She watched him go down. And get back up. And go down. And get back up.

A horrifying repetition over and over and she just wanted the boy to stop so she could stop hurting him. Canary sucked in a deeper breath as she lashed out again watching the boy fall again. By now his green shorts were covered in dirt along with his green jacket, his face was swollen and blood dripped down from his lips and a cut above one eye. And yet, he still pulled himself up, amber eyes burning with determination as he stepped forward again.

She knocked him down again, heart clenching painfully in her chest. These were Master Killua's friends and she did not want to hurt them. In fact she'd rather drag them up there herself so they could help-

But her duty could be cruel and she had orders to waylay them.

Her eyes swept over the others in the group noting their stony expressions. They were unmoving from the moment this whole spectacle started and she needed to know why they were letting this happen. Why couldn't they stop him, this boy who wouldn't stay down?

"Be reasonable," she cried finally, unable to stand it. "This is getting you nowhere! And you! You're his friends, why aren't you helping!?"

The smallest of the group, another child like her young master, huffed and looked away sharply, glaring into the treeline. But the other three… They were unmoving, their eyes set and unshakeable in their resolve. The tallest of them had his arms crossed, mouth set into a thin line looking for all the world like an immovable mountain. The blonde one was the same, looking to be carved from marble for all that the breeze gently shifted his hair and clothes. The woman looked more like a caged predator, head cocking this way and that as if searching for a weakness and the nen radiating off of her was surprisingly still compared to her body.

It was entirely unnerving and she stepped back at the sheer wall of radiating intensity.

The small green one immediately took advantage, rushing forwards and snapping his fist into the stone of the wall beside her. It shattered, scratching across her face in pebbles as she fought to control her limbs, to push forward, push him back and yet she was frozen.

"Well," the boy spoke, "I stepped over the line."

Her mouth parted but words would not come. What could she say to him? She didn't want to know how long she could be here, testing, and shoving, and knocking him over.

"We came here to see Killua. So, why!? Why won't you let us pass?"

Her bottom lip quivered and she swallowed harshly to quell the reaction. He stared at her from his swollen bloodied face. His eyes were flat, but not unkind; an analytical gaze staring at her as if he could see to the very core of her. And who could say this little boy couldn't? She'd never met anyone like this, anyone that could befriend Master Killua in such a short time.

"You're not like Mike," he continued when she could not force herself to speak. "No matter how much you try to hide it behind masks… you have feelings. When I said Killua's name, for just a moment- your eyes gave the impression of gentleness."

And what could she do when she was so thoroughly noticed but to cry out for help. "Please," her voice cracked but she pushed through it because- because this boy was nothing like Master Killua and everything that he needed- this boy could help- "Please save, Master Killua."

A heavy hand landed on her shoulder and she stiffened horrified at her weakness. The Master was here and she had just begged help from outsiders. She had just-

"Apologies," Master Zeno hummed. "We were waiting for you to make your own way but I believe it would do my grandson good to see you now. My name is Zeno Zoldyck and I will be escorting you the rest of the way."

The green boy, the one that didn't know how to quit-

He stared at Master Zeno with the same look he'd turned on Canary herself. Her breath caught in her chest but the man standing at her side did not move until the boy himself bobbed his head in a nod.

The atmosphere lightened and Canary felt as if she could breathe again. It hadn't been bloodlust, nor killing intent, nor nen- all of those she could face with no issues. But this one boy? She couldn't face down his stare without trembling…

Master Zeno seemed unaffected, instead turning and leading the way back up to the main manor. His arms were crossed behind his back and his back was hunched in a familiar manner. The only signs of stress that she could make out was the quickness to his steps. Perhaps to an outsider it wouldn't be noticeable but as one familiar with the Zoldyck habits, Canary knew that things were not good. Why had Master Zeno himself come down?

Before she could think on it further -before she could spiral into fretting- the other boy that was with them trotted up to her side watching her with curious eyes. Now that he was closer she could make out that one was blue and the other green. She'd thought it had been a trick of the lighting making one appear lighter than the other.

He blinked at her and she blinked back.

At her back she'd been bracketed by the others and to avoid having to awkwardly go around them, she started walking with the group as well.

"Why's your skin so dark?"

Her foot almost missed the next step.

That was not what she was expecting him to say!

"I was born like this," she responded after a moment. A glance at Master Zeno showed that he did not mind them conversing. Or that she was apparently coming with them even though she hadn't finished her perimeter rounds. Gotoh was going to be very upset with her but… they were going to Master Killua and she hadn't seen him since being admitted to the infirmary the first time. (And that she had to specify a first time made her want to cry.)

"Jasper," the tall man spluttered, squeezing close to her, apparently not minding that she'd beaten one of their own repeatedly and was a butler to an assassin family. "You can't just ask things like that!"

"Why not?" the smaller boy responded petulantly.

"It's not- you can't-"

"I've always wondered that too!" The cheerful insertion came from the green boy who was allowing the blonde to carefully wipe his face as they walked. "Like, Kurapika and Killua are so white! And I'm sort of gold but you, Miss, you're dark brown! I don't think I've ever seen anyone that dark except for this one guy in the Hunter Exams!"

Her lips twitched as the sheer innocence pouring off of the two boys while the older group of three looked exasperated. The entire energy was completely different from earlier and it was amazing to see how they interacted now compared to when she was forced to do her duty. The younger ones walked side by side, close enough their hands were probably brushing. The nen user still had that predatory air about her but it was dulled now, more of a mother cat instead of a huntress chasing prey. The blonde one was still trying to clean the grinning child in green and the tall one was looming over her shoulder as if she were somehow part of this strange pack of people as well. It was slightly heartwarming.

"I believe it has something to do with colored pigments in your skin when you're born," she answered after seeing their expectant gazes and when no one else says anything.

"Does that mean you could be born green?"

"No way, Gon! Green only shows up when people are rotting or something! If you're born green you'd have to be rotting!"

"Ew! But can you be rotting and alive? Don't you have to be dead for that?"

"People can rot alive! There used to be this old guy who lived by this giant pile of scrap metal near the house. He was really nice but his whole arm was green and drooly from rotting. He couldn't use it anymore."

Canary frowned minutely. She only knew of one disease that had the symptoms of green pus precluding rot and it was quite specific to Meteor City. It was something about the bacteria in the contaminated soil that necrotized the skin by liquifying the subdermal layers green first. Once the blisters started forming visibly on the skin it already meant that the muscles underneath were starting to necrotize. For him to describe it as drooly probably meant that the man's arm was already dead on the inside, the muscles having rotted away before bursting through the pustules on the surface.

She forcibly turned her thoughts away from those disgusting memories, trying instead to understand more about the boy that had glared at her but refused to step in on his friend's behalf.

Two colored eyes…

A (most likely) Meteor City child…

Why did this sound so familiar?

The bickering between the boys continued all the way up to the main house. Canary did not speak again, though, far too busy trying to remember what she was forgetting.


Silva watched his son quietly. Seated so closely to him, Killua looked small and frail. His white hair had a limp quality to it even though it was cared for consistently by the staff. His shoulders matched his hair with a heavy slump that curved his back in a way that his heir had never consciously done. Tucked against the pillows of Silva's favorite couch he looked even smaller than his actual age would suggest, downcast eyes only adding to the overall pitiful image.

They hadn't reapplied his dosage at lunch in preparation for his friend's possible arrival, so the boy was clear of mind and yet-

He sighed through his nose. "Killua, will you not even talk to me?"

There wasn't a response which was expected if not what he would have preferred. Forcing his son to talk would only exacerbate the situation but to sit here in silence was… uncomfortable. It wasn't a very common feeling for the Head of the Zoldyck family and he'd rather it went away but as the past few meltdowns had shown… dealing with Killua was delicate and took much more forethought than anything else.

"Well… perhaps you'll listen to me instead," he said quietly, throwing an arm over his knee as he tucked his leg up, foot resting on the metal edge of the couch, not quite dangling. "Once, a long time ago a hard headed young boy was taught the way of the assassin. His emotions ran deep and his control had always been in question. The boy needed the discipline that was being taught from the way provided. And as such… he taught this way to all of his children."

He paused to take a steadying breath and glance at his son. Killua was, unsurprisingly, unmoved. Silva continued anyway. "It was my own folly. Perhaps I was too overzealous… perhaps I did not give enough attention to my children individually. Whatever the case may be, it is my fault that this has happened to you and for that… I apologize, Killua."

There was a slight twitch which Silva took as a sign of progress. He waited again, longer this time, but there was still no response. He had no more to say though, so he went back to observing. Time passed by in a crawl but neither Zoldyck moved.

His father entered the room quietly and Silva's eyes slid over to him.

"Kalluto has confirmed that we have guests. I'll be going to retrieve them."

He gave a single nod, watching Killua peripherally. White brows furrowed as his chin tilted up, dull eyes staring at his grandfather in confusion. Zeno did not speak to the boy, only exiting the room without a sound.

SIlva knew that time was running out. He had a decision to make.

"Killua."

The boy's head drooped again.

"Killua."

Blue eyes flicked in his direction.

He tilted his head, taking in the flat expression on his son's face but… what initially looked like dull, faded eyes held the beginnings of absolute seething hatred.

He made up his mind.

With one hand he plopped his fingers on top of Killua's hair and ran his fingers through it so he had a good grip. Then he yanked back, eliciting a squeak of displaced air from his son as his other hand lanced forward. When he pulled it back there was a needle in his hand and blood dripping down Killua's ashen cheeks.

Silva leaned back to his original position, eyeing the needle in his hands. All of this trouble due to this small little thing. He should have never approved it. He should have paid more personal attention to his heir. He should have done a lot of things, truly. But events in the past could not be changed and he would just have to deal with the future as it happened. Mistakes were made to be learned from and Silva had most certainly learned to be more careful with Killua going forward.

"Illumi cannot intrude in your mind again unless you let him," he said solemnly, flicking the needle away.

Killua's wide eyes followed it, one of his hands brushing against his bloodied forehead disbelievingly. "That- That was- Big brother's…?"

Silva shifted his leg back down to the floor slowly. This was the first time he might be able to actually talk to his son and he wasn't going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers so easily. "You've always been strong, Killua, but never cold-hearted."

The pre-teen's hands started trembling even as tears built in his eyes. "I held his heart."

The whispered confession was warbled and gritty, a dark secret from Son to Father. Silva accepted it gracefully with only a nod. "Will you tell me about your friends?"


Gon stared at the door in anticipation, Jasper's fingers clenched tightly with his own. With the rest of the group waiting in- what the old man had called- the foyer, Jasper and himself were led further into the building to meet with Killua. The old man, Zeno, had told them when they had first entered the house that Killua had not been doing well. They only wanted one or two people to greet him at a time, preferably Jasper first because he was the one that needed to be seen the most. Gon had refused to be left behind.

Now they were waiting outside of the door where Killua and apparently his father were waiting for them.

"What if he freaks out at me," Jasper whispered quietly. "He thinks I'm dead and… what do I even say? I'm not- not mad at him-"

"Then tell him that," he responded, not even looking away from the door. "Why ask silly questions when you could just say what you're thinking?"

"Heh. You're right. I wanted to have natural reactions to him so I should just act naturally."

Gon grinned, squeezing Jasper's hand briefly. Not even a moment later the old man slipped out into the hallway with them. His eyes were serious and sad… but overall Gon thought the old guy seemed really tired. He didn't really care about that right now, though, because Killua was right there and if he didn't get to see him soon Gon was going to vibrate right out of his boots. Apparently sensing his mood Zeno huffed, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Be gentle with my grandson."

Gon and Jasper nodded and they were let into the room.

The first person he saw was a very large man wearing purple martial arts clothes sitting on a pile of pillows that were sat up against a large metal bench-looking couch. His white-blond hair shimmered in the dull blue lighting of the room and seemingly glowing blue cat eyes were fascinating enough that Gon did not immediately notice the smaller figure almost hidden behind the much much larger man. The extremely large guard hound sleeping next to the man, wearing a strange metal helmet on it's head also didn't help. Nor did the weird strung-up figures that looked like some strange half-built mechanical dolls.

But when he did notice-

"KILLUA!"

Gon launched himself across the room, Jasper halfway forgotten in his joy over seeing his other friend. When he was close enough to see panic in the small assassin's eyes, Gon screeched to a stop, arms twitching at his sides. No matter how much his friend was radiating loneliness, pain, and 'help me!' Gon had the strongest feeling he shouldn't touch. Something about the way Killua clutched his hands together, tucking them against his chest screamed at him not to glomp his friend like he very much wanted.

(Also maybe he was slightly wary of the now awake dog that was staring at him with one eye in the corner of his vision.)

"Gon!? Wha- Why? What are you doing here!?"

Gon frowned in confusion and a slight bit of offense. "We came for you, duh!"

"We?"

"Well, yeah! Kurapika and Leorio are outside and-"

"And me," Jasper said loudly, nervously from behind him, eyeing the dog that had shifted his head with a growl.

Killua tensed, cheeks draining of any remaining color. His breath came in short pants as the assassin turned his head ever so slowly towards Jasper and Gon looked over as well, cocking his head to study the dynamic between them. Jasper was still very obviously nervous but he was standing tall, eyes wide and alert as he turned his full focus on Killua. In return, Killua seemed to be terrified, which… was not exactly the reaction they were hoping for.

Suddenly, Gon understood that when Old Man Zeno had said 'not well' he hadn't meant physically sick and it made Gon's heart ache. Something serious had happened, something serious enough that Killua had new scars splashed across his hands in purple crescent shapes, something serious enough that there were two adults actively watching their reunion. His hand shot up to clutch at his jacket over his heart as it beat more painfully with every second that passed, every second that new and horrible thoughts entered his mind.

"Nutty…?" It was no more than a whisper, something he was sure he would have missed if he wasn't so close.

Jasper's lips twitched. His brows furrowed. "That's what you call me!? What kind of nickname is that!"

Everyone stared for a moment before Killua broke down sobbing.

Gon glanced at the two adults in a panic. Normally, he'd just use a hug to comfort but there was still something blaring at him that touching was a no-go. Neither Old Man Zeno nor the cat-eyed man (who he assumed was Killua's father) made any moves to provide comfort but they were watching the scene like hawks. Super unhelpful!

"Gon, sit on him."

He jumped and stared at Jasper who was watching with an unreadable look in his eyes. The green one was starting to slightly glow which was new. Did that mean Harry was more present? Could Harry even be more present without fully coming out?

"I'm going to try something and it's either going to work or end very badly. So I need your help. Sit on him."

Well, the adults still weren't doing anything so… "Right."

He judged the best way to do it with minimal injuries if Killua lashed out. Then he plopped on the boy's lap, his knees taking most of his weight as they sank to the bottom of the pillows against the unmoving metal that made up the very strange couch. As Killua's legs were loosely crossed Gon was able to fully trap his friend's lower half which made the boy jerk back and buck but Gon was firmly seated and wouldn't be moved easily. His arms he kept loosely in front of him but he didn't restrict Killua any further than that.

The white haired boy was now hiccuping in distress, his muscles tense and quivering. It looked like he was trying to speak but all that would come out was a croaking. Gon was frowning now, watching every move carefully. Jasper came into his peripheral, eyeing the larger man beside them who still made no move to leave or even shift over to give them more space. His older friend huffed and turned back to Killua. They stood (and sat) there unmoving for a while, letting Killua exhaust himself. It took far longer than it would a normal person but eventually the tears stopped and Killua was breathing somewhat normally again. His blue eyes were drooping and his hands were still clenched to his chest, fingers interlocked to keep them from doing anything.

"You're afraid to touch me, aren't you?"

The question startled Killua who turned to look at Jasper again, that same hysteria from before building and falling and building in his eyes.

"It's why you haven't moved your hands at all. You won't touch Gon either, will you?"

Jasper's eyes were intense, laser focused on the child assassin and Gon watched quietly. It made sense, what Jasper was saying. Killua had really hurt Jasper so now he was super afraid to do it again.

"That's dumb," Gon scoffed. "You wouldn't hurt us!'

He got a look of incredulity for that one.

"Gon is right! It wasn't you! It was your stupid older brother!" Here Jasper paused and squinted his eyes, turning back to the adults suspiciously. Then his chin dipped and Gon felt the determination wafting off of his older friend. "I'd be a better big brother, so I'm going to steal you."

It was a bold statement and Gon agreed wholeheartedly. "Yeah! I'll help," he laughed, grinning in the face of Killua's disbelief.

"Gon! Hug him!"

"Kay!"

This time he didn't hesitate, lunging forward to wrap his arms around his best friend. Killua protested noisily, squirming beneath him but Gon held on ever tighter. Then there was a body at his back, hands wrapping around him to clutch at the shirt near Killua's ribs.

"I don't mind waiting for you to touch me," Jasper said quietly. "But you should know I was never mad at you. I forgive you."

"You- you-" Killua's voice was strangled and croaky still but he was speaking which was always a good thing! "You can't- can't remember…"

"Oh! Aha! Untrue," Jasper responded with false cheer. He was actually radiating nerves against Gon's back so Gon just hummed deep in his chest to soothe both of his friends. "You fixed that actually! Or well getting hurt fixed that technically- See, I had something blocking my memories and the Hunter's were able to fix it in the hospital so now I can make new memories. Remembering old ones is dangerous apparently according to Harry. Oh! You haven't met Harry-"

Jasper talked and talked and talked and talked for a good few hours. He spoke of Harry, he spoke of nen and training with Miss Menchi, he spoke of some of his family members that he thought Killua might get along with and others that Gon might like more, and eventually he confessed via Harry's comments that Jasper had mental breakdowns and flashbacks too. So, Jasper and Harry understood how Killua felt and they said that it was okay because they were still here and they were going to continue being there.

The whole time Killua's father and grandfather were quiet observers, almost completely forgettable except for their physical presence and even then they seemed to fade into the background. Gon was a little jealous of how easy they were able to achieve that state compared to when he did it in the Hunter Exams.

When Jasper's voice grew too rough and dry to continue speaking, Killua had finally started leaning into Gon's hold, his breaths deep and even. He almost would have thought the boy was asleep except he spoke, "Well… now we know you're an actual nutcase with a voice in your head."

Jasper jolted in offense, his hands tugging at Killua's shirt pressing him further into Gon. "Excuse you! Harry is real, you jerk!"

"Never said he wasn't," Killua chuckled. And Gon took that for the victory that it was.

"You have good friends, Killua."

All three of them startled, turning towards the large man at their side. Blue slitted eyes stared back at them in contemplation, gentleness softening the corners. Gon knew at that moment that Killua's father did care, he actually cared quite a lot… and so what happened next wasn't all that surprising.

Slowly and carefully, a large hand settled over fluffy white, fingers carding gently through the locks. Jasper's arms tightened but he was otherwise unmoved when Killua's father leaned forward to address his son. "You are a Zoldyck, Killua. You are my son. But above all that you're you. Live your life how you want to live it. When you're fed up, you can come back, okay?"

Killua's voice was soft and disbelieving again when he asked, "Come… back?"

The man's mouth tilted slightly at the corners. "You want to go with your friends, don't you?"

"Yeah… Yes. I do."

"Alright. You're free to leave but promise me something first. Never betray your friends."

Killua's father bit his thumb hard enough to bleed and offered it to Killua with a solemn face. Gon pulled himself away slightly, just enough for Killua to move his hands if he wanted. It took a moment but eventually his friend did end up unlatching his hands and bringing one up to his mouth, biting down. Their thumbs pressed together and Gon was fascinated by the concept of swearing on blood. Did that make it more important than even a promise?

Could they do that with Killua too to make him feel better about leaving with them?

"I promise." His voice was strong now, almost like the Killua he'd met before the whole Jasper mess. "I will never betray my friends."

Then Killua tucked his face into Gon's neck, the back of his injured hand resting lightly against his green jacket.


AN: And catharsis is reached! Don't think everything is all fixed right away now... but we've definitely started the beginning stages of healing. What do you think of the runion?

Q&A: Drakality- I'm always thankful you take the time to leave a review! Jasper is definitely going to worm his way into more memory viewing and Harry is definitely going to start lighter. Yes, Menchi is just following along at the moment.

Bluepeony0- Really? Wow! That's amazing! I hope they keep being good stress relievers for you!

KrixLight- Thank you so much! I'm really proud of myself for how consistent I've been with this story! Killua is actually the middle child! Both Alluka and Kalluto are younger than him :)

Tetractys- Yes! Training for the win! They all definitely need it...