniently forgotten it doesn't mean we did."

"He didn't forget anything. And I don't expect you to either," Rory looked at him directly, "You're right. I was terrible to him. Really, truly awful. And now I'm here begging more favors off of him. I see how it looks to you, and rightfully so."

"Don't even try to give me that whole skewed perspective bullshit," Chris spat, "Or your holier-than-thou condescension. It's not that complicated. He's our friend, you treated him like dog crap stuck to the bottom of your shoe, and then you come back expecting him to revere you and of course, he does. I'm sure you can see why that's frustrating."

"I do. I'm not trying to make excuses," Rory answered, "I don't want to fight. That's not why I'm here. But you're wrong about me expecting him to revere me. That's not why I'm here. I'm here because he's the only person I really depend on. You know what it's like to have Jess in your life. That being the case, you know damn well you can't begrudge me wanting to keep it that way."

"If you wanted to keep him in your life, you couldn't have been that cruel to him," Chris responded definitively, "I don't care if it's romantic or not, if you love someone, you can't hurt them that way."

"That's incredibly naïve," Rory said flatly. Chris looked shocked. "No, I'm not going to apologize, because I'm right here. As any person who really loves art, of any kind, is aware, love is the most painful thing on earth. One of the cruelest. And people treat those they love more terribly than anyone else. It's not pretty or right, but the people who matter the most hurt you the worst. Because they matter."

"And you think that since it's literary it makes it okay for you to act that way?" Chris asked disbelievingly, "In that case, we really shouldn't let you near Truman Capote."

"You're not listening," Rory replied, frustrated, "Of course it's not okay! It's awful! It's so incredibly terrible and cruel and unforgivable that I sobbed the entire way back to Connecticut, and turned around at least four different times. And even worse, I never drove all the way back. There is absolutely nothing okay about it. I'm not justifying it. I'm telling you that as destructive as it was for him, it destroyed me too. I hated doing that to him! I thought that I could be that kind of person, that I didn't care anymore, that it was Jess, even if it blew up, he could handle it. But I was lying to myself the entire time. I knew exactly how it would hurt him and I did it anyway and there is no excuse or reason I could ever give that would make it okay. Ever."

Chris inhaled deeply as Rory sunk into the chair, her cheeks flushed with hurt.

"Look, not that I don't appreciate your self-flagellation. My arms could really use the break. But what exactly are you trying to accomplish?" Chris asked, looking at her carefully, "If you think that just telling me that you understand how wrong it was and why we hate you is going to change it, that seems a little naïve in and of itself, wouldn't you think?"

"I don't expect you to forgive me and act like you like me and nothing ever happened. I'm not looking for a clean slate," Rory explained, meeting Chris' eye, "But Jess…things are…well, I don't know what things are, but I know they're good. And that I'm happy. And that I think he really is, too. But it hurts him that we can't get along, and that there's such tension there. I don't want a get-out-of-jail-free card, and I'm not asking you to speak for Matt too. I'm just saying that given how much you care about Jess, do you think there's any chance you could at least give me the opportunity to try to earn your respect, instead of just shutting me out completely? I'm willing to work for that. In fact, I think it's the only real way to remedy the situation. I don't want you to forgive me, I want to earn your forgiveness. I don't want you to trust me, I want to earn that trust. If you just gave me the answers I want, I'd know you didn't mean them. But I can't make any progress with you until you give me a shot to change your mind, and Jess will continue to suffer the negative consequences of it until we make some kind of progress. So I guess that's what I'm asking for."

"And if I say no?" Chris cocked his eyebrow and Rory sighed.

"That's your choice. Honestly, if you say no, I'll still stick around, and things will keep going as they are for a while before somehow we get into an either-or situation. And he'd probably choose you, and I'd leave, and you'd be stuck once again with a sullen, Rory-destroyed Jess. Or worse, he surprises us all and picks me, and then you're short a Jess in your life, and I speak from experience when I say it's a devastating loss. Either way, Jess loses. Which isn't fair, since it seems like the biggest thing we all have in common is thinking he deserves to win."

"You make a damn good point there," Chris admitted, sighing, "He didn't do anything wrong here. And he does like you, which speaks to something good in your character."

"So…"

"I'll try. For real this time," Chris agreed, giving Rory a nod and holding her gaze, "I think you've earned the right to at least that. We'll both try. No promises, but I'll do my best."

"I really appreciate it," Rory smiled at him, and stood up to leave.

"You really care about him, don't you?" Chris called as Rory walked towards the door. She stopped and turned to him slowly. She smiled softly.

"Yeah, I do." She shut the door behind her, leaving Chris to his thoughts.