Chapter 150

"It's so good to see you, Paris," Lorelai smiled, sitting down at the table as Rory sat down in the other empty seat.

"It's great to see you too, Lorelai. Sookie was just telling me about the robbery." Lorelai's face fell, and Rory sighed. Lorelai quickly recovered.

"Yes, it was a real shame, but we're back on our feet. Nobody can keep us down," Lorelai smiled charmingly. Sookie smiled softly.

"It was nice to see you, Paris. I'll get your iced tea out shortly."

"Thanks, Sookie," Paris smiled. Sookie gave Rory a quick hug.

"Always great to see you too, sweetie. We'll catch up later, the kitchen is a nuthouse today."

"Go ahead, I'll see you later, Sookie," Rory agreed, smiling.

"So, Paris…what brings you to Rory's, or Stars Hollow?" Lorelai asked casually. Paris sighed heavily.

"It's kind of…unflattering."

"Paris, I got knocked up at sixteen. I'm the last one to judge."

"Well…" Paris looked at Rory tentatively, who nodded encouragingly. Paris looked down. "I'm not sure I love my husband anymore."

Lorelai sharply inhaled, and Rory's eyes widened. After a moment, Lorelai looked at Paris."

"You're not sure you love him, or you're sure you don't love him?"

"…I'm not sure I love him."

"Okay. Well let's start with when, and how, and get to why," Lorelai said matter-of-factly, pouring herself a glass of the iced tea from the pitcher that had appeared at the table, and pouring one each for Rory and Paris as well. Paris took a big sip of her glass.

"I noticed it a couple of months ago, I think, though it's become really acute in the last few weeks. If I had to say, I started noticing it more and more throughout my pregnancy."

"Wait, can you have iced tea? Doesn't it have caffiene?" Rory interrupted. Both Lorelai and Paris turned to her, Lorelai rolling her eyes and Paris glaring.

"She's fine," Lorelai said.

"You think I haven't done every bit of research and…"

"Alright, alright, sorry! Forget I said anything. You were telling us when you realized you didn't love your husband," Rory said, hurt, rolling her eyes. Lorelai narrowed her eyes.

"Hon, why don't you go see if Sookie can set you up with a cup of coffee?" Lorelai asked meaningfully.

"But…"

"Give us a minute."

Rory huffed, before getting up and heading to the kitchen. Lorelai sighed and looked at Paris apologetically.

"I'm sorry. You know how she can get sometimes."

"I mean, it's probably fair for her to judge me. It's a thing worthy of judgment."

"Not really, Paris. It's okay for feelings to change, and it's definitely okay to question them. All of that is a lot better than acting without really thinking things through."

"…did Rory tell you why I came?"

"…a little. But I think you should tell me. Keep talking. You said things started to feel different when you got pregnant?"

"As the pregnancy progressed," Paris answered. "I noticed it, but I wasn't sure what to do. I got kind of irritable. But I was trying to keep it together."

"And then?"

"And then he comes home, 2 PM on a Monday, and casually informs me that he's no longer at his job."

"…no longer at?"

"Fired," she said plaintively, "Downsized. Not for cause. But still. He just drops that on me. And there I am, getting a few hours sleep after being up all night doing a surgery, and he's calm and casual like he told me he forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. Which, incidentally, he always does."

"Probably not super relevant," Lorelai said, a smirk passing over her lips before changing to a more somber expression, "He wasn't reassuring?"

"He acted like it was nothing. And I panicked. And I went to Rory's."

"Did you fight?"

"…I yelled and left. I didn't really give him any time to respond."

"…less than ideal."

"I mean, what else is there to say?" Paris said, her frustration clear, "He wouldn't have been downsized if he'd been useful, and he doesn't even care enough to try, and now it's all on me, like it always is, and just because I can handle everything on my own doesn't mean I should have to."

"Did you guys have that imbalance before you got pregnant?"

"Sure," Paris said, a little dismissively.

"Then why…"

"We always wanted this. I loved him. I figured he'd step up."

"And he's not."

"Not yet, no. And I'm starting to think he won't."

"You said loved."

"I'm not sure what I meant."

"…are you sure you aren't sure?"

"…I don't want to think about it right now. I mean, I'm seven months pregnant, Lorelai. This isn't the time to be having an existential crisis about my marriage."

"Yet here you are, in Stars Hollow, having an existential crisis about your marriage. Sometimes they don't follow the timetables we wish they did. Pesky existential crises." Paris grinned in spite of herself.

"Am I allowed back?" Rory asked cautiously, approaching the table. Lorelai sighed.

"Of course. But why don't we go get Paris some chocolate first? I feel like this conversation will go down better with chocolate."

"Okay," Rory sighed, following her mom.

"Rory…I get where you're coming from. But Paris needs you to be there for her, as her friend. If that's not something you can do…"

"I've been doing it all week! Am I not allowed to have an opnion?"

"Rory, it's her marriage. It's her thing to navigate, and it's big and serious."

"So you're saying since I haven't been married, I don't have the right to my own thoughts."

"Well that's quite a way of warping it," Lorelai said, rolling her eyes, "Look, you just don't seem to be in a place to support her."

"She won't talk to me. How am I supposed to when I know she's keeping things from me?"

"She'll talk to you in her own time, but only if she thinks you'll be there for her, instead of against her."

"I'm not against her!"

"You were being kind of judgmental."

"…she's my friend. She should be talking to me about these things."

"And she will. But she's also pregnant, and married, and a lot of her concerns are about those things, which I happen to be able to relate to."

"I can…"

"You can and you can't. There's nothing wrong with that. Just…let her talk to you about it on her terms, okay?"

"Fine," Rory said, clearly agitated, but resigned, "That's fine. But I'm going to go home. She should talk to somebody, and if I go, at least she'll keep talking to you."

"I'll text you when she's on her way back."

"Sure," Rory said uninterestedly, "I'll see you later." She gave her mom a cursory hug and headed for the door.

"Rory's leaving?" Paris asked, as Lorelai rejoined her at the table and as they watched Rory go through the front door of the Inn.

"She has some things to do for work."

"I make her uncomfortable. With this stuff."

"…she's still learning how to support you with this kind of thing. Since she hasn't experienced it."

"I feel bad. I don't want her to feel shut out."

"Well then, let her in. If and when you want, and feel ready."

"…thanks, Lorelai."

"So…to now. What are you going to do?"

"I haven't decided," Paris said, closing her eyes wishfully, "I don't want to keep being so stressed out about this. I want to just keep the baby healthy and happy."

"Do you know…"

"It's a girl. We agreed on Marie Joan for her name."

"It's beautiful. Congratulations, Paris."

"Thank you," Paris said, a real smile coming across her face, "I love her already. I just want to focus on that right now. I know I have to go home. I just needed some air. And I can figure out the other stuff later."

"The marriage stuff?"

"Yeah. And the work and the home stuff."

"What's going on with those?"

"I'm not even ready to get into it, really," Paris sighed, "But the baby can't sleep in a closet."

"That's…accurate."

"So we need to move, and that's stressful, and compounded by the other pieces."

"…good luck, Paris. You know you're always welcome here, right? With or without Rory."

"Really?"

"Yeah. In fact…why don't you come stay at the Inn next weekend? We have a couple extra rooms, and you can kind of just have a little vacation for yourself and the baby."

"You'd really do that for me?"

'Of course, Paris," Lorelai smiled, "Anytime. Now, you guys are still welcome to stay at my place, but I think it makes more sense for you to go back to Philadelphia with Rory tomorrow, stay the night, and head back to Boston Sunday. Maybe getting back to work will at least help some of the stress." Paris nodded, her face lighting up.

"That sounds like a good idea. Thanks, Lorelai."

"Anytime, Paris. I'll see you and baby-to-be next weekend."