The Brawl Trailer

Langley, Virginia

2014

Solid Snake wandered through a series of hidden away graves in a private military cemetery. Rubber souled shoes squeaked against the meticulously kempt grass, each step a sharp pang shooting up his legs. His ill-fitting suit brushed against the gave next to the one he sought.

. A hero

Forever loyal

To the flames of war

Rises in

Outer Haven

193X-1999

The grave bore an intentionally gibberish date of birth and no name in memorium. But Snake knew who this was dedicated to. He'd been here a million times.

Snake pulled an iPod from his breast pocket, inserting the headphones into his ears. He could hear Otacon and Sunny trying and failing to stifle their giggles in the theater of his imagination as he impatiently spun the wheel. He knew enough to get to the song. His song. His father's favorite song.

Snake lit up a cigarette as the song's somber, quick piano intro graced his ears, sucking in his noxious delight.

"There's one thing I must do," Snake whispered to himself

Here's to you, Nicola and Bart.

Rest forever here in our hearts

The last and final moment is yours

And agony is your triumph

Snake took in one final puff, inhaling deep into his lungs. Much like he'd heard her giggles earlier, he heard Sunny's stuttering yet authoritative voice demanding he not smoke. Snake exhaled, breathing out the smoke in a shaken breath. This was it.

"One last punishment I must endure," Snake monologued, "Erase my genes, wipe this meme from the face of the Earth."

Snake dropped his cigarette.

"This," Snake said, stepping rigidly towards the grave, "Is my final mission,"

The wind changed, blowing from the west to the east. Was this a sign? Had he for once, in his bastardized existence, made the old man proud?

Snake withdrew his gun, pointing it at the grave. He felt an intrusive thought boil in his brain, the urge to fire a few pot shots just for fun. He shook the thought away, removing the magazine, and tossing it away. That wasn't why he was here.

The neurons in his fingers humming in pain, he loaded the final ingredient to the greatest concoction the world had ever seen.

One bullet. His brains blown out in the grass would be the coup de grace.

He sunk to his knees, turning the pistol on himself. Sharp, wheezing breaths were the only sign of fear as he invited the weapon into his open mouth. He gagged and gagged again. Steadying his breathing, the air in his lungs arched around the gun as he exhaled.

"You-a know, you were supposed to meet him here, a-Big Boss," factually stated a voice.

Snake withdrew the gun from his mouth, pointing it in the direction of this new voice, to his left. In the split second between him drawing and pulling the trigger, he saw a familiar figure, holding a plethora of Budweiser products in a yoke.

BAM!

ZIG!

He jumped, easily avoiding the bullet. The sound his jumps made. It was him.

"You're…you're real," Snake's voice shook, "If I were hallucinating you wouldn't have avoided the contact."

"Forgive me," Mario roughly removed a can from the yoke, popping it open, "But I'mma need one of these earlier than I thought-a,"

He chugged the beer as Snake spoke.

"What was that you were saying, about meeting Big Boss?"

"You were supposed to meet him here, but the specifics behind that would-a involved a document so classified not even your Otacon would be able to find them. At least, not yet."

Snake grumbled.

"What?" Mario asked sympathetically, "Frustrated somebody's-a hitting you with more intricately woven nonsense, even as you come to terms with being a public health risk?"

Snake simply motioned to him. Mario unfurled a beer, tossing it overhand. Snake caught it.

"Lemme just say, thank The Seven Stars for the guy who did the intelligence work before he parted ways with our organization. Otherwise, I'd have drunk a lot more than this just trying to dissect all this.."

"Organization? You don't strike me as a task force type Mario," Snake observed, the slightest lilt of humor cracking in his raspy voice on the last word.

"I'm not, but we need you for a tournament, and I'm willing to give you all the resources you need to keep you and your associates safe."

"I'll do whatever I have to, not for me, but for my friends."

Mario smiled, "You'll-a fit right in David,"

With that, Mario pulled a syringe from his overalls.

"This my friend," Mario began, "Is the cure to FOXDIE. You'll revert to where you shoulda been age-wise, that is, five years older than you would've been after Big Shell, physically."

"How?" Snake shouted, "Naomi Hunter couldn't figure out the cure, how could you?"

"I come from a world where mushrooms that make you grow giant exist, is-it a so hard to believe I have the cure?"

Grumbling, Snake pulled up his left sleeve, angling for the rest of his beer with his right.

"Aht aht," Mario tutted, "I've been told that you probably shouldn't have any fluids in your throat while this takes place."

Mario leaped forward, hitting a vein in Snake's exposed arm. For the legendary soldier, everything went dark.

Battlefield

Snake stirred awake and felt..nothing. No sharpshooting pain. His gloved hands didn't cry out as he flexed his fingers.

Wait. Gloves? I wasn't wearing gloves before Snake remembered.

Snake shook himself awake. A small slit in…whatever he was in let the sun shine in.

Snake reached up…brushing his fingers against the ceiling

Cardboard.
He was in a cardboard box

Snake scrambled up lightly, peering through the cardboard box. His bones didn't snap, crackle, and pop in protest of his positioning either. Put simply, he felt younger.

He looked through the slit in the cardboard box. Mario stood underneath a series of platforms in a triangle shape. The sun shone brightly, and the wind picked up slightly, but neither seemed to affect him.

Instinctively, Snake tapped his outer ear.

"Can anyone hear me?"

"Snake! You're finally awake!" cheered a familiar voice.

"Otacon?"

"Yeah, we all got briefed after you did."

Snake raised an eyebrow, "We all?"

"Colonel Roy Campbell standing by,"

"Mei Ling standing by,"

Snake let the smallest of smiles escape him.

"Good," Snake said, collecting himself, "So what's the M.O for this one Colonel?"

"You've been instructed to watch until the time is right. Mario trusts you'll know when that is."

"Got it,"

As if on cue, three portals opened up. Out of the first stepped an elven-looking man holding a sword and shield. The second, a small mouse creature stepped through. The third, a pink blob floated through.

"Awww, a Pikachu! So cute!" cooed Mei Ling.

"You'll have to brief me later,"

Sure enough, the Pikachu was the first to make a move. He fiddled with a watch, finally speaking.

"What's the emergency boss?" asked Pikachu, "Was relaxing with the boy and Mewtwo's brood when I got the message."

"Yeah," the swordsmen agreed, "Was in the middle of helping the mayor of my new village with something. The tournament isn't for a while longer right?"

"That's Link," whispered Otacon, "He just go through with the Twilight incident,"

Snake nodded.

Mario nodded to Link, "Just wanted to test out some subsystems really quick. You're free to stick around here after or head back. You'll get the official order to report later."

"Is this gonna be like when Uncle Meta-Knight tests me on sword stuff? I hate tests!" pouted the blob.

"No Kirby, it'll be fun, and it's not for anything. You're just helping us figure out a new thing. That alright kiddo!"

Kirby jumped for joy, "YAY! I like new things!"

"Alright guys, on 'go.' Three, two, one, go!"

Pikachu found his way to the rightmost platform, while Kirby fell from the top, cartwheeling into Mario and Link, who had chosen to charge each other. Suddenly, the stage transformed from a serene battlefield to a medieval castle under siege. A sword slash from Link seemed to juggle Kirby right into a fire-addled palm strike from Mario. The castle scene gave way to the battlefield again.

"KIRBY! BACK TO BACK!" shouted Pikachu.

Kirby nodded, brandishing a sword from nowhere as Pikachu fired a jolt of electricity from his cheeks. The fanning motion Kirby made with his sword projected out, Mario and Link feeling the sting of both attacks. The scene changed again, to a place Snake could determine on smell alone. Metal and oil danced in a tango in his nostrils.

"We're in a hangar," Snake narrated to his support team.

Sure enough, as Kirby flip kicked Mario into the air and met Pikachu in the air, countering a dashing attack with a spinning hammer technique, the hangar opened revealing…a ship with a knight's helm on the front. This seemed to give Kirby a joyous pause as the ship, and the platform on which they all stood, took to the sky.

"UNCLE META!" Kirby cheered, "You're here!"

Halberd control room, weeks earlier.

Mario warped into the control room of the Halberd. If Meta-Knight, the being who stoically steered the mammoth ship, was aware of his presence, he wasn't letting on. Mario stepped slowly towards him.

"You have thirty seconds to tell me why you've defiled this sacred ground Mario," sternly warned the knight.

"Just to let you know your time has come. You've been invited to the next Smash tournament."

Meta-Knight was grateful for his masked face. He did not dare to let Mario see him smile.

"Good," nonchalantly agreed Meta-Knight, "When and where do we begin?"

Halberd stage, now.

Sure enough, Meta-Knight jumped down from an upper part of the Halberd and onto the combat platform. First Mario, then Kirby, then Link were met with a blur of sword slices, eliminating the three of them for now. Pikachu simply stood back. Meta-Knight's flurry was interrupted by something whizzing through the air. Meta-Knight blocked it with his cape, glaring in the direction from which it had come.

Snake's eyes widened. An angel had graced them, the bowstring pulled back threateningly on yet another light arrow.

"In the name of Lady Palutena," the angel declared, "I, Pit, captain of Her army, will defeat you."

Palutena's temple, weeks earlier

Following the coordinates in the database The Hands had left behind, he now found himself in a throne room, the marble chamber cleaned so deeply that Mario could see his reflection on nearly every surface.

"I anticipated your arrival, Mario Mario," a sultry voice from the end of the room.

A green-haired woman in a toga sat lazily on a golden throne, grinning invitingly at Mario.

"So…you're Palutena then?" Mario gulped.

"You've done your research then?" Palutena mocked him lightly, "Good. Pit will be thrilled."

"So we're not going to talk about the favor The Hands owe you?"

"My favor to them was not smiting them immediately upon plucking people out of the natural universe for their silly gamesmanship. However, Pit and I have reached a compromise. I will offer Pit to the tournament, an emissary in my steed, and if he trusts that all is well, you will have an ally in me."

"Okie Dokie!" nodded Mario, "Can I talk to Pit?"

Palutena snapped her fingers, and a beautiful angel boy appeared, chocolate ice cream all over his face.

"Gah! Lady Palutena!" shrieked Pit, "I was in the middle of lunch. What's the emergen-"

And then he and Mario made eye contact.

"Oh my Palutena, Oh, Oh my Palutena," Pit hyperventilated

Mario peeked over Pit, eying Palutena on the throne. Her grin had become a full-on smile. There was something she liked about this, but quite frankly, Mario didn't want to know.

"You're him," shrieked Pit.

"Yep. It's-a-me, Mario."

"Oh man," Pit laughed, "Are you here to invite me to the-"

"Yep," Mario nodded, smiling.

"Oh man, " Pit croaked, "Lady Palutena, permission to go?"

Palutena giggled, "Always,"

Suddenly, her face turned stoic.

"Remember Captain Pit," she commanded, "This is a mission of serious reconnaissance. Success here could mean more adventures bestowed upon us by the creator, and new allies."

"Right," Pit nodded, "Serious. Serious like Serious Sam. Got it."

Halberd stage, now.

Pit snapped the Light Arrow forward, Meta Knight dodging I t easily with his caped wings, closing the gap.

Pit snapped the bow in half, twirling the two halves in an exaggerated kata. Pit flew higher into the air to avoid a barrage from Meta-Knight.

"I've heard of you Sir Meta-Knight, and your dastardly Galaxia," Pit growled

Pit dipped down, but Meta-Knight flew up.

"Coward!" snapped Pit, "Face me!"

Meta-Knight grunted in acknowledgment, "So be it."

And so, the two landed, immediately clashing their weapons against one another...

Snake heard a machine whir that immediately sent shivers up his spine. He had heard many doomsday weapons prime to fire in his day, this was yet another.

Pit and Meta-Knight were so interlocked in their battle that it took the light from the beam for it to register. Samus Aran stepped forward, firing the beam. As Pit and Meta-Knight broke form, her Varia Suit crumbled off of her.

"Samus is a girl?" Kirby balked.

"Shut up," Samus growled.

Training Room

Smash Mansion

A day earlier

Mario watched from the auditorium as Samus cracked open a Smash Ball, firing her Zero Beam into the open air, her suit melting off of her.

"Mama Mia, you're a girl?"

"Shut up," Samus growled in the direction of the auditorium.

Halberd Stage

Now

The hubbub of Samus' little stunt didn't matter, it couldn't matter. Pit leaped to challenge Samus, the woman unfurling a laser whip. For the advancement of Palutena's glory, it could not deter him.

Snake watching the angel and the bounty hunter circle when a voice broke his concentration

"Oh! Snake! The stage changed!" Otacon stated.

"Spare us the obvious Otacon," snapped Campbell, "Snake, do you know where we are?"

"The first stage of Super Mario Brothers," Snake concluded.

"Didn't take you as a gamer Snake."

"I don't Mei," Snake said, "There was an NES in the barracks when I started getting my feet wet in my military career."

A grinding motor broke the attention of Samus and Pit.

"Hmm," Snake muttered, "What kind of idiot brings a motorcycle to a fight like this?"

"IT'S A-ME, WARIO!" declared the fat, ugly man atop the hog.

Warioware Inc.

Diamond City

A week earlier

Mario had been sitting in the overly plush leather chairs of Warioware Inc's waiting room, Luigi nervously sat beside him. Even in this prismatic office, every wall adorned with pig snouts of all things, Mario could still sense everything he despised about Kitchen Island's only metropolis, Diamond City. He'd known Wario all his life, and the city he'd founded carried all of his worst traits. Smog hung thick in the air. Whorish, selfish capitalists walked the streets, zombified by the latest trends, adorned in gaudy fashion. Car horns beeped loudly, and the people aimed to scream louder over petty misunderstandings.

"Like the worst neighborhood in-a New Donk," Mario muttered.

Luigi patted the pocket in his overalls for the millionth time, grinning that it was still stuffed with something, "I know, but you know why we're here."

"Unfortunately," Mario growled.

The receptionist cleared her throat as she stood, drawing the attention of both Mario Brothers to her odd outfit. Dressed in a long-sleeved shirt despite Diamond City's summer heat, a house apron, and capris, she smiled at them, brushing her brown locks out of her face.

"It might be a Diamond City thing, we don't know," Luigi whispered, immediately reading Mario's befuddled expression.

"This way Mario Brothers," she said cheerily.

Stepping to a pig-snout-adorned elevator, she invited the brothers inside. The doors closed and she pressed a button, inserting a company ID into a card reader. The elevator pinged approvingly, and up they went. A grinding tropical instrument began to play as they ascended up the building.

"NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH," Wario's pre-recorded voice sang in tune with the instruments.

"Boss Wario composed this music himself? Isn't it wonderful?" gushed the receptionist.

"I envy the deaf," Mario snapped, completely deadpan.

"What Mario means is," quickly stammered Luigi, "This isn't music isn't what we're used to in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Boss Wario informed me this might be the case,"

"Oh, he did, did he?" Mario snidely remarked

The rest of the elevator ride was spent in silence, the receptionist seemingly none the wiser about Mario's mood.

The music cut and Mario felt his blood pressure decrease, only to increase again when he saw what was at the other end of the gaudy yellow and purple office. Wario and a girl with long orange hair were in the midst of a sloppy, noisy make-out session.

"Sir, your 1 o'clock is here," 5-Volt announced.

Wario jumped so violently that he threw the girl to the floor.

"5-Volt! Don't scare me like-a dat!" he demanded.

"My apologies sir," 5-Volt bowed as Mario and Luigi stepped off the elevator.

Wario's perpetual smile only seemed to widen as the elevator door closed.

"Mario Brothers, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he purred.

"Who's the girl? It's nice of you to help the blind Wario,"

"I'm not blind," matter-of-factly stated the girl, finally scrambling to her feet.

"Well, I just figured you'd have to be to be playin' tonsil hockey with that," Mario snapped.

"Ah, where are my manors?" Wario realized, "This is Mona, my treasure hunting assistant,"

"And you're the Mario Brothers obviously," Mona held out a hand, "It's a pleasure,"

Mario just stared her down, "I know where that's been,"

"You're just mad your prissy little princess can't hold a candle to my girl," Wario shouted.

"At least Peach ain't still in high school you fuckin' creep,"

"I'm 18," protested Mona.

"Yeah now, but how old were you when you met?" Mario countered.

"Enough," Wario snapped, "Nothing could-a ruin my mood-a. I know why you're-a here. Miss 5-Volt-a told me you boys-a used portal technology to arrive. If you were here for anything else you'd have come by plane."

"Fine," Mario sighed, debating whether the room's purple shag carpet or Wario's mug was the prettier sight, "Luigi, give it to him,"

Stepping forward, Luigi removed an envelope from his overall pockets, sliding it across the table. Wario's smile grew even more sinisterly wide.

"YAY WARIO!" cheered Mona.

She kissed him on the cheek. Mario had to choke back vomit. Wario began to laugh uncontrollably.

"It's like I always say Mona," Wario turned to his ecstatic girlfriend, "You throw-a enough money around-a, you-a get what you want! WAH HA HA HA!"

"Great," Mario rolled his eyes, "We'll be on our-a way,"

Mario and Luigi didn't even turn before Wario hollered.

"WAIT-A," he demanded, holding out a hand, "Let's make-a dis official!"

"No," Mario decreed.

Despite the out-and-out rejection, Wario still smiled.

"Oh, if you-a want to reject a-me," he coyly stated, "We could-a return to our pre-Melee relationship. I did enjoy leaving you all those messages…"

Mario reciprocated the handshake so quickly that Wario's smile wavered for a second. The handshake reciprocated, Mario spoke, "I guess if you're-a in it for the long haul, we can talk about the debut promo we're filming. Any ideas about your presentation?"

Wario chortled, "Well, I've been building a custom hog with-a my-a free time…"

Mushroomy Kingdom Stage

Now

The motorcycle's exhaust pipe sputtered Wario immediately losing control of the bike.

"WAHHHHHHHH" screamed the portly man as he skidded into a dusty pipe.

Stepping off the bike as if he hadn't completely botched his entrance, Wario began to shout.

"YES! IT IS I, ZE GREAT WARIO, AND I'M GONNA CREAM ALL Y-"

Wario's stomach gurgled so violently it registered with all the other combatants.

"Oh Stars," Wario moaned, "Shouldn't-a had Mona's garlic ice cream before-"

His stomach expanded, the noxious fart that resulted formed a mushroom cloud of gas. Snake briefly considered what he'd read about Operation Snake Eater, how his father had survived two nuclear blasts, but any errant thoughts were shoved away as the dust settled. They were now on the Battlefield they'd been on before, Mario, Link, and Kirby clearing the cobwebs to charge each other again.

"Now Snake," Otacon ordered, "Now's your chance!"

Throwing the box away, Snake declared, "It's show time!"

A single kick sent Mario far away, a colorful explosion marking his elimination. Kirby was next, taking a point-blank rocket launcher blast to get sent to the same place Mario had gone. Snake rolled backward to dodge a sword slice from Link. He pulled out a detonator, much to Link's befuddlement.

"THERE!" Snake shouted, pressing the button.

An explosion sent Link to the sidelines.

"Snake wins!" Mario's voice declared shakily.

The arena around them fizzled to reveal an all-white room, with a center console shaped like an arcade cabinet at its center. The doors opened, everyone sans Wario walking back in to congratulate him.

"Well Snake," Mario concluded to the applause around him, "This is Super Smash Brothers Brawl. The tournament starts in a few days, and the city opens up on the same day as Opening Ceremonies. Link and Samus have been around since the beginning, so don't be afraid to ask any questions."

"Got it," Snake nodded.

"Your eyes betray uncertainty warrior," Link noticed as the group departed.

"This is…" Snake began.

"A lot?" Link finished, "Yeah. Holograms, lasers, all things that gave me quite a bit of pause when I first began here, but I bet you'll learn as I have."

Snake grunted his agreement when Otacon spoke up, "And you'll have me too. Well, Colonel and Mei too, but I don't think they know too much about video games."

"Having you yammer about this nerd stuff was exactly what I was afraid of,"

"Oh Snake," teased Otacon, "You enjoy watching me and Sunny play games!"

Snake ignored him as he exited the training room with Link.

.