Last time on Total Drama Panzer:
India – home of exotic spices, man-eating tigers, and teenage anglerfish dancers.
Here the commanders tried to show off their wicked dance moves, only to prove they had none. At least Jajka made an impression with the local wildlife. Then these little fishes were off to the market for the spicy scavenger hunt. Despite hitting a snag with the language barrier, the Punchys pulled off an impressive ictory when El and Anchoy unlocked their ultra food instincts.
Meanwhile, Bosporus was spending the entire day being mopey and a general pain in the Bokos' butt. It came as no surprise to anyone that her teammates kicked her off after Bo carelessly grabbed the wrong spice, costing the Bokos the win. But even after losing her chance at the million, Bosporus managed to find her own happy ending. Aw, that's nice.
We are reaching the end of the first quarter of our journey and it's only going to get more intense from here. So stay tuned for more TOTAL – DRAMA – PANZER!
Darjeeling dragged her feet across the deck of the S.S. Total Drama, holding her stomach with a grimace. She should've known better than to eat so much spicy food during yesterday's Indian feast. It wasn't very lady-like the way she gorged herself on ten plates of curry and collapsed on the floor in a food coma, Anzio's cooking was so good, she could stop herself. It had seemed worth it at the time, but her stomach disagreed.
Darjeeling leaned against the portside railing, trying to fight back the urge to vomit. Then someone came around to her side and offered a glass of bubbling water and a couple of pills. She glanced up at the knowing smile of Marina, who pushed the items onto Darjeeling.
"Seltzer water and antacids," Marina answered the unanswered question. "Should help with your stomach pains."
"You have my gratitude," said Darjeeling gratefully, accepting both. She swallowed the pills and downed the water in a handful of gulps, sighing in relief. "I needed that."
"I knew you would," said Marina, leaning her back against the railing. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her deck of tarot cards, shuffling them. "The cards were very insistent that I should help you today."
"Right…," said Darjeeling doubtfully. She didn't place much faith in something as abstract as fortune telling. "Well, you certainly saved me from a terrible stomach pain. So, thank you."
"I was simply following the whims of fate," said Marina pleasantly. She drew a card from the top of her deck and turned to the proper lady with a playful grin and wiggling her brow. "Ooh, the lovers upright. You're about to have a pleasant encounter with your true love."
"That sounds delightful, though highly unlikely," Darjeeling denied, though her face was flushed. "I presently have no romantic feelings for any individual in particular, let alone anyone aboard this ship. I'm afraid your readings are – "
"Hello, my darling!"
Darjeeling let out an undignified high-pitched when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her midsection and lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle. Her reaction was to thrust her elbow back, which connected hard and forced whoever was holding her to reel back in pain while also dropping Darjeeling on her butt. St. Gloriana's commander stood up, brushing herself off, and glared at the offending party.
Kay laughed while pinching her nose, trying to stem the flow of blood.
"Nice hit, my darling," Kay complimented, wincing. "Really nailed me good. Ow…."
"It's your own fault for sneaking up like that," Darjeeling scolded her. "You're just lucky it's only a bloody nose."
"I think we have different definitions of lucky," Kay groaned.
"Honestly," Darjeeling sighed exasperatedly, shaking her head. She retrieved a handkerchief from her pocket and forcefully pressed it against Kay's nostrils, ignoring her whining. "Hold still, you big blonde baby. And tilt your head back."
"Baby, huh?" said Kay teasingly. "Is that my pet name – OW! OW! OW! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" she quickly apologized when Darjeeling pressed harder against her nose.
"You are incorrigible," said Darjeeling.
"Love you too, darling," said Kay playfully.
Darjeeling felt her face heat up and pushed the handkerchief harder against Kay's nose, threatening to break it if the Saunders commander continued to act up. Out of her peripherals, Darjeeling noticed that Marina was giving her a smug grin while casually shuffling her deck. Darjeeling's face flare up again and pointed looked away.
CONFESSIONALS
Darjeeling: I would hardly consider giving Kay a bloody nose a "pleasant encounter." And true love? Not likely. Kay is just…a friend. A very…very affectionate friend. That's all!
BZZT
Kay: (Tissue paper lodged in her nostrils) My darling is so cute when she acts all shy. And she has a strong elbow. That's some love tap. Ouch.
BZZT
Marina: (Shuffling her deck) I'm used to people dismissing my readings. And, I admit, their results in Sensha-do are…iffy. But when it comes to relationships, I always hit my mark.
"There you are!" The group of three rounded to the hallway entrance where Katyusha and Erika (the former sitting on the latter's shoulders) were standing impatiently. "How dare you keep Katyusha waiting! Katyusha should send you to the gulag for thirty years!"
"She means locking you in a windowless room for half-an-hour," said Nonna, suddenly popping her head out of the nearby porthole.
"Don't correct Katyusha," Katyusha yelled at her right hand, who disappeared back inside.
"Come along; we're having a strategy meeting now," said Erika calmly.
"Okay-dokey," said Kay with a cheerful two-fingered salute. She turned back to Darjeeling and said, "Duty calls, my darling. But I'll see you later. Maybe over dinner?"
"We all eat dinner in the same place," Darjeeling remarked.
"Boo, you're no fun!" Kay pouted.
Katyusha yelled for Kay again and the Saunders' knew it was time to leave before the midget headbutted her again. Kay waved good bye to Darjeeling as she ran off to join her teammates. St. Gloriana's commander sighed, but waved back nonetheless. She watched Kay, Erika, and Katyusha talking animatedly among themselves (or in Katyusha's case, screaming), humming thoughtfully after they disappeared inside.
"I've that Kay has been spending a lot of time with Itsumi and Katyusha lately," said Darjeeling. "Not that there's anything wrong with it; they are on the same team after all. It just that they aren't the kind of people I imagine Kay would regularly socialize with."
Marine drew another card and said aloud, "The justice reversed. It means dishonesty, deceit. It seems that Kay is hiding a terrible secret from everyone."
"Now I know your fortunes are inaccurate," Darjeeling dismissed. "Kay is too honest. She doesn't have a deceitful bone in her body."
CONFESSIONALS
Marina: The cards don't lie. Kay its hiding something from everyone. The most likely possibility is that she's formed an alliance with Pravda and Kuromoremine's commanders. Whether that is good or bad remains unclear. However… (draws another cards) they are not the only union we should be concerned with.
On the opposite side of the deck Jajka, Mika, and Nishi were seated at Cutlass's tiki bar. While Nishi downed her fourth glass of mango juice (and somehow to get pseudo-drunk) and Nishi was stealing glasses and hiding it under her hat (which Cutless reprimanded her with multiple slaps to the face), Jajka watched while nursing her kompot. She hummed thoughtfully after witnessing the interaction between Kay and Darjeeling.
"Now there's an idea…," she murmured.
"Is something on your mind, Jajka-san?" asked Mika, still smiling placidly despite the red mark on her face.
"I think we may have found a chink in that blonde bimbo's armor," said Jajka, smiling wickedly.
"You sh-should talk about your - yourself like that, Jaj – Jajka-san," said Nishi, her words slurred. "You should…should have a little more…more respect for your – yourself…Jajka-san."
"I wasn't talking about me, you idiot!" Jajka snapped. "And how are you drunk on juice?!"
"I add special non-alcoholic ingredient that simulates the effects of drunkenness," said Cutlass monotonously, though the glint in her eye made her seem quite proud.
"Why would you even make something like that?!" yelled Jajka.
"I thought it would be funny," said Cutlass.
"So about this 'chink'," said Mika calmly, bringing out her kantele and playing a few notes. "I take it you wish you wish to remove Darjeeling-san from the competition? As a mean of dealing an emotional blow to Kay-san, who is clearly smitten for her."
"I knew I kept you around for a reason," said Jajka, taking a quick sip. "You saw what happened to Bosporus when Kafka was kicked off. If we can do the same for the bimbo, that would break their little alliance. And then our biggest obstacle would be removed."
"But how would you even do that?" asked Cutlass, joining the conversation. "You're not on the same team."
"I'll figure something out…," said Jajka cryuptically.
While they plotted from a distance, Jajka's alliance was unaware that they were being watched by a certain fortunetelling commander. Marina gave them a lengthy stare before flipping a card from her deck. A trouble frown crossed her lips at what she saw. But before she could put words to her thoughts, the PA system screeched, causing everyone to wince.
"Attention future failures!" Chris's voice boomed over the loudspeakers. "We are about to dock at our next destination. Try not to fall on the way down. You're gonna be soaring to new heights. Hehe…."
CONFESSIONALS
Shizuka: I would feel more uneasy…if his not-subtly puns weren't so terrible.
As opposed to their previous destinations where they had made landfall in actual countries, the S.S. Total Drama docked into the port of a large island. The waters were sparkling blue with long stretches of untouched beaches. A small city rested on the edge of the water with older architecture further inland. It was the kind of place you would expect to see on a postcard.
The commanders didn't think they would have a chance to enjoy such a scenic location. So imagine their surprise when the rental bus (naturally dilapidated and coughing clouds of smoke from its tailpipe) dropped them of at an unoccupied beach on the western side of the island. The girls cheered enthusiastically as they ran around, kicking off their shoes and feeling the sand dig between their toes. Some of them even ran into the water, shivering pleasantly as the waes gently lapped against their ankles.
"It's the beach!" Semla cheered.
"The beach!" Aung repeated.
"I always wonder why girls in Japanese animes scream 'beach, beach!' in swimsuit episodes," said Emi, taking a leisurely stroll with Miho.
"I think it's just something that naturally hardwired into our brains," said Miho jokingly. "Even though we live on school ships, we rarely have beach days. This might actually be fun for a change."
"Though some of us might be having a little too much fun," said Emi. She gestured her chin toward Kay and El, who shamelessly threw off their clothes down to their underwear, diving headlong into the water. While the pair started a swimming race, Darjeeling – with a flushed face – screamed at them:
"Don't just strip in public! Have a little decency!"
"Aw, relax, will ya?" said Katyusha as she and Erika approached. "It's the beach! No one's gonna at an eye if you show a little skin."
"Though in your case, I imagine a lot of people will be in trouble with the police," said Erika snarkily.
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Katyusha screamed.
"We shouldn't let our guard down," said Alice, appearing like a ninja between everyone, causing several commanders to jump. "This may be the beach, but don't forget that it was Chris who brought us here. There's no way he would let us enjoy this peacefully."
"Right you are, halfpint."
Lo and behold, the man (devil) himself appeared. Except now he decided to switch up his outfit, trading in his casual shirt for a bomber jacket, a flowing scarf, and an aviator hat and goggles. Even Maho had changed her usual for a flight suit and aviator glasses.
"Welcome to Crete, the largest of the Greek Islands," said Chris. "Known for its diverse and vibrant land packed with ancient ruins, buzzing cities, and gorgeous beaches. Don't say I never took you anywhere nice."
"What's with the outfit, mate?" asked Wallaby.
"I'm so glad you asked," said Chris, grinning with sadistic glee. "Your first challenge will take place here on this beautiful, isolated beach."
"There's no chance the challenge is gonna be a beach volleyball tournament, is there?" asked Trout, already knowing the answer.
"As much as out horndog fans would enjoy it, no," said Chris. "Maho, a little context for todays challenge, if you please."
"In 1941, Axis initiated the first mainly airborne operation where twenty-two thousand German paratroopers landed on Crete," Maho explained. "The Battle of Crete was a significant point in military history that led to the development of airborne-assault and airfield-defense regiments."
"So we decided to take inspiration from those aerial daredevils to create this challenge," said Chris proudly.
"Figures he'd be inspired by mass slaughter and invasion," Trout mumbled.
"I wouldn't be surprised if he was related to general mustache himself," El remarked.
"See that platform way out there in the distance?" said Chris, pointing out toward the ocean, directing everyone's attention to a giant inflatable platform in the middle of the water. Though barely visible to most, it looked like there was a giant target painted on it. "Your challenge will jump out of a plane from three thousand feet where you will deploy your parachutes and land safely on the target."
"Haven't you thrown us out enough planes?!" snapped Erika.
"Ha-ha, not even close," Chris chortled. "The team that land the most players on the target wins the challenge and will be granted a bonus for the next round."
"There's no way it can be that easy," said Jajka suspiciously. "There's gotta be a catch."
"You know me so well," said Chris playfully. He stepped aside as Maho, Fukuda, and Rosehip rolled in colorful cannons on carts and basket filled with fruit. "While one team is jumping, the other team use these fruit cannons to knock their opponents out of the sky. Their job will be to keep the opposing team from reaching the target.
"Won't that hurt?" asked Nishi worriedly.
"Hopefully," said Chris with a wide grin.
CONFESSIONALS
Wallaby: Is anyone else getting serial killer vibes from this guy or is it just me?"
Chris retrieved a (Canadian) coin from his pocket and said, "We'll flip a coin to decide which team will be the jumpers and which will be the shooters. Call it in the air."
The reality show host flicked it skyward with a ting! The coin had reached its peak and started to fall when the first person to shout "Heads!" arose from the Pummeled Punchys. The voice belonged to Marina, who had drawn from her deck before the coin toss. So when the coin landed in Chris's hand and he examined the side facing up, he called:
"Head!" Several girls pumped their fists victoriously. "Pummeled Punchys, will you be jumping or shooting first?"
"We'll be jumping," answered Marina immediately.
"Who put you in charge?" said Anchovy impatiently.
"It's fine, it's fine," said Miho, stepping between them. "We're going to be doing both positions anyway, so it doesn't matter which one we do first."
"…I guess you got a point," Anchovy acknowledged after a moment of thought.
CONFESSIONALS
Miho: It seems a little strange that Marina is being so assertive now. I don't know much about her because she's always been sitting in the background.
BZZT
Marina: (shuffling her deck) Compared to Nishizumi and Darjeeling, I don't stand out much. I had planned to take advantage of that, to be the unseen victor. But… (Draws a card) it seems that fate has other plans for me.
"Jumpers, collect your parachutes from the bin next to Maho," said Chris, pointing to his assistant behind him. "Shooters, take your positions and get ready to fling some fruit."
"Hmm…this could be a good opportunity that tea-slurping bitch out of the competition early," said Jajka, a sinister grin crossing her lips and she watched Miho and Shizuka collect their parachutes.
"Do you mean Darjeeling-san?" asked Nishi, tilting her head confused.
"Yes, I mean Darjeeling!" Jajka snapped at her. "Did you not listen to anything I said earlier?"
"I distinctly remember her being drunk on experimental juice," said Mika casually.
"I was?!" Nishi gasped in shock. "How shameful!"
"Why did I pic you morons for my alliance…?" Jajka groaned, running a hand down her face.
"Hey!" Jajka's alliance looked back over their shoulders at Erika, Katyusha, and Kay walked by while the rest of the Bokos were learnin how to operate the cannon. "What're you three plotting over there?"
"We were – " Nishi started until Jajka slapped a hand over her mouth.
"That's none of your business," she said scathingly. Katyusha gave her a piercing look before patting Erika's head, which apparently was a signal to move on. Once they were out of earshot, Jajka referred to her cohorts in hushed tones. "Okay, here's the plan. Mika, you distract our teammates so that no one notices we're missing."
"As the new blows in a new direction," said Mika cryptically, "so too shall the news join their dance."
"…Yeah, whatever," said Jajka dismissively. "Kinuyo, keep the tea bitch occupied for a few seconds while I leave her a little surprise in her parachute."
"But how do I distract her?" asked Nishi.
"I don't know! Think of something!" Jajka snapped, giving the Chi-Ha-Tan commander a great shove forward.
Darjeeling was about to collect her own parachute from the bin when she was suddenly bumped from the side, nearly knocking her over. She straightened herself and turned on Nishi, who looked flustered, like a child who had been caught sneaking candy behind their parent's backs.
"Did you need something, Kinuyo?" asked Darjeeling politely.
"Uh – uh – yes, I was – uh," Nishi stuttered, eyes flashing back and forth nervously. "I was just…wondering…uh…. What's the difference between white tea and black tea! Yes, that's it! That's what I wanted to ask."
"That is a good question, Kinuyo," said Darjeeling, her eyes glinting in a prideful way. "The thing you have to remember is that the many tea types can be distinguished by oxidation or fermentation. The process first begins – "
Thank god Kinuyo chose a tea topic, Jajka thought as she crept stealthily behind the parachute bin. One thing you can count on from a St. Gloriana student was their ability to talk about tea for hours on end.
Bonple's commander did a quick survey of the area. Mika was distracting the Bokos with a kantele concert, The Punchys were busy figuring out how to strap themselves into their parachutes, and Chris and Maho had their backs turned, apparently going over some legal documents. Jajka peeked over the edge of the bin and whipped out a knife she had stolen from the ship's mess hall. She grabbed the pack that Darjeeling had reached for and cut the release string until it was only held together by a thread.
With her work done, Jajka returned the pack and slipped away.
CONFESSIONALS
Jajka: The plan is to get the tea bitch off the show. If she has to leave in the back of an ambulance, that works, too.
" – and that's the difference between white tea and black tea," Darjeeling concluded happily.
"That was truly enlightening!" said Nishi, sparkly-eyed. "Thank you for explaining it to me!"
"It was no trouble at all," said Darjeeling delightfully. "I'm always happy to explain the finer details of one of man's greatest contribution to society."
"Yeah, yeah, tea, whatever," said Jajka rudely, suddenly grabbing Nishi by the arm and pulling her away. "Come on, you idiot. We've got fruit to throw."
Nishi waved good-bye and Darjeeling tilted her head curiously; neither of them noticing the malevolent grin on Jajka's lip. Darjeeling shrugged off the strangeness and reached for the parachute that Jajka had sabotaged…when Marina suddenly bounced forward and grabbed it before St. Gloriana's commander could.
"I hope you don't mind, Darjeeling," said Marina sweetly. "The card say that this particular parachute is very important and that I should be the one to take it."
"Oh…well, all right then," said Darjeeling, grabbing the last pack. "If that's what you want, it's fine by me."
"All right, people, strap in and load up!" said Chris enthusiastically, pulling down his goggle. "It's dive time!"
The Pummel Punchys were regretting all of their life choices when they boarded the dilapidated wreckage of a place that Chris had brought. But it wasn't just any plane – it was the same aircraft that had tossed them into the ocean at the beginning of the season. Miho knew because she recognized the stain on the floor where Erika had vomited. Though Maho piloted the plane as smoothly as she could, the commanders were still fumbling around in the back with no place to sit or grab. The only person who was able to find their footing was Chris, who was standing by the cabin door.
"We have reached an altitude of three thousand feet!" Maho yelled back. "We will be approaching the drop zone in three minutes!"
"All right, time to do or die!" said Chris. "Though try to avoid the whole 'dying' part. It'd be a hassle looking for replacements mid-season!"
The reality show host grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, releasing the pressure in the cabin. After a few moments when no one volunteered to be the first one to jump, Miho decided to bite the bullet and shakily marched up the hatch. As she stood at the threshold, the wind whipping in her hair, she looked down and it only just hit her how high they really were from solid ground.
"This is insane!" Miho screamed. "This is actually insane!"
"We are now directly over the drop zone!" Maho shouted. "Anyone who doesn't jump now will lose their window of opportunity and forfeit the challenge!"
"C'mon, it can't be that scary!" said Chris casually, slapping Miho on the back. But he misjudged Miho's stance and his own strength and inadvertently pushed her out the door. "Oops…."
"Mmm…," Anchovy groaned under her breath. "All right, fine, if no one else will go! Avanti!"
Chris quickly pressed himself against the cabin wall as Anchovy ran past him and dived out the door. The rest of the Punchys seemed motived by Anchovy's courage and lined up to jump out of the plane one by one.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Emi groaned, but jumped nonetheless.
"Mangez bien, riez souvent, aimez beaucoup," Marie recited with a dainty hop.
"I'm gonna kill you, Chris!" Trout swore before leaping out.
One after another, all members of the Pummeled Punchys dived out of the cabin until Marina was the only one left. Count High's commander bit her bottom lip, gripping the strap of her parachute anxiously. She breathed in through the nose, exhaled through the mouth, and took the leap of faith.
Free falling over a hundred miles an hour with the wind beating against their faces made it difficult to see the inflatable platform, especially those with longer hair like Marie and Anchovy. Miho brushed back her bangs and squinted. The target was directly below them and closing in fast.
"Release your parachutes!" Miho shouted over the rushing winds.
Ooarai's commander was the first to pull the cord; the nylon canvas exploded from her pack, expanding to maximum length and going taut, bringing Miho to a sudden jolting stop. Miho clenched the links until her knuckles were white, being harshing as she tried to slow her rapid heartbeat. She tilted her head back and was unsurprised that Chris's smirking face was printed on the canopy. She looked around and as relieved to see the rest of her team opening their chutes one by one….
Everyone except Marina, who was failing out of control.
"What are you doing?!" Darjeeling screamed in a panic. "Pull the cord!"
What Darjeeling didn't realize was that Marina had already pulled the cord, only for it to snap in her hand. With no means of slowing herself down, both teams watched in stunned horror as Count High's commander fell like a ton of bricks until she hit the water with a spine-tingling CLAP! The Punchys, the Bokos, and even Chris winced and hissed sympathetically. Marina disappeared until the water for a full heart-stopping minute until her listless body floated to the surface on her back, her skin a painful shade of red.
"You think she's all right?" Miho asked her teammates, face flushed with worry.
"If she's still alive, she's gonna wish she wasn't," Aung grimaced.
"We should get down quickly and – " Shizuka started when a bushel of apples flew out of nowhere, bombarding her in the face and chest. The impact caused Shizuka to lurch back, main her parachute fold in on itself, and drop out of the air. Shizuka crashed into the ocean twenty feet from the target, but suffered minimal injury because of the lower height and slowed descent. Rather than be upset by her failure, Shizuka paddled toward Marina, who was frighteningly still. She pressed two fingers against her neck and let out a relieved sigh.
"Thank god she's still breathing," Shizuka murmured, then started paddling to shore.
CONFESSIONALS
Aung: We've been doing a lot of dangerous things since the start of the show, but I always knew Chris wouldn't try to kill us…. Well, he might, but it'd be bad for his ratings.
BZZT
Semla: When I saw Marina smack into the water, my heart almost stopped. I never been so terrified in my entire life. It's a miracle she managed to survive.
BZZT
Emi: Chris and Maho inspected the gear later and found that release line had been deliberately cut. What kind of cold-blooded monster would endanger another person's life for a win?
"Load it up again!" Jajka snapped at Nishi and Mika, who were running around trying to gather fruit from the baskets. "Come on, come on, move faster! They're right – there!"
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Katyusha yelled, pulling at Jajka's sleeve. The rest of the Bokos had ditched their cannons in favor of helping Shizuka and Marina to shore. "Someone is seriously injured and you're still playing this stupid game?"
"I'm not about to lose because some idiot belly flopped," said Jajka. "If you want to get kicked off, that's fine by me, loser."
"You're insane…," said Katyusha disapprovingly before running off.
Nishi and Mika, who had just finished loading all the cannons, looked like they were planning to follow the shorter commander, but Jajka's sharp tone stopped them in their tracks.
"Where do you think you're going?" she snapped. "Get on those cannons and shoot them down!"
"Y-Yes, Jajka-san!" Nishi saluted nervously; Mika remained silently, plucking her kantele.
CONFESSIONALS
Nishi: Jajka-san's dedication is admirable…but also scary.
Once Jajka and her henchwomen finished loading the cannons, they took aim on the Punchys still airborne and released.
Emi raised her arm to protect her face from being pelted with strawberries, leaving her stomach open for a mango attack. The blow knocked the wind out of her, but Emi managed to steady herself and pulled the links to alter her course. Unfortunately, Darjeeling did not possess her level of endurance as she was knocked back when a bunch of grapes smacked her in the face, splattering their juices in her eyes and hair. Nishi followed up with a watermelon directly to Darjeeling's chute, causing it to crumple and drop the refined commander into the ocean. And Marie…she unhooked herself and dropped willingly into the water before they even took a shot.
"Why did you forfeit like that?" Darjeeling asked when her French-themed compatriot emerged.
"It looked painful when you got hit," said Marie plainly.
"Obviously," said Darjeeling, annoyed.
Aung, surprisingly, followed Marie's example and unhooked herself from her chute before the fruit came flying her way. But rather than falling into the ocean, Aung clapped her arms at her side, going stiff as a board, and directed herself toward the inflatable platform. Tategoto was flying too fast for the fruit to reach her in time and landed squarely on the platform, bouncing twice before coming to a strop.
"Thanks to Aung's awesome diving skills, the Pummeled Punchy get their first point!" Chris announced. "The Bruised Boko's better start flinging some fruit before they get a bigger lead."
"What are you idiots doing!" Jajka snapped. "Shoot them down!"
"Yes, ma'am!" Nishi saluted.
Trout showed a surprising level of finesse as she swerved her parachute in a serpentine formation, skillfully dodging the oncoming produce. Anchovy managed to swing her body out of the way of most shots, but took direct hits from others. Regardless, she managed to power through and was on her way towards the target.
"Hah! It's gonna take a lot more than that to stop – "
Anchovy's words were cut short when a watermelon shot past her head and got caught in one of her ponytails. The flying fruit pulled her hair so suddenly, it caused Anzio's commander to turn her head sharply until everyone heard a sharp crack from her neck. Naturally, Anchovy dropped out of their air and crashed listlessly in water.
Chris took a sharp breath and said, "She's gonna feel that one in the morning."
Jajka's squad quickly turned their cannons on Miho as she steadily approached the inflatable target. Jajka tried knockin her out with a handful of pears, but Miho deftly twisted her body to avoid all of them. Mika followed behind with a bunch of bananas, but Ooarai's commander casually tilted to the side to dodge. And when Nishi started pelting her with tomatoes (yes, they are a fruit!), Miho nonchalantly leaned under the barrage. And before the Bokos realized it, Miho gently touched down on the target.
"Miho's dodge game is on point!" said Chris, sounding impressed.
CONFESSIONALS
Miho: Who knew dodging shells would have a practical use in life?
"You losers are completely useless!" said Jajka as she stuffed a coconut into the cannon. "Let me show you how it's done!"
She turned the cannon and considered who to aim for. Emi and Trout had already landed, bringing the Punchys to a total of three, and Miho was impossible to nail. The only person available was El.
Jajka readjusted the cannon's direction, squaring up with El's descent, then triggered the cannon to fire. Her aim was true as the coconut flew threw the air and landed a solid hit on El's breast. What she didn't expect, however, was El's god-gifted bosom to cushion the blow, absorbing the coconut's kinetic energy, and shoot it straight back like a speeding bullet. Jajka was dumbfounded by this latest disregard for the laws of physics that she didn't move out of the way when the coconut smashed against her forehead, knocking her unconscious.
Back up in the plane, Chris watched the whole thing through his binoculars, then turned to Maho and said, "Please tell me we got that on camera!"
Maho replied with a thumbs-up.
Miho and El landed on the inflatable platform safely with Aung, Trout, and Emi, giving each other celebratory high-fives.
"The Pummeled Punchys are done!" Chris announced, sticking out of the plane and shouting through a bullhorn. "And with an impressive score of five safe landings! Bruised Bokos, report to the beach to await pick up!"
Chris and Maho returned to the beach twenty minutes later after safely landing the plane. When they arrived, Anchovy and Marina had already been treated by the S.S. Total Drama's stand-by medic, which was actually a student from Count High.
Anchovy was forced to wear a neck brace, which must have itched by the was she was scratching at it, but overall seemed healthy. Marina, on the other hand, had her left leg in a cast and her left arm in a sling, as well as a bundle of bandage wrapped around her head, barely visible under her hat. But despite her injury, Count High's commander was still smiling through like it was nothing.
"Okay, that should about do it," said Mizuki Ikarashi, packing up her kit when Chris and Maho joined them. "Miss Anchovy has some minor whiplash. Some painkillers and regular icing take care of that. But Marina-chan has a fractured femur, a fractured radius, and a possible concussion. I would strongly recommend she remain in bed for next few weeks."
"I'm fine, Mizuki-chan," said Marina lightly. "You worry too much."
"Good enough for me!" said Chris enthusiastically, grabbing Mizuki and casually throwing her aside; she was blocking the camera. "The Pummel Punchys end their round with five points. And out of the nine remaining players on the Bruised Bokos, you're gonna need at least six to win. So lets hop on the plane and get this show on the road!"
"Actually, we were just talking about that," Erika spoke up. "And we decided not to do the challenge."
"What?!" Chris and Jajka yelled together.
"You saw what happened Anzio and Count!" said Katyusha. "There's no way in hell Katyusha is setting foot on that screaming metal death trap!"
"We all took a vote and agreed to skip it," said Semla.
"Why is this the first I'm hearing about it?!" said Jajka, outraged.
"You got knocked out by a coconut, mate," said Wallaby. "Even if you hadn't, it would still eight-to-one."
"Eight?" Jajka repeated suspiciously. She turned her narrow glare on Nishi and Mika, who refused to meet her eye. "You two…."
CONFESSIONALS
Nishi: Jajka-san was very unhappy when we voted without her. But after what happened to Marina-san, I was scared to do it myself. And…now that I think about it. (Touches chin thoughtfully.) Didn't Jajka-san say she would leave a surprise in one of the parachutes? Did she have something to do with it…. Nah! Jajka-san would never do something like that!
BZZT
Mika: Jajka definitely sabotaged the parachute. Should I rat her out? Probably. Will I do it? Well…we'll see where the winds favor.
"You realize if you don't participate you lose the advantage in the next round," Chris pointed out.
"Better than breaking our necks, or worse," said Alice; the Bokos nodded and murmured in agreement.
"Ugh, fi-i-ine," groaned Chris when it became clear that the Bokos weren't going to put themselves in danger for his entertainment. "Since the Bokos are a bunch of chickens, the winners are the Pummeled Punchys!"
The victors of the first round whooped and cheered.
"Glad no one else has to get hurt," said Miho brightly.
"Personally, I would've loved to shoot Jajka in her dumb clown face," said Emi.
"You may get your chance yet!" said Chris enthusiastically, surprising her and Miho when he popped up between them. "Because we still have one more challenge left: the panzer round! Cue scene change!"
One broken down bus trip later, and the Total Drama commanders found themselves disembarking at the mouth of large canyon (or was it a gorge?) Based on her observation, Miho estimated the height of the canyon walls to be a little over three hundred feet. The entrance to the gorge, however, was incredibly narrow – at least four meters or less – making it that only a single tank would be able to fit at a time.
Speaking of which, nineteen of M4 Saunders' M4 Shermans were already lined up in a row by the time they arrived, undergoing cleaning and maintenance by dozens of Saunders students. Nine tanks were labeled with the Bruised Bokos' blue emblem and ten with the Pummeled Punchys' pink marker.
So they really were going to be fighting in this gorge, Miho thought. That could be tricky depending on which side they were on….
"Welcome to the Samaria Gorge," Chris introduced. (Oh, so it is a gorge!) "One of the most popular tourist attractions on the island, famous among hikers and tourists. The gorge is sixteen kilometers long and four meters wide, except the abandoned village of Samaria halfway in the gorge. That's where our next challenge will take place."
"The game is a rendition of capture the flag," Maho explained. "One team will be defending; the other attacking. The defending team will start in the village and defend their flag by disabling the enemy tanks. The attacking will start in the mouth of the gorge and make their way to the village. In order to win, the attacking team will either hae to claim their opposing team's flag or knock out all enemy tanks."
"So it's like a Sensha-do match!" said Kay excitedly while the commanders cheered. "Finally, something normal for a change!"
"The attacking team is going to be at a huge disadvantage," said Miho thoughtfully.
"With the gorge so narrow, the attacking team will be forced to line up in a row," Emi agreed. "It'll bottleneck the entire squad, making them sitting ducks for bombardment. It's a natural death trap for tanks."
"Now comes the most important part: choosing sides," said Chris. "Punchys, will you be attacking or defending?"
Miho and Emi shared a quick look before screaming, "Defend!" along with the rest of the Pummeled Punchys, who all seemed to understand the cost of attacking in a narrow gorge. There was a predictable outcry from the Bruised Bokos, though.
"Hey, that's not fair!" shouted Wallaby.
"Why do they get to pick?" said Erika.
"Because they won the first challenge," said Chris, unamused. "I warned you that you would lose the advantage if you chose not to participate. Bet you wish you'd jumped out of that plane now, huh?"
CONFESSIONALS
Jajka: I told them we should've done the challenge, but no-o-o-o-o! Nobody listens to Jajka, even when she's the ONLY ONE WITH ANY COMMON SENSE! (Takes a deep breath through her nose.) But it's fine. Despite the geographical disadvantage, I came prepare just in case.
"Listen, you two," said Jajka, pulling Nishi and Mika aside while Maho went over the topography of the gorge and the nearly village. "I have a way solve our little dilemma, but I'm gonna need your help."
"Of course, Jajka-san!" said Nishi with a salute. "I will follow your lead!"
"And what underhanded strategy have you eased this time," Mika seemed accusing, even if her smile and tone didn't match.
"There's no such thing as 'underhanded' in war," said Jajka resolutely. "And as for what I have planned, look what I found on the ship yesterday."
Jajka's hand disappeared under her flashy cape, from which she recovered an unmistakable bundle of dangerous red sticks tied together by thin ropes.
"Is that a bomb?!" Nish gasped.
"While I was exploring the ship, looking for places to spy on my enemies," said Jajka un abashed, "I saw that dumb redhead from St. Gloriana coming out of room. The idiot forgot to lock the door behind her. And inside, I found where Chris is storing all his pyrotechnics. I grabbed one just in case."
"And what do you plan to do with that," Mika's accusatory tone remained.
"I plant this under one of the Punchy's tanks," said Jajka viciously. "Then, when our team comes out of the gorge, I'll set the charge off remotely. It'll knock out of their members and give us a great distraction so we can enter the village without getting bombarded."
"Isn't that dangerous?!" said Nishi. "Someone could get hurt!"
"Again," Mika shot Jajka a pointed look.
"Relax, they'll be inside the tanks," Jajka waved off their concern. "This little bit isn't enough to do any real damage. All it'll do is knock them out of commission. Now make yourselves useful and keep a lookout while I plant this.
CONFESSIONALS
Nishi: I can understand wanting to sabotage the other team to help our own, but I worry that Jajka-san might be going too far. I just hope no one gets hurt.
BZZT
Kay: I saw Jajka's group pull away while Chris was talking. Nishi looked really stress. I wonder what Jajka told her.
BZZT
Mika: Nishi looks to be having some misgivings about her alliance with Jajka. I wonder what wind will blow from this.
While her flunkies stood guard in front of the row of tanks, Jajka crouched behind and slipped out of sight. She didn't know who was going to be in which tank, so she just chose one at random. She army crawled between the treads and flipped on her back, strapping the explosive with duct tape she had the foresight to bring.
"All right, get to your tanks, ladies!" Chris's obnoxious voice reached Jajka's ears. "Punchys will have twenty minutes to get themselves ready. Bokos, you'll go when Maho gives the signal."
Jajka heard the commanders walking her way and quickly extracted herself. She flattened herself against the back of the tank, careful not to let anyone spot her, before running away. Jajka didn't notice after she left that the commander approaching the rigged tank was Darjeeling, her original target. Darjeeling started to climb the Sherman when –
"Excuse me, Darjeeling." St. Gloriana's commander stopped as Marina hobbled over, leaning heavily against her crutch. "Would you mind if I take that one? The cards say it's very important that I command that particular tank."
"Are you sure you should even be competing in your condition?" asked Darjeeling, concerned. "With your injuries…."
"I am confident that this is the right choice," said Marina cryptically. "The fates tell me so."
Darjeeling's expression was filled with doubt, but she relented nonetheless and stepped back to let Marina clim the Sherman, aided by the Saunders students.
CONFESSIONAL
Darjeeling: I would think that Marina would have a lower opinion on 'fate' after her last predication left her with a faulty parachute. But I suppose some habits are harder to break than others.
Deep in the center of the gorge was the abandoned Samaria village. There was less than a couple dozen stone house in varying states for ruin spread out in between the high canyon walls, but there were hundreds of low stone walls that went up in levels throughout the village. And in the heart of the village was a metal flagpole with the Pummeled Punchy's banner waving in the wind.
Cover was minimal, especially for the large M4 Shermans. But concealment was a low priority. Rather, the Pummeled Punchys positioned themselves out in the open on different levels with all their turrets aimed at the mouth of the gorge.
"Everyone, maintain your positions and prepare to fire on my order," said Miho, going full commander mode. "The only way in and out of the alley is through the gorge, meaning the enemy has no choice but to come through there. The gorge is narrow, so they'll have to come through one at a time. We'll use the opening as a chokepoint to bombard them from multiple angles. If everything goes well, we'll be able to wipe most of them in one fell swoop."
"There has to be some kind of trick," said Emi thoughtfully. "Chris must have known the attacking team would be at a huge disadvantage. Or at least Maho would've told him."
"Well, the point of the game is to capture the flag" said Marie, who managed to get her hands on some Revani. "Maybe they'll have some sneaking outside a tank and snatch it up while everybody's distracted. That's what I'd do."
"They'd be running in a literal war zone," said Trout. "No one's crazy enough to do that."
"But it sounds like something Chris would expect," said Miho seriously. "Marina, I ant you to stick close to the flag. If you spot anyone trying to make a run for the flag, let us know and we'll run straight back to defend."
"Are you sure you want me guarding the flag?" Marina questioned.
"With your injuries, I want you to avoid combat as much as possible," said Miho with a tinge of worry. "So stay back and stay behind cover. If it looks like someone is charging you, run – don't fight. No game is worth a friend getting hurt over."
"If that's the case," said Marina, smiling lightly with a salute. "Orders received commander."
Marina dipped back inside the Sherman and locked the hatch. Meanwhile, the bomb strapped to her underside beeped ominously….
The Bruised Bokos slowly – cautiously – made their way through the winding narrow gorge, the Sherman's armor scratching against the cliff walls every so often. Jajka's group was at the head of the metal snake with Nishi out in front, who seemed slightly apprehensive about her position.
"Why do I need to be in the front again?" she asked.
"So that you can guard everyone behind and give everyone a chance to make it into the village safely," said Jajka casually. "We aren't going to win without losing some tanks. Your sacrifice will lead us to victory."
"Oh, I suppose that makes sense," said Nishi thoughtfully.
"If worst comes to worst, you could always charge the enemy," said Mika, who was behind Jajka's tank.
"That's a great idea, Mika-san!" Nishi shouted enthusiastically, saluting the other Bokos. "Do not worry, friend! For I shall protect you all with my greatest charge yet!"
"Er…great?" said Semla uncertainly, who was behind Mika.
"Idiot," Jajka muttered under her breath.
At the very back of the line was Kay, Erika, and Katyusha with Provda's commander bringing up the rear. Kay lowered her binoculars, which she had been using to observe Jajka's alliance, and frowned suspiciously.
"Jajka's planning something," Kay pointed out.
"When is she not?" said Katyusha.
"Whatever it is cannot be safe, either for us or the other team," said Erika with a serious glare. "We all know that it was Jajka who sabotaged Count's parachute, right? I can understand wanting to win, but to go to such extreme lengths…."
"She's lucky Marina didn't die," said Kay. "I just wish we had evidence to prove it was her."
"Even if we did, you think Chris'd kick her off the show?" said Katyusha. "If anything, he'd probably encourage it."
"Which is why we need to end this match quickly before anyone else gets hurt," said Erika, turning around toward her smallest comrade. "You remember the plan?"
"Why does Katyusha have to be the one to do it?!" Katyusha whined childishly.
Because you're small," Erika pointed out bluntly.
"Tiny," Kay added.
"Short."
"Midget."
"Okay, Katyusha gets it already!" Katyusha snapped, looking ready to cry.
"I can see the exit!" Nishi shouted from ahead.
Kay pulled up her binoculars again. The path ahead was starting to open up and she could make out the little stone buildings of the canyon village…and a cadre of her own M4 Sharmans primed and ready to fire. As expected, Miho was at the front, no doubt leading the counteroffensive.
What Kay failed to see, however, was the remote detonator in Jajka's grip, or the malicious grin on her lips.
The moment Nishi's tank was out of the confined space of the gorge, she screamed, "CHARGE!" and predictable rushed ahead of the rest of her team, flying straight toward Miho. Ooarai's commander expected as much; using Nishi to bait them while the rest of the Bokos spread out. But Miho was not falling for it. She ignored Nishi's kamikaze strike and raised her right arm to signal the others.
"All tanks begin bombardment on my command!" Miho ordered. "Ready…."
But Miho's plans were quickly derailed when Jajka's tank emerged from the canyon and the Bonple commander pressed the trigger with sadistic glee. What followed was a chorus of surprised screams when a great explosion went off behind them, causing the Punchys to instinctively look back. There they spotted Marina's Sherman as if rolled over the low stone walls down the small hillside until it came to a stop on its side; a white flag popped up seconds after. And speaking off flags, the flagpole the Punchys were supposed to guard was blown away by the explosion, landing somewhere out of sight. But right now, that was the least of their concerns.
"Marina!" Miho cried into the radio. "Marina, are you okay?!"
After a few heart-stopping seconds, a Saunders student replied, "She's all right, but I think she hit her head on the hatch. She's out cold. We're getting her out now."
Miho let out a relieved sigh.
CONFESSIONALS
Jajka: So I misjudged the strength of the explosion. She's still alive, isn't she?
As the tension started to leave Miho's body, something struck her tank from the front, nearly throwing her off. She jumped when a white flag suddenly popped out. Miho spun around and found herself face Nishi, who was directly in front of Miho with her barrel smoking, lookin just as dumfounded as Miho.
"I…I did it?" Nishi gaped, then exploded into cheers. "I DID IT! I DEFEATED NISHIZUMI-SAN! BANZAI! BANZAI!" A shell hit her tank from the side, white-flagging her. "I'M HIT!"
"What the hell just happened?!" screamed Anchovy, emerging from her tank after shooting down Nishi. "Why did Marina's tank suddenly low up?!"
"We have bigger things to worry about!" shouted Shizuka. She pointed to the opening of the gorge as the Bokos started flooding in. "The enemy is getting in. Strike them down now!"
By the time the Punchys open fired, half of the Bruised Bokos had already swarmed the village. Wallaby's tank was white-flagged at the mouth of the gorge, but was swiftly knocked aside by Alice's tank before she shot back. The shell scrapped the side of Aung's tank, forcing her to drive back and take shelter behind one of the stone houses. However, Mika flanked around the side and shot Aung's unguarded backside, instantly white-flagging her. Anchovy tried to retaliate in earnest, but Mika had slipped backwards out of her range and left her to be distracted by Semla's volley.
Erika and Katyusha were the last to emerge from the gorge. Both sides were already locked in heated combat; Erika watched Mika take out Trout before Shizuka rammed her from the side and blasted her at point-blank. She turned around toward Katyusha.
"Get going while everyone's distracted!" she commanded.
"Katyusha can't believe she's doing this," Katyusha muttered as she climbed out of the hatch. "You owe Katyusha big time!"
With that, Pravda's commander dived off and rolled on the ground, while her tank went on without her.
Katyusha ran across the village, using the low stone walls to conceal her movements (and she didn't need to crouch because of her…stature.) She purposely took the long way around the edge of the village; she didn't want someone accidentally running her over in all the chaos. A shell came dangerously close to her hiding spot, destroying the section of the wall only a few feet from her head. Katyusha poked her head out and spotted Darjeeling knocking out her tank before moving on to confront Erika.
"The things Katyusha does for victory," Katyusha muttered, ducking back down.
Jajka just white-flagged El's Sherman and spotted the Punchys' knocked down flag less than ten meters away, leaning against a stone wall.
"There's the flag!" Jajka screamed, yelling at her crew. "What're you idiots waiting for?! Go after it!"
"You could say please," the Saunders driver muttered.
"What was that?!" Jajka snapped.
"Nothing…bitch," the driver grumbled under her breath.
Jajka cackled wildly, preemptively declaring herself the victor. But as she made her approach on the flag, another Sherman tank suddenly rolled out from behind the stone building they were passing and rammed Jajka's tank from the side. Bonple's commander was nearly unseated by the sudden charge and glared venomously at the attacker. Much to her irritation, she caught a glimpse of Shizuka's demonic grin…right before she saw the barrel aimed at her tank's hull. Jajka had no chance of warning her crew before Shizuka shouted:
"FIRE!"
The knockback from the shot caused Jajka to hit the hatch with the back of her head, knocking her unconscious. The Saunders crew watched her drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes…and everyone started doing their own things like eating snacks or reading magazines.
"Overconfidence and arrogance has always been your undoing, Jajka-san," said Shizuka. "I thought you would have learned that by – " She stopped herself when she felt a tingle in the back of her neck, then suddenly shouted to the crew. "REVERSE – NOW!"
Shizuka's Sherman pulled back sharply, but barely moving out of the way in time before a shell blasted the spot where they once stood. Shizuka turned in the direction of the shot and a wide, devilish grin stretched across her lips as Alice's tank rolled along, the tiny commander keeping a sharp eye on her opponent.
"Finally, a chance to test myself against the great Shimada style," said Shizuka eagerly. "Forward!"
But as she chased after Alice, Shizuka did not notice Katyusha poking her head up from the low walls, her eyes locked on the Punchys' flag.
After a long and arduous battle, Darjeeling had finally managed to white-flag Erika. St. Gloriana's commander was showing heavy signs of damage. She was accustomed to the thick heavy of her Chruchill that she had not put much consideration into avoid shots. Looks like it was coming to bite her.
"We just need to hold out a little longer," Darjeeling told her crew. "It's our five to their three. If we preserver long enough, we can – "
"Yoo-hoo, my Darling!"
Darjeeling felt a thrill of panic at the shameless (mating) call of one Saunders commander. She turned her Sherman's turret around just as Kay's tank landed a few meters away after jumping off the hill. As to be expected, Kay's tank was unscathed; these were her tanks after all. And to make matters worse, Darjeeling saw the white flag of Anchovy's tank out of her peripheral.
"Hello, my Darling," Kay greeted playfully, head resting casually in her hands. "You looked pretty and beat up and pretty beat up."
"You do have a way with words, Kay," said Darjeeling. Unknown to the other blonde, she made hand signals to the crew to start loading the cannon. "You, on the other hand, seem relatively unharmed. What's your secret?"
"Just good old fashion hard work," said Kay. Unknown to the other blonde, she tapped her foot in morse code, ordering her crew to load the cannon. "Say, after we win, whaddya say we grab we grab that dinner we talked about."
"As I said before, we all eat dinner at the same time," said Darjeeling; she signaled the crew to aim. "And what makes you so sure you'll win. We currently have the advantage in numbers."
"Aw, can't you just play along?" said Kay; she tapped her foot, giving the order to aim. "And I'm not worried. We've got a secret plan in motion."
"Oh, and would you care to share?" asked Darjeeling; ready….
"Then it wouldn't be a secret," said Kay teasingly; ready….
Both sides were preparing to fire at the same time without realizing it…but were threw off balance when an air horn lasted through the village. At that instant, all tanks stopped (which was fortunate for Shizuka as she was about to be hit by Alice's sneak attack.) Everyone tilted their heads back and only just noticed the helicopter being piloted by Maho with Chris in the passenger's seat, his trusty (read: annoying) bullhorn in hand.
"Game over!" Chris announced. "The flag has been captured, which means the Bruised Bokos are the winners."
"Wha – how?" Darjeeling stuttered, spinning around sharply. To her dismay, Katyusha was standing on one of the low stone walls, waving the Bruised Bokos' flag proudly.
"Ha-Hah! Katyusha is victorious!" Katyusha cheered.
"Good job, Katyusha," Kay praised with a thumbds-up.
"Don't call Katyusha that!" Katyusha snapped.
"Congratulations to the Bruised Bokos!" said Chris. "You live to entertain me another day! Punchys, I'll see you tonight. One of you is going home!"
CONFESSIONALS
Anchovy: We would have annihilated them if Marina's tank hadn't blown up when it did. How did that even happen, anyway. Tanks don't just blow up for no reason.
BZZT
Emi: We were sabotaged again. And Marina ended up getting hurt both times. It had to be someone on the Bokos.
BZZT
Shizuka: I'd wager my money on Jajka.
BZZT
Aung: It was Jajka.
BZZT
Semla: Totally Jajka
BZZT
Jajka: We won thanks to my strategy, but now everyone is starting to suspect me. I'll lay low for a little while before plotting my next move.
When the night had fallen and the waxing moon glimmered overhead, the S.S. Total Drama had already left from Crete and was setting course for its next destination. And to their disappointment, the Pummeled Punchys found themselves in the auditorium for the next Honorable Discharge Ceremony.
"Welcome, Punchys," said Chris as he walked on stage with Maho. Oddly enough, the latter wasn't carrying the usual box of fake medals. "Oof. Pretty rough day out there, huh?"
"That's putting it mildly," said Emi grumpily, leaning her head in her hand.
"Normally, this is the part where you would take a vote and have those who weren't eliminated come pick up a medal," said Chris, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "But given the condition of one of your team members…."
He was, of course, referring to Marina, who was forced to sit in the aisle instead of a chair. Count High's commander was still sporting the injures from her fall, but was now confined to a wheelchair with a neck brace and the left side of her face covered in bandages, escorted by the ship's doctor, Mizuki.
"If season two taught us anything," Chris continued, "it's that critically injured players should be removed from the game to avoid a potential lawsuit."
"My, how generous," said Darjeeling sarcastically.
"So, as fun as it was to have you around, Marina," said Chris, "I'm afraid this is where your journey ends. It's time to walk – or roll, in your case – the Deck of Shame. There's a medevac on deck waiting to take you back to Japan."
Count High's commander was strangely silent, but nodded her head in acknowledgement. She gestured to Mizuki that she was ready to leave and was wheeled out by Mizuki.
"Marina had really terrible luck today, huh?" Miho commented once Count High's commander was out of the room. "It's like all the bad things only happened to her."
"And after all those times she talked about how 'the fates' decided what the right course of action was," said Darjeeling, shaking her head.
"…Now that I think about it," said Shizuka thoughtfully. "If Marina hadn't stepped in…all of those bad things would've happened to you, wouldn't they, Darjeeling-dono?"
St. Gloriana's commander paused for a moment of thought…then gasped when she realized Shizuka was right.
MEDEVAC CAM
Marina: Did I know that Jajka was out to sabotage Darjeeling? Yes, I did. The cards told me so. Why did I take Darjeeling's place instead of leaving her be? Once again, the cards had seen her fate. Jajka will pay for what she has done, and Darjeeling will play a role in her downfall. Heh, I look forward to seeing it.
Jajka was walking back to her cabin, toweling off her hair after coming from the shower, when she heard someone running up behind her. She turned around and shot an annoyed look as Nishi approached her.
"Jajka-san, I need to talk to you," said Nishi urgently.
"Can this wait, Kinuyo?" said Jajka irritably. "I'm tired and I want to go to bed – "
"About that explosive on Marina-san's tank," Nishi cut her off. "Did you know that would happen. That Marina-san would get hurt like that."
"It was more than I was expecting," Jajka admitted. "But it did the job. We won today because of me. You're welcome."
"And the parachute?" Nishi continued, her hands shaking. "Were you the reason why Marina-san's chute would deploy?"
"I would think that was obvious," said Jajka brazenly.
"She could've died!" Nishi gasped horrifically.
"But she didn't, and that's all that matters," said Jajka indifferently.
"How can you say such a thing?!" cried Nishi, taking a step back. "This has one too far! I'm going to tell Chris what you did and he will – "
"No – you're not!" said Jajka, grabbing Nishi forcefully by the arm. "Don't forget, you and Mika went along with my plan and that makes you accomplices. If I go down, I'll take you both with me. Do you wanna ruin Mika's chance at winner just so you can tattle on me. And what about your followers back in Chi-Ha-Tan. The ones who put all their faith in their commander, praying for her victory. Do you want to be the one to crush all their hopes, to see all their disappointed faces? Is that what you want?"
"…No…," Nishi mumbled, looking down at the floor dejectedly.
"Then keep your mouth shut," Jajka spat.
Jajka walked away, leaving Nishi to wallow in self-pity in the middle of the hallway. Neither of them realized that a shadow had pressed itself around the corner behind Nishi, holding their breath anxiously.
Fukuda had heard everything.
Commanders Remaining: 18
Bruised Bokos: Alice, Wallaby, Erika, Semla, Nishi, Mika, Jajka, Kay, Katyusha
Pummeled Punchys: Miho, Emi, Anchovy, Darjeeling, El, Shizuka, Marie, Trout, Aung
