A/N- Hello all! Sorry, posting's going to be (and has been) a bit sporadic over the last few days because of a combination of internet issues and family visiting me over here. By Wednesday all should be normal again, though I will try to post tomorrow too. In the meantime, enjoy this extra long (dirty!) chapter as my apology (oh, shit, now you'll think the chapter's dirty. Guess I'll have to make that one up to you later ;) And I have the mind of a 14 year old boy...).

Please keep reading and reviewing, I appreciate all feedback, positive or negative, as long as it's constructive, which everything really has been, so thanks for that. I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its characters or concepts but I did get a number of DVDs today including The Breakfast Club so I might do a nice little movie night myself in the traditional Gilmore style to christen my house after all the company leaves!


Chapter 95

"Rory?"

"I miss him," she admitted, turning around in bed to face her mother on the bed next to her. "And it's only been three days. How can he not feel like this?"

"He does," Lorelai assured her, "You know that. You remember what it was like the first time he went to Stars Hollow without you."

"But if he's completely fine with me just moving across to New York, or Chicago, or wherever he thinks the kind of job is that I deserve…" she bit her lip, "Maybe it was just a phase."

"Rory…"

"A phase. Like newlyweds. We were happy, because of all the anticipation, all the excitement, and so everything was in some perfect unrealistic state. But now maybe it's wearing off for him and he doesn't want to be around me all the time anymore."

"Hon, you know that's not true," Lorelai said softly, stroking Rory's hair as she heard the tremble in her daughter's voice, "Jess is absolutely crazy about you. He just…he wants you to have everything."

"But I don't want everything. I want him."

"I know," Lorelai nodded, "And that's okay. You have the right to want whatever it is you want. But just…try to look at it from his eyes. Here you are, this gorgeous, perfect angel of a creature…" Rory rolled her eyes, "Hey, I'm your mom, so you get my bias. As I was saying, drop of perfection from the heavens, eyes like the oceans and so smart, so funny, so witty, and completely capable of anything. You could take the world by storm. I know it, he knows it, Luke knows it…all of us know it. And as much as he cares about you, maybe he just feels like he's holding you back from that. From being everything you could be."

"But that's not…"

"Let me tell you a story. Remember that disastrous double date we went on?" Rory nodded. "Well, I was talking to Luke about his attitude and he said he didn't think the guy deserved to be with you. And I asked if not him, then who? Was Jess good enough? Who was good enough? And his answer was no one, a prince, maybe. Now, you know I like Jess. And how completely nuts it is that I can admit that without vomiting. But Luke, and me, and it seems like Jess too…we all think the world of you. Nothing's good enough for you. And no one. If you ask me, Jess is just about the closest anyone could come. And I think Luke would agree. But Jess…I would think he has a hard time seeing himself for that. To him, he's still the guy that screwed you over in high school and fucked up a lot and wasn't a great guy, for a long time. And he thinks you deserve…better. Even if it's impossible. So cut the guy some slack. I'm not saying he's right. He's not. But just…he cares about you, Rory, and it's making him act a little stupid. Love can do that."

"We haven't…"

"You know, though."

"Yeah, I do," Rory nodded. "So what do I do?"

"Right now?" Lorelai grinned. "You hang out with the woman who gave you life and blood and rot your teeth quickly while Jess slowly comes to his senses. You gotta give him space, kid. You guys will work it out, I promise. And he'll be back soon, I'm sure he's already miserable without you."

"Fuck this!" Jess exclaimed, immediately pulling his hand off of the scalding pan, "Just…screw it. All of it, I'm done."

"Jess…" Luke looked at his nephew in concern.

"What, you don't let your employees heal their injuries now? Maybe I should join a union," he snarled. Luke looked at him sharply and he sighed. "Sorry. I'm going to go run my hand under some cold water, I'll be right back." Shaking his head, he walked up the stairs. A few minutes later Luke appeared in the main room.

"Jess…"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" he said, his voice breaking slightly, "It's just…not my day."

"Here's a thought," Luke proposed, "Why don't we let Cesar handle the afternoon lull for a few and take a break?"

"You? Take a break?" Jess scoffed, "To what end?"

"To the end of you being less of an ass," Luke replied. Jess smirked.

"Well, with sweet talk like that…"

"So can I ask what put you in such a charming mood today?" Luke asked a few minutes later, when they were up in the apartment, "I mean, I know that Taylor was in this morning and being Taylor, but then again, that's nothing new."

"You know what it is," he looked at Luke, annoyed.

"You miss her."

"No shit. But I have to get past it," he answered, trying to sound resolute, "It's for the…"

"No, it's not, Jess," Luke cut him off, his voice firm, "You need to get it through your goddamned skull that you're what's best for her. And if you can't make yourself believe that, at least have enough faith in her to think she knows what's best for her."

"It's not that I don't…"

"Think about it, Jess. That's what you're saying."

"That's not what I mean…"

"Well I know you're better with words, but just…think about your actions here. And think about who we're discussing. This isn't the same confused, lost Rory that you were having to help and protect and give guidance to the last few months. This is Rory when she knows what she wants. You have to trust her."

"I do," Jess said simply, "I always have."

"Well, now that she's made up her mind, you have to just…follow it. It's called blind faith. You love her. You have to trust her judgment and let her make that choice for herself."

"She hasn't…"

"But she does."

"She hasn't…"

"Jess."

"Yeah, she does."

"Tell me something. How does it feel to be gone right now?"

"I want to throw heavy objects at everything. Whereas usually I only want to throw heavy objects when people like TJ are around."

"Well, as much as I empathize with the latter part," Luke nodded, rolling his eyes, "Stop being a damn martyr. You love her, she loves you, you want to be together, and I'd be willing to bet she's miserable without you here."

"Did Lorelai…"

"No. This is your deal, both of you. We aren't gonna pass notes or any of that crap," Luke cut him off, "But you know her, and I know her, and that's the truth of it. You guys are so crazy about each other that you don't want to spend a day apart. So don't get scared just because she's making a real, significant choice that will actually ensure that you don't have to. It's a good thing, Jess."

"But what if it wears off?" he asked, "What if it's just…temporary? Feeling like this? What if it stops and then she regrets making that choice?"

"Is it gonna wear off for you?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"How could I…"

"Jess, you'll fight, you'll piss each other off, and there'll be days when your apartment will seem too small, no matter where you're living," Luke explained, "But let me tell you this, I've had one really great love of my life, and there isn't a single night I want to go by without her there. And I knew it from the moment I first woke up with her next to me. Even now, I still hate it when she's gone. Or when I leave. And I do it, because it's life, and sometimes you have to. But there's nothing wrong with the fact that you feel that way, and that Rory feels that way. That's what great love is. And sometimes, almost always, it's worth sacrificing for."

"But she shouldn't have to…"

"Yeah, she should. I know you'd rather be doing the sacrificing, Jess, but you'll both have to, in your own time, and your own ways. Is it worth it to you?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

"And it's worth it to her?"

"It seems so."

"Then consider yourself the luckiest damn bastard on Earth and spend the rest of your life proving to her that you're worthy of that choice."

Jess sat in silence. After a few moments he looked up at Luke.

"If I end up half the guy to her that you are to Lorelai, I'll be good," he said softly, "Thanks, Luke."

"Anytime," he nodded, "Now let me go tell Cesar…"

"Tell him he's in charge tomorrow."

"He'll be so thrilled."

"Just hide the specials board and you'll be fine."