Origins: Peach and Bowser

Mushroom Kingdom

Dear Mario,

Please come to the castle. I've baked a cake for you

Yours truly,

Princess Toadstool

Peach

"What's a got you so interested in that-a letter?" asked Luigi, bringing a freshly lit cigarette to his mouth.

The Mario Bros, Mario, and Luigi walked up the road to Princess Peach's Castle. Up the hill just a few feet away, and they'd be able to see the magnificent castle up ahead.

"This is a carbon copy of the letter she sent me before the Power Star debacle. Something's a-wrong."

"But it's still got all the tells doesn't it-a? The perfume? The ink?" asked the man in green as a plume of smoke emanated from what he had in his mouth

Mario's brow furrowed, "Like you'd be able to smell it, smokin' dat crap."

"Hey," Luigi stomped his foot indignantly as they walked, "The crap with the mansion I won is enough to drive a man to smoke."

"And now you've-a got a mansion. Cry me a river."

"Says the man who got stuck in a painting."

"Eh, I've been through worse."

"Whe-"

The duo was on top of the hill, Mario immediately holding his arm out to stop his brother, "Luigi, look."

Nestled in the grass was an airship. An unholy matrimony of steel and wood, Mario could spot Koopa armaments a mile away.

Mario bolted down the hill, Luigi following after him.

"Pick up the pace!" Mario demanded, "Princess Peach is under attack!"

"If that's the case," offered Luigi, "Why would it be parked, instead of flying?"

Mario skidded to a halt. Examining the airship as he walked closer, Mario felt a pang of recognition. This wasn't an attack vessel like the ones inherited by Bowser's horde of children. This was ornate, a flying yacht ordained with the Koopa royal crest.

This was Bowser's ship,

This was diplomatic.

"Ey Luigi, you're right," Mario sighed, "'Least Bowser ain't in one of his moods again,"

Luigi, who had been trotting behind, nodded in agreement. In silence, the two walked the rest of the way. A Toad shouted some overenthusiastic greeting, but both Mario Brothers simply waved at him. The Toad beckoned down to the door Toads, who opened the doors for the brothers. Immediately, the jovial laughter of Bowser and Peach echoed beyond the door. The shutting of the doors alerted both royals. Peach bore her usual warm smile, while Bowser's face twisted in childish indignation.

"Why are you here Mario Twerps?"

"I could ask you the same question," Mario growled.

"What, two royals can't discuss affairs without mustachioed jackasses afoot?" sneered Bowser.

Peach turned to Bowser, "In a way, this is to discuss affairs, just…not in the way you think,"

"What?" asked the other three simultaneously.

"There's…another guest," Peach explained.

"Another…?"

A posh laugh rang through the air

"Oh no…" Mario and Luigi muttered simultaneously.

Materializing seemingly out of thin air, a white-gloved hand appeared, the brothers striking defensive stances.

"Now now Mario Brothers," Master Hand chided, "I come in peace"

"Do you really?" snapped Luigi, "Because I seem to remember you fighting Mario to abduct all of us."

"And that was in the past," Master Hand explained, regret in his voice, "My defeat at your hands has made me think of my place in the universe. Smash Brothers are multi-dimensional. It could be used as a force of peace and unity."

"Which is why I negotiated Bowser and I's place in the tournament!" Peach announced.

Both brothers looked at each other, then back at Peach and Bowser, jaws agape.

"Peach, are you-a sure?" balked Mario.

"Gentlemen," Peach began, interlocking her gloved hands as she rested her elbows upright on the table.

Bowser, Luigi, and Mario exchanged worried glances. Each man had seen her strike this posture, and when she did, her conniving political mind, a facet of herself she kept well hidden, was out to play.

"I see this as a tremendous political opportunity. Think of it, the monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom and the King of the Koopas interlocked in friendly battle, but standing together alongside other political figures of different dimensions, each providing solutions to the others' problems."

"Well, when you put it that-a way…" Mario pondered.

"PLUS, I GET TO BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU!" Bowser blurted.

"That's great Bow-" Luigi began.

"BROTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHER!" shrieked a new voice with such ferocity that the beings with ears covered them.

A new hand appeared with an entirely inappropriate "boing' sound effect, flying all over the room.

"Crazy, what's wrong?" asked Master Hand.

Mario blinked. That was the first time he'd heard concern from the omnipotent hand that seemed genuine...

"I recruited the dinosaur and the monkey like you asked me to. The dinosaur tried to eat me with his long tongue, and then the monkey stuffed me into a barrel.

Master Hand took a lackadaisical stance, his knuckles cocked like heads in disbelief, "Dud he really?"

"No, BUT I IMAGINED IT!" shrieked Crazy.

Master Hand sighed. The remaining four made eye contact, knowing that if they did again, they'd burst into laughter.

"Where are my manners?" asked Master Hand, suddenly straightening, "This is my brother Crazy Hand. He stayed behind the last tournament, but given the more public nature of this one, I need his assistance as well."

"Wait," Luigi said, pointing at Crazy Hand, "You have a brother…"

"..named Crazy?" Mario asked, finishing the thought.

"That's The Reverend Doctor Crazy Honey Mustard BBQ Georgia Gold Gotta Be Gotta Be Domino's Doritos Taco Bell El Jefe Hand to you," huffed Crazy Hand.

"That is," Master Hand, his voice shaking with righteous anger, "Not your middle name. In fact, we don't have them. And when did you become a reverend and a doctor?"

"From school. I had to do something while you were gone,"

"School?"

"Yeah, school! I am an asset to any academic institution I choose to contribute to brother! It also helps that the Chinese restaurant whose menu came on the back of my diploma was freakin' delicious!"

"I hate to interrupt Master Hand, but shouldn't we be going?" Peach asked, "You said we would depart as soon as we had explained things to Mario and Luigi."

"Ah, yes I did. I sometimes get wrapped up in Crazy's eccentricities, even though they do become easier to deal with over time."

Mario snapped his gaze to Peach, who, as he predicted, opened his mouth to question such a contradiction, but her gaze caught his. As subtly as he could, he shook his head."

Both Hands snapped their fingers in the direction of the castle's basement door, a portal opening.

"Oh Your Highness," Master Hand stated, "I should mention that everyone who is going to be spectating will be informed soon."

Mario snapped his gaze to Luigi. His eyes were lit up, chest puffed out, ready to ask the ultimate question.

"Will Daisy be there?" Luigi asked.

"Yes. And after the tournament, you both can peruse Smash City to your heart's content." Master Hand explained.

"Luigi, did you really think I wouldn't invite her?" Peach asked.

Before Luigi could bashfully answer, Mario interrupted, "Woah Woah Woah, Smash City?"

"What," Master Hand scoffed, "Did you think I was going to have all the possible denizens of your world in one house?"

"I did pitch that idea,"

"Which is why we're not doing it Crazy," hissed Master Hand.

"The Biggest Brother is such a cool idea though..." whined Crazy.

"Seven Stars can we go now?" roared Bowser.

"I thought you'd never ask," Master Hand sighed.

And with that, the six crossed into the unknown.

(AN: We are officially in the Melee Era! I'll be using July-August to update this fic.)