Origins: Ganondorf

YOU…

CURSE YOU ZELDA!

CURSE YOU SAGES!

CURSE YOU LINK!

Someday… when the seal is broken…That is when I will curse your descendants.

Ganondorf of Gerudo Village sits in the white void of the Sages' seal, these echoed threats his only company.

Had it been months? Years? He didn't know. He didn't care. He had cast a visage of himself, Ganon, through time, to make their lives miserable. But that wasn't enough, It would never be enough until he could wring his neck with his hands.

As if on cue, two gloved hands appeared before him in a brilliant flash of light. One was poised and calm, the other was jittery.

"You Sages," Ganondorf snarled, "In addition to being completely pompous, you have a sick sense of humor."

"What are you talking about?" asked the calm hand.

" I haven't even gotten to my knock-knock joke book yet," mumbled the jittery hand.

Ganondorf's frown remained, but the rage in his eyes flittered out, "Hmm. So you are not an illusion?"

"As real as the seals that bind you," the calm hand confirmed.

"Buuuut they won't anymore. You'll even get to whoop Zelda and Link!" the wild hand shrieked.

"What must I do?" Ganondorf snapped.

"Hmm," the calm hand, scratching his ring knuckle with his thumb in thought, "You aren't concerned that there is a catch."

"You know not how it feels to be under an oppressive chain for wanting to change the world."

"We do! Our dad is…" the jittery hand squeaked flying loop-de-loops.

"Crazy! Calm yourself!" shouted the other hand as he snapped to Crazy's direction, causing 'Crazy' to sink down in a depressed slump.

"Are you two fools done?" hissed Ganondorf, smugness written all over his face.

"You would do well to mind your tongue towards your liberators," sternly warned the other hand.

"And you would do well to leave your childish squabbles at home."

The only sound was Ganondorf's echoed threats.

"Touché. I'm Master Hand, and my brother is Crazy Hand," Master Hand pointed to the still-despondent hand.

"I want a soda," whined Crazy.

"The pleasure's all yours," Ganondorf sneered, "Now can we break the seal, please? The sooner I get my hands on that boy and that snotty princess, the better."

"You'll have to wait."

"What? Why?"

"Because the setting will be a fighting tournament, with rules, and a death prevention system," Master explained.

"OSHA eat your heart out!" trumpeted the voice of Crazy.

"Your nonsense is trivial to me," Ganondorf declared, "As long as I am free. I will find a way."

Master Hand's body flipped upside down, palm up and opened, jolting up to simulate a shrug. Crazy, in contrast, did several loop-de-loops before mirroring his brother.

"What you do with your freedom is not up to me after the tournament. My only demand is that you do not harm Link, Zelda, or Young Link..."

\ "Young Link?" balked Ganondorf.

"We're cutting a deal with Mister Link to undo your mess. Freeing you is a catch."

"CLEAN UP CLEAN UP EVERYBODY DO YOUR SHARE!" sang Crazy.

"Fine," Ganondorf nodded, an evil smile forming on his face.

Turning towards each other, making pointing gestures at Ganondorf, the two shot lasers in his direction. The disposed king let out a curse in the ancient Gerudo dialect, wincing at what he thought was his impending doom. Instead, the magical seal where his body was chained throbbed, before breaking entirely.

"GRAB HIM! NOW!" ordered Master Hand.

Ganondorf only felt himself falling into the endless void for a second before Crazy Hand swooped to his rescue, enclosing him in a dark, rubbery hand. Ganondorf felt electricity crackle against Crazy's frame, and then smelled the fresh air.

I have been freed. The fools.