Chapter 164

"Ms. Kim?"

Lorelai quickly shook Lane awake, and she stood up.

"Yes?"

"You can see your mother now. You all can."

"Why don't you take a minute with her first, Lane? We'll say hi if there's time," Lorelai said kindly. Lane nodded.

"Thanks, Lorelai."

She smiled at them both gratefully and followed the doctor behind the double doors. Once she left, Lorelai and Rory both sunk back into their seats, inhaling deeply.

"God, I still can't believe it," Rory said, shaking her head softly, "It's just…it's not fair. Lane already has to deal with so much."

"I know," Lorelai agreed, turning to her daughter, "She really got a raw deal. And she's pretty cheerful and upbeat about it, but honestly, it's complete bullshit how much she's had to deal with."

Lorelai thought back to the beginning of knowing Lane Kim. Lane and Rory had become friends when Rory was very little. They were, quite literally, in pre-K together. Lorelai could still remember the day that she'd come to pick up Rory from her first day of school and Rory had pulled Lane over, holding her hand, and proudly told her mom, "Mom, I made a friend!"

That friend was Lane, and somehow, against all logic, Rory and Lane had stayed friends, through thick and thin, and flirtations with cheerleading and grocery store clerks, and Lorelai had been so, so grateful. Without a present dad, she knew that Rory could use all the stability that she could find, and Lorelai could not have been happier that Rory had found Lane early on.

The same could not be said for Mrs. Kim. Mrs. Kim, who had walked in serenely the first day of school to pick up her own daughter, had always inspired some degree of awe and fear. The moment Mrs. Kim had walked in, Lorelai had watched the tiny, exhuberant girl who had been holding Rory's hand drop it and walk over to her mom obediently, following her, walking in a straight line, a serious expression on her face. Until she turned around, and gave Rory and Lorelai a shy smile.

It was a few weeks later when tiny Lane hesitantly introduced Rory and Lorelai to Mrs. Kim. The two girls wanted to have a playdate. Lane asked her mom carefully, and quietly, and with some trepidation in her eyes. But she told her mom that Rory was the first in the class to know her colors and that her mom picked her up on time every single day and had never been late, and that Rory came to school early all the time. Rory had interrupted to explain that she wanted to come even earlier, but her mom wouldn't let her, but that she loved school, and her favorite part was reading, and she was starting to figure out the sounds but there were just so many words! Lorelai thought she'd seen a flicker of a smile across Mrs. Kim's face, before she resumed her still, silent expression and gave Lane a tiny nod.

The girls were thrilled, and Mrs. Kim agreed that they could go to the park together, with both of their mothers. They met at the park after school the next day, on Saturday morning. It was an unseasonably warm October Day, and Lorelai found herself taking off her coat to sit on the bench next to Mrs. Kim as they watched the girls play. That's when she saw Mrs. Kim looking at her left hand.

"No husband?" Mrs. Kim asked, shortly. Lorelai wasn't used to other parents being that direct. She frowned.

"No, no husband."

"Rory's father?"

"Didn't want to be a father," she shrugged, trying to keep her expression neutral. She saw Mrs. Kim's eyes narrow, and her mouth furrow into a frown. Lorelai felt like she could almost hear Mrs. Kim's thoughts, Mrs. Kim considering pulling Lane away from the slide and taking her home. But all she heard was a deep sigh.

"Your daughter is very smart," Mrs. Kim said, after a while. They were watching the two girls, who were talking about princesses, and Rory was explaining to Lane the idea of a government. Mrs. Kim's comment broke a long silence, and Lorelai smiled in spite of her nerves.

"Yeah, she is. I'm really lucky," Lorelai nodded, "And I'm lucky she found Lane."

"Why is that?"

"…she really only has me. And I'm always there. But it's nice for her to have more people in her life she can rely on." At that, Mrs. Kim had nodded thoughtfully.

As Rory and Lane's friendship grew, Lorelai was constantly holding her breath for the moment that Mrs. Kim would revoke her permissions, keep them apart, tear into her for being the "bad influence" she knew Mrs. Kim must think that she was. But that moment never came. Sure, there were rules- so many rules it made Lorelai's head spin, and made her feel like she was back in her mother's house. But Mrs. Kim never tried to keep Rory and Lane apart. She treated the girls' friendship like it was important for them. And it was. As different as they were, Lorelai was grateful to Mrs. Kim for that. And as time went on, and Lorelai eased into motherhood, she felt a certain kinship with Mrs. Kim, a certain understanding. Sure, they went about it differently, but all they wanted was for their kids to be safe and cared for. She found herself feeling less judged by, and afraid of, Mrs. Kim, and rather like another side of the same coin. She might have been imagining it but she thought she saw a similar change reflected in Mrs. Kim as well, a small thawing, a tiny degree of trust. Mrs. Kim cautiously visited Lorelai's house when she moved in, and, with trepidation, allowed Lane to come over after school to study sometimes. A few months later, she was allowed to stay for dinner. By the time the girls were thirteen, they were having sleepovers, very occasionally, at both houses. Lorelai was surprised with each tiny gift of trust, and grateful for it. And today it was all coming back to her- how much not just Lane, but Mrs. Kim, had been a part of her and Rory's story. And how much Mrs. Kim had been a part of Lorelai's own story of being a mother. She inhaled deeply, and hoped that Lane was getting a few good moments with her mom.

"Lorelai," Lane said softly, walking back into the room. Lane's face was red and tear-stained, but her voice was strangely calm, if not a little taken aback.

"Hon…"

"She wants to see you. Quickly- they need to get her to sleep in a minute," Lane nodded. Lorelai furrowed her brow in confusion, but nodded, quickly dashing behind the double doors as Lane went to sit down next to Rory.

"…Mrs. Kim?"

"…Lorelai," she saw Mrs. Kim nod at her from the bed, her voice soft. Lorelai moved closer.

"I'm so sorry you're going through this. But Lane is completely taken care of," Lorelai said quickly. Mrs. Kim nodded.

"I had no doubt. You have always taken care of her as your own."

"They say that things went well, that you'll be better…"

"…I hope so. But…"

"Yes?"

"…I'll be better for a little while. They've told me it's not good. And I know my own body." She saw Mrs. Kim look down and sigh. "I just wanted to thank you."

"You have nothing to…"

"Be quiet, Lorelai."

"Yes, Mrs. Kim," Lorelai said, pursing her lips and trying to hold back a smile.

"…you are a good mother. You have always kept Lane safe, and taken care of her as if she was your own. One day, I will not be able to be there for her. When that day comes, I will be very grateful that she has you." Mrs. Kim said solemly. Lorelai's eyes welled up with tears.

"Mrs. Kim…"

"I'm not finished. I'm also…I…you're a good mother, Lorelai. We have been lucky to have you." Mrs. Kim nodded. She turned her head away. "Call the doctor back in. And make sure Lane eats something."

"…yes, Mrs. Kim." Lorelai said, nodding, as she quietly exited the room. As she passed the doctor, she told him that Mrs. Kim was ready, and he said he'd be out with an update once she was asleep, and then they could all go get some rest themselves. Lorelai tried to take a moment to compose herself before exiting through the double doors.

Upon walking through them, she met Lane's eyes and immediately burst into tears.

"Lorelai?" Lane said incredulously, looking at the woman who'd had it together the entire time they'd been in the hospital, "Wha…"

"Your mom is fine, everything's fine," Lorelai promised, wiping her tears away, and letting Rory put her arms around her, "It's just…your mom…she's got some surprises up her sleeve, doesn't she?"

Lane nodded, cracking a real smile for the first time in hours, "Yeah, she sure does."