Reticence Saga

Severed Web

Chapter 23: The Great Mysterio

"Hey, true believers. If you've been keeping up to date, you'll know that Doctor Octopus released four supervillains, probably so they could join his new Sinister Six team. The good news is that we've taken down Goblin, Electro, and Hydro-Man. The only one left: Mesmero. Yeah, I'm sure you all remember him, the hypnotizing jerk who made me switch minds with someone else, twice. However, Mesmero seems to have gone to ground and there's not a lot of crime that requires superheroes right now. For Nick Fury, it means it's time to be vigilant and proactive. For guys like my outer space merc buddies, it means sitting in their bunker and doing nothing. And that can wear on you after so long."


Matt sighed happily, collapsing onto his bed. The shop was closed, there were no alerts, he could finally sleep. This happy state of affairs lasted an entire 20 seconds, a new personal record...

"WHICH BLITZNAK DRANK MY MINERAL WATER?" screamed Kala's voice, Matt's bloodshot eyes shooting open with a mad stare.

"I'm going to pretend she's screaming about something more dire than mineral water," grumbled Matt.

He was just about to fall asleep before his door was flung open with a slam, Kala stomping in. "Matt, this is the last straw! Even my water isn't sa...why are you whimpering?" she asked.

Matt made a gurgling noise before he said a slightly giggling voice, "Matty need sleep...all work and no sleep make mercenary go postal...and you woke me up for water..."

"Unless I have something under lock and key, it's constantly pillaged. And I'm betting your cooling tower of a sister took my water," said Kala.

"Did the bottle have your name on it?" said Matt, the giggling getting worse. Anyone else would have backed out of the room by now. Sadly Kala was missing the warning signs

"It shouldn't have to. I'm the only one who buys that mineral water. But that ogress doesn't care what belongs to who. As long as it's in the fridge, she eats or drinks it," complained Kala.

Matt's mad smile got wider than that. "Kala...you know I love you...right?" he said.

"Of course," said Kala.

"So...take this as you may...but if you ever call my sister an ogress again, I'll turn you into a handbag and matching dragonskin boots and gloves, ok?" said Matt in a same manically friendly voice.

Kala seemed to notice Matt's bloodshot eyes for the first time, "Are you ok?"

"In the last week...I've had 30 minutes sleep. The next person to wake me up, timeline specific or not...without a PHENOMENALLY GOOD REASON...will die...slowly...via a spork..." said Matt, before starting to giggle insanely.

Kala slowly backed out of the room. She was still going to yell at Chloe. But maybe she'll whisper-yell now. "Erm...does saying 'sleep well count as a-YES IT DOES!" she began, yelping as a dagger tore into the wall next to her, Kala slapping the door shut and leaning on it.

Tensions were getting high elsewhere in the bunker. Kala wasn't the only one having her food and drink stolen. "That was my pork you stole!" snapped Taelina.

"You didn't have your name on it," said Chloe tauntingly.

"I need the protein. Mostly cause you people are convinced I want to eat everyone and won't let me out to exercise," snapped Taelina.

"Well, you aren't really against eating humans, are you?" asked Chloe pointedly.

"You think this figure maintains itself?" asked Taelina.

"Isn't that a demigod thing?" asked Chloe.

"Even demigods can get out of shape," snapped Taelina.

"You know, I think you're right. It's already happening," said Chloe, poking Taelina in the stomach.

Taelina twitched at that before her fist met Chloe's snout.

The slugging was only starting when a voice snapped, "Hey you mutts!" The wolves turned to face an irate Lana. "First of all, keep that racket down," snapped Lana, "And secondly, could you hairballs not shed so much in the shower? I've been picking hairs out of me all day."

"Oh don't be all wet," sneered Chloe.

"Ok, then you can both be wet," said Lana before spraying water at the two wolves.

Silvana walked into the scrap at that, her smile glazing a little before she said "I'll come back later."


Zira and NegaMorph could hear the brawl going upstairs. "The dogs are at it again," commented NegaMorph.

"Meh," said Zira flatly.

"Sounds like the hose is being turned on them," said NegaMorph.

"Meh," repeated Zira.

NegaMorph frowned. "You have anything other than 'meh' to add to this conversation?" he said, doing a mocking 'meh'.

"Nah," said Zira.

"Oh you can say words," said NegaMorph in an annoyed voice, starting to lose his temper

"Meh," said Zira.

"Ok...let's clear the air...what's your problem with me, pipsqueak?" snapped Negaorph, looming over her and, to a minor amount of shame, making sure he was in full 'terrifying' mode.

"My problem is that you're a cannibal with 623 victims," snapped Zira.

"Is that it?" asked NegaMorph, "They weren't even your kind."

"They were experiments!" snapped Zira, her eyes starting to glow a little.

"They were clones of experiments," said NegaMorph.

"That's...nngh...not the...point!" snapped Zira, before her eyes twitched.

NegaMorph frowned before muttering, "What was the deal with you again?"

He leaned in and grinned as she grabbed him in one hand, before yelping as he was lifted off his feet as she gained several feet in height and about 300 pounds of muscle

"Oh yeah, now I remember," said NegaMorph.

Kira said calmly, "I'm gonna punch you now. I don't know when I'll stop. Ok?"

"No more than half an hour. My show will be on," said NegaMorph.

"No promises," said Kira, pulling her arm back, NegaMorph, pulling his hand down over his face.


Needless to say, cabin fever was finally raising its ugly head, as noticed by almost everyone nursing a black eye, the exceptions being Kira/Zira, Silvana, and Matt, who, when a bruised NegaMorph had tried to wake up for lunch, had screamed something about enchiladas and made NegaMorph explode. There was an unspoken agreement to let him sleep...

Chris was currently trying to address the issue. "Ok, ladies...and NegaMorph and Morph," said Chris.

"Hello," said Morph brightly.

"It's becoming clear that our extended stay here is leading to high tensions," said Chris.

"You don't say..." said Kala icily, a ice pack over her left eye.

"Therefore, as second-in-command, I think we should-" started Chris.

"Who made you second-in-command?" snarled Taelina, Chloe and Kala snapping "Yeah." in unison.

"You did, when you demoted yourselves by stooping to hair-pulling," said Chris flatly.

NegaMorph twitched before he leaned towards Chris. "Run...just run," he said calmly.

"THE POINT BEING" yelled Chris before this could turn ugly, "We are clearly needing to get out of the bunker."

"Yes...I need out!" snapped Taelina, leaping forward and pulling Chris so they were eye-to-eye. "Taelina wants OUT!" she growled manically.

"Back off, sister!" snapped Chloe, grabbing Taelina and yanking her back.

Chris sighed as they began fighting again.


It had been quiet for Spider-Man too, but at least he's been able to catch up on stuff he's falling behind with. Of course, it helped that now all the people close to him knew his secret identity and he didn't have to keep making up excuses.

He paused to check his schedule on a rooftop. For once, it seemed, he;d managed to keep on top of everything.

"Boy, can't remember the last time that's happened," said Spider-Man, "I wonder if I could ask Fury for a vacation."


"A vacation? Sure. You've worked hard enough," said Fury, "In fact, why don't I book you an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas?"

"Really?" asked Spider-Man.

"NO, NOT REALLY!" snapped Fury, his head getting bigger as he yelled, "YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SIT ON YOUR BUTT WHILE THE WORLD KEEPS TURNING?! GET ON OUT THERE AND STOP SOME CRIME!"


"Maybe just a coffee..." he said to himself.

Just then, his communicator rang. "Now what?" asked Spider-Man before answering. "Spider-Man, do you have a minute to talk?" asked a face he hadn't seen for a while.

"Sure, Francine," said Spider-Man, "What's up? How's your father? How did you get this number?"

"I...I got a bit of a problem. My dad's old Mysterio stuff's vanished," said Francine.

"Oh, you mean it disappeared?" asked Spider-Man.

"I'm serious, Spider-Man. Someone's stolen it," said Francine.

Spider-Man paused at that. Her father was Mysterio, one of the few villains who had given him a run for his money, mostly as he'd had a little outside help. That same spell had almost claimed Francine later.

But that same spell was broken, wasn't it? Even so, Quentin Beck had the equipment to make very convincing illusions. Spider-Man wasn't sure if he went hard-light before or after that demonic pact.

"Spider-Man, if someone gets their hands on his old gear... Magic or no magic, it's dangerous," Francine said desperately.

"Well, I didn't say I wouldn't help," said Spider-Man, "Do you have any suspects?"

"Not many...the guards don't remember seeing anyone," said Francine.

"Hmm...well, I just need to check on something then I'll swing over," said Spider-Man.

"Ok...don't be too long though," said Francine, sounding worried.


After landing in an alley and changing into his civilian clothes, Peter headed down towards the coffee shop, only to see it suspiciously closed. "Odd, shouldn't it be about the lunch hour?" asked Peter.

As he approached, his spider-sense went off, Peter backing up in time to avoid Taelina being thrown through the window.

"Er, Taelina, isn't it?" asked Peter.

Taelina snarled at him. "Begone from this place lest I...oh, hello Spider-Man. Where is your armor?" she said, her tone changing from anger to normal like a switch had been flipped.

"Uh, this was a social call," said Peter.

"Oh...that's nice. I'm currently discussing leadership issues with Miss Lynch," said Taelina, dusting herself off, looking around for something before grabbing a garbage can lid, yelling "COME ON THEN!" and climbing back through the window, a rhythmic clanging heard.

"Uh, is there someone sane in there I can talk to?" called Peter.

Morph flew out the window at that, splatting against a roadsign. "Hi, Peter, have you come to join in too?" he said cheerfully.

"Er...no. I just wanted to ask for help on something. Is there anyone else not too busy fighting?" asked Peter.

"Oh, I'll get Silvana," said Morph before peeling himself off the road sign and walking back in.

There was some muttering before Silvana's voice was heard yelling "EVERYDRAKE PACK IT THE HELL IN!" the sounds of fighting ceasing.

Soon enough, Silvana walked out in her human form. Her hair was a little disheveled and her sleeve had been torn, but she looked fine. "Hello, Peter," she said pleasantly, "How are you?"

"I just came to check on you guys," said Peter.

Silvana's smile strained, "That's fine. Sorry but we're closed...and for Avalar's sake, please find us somewhere quiet to go or something to do before they wake Matt up."

"So...I guess you wouldn't be interested in helping with a mission then," said Peter.

Silvana shot forward at that, hugging him and sobbing. "Oh thank you, thank you, I was this far from snapping," she said.

"Ok...fine...three second rule..." wheezed Peter, who had forgotten the robotic strength beneath Silvana's organic exterior.

Silvana let go at that. "Erm...sorry," she said.

"So, how many of you are available?" asked Peter.

"All of us except Matt...he's sleeping. He has been for 2 days now but when we tried to wake him he made NegaMorph explode and swore at us in...Spanish I think," said Silvana.

"When was the last time you were on vacation?" asked Peter.

"I dunno...what's a vacation?" asked Silvana

"This is who I go to when I need to investigate stolen illusionist equipment?"

"Well, we were still your first choice," said Silvana, making Peter jump.

"It's cause our base computer makes anything SHIELD has look like calculators," said Chloe calmly.

"Oh, Chloe, when did you get out here?" asked Peter before noticing Chloe's shiner, "What happened in there?"

"I've been explaining the pecking order to Taelina. So far it's a draw," said Chloe icily.

"Right...so, you want to leave anyone behind?" asked Peter.

There was a pause before everyone said, "Matt."

"Ok, but let's not try to overcrowd this," said Peter.


Quentin Beck, formerly Mysterio, had retired from supervillainy. Being trapped inside a cursed helmet for months certainly taught one what was really important in life. His illusionary equipment had been handed over to SHIELD and was stored in a warehouse. Emphasis on 'was'.

Francine was waiting just outside, pacing nervously when she saw a small group approaching. "You have got to be joking..." she muttered.

"Yeah, I kinda got more people wanting to help than I expected," said Spider-Man.

Silvana landed first in her half draconic form, her eyes glowing and highlighting that they were definitely robotic and bowing calmly. "Greetings, I'm temporarily in charge," she said happily.

"Says who?" snapped Salamandra.

Silvana turned to look at her, made creepy that her head turned 180 degrees. "I do...problem?" she said, before turning it back, remembering from how Chloe had kept order in the past.

"I suppose it doesn't matter right now," grumbled Salamandra.

"No it doesn't...so what's the problemo?" said Silvana happily.

"Someone stole all my dad's gear," said Francine

"That all? We're wasting our time for this?" snapped Moonshock, yelping as Zira kicked the back of her shin.

"My dad was Mysterio," said Francine, sounding insulted.

"Who?" asked Moonshock.

"He was a supervillain," said Spider-Man, "Retired now."

"Before we got here, have you told her we're aliens?" said Salamandra.

"So?" asked Francine.

There was an air of disappointment at that, Zira asking politely, "Can you at least pretend to be shocked? I think they expect it now."

"Ok, fine, what planet are you guys from?" asked Francine, rolling her eyes.

"Science lab," said Salamandra.

Moonshock said, "Alternate dimension."

Silvana said, "I'm a resurrected dragon from the dawn of time."

"I'm not sure if my home system is on your planet's star maps," said Lana, "I probably shouldn't reveal where it is."

Zira held up her paw. "Same science lab as her," she said, pointing at Salamandra

"And I was born in the Hunting Grounds of the greatest hunter in the multiverse," said Taelina proudly.

"I thought you were born in Skyrim," said Moonshock.

"Bite me you-" began Taelina before Spider-Man muttered to Fancine "They were going nuts cooped up in that bunker of theirs. This might do them some good." before they looked over to where Chloe and Taelina were trying to choke each other, the experiments of the group and for some reason Salamandra egging both sides on

"Isn't there someone else you can ask for help?" asked Francine, "These guys look like they couldn't find a matching pair of socks."

Moonshock paused in her strangling, before she and Taelina looked at Francine, Moonshock saying "You went to a swimming pool this morning. I can smell the chlorine...and the mustard...the one on 25th I assume."

Taelina said, "And from the jingling in your pocket, I think you still have $3:20 left."

"Since when did you know about American currency?" asked Salamandra.

Taelina said in a dark tone, "There wasn't much to do but read."

"What kind of supervillain was your dad anyways?" asked Zira.

"He was a master illusionist," said Francine.

"Illusions aren't that big a deal," said Lana.

"Don't be so sure," said NegaMorph, "Some illusions can be really convincing and make your body think what's happening is real."

"Especially if those illusions are back by hard-light or whatever's left of Dormammu's magic," said Francine.

"Dark magic?" snapped Taelina at that.

"I'm pretty sure it was all dispelled," said Francine.

"That's the thing, you never know," snarled Taelina, glaring at Moonshock as she muttered "You would know."

"Doesn't that apply to you?" asked Taelina pointedly.

"Moonshock wouldn't know magic if it jumped onto her and hijacked her mind," said Salamandra, "Which it has on many an occasion."

"Look...that thing's hard-light tech. Any two bit hood could cause mayhem with it," snapped Francine.

"So let's try to figure out which two-bit hood took it," said Spider-Man.


Moonshock picked up some of the tech that had been left behind, a small cube. "So...what's this do?" she asked, prodding it.

A purple smoke started being emitted from the cube. "Is this the worst he could make?" she muttered, tossing the cube aside and picking up a more advanced-looking one

When she poked about this one, it let loose a green fire with a screaming face.

holographic, but enough to startle someone

"Ok...more impressive," she said, turning it over to read 'soft light prototype 5' handwritten on a sticker on the bottom.

"Hey, where are the floating rings? The white rabbits? The box you put a lady inside so you can saw her in half?" asked Morph.

Francine looked over at Morph, saying, "My dad wasn't a stage magician."

"Too bad," said Spider-Man, "He could have killed it in Vegas."

"There's no money in stage magic these days," said Francine, "That's why he had to turn to crime."

Moonshock picked up a half-built cube. "Why? He coulda gone mainstream with this tech and been as rich as Stark." she said, looking at the circuitry.

"I dunno. Guess it was personal pride or something," said Francine, "He just wanted to put Mysterio behind him."

"But apparently someone else doesn't," said Zira. The group turned to see Zira missing her head, Moonshock and Salamandra freaking out, while Taelina laughed her head off.

Zira reached up and pulled something, her head became visible again. "I found this light-bending mask," she said.

"Oh, so that's how he did that 'nothing under the helmet' trick," said Spider-Man.

Chloe nodded weakly as Taelina said stubbornly, "Boo...I know people really make heads vanish."

"Well, anyways, we need to figure out what is missing and who took it," said Spider-Man. He went over to the SHIELD troopers on guard and said, "Hey guys, did you see anything?" The SHIELD troopers froze before turning around and pointing their guns at Spider-Man.

"Erm." said Chloe, before the troopers aimed at them too.

"Uh, is something wrong?" asked Spider-Man, "Please tell me you're not synthezoids or rogue agents."

"The master does not want snoops," said one of the troopers in an emotionless tone.

"Did synthezoids talk like that?" asked Chris, "I'm not quite sure."

The two guards' guns began to charge. "Er...I think they want to kill us," said Taelina calmly, summoning a daedric dagger.

"Well, we can't have that," said Moonshock casually before sending lightning bolts at the guards' guns.

The troopers tried to fire anyway, their guns exploding and knocking them back.

"Ok, let's see what's going on," said Spider-Man before pulling off one of the guard's helmet.

The guards eyes were pure white, Taelina looking over his shoulder. "I don't know this world very well but I assume that's not normal," she said.

"I know that spaced-out look," said Spider-Man before snapping his fingers.

The agent blinked, his eyes going back to normal, before groaning "My head..." before his eyes focussed on Spider-Man...and on the wolf with sharp teeth and demonic eyes grinning behind Spider-Man before he passed out again.

"This has to be the work of Mesmero," said Spider-Man.

"Uh...who?" asked NegaMorph.

"He's a Mutant with hypnotizing and mind-manipulation powers," said Spider-Man, "The first time I fought him, he made me switch bodies with Wolverine. The second I fought him, he made switch bodies with the Hulk. The third time-"

"Wait, wait, don't tell me," said Morph, "He made you switch bodies with...let me see...Nick Fury?"

"Actually, he tried to use the city's cell phone signals to control everyone," said Spider-Man, "But thanks for that disturbing image."

"The one time we need someone immune to mind control and he's hibernating," grumbled Moonshock.

"And he has my dad's gear," said Francine, "Looks like most of his big illusion-making gadgets."

"Oh great...we are so screwed," said Moonshock gloomily.

Taelina said, "Oh please. I'm a daedric lord's daughter. It'll take more than some psychic to get me. You don't need your brother. It'd take a true idiot to go after him anyway."

Moonshock and Salamandra exchanged glances at that. "You know, perhaps we should find Mesmero before he gives Matt a rude awakening," said Salamandra.

Taelina began chuckling, muttering, "Or just afterwards."


Matt seemed to definitely be channelling his dragon instincts, all the mattresses, pillows and quilts in the barracks put into a large mound in the center of the room, what sounded like a revving truck heard from within but was actually just Matt snoring.

There was a puff of smoke as a figure appeared in the room. There was some coughing as the figure waved the smoke away, revealing Mesmero. "This teleportation device is going to take more figuring out," said Mesmero.

He'd heard about Lazard in prisons. If he could get him under his control, SHIELD wouldn't have a chance. He looked down to see a small robotic spider, which squeaked "I wouuuldn't" before scuttling way into the dark.

"Now let's see. Where is that big brute?" asked Mesmero, looking around.

A wisp of smoke came out of the mound in the middle of the room, a sensor turning on the lights at that. There was a mumble from the mound before the snoring continued.

"I thought dragons slept on gold," muttered Mesmero, "No matter, a half-awake state will make him more susceptible to my control."

He walked closer before pausing as one of the dragon's eyes slowly opened, looking at him before the dragon said in a low voice, "I must still be dreaming...I told everyone I'd eat the next person to wake me up." before a reptilian tongue slipped out and licked his teeth before the eye closed again.

"Hmm...on second thought, there may be some truth in that old expression 'let sleeping dragons lie'," said Mesmero.

He turned and began backing up, not wanting to risk the device's hum waking the sleeping drake. A clink caused him to turn back and stare in horror. One of those robot spiders was on the dragon's head, a tiny mech arm holding an airhorn next to the dragon's head. "Nah ah?" it said in a happy voice.

"No, no, no," said Mesmero quietly.

"Yes, yes, yes?" said the spiderbot cheerfully.

"No, no, no!" said Mesmero more frantically.

The spiderbot activated the airhorn at that, Mesmero covering his face, only to hear a pathetic wheeze, before peering, seeing the bot shaking the can before trying again.

"Phew, it's out of aerosol," said Mesmero.

He turned, smug before hearing a heavy sounding 'smack' noise, spinning to see the spiderbot had hit the dragon on the head with a mallet, the dragon starting to growl and stirring. The spiderbot paused before throwing the mallet into Mesmero's hands as the dragon stood up, its head having to lean down a little cause of the ceiling before it looked down, light from its eyes actually illuminating Mesmero before it bared its teeth and said "Breakfast in bed!"

Mesmero screamed before hastily trying to turn on his teleportation device. The dragon meanwhile had opened its mouth, a blue glow in it getting brighter "WORK YOU PIECE OF JUNK!" screamed Mesmero in a panic, vanishing just before the space he'd occupied was incinerated.

The dragon blinked before saying in an annoyed tone, "Next time, I won't waste time warming up."


"Pretty sure Mesmero isn't stupid enough to go poking a sleeping dragon," said Salamandra, "So what would be his next target?"

Taelina thought it over. "If I was him, I'd target the threats first. People who hunted him in the past...that's you, isn't it," she said, sighing and pointing at Spider-Man.

"Eh, probably," said Spider-Man, "He doesn't typically have much of an agenda than hypnotize masses and make them steal stuff for him."

"Yes but that was before he got super tech," said Moonshock scathingly.

"I think I'd call it a stretch to call this super-tech," said Silvana.

"Hey!" snapped Francine.

"I mean, this makes an impressive illusion, but it's not as impressive as Stark's robots," said Chris.

Their communicators buzzed at that. "Uh-oh, think he's taking out the competition. Fire at one of Tony's labs," said Chloe, reading the alert.

"Isn't that best left to the fire department?" asked Silvana.

Spider-Man said, "It's one of Stark's robot labs. He might be using it to steal more tech."

"I can suck up fire, Lana can shoot water," said Salamandra, "I think we can cover this."

Moonshock sighed as another alarm came in. "Oh look, a fire at the bunker. Man, that is clearly an illusion," she said, disabling that one.

"Like I said, Mesmero isn't stupid enough to try and bother a sleeping dragon," said Salamandra.

"Let's get to that lab." said Moonshock.

But Taelina voiced a thought, "Erm...what if its the other way round and the coffee shop's actually burning down cause he WAS that stupid?"

"In which case, I guess Lana should go back and check it," said Salamandra, "Who wants to go with her?"

Taelina shrugged. "I'll go with her," she said.

The others watched as Lana turned to dragoness form and flew off, carrying Taelina, before Moonshock said scathingly, "Nice one, Salamandra. Now we don't have someone to put the fire out."

"I told you, I can suck up fire," said Salamandra, "Besides, aren't you glad they're gone?"

"Not really, we're down two members cause of a possible illusion," said Moonshock icily.

"So? We've already got 9 members, assuming Francine wants to come with us," said Salamandra.

"If he has the technology, I'll be the only one who can shut it down," said Francine.

"There? You see? More than enough manpower," said Salamandra.

Silvana said nervously, "Maybe I should go after them?"

"Eh, if you want," said Salamandra dismissively.

Moonshock glared as Silvana took off, before she snapped, "Ok...what's your problem?"

"You think I like having that she-wolf and the water lizard around?" asked Salamandra, "After how close they got to taking Matt away from me?"

"But they didn't...and Silvana?" snapped Moonshock.

Salamandra shrugged, "She's taking all his time..."

Moonshock snapped, "Cause she's his student!"

"Like he hasn't taken a look at her overstuffed chest," snapped Salamandra.

"What are you talking about? You're not exactly flat and streamlined yourself," said Moonshock, poking her in the chest. Salamandra opened her mouth again before Moonshock hissed in her ear, "And Silvana in dragon years is barely a teen...think about that."

"I think she skipped a few years," said Salamandra bluntly.

"So I don't know how technorganic dragons age. I still think you're overreacting," snapped Moonstruck.

"What would you know? No one's tried to steal Chris from you," said Salamandra.

Moonshock's eye twitched before Zira jumped between them. "Hey, we're all friends here. Let's go put out that fire with TEAMWORK!" she said happily and eagerly, her ears going flat when it had little effect.

"Leave the annoying cheerfulness to Morph," said NegaMorph, "He's got better experience."

Zira hung her head at that, NegaMorph gulping. "Of course it can-SPARE MEEEE!" he screamed before Francine walked over to Zira.

"Hey there, don't listen to that jerk. His hat's clearly on too tight," Francine said.

Spider-Man leaned in and muttered to Chris, "Are you guys are up for this? You seem kinda outta sync."

Chris sighed, "I hope so but we're all you got. It's the cabin fever again. Zira's coping best." Francine giggling as Zira climbed up onto her shoulder, grinning.

"Ok, but when we find Mesmero, avoid looking at him," said Spider-Man.

"We know the trick," said Chris before he growled at Moonshock and Salamandra. "Break it up or go back to base," he snarled, his eyes glowing yellow.

Moonshock had...mixed emotions about that. Part of her wanted to remind Chris who was the alpha here, though another part found this assertiveness so appealing. Salamandra at least knew what Chris was intending.

"Fine...we can discuss it later," Salamandra snapped, before saying, "Are we dealing with this fire or not?"


Believe it or not, this is not the first time the coffee shop was on fire. Usually that happened when someone overloaded the cappuccino machine.

This one was a little more serious, blue flames licking out the roof. "Ok...3 septims say Mr. Lynch sneezed," said Taelina, her and Lana looking at the flames.

"If this is plasma-based, I don't think water can put it out so easily," said Lana, "Maybe Kala should have come back."

"Surely you noticed her jealousy. With me, it's understandable. I took him from her and took his love. He was quite the expert. You, you almost did the same. Even I can tell you still harbor feelings for him," said Taelina, smiling at a memory.

"He thought she was gone for good," said Lana.

"Not exactly. My home made him...more at home," said Taelina, before she said, "So when do we call the others and tell them this isn't fake?"

Lana said, "After we roast some marshmallows." The two fist bumped


Meanwhile, Silvana was trying to fly back to the coffee shop, but she was feeling lost. For some reason, things appeared to keep looping back around. "I was sure that I flew right of that building last time," said Silvana.

She turned again before snapping. "Ok...who's messing with me?" she snapped, landing on a roof. Her psychic ability allowed her to sense the presence of nearby minds, but she didn't sense anyone seeking her in particular.

"Show yourself before I make your heads explode," she roared, shifting to feral dragon mode, her vision flipping between modes as she tried to find the ones responsible.

Then her ultraviolet vision picked up distortions in the air. Small things, no bigger than a briefcase. She snarled before lunging at one of the shapes, her teeth biting down on something metal. Switching vision back to regular, she saw she was biting some sort of drone.

She chewed and swallowed the bit in her mouth. "Oooh...tasty..." before noticing some of the skyline changed to normal now the drone had been destroyed. "Ok...whoever did this is dead," she growled.

She started flying towards what she thought was the right direction only to have to suddenly backwing when she saw herself coming. "WHO DARES?" She roared, acting how she'd seen her father act when they'd been attacked by the fire flight long ago.

She turned another direction only to see herself again. Spinning around, she encountered two others boxing her in. "Stop it...stop it...STOP IT!" she screeched, clutching her head.

"Bewildering, isn't it?" asked a voice out of nowhere, "And this is only the simplest illusions I can produce now."

Silvana glared, her vision showing the words 'tracing' as she looked around, before sending a blast in all directions, blowing up more drones, only for the illusions to re-emerge over and over.

"But you must be so tired of looking at yourself," said the voice, "Allow me to show you something more soothing."

Silvana glared as the trace finished, Silvana glaring and smashing her way through one of her reflections, homing in on a half-built building it revealed, her vision seeing a figure. "I can see you," she snarled, landing and advancing on the shadowed figure, who turned to face her.

"Yes, you can," said the figure before his dome-shaped head lit up with a hypnotic light.

Silvana glared. "Is that supposed...to..." she began, her voice trailing off, her jaw dropping open as her eyes turned white.

"Perfect. This dragon will be even better than the other one," said the figure, "And this is just the beginning. I do hope Spider-Man is liking my little fire show."


The plant was an inferno when the gang arrived, Chris snapping "Where the hell is the NYFD?"

"We can't wait for them," said Spider-Man, "There may still be workers inside."

Moonshock, snapped at Salamandra, "Get with the draining, now!" following Spider-Man towards the doors.

"I'm...I'm trying," said Salamandra, "I...I can't find anything to drain."

Zira looked confused. "But...wait, that shouldn;t be possible," she said, before blinking, her eyes going red.

Normally, using thermal vision near a fire, particularly a big fire, was a bad idea. But there wasn't really anything hotter than normal around.

"Ok...this is weird..." muttered Zira, walking towards the fire and sticking her paw in it. Of course even if it was on fire it would barely burn her other then be uncomfortably hot...the beauty of the 700 series. "Guys, I think the fire's all fake," called Zira.

"Are you joking?" snapped Chris

"This fire isn't even warm. It's just air," said Zira, looking up and sending a vine up from the group.

"What are you doing?" asked NegaMorph.

"Getting the real firestarter," said Zira.

There was a brief explosion, the flames flickering before vanishing, showing several unconscious Stark Industries guards as a drone fell down and smashed.

Spider-Man went over to the drone and looked it over. "Yeah, this is a Stark Industries drone," he said, "I read about this model. It's designed for infiltration, including a state-of-the-art hologram projector."

"Upgraded with my dad's tech, no doubt," said Francine.

Chloe and Francine headed over to check the guards, the others looking at the drone as a small screen folded up.

"Hey guys..." started Morph.

Chloe turned at that, just as a face appeared on the screen and everything turned white.

"Well, Spider-Man, did you enjoy my preview?" asked a voice that grated on Spidey's nerves.

"You again? What's your plan this time?" said Spider-Man, looking around him to see the others, except for Zira, who was trying to shake people back to sense, and Francine who was covering her eyes.

Zira yelped as Moonshock's and Salamandra's eyes glowed, yellow and red energies coming from them before flowing into the opposite person.

"Well, first I want to see if this mind-switch can be done remotely," said Mesmero's voice, "And these two should make an amusing pairing."

Moonstruck and Salamandra opened their eyes before looking at each other and screaming.

"A resounding success. And that's only the beginning. Imagine how much I can influence my powers now that I can be everywhere at once," said Mesmero's voice. At that, several holographic copies of Mesmero appeared around them.

Zira snarled, several vines shattering the road and forming tooth filled maws at the end, shooting at the Mesmeros. Of course, being holograms, the vines didn't do anything.

"You see, the good Doctor Octopus has given me a chance to join his Sinister Six," said the Mesmeros, "A very exclusive club, you understand. And if I want to be among the elite, I need to step up my game." The Mesmeros disappeared one by one as they continued, "Robbing banks, playing mind games with heroes, brainwashing the masses. Not a bad start, but there's room for so much more improvement." Now there was only one hologram and the blue and gold of his costume shifted to green and purple. "It's time to cast off the old Mesmero and adopt an identity that shows my true mastery of perception." With, a fishbowl helmet appeared in his hands and he put it over his head. "Behold, the Great Mysterio!"

Francine snapped, "You're just a copycat stealing my dad's act. He was far better then you were."

"Better? If he was so great, then why did he give up his role?" asked 'Mysterio' mockingly, "It's time for someone more capable to don this suit."

"GIVE BACK MY DAD'S STUFF!" snapped Francine.

Zira peered around before she said something a little foolish, "Big whoop, you swapped two of our bodies."

"And for the rest, I have better roles for you to play," said 'Mysterio', "Minions, prepare for the attack scene on Spider-Man and Miss Beck. And...action!"

The others twitched at that, glaring at the trio. "Oh, we can take them. There are only-" started Zira before NegaMorph grabbed her by the ears, spun her around, and threw her out of sight.

Spider-Man and Francine watched Zira vanish out of site, Francine sure that somehow the small dot was growing as it fell before yelping as Moonshock slashed at her

"What are you guys doing?" snapped Francine.

"Oh, I just switched them around just to see their reaction," said Mysterio, "They're still quite under my control."

The white-eyed Salamandra lunged at Spider-Man at that.

"I hate it when this happens," said Spider-Man before webbing up Salamandra. It was a good thing Spider-Man had loaded his fire-retardant webs in preparation for the fire he thought he'd had to put out.

Salamandra hissed, trying to pull herself free before Chris and Moonshock charged him

Francine didn't have it easier. She didn't have any powers without her gear and NegaMorph was hot after her. "I knew I should have changed into my costume earlier," she said to herself.

NegaMorph hissed before everyone paused at a roar, that was getting closer. "What was that?" asked Francine before Kira landed...on NegaMorph, grabbing him by the neck.

"That...stung," she growled, NegaMorph gulping before tipping his hat to her, just before Kira started bashing him on various objects and the ground.

Then Morph waddled over to Francine. "Oh great. What is this one going to do?" asked Francine.

Morph stared blankly at her before asking, "Wanna hotdog?"

Mysterio looked surprised at that. "I ordered you to attack," he snapped.

"Why?" asked Morph.

"You're not supposed to ask why. Your will is mine to command." snapped Mysterio.

Morph asked, "Why?"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A MINDLESS SLAVE!" snapped Mysterio.

Kira paused a little in her pummeling and said dryly, "I think someone beat you to the 'mindless' part."

NegaMorph spat out a few fangs, gibbering, "Shall we dance?" Kira turned to glare at him, Nega managing "NO...nononononono." before the punching continued, even Mysterio wincing a little/

"Well, I guess it's time to bring in the extras," said Mysterio. The unconscious lab workers suddenly sat up, their eyes pale white.

"We need to go." said Spider-Man, webbing some of the guards.

Kira snarled, "I'm not done yet."

"Priorities," said Spider-Man, "We need to find Mesmero before he hypnotizes the rest of the city."

"Fine," Kira grumbled, glaring at NegaMorph. "We aren't done, blob boy," she snarled.

"Yes, I'll have bread with the soup," gibbered NegaMorph, his eyes spiralling.

Spider-Man was picking up Salamandra when Moonshock charged at him one more time. Acting reflexively, Spider-Man swung Salamandra at Moonshock. His timing was such that Salamandra's head hit the side of Moonshock's. There was a loud 'crack' and Moonshock fell stunned. "Uh, Kira, could you get that?" asked Spider-Man.

Kira sighed, grabbing Moonshock. "Where to?" she asked, knocking Chris flying as he charged her from behind.

"Back to the coffee shop," said Spider-Man, "We are definitely going to need the others now."

Kira nodded, leaping up and over the rooftops.

"What about me?" protested Francine.

"I got it," said Morph before turning into Draco, picking up Francine, and flying off.


Taelina and Lana watched the flames, though they were mostly dying down now. They'd managed to salvage some marshmallows from the shop. "Hmm...bet a fire spell could get it going again," said Taelina conversationally.

Then they both jumped as Kira landed in front of them, Moonshock in one hand and a mostly-pulped NegaMorph who complained, "I snapped out of it after she hit me with the ground the 3rd time. PLEASE HELP MEEE!"

Taelina and Lana exchanged glances. "So what about the fire at the robotics lab?" asked Lana.

"It was a hologram," grumbled Kira, dropping the unconscious Moonshock on the ground, NegaMorph yelping as she squeezed him like a stress toy. "That queesta, Mesmero's calling himself Mysterio now and he hypnotised most of us."

Spider-Man landed next to Kira and put down Salamandra. "Uh, where's Silvana?" he asked.

"Pardon? Oh she never got here. Oh, and the fire was real. I won the bet," said Taelina calmly.

"Mmph...fire?" asked Salamandra drowsily before she opened her eyes and looked at the smoldering coffee shop. Salamandra's eye twitched before she screamed, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SHOP!?"

"We didn't do anything." said Lana, munching abscently on a cooked marshmallow before offering one to Salamandra, "Marshmallow?"

Salamandra screamed, "WHAT ABOUT MY BROTHER?" before staring as a rumbling snore came from the rubble. "You have got to be kidding," she said in a dull voice

"Since when did she have a brother?" asked Lana.

Moonsthock opened her eyes at that, looking at the flames before screaming "BUSHI BU!" charging into the embers, Taelina counting before there was a roar and Moonshock was thrown back out, with a note on it saying 'I SAID NOT TO DISTURB ME!'

"Wait a minute. Why am I over there? Why can't I move? And why does my head hurt?" asked Salamandra.

"Erm...Ka-...Salamandra, are you ok?" asked Taelina carefully, only for Moonshock to gibber "Matt's still sleepy."

"Did they switch bodies?" asked Lana.

"You don't seem surprised," said Spider-Man.

"We have that on my planet," said Lana, "Mostly for people who need to walk in each other's shoes for a while."

"Can you fix it?" snarled Salamandra.

Lana yelped before saying, "Not really, we'd need one of our ships and it left."

"Well this is certainly entertaining," said Taelina, "It's a shame there isn't enough of a fire going for more hotdogs."

Salamandra glared at Taelina and snapped, "You want fire?!"

"I wouldn't," said Taelina smugly.

"BURN!" snapped Salamandra before breathing fire at her.

Taelina smirked as a puff of black smoke came out of Salamandra's throat. "Told you. The real one has practise. You don't."

"Yeah, and I bet I'm better with electricity," said Moonshock.

"Uh, I wouldn't try that," said NegaMorph.

Moonshock tried to send a blast before helping as her fur puffed up, taalena howling with laughter. "Oh, I love the old mind swap spell," she managed, wiping a tear away.

"You won't think it's so funny when Mysterio hypnotizes you," said Moonshock as she tried to smooth down her fur.

"Hey, he's not Mysterio!" snapped Francine as Morph landed with her, "That identity is the sole property of the Beck family. Only me or my dad can be Mysterio."

"I was only cursed with mortality. Not the mind of a mortal," said Taelina smugly.

"Yeah, sure. I mean, it's not like you've ever acted immaturely," said Salamandra sarcastically.

"Demigoddess, Miss Lynch, demigoddess," said Taelina smugly, leaving out the part that, as fellow royals, Chloe and Chris technically counted to that too, but if they were too lazy to keep their minds protected, well, no fur off her pelt.

"Yeah, not buying that," said NegaMorph, "That doesn't explain why Ms. Mean Green isn't mind-controlled."

"Me and Zira are a 700 series. Mind control was a 300 series trick," said Kira, before bringing her fist down on his head.

I'm a 700 series and yet now I'm stuck in an oversized dog suit," said Moonshock.

"You aren't a proper experiment anymore," said Kira.

"I've grown beyond my programming," said Moonshock, lifting up her snout in disdain.

"Uh, we're still missing on Silvana," said Spider-Man.

"Hmm...she'll turn up," said Lana in an offhand tone.

At that, Silvana landed in her robot dragon form, growling. "What took you?" asked Lana, "Were you taking the scenic route?"

"I was sent to aid with the fire..." said Silvana in a blank tone, the gang looking at each other.

"Was someone watching bad TV?" asked Morph.

"I was sent to aid with the fire," repeated Silvana.

Kira said, "Ok...is it me or is she more like her look's sake then usual?"

"Just whack her over the head and get it over with," said NegaMorph in a dull tone. Kira shrugged, lifting NegaMorph up. "NOT WITH MEEEEE!" screamed Negamorph.

Kira swung NegaMorph like a hammer on Silvana's head. However, considering NegaMorph made of plasma-based gel and Silvana was a metal dragon, it didn't have much of an impact besides splattering NegaMorph over the dragoness. Kira finally gave up, Silvana repeating herself.

"Well, she's going to need a good washing anyways," said Lana before hosing Silvana with a huge blast of water.

Silvana opened her mouth, making a bubbling noise which was assumably about the fire. "Wait...if she's not attacking...she's-" began Spider-Man.

Just then, a few energy blasts nearly hit the gang as Nova flew down. "Nova, why am I not surprised?" asked Spider-Man dryly.

Salamandra tried a fireball before yelping as the fireball was a little too big, the fireball missing Nova and blowing a jumbotron to tiny bits.

"Not so easy, is it?" asked Moonshock smugly.

"You try to hit them then," snapped Salamandra.

"No problem," said Moonshock as she started charging up. Then she heard a chittering noise. Looking around, she saw a surprisingly large amount of squirrels, all looking at her with blank white eyes. "Oh no," she muttered before they mobbed her, the blast shooting up, bouncing off a lamp post and vanishing into the shop ruins.

"You...cannot...resist..." said Silvana as panels opened in her forehead, revealing a third optic that started glowing as energy built up in it. The group winced, gripping their head, Silvana grinning coldly and upping the power before a car hit her and flattened her against a wall. Silvana weakly said, "Ow.".

A voice roared "I SAID NO WAKE UP CALLS!" everyone turning as a large reptilian foreleg tore its way out the ground, Matt, larger than usual in his dragon form and with bloodshot eyes, tearing his way out the ground.

"Oh no, you woke up Mr. Cranky," said Morph.

"Who...woke...me...UUUUUUUUP?" roared Matt, tyrannosaurus style, rattling the windows.

"Ok, we need to get our hypnotized friends away from the raging dragon," said Spider-Man, "Kira, can you find Squirrel Girl?"

"What makes you think she's-" started Kira before several squirrels leaped at her and tried to bite her. "Never mind, she should be around here somewhere," said Kira.

Matt turned to glare at Spider-Man. "You, tiny person, who woke me up? I need a target," he said, one of his eyes spiralling in a rather disturbing fashion.

"Er..." said Spider-Man uncertainly.

"Don't worry, I can put him back to sleep," said Morph before shifting into Drowsy.

Matt, his non-spinning eye twitching, turned slowly to look at Morph. "Ooooh...luuuunch." he muttered, giggling. Morph opened his mouth to use Drowsy's sleep-inducing bleat, but Matt's mouth was quicker. The others winced as Matt, with half-closed eyes chewed, before going bug eyes and spitting Morph out of sight. "Bleh...musta been steroid fed," he muttered.

"Can we hurry this up?" snapped Taelina, "These squirrels are getting everywhere."

Matt turned to snarl, before the car Silvana was under was pushed aside, Silvana saying dizzily, "Ok...take two..." before readying her emitter.

"Don't expect me to hit her again," said NegaMorph, disgruntled.

Silvana looked up at Matt, before smirking, aiming her emitter at him. Matt noticed Silvana's third eye and snapped, "STOP STARING AT ME!" before bringing his dragon paw down on her head.

Silvana yelped, before her emitter began to glow brightly. "Oh nuts," she muttered before it exploded.

The psychic shockwave knocked everyone backwards, quite a few of them getting headaches from the feedback.

Silvana was first up, "Ow...my smegging head."

Matt got up before looking down, "Fantastic...better than mind control."

"What just happened?" asked Spider-Man.

"I, Silvana, just got control of the most powerful dragon on this planet. I can't wait to see Lord Mysterio's reaction," she said, one of her eyes slowly going bloodshot before she said, "That little jerk who keeps me AWAKE, I'LL RIP HIM TO BITS! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME SLEEEEEP?!" she roared before her eye twitched and she fell sideways, starting to snore happily.

NegaMorph looked up, "Wow...she cracked fast."

"I thought Silvana was more stable than that," said Lana.

"Perhaps, but Matt's body is still sleep-deprived and physically fatigued," said Moonshock before turning and saying, "So that would mean..." The optics of Silvana's body lit up, before starting to scream over and over. "Yup, found him."

Nova glaring before swooping at her. Silvana's screaming head swiveled towards Nova before a laser beam shot out of her mouth. "Thisisnothappening!" Silvana's body screamed.

"Well, I'm not happening in your girlfriend's body either," snapped Salamandra before glancing at the sleeping Matt. She shuddered and said, "Oh man, that feels so wrong."

Silvana stomped over and snapped "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?" before looking at the squirrels before roared at them.

The squirrels squeaked with fear before running away. "Wait a minute, rewind a bit. You said you were in my girlfriend's body? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KALA?!" snapped Silvana.

"I'm over here." called Moonshock, Silvana looking at her before starting to chuckle insanely, her eyes flickering blue for a second.

"Yep, that's Matt in that chassis alright," said NegaMorph.

"I...why am I in Silvana?" snapped Silvana before snapping "WHAT THE HELLS GOING ON?!"

"Well to make a long story short," said Spider-Man.


(One brief exposition later...)

"So now Mesmero is out there somewhere with an army of drones equipped with hard-light hologram projectors that can he use his hypnotic powers through," said Spider-Man.

"And he caused this?" said Silvana, making her head rotate 360 degrees.

"Uh...maybe? I think Silvana's psychic powers are more to blame here," said Salamandra.

"And Silvana was mind whammied by who?" said Silvana, one of her eyes flickering to blue again.

"Mesmero," said Moonshock, "Which is still surprising. I thought she'd have a stronger mind."

"And would anyone care if I ate him?" said Silvana in a cold tone.

"Only if you want to be stuck as a technorganic adolescent," said Kira pointedly.

Silvana muttered "Aw snap." clicking her claws.

"Out of curiosity, can you transform?" asked NegaMorph.

Silvana said, "She's not a Cybertronian so the usual sound effect won't work..." before blinking and twitching as she shifted to anthro form.

"Ok, but what about her human form?" asked NegaMorph.

"Uh...no. I don't think so," said Silvana, "This is awkward enough as it is."

"Ok...so how do we find him? It's not like he'll advertise his location," said Salamandra.

"Well, not intentionally," said Francine, "But I bet he hasn't checked to see if my dad's gear had trackers."

"He had trackers on his stuff?" said Moonshock in a level tone

"How did you think I found his helmet before?" asked Francine.

"And you couldn't have mentioned this before?" asked Spider-Man.

"Well, first there were the hypnotized guards, then that lab fire," said Francine.

"I get it...priorities," said Silvana before glaring at Matt, "How the hell are we gonna wake up my body?"

NegaMorph poked Matt's body a few times before saying, "Just leave it here. I don't think Silvana will be much good in it until it's fully recharged."

"She'll be out for days. I was hallucinating that some wierd green guy came into my room," said Silvana.

The others gave each other awkward looks before Spider-Man said, "Anyways, we probably should find Mesmero."

Just then, Morph waddled back. "Hey guys," said Morph, "The buildings are all talking."

"Say what?" said Silvana.

Morph pointed at the taller buildings in the distance, all of them covered with a projection of Mysterio. "Oh, that's not good," said Salamandra.

"You guys wanna get closer and take a better look?" asked Morph.

"NO!" snapped everyone.

Matt's body snarled, "Quieeeet."

"Let's take this somewhere else," said Silvana quietly.


Across the surface of nearly every building in Manhattan, the image of Mysterio was being projected by hundreds of drones. "Citizens of New York," said Mysterio, "You are about to see the greatest spectacle of your lives. It'll also be the only spectacle you'll see from now on. For you see, reality is only what you perceive to be. And now, I, the Great Mysterio, control all perception."

The public watched before their eyes turned white, staring blankly. "All you hear is my voice, all you see is my image. My commands are your every thought. Now I am the master of New York City," said Mysterio.

"You are our masteeeer..." intoned the public.

"Well, that was easy enough," said Mysterio lightly, "Now I just need a challenge."

He decided to try and see where Nova and Squirrel Girl were, only to see them coming back, minus that robotic dragoness. "Let's see how many more heroes I can catch in my net," said Mysterio. Pretty soon, televisions all across the city were broadcasting his hypnotic signal.


Silvana sent a blast into another jumbotron. "I can see why you do this all the time, Spidey. This is amazingly theraputic," she said cheerfully, blasting another jumbotron.

"I never said I did it intentionally," said Spider-Man.

"I won't judge. I'm not in a very good position to do that," said Silvana.

Salamandra meanwhile was looking at a few filtered transmissions on her wristcomp. "Hmm...guys...anyone notice something that Mysterio has in common?" she asked.

"Poor fashion sense?" asked Moonshock dryly.

"Hey, I didn't ask for the professional wrestler look!" snapped Salamandra.

"All I know is that the clothes replicator is able to make better costumes to cover this XXXL butt," said Moonshock.

"Hey! My butt is only XXL!" snapped Salamandra.

"Yeah, and I'm a size 4," said Lana sarcastically.

"Aren't you?" asked Salamandra.

Lana paused and said, "I'm honestly not sure."

Silvana sighed, "Spider-Man...do you notice anything weird about the channel? I woulda thought he'd use more then one."

Francine looked at a handheld tracker before saying "I think I got him."

"He's broadcasting from the Daily Bugle," said NegaMorph flatly.

"Well, objectively, it makes sense," said Spider-Man, "I mean, he'd want the most media coverage to make sure he hypnotizes everyone."

"And presumingly he brainwashed Silvana to pick up the rest...urgh, I sound like a wierdo who speaks in the third person," muttered Silvana darkly.

"You're not the one who's in her brother's girlfriend," said Salamandra in annoyance.

"You know, I just realized something. Where's Chris?" asked Silvana.

A snarl was heard at that, Silvana saying, "Oh, so that's who I could sense." before Chris tackled her. "Don't worry about me," called Silvana, "This mutt's probably too hypnotized to remember he can't bite through metal."

Salamandra snapped, "CHRIS ANDERSON! YOU SNAP OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW OR YOU'RE IN THE DOG HOUSE!"

However, Chris didn't even pause in his attack. "I don't think it has quite the same impact for him with my voice," said Moonshock.

Chris paused at that, Salamandra snapping, "I'm gonna hate myself in the morning but calm him down."

"You know there's no rush," said Moonshock, "Like Matt said, Chris can't get through Silvana's metal hide."

Silvana glared, her eyes glowing purple before she snapped, "IT STILL STINGS!"

"I thought you had a thicker hide than that," said Moonshock.

"He's leaving dents. JUST DO IT!" snapped Silvana.

"Well, if he's busy with Silvana, that leaves us free to stop Mysterio," said Moonshock.

"You do realize that Chris isn't the only puppet in Mysterio's collection, right?" asked NegaMorph.

"Like who else?" asked Moonshock.

Several red shards of a glasslike material landed at her feet at that before exploding. "Ow," she rasped, falling backwards, the others looking up to see the Avenger, Falcon swooping towards them.

"Oh, he better have not gotten the big hitter Avengers," said Spider-Man.

Kira grinned at that. "Oh...I've wanted a shot at the Hulk," she said cackling before noticing the looks, even the brainwashed members giving her a 'seriously?' look. "Oh please, like you haven't imagined that battle," she snapped, crossing her arms.

"Hey look, Nova's back," said Morph, pointing up.

Silvana finally grabbed Chris before bashing him into the ground before looking up and receiving a blast to the face. "Ok, that was not funny before. It certainly isn't funny now!" snapped Silvana.

Nova hovered in place before aiming a second blast at Moonshock. "Hey!" snapped Silvana before shooting a laser beam from her mouth, but it missed Nova. At least it got his attention back on her.

Salamandra was staring down Falcon. "I have the highest respect for Avengers. So please when you wake up, this wasn't personal," she said, trying to ready a fireball.

"This is not a good time for practicing borrowed powers," said Taelina.

"It's a basic fireball. I'm pretty sure I can handle that," said Salamandra.

Falcon's white eyes narrowed before he swooped at her, Salamandra yelping and tossing her fireball. The fireball managed to hit one of Falcon's wings, shattering it and sending him into a spin dive.

Spider-Man quickly shot some webs between the buildings to catch him before webbing him up. "Sorry, Falcon. You'll thank me later," he said, before Nova strafed them again. "Ok, Nova, you're starting to be more annoying than usual," said Spider-Man.

"Please hurry, I think my body wants to shoot him," sapped Silvana, covering her eyes to block the targeting reticule trying to lock on.

"That's kinda normal," said Spider-Man before sending a web-blast into Nova's face, blinding him.

"No, I mean it wants to kill him!" yelped Silvana.

"I got it," said NegaMorph before shooting a few fangs into Nova's butt.

"NegaMorph!" snapped Silvana, taking her hand from her eyes and turning to glare at Nega, only to yelp as twin laser beams popped the unlucky experiment, "Oopsie."

"I'm pretty sure Silvana doesn't normally have those," said Salamandra.

"She usually has her own mind in this body," said Silvana with concern.

However, Nova was quickly losing altitude as NegaMorph's fangs were working as effective tranquilizer darts.

Silvana sighed, spreading her wings and taking off to grab Nova, before, a little pettily, dropping him in a garbage can.

"Ok, has Dog Boy been taken care of?" asked Francine.

"That is not his name," said Salamandra in annoyance.

"Then what is it?" asked Francine.

"Er..." said Salamandra with uncertainty.

Morph waddled into sight. "Don't worry. I dealt with Chris," he said cheerfully.

"Oh good," said Salamandra with a sigh before pausing, "Wait a minute...where did you put him?"

"Close by, but he'll need a wash," said Morph cheerfully, everyone turning to where Nova had been...


The brainwashed Nova rubbed his head as the tranqs wore off. "Urgh...that blob got lucky. Master Mysterio'll fry me if I don't get one of them. Maybe that wolf's a good target?" before hearing a cold voice said "You mean my girlfriend?"

Nova lit his hand up to see Chris, the color in his blackened eyes showing he was freed. "Shh...don't run...just let it happen," Chris said with a evil grin, fist at the ready before leaning in and blowing the light out.


As the dumpster shook, Silvana said, "Ok, I think we should just leave them there. That just leaves Squirrel Girl."

"Oh, NegaMorph just grabbed her," said Morph.

"Well, he should AAAAAAHHHHH!" That scream was the reaction Silvana had when she looked at NegaMorph and saw a very large squirrel tail sticking out of his mouth.

Lana turned green, sea green to be exact, managing "I think I'm gonna barf." as Silvana snapped "SPIT HER OUT NOW!"

NegaMorph slowly regurgitated a slimy and shivering Squirrel Girl. "What do you have to say for yourself?!" snapped Silvana.

"I think I'm gonna be spitting squirrel hairs for a week," said NegaMorph.

Spider-Man ran up to Squirrel Girl, shaking her. "Hey...hey, you ok?" he asked, noticing her eye color was back.

"Spider-Man...was I in Lockjaw's mouth again?" asked Squirrel Girl.

"Not exactly," said Spider-Man carefully, before the dumpster opened and Nova, his helmet jammed over his head, was tossed out, Chris getting out shortly afterwards.

"Is that yours?" he said in a growl, pointing at Nova.

Salamandra flew down next to him and said, "Oh, Chris, did that mean hypnotist hurt you?" She gave him a kiss on the cheek out of comfort.

Chris paused. "Erm...Kala?" he said in a mix of concern and pure fear, "Are you trying to get Matt to kill me cause of that April Fool joke?"

"I'm Kala," said Moonshock.

Chris looked between them. "Erm...er..." he said, his voice shaking.

Spider-Man said, "Mesmero did a switcheroo on their bodies."

"I have very mixed feelings about this," said Chris.

"Yeah...and if you value your life you'll forget this incident when this ends," said Silvana in a tone Chris recognized.

"Erm...boss?" he said before his brain decided it couldn't handle this and hit the snooze button, Chris keeling over.

There was a pop as Nova got his helmet off, his eyes back to normal. "Ok, whose butt do I need to kick for this?" asked Nova.

Silvana glared at that. "Nova, I'm not in the mood. My body's been hijacked. I still haven't had any sleep even if this body doesn't need it. Said body seems to be decked out with enough firepower to flatten the east coast. And a lunatic's cast mass hypnosis on the city. DON'T PUSH ME!" she snapped, advancing till she was snout to nose with Nova, one of her eyes flickering.

"Is it always this crazy with you guys?" asked Francine.

"For me, this kinda thing happens about once a month," said Spider-Man.

"For us, it happens every other day," said Kira flatly.

Nova looked at Silvana. "Lazard? That you?" he said, grinning till Kira glared at him.

"Not the time, Lord Buckethead or do you want it as a tighter fit?"

Silvana smiled right up till Kira said, "There'll be plenty of time for ridicule after we save the city."

"Oh, how I've missed the experiments' emotional support," she said in annoyance.


Once everyone had gotten their wits together, however few they may be, they started heading for the Daily Bugle building. "Ok, the Daily Bugle should be here...somewhere..." said Spider-Man as he swung around the corner before pausing.

"Really? It's a giant ego building," said Silvana, trotting round the corner before staring. "Erm." looking to see a lamp post go by chasing a dog. "Erm...what?" he said in confusion.

And that was about the most normal thing. There were buildings that appeared to be floating in the air, not all of them facing the right way. And it looked like someone had added a live-size mini-golf course of several US landmarks. Not to mention the hundreds of eyeballs everywhere. "Oh man, I knew I shouldn't have had Mexican last night," said NegaMorph.

Morph peered round the corner before saying, "Looks fine to me. Ooh, mini-golf."

"This is all just a hologram, right?" asked Moonshock, feeling her eyes watering from trying to visually process the chaos.

"I think so...I really hope so..." moaned Chris, feeling a bit ill.

"So...which building is the Daily Bugle?" asked Lana.

"I don't know...Silvana's GPS just self-deleted," moaned Silvana weakly.

"Well, if it's not real, we can walk right through it," said Morph. He walked up to a chicken coop but flattened himself on its side.

"Morph, we don't have time for your pantomime shenanigans!" snapped Salamandra. But as she was walking by a tree, a branch reached out and swatted the back of her head.

"Ow...what the smeg? I think it's real," she yelped, jumping aside a literal Indiana Jones style boulder rolled by where she had been.

"Looks like he's using his hard-light projectors here," said Francine, "Everything is going to feel real here."

"And deadly." said Spider-Man.

"So? We just take out the drones and get that loser," said Nova cheerfully.

"Yeah, good luck finding them," said Moonshock sarcastically.

"Well, he may be able to put things here that aren't really there," said Francine, "But he can't take away things that are actually there."

Kira said, "What do you mean by that?" before walking into something, a badly-bent car flickering into existence.

"Ok, so we need to be careful where we-" started Nova before yelping and grabbing his groin as a park meter flickered into existence in front of him.

Silvana said in an annoyed tone, "Ok...this is gonna finish us off without minions." before saying "Oh lord, we need to hurry. What if he got the rest of the Avengers?"

"Uh, is this the door for the Daily Bugle?" asked Taelina, opening a door in front of her. Inside, she saw a raging inferno, with demons waving pitchforks and cackling evilly. "No, looks like the Deadlands," said Taelina casually, closing the door.

"Look, let's just spread out and try to find the Daily Bugle," said Spider-Man, "It has to be around here somewhere."

"Urgh...this is a horror film situation. We never split up," snapped Silvana.

"What do we do then? Leave breadcrumbs?" asked Squirrel Girl.

Moonshock snapped, "If we don't split up, we'll never find that blowhard's building so...honey? For once, don't treat everything by film rules." She smiled at Silvana who twitched.

"Please...don't do that again till we're in the right bodies again," said Silvana in a weak voice.

"I second that idea," said Chris.

"Ok...so who's in what team?" said Kira.

"Francine, you stick with me," said Spider-Man, "I don't want you getting lost."

"I'll take Kira and my gir...Moonshock," said Silvana before looking at Nova "...and Lord Buckethead if necessary."

"Just a moment," said Salamandra, "I don't want my body wandering off without me." She reached out her tail and grabbed Chris, "And you're sticking with me."

"Er, yes...dear?" said Chris uncertainly.

"Do I get a say in this?" asked Moonshock.

"I suppose you don't want this vulnerable slip of a body out of your sight either," said Salamandra.

Moonshock growled, adding, "You can't even control yourself."

"Uh...I guess we'll get the Morphs and Squirrel Girl," said Spider-Man, "That leaves Taelina and Lana."

Lana said, "I'll go with Ma...Sil...the metal dragon. This is making my head hurt."

"I'm almost sorry to miss the show," chuckled Taelina. She turned to Spider-Man, "I suppose I'm with you."

"Ok, everyone try to stay close. Looking away from someone for more than a few seconds could be an easy way to lose them here," said Spider-Man.

Silvana nodded, her back to them. "Agreed. This is pure chaos. The slightest-" she began, turning back to just see Morph, dressed as a golfer. "Oh blitznak," muttered Silvana.

"Forty-two!" yelled Morph before hitting a golf ball.

Silvana yelped before she was knocked over by a golf ball to the face.


"This place reminds me of the Shivering Isles that time Sheogorath got a cold," groaned Taelina.

"Do I want to know how many planes of Oblivion you've been to?" asked NegaMorph.

"Do we want to know what the planes of Oblivion are?" asked Squirrel Girl.

"Demon dimensions, there are about 16 bigger demons that each have their own little slice of hell," said NegaMorph.

"And Sheogorath's like a Scottish version of that Deadpool person who's sometimes on the television," said Taelina, adding, "Only with the ability to warp space and time and a cheese obsession." The group looked around, half-expecting the place they were into turning to Swiss cheese.

"This Bugle is where the lying human with the mustache lives, yes?" said Taelina, checking around a corner.

"Where he works," said Spider-Man, "If I knew where he'd lived, I'd-"

"Break into his home, pillage all the valuable loot, and leave his bloody corpse as a warning to those who dare to besmirch you?" asked Taelina.

NegaMorph sighed, reaching out and slapping the back of Taelina's head. "Noooo..." he said warningly.

Morph aimed a squirt bottle and sprayed water in Taelina's face. "Bad doggy," said Morph. Taelina turned to snarl.

"Hey, let's not turn on each other," said Spider-Man.

Taelina nodded, before looking both ways and punting Morph over the horizon. "Ooops," she said innocently to NegaMorph.

"Ah, he's been lost in more 'irretrievable' ways and he still comes back," said NegaMorph.

Francine looked at her tracker. "Ok...I think it's behind the winged Avengers Tower," she said finally.

Spider-Man closed his eyes a moment and said, "Yeah, I think it's safe enough that way."

"How would you know?" asked Taelina.

"Mesmero may be able to fool my eyes and ears, but he can't fool my spider-sense," said Spider-Man.

"And I vote we be really quiet going past Avengers Tower in case it's real. I have no wish to fight the Hulk after fighting Kira," said NegaMorph.

"You think the Hulk could really be under Mesmero's control?" asked Squirrel Girl.

"He probably would have taken over Hulk before if I hadn't interfered," said Spider-Man.

"Let's move fast," said Squirrel Girl in terror.


Meanwhile, the other team was searching from the air. It was a bit unnerving to not know if they could see something that didn't appear to be there. And all of them were quite stable.

"Er, Chloe, you mind flying a little straighter?" asked Chris nervously.

"Oh, you can't be that out of practice with flying," said Moonshock derisively.

"I haven't had wings for months," snapped Salamanadra, wobbling in the air a little.

"Gave them up too quickly," muttered Moonshock.

"Least I waited for the right man," said Salamandra darkly, her fire element's side making her say that out loud.

"Girls, we're trying to find Mesmero, as in the guy who could put your tiny brains back where they belong," said Lana. Making working wings out of water and ice was a little too tricky for Lana, but turning herself into vapor made her light enough to fly.

"Oh please," sneered Moonshock.

"I wouldn't mess with us," said Salamandra, "One blast from either of us and you'll need to find your oxygen and hydrogen molecules that were scattered across the sky."

"Mostly from me," said Moonshock, "Chloe's mostly hot air now."

"When are you guys going to stop fighting with each other?" asked Chris.

"When pigs fly," said Moonshock haughtily.

Chris sighed. "We can't fight villains if we're at each other's throats," he snarled, pointing at Salamandra, "What would your brother say if he was here and could see you and Moonshock acting like...brats?"

Salamandra paused before saying, "Where IS she anyways?"


Meanwhile, Silvana was trying to keep her mind straight. No, Matt was trying to keep his mind straight. He tried not to think about how he was in a dragoness's body. Let alone one that was practically part-Cybertronian and-

"Oh not again!" snapped Silvana as she shifted from anthro to feral form and back. "Stupid piece of junk. Where's the user manual?" she snapped angrily.

"You think you're overthinking it?" asked Nova.

"There is such a thing as underthinking," snarked Silvana, "This body can eat metal and spit lasers. If I lose control of it, it'll eat the city."

"Silvana never seemed to have control problems," said Nova.

"Well, duh. It's her body," said Silvana, "I'm just borrowing it. That helmet isn't exactly human tech either. You telling me that you got it right the first time?" She pointed a claw that morphed into a clawed finger as she switched again.

"Hey, I went through a lot to get this helmet and keep it," said Nova.

"Yeah, well you don't like it. Everyone else's problems seem like spitballs to you, don't they? I read your file. You actually gave Peter's suit to Flash Thompson. You encouraged them team into a suicide mission that almost blew up the Helicarrier. You've undermined Spider-Man more than a few. If you'd been on my crew I'd have thrown you off for insubordination," she snarled, snout to nose with Nova, her eyes glowing red.

"Do you know how many times I've saved the Earth and it didn't even know?" asked Nova.

"Boo smegging hoo. Join the club. I've saved more than a few planets myself but that doesn't give me the right to be a jerk to my teammates!" roared Silvana.

"Uh Matt," started Nova.

"And I don't care on how many pan-galactic missions you've been on. You've still screwed up more than-" started Silvana when something white and squishy collided with her face.

Silvana's muffled voice snarled at first, slowly turning into manic laughter as Morph said cheerfully, "Yay, I found you. And she's so happy too."

"You were supposed to stay with Spidey's team," said Nova.

"Yeah, but Taelina wanted to pillage JJJ's house and I told her she was a bad girl, so she kicked me out," said Morph.

"Hehehehehe...I've...hehehe...had...ahaha...ENOUGH!" she screamed, pulling Morph off. "This night has been a nightmare. I just wanted a lie-in and now I'm trapped in a robot by someone who has a bigger ego then NegaMorph!" she screamed, glaring at everyone. "Now I'm trapped in a DRUG TRIP with Lord Ego of Buckethead and the amazing brainless blob," she snapped, her eyes going solid red.

"And don't forget the flying piggies," said Morph.

"I need to hurrrrrt somethiiiiing," snarled Silvana, definitely in feral form now, her back spines longer and sharper, a few small blasters folding out from her shoulders.

Then they heard something buzzing. They looked around to see a squadron of biplanes flying at them, each one with a pig face, its snout being the propeller. The biplanes were also being flown by pigs in old pilot uniforms.

"Oh look, stress relief," said Morph innocently, Silvana lunging at the planes.

"Matt, wait, we can't get sidetracked," called Salamandra.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH. NO RESPECT! A DUFUS SUPERHERO NAME! MY ALTERNATE TURNED INTO A BIRD!" she roared, smashing a few planes at a time with each rant.

"Matt, hold on a minute!" yelled Salamandra before one of the pig planes winged her.

"Stupid...toy...plane...hallucinations!" screamed Silvana, grabbing two planes and smashing them together in a fury.

"You need a vacation," said Morph. In response, one plane was thrown at Morph

Silvana snatched up another plane in her mouth. It was a little surprising when she found herself munching on pigeon. But that was fine with her, she could use a little more protean.

"Right...let's re-" she began, turning back to see she was alone. "-group," she finished weakly.

Then she felt a gurgle in her belly. Didn't Silvana once mention that she couldn't eat organic food easily? "Oh no," she muttered, her cheeks bulging, the words 'purging' appearing in her vision.


"I can't believe you lost Matt!" snapped Moonshock as she was hanging from Salamandra.

"Well you made me lose Chris," snapped Salamandra.

"Me? You're the one who got hit by that pig plane," snapped Moonshock.

"We all got hit by planes," said Morph, said plane still in his head.

"Well great, how are we supposed to find the Daily Bugle now?" snapped Moonshock.

"Perhaps it would be easier if I wasn't carrying dead weight," snapped Salamandra.

"Are you calling your body fat?" said Moonshock evilly.

"Heh, walked into that one," said Morph.

Salamandra glared. "Maybe you should get lost?" she snapped, her head twitching.

"Are you overheating?" asked Morph.

"I can find the Bugle JUST FINE!" snapped Salamandra, dropping Moonshock on Morph

"DON'T DROP ME!" yelled Moonshock, grabbing Morph who stretched like taffy. Morph yelped as he stretched out, Moonshock clawing her way back up till she was on top. "I'll kill her...where'd she go?" she snapped.

"Don't worry, I tied myself to her leg," said Morph, "And now I'm gonna do the same to you to make sure we're not separated."

Moonshock nodded. "Good thinking...wait...oh nuts," she said

"And now for the slingshot," said Morph.

"The what?" asked Moonshock before Morph's elasticity snapped the two of them forward towards Salamandra. Salamandra had just enough time to turn around before they slammed into her. The three of them then ended up colliding with something big, invisible, and pretty hard.

"Hey, I think we found the Bugle," said Morph.

"That's nice...I think my spine is dust," rasped Salamandra.

"Are we near a window?" asked Moonshock, "Never mind, I'll just make one."

"Wait, you're not as-" began Salamandra in a panic.

"Hey, I got your gamma strength, don't I?" asked Moonshock.

"Yeah but you need to be angry to...hmmm..." said Salamandra before saying, "Heh...least I'm in shape."

"You know, I could make a better hole with the right bludgeon," said Moonshock, grabbing Salamandra by the neck.

"It worked," rasped Salamandra as Moonshock shifted to her gamma form. "Wait, wait, you're about to smash your own face!" yelped Salamandra. She stopped an inch from the glass, Moonshock thinking before grinning and headbutting the glass.

The glass broke pretty easily at that. "Huh, that wasn't so hard," said Moonshock, not noticing the shard of broken glass lodged between her eyes.

"Erm...you ok?" asked Morph.

Moonshock said, "Me am good."

"Oh, don't do that to me," said Salamandra before grabbing at the shard.

"Oooooh...pretty lizaaard..." said Moonshock before Salamandra pulled it out

"I am so going to slow-roast Mesmero for this migraine," said Salamandra.


Meanwhile, Spider-Man and Francine had also found the Bugle, but lost Squirrel Girl, NegaMorph, and Taelina on the way. "I swear I only looked away for a second," said Francine.

"A second is all it can take," said Spider-Man.

"It says he's on the top floor...I think," said Francine, whacking the side of the tracker.

"Yeah, that would make sense," said Spider-Man, "I just hope we can get up there before he notices us."

Just then, a holographic image of Mysterio appeared in front of them. "Oh, I've been waiting for you, Spider-Man," said Mysterio, "I'm so glad you managed to find the center of my funhouse."

"Give me back my dad's stuff, you jerk," snapped Francine.

"That gear was just going to waste," said Mysterio, "I am using it to its full potential."

"It's my family's!" snapped Francine, adding, "You're barely worthy of your own name, let alone my family's."

"Is that so?" asked Mysterio, his tone turning dark, "Well, this gear won't be any good for you after you've lost your mind." The sky began to cloud over at that, a dull rumble heard. "I was playing around before, but now you're about to experience your worst nightmare," said Mysterio before he disappeared.

"That's...not good," said Francine nervously, "Is it?"

"Well, in my experience, no. But at least he's not using magic," said Spider-Man.

"Let's...just get to him and stop him before he gets ideas," said Francine nervously. Just then, a deep crack opened in the floor, flames leaping out of it.

"He's getting ideas." said Spider-man, grabbing Francine and swinging into the Bugle's lobby, which seemed normal compared to the outside.

"Huh, maybe he doesn't have any drones indoors," said Spider-Man.

On cue, several mind-controlled security staff ran into view. "There they are, the ones Lord Mysterio wants," snapped one of them.

"Ok, this may be a little tougher," said Spider-Man, "But nothing that can't be outrun."

Two of the guards ran at Spider-Man at that, being stuck to the wall with webbing for their troubles. "Don't worry, I've done mob control more times than I can count," said Spider-Man.

More guards ran in at that, even a few members of staff too, brandishing anything from cups to office chairs. "Yeah, let's not waste time here," said Spider-Man.

He grabbed Francine, swinging up over the crowd and into an open elevator, Francine slamming the top button as fast as she could, even as the door shut. "It's all safe from here, right?" asked Francine.

"I don't know. The last time I was in the Daily Bugle, the Beetle was trying to eliminate everyone between him and JJJ," said Spider-Man.

"Gee...Jameson getting another guy chasing him," said Francine scathingly.

"Can you believe that only happened once?" asked Spider-Man.

"Not really," said Francine

"I almost wish he was here so I can see him as Mesmero's puppet," said Spider-Man, "Almost."

"Yeah...at least we know where he is; overseeing that new European station's opening," said Francine, "His ego came in useful. He was on about it all week."

The door opened to a rather unimpressive sight. It wasn't that the walls were plastered in pictures of Mysterio. It was mostly that Salamandra and Moonshock were already there, trying to either strangle each other or pull the other's hair out. Morph was standing by the elevator. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, do you know how long I've been waiting?" asked Morph.

Francine, starting to guess the Morph playbook, asked "Ok...how long?"

Morph said cheerfully, "About a minute, but it was really boring."

"And how long have they been going at it?" asked Spider-Man, gesturing at Moonshock and Salamandra.

"10 minutes before we arrived," said Morph.

"Why do they hate each other so much?" asked Francine.

"Oh, I don't think they really hate each other," said Morph, "It's a family thing, living with in-laws, measuring each other out."

The two fighters paused to look. "The hell are you on about?" said Moonshock.

"Well don't you girls really care for each other?" asked Morph.

Moonshock pointed at Salamandra, "Of course not. She's a hypocrite. Won't let me be her brother's girlfriend while she goes out with his second-in-command."

"And she can't be trusted to be with him because she and my brother break up all the time," snapped Salamandra.

"Cause of the stress of pretending we...because!" snapped Moonshock, looking at Francine for a second.

"Hey, I don't know what your business is, but it's not mine. And I think the mental stability of New York is more important than your petty catfighting," said Francine.

"By the way, where is Matt?" asked Salamandra, a distant explosion seen even visible through the mayhem below before a half-eaten drone came through the window and embedded itself in the wall, someone having scratched "All chaos and no sanity make Matt go NUTS!" written over and over on the remaining casing.

"Speaking of mental stability..." said Moonshock dryly.

"We need to do something before he goes kaiju on New York," Salamandra said in agreement.


Decided the time for subtlety was over, the group barged into the next room. What should have been JJJ's office now looked like a very elaborate throne room, with Mysterio seated on the throne. "Ah, Spider-Man, I was wondering when you would get here," said Mysterio.

Moonshock snarled, "You're DEAD!" lunging at him.

However, a bubble of hard light appeared around her before she could get there. One appeared around Salamandra as well. "You know, when I switched you around, I found your constant bickering rather amusing. But now it's become tedious. So I think I'll just put both of your minds in a psychic blender and hit 'puree'," said Mysterio before his helmet started glowing.

Morph said, "I really wouldn't do that. I mean you could, but Matt would make it his life's mission to make sure they never find a trace of you."

"Who?" asked Mysterio.

"The big blue dragon with a megaton level temper," said Morph, Mysterio pausing. "But then you switched for the smaller metal dragon who turns out to have a built-in arsenal," add Morph.

This time everyone was sure there was a high-pitched whine from under the helmet, Morph saying cheerfully, "And just what his sane side will do. If his other side wakes up...wooow..."

Mysterio paused at that and said, "Now I know you're bluffing. Anyways, it'll rid the world of their ceaseless badgering."

Morph looked at Spider-Man, "Does what I said count as ample warning?"

Moonshock yelled, "Just do something, you braindead marshmallow before he-"

Then the bubbles that the two of them were in started crackling with what appeared to be electricity and both Moonshock and Salamandra screamed as they clutched their heads.


A mile (probably) away, Silvana paused in mauling a drone before looking up. "Urge to kill, rising...I wonder why," she giggled, her eye twitching as she grinned and went back to the work at claw.


"You do realize I'm not just going to stand here and let you do this," said Spider-Man.

"By all means, come and get me," said Mysterio, gesturing to Spider-Man.

Spider-Man leapt at Mysterio, only for the entire room to vanish around him, leaving him in a greenish void. Mesmero's voice seemed to float out of everywhere, "You know, believe it or not, this is a childhood dream come true."

"Really? You always wanted to pull mind tricks on superheroes?" asked Spider-Man.

Mesmero ignored this jab and said, "In my youth, I dreamed of being a world-famous magician. Everyone in the world would have been amazed by the Great Mesmero. But then my mutant genes became active."

Spider-Man paused. "And then suddenly all your friends were scared of you, or kept away, or treated you like a monster," he said carefully.

Moonshock and Salamandra's voices, speaking a little in unison, snapped, "STOP PSYCHOANALYZING THE VILLAIN!"

"Actually, I found that mind-controlling the feeble-minded crowds is far more rewarding, both emotionally and financially. And I have grown quite tired of you constantly getting in the way," said Mesmero's voice.

Morph said, "Oh, you're just a jerk then."

"At least I admit it, not like some other cretins," said Mesmero's voice, "Now, Spider-Man, have you wondered why you haven't fallen under my spell yet?"

"I have a bit. I assumed you wanted to gloat," said Spider-Man.

"Part of it was that. But what I really wanted was you right in front of me, where my powers are at their greatest," said Mesmero's voice, "And now, I'm going to peel apart your mind like an onion and fry it."

Spider-Man gripped his head at that, sharp pain running through it before he heard Francine yell "Spider-Man, on your left!"

Spider-Man punched out to his left, feeling something quite solid and a big 'oof' from Mesmero.

"That's it! He's behind you!" called Francine.

Spider-Man swung around and punched out again. The greenish void disappeared, revealing Mysterio. "No fair!" snapped Mysterio, "You're getting help from a cheater."

"I don't need to cheat," said Spider-Man before twisting his mask around so his eyeholes were on the back, "I just needed to get my bearings."

"What's that supposed to do?" laughed Mysterio before getting several more punches, staggering him back.

"Something I learned from Daredevil," said Spider-Man, "Your eyes can't play tricks on you if you don't use them. But my spider-sense works just fine."

Mysterio glared, aiming a punch at Spider-Man, only for the hero to dodge. "By the way, the real Mysterio knew that behind the smoke and mirrors, he was still human. That's why he kept in shape when I got through them to him," said Spider-Man as he kicked at Mysterio, "You don't have any fallbacks for when someone gets close enough to hit, do you?"

"You little pest! I'm not letting you take this away from me!" snapped Mysterio before a punch knocked the dome off, revealing Mesmero underneath.

Francine easily caught the helmet and put it on her own head. "Like I said, Mysterio is a family name," she said, "And now it's my name."

Mesmero turned to see the world outside turning back to normal, Stark drones appearing in the air. "No...no...I was so close," he whimpered.

Then there were two thuds as Moonshock and Salamandra were released from their hard-light bubbles. Salamandra said weakly, "I feel weird." before pausing, looking down at herself. "I'm back to normal! WOO HOO!"

"As close to normal as you get," said Moonshock.

"Still closer than you," said Salamandra. Though there didn't seem to be as much malice in their tone.

The malice however came right back as they both turned to look at Mesmero, Moonshock's eyes glowing yellow and Salamandra's eyes catching fire. "Now then...any good magician is open to feedback," Moonshock said, tearing a length of piping out the wall as a club.

"St-stay back!" stammered Mesmero before turning to run for it. But then Morph stuck out his foot to trip him up. Well, perhaps that was his intention, but Mesmero tripped over Morph himself.

"May we?" asked Salamandra politely to Spider-Man.

"Not too roughly," said Spider-Man as he twisted his mask back in place, "SHIELD has rules about police brutality."

"He's gonna fall down some stairs," said Moonshock cheerfully, before she and Salamandra ran after the retreating mutant.

"So is everyone back to normal?" asked Spider-Man.

"I think so," said Francine, "But I'm not sure where everyone is."


Silvana blinked as she suddenly found herself in Times Square, a drone in her mouth. How the hell had she ended up here? Oh well, she was peckish.


In the wreckage of the coffee shop, Matt opened his eyes before yawning happily and going back to sleep.


Taelina blinked as she found herself at the door of the Sanctum Sanctorum. How had she gotten all the way over here? And she should feel guilty about the axe that was in the door?

The door opened as she reached for the axe before she peered in, a wave of magic setting off all of Taelina's alarm bells. Shit...she'd pissed off the local Archmage. "Erm...if you give me time to find some wood, I can repair the door," she called in carefully before something yanked her in, the suddenly pristine door shutting.


"How the heck did I wind up in here?" asked NegaMorph, looking around the bathroom he was in. Did he use his shadow portal powers subconsciously or something?

NegaMorph tried the door to find it locked, some sort of roomba cleaning the styles. "Right...a short range jump and I'm gone." vanishing into the shadows and emerging into a brightly lit room, rows upon rows of tiny, carefully made crystal figurines on all of them.

NegaMorph walked over, picking one up "Man...what kinda sissy's room have I emerged in?" NegaMorph chuckled, the night's excitement having made him a little uncharitable in his thinking and also sadly not notice the door into the room opening. What he did notice was the value his tek pak placed on the piece in his hand.

"Still, could be worth something to someone. Not sure who I could sell this too," said NegaMorph.

He turned to leave only to see a wall of green, before he slowly looked up. He saw the Hulk's face glaring down at him. "Oh, Hulk, hello again. What are you doing here?" asked NegaMorph.

"Put...the figurine...back," said Hulk in a low voice.

NegaMorph slowly put the figurine back where he found it. "So...how's Betty?" asked NegaMorph nervously.

"Leave..." said Hulk darkly.

"Er...which way is the door out?" asked NegaMorph. He whimpered as Hulk reached for him.


"I'm sure they're fine..." said Spider-Man before he and Francine jumped at a 'squelch', turning to see NegaMorph plastered over a window.

"Special note...don't...touch...Hulk's...figurines." rasped NegaMorph, sliding down the glass with a dull squeak and out of sight.

"Well, I better start checking on the others, tell them that Mesmero is dealt with," said Spider-Man.

"Uh, Spider-Man, there's something I want to talk about," said Francine as she took off her helmet, "Mesmero was wrong about a lot, but he was kinda right about my dad's gear being wasted in storage. I was thinking, maybe I should be using it for hero stuff. Is SHIELD Academy still accepting students?"

Spider-Man paused. "Well...it might be a bit late to start now but there's always next semester. I'll definitely recommend you," he said.

"Thanks," said Francine, "If I'm going to continue my dad's legacy, I want it to be a good one."

"I think you'll make a great new Mysterio," said Spider-Man.

"Mysteria," said Francine as she put her helmet back on, "I might as well make the name suit me more."


It was 12 hours later...

Chloe and Kala had taken the time to watch the news, Matt having been convinced to go back into the bunker. It wasn't like the repair drones could do much. Just in case, they'd sedated him with the strongest tranquillizer in the medical bay.

"I'm not sure which is better: JJJ sweating over his building being used by a supervillain or these reruns of Mesmero being taken away," said Chloe gleefully.

"By the way, does Mesmero particularly remind you of anyone?" asked Kala.

"What do you mean?" asked Chloe.

Then a clip of Mesmero being taken by the police appeared again. "Curse you, Spider-Man!" yelled Mesmero, "You haven't seen the last of me!"

"I do see a small resemblance," said Chloe thoughtfully.

Then Silvana walked in and asked, "How are you two doing?"

"Just fine," said Kala and Chloe at the same time.

Silvana paused and asked, "Are you two still synchronized?"

"A little," the two said.

Silvana grumbled before burping out a piece of drone. "Urgh...Matt overfed me," she grumbled.

"So, about your-" started both Chloe and Kala before they paused and shared an uncomfortable look.

Chloe took the lead, "So, about those, er, features Matt found while he was, er, borrowing your body..."

"He ate 89 drones," grumbled Silvana.

"I was referring to how you could shoot lasers," said Chloe.

"Lasers?" said Silvana in confusion.

"And what was with that third eye?" asked Kala.

"Third eye?" said Silvana before twitching as her body told her about her new weaponry.

"You ok?" asked Kala with concern.

"Why does my body have...phasic atomizers?" said Silvana carefully.

"What are those?" asked Kala.

"I'm not even sure," said Chloe, "You know, you don't have to use them. I'm pretty sure you can lock those extra armaments."

"I don't even know how they UNLOCKED!" screamed Silvana, a shoulder hatch opening and a pink pulse shooting out and hitting Morph, who blinked, said "Oooh...my brain tingles." before melting into a giggling puddle.

"They do that," Silvana said weakly

"Maybe we should have Matt help you lock those features," said Chloe.

"After he's had his long nap," said Kala.

"It has been rather peaceful lately, hasn't it?" asked Chloe.

"I agree," said Kala.

Chris walked in, a few bandages on him. He'd spent the night being chased by White Tiger and Power Man after being separated, though the two had profusely apologised afterwards. "Finally...you two are getting along," he sighed with relief.

"Kinda hard to stay mad at someone you've had your mind melded with," said Chloe.

"Hopefully the residual effects will wear off," said Kala.

"Yeah, I hope Matt wakes up soon...or at least lets me in the room with him," said Kala.

Chloe's smile froze in place before she said, "Change the subject or think of something else, please."

"Well, I'm going to get some lunch now. Anyone want anything at the deli?" asked Kala, getting up.

Chloe paused. "You're not going to the deli. You're going to raid the coconut cake vault while the door's broken," she said, Kala yelping and making a run for it

"So...Chloe, what would say later tonight..." started Chris.

Kala stuck her head round the corner, "No, if I can't do it, she can't either. At least not till this wears off."

Chloe sighed and said, "Well, at least it's still mostly peaceful around here."

"Probably because Taelina isn't stuck in here," said Silvana, "I wonder where she is." Chloe and Chris exchanged shrugs.


"You break one door in a berserker fury and you pay and pay and pay..." muttered Taelina, mopping a large room, "It's not even like the bloody door's broken anymore. And I swear this bloody room's getting bigger."

"You'll never get out of here with that temper," said Doctor Strange's disembodied voice.

"Oh, kiss my tail!" snapped Taelina, before the walls extended out again.


Here's another chapter covering the last part of this short arc. I've been wanting to have Mesmero using Mysterio's identiy for a while and both 'The Moon Knight Before Christmas' and 'Far From Home' gave me a lot to work with. Personally, I think Dwight Shultz would be an excellent Mysterio as he can do particularly hammy villains. I included a shout-out to one of his more iconic villain roles towards the end.

The next chapters will hopefully be soon, but I'm not completely sure. Keep an eye out for them and please review.