A/N: Short but sweet. Thanks for the incredible reviews, both from old fans and new converts. Seriously, they inspire me to keep writing this story. And yes, I plan to keep writing this story. Because of division of church and state I'm not going to go into graphic details, but medical and life stuff has made it difficult to write steadily the last few months, but things are getting better now so I'm going to try to be more reliable. I make no promises or guarantees, but your reviews and just the fact that you guys get pleasure from reading what I write makes me happier than most things in my life, so there's some pretty strong internal motivation. Anyway, I do not own Gilmore Girls or any of its characters or concepts, but I do own about 8 different books on the various ways of writers. Which are as inspiring as they are strange and terrifying and magical. I also now possess (temporarily!) a kitten! Named Artemis! Life is really funny sometimes.


Chapter 116

"Rory! We're back! Mind helping us bring some of this stuff in from the car?" Jess called out as he walked into the apartment. He gave her a meaningful look.

"Weren't you guys just going to get lobster rolls? It's been hours…"

"Yes, well, Doyle realized that there were baby errands that needed to be done, and he might as well take advantage of the extra manual labor," Jess grumbled, shooting an annoyed look behind him to where Doyle was struggling with a large box, "So we made a few stops. Help? Please?"

"Of course," she smiled apologetically, following him out to the car, "Paris, do not even think about editing the dates on those charts while I'm gone. I don't care how determined you are, you can't go back to work two weeks after giving birth. It's just not going to happen."

"I thought you didn't know anything about babies or pregnancy or birth," Paris retorted, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes, but I know plenty about crazy, which makes me perfectly qualified for this situation," Rory responded without even looking at her, "I'll be back." She followed Jess back outside.

"So how much payback should I expect?"

"Well, you had to deal with Paris. And her unborn spawn. That seems like a pretty even slate, if I'm being honest."

"Yeah, especially since she's absolutely insistent on being just as insane with this process as she is with every other facet of her life. Not only is it totally unrealistic and irrational but it's also just stupid. She's being so nearsighted about it."

"To be fair though, you did say you have absolutely no interest in children."

"Okay, first of all, I didn't say that. They just…freak me out. A little bit. It's totally manageable."

"Uh-huh. Your mom told me about when Sookie went into labor. Sounds well-managed. And your half sister…apparently you decided to play secretary?"

"I was younger then!" Rory replied indignantly, "Anyway, just because I'm not particularly…fond of a subject doesn't mean I'm not knowledgable about it. I actually know a lot about this whole realm. I'm just not ridiculously interested in pursuing it at the given moment for myself. That doesn't prevent me from being able to see that Paris' brain needs to be reprogrammed."

"Yeah, but I can see that, and I have the parenting knowledge of someone raised by Liz," Jess rolled his eyes, "So she's really that off?"

"Essentially, she's trying to plan every single detail so that having a child will have zero impact on her life."

"That makes no sense."

"That's Paris."

"Well, at least you didn't have to deal with Mr. 'I'm so excited to be a dad but terrified about being a father! Tell me about your childhood.' all day," Jess sighed heavily as he handed a box to Rory. He picked one up himself and they headed back inside.

"So what did you…"

"I did the monosyllabic thing. Figured it was better than being a dick."

"And that's what we call personal growth."

"Or survivalism. I know you'd kill me if I couldn't manage to be in the same room as him."

"I wouldn't kill you! I'd just…force you to be unhappy once in a while."

"I thought that this arrangement was a benevolent dictatorship."

"Only when you cooperate fully."

"See, now it's starting to sound like North Korea."

"Only since we involved Paris."

"Fair point."

"Are you two lovebirds almost done?" Paris huffed as Rory and Jess entered the living room, "I need Rory's brain for this scheduling dilemma."

"What now, Paris?" Rory sighed, walking over to the computer and leaning over her friend's shoulder.

"There's a medical conference in New Hampshire that I've been asked to speak at next year, and it's eleven days after my delivery. That shouldn't be a problem, obviously, but what exactly to do with the child at that time…"

"Paris! You can't leave that soon after having a baby! Especially to do stressful work things. Plus, she'll be a total newborn. She should be close to you."

"Is there a reason you've decided on gendering my child?"

"Because calling her it seems wildly impersonal. I'll call her him later."

"Creating gender confusion before it's even born. New level of socialization conditioning…"

"Paris. Even you have to know that's a ridiculously terrible idea. You cannot speak at this thing. It's not even local!"

"New Hampshire's only a few hours away."

"So what, you're going to drive that with the newborn and keep her attached to your breast during the speech?"

"Breastfeeding isn't even on our agenda yet! At #18, we've got six more topics to handle before…"

"Paris. You're being ridiculous. No, you absolutely cannot speak at that conference in New Hampshire."

"But what if…"

"Or attend it. Period." Rory rolled her eyes. "Jess? Please tell me you have lobster rolls?"

"And thank god I got eight."

"You're a saint."

"Just observant."

"I'll take five."

"I figured you for six."

"Starting off slow."